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God Fights for Prodigals When We Pray His Will!

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“You know how it feels when you see any glimmer of hope in your prodigal.” —A praying mom

If you follow my blogs and newsletters, you know I wait on the Lord to tell me what to write about each week. God is so faithful to not only give me a word, but also back it up with confirmation that I cannot ignore. So I know today there are parents and grandparents in my reading audience experiencing sorrow over prodigals in your family because that’s what God has told me to write about in this blog. It’s not the first time I’ve written on this topic, in fact, I wrote an entire book about praying for our prodigals.

Last week, hubby and I participated in a prayer group where the common request was for prodigal children, most of whom were in the millennial age range in their thirties and early forties. That was the age of my own prodigal years. Even children raised in Christian homes sometimes want to explore their independence, which might mean venturing into the world’s ways. So, we prayed that night for the spiritual awakening, or reawakening, of all the prodigals.

Then the next night, Dave and I watched a recorded Flashpoint program, which aired originally on the same night the group was praying for prodigals. Gene Bailey, the host of Flashpoint, interviewed Pastor Kent Christmas about his new book, Turning Sorrow Into Joy: A Journey of Faith and Perseverance. Here’s the interview: Kent Christmas on FlashPoint with Gene Bailey Interview Segment 4.9.2024 (youtube.com). If you have a loved one engaging in sexual sin, I highly recommend you listen.

In the interview with Pastor Christmas, they referred to the previous night’s program when again the topic was praying for prodigals. Now God really had my attention, so we watched it also. Gene Bailey interviewed Pastor Tim Sheets of Awaken Ministries and his daughter Rachel Shafer who wrote together Come Home: Pray, Prophesy, and Proclaim God’s Promises Over Your Prodigal. Even as parents and grandparents agonize and grieve with tears on their pillow every night, Pastor Sheets and Rachel offered assurance that God will forgive returning prodigals.

They emphasized that while you wait, stay rooted in God. Your feelings and emotions will lie to you, but God’s Word is truth, as I wrote in last week’s blog Knowing and Speaking Only the Truth Will Keep Us Free!

Come Home contains 90 decrees in Scriptures to pray for bringing prodigals home.  In the interview, the authors mentioned several verses with the prophetic message of hope. Belief accelerates the power of God. Believe in a future where your children will come home physically and spiritually.

But now this is what the Lord says: “Do not weep any longer, for I will reward you,” says the Lord. “Your children will come back to you from the distant land of the enemy. 17 There is hope for your future,” says the Lord. “Your children will come again to their own land. Jer. 31:16-17 NLT

God promises He will fight for and save your children! You must believe and claim these promises and pray them over your children with unwavering faith.

Who can snatch the plunder of war from the hands of a warrior? Who can demand that a tyrant[a] let his captives go? 25 But the Lord says, “The captives of warriors will be released, and the plunder of tyrants will be retrieved. For I will fight those who fight you, and I will save your children. Isaiah 49:24-25

The Message translation of Isaiah 49:24-25 says: Can plunder be retrieved from a giant, prisoners of war gotten back from a tyrant? But God says, “Even if a giant grips the plunder and a tyrant holds my people prisoner, I’m the one who’s on your side, defending your cause, rescuing your children. And your enemies, crazed and desperate, will turn on themselves, killing each other in a frenzy of self-destruction. Then everyone will know that I, God, have saved you—I, the Mighty One of Jacob.”

Those verses emphasize that God’s on our side. He’s going to save our children. While we want to believe this, it’s tempting to take back our concerns and worries even after we cast them onto God. We should quit putting power into earthly circumstances and instead magnify God and His heavenly perspective as these following Psalms emphasize.

All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, 28 for dominion belongs to the Lord and he rules over the nations. Ps. 22:27-28

They [prodigals] will receive the Lord’s blessing and have a right relationship with God their savior. Ps. 24:5 NLT

My Daughter and My Prodigal Story of Redemption

I wrote Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents with input from my daughter of what she was thinking and feeling during her prodigal years. For seventeen years, I was a prodigal raising a prodigal until God reawakened my spirit at a Harvest Crusade where I rededicated my life to Christ. On the stadium floor, I knelt and told the Lord, “Your prodigal has returned. I will go where you send me.”

Kim didn’t receive well the dramatic change in my life. She was happy with the way we were living before. In spite of her resistance, I felt an urgency for Kim to also surrender her life to the Lord. I remembered a time when I stopped eating beef and switched to turkey burger. One day Kim, who was probably in middle school, said, “Mom, don’t you care about my health too?!” I thought she would still want hamburgers, but she wanted to be healthy like me. She hasn’t eaten beef since.

After my rededication, I heard a message on the reality of hell. I couldn’t stand the thought of my daughter going there. I had a dream that I looked down from heaven and heard her saying, “Mom didn’t you care enough about my spiritual health to not give up on me?” That’s when I began praying Scripture for my daughter daily, biblically, expectantly, persistently, sacrificially, unceasingly, and thankfully.

In Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, Kim writes, “Mom, I saw the book Praying God’s Will for my Daughter in your bathroom one time, and I felt resentful that you thought I was ‘lost’ and needed you to pray for me. You turned your life around so completely, and I couldn’t relate to the new, ‘weird’ you. All the praying stuff was outside of my comfort zone. When I learned you were praying for me, it upset me. I felt that I could take care of myself and didn’t need your prayers.”

From the devotional Kim referred to above, I learned how to personalize and pray Scripture for her, which allowed me to pray God’s will while I journaled my will to release my feelings and concerns on paper. I share those journal writings throughout the book and include “40 Days of Praying Scripture for Your Prodigal” on page 313. Kim thanks me today that I never gave up praying for her.

Satan is Targeting Children!

