ONE WOMAN’S JOURNEY TO BECOMING HIS BELOVED!

This week, I want to introduce to you one of my writing mentees, Cherie Denna, and her journey to writing and publishing her new book Beloved Outcast–A True Story: The Quest for True Belonging.

When I was first asked to mentor a Memoir Writing Clinic at Mt. Hermon Christian Writer’s Conference, I have to admit I was intimidated and hesitant. I loved Mt. Hermon and had attended for 10-years, each year learning more about the art of writing and was honored to have the opportunity to be on the teaching staff. It’s where my first trade book, Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey, was discovered and published by Howard Books, now a division of Simon & Schuster, with future published books to follow.

Mentoring is my passion and various aspects of my life story run through all my books, but I had never actually written my own memoir. I knew God was asking me to step out of my comfort zone and take on this new challenge. I researched how to teach and mentor on memoir writing, which is really just telling your God story while applying writing skills and techniques.

Five mentees were assigned to my Memoir Writing Mentoring Clinic and four of those future authors who had never written before are now either published or in the process of being published. I’m so proud of all of them. I knew when I heard Cherie Denna’s traumatic, heart wrenching, and powerful story of God rescuing her by His grace and mercy, her memoir would be compelling and glorifying to God.

I thought the best way to introduce Cherie and her story would be to share with you the Foreward below that I wrote for Beloved Outcast: The Quest for True Belonging, which just released February 14, 2024. Her editor decided not to have a foreward in the book, so it wasn’t included, but parts were used as endorsements.

Foreward by Janet Thompson for Beloved Outcast

I first met Cherie when she enrolled in a Memoir Writing Mentoring Clinic I was facilitating at Mt. Hermon Christian Writers’ Conference in Felton, California. As the five participants took turns sharing their stories, I knew Cherie had a unique story that needed telling, as did the others. It was an exciting time brainstorming and sharing ideas of how to communicate their amazing life experiences for the enjoyment and wonderment of future readers.

Cherie’s vibrant smile, kindness, gentleness, and obvious love for the Lord was a testimony of God’s healing forgiveness and redemption as she often through tears and embarrassment told us some of the devastating and demoralizing times in the life of a child born into the world of outlaw biker gangs. I can only imagine the internal turmoil she encountered reliving those experiences in writing Beloved Outcast: The Quest for True Belonging, but I’m so glad she took the time to carefully, skillfully, and honestly take the reader through the raw and raunchy times that repeatedly drew her back into a life she knew so well, yet earnestly wanted to escape.

Beloved Outcast had me turning the pages to see how Cherie would overcome the challenges and struggles of her inherited and familiar biker blood. Even though I knew her story, I didn’t know the details that she shares on these pages with honesty, humbleness, and ultimately, holiness.

Cherie’s book is more than just a tell-all of a traumatic childhood that influenced bad decisions and addictions throughout her earlier life, it’s the story for anyone who wants to break free of the strongholds of the past and become a new creation in Christ to live with purpose the life He has planned for all of us.

It’s a story of hope, perseverance, love, and determination to create a better life for herself and her child with the realization that all things are possible through Christ who gives you strength to go on when you want to give in and quit. It’s also a story of God’s second chances. How He never gives up on His children who seek to experience the life of serenity and peace they so desperately desire and ultimately find in a relationship with Jesus.

Forgiveness played a big role in Cherie’s life starting with forgiving herself, which only came through realizing and accepting God’s forgiveness of her sins and past. The freedom of her soul that she experienced allowed her to ask forgiveness of those she’d hurt and forgive those who hurt her.

Beloved Outcast skillfully shares the journey and quest for true belonging that Cherie thought she might never find. You’ll probably need some Kleenex as you’re captivated and encouraged by this remarkable tale that reminds us that God never gives up seeking and saving the lost.

I can see the scenes of Beloved Outcast someday in a movie of intrigue, pain, trauma, survival, love, rescue, relapse, and eventually complete surrender to the One who offers a secure and safe home in the family of God to all those who feel outcast and unworthy.

Well done Cherie Denna! I’m privileged and honored to be your cheerleader and mentor in sharing your incredible story of your quest and discovery of true belonging in identity in Christ, not in your past.

BECOMING HIS BELOVED By Cherie Denna

Thank you, Janet, for that wonderful introduction. I want to express my deep gratitude to you for supporting my story from its inception to the moment my book was finally brought into the world five years later. I must say, joining you and your readers here is definitely a standout moment in this publishing journey.

The choice to change the title of the book was another standout moment that caught everyone off guard. When I first began journaling and blogging around fifteen years ago, I chose “Biker Blood” as the book title. My story does “take the reader through the raw and raunchy times”, as Janet pointed out in her endorsement of the book. I prayed for a name for my story that would resonate with a large audience while accurately depicting who I am today, all in honor of God and all He has done. When I landed on “Beloved Outcast,” I felt the weight of the stigmatized theme lift away.

Writing my story was a challenging endeavor, but also a significant achievement for me. This is my intimate tale of fleeing from a life enmeshed in a family of organized crime. We’re talking The Godfather meets Sons of Anarchy meets The Chosen. Why would I delve into decades of trauma? The idea of revealing family secrets goes against everything I’ve been taught as a member of the Sicilian mafia and outlaw biker gangs, where trust is reserved exclusively for those within our inner circle.

