A Child Is Not a Problem to be Solved, But a Person to be Loved!

There once was a young boy whose mother had seven husbands. In a one-night-stand between husbands, she got pregnant. She chose to have her baby and a future husband chose to adopt her son and give him his last name. Do you know who that was? If you saw the movie Jesus Revolution, it was Pastor Greg Laurie!

In last week’s blog, No More Recreational Christianity, I talked about Pastor Jack Hibbs’ testimony of being a survivor of his mother’s botched attempt at aborting him with a coat hanger.

Steve Jobs, Apple founder, was adopted shortly after birth. Jobs’ biological parents weren’t married. He said, “I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was OK and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion.”

Some of you know the testimony my daughter and I share in my book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?  It’s the story of my amazing grandson Brandon’s 15-year-old birth mother choosing to give him life so that my daughter and her husband could adopt him at two-weeks, and we could become his forever loving family. This teenage girl actually hid her pregnancy until the 7th month so she could keep her baby even though he was her second child! Somehow at her young age, she understood the value of life and didn’t impose her poor sexual choices on denying life to the children she conceived.

Many of you might have similar stories in your family. Our testimonies are powerful, and God can use each one to encourage mothers to choose life for their babies.

If you’ve had an abortion, you can ask Jesus for forgiveness and seek Christian counseling to help you with any regrets. You’re also a perfect person to encourage other women to avoid making the same choice. God can use all our experiences for His glory if we let Him.

March for Life 2024!

January is Sanctity of Life month. The 51st March for Life at the National Mall in Washington DC was on January 19 this year and the snow and cold temperatures didn’t deter thousands from marching for life. I’m not sure how they originally determined January to be the month to honor human life, but maybe it was to start the New Year with everyone remembering how important the gift of life is from God our Creator. A perfect segue from Christmas.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! (Genesis 1:1, 26, 31 NLT).

Why then are so many choosing to destroy this amazing gift of life and how has it become so political? Sadly, many things have become political rather than moral. For example, two moral bills supporting pregnancy centers and pregnant college students passed on January 18 by a Republican majority Congress, while every Democrat present voted immorally against them.

How could anyone with a conscience or heart vote against helping pregnant women and innocent babies? But Democrats vote in unison against the sanctity of life consistently. Could it be because one of their largest donors is Planned Parenthood, the biggest industry dedicated to murdering babies?!

The Pregnant Students’ Rights Act passed by Congress ensures that universities and colleges must provide information to pregnant students about rights, accommodations, and resources available. Congresswoman Ashley Hinson (R-IA), who authored the bill, said, “It’s unacceptable that pregnant women on college campuses are often pressured to have an abortion. My bill ensures young women are empowered to choose life and create the best future for themselves and their child.”

“Pregnant college students should never feel like abortion is their only option,” said Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL). “The Republican-led House took a huge step in empowering women to choose life by passing this legislation. I encourage my Senate colleagues to follow suit and work to ensure young women are aware of all the resources available to them and their babies while pursuing their education.”

“This vote should have been an easy one for every politician who claims to care about women’s rights, and those in the Democratic Party who voted to keep women in the dark about their legal rights should be ashamed,” said Students for Life Action (SFLAction) President Kristan Hawkins. “Still, this is a great day for the Pro-Life Generation as years of campus advocacy has led to this historic moment – the first SFLAction-inspired federal bill passing the House,” she added.

The Parenting Women and Families Act prohibits the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) from finalizing, implementing, or enforcing a Biden Administration proposed change in regulations that would essentially cut funding for pregnancy centers.

“We applaud House pro-life leaders for their work in ensuring resources and funding are made available for women, children, and families in need,” stated Carol Tobias, president of National Right to Life. “In a post-Roe America, it is vitally important that resources are made available to support mothers and their babies both before and after birth.”  

Tobias continued, “In longstanding narrow-mindedness, every Democrat present voted wrong and failed to support these reasonable measures because the bills do not promote abortion. Once again, leaders in the Democratic Party have shown their allegiance to the abortion industry and its extremism.”

I wanted to watch the National March for Life on TV, but the only channel Dave found it on was a Catholic channel. CBN carried it too, but he found the Catholic channel first and as I listened to their discussion after the march, it was so encouraging to hear the commentators and guests, even young children and college students, talk about what they’re doing on their school campuses to promote life for every baby.

Biden who professes to be a “good Catholic,” is the most pro-death President in my lifetime. So why would a Catholic President fight against every attempt to protect the unborn, even trying to pass bills that remove the tax status and funding from Pregnancy Care Centers? Pro-Abortion Biden has weaponized the legislature to try to codify abortion up to birth. Barbarianism. What Catholic or Christian even thinks of such an atrocity? Only someone who has sold their soul to the devil for power and money. The abortion industry, aka killing babies, is lucrative to everyone involved.

Herod in Matthew 2:13-18 had all the boys two-years-old or younger slaughtered trying to kill the newborn king he had heard was born. Baby Jesus’ life was spared.

Pharaoh thought the Egyptians were multiplying too fast and he might lose power, so he had all the baby boys murdered at birth. When that wasn’t working, he had the babies drowned in the Nile, but baby Moses survived that genocide attempt and was adopted.  

Also, in the Old Testament pagan child sacrifices were made to Molek.  “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molek, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the Lord.” Lev. 18:21

We falsely think we’re such a civilized culture today that we would never let something like the above scenarios happen. Yet millions of baby sacrifices have occurred in their mother’s womb as the babies are horrifically poisoned, chemically burned, crushed, suctioned, injected, or impaled, and often pulled out piece by piece. Even with the end of Roe v Wade, some states like New Jersey allow the infanticide sacrifice of babies through all nine months. Barbarism in the 21st century.

The next major battle is the abortion pill as the Supreme Court reviews a case involving access to mifepristone, which the FDA has approved. Justices are set to review a ruling by a federal appeals court to allow distribution of this abortion pill indiscriminately by mail, essentially performing home abortions. Many say the abortion pill is four times more dangerous than surgical abortion and girls and women end up in emergency rooms. The drug blocks nutrients and starves the baby to death.

Our secular culture and ruling government continue to spread the lie that babies are expendable if they’re inconvenient or unwanted. Kamala Harris is visiting school campuses touting the lie that abortion is a woman’s Constitutional right. She shows her ignorance of the Constitution.

After telling his own abortion-sparing life story when his unmarried parents chose to give him life for which he thanked them, House Speaker Mike Johnson pointed out in his March for Life speech that the Constitution and Bill of Rights says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Johnson continued, “All men are created equal, not born equal.” Equality originates in the womb, not at birth. Then he affirmed, “Our rights come from God, not the government. Your value is given to you by your Creator.”

Christians Must Change a Culture of Murder to a Culture of Life

One of the March for Life speakers said, “Abortion is like hiring a hitman. It’s murder of a human life. There’s no other way to consider it.”

Speaker Johnson reminded us of others before us, like President Lincoln and Susan B Anthony, who changed public opinion and encouraged us that we can do the same.

Abortion is the only weapon the Democrats have in the 2024 election because they don’t have any accomplishments to brag about since they’ve done nothing in the past three years except try to turn our free country into a Marxist dictatorship.

Pro-lifers, conservatives, Republicans, Christians need to change our approach in discussing abortion because what we’re doing right now isn’t reaching the majority of people, especially women. We’re characterized as not caring about women’s “rights.” I think the March for Life has realized that as their theme this year is “With Every Woman, for Every Child.”

Pastor Greg Laurie shared his testimony and gave the closing prayer at the March for Life before the marchers took off walking. He also wrote an article Why Pro-Life Is the Only Biblical Position. I hope you’ll take a moment to read it now. He speaks with conviction as a Bible-preaching pastor and a life spared for a purpose. He said it took a while to realize his life was planned by God, as is every life, even those who were not given a chance to breathe.

In the article, Pastor Laurie said, “Our culture tries to dehumanize these babies with rewordings and euphemisms. They call murder ‘terminating a pregnancy’ and they label unborn babies as ‘fetuses,’ ’embryos,’ ‘globs of cells,’ ‘uterine contents,’ or ‘products of conception.’ But the reality is that they are innocent children, made in the image of God, and they have every right to live. If you don’t agree with that then, frankly, you disagree with the Bible.”

Sadly, many churches are moving away from the Bible and that never ends well.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. —Psalm 139:13–16 NLT

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations. —Jeremiah 1:5 NLT

Pastor Greg points out God says, “I formed you in your mother’s womb.” God doesn’t say, ‘I waited until you were born to have a plan for you, because you were not yet really a human, but only a mass of tissue.’”

God has a plan for every child, even before birth, but He lets us make our own choices. Sadly, many people today are choosing pro-death instead of pro-life. This isn’t helping women who most certainly will be emotionally, mentally, or physically damaged from taking the life of their child. Silently enabling this choice instead of sharing the truth with love and grace is not biblical.

We as a church must never stop encouraging people to choose God because God changes everything in a person’s life. Before that, they’re not going to listen to Scripture because they either don’t believe in God or don’t care what the Bible says. They’re going to live life their own way. That’s really the root cause of abortion and all evil.

Churches Must Get Involved to Save Human Lives

It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a sermon on the sanctity of life. January 21, 2024, Sanctity of Life Sunday, would’ve been a perfect day to give one. But here’s what we can do . . .