Today, Satan is blatantly attacking the family and children more openly and abrasively than ever before.  Abortion for teenagers or gender changes without parents’ consent. Parents who want to know what their children are being taught in schools labeled domestic terrorists! Drugs are rampant and killing our children. Child suicide has reached record numbers. Schools are teaching young children about perverse sex practices as “sex education,” even as young as kindergarten. As “gay rights” became mainstream and legalized, Satan had to move it up a notch to transgenderism. Children are given drugs and surgically mutilated, irreversibly in many cases, and deceived into thinking they can change their gender from the way God created them. Drag grooming is considered entertainment for children, even though it’s a precursor to pedophilia.

This isn’t normal or biblical. It’s satanical. Satan really is coming after our children, but Christians have the weapons we need to ward off the attacks of the enemy. Prayer. God’s Word. Civic action like voting, running for office, and activism.

I’m not writing this article to promote my book, or any book, but there’s a reason God had these pastors and me write about saving our prodigals. Because we all need to know how to love and pray scripturally for children and grandchildren, while still maintaining a relationship with them without backing down from our biblical beliefs. Their very lives depend on it!

If you have a child or grandchild involved in sinful activities, it doesn’t make it right. Yes, I know it hurts and it’s painful. Parents often think they need to go along with what their child is doing or risk losing the relationship instead of being godly parents and getting them the emotional, spiritual, and mental help they’re so desperately crying out for, while also praying unceasingly for them. If they were a murderer, and some are, you still love your child, but you don’t decide that murder is acceptable because your child committed it. That applies to any and every sin.

I chose to unconditionally love but never condone. In God’s eyes, all sin is wrong, and all have sinned. Only repentance and asking forgiveness from Jesus for our sins places us in a right relationship with God. Salvation.

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. 23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:22-24 NLT

Never Stop Praying!

Declaring God’s Word over your prodigal activates your own faith!

None of us know when Christ is going to return for believers. We watch the prevalent evil today and wonder how long it will be before the Lord says enough. No parent or grandparent wants to have a child or grandchild left behind. That was the urgency I felt when I was praying for my daughter’s salvation. Then I prayed for each of our eleven grandchildren to be saved with the assurance that I would someday see them all again in heaven. Yes, there’s been a few regressions, and I just pray all the harder because I know what God assured me with my daughter: God wants our prodigals back even more than we do!

Don’t give up and let Satan win the spiritual battle for your prodigal’s heart and soul. Though it may seem contradictory, the more rebellious, defiant, stubborn, and argumentative your prodigal becomes, the more you should cling to this hope and encouragement: God is working in his or her heart, and they’re resisting. But that means they haven’t surrendered completely to Satan and are experiencing tormenting guilt. God hasn’t given up and neither should you. There’s still hope.

I know it’s hard to do when your heart is breaking and you don’t see any change in the situation, but never stop praying for your prodigal. Pastor Christmas prayed and interceded for 14 years. I prayed Scripture for six years for my prodigal. Previous blogs from prodigal Alycia Neighbours whose story is in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, shared how long her parents prayed for her return: Never Stop Praying for Your Prodigal! and After the Party for the Returning Prodigal.

Alice prayed for 27 years. She said, “It’s all you can do when everything else is out of your control.” In the chapter on Praying Biblically in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, Alice told how she prayed Scripturally for her daughter, which is how I prayed for my daughter EVERY DAY! It’s simply personalizing and paraphrasing God’s Word as a prayer back to Him. Here’s an example of how Alice said she prayed Scripture for her prodigal.

“I’ve learned to pray for my daughter by praying back the Scriptures to God. For example, I pray Ezekiel 36:27-29 for Liz’s heart to soften and for her to return home: “God, give my daughter Liz a heart of flesh to replace her heart of stone toward spiritual things. Through Your Spirit, move her to follow Your decrees and carefully keep Your laws. Help Liz to return home Allow her to live in the land You, God, gave to her spiritual forefathers; may she be Your child, may You be her God. Save her from all her uncleanness.”

As another praying mom Suzanne said, “I know God isn’t done with her, and I choose to see her the way He does!”

 “Never stop praying!” 1 Thess. 5:17 NLT

Photo Credits: http://www.sharefaith.com

PS Hear the interview I did on Solomon and Jamila Jefferson’s podcast about praying for your prodigals, It’s Not How You Start But How You Finish. click here.

PSS The principles I share in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter also apply to sons and grandchildren. There are questions at the end of each chapter for use in a Support Group or Bible study group.

PSSS For the week of April 15-21, 2024, signed copies of Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter purchased on our website will be reduced to $10, plus tax and shipping costs. We want to enable you to pray for your prodigals! (If PayPal charges you $18.00, we will credit you back $8.00)

Library Update

  • VICTORY!! Idaho’s Governor Little signed the Children’s School and Library Protection Act, finally addressing the widespread library porn issue in a meaningful way! It goes into effect this summer so I’ll  follow up with our local library to be sure they enforce it.
  • Gov. Little also signed Bill 538 that bars teachers from referring to a student by a name or pronoun that doesn’t align with their birth sex unless parents consent.
  • Last month, the governor signed House Bill 668, which blocks the use of public funds for gender-affirming procedures.
  • Gov. Little also signed House Bill 421. It states, “In human beings, there are two, and only two, sexes: male and female. In no case is an individual’s sex determined by stipulation or self-identification.” Most notably, in addition to ruling that sex and gender were synonymous, this bill “codifies in state law biological definitions for ‘woman,’ ‘man,’ and other sex-based terms, making [Idaho] the fifth to exclude men who identify as women from being legally recognized as female.”

Idaho is on a role! What’s happening in your state?

Please leave a comment here. I always reply!

April 15, 2024
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Three Lessons Beyond the Story of His Only Son!

