wanting a baby — Woman to Woman Mentoring

A Child Is Not a Problem to be Solved, But a Person to be Loved!

There once was a young boy whose mother had seven husbands. In a one-night-stand between husbands, she got pregnant. She chose to have her baby and a future husband chose to adopt her son and give him his last name. Do you know who that was? If you saw the movie Jesus Revolution, it was Pastor Greg Laurie!

In last week’s blog, No More Recreational Christianity, I talked about Pastor Jack Hibbs’ testimony of being a survivor of his mother’s botched attempt at aborting him with a coat hanger.

Steve Jobs, Apple founder, was adopted shortly after birth. Jobs’ biological parents weren’t married. He said, “I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was OK and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion.”

Some of you know the testimony my daughter and I share in my book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? It’s the story of my amazing grandson Brandon’s 15-year-old birth mother choosing to give him life so that my daughter and her husband could adopt him at two-weeks, and we could become his forever loving family. This teenage girl actually hid her pregnancy until the 7^th month so she could keep her baby even though he was her second child! Somehow at her young age, she understood the value of life and didn’t impose her poor sexual choices on denying life to the children she conceived.

Many of you might have similar stories in your family. Our testimonies are powerful, and God can use each one to encourage mothers to choose life for their babies.

If you’ve had an abortion, you can ask Jesus for forgiveness and seek Christian counseling to help you with any regrets. You’re also a perfect person to encourage other women to avoid making the same choice. God can use all our experiences for His glory if we let Him.

March for Life 2024!

January is Sanctity of Life month. The 51^st March for Life at the National Mall in Washington DC was on January 19 this year and the snow and cold temperatures didn’t deter thousands from marching for life. I’m not sure how they originally determined January to be the month to honor human life, but maybe it was to start the New Year with everyone remembering how important the gift of life is from God our Creator. A perfect segue from Christmas.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! (Genesis 1:1, 26, 31 NLT).

Why then are so many choosing to destroy this amazing gift of life and how has it become so political? Sadly, many things have become political rather than moral. For example, two moral bills supporting pregnancy centers and pregnant college students passed on January 18 by a Republican majority Congress, while every Democrat present voted immorally against them.

How could anyone with a conscience or heart vote against helping pregnant women and innocent babies? But Democrats vote in unison against the sanctity of life consistently. Could it be because one of their largest donors is Planned Parenthood, the biggest industry dedicated to murdering babies?!

The Pregnant Students’ Rights Act passed by Congress ensures that universities and colleges must provide information to pregnant students about rights, accommodations, and resources available. Congresswoman Ashley Hinson (R-IA), who authored the bill, said, “It’s unacceptable that pregnant women on college campuses are often pressured to have an abortion. My bill ensures young women are empowered to choose life and create the best future for themselves and their child.”

“Pregnant college students should never feel like abortion is their only option,” said Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL). “The Republican-led House took a huge step in empowering women to choose life by passing this legislation. I encourage my Senate colleagues to follow suit and work to ensure young women are aware of all the resources available to them and their babies while pursuing their education.”

“This vote should have been an easy one for every politician who claims to care about women’s rights, and those in the Democratic Party who voted to keep women in the dark about their legal rights should be ashamed,” said Students for Life Action (SFLAction) President Kristan Hawkins. “Still, this is a great day for the Pro-Life Generation as years of campus advocacy has led to this historic moment – the first SFLAction-inspired federal bill passing the House,” she added.

The Parenting Women and Families Act prohibits the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) from finalizing, implementing, or enforcing a Biden Administration proposed change in regulations that would essentially cut funding for pregnancy centers.

“We applaud House pro-life leaders for their work in ensuring resources and funding are made available for women, children, and families in need,” stated Carol Tobias, president of National Right to Life. “In a post-Roe America, it is vitally important that resources are made available to support mothers and their babies both before and after birth.”

Tobias continued, “In longstanding narrow-mindedness, every Democrat present voted wrong and failed to support these reasonable measures because the bills do not promote abortion. Once again, leaders in the Democratic Party have shown their allegiance to the abortion industry and its extremism.”

I wanted to watch the National March for Life on TV, but the only channel Dave found it on was a Catholic channel. CBN carried it too, but he found the Catholic channel first and as I listened to their discussion after the march, it was so encouraging to hear the commentators and guests, even young children and college students, talk about what they’re doing on their school campuses to promote life for every baby.

Biden who professes to be a “good Catholic,” is the most pro-death President in my lifetime. So why would a Catholic President fight against every attempt to protect the unborn, even trying to pass bills that remove the tax status and funding from Pregnancy Care Centers? Pro-Abortion Biden has weaponized the legislature to try to codify abortion up to birth. Barbarianism. What Catholic or Christian even thinks of such an atrocity? Only someone who has sold their soul to the devil for power and money. The abortion industry, aka killing babies, is lucrative to everyone involved.

Herod in Matthew 2:13-18 had all the boys two-years-old or younger slaughtered trying to kill the newborn king he had heard was born. Baby Jesus’ life was spared.

Pharaoh thought the Egyptians were multiplying too fast and he might lose power, so he had all the baby boys murdered at birth. When that wasn’t working, he had the babies drowned in the Nile, but baby Moses survived that genocide attempt and was adopted.

Also, in the Old Testament pagan child sacrifices were made to Molek. “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molek, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the Lord.” Lev. 18:21

We falsely think we’re such a civilized culture today that we would never let something like the above scenarios happen. Yet millions of baby sacrifices have occurred in their mother’s womb as the babies are horrifically poisoned, chemically burned, crushed, suctioned, injected, or impaled, and often pulled out piece by piece. Even with the end of Roe v Wade, some states like New Jersey allow the infanticide sacrifice of babies through all nine months. Barbarism in the 21^st century.

The next major battle is the abortion pill as the Supreme Court reviews a case involving access to mifepristone, which the FDA has approved. Justices are set to review a ruling by a federal appeals court to allow distribution of this abortion pill indiscriminately by mail, essentially performing home abortions. Many say the abortion pill is four times more dangerous than surgical abortion and girls and women end up in emergency rooms. The drug blocks nutrients and starves the baby to death.

Our secular culture and ruling government continue to spread the lie that babies are expendable if they’re inconvenient or unwanted. Kamala Harris is visiting school campuses touting the lie that abortion is a woman’s Constitutional right. She shows her ignorance of the Constitution.

After telling his own abortion-sparing life story when his unmarried parents chose to give him life for which he thanked them, House Speaker Mike Johnson pointed out in his March for Life speech that the Constitution and Bill of Rights says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Johnson continued, “All men are created equal, not born equal.” Equality originates in the womb, not at birth. Then he affirmed, “Our rights come from God, not the government. Your value is given to you by your Creator.”

Christians Must Change a Culture of Murder to a Culture of Life

One of the March for Life speakers said, “Abortion is like hiring a hitman. It’s murder of a human life. There’s no other way to consider it.”

Speaker Johnson reminded us of others before us, like President Lincoln and Susan B Anthony, who changed public opinion and encouraged us that we can do the same.

Abortion is the only weapon the Democrats have in the 2024 election because they don’t have any accomplishments to brag about since they’ve done nothing in the past three years except try to turn our free country into a Marxist dictatorship.

Pro-lifers, conservatives, Republicans, Christians need to change our approach in discussing abortion because what we’re doing right now isn’t reaching the majority of people, especially women. We’re characterized as not caring about women’s “rights.” I think the March for Life has realized that as their theme this year is “With Every Woman, for Every Child.”

Pastor Greg Laurie shared his testimony and gave the closing prayer at the March for Life before the marchers took off walking. He also wrote an article Why Pro-Life Is the Only Biblical Position. I hope you’ll take a moment to read it now. He speaks with conviction as a Bible-preaching pastor and a life spared for a purpose. He said it took a while to realize his life was planned by God, as is every life, even those who were not given a chance to breathe.

In the article, Pastor Laurie said, “Our culture tries to dehumanize these babies with rewordings and euphemisms. They call murder ‘terminating a pregnancy’ and they label unborn babies as ‘fetuses,’ ’embryos,’ ‘globs of cells,’ ‘uterine contents,’ or ‘products of conception.’ But the reality is that they are innocent children, made in the image of God, and they have every right to live. If you don’t agree with that then, frankly, you disagree with the Bible.”