My ‘why’ for writing my story shifted when the Lord whispered to me in a dream, “Tell them.” I woke from the dream and read the entire book of Romans. When I read chapter 10, I found the verse the Lord had for me.  But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? Romans 10:14-15 NLT

I could not let go of this directive from the Holy Spirit. Putting my writing on the back burner, I felt convicted in my heart to share the Gospel message, as a witness to the radical and miraculous rebranding of my soul.

The Lord’s pursuit of us knows no bounds, reaching us in countless ways. Jesus reaches into the depth of our hell on earth to make His love known. Even as a prodigal after coming to Christ fifteen years earlier, He never left me. But I had to come to the end of myself before I could see it. Living as a recluse while shacking up with a dangerous man woke me to the reality that Satan indeed came to steal, kill, and destroy everything good in my life, just as it says in John 10:10, The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]. (AMP)

The enemy sent imposters to derail and distract me, and even silence me. Imposters manifest in our emotions, our spiritual life, and in our physical inner circle. Their goal is to distort the truth of who we are, to whom we belong, and prevent us from walking out God’s assignment on our life. And I struggled with a severe case of ‘imposter syndrome’!

Full understanding of our true calling and identity as His Beloved comes when we shed the masks of shame, guilt, and unforgiveness, and adopt the life of God’s beloved. This does not happen overnight. Becoming His Beloved is a beautiful lifelong journey. 

In this world of groups, tribes, clubs, affiliations, parties, and denominations, we tend to sacrifice pieces of ourselves at the altar of belonging. If we continue to sacrifice ourselves, we will never know true belonging as God’s Beloved.

“He predestined and lovingly planned for us to be adopted to Himself as [His own] children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the kind intention and good pleasure of His will— to the praise of His glorious grace and favor, which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved [His Son, Jesus Christ].” Ephesians 1:5-6 AMP

Get To Know Cherie Denna

CHERIE DENNA’ mission is to empower individuals to find a deep sense of belonging and belovedness in Jesus Christ in their everyday lives. Drawing from her extensive experience in women’s ministry, relapse prevention, prayer counseling, and recovery, Cherie inspires audiences to rid their lives of emotional, spiritual, and physical imposters. 

Her newly released debut book, Beloved Outcast: The Quest for True Belonging, is a must-read for those trapped in seemingly inescapable circumstances who desire a victorious life of freedom. With raw authenticity, Cherie’s platform reveals the realities of living on the fringes of society, generational dysfunction, enmeshed in organized crime and the outlaw biker culture, all while following God’s call to spread the Gospel. 

One of her greatest joys is to witness the power of God’s truth come alive through freedom, spiritual deliverance, and healing. Cherie’s raw testimonies of living with Complex PTSD offer hope for a future filled with peace, purpose, and belonging.

She continues to impact the world through writing, speaking, women’s ministry, and guiding individuals on the tactical steps of sharing their hard stories through storytelling and testimony. You can find Cherie soaking in “seahabilitation” at the beach with Jesus or on an RV adventure with her purpose-mate husband. She loves frothed coffee dates.

Join the Everyday Belonging Movement at www.cheriedenna.com. Follow Cherie on socials @cheriedenna.

Leave a comment here for me or Cherie about her powerful story.

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Jesus Doesn’t Just Get Us, He Saves Us!

Like some of you, I watched the Super Bowl. I’ll admit, I know nothing about football, but I do enjoy watching the commercials. Dave forgot about that at first as he had recorded the game and we typically fast forward through all commercials, which we did do with the halftime show. Watching the commercials with an overtime game made for a long program, but the ending was exciting.

What I want to talk about in today’s blog is the two “He Gets Us” commercials during the game. You can read my thoughts on last year’s He Gets Us commercials @ Yes, He Gets Us, But He Doesn’t Want to Leave Us Where He Found Us.

My overall opinion of the 2024 He Gets Us commercials, Who Is My Neighbor? and Washing Feet, were much like last year. They reinforced the secular voices calling Christians who oppose a sinful culture as intolerant and haters. The commercials falsely portrayed Jesus and condemned Bible-believing Christians. That was the inference I got from watching them and I’m sure many others did too.

The two commercials depicted a social justice Jesus who loves everyone. He does love everyone, but He doesn’t love everyone’s sinful actions. Jesus hates sin that destroys the people He loves. He went to the cross to offer redemption, forgiveness, and salvation from our sins. These commercials don’t portray or even imply that gospel truth.

Who is My Neighbor? depicted a variety of people culminating with a final slide: “The one you don’t know, value, or welcome.” Insinuating that these people, or people like them, aren’t visible even to preachers, missionaries, evangelists, outreach ministries, churches . . . . Christians.

As believers, we know the biblical reference is Luke 10:26-37. A nonbeliever probably wouldn’t recognize that reference.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

26 “What is written in the Law?” he [Jesus] replied. “How do you read it?”

27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Jesus went on to share the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:30-37.

The second He Gets Us commercial had a variety of people having their feet washed by people who looked different than them. The ending slides read, “Jesus Didn’t Teach Hate. He Washed Feet. Jesus Gets All of Us.” If you didn’t see the commercial, here it is. You can make your own determination. But what raised me up off the couch, just like last year, was their implication that if you oppose sins like abortion or homosexuality, you’re a hater. Feeding right into the Marxist, secular, and dare I say, partisan political agenda and propaganda.