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Last week, Hubby Dave and I saw the latest movie from Angel Studios, His Only Son. I was thrilled that just like Jesus Revolution, this new Christian movie stayed in theaters long after its Pre-Easter release and the five day expected showing. That’s because many Christians poured into theaters to support His Only Son.

When I looked over at Dave during the movie to see if the sounds he was making meant he was falling asleep, I discovered to the contrary, he was crying. The story of Abraham, Sarah, and Isaac brought my tenderhearted husband to tears more than once.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I don’t want to give away too many details, but it’s the familiar story of God asking Abraham to sacrifice his long-awaited son, Isaac, born to elderly parents. The son that God had told Abraham would bring descendants outnumbering the stars in the sky. It’s a beautifully filmed movie with superb acting as it brings the Bible story of Genesis 22 to life. If you haven’t seen it and it’s still in your theaters, I encourage you to go, enjoy, and maybe cry at a father’s love for his son, but his even greater love for the Father in Heaven who Abraham trusted and obeyed, even when asked to perform a seemingly impossible sacrifice.

Interwoven into the story was a brief glimpse of Sarah’s servant Hagar when Abraham and Sarah attempted to go ahead of God. In today’s blog, I want to fill in some of the blanks with lessons from the story of Hagar and Ishmael, discussed in conversation during the movie if you listen closely, but not depicted.

We can learn from the consequences of Abraham and Sarah’s poor decision about using Hagar to circumvent God’s plan. Consequences still felt in the Middle East today.

Who Was Hagar?

When we first meet Hagar in the Bible, she’s an Egyptian maidservant to Sarai (later called Sarah), the wife of Abram (later called Abraham). Sarai was infertile and desperately wanted a child. God had told Abram that he would have an heir, a son, and yet as time passed the aging couple still didn’t have a baby (Gen. 15:2-5).

Mistakenly, Sarai thought the Lord had kept her from having a baby so she came up with her own plan to give Abram a family. (Gen. 16:2) In those days, a maidservant had no rights and was required to comply with whatever her owners told her to do. When her barren and desperate mistress Sarai decides to use Hagar as a surrogate to provide her husband Abram with a child, Hagar has no option but to obey. Abram agreed and slept with Hagar and she became pregnant.

The movie alludes to this, but tastefully never shows Abram and Hagar in any sexual scenes, not even an embrace. This seems like an odd practice to us today, but it was actually an ancient custom in biblical times to ensure the birth of a male heir.

What Happened Next to Hagar?

When Hagar learned she was carrying Abram’s child, she felt superior to Sarai and the Bible says she “began to despise her mistress” (Gen. 16:4). Maybe Hagar was upset that her mistress forced her husband on her, or she felt rejected that Abram didn’t treat her as a wife, and she took her frustration out on Sarai. Whatever the reason, she wrongly thought that her pregnancy empowered her to treat Sarai with contempt.

When the relationship between the two women deteriorated and became hostile, Sarai complained to her husband. Abram told her that this had been Sarai’s idea in the first place and Hagar was hers to do with what she wanted. He wasn’t going to get involved with their dispute. Sarai took that as permission to mistreat Hagar, so pregnant Hagar ran away into the desert. But what she didn’t expect was an encounter with God, which we don’t see in the movie.

7 The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. 8 And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered. 9 Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” Gen. 16:7-9

The angel of the Lord also told her she would have a son and name him, “Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery.” (Gen. 16:11)

So obediently, Hagar returned, gave birth to her son, and stayed on as Sarai’s maidservant. Sixteen years later, Sarai, renamed by God, Sarah, finally had her own miracle son as God had promised, but like any older brother, Ishmael started teasing his little toddler half-brother Isaac. Sarah was having none of this and demanded that her husband, now called Abraham, send Hagar and her son away . . . this time permanently. The movie eludes during a conversation that this took place, but we don’t see it happening. We hear about Ishmael, but never see him.

The child [Isaac] grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. 9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.” (Gen. 21:8-10)

Abraham, now the father of both sons, protested but to his surprise, God intervened and incredulously told him to let them go. Listen in the movie for when Abraham discusses why he let them both go.

11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring[a] will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.” (Gen. 21:11-13)

Reluctantly, Abraham agreed and sent Hagar and Ishmael out into the desert with food and water.

14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. (Gen. 21:14)

God has lessons for us to learn from every biblical story and He tells us the story of Hagar in the Bible so we can apply what she learned to our own lives. Here are three important life application lessons.

Lesson #1: God Never Rejects Us

Hagar must have lamented her painful mistreatment and abandonment. Why was all this happening to her? When her hurt and despair sent her fleeing into the desert the first time, she was surprised but also very relieved and blessed when God met her there. She realized that even in her lowly position in life, she was important to God and He hadn’t rejected or forgotten her.

It was hard to hear God wanted her to go back to Sarai and endure abuse, but then God gave her a name for her son, Ishmael. God said He would even multiply Ishmael’s descendants. Wow, that was quite a promise, which God did fulfill in later years.

Hagar agreed to God’s plan and called the Lord, “The God who sees me, for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Gen. 16:13)

God heard her cries of affliction. Amazingly, a slave girl was the first recorded appearance of God face to face in Scripture. Others had heard His voice or seen visions, but here was God in person.

Like Hagar, when it seems like others are rejecting you, God sees and hears you. Don’t let rejection define you; allow it to refine you. Hagar had the confidence and security in God to humbly return to Sarai and Abram and fulfill her role in biblical history.

Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me! (Ps. 66:20)

The Lord will not reject his people; he will not abandon his special possession. (Ps. 94:14 NLT)

Lesson #2 God is Near to the Brokenhearted

When Abraham sent Hagar and her son Ismael into the desert, it looked like they would surely die when the supplies Abraham had given them were exhausted. Now her precious son who God had given her and even named would starve to death. It was too much for her to bear. She couldn’t watch as he curled up in a fetal positon under a tree, but she couldn’t block out his starving moans and wails.