  • We can use our vote. Pastor Laurie writes, “To refrain from voting is irresponsible and bad stewardship. Scripture tells us, ‘To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin’ (James 4:17 NKJV). We should vote for the candidates and policies that best reflect the values we find in Scripture, and that includes voting pro-life.”
  • MyFaithVotes.org provides voter guides for how to vote as Christians biblically in upcoming elections.
  • The church was always supposed to be the place where those in need could go to get help and praise God there are Christian operated pregnancy resource centers across the United States that help the mother and child before and after birth for free. We can find one and offer to volunteer or donate.
  • Start pro-life prayer groups at your church.
  • Attend local prayer rallies for life.
  • If you have a testimony, share it.
  • In my book Mentoring for All Seasons, I have chapters on how to mentor young women considering abortion and those who have had abortions.
  • Don’t apologize for being Pro-Life. Remind everyone you’re in a discussion with on this topic that they were given life. Ask if they’re glad their mother chose life? No one has the right to deny another person the same opportunity.

This truly is our generation’s human rights movement. We’re making progress with Roe v Wade being overturned, but the battle isn’t over in the states. The battle won’t end until abortion, the killing of unborn babies, is unthinkable. A civilization is measured by how it treats its most vulnerable.

“Let’s all pray and ask God to send a spiritual awakening to our nation—we really need it.”—Pastor Greg Laurie

Please leave a comment here. I appreciate hearing your thoughts and I always reply.

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Three Lessons Beyond the Story of His Only Son!

Last week, Hubby Dave and I saw the latest movie from Angel Studios, His Only Son. I was thrilled that just like Jesus Revolution, this new Christian movie stayed in theaters long after its Pre-Easter release and the five day expected showing. That’s because many Christians poured into theaters to support His Only Son.

When I looked over at Dave during the movie to see if the sounds he was making meant he was falling asleep, I discovered to the contrary, he was crying. The story of Abraham, Sarah, and Isaac brought my tenderhearted husband to tears more than once.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I don’t want to give away too many details, but it’s the familiar story of God asking Abraham to sacrifice his long-awaited son, Isaac, born to elderly parents. The son that God had told Abraham would bring descendants outnumbering the stars in the sky. It’s a beautifully filmed movie with superb acting as it brings the Bible story of Genesis 22 to life. If you haven’t seen it and it’s still in your theaters, I encourage you to go, enjoy, and maybe cry at a father’s love for his son, but his even greater love for the Father in Heaven who Abraham trusted and obeyed, even when asked to perform a seemingly impossible sacrifice.

Interwoven into the story was a brief glimpse of Sarah’s servant Hagar when Abraham and Sarah attempted to go ahead of God. In today’s blog, I want to fill in some of the blanks with lessons from the story of Hagar and Ishmael, discussed in conversation during the movie if you listen closely, but not depicted.

We can learn from the consequences of Abraham and Sarah’s poor decision about using Hagar to circumvent God’s plan. Consequences still felt in the Middle East today.

Who Was Hagar?

When we first meet Hagar in the Bible, she’s an Egyptian maidservant to Sarai (later called Sarah), the wife of Abram (later called Abraham). Sarai was infertile and desperately wanted a child. God had told Abram that he would have an heir, a son, and yet as time passed the aging couple still didn’t have a baby (Gen. 15:2-5).

Mistakenly, Sarai thought the Lord had kept her from having a baby so she came up with her own plan to give Abram a family. (Gen. 16:2) In those days, a maidservant had no rights and was required to comply with whatever her owners told her to do. When her barren and desperate mistress Sarai decides to use Hagar as a surrogate to provide her husband Abram with a child, Hagar has no option but to obey. Abram agreed and slept with Hagar and she became pregnant.

The movie alludes to this, but tastefully never shows Abram and Hagar in any sexual scenes, not even an embrace. This seems like an odd practice to us today, but it was actually an ancient custom in biblical times to ensure the birth of a male heir.

What Happened Next to Hagar?

When Hagar learned she was carrying Abram’s child, she felt superior to Sarai and the Bible says she “began to despise her mistress” (Gen. 16:4). Maybe Hagar was upset that her mistress forced her husband on her, or she felt rejected that Abram didn’t treat her as a wife, and she took her frustration out on Sarai. Whatever the reason, she wrongly thought that her pregnancy empowered her to treat Sarai with contempt.

When the relationship between the two women deteriorated and became hostile, Sarai complained to her husband. Abram told her that this had been Sarai’s idea in the first place and Hagar was hers to do with what she wanted. He wasn’t going to get involved with their dispute. Sarai took that as permission to mistreat Hagar, so pregnant Hagar ran away into the desert. But what she didn’t expect was an encounter with God, which we don’t see in the movie.

The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered. Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” Gen. 16:7-9

The angel of the Lord also told her she would have a son and name him, “Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery.” (Gen. 16:11)

So obediently, Hagar returned, gave birth to her son, and stayed on as Sarai’s maidservant. Sixteen years later, Sarai, renamed by God, Sarah, finally had her own miracle son as God had promised, but like any older brother, Ishmael started teasing his little toddler half-brother Isaac. Sarah was having none of this and demanded that her husband, now called Abraham, send Hagar and her son away . . . this time permanently. The movie eludes during a conversation that this took place, but we don’t see it happening. We hear about Ishmael, but never see him.

The child [Isaac] grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.” (Gen. 21:8-10)

Abraham, now the father of both sons, protested but to his surprise, God intervened and incredulously told him to let them go. Listen in the movie for when Abraham discusses why he let them both go.

11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring[a] will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.” (Gen. 21:11-13)

Reluctantly, Abraham agreed and sent Hagar and Ishmael out into the desert with food and water.

14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. (Gen. 21:14)

God has lessons for us to learn from every biblical story and He tells us the story of Hagar in the Bible so we can apply what she learned to our own lives. Here are three important life application lessons.

Lesson #1: God Never Rejects Us

Hagar must have lamented her painful mistreatment and abandonment. Why was all this happening to her? When her hurt and despair sent her fleeing into the desert the first time, she was surprised but also very relieved and blessed when God met her there. She realized that even in her lowly position in life, she was important to God and He hadn’t rejected or forgotten her.

It was hard to hear God wanted her to go back to Sarai and endure abuse, but then God gave her a name for her son, Ishmael. God said He would even multiply Ishmael’s descendants. Wow, that was quite a promise, which God did fulfill in later years.

Hagar agreed to God’s plan and called the Lord, “The God who sees me, for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Gen. 16:13)

God heard her cries of affliction. Amazingly, a slave girl was the first recorded appearance of God face to face in Scripture. Others had heard His voice or seen visions, but here was God in person.

Like Hagar, when it seems like others are rejecting you, God sees and hears you. Don’t let rejection define you; allow it to refine you. Hagar had the confidence and security in God to humbly return to Sarai and Abram and fulfill her role in biblical history.

Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me! (Ps. 66:20)

The Lord will not reject his people; he will not abandon his special possession. (Ps. 94:14 NLT)

Lesson #2 God is Near to the Brokenhearted

When Abraham sent Hagar and her son Ismael into the desert, it looked like they would surely die when the supplies Abraham had given them were exhausted. Now her precious son who God had given her and even named would starve to death. It was too much for her to bear. She couldn’t watch as he curled up in a fetal positon under a tree, but she couldn’t block out his starving moans and wails.

15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she[b] began to sob. (Gen. 21:15-16)

But, what was she hearing now? Could it be a second encounter with God?! Yes, He had heard the cries of her son and asked her what was wrong? The Angel of the Lord spoke to this distressed mother yet again and reassured her not to be full of fear or sadness. Just as He had promised, God reaffirmed that her son’s legacy would be a great nation.  

17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.” (Gen. 21:17-18)

When we’re in deep despair, our tendency often is to shut out the world, and sometimes that includes shutting out God. But God is the one who understands our distress like no human can. Sometimes He will put people in our life and speak through them to comfort us, but what He longs for us to do is bend our ear towards Him and listen. Let His presence comfort you with the hope that He’s going through this with you and He always has a plan if we open our eyes to see our opportunities and listen to the wisdom He whispers in our prayer time.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Ps. 34:18)

Lesson #3 God’s Plan Is Always the Best One to Follow

When Hagar opened crying eyes, to her astonishment there was a well of water in the middle of the desert. Only God! She ran to fill her wineskin and gave her thirsty son a refreshing drink.

19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. (Gen. 21:19)

Bravely, Hagar believed God and trusted that even as a single mom rejected and stranded in the middle of nowhere, if God said it was so, then she would trust Him and obey again. God was faithful to His promise.

20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt. (Gen 21:20-21)

While we often focus on Abraham and Sarah, God has a powerful lesson in the story of Hagar. Through no fault of her own, she became entrenched in the couple’s contrived plan to fulfill God’s promise themselves instead of waiting for God’s perfect timing and plan. We can’t outsmart or outdo God. His plans always are for good and will prevail, but we’ll pay a price when our impetuous and prideful thinking is that we know best.

22 The Scriptures say that Abraham had two sons, one from his slave wife and one from his freeborn wife.[a] 23 The son of the slave wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God’s promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God’s own fulfillment of his promise. (Gal. 4:22-23)

Just as God promised, Ishmael became a great nation but to this day, his descendants continue to be in conflict with the nation founded by his half-brother Isaac.

Everyday Brave Hagar

I include Hagar in Everyday Brave: Living Courageously as a Woman of Faith because she didn’t let the hard life that she encountered defeat her. She had a personal experience with God and He protected and provided for her. She courageously understood that God was the One she could depend on and trust. He would make a way when circumstances seemed impossible.