Sadly, many churches are moving away from the Bible and that never ends well.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. —Psalm 139:13–16 NLT

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations. —Jeremiah 1:5 NLT

Pastor Greg points out God says, “I formed you in your mother’s womb.” God doesn’t say, ‘I waited until you were born to have a plan for you, because you were not yet really a human, but only a mass of tissue.’”

God has a plan for every child, even before birth, but He lets us make our own choices. Sadly, many people today are choosing pro-death instead of pro-life. This isn’t helping women who most certainly will be emotionally, mentally, or physically damaged from taking the life of their child. Silently enabling this choice instead of sharing the truth with love and grace is not biblical.

We as a church must never stop encouraging people to choose God because God changes everything in a person’s life. Before that, they’re not going to listen to Scripture because they either don’t believe in God or don’t care what the Bible says. They’re going to live life their own way. That’s really the root cause of abortion and all evil.

Churches Must Get Involved to Save Human Lives

It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a sermon on the sanctity of life. January 21, 2024, Sanctity of Life Sunday, would’ve been a perfect day to give one. But here’s what we can do . . .

We can use our vote. Pastor Laurie writes, “To refrain from voting is irresponsible and bad stewardship. Scripture tells us, ‘To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin’ (James 4:17 NKJV). We should vote for the candidates and policies that best reflect the values we find in Scripture, and that includes voting pro-life.”
MyFaithVotes.org provides voter guides for how to vote as Christians biblically in upcoming elections.
The church was always supposed to be the place where those in need could go to get help and praise God there are Christian operated pregnancy resource centers across the United States that help the mother and child before and after birth for free. We can find one and offer to volunteer or donate.
Start pro-life prayer groups at your church.
Attend local prayer rallies for life.
If you have a testimony, share it.
In my book Mentoring for All Seasons, I have chapters on how to mentor young women considering abortion and those who have had abortions.
Don’t apologize for being Pro-Life. Remind everyone you’re in a discussion with on this topic that they were given life. Ask if they’re glad their mother chose life? No one has the right to deny another person the same opportunity.

This truly is our generation’s human rights movement. We’re making progress with Roe v Wade being overturned, but the battle isn’t over in the states. The battle won’t end until abortion, the killing of unborn babies, is unthinkable. A civilization is measured by how it treats its most vulnerable.

“Let’s all pray and ask God to send a spiritual awakening to our nation—we really need it.”—Pastor Greg Laurie

Please leave a comment here. I appreciate hearing your thoughts and I always reply.

January 22, 2024

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Three Lessons Beyond the Story of His Only Son!

Last week, Hubby Dave and I saw the latest movie from Angel Studios, His Only Son. I was thrilled that just like Jesus Revolution, this new Christian movie stayed in theaters long after its Pre-Easter release and the five day expected showing. That’s because many Christians poured into theaters to support His Only Son.

When I looked over at Dave during the movie to see if the sounds he was making meant he was falling asleep, I discovered to the contrary, he was crying. The story of Abraham, Sarah, and Isaac brought my tenderhearted husband to tears more than once.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I don’t want to give away too many details, but it’s the familiar story of God asking Abraham to sacrifice his long-awaited son, Isaac, born to elderly parents. The son that God had told Abraham would bring descendants outnumbering the stars in the sky. It’s a beautifully filmed movie with superb acting as it brings the Bible story of Genesis 22 to life. If you haven’t seen it and it’s still in your theaters, I encourage you to go, enjoy, and maybe cry at a father’s love for his son, but his even greater love for the Father in Heaven who Abraham trusted and obeyed, even when asked to perform a seemingly impossible sacrifice.

Interwoven into the story was a brief glimpse of Sarah’s servant Hagar when Abraham and Sarah attempted to go ahead of God. In today’s blog, I want to fill in some of the blanks with lessons from the story of Hagar and Ishmael, discussed in conversation during the movie if you listen closely, but not depicted.

We can learn from the consequences of Abraham and Sarah’s poor decision about using Hagar to circumvent God’s plan. Consequences still felt in the Middle East today.

Who Was Hagar?

When we first meet Hagar in the Bible, she’s an Egyptian maidservant to Sarai (later called Sarah), the wife of Abram (later called Abraham). Sarai was infertile and desperately wanted a child. God had told Abram that he would have an heir, a son, and yet as time passed the aging couple still didn’t have a baby (Gen. 15:2-5).

Mistakenly, Sarai thought the Lord had kept her from having a baby so she came up with her own plan to give Abram a family. (Gen. 16:2) In those days, a maidservant had no rights and was required to comply with whatever her owners told her to do. When her barren and desperate mistress Sarai decides to use Hagar as a surrogate to provide her husband Abram with a child, Hagar has no option but to obey. Abram agreed and slept with Hagar and she became pregnant.

The movie alludes to this, but tastefully never shows Abram and Hagar in any sexual scenes, not even an embrace. This seems like an odd practice to us today, but it was actually an ancient custom in biblical times to ensure the birth of a male heir.

What Happened Next to Hagar?

When Hagar learned she was carrying Abram’s child, she felt superior to Sarai and the Bible says she “began to despise her mistress” (Gen. 16:4). Maybe Hagar was upset that her mistress forced her husband on her, or she felt rejected that Abram didn’t treat her as a wife, and she took her frustration out on Sarai. Whatever the reason, she wrongly thought that her pregnancy empowered her to treat Sarai with contempt.

When the relationship between the two women deteriorated and became hostile, Sarai complained to her husband. Abram told her that this had been Sarai’s idea in the first place and Hagar was hers to do with what she wanted. He wasn’t going to get involved with their dispute. Sarai took that as permission to mistreat Hagar, so pregnant Hagar ran away into the desert. But what she didn’t expect was an encounter with God, which we don’t see in the movie.

⁷The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. ⁸And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered. ⁹Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” Gen. 16:7-9

The angel of the Lord also told her she would have a son and name him, “Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery.” (Gen. 16:11)

So obediently, Hagar returned, gave birth to her son, and stayed on as Sarai’s maidservant. Sixteen years later, Sarai, renamed by God, Sarah, finally had her own miracle son as God had promised, but like any older brother, Ishmael started teasing his little toddler half-brother Isaac. Sarah was having none of this and demanded that her husband, now called Abraham, send Hagar and her son away . . . this time permanently. The movie eludes during a conversation that this took place, but we don’t see it happening. We hear about Ishmael, but never see him.

The child [Isaac] grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. ⁹But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, ¹⁰and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.” (Gen. 21:8-10)

Abraham, now the father of both sons, protested but to his surprise, God intervened and incredulously told him to let them go. Listen in the movie for when Abraham discusses why he let them both go.

¹¹The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. ¹²But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring^[^a^] will be reckoned. ¹³I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.” (Gen. 21:11-13)

Reluctantly, Abraham agreed and sent Hagar and Ishmael out into the desert with food and water.

¹⁴Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. (Gen. 21:14)

God has lessons for us to learn from every biblical story and He tells us the story of Hagar in the Bible so we can apply what she learned to our own lives. Here are three important life application lessons.

Lesson #1: God Never Rejects Us

Hagar must have lamented her painful mistreatment and abandonment. Why was all this happening to her? When her hurt and despair sent her fleeing into the desert the first time, she was surprised but also very relieved and blessed when God met her there. She realized that even in her lowly position in life, she was important to God and He hadn’t rejected or forgotten her.

It was hard to hear God wanted her to go back to Sarai and endure abuse, but then God gave her a name for her son, Ishmael. God said He would even multiply Ishmael’s descendants. Wow, that was quite a promise, which God did fulfill in later years.

Hagar agreed to God’s plan and called the Lord, “The God who sees me, for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Gen. 16:13)

God heard her cries of affliction. Amazingly, a slave girl was the first recorded appearance of God face to face in Scripture. Others had heard His voice or seen visions, but here was God in person.

Like Hagar, when it seems like others are rejecting you, God sees and hears you. Don’t let rejection define you; allow it to refine you. Hagar had the confidence and security in God to humbly return to Sarai and Abram and fulfill her role in biblical history.

Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me! (Ps. 66:20)

The Lord will not reject his people; he will not abandon his special possession. (Ps. 94:14 NLT)

Lesson #2 God is Near to the Brokenhearted

When Abraham sent Hagar and her son Ismael into the desert, it looked like they would surely die when the supplies Abraham had given them were exhausted. Now her precious son who God had given her and even named would starve to death. It was too much for her to bear. She couldn’t watch as he curled up in a fetal positon under a tree, but she couldn’t block out his starving moans and wails.

¹⁵When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. ¹⁶Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she^[^b^] began to sob. (Gen. 21:15-16)

But, what was she hearing now? Could it be a second encounter with God?! Yes, He had heard the cries of her son and asked her what was wrong? The Angel of the Lord spoke to this distressed mother yet again and reassured her not to be full of fear or sadness. Just as He had promised, God reaffirmed that her son’s legacy would be a great nation.

¹⁷God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. ¹⁸Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.” (Gen. 21:17-18)

When we’re in deep despair, our tendency often is to shut out the world, and sometimes that includes shutting out God. But God is the one who understands our distress like no human can. Sometimes He will put people in our life and speak through them to comfort us, but what He longs for us to do is bend our ear towards Him and listen. Let His presence comfort you with the hope that He’s going through this with you and He always has a plan if we open our eyes to see our opportunities and listen to the wisdom He whispers in our prayer time.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Ps. 34:18)

Lesson #3 God’s Plan Is Always the Best One to Follow

When Hagar opened crying eyes, to her astonishment there was a well of water in the middle of the desert. Only God! She ran to fill her wineskin and gave her thirsty son a refreshing drink.

¹⁹Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. (Gen. 21:19)

Bravely, Hagar believed God and trusted that even as a single mom rejected and stranded in the middle of nowhere, if God said it was so, then she would trust Him and obey again. God was faithful to His promise.

²⁰God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. ²¹While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt. (Gen 21:20-21)

While we often focus on Abraham and Sarah, God has a powerful lesson in the story of Hagar. Through no fault of her own, she became entrenched in the couple’s contrived plan to fulfill God’s promise themselves instead of waiting for God’s perfect timing and plan. We can’t outsmart or outdo God. His plans always are for good and will prevail, but we’ll pay a price when our impetuous and prideful thinking is that we know best.

²²The Scriptures say that Abraham had two sons, one from his slave wife and one from his freeborn wife.^[^a^] ²³The son of the slave wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God’s promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God’s own fulfillment of his promise. (Gal. 4:22-23)

Just as God promised, Ishmael became a great nation but to this day, his descendants continue to be in conflict with the nation founded by his half-brother Isaac.

Everyday Brave Hagar

I include Hagar in Everyday Brave: Living Courageously as a Woman of Faith because she didn’t let the hard life that she encountered defeat her. She had a personal experience with God and He protected and provided for her. She courageously understood that God was the One she could depend on and trust. He would make a way when circumstances seemed impossible.

Even when we don’t see God face-to-face like Hagar did, or maybe have trouble feeling His presence, our faith assures us of the truth that we’re never alone. God has promised to never leave or forsake us even when others disappoint or even abandon us. God is always just a prayer away.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5b)

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April 17, 2023

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If You’re Pro-life, You’re Pro-Woman!

I woke up the morning of January 24 excited and eager to watch the 2020 March for Life on TV. For the first time in the forty-seven years of this annual march, a President, our President Trump, was going to speak in person! A bold and brave step in the current political climate.

I made my coffee and turned on the TV, but to my dismay, no reception. Looking out the window, I saw snow on our cable Dish, and even though we cover it with a trash bag, sometimes the weight of the snow or ice inhibits the DISH from operating properly.

Knowing how important this was to me, hubby put on his snow clothes and boots, grabbed the brush to clear the DISH, and plodded out through the snow in what was now rain. A true act of love!

The TV screen finally came alive, but now what channel would be broadcasting this momentous event? Surely, no mainstream media since they were too busy championing the impeachment trial.

Again, hubby to the rescue located the march on C-Span just as the program was starting. Then with an opening prayer, a welcome from pro-life Vice President Pence and his wife streamed in from Italy where they’re meeting with the Pope, President Trump strode onto the stage to address the tens of thousands of marchers ready to take up their Pro-Life signs and march for the right to life of the unborn.

[Tweet “One sign at the March for Life was especially poignant as it portrayed the birth of Jesus in a manger with the words “An Unplanned Pregnancy Saved Us All!””]

One sign was especially poignant as it portrayed the birth of Jesus in a manger with the words “An Unplanned Pregnancy Saved Us All!” We know that Mary and Joseph didn’t plan that pregnancy, but God did as He plans each and every pregnancy!

As President Trump greeted the crowd, he reiterated how proud he was to stand with the advocates for life to “protect the right of every child, born and unborn, to fulfill their God-given potential.”

A few of his remarks:

[Tweet “Every child is a precious and sacred gift from God. Together, we must protect, cherish, and defend the dignity and the sanctity of every human life.” President Trump at the March for Life”]

“All of us here today understand an eternal truth: Every child is a precious and sacred gift from God. Together, we must protect, cherish, and defend the dignity and the sanctity of every human life.”

“When we see the image of a baby in the womb, we glimpse the majesty of God’s creation.”

“As the Bible tells us, each person is wonderfully made.”

“Together, we are the voice for the voiceless.”

What If You’ve Had an Abortion or Know Someone Who Has?

[Tweet “If you’ve had an abortion, please know that God loves you and is ready to forgive if you only ask. ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent. Luke 24:27 NLT”]

If you’ve had an abortion, please know that God loves you and is ready to forgive if you only ask. ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent. Luke 24:27 NLT

I’m sure it hurts to hear and read about pro-life speeches and marches when you don’t know what to do with your pain and sorrow. I encourage you to share your story with a trustworthy person. Someone who will pray with you and keep your confidence. It’s healing to talk about your feelings and not let them fester in your heart where they can lead to bitterness and self-deprecating efforts to soothe remorse.

If you know someone who has had an abortion, offer to be a listening ear. Pray with and for her. Assist her in finding the help and support she needs to experience the peace and forgiveness her heart craves.

Life Empowers: Pro-Life is Pro-Woman

The March for Life chose the above theme this year because 2020 marks one hundred years since the 19^th Amendment giving women the inalienable right to vote.

[Tweet “From the beginning of time, God empowered women with the incredible ability and responsibility of bringing new life into the world. Eve, whose name means “life-giving” was the first mother through which the entire world populated.”]

But from the beginning of time, God empowered women with the incredible ability and responsibility of bringing new life into the world. Eve, whose name means “Life-giving,” was the first mother from which the entire world would populate. Eve also means “Mother of All Who Have Life.”

[Tweet “Only a woman is empowered by God with the capability and privilege of carrying a human life in her womb.”]

Only a woman is empowered by God with the capability and privilege of carrying a human life in her womb. To feel her baby as it grows. The first kick. The first hiccup. The first rollover. That is our amazing joy as women to bring another person into the world. New creations, each one designed by God unique with its own DNA, fingerprint, and purpose.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Psalm 139:13-14 NLT

God picks the time of each child’s conception! Sometimes His timing coincides with our desires, but like everything God does, it’s not always on our terms or times. That’s why He’s God and we’re not.

[Tweet “With the advent of ultrasounds, unborn babies may be voiceless, but they’re not invisible and their heartbeats are clearly heard.”]

With the advent of ultrasounds, unborn babies may be voiceless, but they’re not invisible and their heartbeats are clearly heard. It’s the Devil’s lie that these aren’t precious little human beings to be incubated and nourished in their mommy’s tummy until they burst forth with their first breath and cry. Both bodies intertwined from the moment of conception, bonding even before birth. That’s how God designed the mystery and majesty of creation.

Abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women.

[Tweet “Abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women.”]

The case for abortion is based on lies and manipulation. Abortion has become a cash cow funding industries and organizations like Planned Parenthood who lie to women and tell them their baby isn’t really human and that they won’t feel a thing. The truth is that they will feel their searing loss for the rest of their lives. Those women who sadly tout and brag about how liberating their abortions have been are trying to convince themselves that they didn’t really eliminate their own children.

What Can We Do?

As Christians, we need to remember that God doesn’t conform to man’s laws!

We can’t stand idly by and do nothing or think abortion isn’t our issue because it might not affect us personally or it’s “legal.” As I mentioned in last week’s blog post, apathy is the antithesis of the Christian life.

We need to let what breaks God’s heart, break our hearts.