Actually, Jesus only washed the feet of his disciples. In Luke 7:36-50 we read the story of a sinful woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears of repentance. “As she stood behind him [Jesus] at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.” (vs. 38)

Washing feet in the Bible isn’t only a symbol of humility and service, but also a powerful metaphor for spiritual cleansing and forgiveness. It symbolizes the spiritual purification and reconciliation offered through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. In 1 John 1:9, we’re told, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

The He Gets Us commercial didn’t portray the significance or true meaning of foot washing. Jesus does love all of us, but He wants us to repent from our sin, turn away from it, and ask for forgiveness. That’s the complete message of the Gospels. “Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’” (vs. 48)

Questioned about the use of foot washing in a CBN interview, Jason Vanderground, president of the marketing firm Haven and co-creator of the He Gets Us campaign, said their goal was to get people to go to the He Gets Us website to ask their questions and learn more about the meaning of the ads. When asked how many people actually responded, he evaded the question and told a story about someone who talked to them in the streets of Las Vegas.

Pastor Inspired to Make ‘He Saves Us’ in Response to ‘He Gets Us’

Interestingly, in Northern Ireland, Pastor Jamie Bambrick was watching the Super Bowl and saw the He Gets Us commercials as a missed opportunity. I totally agree. He graciously said they might be well intentioned, but they “put a Jesus-shaped stamp of approval on the values and actions of our generation common today. Things Jesus considers sin and is strongly against like homosexuality and abortion.”

“I think a lot of Bible-believing Christians viewed [‘He Gets Us’ ads] and went, ‘You know what, this just isn’t a reflection of the Gospel, and it’s not a reflection of our heart toward the lost, either'” Bambrick said.

Pastor Bambrick emphasized that the He Gets Us campaign portrays a false gospel of what the church must do and therefore Jesus would do. The ads imply your sins are not a problem or something needing repentance. You see a message that all God wants the church to do is love, affirm, and accept everyone and their actions, even when sinful. We do love, but we don’t affirm every action and we don’t accept everything as being moral and right.

Christian Post reports that Pastor Bambrick believes the ads were implying that “if the Church calls people to repentance, if the Church calls people to turn from sin, that is preaching hate, which of course it isn’t. . . That is an act of love, it’s an act of grace” he said.

“My experience with most Christians is that we actually love those who are in sin, but we love them enough to want to see them set free from their sin,” he said. “We love them enough that we want to see them delivered and brought to newness of life in Christ; to turn from their sin and be saved from it — both obviously from the eternal consequences of sin, but also in this life, how much better it is to walk with Jesus.”

He went on to ditto my reaction that the perception from the He Gets Us commercials will be that Christians who are calling on the world to turn from their sins are haters preaching and teaching hate. These commercials played right into the playbook of attackers of Christianity who call us the “oppressors” because we’re against killing babies, gender manipulation, mutilating children, and same-sex sexual relationships.

The true gospel is not a message of hate; it’s a message of love that Jesus is calling us to share. He loves us enough to lay down His life to cleanse us from our sins while we were sinners. That’s not hate, that’s amazing love. Love says we see you as someone who can be rescued from your sin!

So Pastor Bambrick felt inspired to make a powerful video ‘He Saves Us’ of people with testimonies of life-changing transformations. The slideshow in Bambrick’s video includes Kat Von D, a tattoo artist and TV personality who became a Christian after renouncing witchcraft; Josh Timonen, who became a Christian after helping atheist Richard Dawkins write a book against God; John Bruchalski, an abortionist turned OB/GYN; and Steven Bancarz, who repented of New Age practices.

Other portraits include former jihadist Mohamad Faridi, former KKK member Mike Burden, former drag queen and prostitute Kevin Whitt, former porn star Brittni De La Mora, former gang leader Sebastian Stakset, former drug addict Jeff Durbin, former trans-identifying woman Laura Perry, and former lesbian activist Rosaria Butterfield.

All slides show their former and current life with the same music in the background as in the He Gets Us foot washing ad. Closing captions on He Saves Us are: “Jesus Doesn’t Just Get Us. He Saves Us. He Transforms Us. He Cleanses Us. He Restores Us. He Forgives Us. He Heals Us. He Delivers Us. He Redeems Us. He Loves Us. Such were some of you.”

Pastor Bambrick said he hopes his video shows “the heart of Jesus” and reflects the love Christians have for those who remain enslaved to their sins.

‘He Saves Us’ is one minute, as was the foot washing slideshow. The two He Gets Us ads totaled 75 seconds. 30 seconds of commercial time during Super Bowl costs $7 million, not to mention the cost of making them. What a waste of money and opportunity.

Pastor Bambrick made his video in an hour, posted it on X, and it immediately went viral with millions of views. Praise God! He said the majority of comments were encouraging and positive.

Here is more of his interview Pastor Makes a ‘He Saves Us’ Ad in Response to ‘He Gets Us’ Super Bowl Ad, and It Goes Viral | CBN News. I hope you’ll take a minute to check it out and especially watch He Saves Us and share.

Let’s hope that He Saves Us and even He Gets Us has people talking about Jesus. We can pray that they open doors for people to seek out the true Jesus of the Bible.

Jesus was perfect as a human. Not one of us is perfect. Even though if you look closely in the first frame of the foot washing commercial, the girl on her knees doing the foot washing is wearing a white T-shirt that says “perfect.” A subtle message that believers see themselves as perfect. Not so.

Jesus was and is God. That’s the Deity and saving grace of Jesus that’s missing in the He Gets Us campaign. “The Father and I are one.” John 10:30

He understands us. He loves us. He wants us to live holy lives. He doesn’t want us to live sinful lives. He Saves Us.