Even when we don’t see God face-to-face like Hagar did, or maybe have trouble feeling His presence, our faith assures us of the truth that we’re never alone. God has promised to never leave or forsake us even when others disappoint or even abandon us. God is always just a prayer away.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5b)

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“God Made the Decision!”

14 And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. 15 And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for. 1 John 5:14-15

Each Monday morning in early June, I anxiously searched to see if this would be the Monday SCOTUS released their decision on the Mississippi Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization that could overturn Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey. But even after the unprecedented leak of Justice Alito’s preliminary opinion leading to the illegal intimidation and protesting at the personal homes of the Constitutionalist Justices, they stayed silent on their final decision. The Democrats in their now typical two-sided justice refused to call out the violence against churches, prolife and pregnancy centers, and even the attempted assassination of Justice Kavanaugh. The biased Attorney General did nothing to stop the illegal invasion of the SCOTUS’ neighborhoods. Yet still SCOTUS did not reveal their decision.

Thursday night, June 23, our church Couples Small Group met at our home for a time of food, fellowship, and prayer. As we prayed, one of our sweet ladies asked me to pray for the upcoming abortion ruling. As I prayed, I felt the Holy Spirit taking over and the words weren’t my words but His. I prayed for God’s will to be done on earth and especially for protection for the justices and their families, but also for them to do their job boldly, bravely, legally. Not to be intimidated or influenced to vote any differently than their conscience and the Constitution guided them.

Then, Friday morning, June 24th it felt like Christmas when I saw the news flash that the Supreme Court had ruled to remove abortion as a federal issue, in essence nullifying and reversing Roe v. Wade which had justified the killing of over 63 million babies for 49 years! Many of us wondered if we would ever see our prayers answered in our lifetime, and yet here it was happening. Just as I had prayed the previous night, Justice Alito wrote,

“We do not pretend to know how our political system or society will respond to today’s decision overruling Roe and Casey. And even if we could foresee what will happen, we would have no authority to let that knowledge influence our decision. We can only do our job, which is to interpret the law, apply longstanding principles of stare decisis, and decide this case accordingly. We therefore hold that the Constitution does not confer a right to abortion. Roe and Casey must be overruled, and the authority to regulate abortion must be returned to the people and their elected representatives.”

Which means, now the battle for the lives of innocent precious babies will be fought in each of the 50 states. Thirteen states already have trigger laws just waiting for this decision to ban abortion and other states are also working on variations of banning, but blue states are digging in with even more liberal abortion rights laws with California becoming a “sanctuary abortion” state for death to unwanted or inconvenient souls!

I hope you’ll take time to read the 10 Key Quotes From Justice Alito’s Opinion Overturning Roe v. Wade!

We all know that this long-awaited decision and righting of a horrific wrong, was the result of Donald J. Trump choosing three Justices that believe in adhering to the Constitution, which sadly seems to only be a conservative position as the liberal dissenting Justices want to bypass the Constitution, ignore it, or make their own rules.

The majority Justices were clear that their decision was not motivated by politics but instead adherence to our ruling document the Constitution. As Justice Alito said, “Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences. And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division. It is time to heed the Constitution and return the issue of abortion to the people’s elected representatives.”

“Our opinion is not based on any view about if and when prenatal life is entitled to any of the rights enjoyed after birth. The dissent, by contrast, would impose on the people a particular theory about when the rights of personhood begin. According to the dissent, the Constitution requires the States to regard a fetus as lacking even the most basic human right—to live—at least until an arbitrary point in a pregnancy has passed. Nothing in the Constitution or in our Nation’s legal traditions authorizes the Court to adopt that ‘theory of life.'”

“Roe found that the Constitution implicitly conferred a right to obtain an abortion, but it failed to ground its decision in text, history, or precedent. It relied on an erroneous historical narrative; it devoted great attention to and presumably relied on matters that have no bearing on the meaning of the Constitution; it disregarded the fundamental difference between the precedents on which it relied and the question before the Court; it concocted an elaborate set of rules, with different restrictions for each trimester of pregnancy, but it did not explain how this veritable code could be teased out of anything in the Constitution, the history of abortion laws, prior precedent, or any other cited source; and its most important rule (that States cannot protect fetal life prior to ‘viability’) was never raised by any Opinion of the Court party and has never been plausibly explained.”

We hold that Roe and Casey must be overruled. The Constitution makes no reference to abortion, and no such right is implicitly protected by any constitutional provision,” Alito wrote.

In other words, there is NOTHING written or implied in the Constitution that gives anyone the “right” to abort or kill their unborn child. Killing babies should never be considered a “right,” morally or legally, but that’s what pro-death advocates are demanding, and it will now become their mantra as abortion is decided by the states.

Let’s be clear: overturning Roe saves the lives of human beings! Democrat and Republican babies, liberal and conservative babies, white black brown ALL babies!! This should not be a political issue. It’s actually not even simply a spiritual or strictly “Christian” issue as so many try to label it. It is a fundamental, biological, proven scientific fact that sex between a man and woman is how babies are created and we can now watch and hear them develop.

“Choice” begins with the choice to have sex. Sexual freedom to create life shouldn’t mean legal freedom to kill that inconvenient or unwanted life! Period. Looking at an ultrasound of a squirmy baby forming in the womb, how could anyone vote to approve the barbaric poisoning or dismembering of that child?

The history of the demented shooter in the horrific murder of those precious children in Uvalde was that he carried around bags of dead animals he killed, and that was a clue to his mental instability. Yet abortion clinics can have trash bags outside their clinics of dead human babies they kill and that’s considered normal!

This demonic demented torturous slaughter of children, even up to and after birth, is what the pro-abortion pro-death abortion-on-demand politicians, advocates, activists, and extremists are screaming should be legal. Demented people who intentionally kill pregnant animals can be prosecuted, but many feel that humans should be able to legally kill their own children in their mother’s bellies with no consequences?!

Demonic, deceived, evil is what I see in the face of a President and House Speaker who profess to be “very Catholic,” whatever that means, but vow to find a way to continue infanticide. It’s a sick disease of the soul. They’ve sold their soul for political power, and like everyone, they’ll answer to God for their choices.

I always hope a reporter will ask Pelosi which one of her children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren she wishes she didn’t have when she gives her ludicrous speeches about women needing to eliminate their own children. She often mentions she should know how they feel because she had five children in six years. So is she saying she wishes she could’ve aborted one or more? Instead of using her platform to encourage women that you can still fulfill your dreams, as she did even as a mother of five, she maintains that women must have the “right” to kill their children. Yes, that’s demonic and deranged.

Whether you love or hate President Trump, when asked if he played a role in the SCOTUS decision, he responded, “God made the decision!” I would add that God made the decision to let him be President #45 at a very decisive time in the history of our country. And God made a decision to let the world see the evil festering in the Democrat party when He let Biden steal the election. The country had to see what the left does when they don’t get their evil way and I pray that Christian Conservative Republican candidates will run the board red in November. Elections have consequences and we’re watching the results right now.

Let’s stop complaining and start campaigning for the next generation of Conservative politicians to take back our country for God, family, and patriotism. The  SCOTUS ruling has showed us it can be done! Even if you’re in a so-called “blue state” don’t give up. The battle has just taken on a new dimension.

I share with you parts of a commentary from Dr. Robert Jeffress. Please go to the link at the end to read in its entirety.
“It is a resounding victory for millions of yet-to-be-born children who will now get to live out their God-ordained lives… Those who value life cannot afford to become weary in well-doing. The overturn of Roe is also an affirmation of the right and responsibility of Christians to get involved in the political process. There is only one reason Roe was overturned: in 2016, conservative Christians worked together to elect Donald Trump, and President Trump kept his promise to appoint pro-life justices to the Supreme Court. Had Hillary Clinton been elected—as some Christians hoped would happen—Roe would still be the law of the land today.

“This week’s historic ruling is a reminder that elections have consequences. Elected leaders determine policies that can influence the moral and spiritual direction of a country. In the 1940s, German Christians (with only a few exceptions) remained silent as Adolf Hitler rose to power and murdered six million Jewish people. Thankfully, Christians in our country have refused to remain silent about the holocaust of unborn children. Together, they effected a leadership change that in turn resulted in a policy change that will save millions of lives.” Commentary on Dobbs Supreme Court Ruling from Dr. Robert Jeffress – Pathway to Victory (ptv.org)

My Faith Votes reminds us that when a pregnant woman visits a Pregnancy Resource Center, she’s often given a gift of baby items. A simple pack of diapers can humanize the fact that a baby is growing in her womb. Imagine if we each took action in our community with this one simple step! Please join us by pledging, right now, to show care and compassion to these mothers in need…we’ll even help you find the Pregnancy Resource Center closest to you.

Our Family Choice for Life Story

Lest you think I’m writing on this topic without knowing personally the difference the life and death of an unborn baby can make to a family, let me bring home to you how giving life to a child influences generations to come in a family.

I have the blessing of almost thirty years married to my godly husband Dave because his mother Barbara’s birthmother chose life for her, and she was adopted. Barbara married Al and my husband Dave was born and he fathered three children, who gave birth to eight grandchildren because their grandmother Barbara was given life.

My daughter Kim’s grandmother, Jean, on her dad’s side was adopted, and because Jean’s birthmother chose to give her life, Jean gave birth to Kim’s dad, my first husband, and we had my precious daughter Kim.