I know you may have other good causes that you’re giving your time and energy too, but I ask: What could have been more important than saving the life and future of the 61,000,000 babies aborted? The purpose and plans God had for these baby boys and girls?

You don’t have to walk in a march or carry a sign to be an advocate for life.

As speakers pointed out in the Walk for Life, we have the right and obligation to vote for this Human Rights Issue. With our empowered vote, we choose government legislatures and presidents who don’t just talk about changing the status quo, but are willing to risk their political future and reputation to save the next generation of babies.

Who will go up against the liberal left?

Who will use the power we give him or her to not just maintain limits on abortion, but abolish it completely?

[Tweet “No woman or man should have the right to make a choice that ends in savagely taking a life and calling it legal.”]

No woman or man should have the right to make a choice that ends in savagely taking a life and calling it legal.

I challenge you that silence is compliance. Not taking a stand for right is inadvertently taking a stand for wrong.

[Tweet “Silence is compliance. Not taking a stand for right is inadvertently taking a stand for wrong.”]

I applaud each of you with a burden in your heart for the babies tortured, dismembered, and horrifically burned every second of every day because Satan spreads the lie that an unborn child does not have the inalienable right to life.

For everyone reading this blog, and I know there will be many unsubscribes, I pray that God speaks to your soul with what He wants you to do. Because there is no denying there will be a price to pay for this bloodstain on our nation as God asks: I saved you, why aren’t you saving the children?

Our Family’s Adoption Story

I have an amazing grandson because fifteen years ago a pregnant 15-year-old girl chose life for her second baby, while she was still raising her 18-month-old first baby and attending high school! She managed to keep her pregnancy a secret from her mom for seven months, when fifteen years ago abortion wasn’t an option at that late stage of pregnancy. Instead, she delivered a beautiful baby boy. My daughter and son-in-law, who suffered from infertility, blessed our family by adopting him and we became his forever family.

While I rejoice and praise God over that young girl’s choice to give her baby, my grandson, an opportunity to live, I cry over the millions of babies who never had the same opportunity.*

“We cannot know what our citizens yet unborn will achieve. The dreams they will imagine. The masterpieces they will create. The discoveries they will make. But we know this: every life brings love into this world, every child brings joy to a family. Every person is worth protecting. And above all, we know that every human soul is divine and every human life, born and unborn, is made in the holy image of Almighty God.” President Donald J. Trump

Yet you brought me safely from my mother’s womb
and led me to trust you at my mother’s breast.
¹⁰I was thrust into your arms at my birth.
You have been my God from the moment I was born. Psalm 22:9-10 NLT

You can watch President Trump speaking at the 2020 March for Life and/or read the transcript at LifeSitenews.com.

Read two of our daughters’ infertility stories and about my grandson’s adoption in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?

In my book Mentoring for All Seasons, there’s a section on “Pregnancy—Planned and Unplanned” with tips and Scripture on how to mentor a pregnant woman, Teen Mom, and “Post-Abortion Recovery” section for mentoring a woman who has had an abortion.

In Everyday Brave, the chapter on “Brave Mothers” includes a testimony of Kathleen, a brave teen mom who chose to keep and raise her baby, who twenty-eight years later is a digital media arts teacher. In the chapter “Brave Believer,”
Penelope tells her brave story of being an RN Circulator in operating rooms and refusing to participate in abortion procedures even though it could jeopardize her career and she received much ridicule from her peers.

January 27, 2020

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In Today’s Culture, I Might Have Been Aborted

“I wouldn’t have had you if I knew I would be passing on health issues to you!” My mom said to me.

As states are rapid-fire passing abortion laws that allow babies to be aborted for any “health” reason, even up through and after delivery, my mother’s words echo in my mind. I was just a young girl and I tried to frame her words in love. But I wondered then, as I do now, why wouldn’t she want me? Were her words coming from a point of regret or concern about my future? She’s gone now and I never asked.

[Tweet “Ultrasounds have made strides in helping to determine when a heart starts beating as new parent’s excitedly watch the development of their baby in mommy’s tummy.”]

Ultrasounds have made strides in helping to determine when a heart starts beating as new parents excitedly watch the development of their baby in mommy’s tummy. There are so many benefits of ultrasounds, especially in letting hesitant mommy’s know their baby is not just tissue or a fetus, but a kicking, smiling, yawning, sleeping, squirming baby boy or girl.

Ultrasounds and amniocentesis also detect early developmental issues. Often a baby’s life can be saved by intrauterine surgery or detecting that the mommy needs to be on bedrest.

[Tweet “Before ultrasounds detecting problems babies would have a chance at life. Today doctors encourage fearful parents to abort “and try again.””]

But these same tests can detect problems that can’t be treated until the baby is born, or maybe not treatable ever.

Before intrauterine technology, those babies would have a chance at life. Today doctors might encourage fearful parents to “abort and try again.” Even though we read story after story of the doctor and the tests being wrong and a beautiful baby boy or girl surprises everyone. A baby almost killed because he or she might not be perfect.

I would’ve been one of those imperfect babies.

Today’s technology could probably detect that I would have a spine with severe debilitating congenital scoliosis. Doctors might have told my first-time parents that without treatment I would be deformed and why not “get rid of me and try again for a better baby next time.” But my mom was pregnant before ultrasounds. Parents had to anxiously wait until their baby was born to even know if they were having a boy or a girl. So I lived.

But as I grew, my mother continually told me to stand up straight and had me standing for hours with my back against the wall hoping my spine would straighten on its own. But it only got worse until doctors told her if I didn’t have surgery to put a metal rod down my spine or be put in traction and wear a plaster cast from just under my ears to my hip bones until I finished growing, my left arm would eventually drag the ground. There was no way to correct the S-shaped curvature, only stop it from getting any worse and I would endure a lifetime of back pain.

She probably repeated in her mind, “I shouldn’t have had you.”

In Today's Culture, I Could've Been Aborted Because I had a deformed spine

At Christmas with my younger sister. The plaster cast you see around my neck went all the way down to my hip bones. I’m bracing myself with my left hand because I could barely sit up.

Or maybe she would’ve started experiencing many of her “health issues,” and when she became pregnant, she didn’t want to pass them on to me. I would be better off not being born. Aborted.

When I had breast cancer three times after she was gone, had she been alive, she might have said again, “I shouldn’t have had you.”

But praise God . . . she did have me.

[Tweet “God had a plan for me like He has for every one of His creations and none of us are perfect.”]

God had a plan for me like He has for every one of His creations and none of us are perfect.

Mothers often express in delight, “My baby is perfect as they count ten toes and fingers, four limbs, two eyes, two ears, one nose and a mouth, but no one really knows what awaits each of us. And that’s a good thing. If we knew a two-year old was going to get cancer, would we not want to have those two precious years with our child? What about if doctors could predict asthma or allergies? Would those be considered enough “health issues” to abort?

Now that they can detect Down’s Syndrome and cleft palates, should those darling children not have a chance at life? Savagely, doctor’s give parents that choice today.

[Tweet “Every life has a purpose, and while we’d like our life to be pure joy and happiness, we’re all going to have challenges.”]

Every life has a purpose, and while we’d like our life to be pure joy and happiness, we’re all going to have challenges. God’s plan is for all His children to be a part of human history for however long or short our time on earth or how imperfect our bodies or minds.

It’s not our call to play God.

[Tweet “It is not our call to play God.”]

Here’s some ways God has used my less than perfect body.

I had a beautiful baby girl, who could’ve possibly had scoliosis, but she doesn’t. I tried so hard to have her while I struggled with infertility and not once did I ever think, “Maybe God doesn’t want me to have a baby.” I love being a mother.
My daughter has three beautiful children. I love being a grandmother.
I have a godly husband who is devoted to Jesus and to me. I love being a wife.
I had the opportunity to start the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry over twenty years ago and only God knows the number of women throughout the world who have been, and continue to be, blessed by mentoring relationships. I love being About His Work.
At the age of 50, I became an author! September 2019 will be the release of my twentieth Christian nonfiction book, all written to the glory of God. I love being an author.
I’ve had the opportunity to speak and encourage women throughout the United States and Canada about how to live a life for Christ. I love speaking and mentoring.