15 For we do not have a high priest [Jesus] who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Hebrews 4:15

Library Update

On Valentine’s Day, three of us attended the Garden Valley Library Trustees Board Meeting for the second time where we were successful in having removed from their November minutes the reference to us as “people in favor of censorship.” We continued to request that seven books targeted to children with obscene and pornographic material be removed from the library shelves and the online library catalogue.

I read the Idaho 1972 code on the definition of obscenity and pornography to minors. Another person shared the lack of trust in the library being a safe place for children, and a third person shared the American Library Association that presents books and policies to libraries is now being led by a Marxist Lesbian whose intent is to destroy capitalism, the family and subvert Christianity. The board said they would consider these requests, but we’ll need to continue attending future board meetings.

I’m interested to get your thoughts on this blog. Leave your comments here and I will reply.

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5 Ways to Refocus and Renewal This Easter Season

Easter is less than a month away! I hope your church will be open to celebrate as a church family the commemoration of the foundation of our Christian faith: Jesus Christ arose from the tomb and lives today in every believer’s heart! The Gospel! The Good News!

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if your church is not open, find one that is! Yes, it might take a little effort, but if there was one day out of the year, especially this year, that believers needed to gather together in praise, worship, and fellowship . . . it’s Easter. It’s time for churches to cut the chains on their doors and throw them wide open just like the tomb was wide open on Easter morning! Then stay open.

Covid canceled Easter in churches last year. Don’t let anyone cancel Easter for you this year! Yes, you can watch services online, which is awesome for those who are housebound and I’m so glad it’s available for them. But for those of us who are able to attend church in person, we need to be participating and professing together with our brothers and sisters in Christ as one body in God’s house.

People without a church family desperately need to be with us in church on Easter to experience the hope we have in the living Christ, our Lord and Savior who overcame the grave! Easter is a great outreach when many turn their life over to Christ. An important role of the church is to welcome those seeking the Truth or any who are lonely, depressed, discouraged, fearful. It’s not all about us, it’s about us being there for them!

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Rom. 12:4-5

Easter Reminds Us of Our Hope in a Fallen World

Without Easter, there would be no hope. Easter reminds us, and the world, that there is forgiveness for our sins and the assurance of eternal life. As the Apostle Paul reminded the Corinthians:

Let me now remind you, dear brothers and sisters of the Good News I preached to you before. You welcomed it then, and you still stand firm in it. It is this Good News that saves you if you continue to believe the message I told you—unless, of course, you believed something that was never true in the first place.

I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said. 1 Corinthians 15:1-4

When we ask Jesus into our heart and receive the merciful forgiveness of our sins that nailed Him to the cross, we experience a spiritual rebirth. Hallelujah! Then, as we grow in our faith, we need a daily empty-tomb reawakening not just annually at Easter.

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” John 3:3

Jesus lives within the heart of every Christian and He wants us to live as if we believe it! The Christian life is one of evolving renewal! We continually cast off old patterns of thinking and behaving as we transition into a richer more fulfilling faith.

But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. Col. 3:8-10

I don’t know about you, but watching the prevalent and even celebrated evil in our culture, I feel like we need an Easter season, not just Easter Sunday. A refocus of our heart and mind. A reminder of who we are in Christ and why we must continue persevering in His name and His purpose!

Store shelves and displays take commercial advantage of Easter to sell their products for over a month prior to Easter; shouldn’t we start NOW sharing the real message of Easter?! The world needs Jesus, let’s remind them of that message and prepare our hearts for sharing loud and clear: Jesus is alive!

5 Ways Scripture Helps Us Refocus and Embrace Renewal This Easter Season

1. Renew Your Mind

What we let enter into our mind—positive or negative—controls our emotions, actions, and beliefs.

What is bothering you right now? What is seeping into your psyche that keeps you up at night or troubles you during the day? Can you identify it? The news. Politics. Social media. Stock market. Cancel culture. COVID.

Whatever is stressing you, try a mental fast! Free your mind from everything that furrows your brow. You may never want to let those things have dominion over your thoughts again.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Personal Renewal: God wants us to rid our mind of worldly ways and saturate our mind with His wisdom. Proverbs is God’s Book of Wisdom, so try reading a proverb everyday and write it on an index card. When your thoughts begin to drift to things of this world, recite the day’s proverb. If you’re ambitious, read an entire chapter in Proverbs daily and in thirty-one days you’ll have read the entire Book of Proverbs. When you finish, start back at Proverbs 1:1. You can never be too wise!

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out. Proverbs 18:15

2. Renew Your Heart

God created us uniquely with our mind, heart, and spirit intertwined. A renewal of one affects the other two. A mind change touches our heart and our spirit nudges us to act according to our mind and heart. If our heart fills with compassion for a situation, our mind follows suit and again our spirit reminds us of how God wants us to act. We are to have the mind of Christ and what breaks His heart should break our heart too. Much in our world is surely breaking His heart!

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

Personal Renewal: Who could you invite to Easter services? Maybe you’ve asked them to join you at church before and they’ve declined or it’s someone you’re sure would say no. Perhaps your heart has become a bit hardened toward their spiritual future. Ask God for the courage to ask them anyway. This could be the Easter they say “Yes!” and their life changes forever.

If they say no, then commit to pray for them to say yes to God someday.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

3. Renew Your Commitments

A commitment is a sacred vow, a promise, to honor your word. Commitment often involves a sacrifice of putting others’ needs before your own needs, even when it’s inconvenient or painful.