Kim and her husband have three children. They adopted their first child Brandon at two weeks. His Hispanic birthmother was only 15 and Brandon was her second child she bravely chose to carry. Because of her choice to give Brandon life, we have a handsome 17-year-old grandson who has worked since he was 15, while remaining a straight A brilliant student in school and just bought his first car. Brandon is who I thought about as tears flowed reading the SCOTUS decision honoring the sanctity of life. I can’t imagine our family without him. He is such a blessing and loved so dearly.

How many other Barbara’s, Jean’s, and Brandon’s  didn’t get the opportunity to experience life and be a part of a family generational tree because their birthmothers walked into a Planned Parenthood clinic? Thank you Jesus that more of the children You create in their mother’s womb will now have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalm 139:13-14 

PS You can read more of our family’s adoption story in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey.

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What If Abortion Had Been a “Legal” Option for Mary?

Abortion has been in the news recently in a way that gives us hope that Roe v Wade could be overturned and precious innocent lives saved. Three months ago, a six-week abortion ban became law in Texas and the Supreme Court is currently considering a case regarding Mississippi’s law preventing abortion after fifteen weeks, Dobbs v. Jackson’s Women’s Health Organization. For me, six and fifteen weeks are still too late to snuff out life, but it’s a start. Progress in the fight for life.

The arguments for Jackson’s Women’s Health Organization rest heavily upon their claim that abortion is a question of right, liberty, and autonomy, and for those reasons, they maintain it must be upheld.

How did we ever get to the place where there are court battles over whether a mother should be allowed to kill her baby in womb at any time on the basis of “liberty” and “personal autonomy”? Liberty and bodily autonomy occur when you decide to have unprotected sex. Yes, you have the liberty to make that choice with your personal autonomous body, but once that choice is made, as with any other choice in life, you are personally responsible for the consequences.

Even before the choice to have sex, the autonomous consideration should be: “Am I ready to have a baby if I get pregnant?” If the answer is no, then NO should be the answer to having sex.

Today, women aren’t required to make that sensible responsible decision. They can take a pill or go to Planned Parenthood and have their baby destroyed. Then continue on with their life . . . or so they think.

My friend Patti Smith wrote a blog about the devastation of her own abortions: Nobody Told Me the Truth. Maybe that’s you and you were misled or misinformed. Patti learned that God is the God of forgiveness as she learned the truth about the life she was carrying and subsequently aborted. I’ve also heard good things about Project Rachel: Hope After Abortion. 

After your own healing, like Patti, God may use your past to help another woman not let abortion become her future.

Misguided Justifications Women and Lawyers Give for Abortion

Misconception: Abortion is a “right.”

Last week, Supreme Court Justice Thomas poignantly asked where in the constitution is abortion a right. “I understand we’re talking about abortion here, but what is confusing is that we — if we were talking about the Second Amendment, I know exactly what we’re talking about. If we’re talking about the Fourth Amendment, I know what we’re talking about because it’s written. It’s there. What specifically is the right here that we’re talking about?” Thomas said.

Thomas was pointing out that abortion is not a written constitutional right. The Constitution does say everyone has a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and that includes a baby in the womb.

Here are more “my right” misconceptions and misuses of terminology.

  1. “It’s my body.” It’s not her own body. She didn’t create herself. God did by her parents having sex to create her. Then she used her body to have sex and create a body separate from hers with its own heartbeat, eyes, ears, mouth, nose, brain, organs, skin, arms, legs, sensitivity to pain, and cry.
  2. “Bodily autonomy is a human right.” Autonomy does allow a woman to choose to have sex with her body, but when she creates another body, that little body has autonomy and a human right also.
  3. “Abortion is morally good.” When murder becomes morally good and justified, we’ve definitely regressed to barbarism and savagery. Promiscuous sex is morally wrong. Two wrongs do not make a right
  4. “A woman’s right to choose.” In 99.9% of situations, a woman does have a right to choose . . . if she’s going to have sex or not. That’s her choice.
  5. “Reproductive rights” starts with the right to say yes or no to sex. Sex leads to reproduction. A scientific and biological fact and a right God gave to every man and woman who chooses to have sex.
  6. “Healthcare.” There’s nothing healthy for a woman to have a baby poisoned, burned, dismembered, or sucked out of her womb.
  7. “It’s a decision between a woman and her doctor.” When a girl or woman goes into Planned Parenthood, they don’t see the doctor until they’re in stirrups and he’s killing her baby. Doctors take an oath to save life, not take it. Often it’s not even a doctor performing the abortion.
  8. “Prochoice.” The argument is between prolife and prodeath advocates! That’s something no one wants to say.
  9. “A war on women.” Hmm. How about we stop the war on babies, both male and female.

Other reasons given to justify abortion might be too young, inconvenient, embarrassing, being a mother wouldn’t fit in with life plans. Motivations are often selfish and self-centered not even considering they are carrying God’s creation. A person!

Let’s Look at Mary the Mother of Our Lord and Savior.

When the angel Gabriel visited Mary, he told her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God.” (Luke 1: 35 NLT) Mary was going to become pregnant with the Savior of the world as a young teenager and a virgin betrothed to marry Joseph. Talk about bad timing! Inconvenient! Embarrassing! Disrupting her marriage plans.

Today’s pro-choice advocates would argue that Mary had every justification for either saying no I won’t do this for you Lord, or if she conceived anyway, call the local abortionist and murder God’s Son, the future Savior of the world.

There would be no Christmas. No fulfillment of prophecy. No chance for repentance and forgiveness of our sins. No eternal life! God’s plans for future generations thwarted!

Praise God, instead, “Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” (Luke 1:38 NLT)

How many of God’s children who He knit together in their mother’s womb and had great plans for them to rescue our world in the areas of medicine, health, science, teachers, leaders, preachers, fathers and mothers of future generations have been slaughtered before they could take their first breath or horrifically some even murdered after birth? How many? An estimated 62,502,904 since Roe v Wade legalized unlimited abortions in 1973!

God creates and has a plan for every child conceived. That’s not just a “religious belief” as one pro-abortion SCOTUS said, but a reality, and He had a plan for her too!

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jer. 29:11 NLT

The pro-abortion attorney in the Dobbs case also tried to argue that “the burden of parenthood is an obstacle to women’s success” even as she addressed this absurd argument to Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett a mother of seven, including two adopted children.

A man and a woman should carefully consider parenthood BEFORE having sex, not after a child is conceived. Only secular cultural worldly thinking considers success outside the home more valuable than success in the home as a parent.

Mary’s choice to continue with the pregnancy wasn’t easy, but by all standards was one of the most successful and fulfilling choices a mother could ever make!

God Creates Each of Us At Conception


You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Ps. 139:13-14 NLT

When liberal SCOTUS Sotomayor compared a baby in the womb to a brain-dead person, she actually admitted that a pre-born baby is a person! Satan tries to seduce with deception by calling the baby a “fetus,” which sounds clinical and not like a human being. But I’ve never heard a woman say she’s pregnant with a fetus, a brain-dead person, or a blob of cells. An expectant mother says she’s going to have a baby: a precious, fragile, defenseless human being that according to our current laws she can “choose” to murder or let live.

A scientific discovery is now confirming what Christians have always known that life begins at conception when sperm fertilizes an egg. A video reveals what appears to be a fluorescent display of fireworks taking place at the moment of conception. The ‘flash of light’ is created when zinc is released and binds to tiny molecules that “emit a fluorescence,” only viewable by microscopes. This discovery is nothing short of a breathtaking display of our Creator’s hand at work in creating each of us.

Science and technology now confirm that by six weeks, a child has a beating heart, a developing brain and spinal cord. At ten weeks, the child has arms, legs, fingers, toes and can kick. By fifteen weeks, the baby has a nose, lips, eyebrows, eyelids and can feel pain, yawn, and suck a thumb. If you’ve watched the movie Unplanned, you know the baby feels pain in an abortion and struggles to get away from the suction tube. It’s heartbreaking.

Before ultrasounds and heartbeat monitoring, women bought into the lie they were told that it’s just a blob of cells that can’t feel pain. But now, we know none of that is true. We can see the baby developing and hear the heartbeat at six weeks. We know, without a doubt, that life begins at conception. Yet many still want the “right” to kill that human being, even after the baby takes its first breath! Inhuman barbaric depravity is actually celebrated in Congress, Hollywood, the media, Big Tech, and some state governments.

Abortion has become the accepted crime of unbridled passion and lust.

There’s no right way to do the wrong thing. There’s no justification for having sex and killing a baby because the sex was convenient, but the baby is inconvenient.

Our culture today is playing God by choosing who can live and who should die. That’s not going to end well. I’m asking you to PRAY for the Supreme Court to uphold the Mississippi law and forever change what Roe v. Wade has done to this nation. Pray for each SCOTUS to have a heart conviction to do the right thing and not let innocent lives become political pawns. Ask your churches to pray as ours did this morning.

Mary celebrated her inconvenient pregnancy with a song because she knew “all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27)

The Magnificat: Mary’s Song of Praise

46 Mary responded,

“Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.
47     How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
    and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
49 For the Mighty One is holy,
    and he has done great things for me.
50 He shows mercy from generation to generation
    to all who fear him.