It’s true I’ve had, and continue to have, many health issues, but I’m so glad my mother did choose to give me life.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

Psalm 139:13-14

In a recent post Don’t Just Cry About It, Do Something, I said one of the things we can do is put a face to the inhumanity of abortion by telling our stories. I’m sure all of you have a story to tell too of someone, maybe you, who might’ve been aborted today. Share with us your story in the comments and tell someone else today! You might just be saving an unborn life.

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*Opening picture is from the Christian Conservative

February 18, 2019

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Some Women Are Still Like Eve: Listening to the Serpent

Have you ever wondered why Satan approached Eve and not Adam in the Garden of Eden? Why didn’t he go up to Adam and start challenging him about whether or not God really said they shouldn’t eat from the tree of wisdom? Let’s review Genesis 3:2-10 NLT:

The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

²“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. ³“It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”

⁴“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. ⁵“God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

⁶The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. ⁷At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

⁸When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. ⁹Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

¹⁰He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

[Tweet “When the shrewd serpent, AKA Satan, showed Eve how beautiful and delicious the fruit was, and she wouldn’t need God, Eve caved. “]

When the shrewd serpent, AKA Satan, showed Eve how beautiful and delicious the fruit was, and she wouldn’t need God, Eve caved. Husbands want to please their wives. Since that day, the Devil has made it his mission to get women and men to choose evil over good, Satan’s ways, not God’s ways. Already owning the world, Satan goes after the Christians he loses who turn from their evil ways, repent from their sins, and choose to follow Jesus Christ. Not deterred, Satan still dangles that forbidden fruit in the form of lies, sin, temptations, pride . . . anything that makes us feel we don’t need God, just like when he tempted Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-10).

Jesus used Scripture to fend off Satan. If we’re not grounded in God’s Word, we’re easily deceived and distracted by the Deceiver, the Ruler of this world. Mothers have a huge influence over their children’s beliefs: what they watch on television, the video games they play, the amount of time they spend on electronics, the friends they keep. A real and present danger is the lure of the secular world on women, and thus goes the next generation.

Since November 8 when the progressive liberals lost the presidential election, they have desperately tried to delegitimatize Donald Trump’s presidency. Refusing to accept defeat, they plotted a “Women’s March” in Washington DC the day after Inauguration Day. Supposedly, these women were marching for “women’s rights,” which were never clearly defined.

The rally featured speeches from activist Gloria Steinem, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards, Democrat Elizabeth Warren (a fierce supporter of Hillary Clinton wearing a Planned Parenthood scarf) Madonna, actresses Ashley Judd, America Ferrara, and Scarlett Johansson, and director Michael Moore, among others.

Michael Moore . . . what does he have to do with women’s rights? Nothing! Then a group of largely women senators and other politicians took the stage.

In an article by Meghan Keneally, Good Morning America, titled “Politicians, Activists Rally Crowd at Women’s March in Washington,” Keneally noted: “With the timing and sheer number of people involved, it comes as little surprise that there are various causes attached to the march, which was largely billed as a demonstration in support of women’s rights and civil rights but for many has clear political undertones connected to the inauguration of Donald Trump.

[Tweet “This was obviously not a march for all women’s rights, since they barred all Pro-life groups!”]

This was obviously not a march for all women’s rights, since they barred all Pro-life groups!

This was also not a grassroots movement by a grandmother in Hawaii like the fake news media would have you believe. This was a well-planned Democrats’ attack aimed at President Donald Trump. So only Satan, the father of lies, could lure women, many bringing daughters, into marching for “women’s rights,” when it was actually political activists needing a big crowd to support their own agendas.

[Tweet “So Satan, the father of lies, lured women, many bringing daughters, into marching for “women’s rights,” when it was actually political activists needing a big crowd to support their own agendas.”]

Even when asked why they were marching, most women quoted political election rhetoric, liberal media points, or didn’t have a clear answer. Satan’s trademark is confusion.

Women were the pawns of political interest groups, while supposedly protesting Donald Trump’s treatment of women. Ironic!

Maybe the women missed the fact that Donald Trump appointed Kellyanne Conway as the first woman presidential Campaign Manager and now Counselor and Advisor to the President? She broke a glass ceiling.

Some said they marched because of something Trump said over eleven years ago and publically asked forgiveness for and I wrote a blog about. Instead of granting him forgiveness, they knitted pink hats as idols to memorialize the vulgar word they’re protesting, and now demeaning slang words for women are freely rolling off their lips, yes including their young daughters. And Satan laughs!

[Tweet “women knitted pink hats to memorialize the vulgar word they’re protesting and now the demeaning word for women is freely rolling off all their lips, yes including their young daughters. “]

So hypocritical when many at the march were yelling vulgarities, had obscenities on signs, and were listening to someone like Madonna give a profanity-laced, vulgar talk saying she thought about blowing up the White House. Does anyone see the dichotomy there? These women brought their daughters to hear Madonna who demeans women as sex symbols in her songs and costumes, has a filthy mouth, and talks of bombing the White House! She is a disgrace to womanhood and not a role model for our daughters. And the liberal anti-Trump Hollywood “stars” act in R rated movies exploiting women, participate in explicit sex scenes with other actors, and use vulgar language in movies and call it “art.”

Maybe they think President Trump is a racist? Really, what has he said that’s racist? He wants to help the inner cities and protect America from terrorists and illegals invading our country. He has many black pastors advising and supporting him. Were they marching against that?

Oh maybe they were marching against possibly losing the right to murder their babies, even up to the day before delivery? Ah Satan the tempter again: Did God really say life starts at conception? Did God really say thou shalt not kill?

[Tweet “Sex is a right and a choice, but it is not a right or choice to kill an unborn baby for convenience, pleasure, or wealth”]

Abortion never was or will be a woman’s right. Sex is a right and a choice, but it is not a right or choice to kill an unborn baby for convenience, pleasure, or wealth. Only Satan would tell a woman abortion was a right. But every unborn baby does have a right to life!

Could they be marching about losing Obamacare, because they might lose free abortions or birth control while the cost is skyrocketing and strapping families, businesses, and doctors are overwhelmed with paperwork? There will be a replacement for Obamacare and there are safe clinics that help women get medical checkups and provide help with pregnancies. It’s Satan’s lie that women will lose health benefits without Planned Parenthood.

Exactly what real “rights” were they marching for?

Women love getting together for a cause and climbed on planes, buses, and vans, but listening to them shout obscenities, wave signs with vulgarities, and denounce a newly inaugurated president wasn’t unifying. It isn’t God’s way. It is Satan whispering in their ears: God’s ways don’t work in today’s culture. Your rights are more important! God’s irrelevant in 2017. You don’t need Him. It’s all about you.

And that brings me to my heartbreak: I know Christians were marching.

[Tweet “The liberal progressive activists, who sponsored that march, stand for everything that opposes the Bible. They were marching against God.”]

The liberal progressive activists, who sponsored that march, stand for everything that opposes the Bible and God.

They didn’t open or close in prayer. There was no praise music. Not one pastor spoke. They only mentioned God’s name in vain. Instead they promoted hate, creating unrest, division, disruption, disunity, and denouncing a freely elected President.

Christians don’t support abortion of precious babies, the liberal progressive agenda of same sex marriage, the demonizing of Christian values, the denial of male and female genders, the removal of God from the public square, or the denouncing of Israel . . . so what would draw a Christian woman to a march like this?

[Tweet “Here’s what Christian women should grab their sneakers and their daughters and hit the streets to march against”]

Here’s what Christian women should grab their sneakers and their daughters and hit the streets to march against: sex trafficking, child prostitution, childhood cancer or any cancer, selling drugs to youth and drug addiction, bullying, abortion. March for Pro Life, to help single moms or for women in countries who really have no rights because American women have amazing rights!

I believe that anyone who would turn out for the liberal “Women’s March” is looking for role models and mentors in all the wrong places. They are listening to the mainstream media and following the culture. The church needs to step up and provide mentors, guidance, and the Truth from the Word of God not from the world! Why are Christian women listening to Hollywood? Madonna? Gloria Steinem? Michael Moore? The same serpent that deceived Eve?

President Trump cannot turn America back to God. It’s time for the women of the church to get involved. How many of you know a woman who marched who you could have counseled? Wake up Christian women. God is calling you to get involved!

I hope you will share this post and pray about how God is calling you to be part of a revival. The doors have opened with President Trump’s and the conservative platform’s victory. Now we must do our part because the battle has just begun.