15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she[b] began to sob. (Gen. 21:15-16)

But, what was she hearing now? Could it be a second encounter with God?! Yes, He had heard the cries of her son and asked her what was wrong? The Angel of the Lord spoke to this distressed mother yet again and reassured her not to be full of fear or sadness. Just as He had promised, God reaffirmed that her son’s legacy would be a great nation.  

17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.” (Gen. 21:17-18)

When we’re in deep despair, our tendency often is to shut out the world, and sometimes that includes shutting out God. But God is the one who understands our distress like no human can. Sometimes He will put people in our life and speak through them to comfort us, but what He longs for us to do is bend our ear towards Him and listen. Let His presence comfort you with the hope that He’s going through this with you and He always has a plan if we open our eyes to see our opportunities and listen to the wisdom He whispers in our prayer time.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Ps. 34:18)

Lesson #3 God’s Plan Is Always the Best One to Follow

When Hagar opened crying eyes, to her astonishment there was a well of water in the middle of the desert. Only God! She ran to fill her wineskin and gave her thirsty son a refreshing drink.

19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. (Gen. 21:19)

Bravely, Hagar believed God and trusted that even as a single mom rejected and stranded in the middle of nowhere, if God said it was so, then she would trust Him and obey again. God was faithful to His promise.

20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt. (Gen 21:20-21)

While we often focus on Abraham and Sarah, God has a powerful lesson in the story of Hagar. Through no fault of her own, she became entrenched in the couple’s contrived plan to fulfill God’s promise themselves instead of waiting for God’s perfect timing and plan. We can’t outsmart or outdo God. His plans always are for good and will prevail, but we’ll pay a price when our impetuous and prideful thinking is that we know best.

22 The Scriptures say that Abraham had two sons, one from his slave wife and one from his freeborn wife.[a] 23 The son of the slave wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God’s promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God’s own fulfillment of his promise. (Gal. 4:22-23)

Just as God promised, Ishmael became a great nation but to this day, his descendants continue to be in conflict with the nation founded by his half-brother Isaac.

Everyday Brave Hagar

I include Hagar in Everyday Brave: Living Courageously as a Woman of Faith because she didn’t let the hard life that she encountered defeat her. She had a personal experience with God and He protected and provided for her. She courageously understood that God was the One she could depend on and trust. He would make a way when circumstances seemed impossible.

Even when we don’t see God face-to-face like Hagar did, or maybe have trouble feeling His presence, our faith assures us of the truth that we’re never alone. God has promised to never leave or forsake us even when others disappoint or even abandon us. God is always just a prayer away.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5b)

If you received this blog by email, please go to the website at this link and leave a comment. I always appreciate hearing from you and reply to each comment.

April 17, 2023
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5 Ways to Survive the Storms of Marriage by Carol Kent

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I’m thrilled to have Carol Kent as a guest today on the Monday Morning Blog and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. If you’re married, you’ve been spending a great deal of time together, more than usual, during the Coronavirus stay-at-home season. There’s probably stress about finances, kids out of school, fear about catching this virus, restrictions imposed on us by local government, maybe loss of a job or trying to work from home and we just want our lives back.

Carol and her husband Gene, along with Cindy and David Lambert, have a new book out that every couple will appreciate not only during these difficult times, but in the inevitable storms we will face together in our marriages.

Carol is offering a free copy of Staying Power so be sure to leave a comment to enter the drawing. Now grab a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy Carol’s words of wisdom.

5 Ways to Survive the Storms of Marriage by Carol Kent

I had been happily married to Gene for more than 25 years when a middle of the night phone call turned my world upside-down. The news was unthinkable.  Our son, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, had been arrested for the murder of his wife’s first husband. Amid multiple accusations of abuse involving the biological father of Jason’s three-year-old and six-year-old stepdaughters, our son unraveled—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—and now he faced a trial for murder. Following seven postponements of the trial, he was convicted of the crime and sentenced to life without parole. 

This caused unspeakable pain (for us and for the victim’s family), emotional tension, financial stress, frayed nerves, public humiliation, and often triggered pressures in our marriage we hadn’t faced before.

Our situation might seem more drastic than what your marriage is going through, but there are times for most of us when due to no fault of our own, outside challenges hit our lives and decisions need to be made. In your case it might be a struggle with infertility, or the addiction of your child, a financial crisis, an accident that changes everything about your future, caring for the needs of an aging parent, a child with a disability, parenting a grandchild, the incarceration of a loved one—and so much more.

How can our marriages become stronger when we face the storms of marriage—those things that come out of the blue, without warning, that threaten to destroy our relationships? Here are five action steps you can take.

1. Decide to be “in this together.” Gene and I, along with our co-authors, David and Cindy Lambert, have discovered through God’s faithfulness during our own trials, that as distressing as many of the challenges our marriages face are, they’re also a rich opportunity to grow together in strength and in wisdom. We have an opportunity to make our marriages stronger and more resilient than before the crisis hit.

John 16:33 says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

2. Make the next right choice. Author Clare DeGraaf helped me understand the importance of pre-decisions. I call them our “non-negotiables”—a series of pre-determined choices we made to each other. Some of those are:

  • I will request, honor, and respect the advice of my spouse.
  • I will serve my spouse sacrificially.
  • I will control my tongue. That means no matter how difficult our situation is, Gene and I are committed to treating each other with kindness.

Clare DeGraaf writes about the 10-Second Rule: “Just do the next thing you’re reasonably certain Jesus wants you to do. (And commit to it immediately—in the next ten seconds—before you change your mind!).”