His mighty arm has done tremendous things!
    He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
52 He has brought down princes from their thrones
    and exalted the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
    and sent the rich away with empty hands.
54 He has helped his servant Israel
    and remembered to be merciful.
55 For he made this promise to our ancestors,
    to Abraham and his children forever. Luke 1:46-55 NLT

You might also enjoy my Bible study Face-to-Face with Elizabeth and Mary: Generation to Generation, which studies the mentoring relationship between Elizabeth the mother of John the Baptist and Mary the mother of Jesus.

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If You’re Pro-life, You’re Pro-Woman!

If You're Pro Life, You're Pro Woman

I woke up the morning of January 24 excited and eager to watch the 2020 March for Life on TV. For the first time in the forty-seven years of this annual march, a President, our President Trump, was going to speak in person! A bold and brave step in the current political climate.

I made my coffee and turned on the TV, but to my dismay, no reception. Looking out the window, I saw snow on our cable Dish, and even though we cover it with a trash bag, sometimes the weight of the snow or ice inhibits the DISH from operating properly.

Knowing how important this was to me, hubby put on his snow clothes and boots, grabbed the brush to clear the DISH, and plodded out through the snow in what was now rain. A true act of love!

The TV screen finally came alive, but now what channel would be broadcasting this momentous event? Surely, no mainstream media since they were too busy championing the impeachment trial.

Again, hubby to the rescue located the march on C-Span just as the program was starting. Then with an opening prayer, a welcome from pro-life Vice President Pence and his wife streamed in from Italy where they’re meeting with the Pope, President Trump strode onto the stage to address the tens of thousands of marchers ready to take up their Pro-Life signs and march for the right to life of the unborn.

[Tweet “One sign at the March for Life was especially poignant as it portrayed the birth of Jesus in a manger with the words “An Unplanned Pregnancy Saved Us All!””]

One sign was especially poignant as it portrayed the birth of Jesus in a manger with the words “An Unplanned Pregnancy Saved Us All!” We know that Mary and Joseph didn’t plan that pregnancy, but God did as He plans each and every pregnancy!

As President Trump greeted the crowd, he reiterated how proud he was to stand with the advocates for life to “protect the right of every child, born and unborn, to fulfill their God-given potential.”

A few of his remarks:

[Tweet “Every child is a precious and sacred gift from God. Together, we must protect, cherish, and defend the dignity and the sanctity of every human life.” President Trump at the March for Life”]

“All of us here today understand an eternal truth: Every child is a precious and sacred gift from God. Together, we must protect, cherish, and defend the dignity and the sanctity of every human life.”

“When we see the image of a baby in the womb, we glimpse the majesty of God’s creation.”

“As the Bible tells us, each person is wonderfully made.”

“Together, we are the voice for the voiceless.”

What If You’ve Had an Abortion or Know Someone Who Has?

[Tweet “If you’ve had an abortion, please know that God loves you and is ready to forgive if you only ask. ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent. Luke 24:27 NLT”]

If you’ve had an abortion, please know that God loves you and is ready to forgive if you only ask. ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent. Luke 24:27 NLT

I’m sure it hurts to hear and read about pro-life speeches and marches when you don’t know what to do with your pain and sorrow. I encourage you to share your story with a trustworthy person. Someone who will pray with you and keep your confidence. It’s healing to talk about your feelings and not let them fester in your heart where they can lead to bitterness and self-deprecating efforts to soothe remorse.

If you know someone who has had an abortion, offer to be a listening ear. Pray with and for her. Assist her in finding the help and support she needs to experience the peace and forgiveness her heart craves.

Life Empowers: Pro-Life is Pro-Woman

The March for Life chose the above theme this year because 2020 marks one hundred years since the 19th Amendment giving women the inalienable right to vote.

[Tweet “From the beginning of time, God empowered women with the incredible ability and responsibility of bringing new life into the world. Eve, whose name means “life-giving” was the first mother through which the entire world populated.”]

But from the beginning of time, God empowered women with the incredible ability and responsibility of bringing new life into the world. Eve, whose name means “Life-giving,” was the first mother from which the entire world would populate. Eve also means “Mother of All Who Have Life.”

[Tweet “Only a woman is empowered by God with the capability and privilege of carrying a human life in her womb.”]

Only a woman is empowered by God with the capability and privilege of carrying a human life in her womb. To feel her baby as it grows. The first kick. The first hiccup. The first rollover. That is our amazing joy as women to bring another person into the world. New creations, each one designed by God unique with its own DNA, fingerprint, and purpose.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Psalm 139:13-14 NLT

God picks the time of each child’s conception! Sometimes His timing coincides with our desires, but like everything God does, it’s not always on our terms or times. That’s why He’s God and we’re not.

[Tweet “With the advent of ultrasounds, unborn babies may be voiceless, but they’re not invisible and their heartbeats are clearly heard.”]

With the advent of ultrasounds, unborn babies may be voiceless, but they’re not invisible and their heartbeats are clearly heard. It’s the Devil’s lie that these aren’t precious little human beings to be incubated and nourished in their mommy’s tummy until they burst forth with their first breath and cry. Both bodies intertwined from the moment of conception, bonding even before birth. That’s how God designed the mystery and majesty of creation.

Abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women.

[Tweet “Abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women.”]

The case for abortion is based on lies and manipulation. Abortion has become a cash cow funding industries and organizations like Planned Parenthood who lie to women and tell them their baby isn’t really human and that they won’t feel a thing. The truth is that they will feel their searing loss for the rest of their lives. Those women who sadly tout and brag about how liberating their abortions have been are trying to convince themselves that they didn’t really eliminate their own children.

What Can We Do?

If You're Pro Life, You're Pro Woman

As Christians, we need to remember that God doesn’t conform to man’s laws!

We can’t stand idly by and do nothing or think abortion isn’t our issue because it might not affect us personally or it’s “legal.” As I mentioned in last week’s blog post, apathy is the antithesis of the Christian life.

We need to let what breaks God’s heart, break our hearts.

I know you may have other good causes that you’re giving your time and energy too, but I ask: What could have been more important than saving the life and future of the 61,000,000 babies aborted? The purpose and plans God had for these baby boys and girls?

You don’t have to walk in a march or carry a sign to be an advocate for life.

As speakers pointed out in the Walk for Life, we have the right and obligation to vote for this Human Rights Issue. With our empowered vote, we choose government legislatures and presidents who don’t just talk about changing the status quo, but are willing to risk their political future and reputation to save the next generation of babies.

Who will go up against the liberal left?

Who will use the power we give him or her to not just maintain limits on abortion, but abolish it completely?

[Tweet “No woman or man should have the right to make a choice that ends in savagely taking a life and calling it legal.”]

No woman or man should have the right to make a choice that ends in savagely taking a life and calling it legal.

I challenge you that silence is compliance. Not taking a stand for right is inadvertently taking a stand for wrong.

[Tweet “Silence is compliance. Not taking a stand for right is inadvertently taking a stand for wrong.”]

I applaud each of you with a burden in your heart for the babies tortured, dismembered, and horrifically burned every second of every day because Satan spreads the lie that an unborn child does not have the inalienable right to life.

For everyone reading this blog, and I know there will be many unsubscribes, I pray that God speaks to your soul with what He wants you to do. Because there is no denying there will be a price to pay for this bloodstain on our nation as God asks: I saved you, why aren’t you saving the children?

Our Family’s Adoption Story

If You're Pro Life, You're Pro WomanIf You're Pro Life, You're Pro Woman

I have an amazing grandson because fifteen years ago a pregnant 15-year-old girl chose life for her second baby, while she was still raising her 18-month-old first baby and attending high school! She managed to keep her pregnancy a secret from her mom for seven months, when fifteen years ago abortion wasn’t an option at that late stage of pregnancy. Instead, she delivered a beautiful baby boy. My daughter and son-in-law, who suffered from infertility, blessed our family by adopting him and we became his forever family.

While I rejoice and praise God over that young girl’s choice to give her baby, my grandson, an opportunity to live, I cry over the millions of babies who never had the same opportunity.*

“We cannot know what our citizens yet unborn will achieve. The dreams they will imagine. The masterpieces they will create. The discoveries they will make. But we know this: every life brings love into this world, every child brings joy to a family. Every person is worth protecting. And above all, we know that every human soul is divine and every human life, born and unborn, is made in the holy image of Almighty God.” President Donald J. Trump

Yet you brought me safely from my mother’s womb
and led me to trust you at my mother’s breast.
10 I was thrust into your arms at my birth.
You have been my God from the moment I was born. Psalm 22:9-10 NLT

You can watch President Trump speaking at the 2020 March for Life and/or read the transcript at LifeSitenews.com.

Read two of our daughters’ infertility stories and about my grandson’s adoption in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?

In my book Mentoring for All Seasons, there’s a section on “Pregnancy—Planned and Unplanned” with tips and Scripture on how to mentor a pregnant woman, Teen Mom, and “Post-Abortion Recovery” section for mentoring a woman who has had an abortion.

In Everyday Brave, the chapter on “Brave Mothers” includes a testimony of Kathleen, a brave teen mom who chose to keep and raise her baby, who twenty-eight years later is a digital media arts teacher. In the chapter “Brave Believer,”
Penelope tells her brave story of being an RN Circulator in operating rooms and refusing to participate in abortion procedures even though it could jeopardize her career and she received much ridicule from her peers.

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In Today’s Culture, I Might Have Been Aborted

In Today's Culture I Could've Been Aborted

“I wouldn’t have had you if I knew I would be passing on health issues to you!” My mom said to me.