Brandon and me

I want to close with a personal story to share with any who think abortion is a woman’s “right.” I praise God every day that the 15 year-old Hispanic birth mother of my amazing twelve-year old grandson never went into a Planned Parenthood clinic. Yes, he was her second baby, so they would have eagerly advised her to get a quick abortion and head back to school to continue with her life. But praise God, she chose to give Brandon the right to his life, and blessed a childless couple by choosing them to become the forever parents of this precious gift of God. That young girl did continue with her life knowing she chose to cherish life and will never suffer the haunting nightmares of so many women who chose to sacrifice life.

If you have had an abortion or know someone considering it please read: Prisoners of Choice.

Another confirming article written by a woman about how women were pawns in what was really a political activists march: Billionaire George Soros Has Ties to more that 50 ‘partners’ to the Women’s March on Washington.

March for Trump

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January 23, 2017

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Remember Not Every Woman is “Happy” on Mother’s Day

motherbouquet

My daughter Kim and I were just on the phone making Mother’s Day plans. As we chatted about what we would do to celebrate her being the mother of my three darling grandchildren, and me being Kim’s mom . . . my mind wandered back to a Mother’s Day twelve years ago that wasn’t so happy for Kim.

In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey, Kim shares a painful and heartbreaking Mother’s Day:

Dear God,

It’s almost Mother’s Day and I don’t know if I can handle seeing all those happy moms at church and brunch. I’m trying to focus on my mom and not think about how I’m missing out on being a mommy on yet another Mother’s Day. This year is especially hard since we’ve been trying to be parents for so long and so hard, only to be repeatedly disappointed. At the store looking for a card for my mom, I see the cute cards at the end of the aisle “To Mommy”…oh God, I wish I were someone’s mommy! I look away and continue focusing at the task ahead, getting my mom and mothers-in-law their cards.

Today’s the day, it’s Mother’s Day. I don’t think I can bear it. It’s just begun and already I want this day over. I pull myself out of bed and get ready for church. I’m not looking forward to the sermon about children being a blessing and honoring mothers. God, help me focus on my mom.

We met my parents at church and I put on my happy face, when inside I was crying watching all the mothers with big smiles dressed in pretty spring dresses and children running all around. This was a day of celebration and I just wanted to go back to bed. The pastor started the message with asking all the mothers to stand up. Hundreds of women stood and everyone applauded. I couldn’t take it any longer and sat slouched over in my seat quietly crying. Toby put his arm around me and my mom held my hand, but nothing took away the pain. I barely heard the rest of the message.

After brunch, I came home, collapsed on my bed, and cried myself to sleep where I remained the rest of the day. God, please don’t make me go through another Mother’s Day with this hole in my heart. I want to stand up in church with all those other mothers beaming from ear to ear and have everyone applaud me. God, please let me stand up next year.

Some of you identify with Kim’s cry out to God.

“I hate Mother’s Day!” admitted a dear friend longing for a baby. “You know that women struggling with infertility don’t go to church on Mother’s Day.” Kris agrees, “I was that mom-in-waiting for sixteen years. I stayed away from baby showers, church, and pregnant friends. I didn’t stop praying, but it was the worse pain.”

Lisa concurs, “I am guilty of having skipped church on Mother’s Day a few years before we adopted my son.”

[Tweet “1 in 6 Women Experience Infertility”]

Someone You Know is Struggling with Infertility

Mother’s Day is especially hard for mommies-in-waiting, but for most of these women, every day is hard. With 1 in 6 couples experiencing infertility, you are, or know, a woman experiencing this heartache. Often we don’t know what to say to them, so we say nothing, or maybe unintentionally say something that makes them feel worse. Kris says, “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.”

[Tweet “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.””]

Avoidance only adds to these hurting women’s feelings of isolation and loneliness. When you don’t know what to say or do these suggestions might help: “Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do and to Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility.”

[Tweet “It breaks my heart to hear that many women say the one place they feel the loneliest is in the church.”]

It breaks my heart to hear that many women say the one place they feel the loneliest is in the church. Doesn’t that break your heart too? Jesus said he came for the sick, and that includes heartsick. The church should be a safe place for the hurting, not a place where they feel shunned or like outcasts.

How does your church comfort mommies-in-waiting on Mother’s Day … and every day?

Mothers of Prodigals

[Tweet “Mothers of prodigals are another group of women who dread Mother’s Day. “]

Mothers of prodigals are another group of women who dread Mother’s Day. They may not know where their child is, or know all too well where he or she is, and that breaks a mother’s heart and the heart of God. These moms need comforting, a hug, and assurance that this day is for them too.

Mothers Who Have Lost a Child

A mother who has lost a child, lives with that grief every day, but Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of the precious child they lost. I can’t imagine that pain, but I watched the sadness in my Granny Reed’s eyes that was always there over the murder of my father, her beloved son, a week before his 37th birthday. She had six other living children who she loved dearly, but there was always pain for the one she lost.

Women Who Have Lost Their Mother

[Tweet “There’s a void and ache that never goes away when your mom is no longer living on Mother’s Day “]

Mother’s Day is about celebrating your mom, but there’s a void and ache that never goes away when your mom is no longer living, and Mother’s Day becomes a sad reminder of all the years you celebrated her on Mother’s Day. It can also be a joyous time of remembering, but still there’s no one to buy a card for, give a hug to, and a special gift for the years she devoted to raising you. Even after you become a mom yourself and your children are celebrating you, there’s a generational celebration as you are still somebody’s little girl, just all grown up.

I hope that you will not ignore but love on the mommies-in-waiting, the moms of prodigals, or the moms who have lost a child or their own mom, who may need a shoulder to cry on . . . a prayer . . . an understanding hug this Mother’s Day.

[Tweet “If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. “]

If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. If you haven’t been in their shoes, let them know you can’t possibly understand, but you’re there for them and God is too!

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

Lindsey Bell shared another helpful blog post on my website 6 Thing Not to Say to Someone Who is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

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Dear God, Why Can't I Have a Baby cover proddaughterbookcoverjpg1-661x1024

May 2, 2016

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6 Things NOT to Say When Someone is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

6 Things NOT to Say When Someone Is Hurting

My friend, fellow author and a The MOM Initiative mentor mom, Lindsey Bell, has a new book, Unbeaten, that I wanted to share with you this week. In today’s blog post, Lindsey shares about something I write about also in both Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer (The-Top-Thirteen-Things-to-Do-or-Say to Someone with Breast Cancer) and Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? (The Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility). It’s hard to know what to say, or not say, to someone who is in deep emotional or physical pain and so often we say something that hurts rather than helps. We’ve all been there: had something hurtful said to us, or said the wrong thing to someone else.

6 Things NOT to Say When Someone is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

By Lindsey Bell

One of the most important aspects of mentoring is ministering to someone who is going through a hard time.

[Tweet “One of the most important aspects of mentoring is ministering to someone who is going through a hard time.”]

Unfortunately, there is often confusion as to what is best to say when someone is hurting.

We want to encourage people, not make their pain worse, but we don’t always know what to say.

After each of my four consecutive miscarriages, and during the years of waiting, testing, and grieving, people tried to say things to me that would comfort my broken heart. They meant well, just as most people do when they attempt to comfort someone who is hurting.

Unfortunately, many of their well-intention words did more harm than good.

Here are a few things you should never say to someone who is hurting (and a few ideas of things you can say instead).

[Tweet “6 Things NOT to say to someone who is hurting (and what to say instead) “]

You just need to trust God (or God’s timing or God’s plan, etc.).

While this might be true, it’s not a helpful thing to hear right after a loss or while the pain is still fresh.

Instead, say, “I’m so sorry.”

And that’s it. You don’t have to offer answers to someone going through a hard time.

[Tweet “You don’t have to offer answers to someone going through a hard time. “]

There’s a reason for everything.

Really? Are you sure?

I guess this might be true. There probably is a reason for everything, but maybe that reason is simply that life stinks sometimes. Maybe that reason is that bad things happen.

Maybe there isn’t some theological, deep reason that God allowed this trial into their life. It’s possible, of course, there is a deeper reason. Maybe God is planning to use this situation in some really huge way.

But isn’t it also possible that this bad thing happened simply because it happened…not because it was a part of some huge plan?

Instead, say, “This stinks.”