We discovered that when we regularly spent time with the Lord, Scripture passages we were reading helped to confirm important decisions. We didn’t require another two weeks of uncertainty. We discussed the options, shared what we believed God was nudging us to do, and then made the next important choice.

3. Practice automatic forgiveness. Because Gene and I live in a challenging situation that will probably not end in our lifetime, we’ve had to learn that forgiveness usually isn’t a one-time thing. We’re still human. Tempers flare.

We communicate poorly when we’re exhausted. We’re learning to instantly recognize that this negativity and unforgiveness can escalate. So we STOP and remind ourselves that . . .

  • We want resolution.
  • We need the support of each other, or our marriage won’t survive.
  • Our love is deeper than this crisis. We’re committed to forgiving each other for negative behaviors and outbursts quickly and often.

Proverbs 17:9 NLT says: “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven.”

Our goal is to be unoffendable.

4. Say “yes” to guilt-free time-outs. As a Type-A first-born, I like to solve problems and move on to the next thing. But having an incarcerated son isn’t something that’s a task to be completed on a “to-do” list. I often found myself worn out—trying to keep all of the balls of speaking, writing, being a wife, and caring for my son’s needs in the air—and I hit a wall! 

All couples who face long-term challenges need to develop a daily habit that takes them away from the immediate stress of their ongoing situation for a short while. When our family members are in pain, we often feel uncomfortable experiencing pleasure.

Make a plan to rediscover your joy.

5. Serve while suffering. Find someone who needs help worse than you do. Then do a tangible act of kindness for that person together. Serving others shifts our focus off our own challenges and onto someone else. It makes us Jesus-focused and our own challenges become less overwhelming.

Serving others produces blessing.

“Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” Luke 6:38 MSG

Never give up on defending your marriage and your family against the challenges life throws at you. You can build lasting staying power into your marriage with God’s help.

Drawing for a Free Copy of Staying Power

Which of the five suggested ways to make your marriage stronger in the middle of challenging circumstances is one you’d like to try? Leave a comment and a winner will be selected on Friday, May 8.

Adapted from Staying Power: Building a Stronger Marriage When Life Sends Its Worst, by Carol and Gene Kent and Cindy and David Lambert, Revell, 2020.

Get to Know Carol: 

Carol Kent is a bestselling author and international speaker. She’s the executive director of the Speak Up Conference, a ministry committed to helping Christians develop their speaking and writing skills. She and her husband, Gene, have founded the nonprofit organization, Speak Up for Hope, which benefits inmates and their families. Carol has trained Christian speakers for over twenty-five years and she has been a featured speaker at Women of Faith, Extraordinary Women, and Women of Joy arena events.  She is the author of over twenty-five books, including the bestselling When I Lay My Isaac Down and Becoming a Woman of Influence. Her two newest titles are a 365 page-per-day devotional titled, He Holds My Hand, and Staying Power, co-authored with her husband Gene, and Dave & Cindy Lambert. Connect with Carol on FB, Twitter, or Instagram.

May 4, 2020
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5 Examples of How to Join God in Bringing Good Out of Evil Intent

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How Does God Want Us to Bring Good Out of Evil?

I struggled with what to write this week. As I prayed, God kept bringing to mind two thoughts: Lying always backfires and evil is being exposed.

If you haven’t read my last two blog posts, I hope you will. I’ve received many encouraging comments that they might be the best I’ve ever written and to that I say, “To God be the Glory!” I honestly never know what He’s going to ask me to share with you. I pray and sit down at the computer and suddenly I have a blog post. I often read it later and am amazed at what I wrote. Only God.

10 Things You Can Do in a World Gone Mad!

How Not Mentoring Millennials Implodes a Political Party. What Can the Church Learn?

Everyone Knows The Difference Between Good and Evil

Since Satan enticed Adam and Eve to eat from the fruit of the Tree of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden, humanity has known the difference between good and evil, truth and lies.

15 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it.16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” Genesis 2:15-17 (NLT)

Satan: “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:5

Everyone, even those who choose to do evil and lie, has a conscience. They know the difference between right and wrong . . . except maybe psychopaths

It’s a matter of whether we choose to make evil or good our guiding life force. Tell the truth or lie to our own advantage. You don’t have to be a Christian to make that choice. Even unbelievers can do good and be truthful.

[Tweet “Our choices between good and evil usually come down to whether we’re self-centered or other-centered.”]

Our choices between good and evil usually come down to whether we’re self-centered or other-centered. Caring only about our own selfish desires or caring more about others than ourselves. Again, you don’t have to be a Christian to make the choice to do good, but Christians should always make that choice.

When I hear politicians and pro-choice advocates expound that every woman should have a choice with her body, I want someone to challenge them with asking, “A choice to do what? Good or evil?”

Let’s look at 5 examples of how we can join God in bringing good out of evil intents.

1. Abortion

Many agree that abortion is evil, but until recently how many really did anything about it. Yes, there were annual walks for life and pro-life advocates, but few people, even Christians, let the murder of innocent babies keep them awake at night or invade their everyday life.

Then abortion went to the next level of infanticide and everyone started taking notice. When New York approved abortion up and through delivery and lit up the city in pink to celebrate this evil, the governor of Virginia told us in graphic terms that a baby who survives an abortion could be left to die, and Congress voted to legalize infanticide . . . suddenly we were kept up at night. We were appalled. We couldn’t ignore that 50 million innocent souls are tortured to death in their mommy’s tummy every year.

[Tweet “We can’t ignore that 50 million innocent souls are tortured to death in their mommy’s tummy every year.”]

Social media lit up with graphic pictures and descriptions of the atrocities of abortion. The mainstream liberal media, as usual, wouldn’t touch the topic, but FOX News did. You’d have to be a hermit today to not know what happens to babies during abortion.