As states are rapid-fire passing abortion laws that allow babies to be aborted for any “health” reason, even up through and after delivery, my mother’s words echo in my mind. I was just a young girl and I tried to frame her words in love. But I wondered then, as I do now, why wouldn’t she want me? Were her words coming from a point of regret or concern about my future? She’s gone now and I never asked.

[Tweet “Ultrasounds have made strides in helping to determine when a heart starts beating as new parent’s excitedly watch the development of their baby in mommy’s tummy.”]

Ultrasounds have made strides in helping to determine when a heart starts beating as new parents excitedly watch the development of their baby in mommy’s tummy. There are so many benefits of ultrasounds, especially in letting hesitant mommy’s know their baby is not just tissue or a fetus, but a kicking, smiling, yawning, sleeping, squirming baby boy or girl.

Ultrasounds and amniocentesis also detect early developmental issues. Often a baby’s life can be saved by intrauterine surgery or detecting that the mommy needs to be on bedrest.

[Tweet “Before ultrasounds detecting problems babies would have a chance at life. Today doctors encourage fearful parents to abort “and try again.””]

But these same tests can detect problems that can’t be treated until the baby is born, or maybe not treatable ever.

Before intrauterine technology, those babies would have a chance at life. Today doctors might encourage fearful parents to “abort and try again.” Even though we read story after story of the doctor and the tests being wrong and a beautiful baby boy or girl surprises everyone. A baby almost killed because he or she might not be perfect.

I would’ve been one of those imperfect babies.

Today’s technology could probably detect that I would have a spine with severe debilitating congenital scoliosis. Doctors might have told my first-time parents that without treatment I would be deformed and why not “get rid of me and try again for a better baby next time.” But my mom was pregnant before ultrasounds. Parents had to anxiously wait until their baby was born to even know if they were having a boy or a girl. So I lived.

But as I grew, my mother continually told me to stand up straight and had me standing for hours with my back against the wall hoping my spine would straighten on its own. But it only got worse until doctors told her if I didn’t have surgery to put a metal rod down my spine or be put in traction and wear a plaster cast from just under my ears to my hip bones until I finished growing, my left arm would eventually drag the ground. There was no way to correct the S-shaped curvature, only stop it from getting any worse and I would endure a lifetime of back pain.

She probably repeated in her mind, “I shouldn’t have had you.”

In Today's Culture, I Could've Been Aborted Because I had a deformed spine

At Christmas with my younger sister. The plaster cast you see around my neck went all the way down to my hip bones. I’m bracing myself with my left hand because I could barely sit up.

Or maybe she would’ve started experiencing many of her “health issues,” and when she became pregnant, she didn’t want to pass them on to me. I would be better off not being born. Aborted.

When I had breast cancer three times after she was gone, had she been alive, she might have said again, “I shouldn’t have had you.”

But praise God . . . she did have me.

In Today's Culture, I Could Have Been Aborted

[Tweet “God had a plan for me like He has for every one of His creations and none of us are perfect.”]

God had a plan for me like He has for every one of His creations and none of us are perfect.

Mothers often express in delight, “My baby is perfect as they count ten toes and fingers, four limbs, two eyes, two ears, one nose and a mouth, but no one really knows what awaits each of us. And that’s a good thing. If we knew a two-year old was going to get cancer, would we not want to have those two precious years with our child? What about if doctors could predict asthma or allergies? Would those be considered enough “health issues” to abort?

Now that they can detect Down’s Syndrome and cleft palates, should those darling children not have a chance at life? Savagely, doctor’s give parents that choice today.

[Tweet “Every life has a purpose, and while we’d like our life to be pure joy and happiness, we’re all going to have challenges.”]

Every life has a purpose, and while we’d like our life to be pure joy and happiness, we’re all going to have challenges. God’s plan is for all His children to be a part of human history for however long or short our time on earth or how imperfect our bodies or minds.

It’s not our call to play God.

[Tweet “It is not our call to play God.”]

Here’s some ways God has used my less than perfect body.

  1. I had a beautiful baby girl, who could’ve possibly had scoliosis, but she doesn’t. I tried so hard to have her while I struggled with infertility and not once did I ever think, “Maybe God doesn’t want me to have a baby.” I love being a mother.
  2. My daughter has three beautiful children. I love being a grandmother.
  3. I have a godly husband who is devoted to Jesus and to me. I love being a wife.
  4. I had the opportunity to start the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry over twenty years ago and only God knows the number of women throughout the world who have been, and continue to be, blessed by mentoring relationships. I love being About His Work.
  5. At the age of 50, I became an author! September 2019 will be the release of my twentieth Christian nonfiction book, all written to the glory of God. I love being an author.
  6. I’ve had the opportunity to speak and encourage women throughout the United States and Canada about how to live a life for Christ. I love speaking and mentoring.

It’s true I’ve had, and continue to have, many health issues, but I’m so glad my mother did choose to give me life.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

Psalm 139:13-14

In a recent post Don’t Just Cry About It, Do Something, I said one of the things we can do is put a face to the inhumanity of abortion by telling our stories. I’m sure all of you have a story to tell too of someone, maybe you, who might’ve been aborted today. Share with us your story in the comments and tell someone else today! You might just be saving an unborn life.

If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

*Opening picture is from the Christian Conservative

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Some Women Are Still Like Eve: Listening to the Serpent

Have you ever wondered why Satan approached Eve and not Adam in the Garden of Eden? Why didn’t he go up to Adam and start challenging him about whether or not God really said they shouldn’t eat from the tree of wisdom? Let’s review Genesis 3:2-10 NLT:

The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

“Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”

“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

[Tweet “When the shrewd serpent, AKA Satan, showed Eve how beautiful and delicious the fruit was, and she wouldn’t need God, Eve caved. “]

When the shrewd serpent, AKA Satan, showed Eve how beautiful and delicious the fruit was, and she wouldn’t need God, Eve caved. Husbands want to please their wives. Since that day, the Devil has made it his mission to get women and men to choose evil over good, Satan’s ways, not God’s ways. Already owning the world, Satan goes after the Christians he loses who turn from their evil ways, repent from their sins, and choose to follow Jesus Christ. Not deterred, Satan still dangles that forbidden fruit in the form of lies, sin, temptations, pride . . . anything that makes us feel we don’t need God, just like when he tempted Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-10).

Jesus used Scripture to fend off Satan. If we’re not grounded in God’s Word, we’re easily deceived and distracted by the Deceiver, the Ruler of this world. Mothers have a huge influence over their children’s beliefs: what they watch on television, the video games they play, the amount of time they spend on electronics, the friends they keep.  A real and present danger is the lure of the secular world on women, and thus goes the next generation.

Since November 8 when the progressive liberals lost the presidential election, they have desperately tried to delegitimatize Donald Trump’s presidency. Refusing to accept defeat, they plotted a “Women’s March” in Washington DC the day after Inauguration Day. Supposedly, these women were marching for “women’s rights,” which were never clearly defined.

The rally featured speeches from activist Gloria Steinem, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards, Democrat Elizabeth Warren (a fierce supporter of Hillary Clinton wearing a Planned Parenthood scarf) Madonna, actresses Ashley Judd, America Ferrara, and Scarlett Johansson, and director Michael Moore, among others.

Michael Moore . . . what does he have to do with women’s rights? Nothing! Then a group of largely women senators and other politicians took the stage.

In an article by Meghan Keneally, Good Morning America, titled “Politicians, Activists Rally Crowd at Women’s March in Washington,” Keneally noted: “With the timing and sheer number of people involved, it comes as little surprise that there are various causes attached to the march, which was largely billed as a demonstration in support of women’s rights and civil rights but for many has clear political undertones connected to the inauguration of Donald Trump.

[Tweet “This was obviously not a march for all women’s rights, since they barred all Pro-life groups!”]

This was obviously not a march for all women’s rights, since they barred all Pro-life groups!

This was also not a grassroots movement by a grandmother in Hawaii like the fake news media would have you believe. This was a well-planned Democrats’ attack aimed at President Donald Trump. So only Satan, the father of lies, could lure women, many bringing daughters, into marching for “women’s rights,” when it was actually political activists needing a big crowd to support their own agendas.

[Tweet “So Satan, the father of lies, lured women, many bringing daughters, into marching for “women’s rights,” when it was actually political activists needing a big crowd to support their own agendas.”]

Even when asked why they were marching, most women quoted political election rhetoric, liberal media points, or didn’t have a clear answer. Satan’s trademark is confusion.

Women were the pawns of political interest groups, while supposedly protesting Donald Trump’s treatment of women. Ironic!

Maybe the women missed the fact that Donald Trump appointed Kellyanne Conway as the first woman presidential Campaign Manager and now Counselor and Advisor to the President? She broke a glass ceiling.

Some said they marched because of something Trump said over eleven years ago and publically asked forgiveness for and I wrote a blog about. Instead of granting him forgiveness, they knitted pink hats as idols to memorialize the vulgar word they’re protesting, and now demeaning slang words for women are freely rolling off their lips, yes including their young daughters. And Satan laughs!