At least you have….

At least you have another child…. At least you had X number of years with him. At least you have …

I think the reason people say this is because they want the person who is hurting to focus on his or her blessings.

And though it’s certainly helpful to count your blessings, there’s also a time and place for grief. People need to grieve, and pointing out the positives in their situation does not help them grieve.

[Tweet “People need to grieve, and pointing out the positives in their situation does not help them grieve.”]

Having one child does not make the loss of another any easier to swallow. (It might serve as a distraction, but it doesn’t negate the loss of the other child).

A loss is a loss, so it’s better not to minimize that loss by bringing up the positives in the situation.

Instead say, “Can I pray for you right now?”

And then actually do it. Right then. Right there.

Next time will be different (or God is going to fix this or something similar).

I can’t count the number of times people told me this. After our first miscarriage, they told me our next pregnancy would be different. It wasn’t. After our second miscarriage, they said it again. It wasn’t.

The truth is, we don’t know what the future holds, so it’s better not to pretend that we do.

[Tweet “We don’t know what the future holds, so it’s better not to pretend that we do.”]

Instead, say, “I’m going to the grocery store. What can I pick up for you?” Or, “I’m running by Sonic. What kind of drink would you like?”

People mean well when they say, “Let me know if I can do anything.” But most likely, people won’t take them up on their offer. Instead of offering general assistance, offer to do something specific.

I know how you feel.

No, no, you don’t. Even if you have gone through something very similar, it’s not exactly the same because you are not the same person.

[Tweet “No two pains are exactly the same.”]

No two pains are exactly the same.

Instead, say, “There are no words.”

Because really, there aren’t. There are no words that will instantly fix their situation.

God won’t ever give us more than we can handle.

This statement bothers me for two reasons.

First, is makes it sound like God is the one handing out the painful situations. God allows death, but I don’t think he “gives” it to us.

Secondly, I’ve never seen this idea in Scripture anywhere. In fact, I’ve seen many examples of the opposite.

I’ve seen God allowing really hard things into peoples’ lives so they will learn to trust in Him.

Instead, say NOTHING. Just be there.

What other things would you add to this list?

If you received this post by email, leave a comment here.

This post is part of Lindsey’s blog tour to celebrate her new Bible study and devotional, Unbeaten: How Biblical Heroes Rose Above Their Pain (and you can too).

To celebrate her book, she’s giving away a HUGE bundle of books! Leave a comment on this post to be entered to win. You can get more entries by commenting on other blogs in the tour as well. Get a full list of participating blogs here: www.lindseymbell.com/unbeaten-is-here-win-this-huge-bundle-of-books.

Unbeaten Cover

About Unbeaten:

Why does life have to be so hard? If you’ve ever asked this question, you’re not alone. Difficult times often leave Christians searching the Bible for answers to some of life’s most difficult questions.

Questions like:

Does God hear me when I pray?

Why isn’t He doing anything?

Does He even care?

In Unbeaten: How Biblical Heroes Rose Above Their Pain (and you can too), Lindsey Bell walks with readers through the stories of men and women in the Bible who went through difficult situations. In this 10-week Bible study and devotional, she addresses many of these questions and helps readers learn how they too can be unbeaten.

About Lindsey Bell:

Lindsey Bell is the author of the Bible study and devotional, Unbeaten, and of the parenting devotional, Searching for Sanity. She’s a stay-at-home mother of two silly boys, a minister’s wife, an avid reader, and a lover of all things chocolate. Lindsey writes weekly at www.lindseymbell.com about faith, family, and learning to love the life she’s been given.

April 18, 2016

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Seek Community During Infertility

Yesterday was Easter, the hope that every Christian has of eternity because our Savior died on a cross and arose three days later. That’s the only true and meaningful purpose of Easter. Many families gather together to celebrate Easter and fun traditions for the kids are Easter baskets, Easter egg hunts, and the little ones all dressed up in their Easter outfits. And that is why Easter can be a heartache for a mommy-in-waiting who has dreamed of having a little one to do all those fun things with at Easter. Her life can seem hopeless, even in light of the hope of the Cross. A day that should fill her with joy, only reminds her more of her empty arms. It’s for that reason that some couples struggling with infertility avoid family gatherings at holidays. My daughter and step-daughter know about this personally as they shared in my book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?

Today’s guest post is written by Lisa Newton, author of 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility:

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”- Galatians 6:2

When you’re struggling with infertility, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to connect with other women who are also dealing with it.

[Tweet “When you’re struggling with infertility, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to connect with other women”]

Oh, it can feel like a big risk to befriend someone else in similar circumstances as you. You may start to worry about what you’ll do if her treatments work and yours don’t. Or how do you tell her when you get pregnant and she’s still not? You might think that dealing with your own pain and your own suffering is hard enough. Why would you want to open yourself up to someone else’s pain, too?

But Galatians 6:2 directs us to share each others burdens. It doesn’t make sense from our earthly perspective, but when we connect with others who are struggling our own burdens are eased in the process.

[Tweet “When we connect with others who are struggling our own burdens are eased in the process. “]

When I first received my infertility diagnosis, I kept it to myself. I didn’t share it with friends or family because I thought I needed privacy. I’m an introvert, so I often quote the verses that describe Jesus withdrawing to solitude in order to pray (Luke 5:16). But I came to realize God’s presence is near when we are in community (Matt. 18:20). His comfort, encouragement, and wisdom often comes to me through conversations I have with other infertility survivors.

[Tweet “If I want to be more Christlike, I must seek out community.”]

And the fact is that Jesus’ entire public ministry happened with eleven other men—his community! So if I want to be more Christlike, I must seek out community. Now I can’t image walking this journey without the prayers, love, and support I receive from my infertility community.

The fact that you’re reading this post means that you’re open to the idea of hearing about other’s experiences with infertility. Let me encourage you to take it a step further and reach out. You don’t have to start your own blog and publish every detail of your experience. Just take a small step and share a part of your story with someone.

I’d love to connect with you over at my blog. There’s also a wonderful online infertility community on Twitter. If you’d prefer an in-person connection, check out the RESOLVE website to see if there’s an infertility group in your local area. Or, if you know of someone who’s currently suffering from infertility or has suffered from it in the past, ask them if they’d be willing to go out for coffee and talk a bit.

Be brave. Bear someone’s burdens. Have your own burdens eased in the process.

[Tweet “Be brave. Bear someone’s burdens. Have your own burdens eased in the process.”]

Have you experienced your burdens being eased by community? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.

Lisa Newton blogs about her infertility journey and the faith that gets her though it at AmateurNester.com. She lives with her husband, Tom, their orange cat, Hemingway, on the Central Coast of California. She’s the author of the 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility eBook and was a 2014 nominee for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Hope Aware for Best Blog. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

April 6, 2015

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Expecting the Unexpected at Christmas

Our guest post is from author/speaker Julie Sanders. Julie and I are Mentor Moms on The MOM Initiative team, and today Julie talks about the unexpected happenings that each Christmas brings to all of us, starting with Mary, the mother of Jesus. In my Bible study Face-to-Face with Elizabeth and Mary, I talk about how Elizabeth, who was expectant with John the Baptist, mentored Mary through those first three months after her visit from the angel Gabriel telling her she would be the mother of Jesus.

I also know how difficult this season can be for women with an expectation of being mothers this Christmas season. In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?, my daughter Kim describes the worse Christmas of her life when all three of her siblings had children and she was still struggling with infertility. She had plans and expectations of being a mother that Christmas, but her arms were empty. Little did she know that the New Year would bring her two babies within nine months!

If you’re going to be around friends or family who are struggling with infertility and worried you might say the wrong thing or don’t know what to say, the blog post I wrote during National Infertility week will help you: “Hug an Infertile Couple This Week.”

If you’re the infertile couple, dreading the holidays, the post 10 Ways to Survive the Holidays When You’re Infertile is for you.

“Mary” by Julie Sanders

Her betrothal was still fresh when her expectations dissolved in the light of the angel’s arrival. To be old enough to be promised was to be mature enough to bear a child. Before Mary even had time to adjust to changes in her own body or warm up to the name “Joseph,” everything she anticipated fell away. There would be no joyous gathering of girlhood friends, envious of her new status. None of the other girls wanted to swell with a child before uniting with a husband.