So how could this publicity about the atrocities of abortion be used for good?

Pushing the envelope to late-term abortions and infanticide has now made abortion a topic of discussion and disgust.

There’s renewed hope and fervor for overturning Roe vs Wade. We must keep the momentum going when the publicity dies down.

We can’t become complacent again while murder of innocent babies happens in our own hometowns every single day!

Women who have long suffered with the guilt of abortion have an opportunity to use their story for good by sharing their testimonies and turning the bad in their life into good by helping to save more babies. We can pray for these mothers and share with them the forgiveness that comes through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

A young dad who had no say in the death of his own baby when his girlfriend chose abortion, has now brought an unprecedented legal case for the rights of fathers.

We can send a message to Congress that all newborn babies should be welcomed with warmth and care, and join thousands of Americans in a End Birth Day Abortion campaign.

End birthday abortion. Stop infaniticide.

[Tweet “See the movie Unplanned releasing March 29. Tell all your friends about this movie and encourage mothers to take their teenage daughters and sons.“]

Go see the movie Unplanned releasing March 29. The true story of former Planned Parenthood Director, Abby Johnson, who suddenly saw the evils of abortion and became a pro-life advocate. A former abortion doctor has a role in the movie also.

Tell all your friends about Unplanned and encourage mothers to take their teenage daughters and sons. The movie is by the same producers who made God’s Not Dead. It has an R rating only because Hollywood promotes abortion and they’re trying to discourage people from seeing it.

[Tweet “Only God could bring out the movie Unplanned at a time when abortion is in the national discussion. We can work with God in helping publicize it.”]

Only God could bring this movie out at a time when the atrocities of all abortion is the topic of national discourse. We can work with God in helping publicize Unplanned.

[Tweet “An evil world has made killing babies a political issue. Abortion is a criminal issue. Make it your spiritual issue“]

An evil world has made killing babies a political issue. Abortion is a criminal issue. Make it your spiritual issue.

God created each baby in His image with a unique fingerprint and DNA from the moment of conception. Let’s not be satisfied until the world acknowledges this truth.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. — Genesis 50:20 NASB

2. The Mueller Investigation

I know you’re saying, “How could that be used for good?” We’re all so sick of it and it has plagued our president since before he even took office. Now he’s vindicated!

But consider that if there had been no investigation, would we have ever known about the corruption of some in the FBI and Justice Department? Those evil men and women who chose to put their own political interests before the good of the country have been exposed.

And the lies, lies, and more lies of the mainstream liberal media and politicians during this investigation are now boomeranging on them as the Mueller report is released.

Let’s pray for a revival of honesty and truth in our government and that our country can begin to heal. Corruption would continue to be eradicated and God would be brought back into our schools. We would vote into office godly public officials. It starts with we the people!

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.

Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes
    and clever in their own sight.

22 Woe to those . . . who acquit the guilty for a bribe,
    but deny justice to the innocent.”  Isaiah 5:20-21, 23

3. Democrat Presidential Candidates Running on a Platform of Socialism/Communism

I know again, how could this be good? It’s not. Socialism is evil, but the younger generation and school age kids aren’t being taught that in school. This is our chance to educate them on the evils of socialism, which leads to communism and a dictatorship.

[Tweet “We have a choice. Take action or stay silent while Democrat candidates lie about the freebies of socialism without exposing how it ruins countries.”]

Again, we have a choice. Take action or stay silent while these candidates lie about the freebies of socialism without exposing how it ruins countries and lives. Speak out against their platforms and mentor truth to the next generation. If you don’t, who will?

“For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.” 1 Peter 2:15

4. Suffering

It’s hard to find good in suffering. It’s painful. Dreadful. Costly. Debilitating. Destructive. And yet, it happens to most of us at some time in our life. We try to avoid it by taking good care of our bodies, eating healthy, exercising, and taking vitamins. But one day we can’t outrun the diagnosis that stops us in our tracks. We want to deny it, but we can’t.

While in the moment it seems all about us, maybe God actually wants us to use our suffering to help others.

When I first had breast cancer, I wanted to go through surgery and treatment and then move on with my life. The last thing I wanted to do was identify as a breast cancer survivor. Then God took hold of my heart and I wrote the book I wished I had going through my cancer journey, Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey. I’ve had many women tell me it was like God and I were walking along beside them during their breast cancer.

I’ll never know how many women God has used to turn evil cancer into a blessing for other breast cancer sisters.

“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church.” Colossians 1:24

5. Sin

No matter how good we try to be, the evils of sin enter our life often through our wrong choices. But here’s the Good News: at Calvary God traded evil for good. The horrible death of Jesus Christ by evil men, and His ultimate resurrection, ushered in the amazing opportunity of salvation for everyone who chooses to believe in Jesus and receive forgiveness for his or her sins.

23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. 25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, 26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus. Romans 3:23-26 NLT

[Tweet “For believers, evil doesn’t have the last word in our life. No matter how evil the world becomes, we know that this world is not our final home.”]

For believers, evil doesn’t have the last word in our life. No matter how evil the world becomes, we know that this world is not our final home. We must share that Good News with everyone we know who might not be joining us in eternity.

The best way to exemplify the goodness of our Holy God is to let our Light shine in the midst of a dark unholy world.

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life . . . .” Philippians 2:14-16

We each have a choice:

Stay silent about evil or expose it.

Turn our backs on evil or work with God to bring good out of it.

“Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.” Romans 12:21(NLT)

Will you share in the comments where you’ve worked with God to bring good out of what Satan meant for evil.

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

You might also enjoy a slide how I wrote for Crosswalk.com 10 Powerful Gifts to Pass to the Next Generation. 