[Tweet “women knitted pink hats to memorialize the vulgar word they’re protesting and now the demeaning word for women is freely rolling off all their lips, yes including their young daughters. “]

So hypocritical when many at the march were yelling vulgarities, had obscenities on signs, and were listening to someone like Madonna give a profanity-laced, vulgar talk saying she thought about blowing up the White House. Does anyone see the dichotomy there? These women brought their daughters to hear Madonna who demeans women as sex symbols in her songs and costumes, has a filthy mouth, and talks of bombing the White House! She is a disgrace to womanhood and not a role model for our daughters. And the liberal anti-Trump Hollywood “stars” act in R rated movies exploiting women, participate in explicit sex scenes with other actors, and use vulgar language in movies and call it “art.”

Maybe they think President Trump is a racist? Really, what has he said that’s racist? He wants to help the inner cities and protect America from terrorists and illegals invading our country. He has many black pastors advising and supporting him. Were they marching against that?

Oh maybe they were marching against possibly losing the right to murder their babies, even up to the day before delivery? Ah Satan the tempter again: Did God really say life starts at conception? Did God really say thou shalt not kill?

[Tweet “Sex is a right and a choice, but it is not a right or choice to kill an unborn baby for convenience, pleasure, or wealth”]

Abortion never was or will be a woman’s right. Sex is a right and a choice, but it is not a right or choice to kill an unborn baby for convenience, pleasure, or wealth. Only Satan would tell a woman abortion was a right. But every unborn baby does have a right to life!

Could they be marching about losing Obamacare, because they might lose free abortions or birth control while the cost is skyrocketing and strapping families, businesses, and doctors are overwhelmed with paperwork? There will be a replacement for Obamacare and there are safe clinics that help women get medical checkups and provide help with pregnancies. It’s Satan’s lie that women will lose health benefits without Planned Parenthood.

Exactly what real “rights” were they marching for?

Women love getting together for a cause and climbed on planes, buses, and vans, but listening to them shout obscenities, wave signs with vulgarities, and denounce a newly inaugurated president wasn’t unifying. It isn’t God’s way. It is Satan whispering in their ears: God’s ways don’t work in today’s culture. Your rights are more important! God’s irrelevant in 2017. You don’t need Him. It’s all about you.

And that brings me to my heartbreak: I know Christians were marching.

[Tweet “The liberal progressive activists, who sponsored that march, stand for everything that opposes the Bible. They were marching against God.”]

The liberal progressive activists, who sponsored that march, stand for everything that opposes the Bible and God.

They didn’t open or close in prayer. There was no praise music. Not one pastor spoke. They only mentioned God’s name in vain. Instead they promoted hate, creating unrest, division, disruption, disunity, and denouncing a freely elected President.

Christians don’t support abortion of precious babies, the liberal progressive agenda of same sex marriage, the demonizing of Christian values, the denial of male and female genders, the removal of God from the public square, or the denouncing of Israel  . . . so what would draw a Christian woman to a march like this?

[Tweet “Here’s what Christian women should grab their sneakers and their daughters and hit the streets to march against”]

Here’s what Christian women should grab their sneakers and their daughters and hit the streets to march against: sex trafficking, child prostitution, childhood cancer or any cancer, selling drugs to youth and drug addiction, bullying, abortion. March for Pro Life, to help single moms or for women in countries who really have no rights because American women have amazing rights!

I believe that anyone who would turn out for the liberal “Women’s March” is looking for role models and mentors in all the wrong places. They are listening to the mainstream media and following the culture. The church needs to step up and provide mentors, guidance, and the Truth from the Word of God not from the world! Why are Christian women listening to Hollywood? Madonna? Gloria Steinem? Michael Moore? The same serpent that deceived Eve?

President Trump cannot turn America back to God. It’s time for the women of the church to get involved. How many of you know a woman who marched who you could have counseled? Wake up Christian women. God is calling you to get involved!

I hope you will share this post and pray about how God is calling you to be part of a revival. The doors have opened with President Trump’s and the conservative platform’s victory. Now we must do our part because the battle has just begun.

Brandon and me

I want to close with a personal story to share with any who think abortion is a woman’s “right.” I praise God every day that the 15 year-old Hispanic birth mother of my amazing twelve-year old grandson never went into a Planned Parenthood clinic. Yes, he was her second baby, so they would have eagerly advised her to get a quick abortion and head back to school to continue with her life. But praise God, she chose to give Brandon the right to his life, and blessed a childless couple by choosing them to become the forever parents of this precious gift of God. That young girl did continue with her life knowing she chose to cherish life and will never suffer the haunting nightmares of so many women who chose to sacrifice life.

Read more of Brandon’s story in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey

If you have had an abortion or know someone considering it please read: Prisoners of Choice.

Another confirming article written by a woman about how women were pawns in what was really a political activists march: Billionaire George Soros Has Ties to more that 50 ‘partners’ to the Women’s March on Washington.

March for Trump

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Remember Not Every Woman is “Happy” on Mother’s Day

motherbouquet

My daughter Kim and I were just on the phone making Mother’s Day plans. As we chatted about what we would do to celebrate her being the mother of my three darling grandchildren, and me being Kim’s mom . . . my mind wandered back to a Mother’s Day twelve years ago that wasn’t so happy for Kim.

In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey, Kim shares a painful and heartbreaking Mother’s Day:

Dear God,

It’s almost Mother’s Day and I don’t know if I can handle seeing all those happy moms at church and brunch. I’m trying to focus on my mom and not think about how I’m missing out on being a mommy on yet another Mother’s Day. This year is especially hard since we’ve been trying to be parents for so long and so hard, only to be repeatedly disappointed. At the store looking for a card for my mom, I see the cute cards at the end of the aisle “To Mommy”…oh God, I wish I were someone’s mommy! I look away and continue focusing at the task ahead, getting my mom and mothers-in-law their cards.

Today’s the day, it’s Mother’s Day. I don’t think I can bear it. It’s just begun and already I want this day over. I pull myself out of bed and get ready for church. I’m not looking forward to the sermon about children being a blessing and honoring mothers. God, help me focus on my mom.

We met my parents at church and I put on my happy face, when inside I was crying watching all the mothers with big smiles dressed in pretty spring dresses and children running all around. This was a day of celebration and I just wanted to go back to bed. The pastor started the message with asking all the mothers to stand up. Hundreds of women stood and everyone applauded. I couldn’t take it any longer and sat slouched over in my seat quietly crying. Toby put his arm around me and my mom held my hand, but nothing took away the pain. I barely heard the rest of the message.

After brunch, I came home, collapsed on my bed, and cried myself to sleep where I remained the rest of the day. God, please don’t make me go through another Mother’s Day with this hole in my heart. I want to stand up in church with all those other mothers beaming from ear to ear and have everyone applaud me. God, please let me stand up next year.

Some of you identify with Kim’s cry out to God.

“I hate Mother’s Day!” admitted a dear friend longing for a baby. “You know that women struggling with infertility don’t go to church on Mother’s Day.” Kris agrees, “I was that mom-in-waiting for sixteen years. I stayed away from baby showers, church, and pregnant friends. I didn’t stop praying, but it was the worse pain.”

Lisa concurs, “I am guilty of having skipped church on Mother’s Day a few years before we adopted my son.”

[Tweet “1 in 6 Women Experience Infertility”]

Someone You Know is Struggling with Infertility

Mother’s Day is especially hard for mommies-in-waiting, but for most of these women, every day is hard. With 1 in 6 couples experiencing infertility, you are, or know, a woman experiencing this heartache. Often we don’t know what to say to them, so we say nothing, or maybe unintentionally say something that makes them feel worse. Kris says, “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.”

[Tweet “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.””]

Avoidance only adds to these hurting women’s feelings of isolation and loneliness. When you don’t know what to say or do these suggestions might help: “Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do and to Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility.”

[Tweet “It breaks my heart to hear that many women say the one place they feel the loneliest is in the church.”]

It breaks my heart to hear that many women say the one place they feel the loneliest is in the church. Doesn’t that break your heart too? Jesus said he came for the sick, and that includes heartsick. The church should be a safe place for the hurting, not a place where they feel shunned or like outcasts.

How does your church comfort mommies-in-waiting on Mother’s Day … and every day?

Mothers of Prodigals

[Tweet “Mothers of prodigals are another group of women who dread Mother’s Day. “]

Mothers of prodigals are another group of women who dread Mother’s Day. They may not know where their child is, or know all too well where he or she is, and that breaks a mother’s heart and the heart of God. These moms need comforting, a hug, and assurance that this day is for them too.

Mothers Who Have Lost a Child

A mother who has lost a child, lives with that grief every day, but Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of the precious child they lost. I can’t imagine that pain, but I watched the sadness in my Granny Reed’s eyes that was always there over the murder of my father, her beloved son, a week before his 37th birthday. She had six other living children who she loved dearly, but there was always pain for the one she lost.

Women Who Have Lost Their Mother

[Tweet “There’s a void and ache that never goes away when your mom is no longer living on Mother’s Day “]

Mother’s Day is about celebrating your mom, but there’s a void and ache that never goes away when your mom is no longer living, and Mother’s Day becomes a sad reminder of all the years you celebrated her on Mother’s Day. It can also be a joyous time of remembering, but still there’s no one to buy a card for, give a hug to, and a special gift for the years she devoted to raising you. Even after you become a mom yourself and your children are celebrating you, there’s a generational celebration as you are still somebody’s little girl, just all grown up.

I hope that you will not ignore but love on the mommies-in-waiting, the moms of prodigals, or the moms who have lost a child or their own mom, who may need a shoulder to cry on . . . a prayer . . . an understanding hug this Mother’s Day.