Our Christian faith hinges on a commitment we make to Christ to follow Him and adhere to His Word, whether it’s easy or difficult. At Easter, we remember the ultimate cost Christ paid on the cross to fulfill His commitment to save a lost world. Now he expects us to honor our commitments to Him and to others.

Don’t let your mouth make you sin. And don’t defend yourself by telling the Temple messenger that the promise you made was a mistake. That would make God angry, and he might wipe out everything you have achieved. Ecclesiastes 5:6 NLT

Practical Renewal: Have you committed to something you wish you hadn’t? We’ve all been there. Learn from it and pray next time before you make a decision; but this time, follow through on your commitment. Backing out of a promise damages the credibility of your Christian witness.

All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37

4. Renew Your Testimony

There is no greater witness to God’s goodness than sharing what He has done in your life. No one can question your testimony because it’s your personal experience. The Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20) isn’t just for disciples and pastors; it’s for every follower and believer of Jesus Christ. You don’t have to be an evangelist to share your story.

As we mature and evolve spiritually, we retell our testimony to benefit others. You and I are Christians today because twelve disciples obediently followed Jesus’ command to tell the world the Good News. They shared their personal experience with the gospel to anyone who would listen and with many who didn’t listen.

When we become Christians, our charge is to tell the world why we love Jesus! Your story becomes your testimony when the focus is on God, not on you.

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:3-7

Personal Renewal: When you give God the glory for something in your life, you testify to God’s goodness. Your salvation testimony shares your life before Jesus. How He changed your heart and spiritually, maybe literally, saved your life. God has given you a story to share, so seize every opportunity to tell it. Sometimes God redeems your testimony by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past so it doesn’t become their future.

Who needs to hear this Easter what Christ has done for you?

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. 1 John 5:11-12

5. Renew Your Soul

Easter is springtime in our souls! God is calling His people into a closer relationship with Him so that we can share Jesus with others who need more of Him in their life . . . or don’t yet know Him.

The world is full of unsaved people stumbling in spiritual darkness and deceit. God calls every Christian to help the lost find their way to the light. When Jesus spoke . . . he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

We need to refresh, renew, and refuel our body, mind, and soul so the illuminating joy of Christ radiates from us!

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:30-31

Personal Renewal: Let the songs you sing on Easter and the messages you hear, revive your spirit and speak directly to your soul. Bask in the glow that Jesus is alive!

If you’re ready to arise and be God’s messenger, start praying now for those divine appointments where God will use you in a hurting and lonely world.

I pray this Easter season finds you refreshed, refocused, and renewed in your relationship with Christ and the purpose He has given each of us to keep the memory of Easter alive and vibrant, every day in our hearts, speech, and actions. Let us never forget:

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. Col. 2:13-14 (NLT)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

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Do You Need a Pardon?

Do you need a pardon?

Pardons were in the news last week as President Trump pardoned and commuted sentences of several prisoners. Speaking at a graduation ceremony for Hope for Prisoners, President Trump said that he “loves” finding those treated unfairly by the criminal justice system and offering them pardons.

The discussion of pardons started me thinking about how God has pardoned every Christian. Since Romans 3:23 reminds us that, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Christians are the recipients of unmerited grace and mercy.

In my Bible Study Face-to-Face with Euodia and Syntyche: From Conflict to Community, I describe it this way:

  • Justice is getting what you deserve.
  • Mercy is not getting everything you deserve.
  • Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.

Mercy is showing more love and kindness to a person than he or she expects or deserves. Undeserved pardon! Grace is undeserved forgiveness.

It’s so easy to look at the transgressions of others and say they deserved the punishment rendered, and often they do. But what about Christians who had their debt pardoned and paid for by Jesus who unjustly endured the brutal cross for us? He took the punishment that we deserved. That’s mercy! That’s grace!

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:1-5

All we had to do for a pardon was confess our sins to Jesus, ask for forgiveness, and repent! Our dark sins became white as snow. Erased! The Bible says that God has forgiven and forgotten and will never bring them up to us again.

“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool
. Isaiah 1:18

Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Acts 3:19 (NLT)

15 And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says,

16 “This is the new covenant I will make
with my people on that day,[
a] says the Lord:
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds.”[
b]

17 Then he says,

“I will never again remember
their sins and lawless deeds.”
Hebrews 10:15-17 (NLT)

What a gift! How did we deserve such a pardon? We didn’t! Yet, how often do we take our pardon for granted. Almost like we did deserve it. How often do we remember the price and penalty that Jesus paid for our release from the punishment due us? I would suggest, not often enough.

We may not have been in a cold, dark, prison cell, but we were in a cold, dark spiritual hellhole. Satan had us shackled to him in sin and shame. Then Jesus entered into our life and set us free. But Satan never gives up. He’s always trying to lure us back. We can never forget the cost of our pardon.

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

Sin Has Consequences

Just like with all pardoned prisoners, there will always be consequences of our sins that we will have to bear ourselves and assume the responsibility. God told the Israelites who refused to follow His lead, “You will bear the consequences of your sin . . .” (Numbers 14:34 HCSB)

As Christians, we must ask for Jesus’ help and strength to make restitution for our sinful behavior when possible. If we broke the civic law, or God’s law, we’ll pay the penalty. The scars will be with us, and possibly with others, for life. Often our actions negatively affected someone else. That’s on us. Jesus forgives us when we repent of our sins, but we may need to forgive others or seek their forgiveness and they might not grant it. The hurt is too deep. The debt too high.