March 25, 2019
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A Miracle Story of Love, Family, and Restoration

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Ricky praising

Most Sunday mornings, Ricky was in the front row of church, sitting next to his parents Jean and Don. Often Ricky would accompany the worship team by playing the drums, strategically placed for him next to his front-row seat. I’m told that at one time, he joined the praise band on stage.

Ricky and drums

When Dave and I moved to Garden Valley and started attending Crouch Community Church, we didn’t know the history of the Brown family. We did, however, immediately see the love this senior couple had for each other—always holding hands—and for their adult son, Ricky, who occasionally had to have his drumsticks quieted after the music had stopped playing.

You see Ricky was a very special son, and as the church overflowed with family and friends at Ricky’s memorial last week, we learned more about just how special he was. If you have a special person in your life who can’t communicate clearly, or at all, there’s probably a depth of spirit like Ricky displayed in unique ways. God has a way of gifting these special people with love, compassion, and spiritual insight.

[Tweet “If you have a special person in your life who can’t communicate clearly, or at all, there’s probably a depth of spirit”]

Enjoy Ricky’s miracle story, shared at his memorial service, and his family now shares with you:

 

Ricky Lee Brown born August 28, 1956, passed from the arms of his parents to the arms of Jesus on Saturday March 19, 2016, at the age of 59. Ricky left behind . . . for now . . . his parents, Don and Jean Brown, his sisters Sheri, Cindy, and Lindi, and countless family and friends.

Ricky’s life story is one of restoration, the strong bond of a loving family, and the unending miracles of God.

[Tweet “A miracle story of restoration, the strong bond of family, and the unending miracles of God.”]

Ricky is the firstborn, and only son, of Don and Jean Brown. At birth, he only weighed 4 lbs. 10 oz., and it took a month for him to gain enough weight to come home from the hospital. This was the beginning of nine and a half months in and out of hospitals.

During that time, doctors and family members suggested putting Ricky in Nampa State School. Doctors said with Ricky’s health and physical issues, he wouldn’t live past eleven or twelve and would never walk. With the overwhelming advice from doctors and family, Don and Jean went through the court system and made Ricky a ward of the state when he was 8 1/2 months old. It was the most painful thing that Don and Jean had ever done.

They visited Ricky regularly and introduced him to his three sisters Sheri, Cindy, and Lindi. Right from the beginning, Ricky was compassionate. Jean remembers one time when he was in the state home, a baby started to cry. Ricky pulled himself with his arms over to the crib and patted the baby, trying to comfort it.

To everyone’s amazement, Ricky miraculously started walking at age eleven—the age doctors had predicted he wouldn’t live past—and he finally stopped running a persistent high fever. His sister, Cindy, started working at the Nampa State School in her late teens so she could spend more time with Ricky.

In his twenties, the family moved Ricky to a group home in the Boise area as part of a new program to try to teach life and work skills to disabled individuals. After Ricky’s three sisters left home, the Browns were able to visit Ricky more frequently.

Ricky loved classic country music and liked listening to it loud!

He also loved to tear apart anything he could get his hands on—radios, bikes, and in later years, his clothes. He loved to gas up the car, even if it was only to top it off.

[Tweet “Ricky could only put five words together, at most, but he used those words “]

Ricky could only put five words together, at most, but he used those words to ask people: if they were going to work? If they had a payday? And if they were going to church? Ricky’s happy smile and his thumbs up were his trademarks!

smiling RickyRicky thumbs up

Another Miracle

When Ricky was thirty-seven, he became extremely ill while still living in the group home, so Don and Jean made the decision to bring him home. Doctors told the Browns they would just be taking him home to die, but they said, “So be it. He’s our son, and we want him with us.”

By the grace of God and the help of family, they discovered that the current health problems were yeast related. Jean found a book on how to treat yeast with diet, and she became vigilant with Ricky’s diet and nursed him back to health. This same son, who doctors said would not live past eleven or twelve, would never walk, and was sent home at thirty-seven to die, fully recovered from the “terminal” illness! That’s what God, love, and family can do!

Don and Jean couldn’t bear the thought of giving Ricky up again, so he continued to live with them and they started the parenting season all over again. The Lord redeemed the years they lost while Ricky was in group homes, and they had twenty-three glorious years living together as family.

Ricky and sisters

Ricky’s relationship with his sisters and other family members flourished as he became a part of family reunions, jam sessions, weddings, and birthday parties. As a trio, Don, Jean, and Ricky traveled the country playing music and enjoying countless adventures. One of Ricky’s greatest loves was the drums. He had a set in his room and spent hours listening to music and playing along. He also spent hours tearing his drum set apart. He loved smashing cans and taking them to the recycling center for a “payday,” which he promptly put in the offering box at church.

Family picture

Ricky and Don on horse

 

Ricky and Don camping

As Ricky got older, he enjoyed putting together puzzles and sorting coins or Legos. Amazingly, he was able to put puzzles together picture-side down on the table. For someone doctors said wouldn’t live past eleven, and would surely die at thirty-seven, Ricky enjoyed a long life of almost 60 years surrounded by his loving family, friends, and community.

[Tweet ” For someone doctors said wouldn’t live past eleven and would surely die at thirty-seven,”]

Ricky touched many lives with his joyful spirit and his love for Jesus. Just as Jesus said in Matthew 18:3, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,” Ricky was a great example of childlike innocent faith. We know that right now he is enthusiastically enjoying heaven.

*********

The Brown family hopes that Ricky’s miracle story has been a blessing to you, and especially an encouragement to all who have a “Ricky” in their life. If you have a story to share with the Browns, or want to tell them how their sweet restoration story touched you, please leave a comment to encourage them and pray for them as they grieve the loss of their beloved son.

If you received this blog by email, you can comment here.