[Tweet “When what we expect falls apart, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. “]

When what we expect falls apart, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. At the first sign of a change, Mary was troubled and frightened. She had questions. Before she had time to learn the physical ways of womanhood or enjoy intimacy with a man, her body would be taken over for purposes bigger than she could conceive.

“And the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. ‘”(Luke 1:30)

No experience has the power to stir a woman’s hopes like that of becoming a mother. Whether she enters in through adoption, infertility, or traditional pregnancy, a mother learns to sacrifice her expectations for the gift of raising a child. Instead of being paralyzed by the sudden uncertainty motherhood brings, confidence can be found in knowing, “There will never be a time when our children are out of God’s sight or apart from His presence,” (from EXPECTANT, Calling the Shots). Every journey is unique, but every heart is expectant.

[Tweet “No one anticipates interruptions like job loss or a life lost. “]

Most of us have plans for this Christmas season. No one anticipates interruptions like job loss or a life lost. Such unexpected events never appear on our wish list. We rarely address the severity of suffering in our Advent readings. But in the erasing of our expectations and the dissolving of our decisions comes God’s opportunities to display His grand plan. He takes our hand, leading us to unwelcoming inns, simple stable accommodations, and to exile in Egypt. Our Father lets us glimpse the greater glory found when life encircles the Prince of Peace.

[Tweet “Motherhood has a way of causing our expectations to fall away”]

Motherhood has a way of causing our expectations to fall away. From the moment young Mary received her angelic message, nothing unfolded as she imagined, but she found the greater glory in God’s greater plan. “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19)

Let’s agree that this Christmas will probably not be according to our plans–hold loosely to your expectations. Let’s look for God’s greater glory with hearts that are expectant.

Father God,

I want to treasure Your actions in my life. I want to glimpse the glory of being part of Your story. Help me to hold to my expectations loosely and to welcome your plans for me.

Julie lives where tea is sweet and grits are cheesy. She and her husband of 25 years have two nearly grown kids. EXPECTANT: 40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms was born when God brought a group of young couples into their lives, just as they began to long to grow their families. Julie loves to teach God’s word to women in her hometown and across the globe; she is passionate about fighting human trafficking and helping women of all tribes and tongues find God’s peace for life. Check out Julie’s blog home Come Have a Peace (www.juliesanders.org) and Marriage Mondays to find reasons for peace and information about her ministry.

EXPECTANT is available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Follow Julie at:

Facebook: with One Minute4MOM

Twitter: @JulieSanders_

December 15, 2014

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Three Reasons Authenticity is Worth the Risk by Lindsey Bell

Our guest blogger today is author and speaker Lindsey Bell. Lindsey and I are mentor moms for The M.O.M. Initiative and we met for the first time when we both spoke at the Better Together Conference in Jacksonville, Florida. Lindsey and I have a heart for women struggling with infertility. She shares about her miscarriages and secondary infertility, as our daughter Shannon also shares in my book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? I know you will be blessed with Lindsey’s post today as she encourages us to be authentic in all circumstances.

Three Reasons Authenticity is Worth the Risk

By Lindsey Bell

It’s so easy to be fake, to put on a smiling face when someone asks how you’re doing and to answer back, “I’m doing good. How about you?”

It’s tempting to pretend you’ve got it all together…especially when everyone around you seems to have it all together too. You certainly don’t want to be “that girl” who always has issues.

I know because I’ve been that girl. I’ve been the one who seems to be struggling all the time. I’ve been the girl whose faith is ugly, who is dealing with doubts and questions I don’t want to admit aloud.

One thing I learned during those years, though, is that sometimes authenticity is God’s tool to heal your heart. It certainly was for me.

[Tweet “Sometimes authenticity is God’s tool to heal your heart”]

My “Authentic” Story

About four years ago, my husband and I began battling secondary infertility.

In 2010, we lost our first child to miscarriage. Then followed miscarriage #2, #3, and #4.

I know for some, especially if you’ve never had a miscarriage or didn’t really struggle with yours, miscarriages might not seem like that big of a deal. But to me, each loss stabbed my heart just a little bit deeper.

Each loss also led me to question God’s love for me. I knew he was capable of fixing whatever was causing our miscarriages, but for whatever reason, he chose not to.

For a while, I tried to hide my brokenness. I assumed (mistakenly) that if I didn’t show how broken I felt, it would go away.

The problem with this kind of thinking is that brokenness doesn’t go away. Broken things don’t get fixed unless you let Someone put them back together again.

It was only when I started sharing about how hurt I was that God began healing my heart and putting me back together again. He used the people around me to shower me with His love…to remind me he did still love me, he was still with me, and he had heard every single prayer I uttered to him.

God used my authenticity to bring healing, and I believe he wants to do the same for many other women as well.

The problem is, we’re afraid to be authentic. We’re afraid of being judged, rejected, or abandoned.

I won’t deny the risk. Authenticity is risky…but it’s also worth it.

Three Reasons Authenticity is Worth the Risk:

1. Authenticity opens the door to real relationships.

C.S. Lewis said that “friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another:

What! You too?’”

How many times have you struggled with a problem and thought you were the only one? But then, when you finally got the courage to share your issue, you realized many other women had been there too.

Real relationships are only possible when both people are willing to be real with one another…real about their struggles, their successes, and their lives.

2. Authenticity opens the door to real healing.

[Tweet “Authenticity opens the door to real healing. “]

Jennifer Rothschild told a story in her book God is Just Not Fair about a speaker who carried a glass of water with her onto the platform as she spoke. This woman held the glass of water throughout the entire presentation.

At first, holding the glass was easy. After all, it was just a glass of water.

But as the class wore on, everyone in the audience could tell the woman’s arms were getting tired. That glass of water—that didn’t weigh much—felt like it weighed a ton because of how long she held it.

You and I often carry around our own glasses of water…our own worries, fears, insecurities, or problems. We don’t want anyone to know what we’re carrying so we pretend it doesn’t exist.

The problem, though, is that it does exist, and it’s getting heavier the longer we carry it alone. Our sisters in Christ can’t help us carry our glasses if they don’t know about them. Likewise, God can’t carry our glasses if we’re not willing to let him have them.

3. Authenticity opens the door to God’s glory shining through us.

I love this quote by Kaci Calvaresi:

“God can’t use a redemptive story that you’re not willing to tell.”

God wants to use our stories to show his glory, but He can only use them if we will share them.

[Tweet “God wants to use our stories to show his glory, but He can only use them if we will share them.”]

Authenticity is scary at times. It’s risky. But it’s also worth it!

Let’s talk: why do you think it’s so hard to be authentic with one another? Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts . . .

*photo courtesy: Foreman Photography

About Lindsey Bell:

Lindsey Bell is the author of Searching for Sanity, a parenting devotional designed for busy moms. She’s also a stay-at-home mother of two, minister’s wife, avid reader, and chocolate lover. You can find Lindsey online at any of the following locations:

Her blog: www.lindsey-bell.com

Her website: www.lindseymbell.com

Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindseyMBell

Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorLindseyBell

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/LindseyMBell01

September 22, 2014

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March for Life 2024!

Christians Must Change a Culture of Murder to a Culture of Life

Churches Must Get Involved to Save Human Lives

Who Was Hagar?

What Happened Next to Hagar?

Lesson #1: God Never Rejects Us

Lesson #2 God is Near to the Brokenhearted

Lesson #3 God’s Plan Is Always the Best One to Follow

Everyday Brave Hagar

What If You’ve Had an Abortion or Know Someone Who Has?

Life Empowers: Pro-Life is Pro-Woman

Abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women.

What Can We Do?

Our Family’s Adoption Story

Here’s some ways God has used my less than perfect body.

And that brings me to my heartbreak: I know Christians were marching.

Some of you identify with Kim’s cry out to God.

[Tweet “1 in 6 Women Experience Infertility”]

Someone You Know is Struggling with Infertility

Mothers of Prodigals

Mothers Who Have Lost a Child

Women Who Have Lost Their Mother

6 Things NOT to Say When Someone is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

“Mary” by Julie Sanders

Three Reasons Authenticity is Worth the Risk

My “Authentic” Story

Three Reasons Authenticity is Worth the Risk:

1. Authenticity opens the door to real relationships.

2. Authenticity opens the door to real healing.

3. Authenticity opens the door to God’s glory shining through us.

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