But President Trump also told the crowd of 29 graduates from Hope for Prisoners, “the best part of your life is just beginning.” “Today we declare that you are made by God for a great and noble purpose. You are valued members of our American family and we are determined to help you succeed,” the president said.

And that’s what the Lord says to us too:

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. Micah 7:18

My Second Pardon

Do you need a pardon?

In Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I share my testimony of accepting Jesus into my life at eleven, but as an adult I backslid into a sinful life for seventeen years while raising my daughter. I was a prodigal raising a prodigal. I can’t change those years, but when I rededicated my life back to Christ, He gave me another pardon I did not deserve. Praise God, He is the God of endless pardons. I was a changed person—a new creation in Christ.

Like President Trump told the released prisoners, God did have a great and noble purpose for my life as He used me to start the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry and write and speak for Him.

But there were consequences to my wayward years. I had to ask my daughter for forgiveness, and while she didn’t understand what that meant at the time, she does now. I prayed and begged God daily to open her eyes to the life she could have with Christ. After six years of a mother’s prayers, she accepted Christ as her Savior.

No matter what you’ve done in your past, or are currently doing, Jesus waits eagerly to mercifully forgive you and restore your life for a great and noble purpose. All you need to do is ask Him for a pardon.

Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. Isaiah 55:7

________________________

God has put on my heart that my next writing project will focus on the loneliness epidemic in our culture. If you have a story of seasons of loneliness, or you’ve helped someone through their loneliness, I would love to hear your story. Please contact me or email at [email protected].

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How Do You Know You’re A Christian?

Talking about who is a Christian is a sensitive subject that sets me up for being called judgmental, Pharisee, legalistic, and a new one, “fundie.” I had to look it up because I had no idea what it meant:

fund·ie ˈfəndē/

noun

noun: fundie; plural noun: fundies

  1. Britishinformal

a fundamentalist, especially a Christian fundamentalist.

Well there you have it. Maybe you learned a new term too.

Saying You Are a Christian Is Not Good Enough!

[Tweet “I’m distressed how people casually call themselves a “Christian,” without really knowing what that designation means.”]

I’ve been called many things, which I’ll be talking more about next week, but I’m distressed with how people casually call themselves a “Christian,” without really knowing what that designation means. Some believe they’re a “Christian” if they simply know about God or believe there is a God. Attend, serve in, or raised in church, attended a Christian school, have Christian parents, own a Bible, or even live in America. No heart change by personally asking Jesus into their heart and seeking forgiveness for their sins or having a relationship with Jesus and believing that salvation comes through Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross and resurrection. No casting off the old way of life for the new life in Christ, but still buying into the world’s ways. Yet, still thinking of themselves as Christians.

[Tweet “These in-name-only “Christians” often claim to be more “enlightened” then born-again Christians, “]

These in-name-only “Christians” often claim to be more “enlightened” then born-again Christians, saved by grace–who confess our sins and ask Jesus to forgive us and come into our heart. We make a commitment to live in a relationship with Him. Christians who depend on God to help us live by the principles in His Word hidden in our heart. We have the assurance our names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life when our time comes to meet Jesus for eternity. We live in complete confidence and faith because Jesus is alive in our heart every day, and that’s what we celebrate next month at Easter. No question. Jesus is alive. We know that’s what it means when we say we’re a Christian!

Let me share with you four examples I encountered this week of the confusion in so many people’s minds of what it means to be a Christian. How is this happening? Why is it not clear to people? An immigrant understands the requirements to American citizenship and calling himself an American. How many have no idea how narrow the gate is into heavenly citizenship as a Christian? What does Jesus want you and me to do about this? Jesus wants none to perish.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matt. 7:13-14

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

  1.  Example: I am a Christian and so is my wife, although she is much more likely to describe herself as a feminist.

I’m sure there are Christian women entrapped by the feminists movement. But if being an activist takes priority over being a Christian, that’s a crisis of faith. If a woman identifies with the feminist movement instead of Christ, she’s replaced Christianity with feminism, or perhaps never knew Christ as her personal Savior. Here are several discussion points if you know a Christian feminist:

  • Research the background of the leaders of the feminist movement. None are Christians! They belong to other “isms,” and organization, but none profess to follow Jesus so why would you follow them?
  • Would you wear the “pink knitted hats,” carry the signs made for the marches, and chant the protests in or around your church?
  • Jesus loves the little children and He does not want one to perish. The central focus of the feminists is abortion. Some women in the marches were carrying signs that said Jesus’ mother Mary should have had an abortion. You can’t pick and choose what part of their agenda you want to endorse. How can you overlook these things as a Christian?
  • Jesus made Eve to be a helpmate to Adam, not to compete with or emasculate him.
  • Look up the goals of the feminist movement and try to justify them with Scripture.
  • Research Scriptures on how Christian women are to conduct themselves, even when they don’t like someone.
  1. Example: I go to a Christian church every Sunday and during Lent I go every day. I went to religious schools and my parents are Christian.

You’ve heard the saying that standing in the garage doesn’t make you a car. Going to church, even going every day and going during Lent, Christmas or Easter, doesn’t make us a Christian. Going to Christian schools, having Christian parents, reading Christian books, even reading the Bible, or being baptized doesn’t make us a Christian. It’s a personal decision that no one else can make for us, and Jesus is clear when He says we must be born again. I wonder how many people who call themselves “Christians” have actually asked Jesus to come into their heart, experienced that change of heart, and been spiritually born again.