[Tweet “If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. “]

If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. If you haven’t been in their shoes, let them know you can’t possibly understand, but you’re there for them and God is too!

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

Lindsey Bell shared another helpful blog post on my website 6 Thing Not to Say to Someone Who is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

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Dear God, Why Can't I Have a Baby coverproddaughterbookcoverjpg1-661x1024

 

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6 Things NOT to Say When Someone is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

6 Things NOT to Say When Someone Is Hurting

My friend, fellow author and a The MOM Initiative mentor mom, Lindsey Bell, has a new book, Unbeaten, that I wanted to share with you this week. In today’s blog post, Lindsey shares about something I write about also in both Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer (The-Top-Thirteen-Things-to-Do-or-Say to Someone with Breast Cancer) and Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? (The Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility). It’s hard to know what to say, or not say, to someone who is in deep emotional or physical pain and so often we say something that hurts rather than helps. We’ve all been there: had something hurtful said to us, or said the wrong thing to someone else.

6 Things NOT to Say When Someone is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

By Lindsey Bell

One of the most important aspects of mentoring is ministering to someone who is going through a hard time.

[Tweet “One of the most important aspects of mentoring is ministering to someone who is going through a hard time.”]

Unfortunately, there is often confusion as to what is best to say when someone is hurting.

We want to encourage people, not make their pain worse, but we don’t always know what to say.

After each of my four consecutive miscarriages, and during the years of waiting, testing, and grieving, people tried to say things to me that would comfort my broken heart. They meant well, just as most people do when they attempt to comfort someone who is hurting.

Unfortunately, many of their well-intention words did more harm than good.

Here are a few things you should never say to someone who is hurting (and a few ideas of things you can say instead).

[Tweet “6 Things NOT to say to someone who is hurting (and what to say instead) “]

  1. You just need to trust God (or God’s timing or God’s plan, etc.).

While this might be true, it’s not a helpful thing to hear right after a loss or while the pain is still fresh.

Instead, say, “I’m so sorry.”

And that’s it. You don’t have to offer answers to someone going through a hard time.

[Tweet “You don’t have to offer answers to someone going through a hard time. “]

  1. There’s a reason for everything.

Really? Are you sure?

I guess this might be true. There probably is a reason for everything, but maybe that reason is simply that life stinks sometimes. Maybe that reason is that bad things happen.

Maybe there isn’t some theological, deep reason that God allowed this trial into their life. It’s possible, of course, there is a deeper reason. Maybe God is planning to use this situation in some really huge way.

But isn’t it also possible that this bad thing happened simply because it happened…not because it was a part of some huge plan?

Instead, say, “This stinks.”

  1. At least you have….

At least you have another child…. At least you had X number of years with him. At least you have …

I think the reason people say this is because they want the person who is hurting to focus on his or her blessings.

And though it’s certainly helpful to count your blessings, there’s also a time and place for grief. People need to grieve, and pointing out the positives in their situation does not help them grieve.

[Tweet “People need to grieve, and pointing out the positives in their situation does not help them grieve.”]

Having one child does not make the loss of another any easier to swallow. (It might serve as a distraction, but it doesn’t negate the loss of the other child).

A loss is a loss, so it’s better not to minimize that loss by bringing up the positives in the situation.

Instead say, “Can I pray for you right now?”

And then actually do it. Right then. Right there.

  1. Next time will be different (or God is going to fix this or something similar).

I can’t count the number of times people told me this. After our first miscarriage, they told me our next pregnancy would be different. It wasn’t. After our second miscarriage, they said it again. It wasn’t.

The truth is, we don’t know what the future holds, so it’s better not to pretend that we do.

[Tweet “We don’t know what the future holds, so it’s better not to pretend that we do.”]

Instead, say, “I’m going to the grocery store. What can I pick up for you?” Or, “I’m running by Sonic. What kind of drink would you like?”  

People mean well when they say, “Let me know if I can do anything.” But most likely, people won’t take them up on their offer. Instead of offering general assistance, offer to do something specific.

  1. I know how you feel.

No, no, you don’t. Even if you have gone through something very similar, it’s not exactly the same because you are not the same person.

[Tweet “No two pains are exactly the same.”]

No two pains are exactly the same.

Instead, say, “There are no words.”

Because really, there aren’t. There are no words that will instantly fix their situation.

  1. God won’t ever give us more than we can handle.

This statement bothers me for two reasons.

First, is makes it sound like God is the one handing out the painful situations. God allows death, but I don’t think he “gives” it to us.

Secondly, I’ve never seen this idea in Scripture anywhere. In fact, I’ve seen many examples of the opposite.

I’ve seen God allowing really hard things into peoples’ lives so they will learn to trust in Him.

Instead, say NOTHING. Just be there.

What other things would you add to this list?

If you received this post by email, leave a comment here.

This post is part of Lindsey’s blog tour to celebrate her new Bible study and devotional, Unbeaten: How Biblical Heroes Rose Above Their Pain (and you can too).

To celebrate her book, she’s giving away a HUGE bundle of books! Leave a comment on this post to be entered to win. You can get more entries by commenting on other blogs in the tour as well. Get a full list of participating blogs here: www.lindseymbell.com/unbeaten-is-here-win-this-huge-bundle-of-books.

Unbeaten Cover

About Unbeaten:

Why does life have to be so hard? If you’ve ever asked this question, you’re not alone. Difficult times often leave Christians searching the Bible for answers to some of life’s most difficult questions.

Questions like:

Does God hear me when I pray?

Why isn’t He doing anything?

Does He even care?

In Unbeaten: How Biblical Heroes Rose Above Their Pain (and you can too), Lindsey Bell walks with readers through the stories of men and women in the Bible who went through difficult situations. In this 10-week Bible study and devotional, she addresses many of these questions and helps readers learn how they too can be unbeaten.

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About Lindsey Bell:

Lindsey Bell is the author of the Bible study and devotional, Unbeaten, and of the parenting devotional, Searching for Sanity. She’s a stay-at-home mother of two silly boys, a minister’s wife, an avid reader, and a lover of all things chocolate. Lindsey writes weekly at www.lindseymbell.com about faith, family, and learning to love the life she’s been given.

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Seek Community During Infertility

Yesterday was Easter, the hope that every Christian has of eternity because our Savior died on a cross and arose three days later. That’s the only true and meaningful purpose of Easter. Many families gather together to celebrate Easter and fun traditions for the kids are Easter baskets, Easter egg hunts, and the little ones all dressed up in their Easter outfits. And that is why Easter can be a heartache for a mommy-in-waiting who has dreamed of having a little one to do all those fun things with at Easter. Her life can seem hopeless, even in light of the hope of the Cross. A day that should fill her with joy, only reminds her more of her empty arms. It’s for that reason that some couples struggling with infertility avoid family gatherings at holidays. My daughter and step-daughter know about this personally as they shared in my book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?

Today’s guest post is written by Lisa Newton, author of 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility:

31-days-IF-cover

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”- Galatians 6:2

When you’re struggling with infertility, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to connect with other women who are also dealing with it.

[Tweet “When you’re struggling with infertility, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to connect with other women”]

Oh, it can feel like a big risk to befriend someone else in similar circumstances as you. You may start to worry about what you’ll do if her treatments work and yours don’t. Or how do you tell her when you get pregnant and she’s still not? You might think that dealing with your own pain and your own suffering is hard enough. Why would you want to open yourself up to someone else’s pain, too?

But Galatians 6:2 directs us to share each others burdens. It doesnt make sense from our earthly perspective, but when we connect with others who are struggling our own burdens are eased in the process.

[Tweet “When we connect with others who are struggling our own burdens are eased in the process. “]

When I first received my infertility diagnosis, I kept it to myself. I didn’t share it with friends or family because I thought I needed privacy. I’m an introvert, so I often quote the verses that describe Jesus withdrawing to solitude in order to pray (Luke 5:16). But I came to realize God’s presence is near when we are in community (Matt. 18:20). His comfort, encouragement, and wisdom often comes to me through conversations I have with other infertility survivors.

[Tweet “If I want to be more Christlike, I must seek out community.”]

And the fact is that Jesus’ entire public ministry happened with eleven other men—his community! So if I want to be more Christlike, I must seek out community. Now I can’t image walking this journey without the prayers, love, and support I receive from my infertility community.

The fact that you’re reading this post means that you’re open to the idea of hearing about other’s experiences with infertility. Let me encourage you to take it a step further and reach out. You don’t have to start your own blog and publish every detail of your experience. Just take a small step and share a part of your story with someone.

I’d love to connect with you over at my blog. There’s also a wonderful online infertility community on Twitter. If you’d prefer an in-person connection, check out the RESOLVE website to see if there’s an infertility group in your local area. Or, if you know of someone who’s currently suffering from infertility or has suffered from it in the past, ask them if they’d be willing to go out for coffee and talk a bit.

Be brave. Bear someone’s burdens. Have your own burdens eased in the process.

[Tweet “Be brave. Bear someone’s burdens. Have your own burdens eased in the process.”]

Have you experienced your burdens being eased by community? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.  

 Newtonheadshot (1)

Lisa Newton blogs about her infertility journey and the faith that gets her though it at AmateurNester.com. She lives with her husband, Tom, their orange cat, Hemingway, on the Central Coast of California. Shes the author of the 31 Days of Prayer During Infertility eBook and was a 2014 nominee for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Associations Hope Aware for Best Blog. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  

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