April 4, 2016
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A Veteran Mother and Mentor

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Today is Veteran’s Day . . . a day we honor all the men and women who risk their lives for our freedom. My husband and son are both veterans and I’m so proud of both of them. As Christians, we know that there is also a spiritual battle taking place all around us . . . one that tries to keep us from the freedom that comes from knowing Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.

Our guest blogger today, Brenda Nixon, is a friend, fellow Leafwood Author, and veteran mom helping Amish children who want to escape the Amish life. Brenda’s story gives quite a different perspective to the romanticized Amish novels that are so popular today. 

Brenda, hubby, and Mosie

Late at night he crept down the steps and out the door of his farm house. He walked along the shadowy country road for two miles conflicted about his decision to leave. Wearing handmade, plain clothes, and with $50 tucked into his pocket, he tearfully made his stealth escape fearing being caught and stopped, yet dreading the painful consequences if he succeeded.

Eighteen-year-old Mosie, born into a New York Amish family, one of twelve children, turned from his life and culture because “there had to be more” yet he’d later say, “I never felt so wrong and so alone.”

Mosie walked it to his English (non-Amish) neighbor’s home and used their telephone to dial another Amish runaway. “Can you get me now?” he whispered. Then he sat and waited until a car made its way down the country lane and quietly inched into the driveway. With a sigh of relief, Mosie climbed in. His contact, David, brought him to Ohio where, one year later, our lives intersected.

My husband and I met Mosie when he tagged along with other “Ex-Men” – as my daughter affectionately called them.  The group consisted of young, polite, hardworking men who’d all left the Amish life and were struggling to adapt to life “outside.”

We learned that Mosie had just received a letter from his Amish parents telling him he was not welcome back, “even for a wedding or a funeral.” He was, in essence, shunned or ostracized by his family now. A teenager with no family contact or support. My heart broke for him.

“If his parents don’t want him, we’ll take him,” I immediately said upon hearing about his rejection.

Within weeks of meeting Mosie – and after much prayer – we suggested to him that we become his English parents. “I’d like that,” he softly replied, his brown cow eyes cast downward.

Mosie moved in and lived with us for a year. During that time I “mothered” him the best I could; teaching him about personal hygiene, car insurance, dating, and other life lessons our teens take for granted. I mentored him in making new friends, tutored him in his GED studies, included him in our family vacation – his first time to see the ocean – paid for his dental care, eye exam, and other childhood necessities. I prayed for and with him, explained Bible verses, and gave him lots of “mom” hugs and verbal affirmation. The year he lived with us wasn’t easy; it was an emotional roller-coaster for everyone in our family.

After getting a job, car, and a place to permanently live, he moved out and onward. Today Mosie lives in North Carolina, is active in an Evangelical church, and has a job, home, and girlfriend. He’s happy. We recently visited him and he proudly introduced us to his new friends as “my English mom and dad.”

My husband smiles. “Now we’re seeing the end result.”

Mosie was my first. Since then God has entrusted me with Harvey, Josh, Levi, Noah, Sarah, Monroe, and more.  Although mentoring each is different as is my level of involvement, God is showing me that I can “Mother” and mentor anywhere, anytime . . . I just need to be available, sensitive to His purpose, and ready to respond. Sometimes it’s as simple as including them for holiday dinners so they’d have a home away from home; others need physical basics like a birth certificate, Social Security number, job, housing, toiletries and English clothing. Many just need a “mom” hug.

Because my experiences being a “Mom” to the ex-Amish – as Marvin first called me – I’ve begun blogging about my learning curve at www.BrendaNixonOnAmish.blogspot.com . I’ve learned there are many different Amish Orders; not all are the same, and they avoid mingling the Orders. Not all offer Rumspringa, which is a stereotype. I’ve learned the Orders are referred to as “higher” or “lower” depending upon their rules and behavior. So far my experiences are with Swartzentrubers – the most insular, punitive, and legalistic sect – the lowest Order and Old Order Amish. And they’re nothing like those in romance fiction books.

For years I’ve earned my living as a parenting speaker and author. I’ve traveled around the country speaking at family and childcare conferences and have penned books but, never did I imagine God would morph me parenting adolescents from an American sub-culture which is highly misunderstood and often idealized. It keeps me on my knees, satisfies my soul, and makes me jump for joy.

Are you in a club, school, church, employed environment or a volunteer position? God has placed you there for a purpose. I encourage you to receive the priceless experiences of “mothering” and mentoring where you are. He may pick you to be a prayer partner for someone, to “mother” a homesick college student, teach a Sunday school class, start a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group, visit and encourage new moms, lead a Bible study, or mentor a new believer in God’s word.

Brenda’s story can be found in Moments of Miracles and Grace (Leafwood Publishers) http://www.amazon.com/Miracles-Moments-Grace-Inspiring-Stories/dp/0891124047. Visit me at www.BrendaNixonOnAmish.blogspot.com, learn a bit, break stereotypes, and leave your comments. Perhaps you might even want to wrap your heart and arms around an ex-Amish.

 

Brenda, Mom to the ex-Amish

November 11, 2013
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Sunny California Day

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Last Saturday I had the pleasure of doing a book signing on Balboa Peninsula which is just a couple blocks from the beach. It was such a beautiful day in February that the bookstore set me up out on the sidewalk to talk to people as they strolled by walking dogs and pushing baby carriages. My best friend joined me and here is a picture of us together.

The motorcycle in the back pulled up while we were sitting there and a young man and his little grey haired mother got off the bike. It was not a common site and I made the comment to her that a mother’s got to do what she’s got to do to spend time with her son. And she said “You’ve got it absolutely right!” My friend then said that she hoped when her son was that age he would be driving her around in a convertible but she would still be wearing a crash helmet too!

It was a fun day people watching and signing a few books. Enjoy

February 19, 2008
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