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again. John 3:3

Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Acts 2:38

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

  1. Example: I attend church regularly and volunteer there. I believe in separation of church and state and we should keep God out of our politics, as our forefathers intended.

Attending church and serving is wonderful, but works doesn’t make us a Christian. And we can’t keep God out of anything. God is omnipotent. He has all the power over everything. We don’t tell Him what to do or where He can go. But even many believers think: I trust God with eternity, but I make my own decisions down here.

  1. Example:As a Christian woman, I understand persecution, but I will not sit here and be persecuted,” Brazile said. “Your information is totally false.” —Donna Brazile in an interview with Megyn Kelley regarding the validity of the WikiLeaks emails that Brazile gave candidate Hillary Clinton’s camp debate questions.

March 17 the headlines were Brazile Admits She Forwarded Town Hall Questions to Clinton Camp after almost a year of denying —lying—even when leaked emails were evidence that she had cheated. But even worse, she tried to evoke Jesus as her alibi! Some would say she’s now making amends by confessing. Looking closer at the “essay” she wrote for Time Magazine, she only admits to passing along “topics,” not the specific questions, which the leaked emails show she did. The focus of her Time essay is blaming the Russians and Donald Trump, so it’s back to Eve in the Garden. Never does she humbly ask for forgiveness from the American people or from God. No sign of true repentance, which one would expect from a “Christian woman.” As one reporter said, there never is any guilt assigned. Every Christian knows confession is only complete when you humbly take full responsibility for your mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and repent . . . not shift the blame.

[Tweet “Every Christian knows confession is only complete when you humbly take full responsibility for your mistakes,”]

We don’t know Brazile’s faith background, but she may have used “Christian” in the interview to get Kelley to back off because the perception is that Christians tell the truth. She also claimed “persecuted” when she was actually receiving an opportunity to admit the truth.

In a Fox News panel discussing Brazile’s Time “confession,” Meghan McCain mentioned she was disappointed because Brazile had offered to pray for Meghan if she ever needed it. Our witness is always on trial as Christians.

Perhaps political zeal was too big a temptation when so many thought Clinton would win. But as happens so often when we defy God’s ways, it backfired. As God brings Donna Brazile to mind, pray she will truly repent and not just regret she sent the emails, but seek forgiveness.

For there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. Matt 10:26

[Tweet “litmus test for knowing that you’re a Christian is when you can confidently—no doubts—answer the question the Gideon’s asked us in church this morning:”]

I suppose the litmus test for knowing that you’re a Christian is when you can confidently—no doubts—answer the question the Gideon’s asked us in church this morning: Where are you going to spend eternity?

Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3

But these are written that you may believe[a] that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.—John 20:31

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Should Christians Be Political?

I had little response to last week’s blog post, Love Your Body: Revive Sexual Purity so I don’t know if . . .

  • You didn’t read it?
  • It was too long?
  • You think purity is impossible today?
  • It was too sensitive a subject?
  • I tried to cover too much territory?

I don’t know unless I hear from you, but since none of you unsubscribed, I’ll carry on with another topic on my heart throughout the election and continues into the firestorm that has erupted since President Trump’s Inauguration.

Some say Christians shouldn’t . . .

(a) Express political views or participate in politics

(b) Speak out on politicized moral issues

Here is my discussion and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Christians Need to Run for Political Office and Get Involved in Politics

[Tweet “Christians Need to Run for Political Office and Get Involved in Politics”]

Prayer is the heartbeat of every Christian’s life. When we pray heaven hears our voices. James 4:2 tells us that we have not because we ask not. We pray for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven, but then God expects us to be His hands and feet on this earth doing His will. We come out of our prayer closets, clothed in the armor of God (Eph. 6:10-18) and go into action representing God to a lost world. That might be figuratively turning over the money-changers booths like Jesus did in the temple, or calling out the “Pharisees,” or like Jesus, Paul, and the disciples confronting sinners and sharing the Gospel. Or like Paul, mentoring the churches when they fall back into old sinful ways or are easily misled by false teachers.

[Tweet “Stay close to God through prayer, seek His will, and then do His will.”]

Stay close to God through prayer, seek His will, and then do His will.

The disciples didn’t stay in the Upper Room. They prayed and with the anointing of the Holy Spirit, went out into the world.

[Tweet “Churches have allowed the government to politicize moral issues in our country”]

Churches and Christians have allowed the government to politicize moral issues in our country, complaining and lamenting, but doing little to stop the takeover. Christians have an obligation to seize any opportunity to reclaim those moral issues and rights for the good of our country and generations to come. I’m speaking specifically about issues like:

  • The legalization of abortion—58 million babies murdered since Roe vs Wade—moral not political
  • Our tax dollars funding barbaric abortions through Planned Parenthood—moral not political
  • Marriage redefined by unelected Federal Judges—moral not political
  • Teachers allowed to talk about Mohammad and Gandhi, but can’t mention Jesus—moral not political
  • A football coach fired because he kneels after a game and prays—moral not political
  • Schools required to allow men to go into girls bathrooms—moral not political
  • White House lit up in gay pride colors—moral not political
  • Removing God from the public square in a country founded on Judeo Christian principles—moral not political.
  • Requiring all Americans to endorse, legitimatize, and participate in LGBT practices—moral not political
  • Calling sin, sin is “hate speech” and intimidating pastors—moral not political.

I could go on. You get the idea. If we had elected another liberal progressive Democrat, and Christians continued to remain silent, we would have had little recourse but to lament even more loss of our religious moral freedoms, as Clinton clearly said Christians would have to change our faith and beliefs.

But that didn’t happened. Evangelicals rose up and said enough is enough. We chose a candidate, who while imperfect and not the devout Christian candidate we were looking for, he heard us and promised to restore and protect our freedoms. And in his first two weeks in office, President Trump started doing exactly that:

  • Defunded Planned Parenthood in other countries
  • Nominated a Christian Conservative for Supreme Court Justice
  • Took action in Congress to repeal the Johnson Amendment to restore the right of pastors to preach the Bible. They were losing the religious freedom to call sin, sin.

Tony Perkins was on the mark when he said, “The United States would look much different today if it wasn’t for the pastors throughout American history who cried out for social justice. Since the birth of our nation, pastors and churches have been at the forefront of shaping public policy and debate. That is where they need to be today. What would America look like today had the Rev. Lyman Beecher [Harriet Beecher Stowe’s father], a leading abolitionist, or Dr. Martin Luther King been muzzled by the IRS. It would have been a much, much different country than what we see today.”

Now the naysayers are still saying President Trump is not a Christian, but only he and God know where he is spiritually. I refer you to my blog Why Aren’t All Christians Extending Grace and Forgiveness to Trump. He has surrounded himself with a Cabinet of many Christians, a born-again Vice President, and here is the point of this blog . . .

The oxymoron and dichotomy I hear is that …

We want a Christian president and Christian politicians in DC and local government, but we don’t want Christians talking about or participating in politics?

We don’t think Christians should campaign or try to get people to vote because that’s too political?

We want laws that are moral, ethical, and pursue God’s values, but Christians aren’t willing to run for office?

We pray Christians are elected who will uphold God’s ways, but we don’t think Christians should be political! Say what?

[Tweet “If we want Christians in government, we need to pray for men and women to answer the call to take on political roles, and then we need to get behind them”]

If we want Christians in government, we need to pray for men and women to answer the call to take on political roles, and then we need to get behind them with prayer, campaign support, energy, finances, our voices, whatever it takes to get them elected. Not criticize them as having a profession unworthy of a Christian, but encourage them because they want to make a difference in the jungle of politics. A light in the darkness.

Maybe God is calling you to run for office!

When Franklin Graham made his Pray for America tour and went to every Capitol in the nation, he encouraged Christians to run for public office because we need believers championing Christian values at every level of government. Ironically, as government keeps touting a separation of church and state, government is invading the church. President Trump understands the original intent of the Constitution, and he is giving us back our religious freedoms. We need to make sure we never lose them again!

Satan is Dividing Christians, Not President Trump

I’ve never been a “political person,” but I am a spiritual person, and I’ve watched over the last eight years how the progressive liberal agenda has steadily worked to take God out of America by invading our government, our schools, our universities, and sadly even some of our churches. When Obama ran for President the first time, he participated in a presidential candidate debate held at Saddleback Church where Pastor Rick Warren asked him and John McCain if they believed marriage was between a man and a woman. Obama said he did. In his second term, same-sex marriage was legalized and Obama lit up the White House in LGBT colors and was working hard at forcing every American to accept transgender men in women’s bathrooms and locker rooms, starting in our schools!

After writing Forsaken God? Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten, I knew this last election was a spiritual battle more than a political battle. Just look at the obstruction and chaos the liberal Democrats have created in the streets and in D.C. Listen to their language, read their signs, hear the bleeps during the protests and the confusion when asked if they even know what they’re protesting.

Watching the National Prayer Breakfast last week, I heard one of the speakers say he was sure there were secretly ordained pastors in the House and Senate: “saints in Caesar’s household.” I thought how sad they had to stay secret. Probably because they would be devoured by the lions.

[Tweet “Only Satan can divide Christians whether it’s in a church, a marriage, a friendship “]

I see headlines, even in some Christian magazines, that say President Trump is dividing Christians. That’s not possible. Only Satan can divide Christians whether it’s in a church, a marriage, a friendship…. Christians have the same unifier: Jesus Christ. The One and Only Lord is who we all pray to, talk to, put our faith in, have residing in our heart.

He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world.

President Trump said the five words that touched his heart the most on the campaign trail were, and still are, “I am praying for you.”

As a Christian, you should be praying like crazy for President Trump’s success because that’s America’s success. Pray for him to mature in his faith. He’s rough around the edges. He has a big job ahead of him, and as he said in his own words in a CBN interview I heard, “I need God and prayer now more than ever because my decisions are life and death.”

I encourage you to listen to the Annual Prayer Breakfast. It was a blessing to see Republicans and Democrats from the House and Senate leading the event and praying together. They talked about a group of them—Republicans and Democrats—getting together for prayer every morning and at a weekly Bible study group. The Chiefs of Staff have a Bible study on Wednesday, and the 100 staffers meet on Fridays for Bible study. Barry Black, the Senate Chaplain who gave the Keynote, said Democrats and Republicans meet together, hold hands, and open and close those groups in prayer. They may go upstairs and oppose each other politically, but unite spiritually.

I would pray the world would see that same spiritual unity in us. Our hope isn’t built on whether we’re Democrat or Republican, black or white, whether you like President Trump or not . . . they should see that we place our faith and our hope in the Word of God, the Holy Bible, and Jesus Christ, Our Lord. We stand together as Christians One Nation Under God.

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth. 1 Timothy 2:1-4 NLT

Please also read a blog I wrote for Crosswalk.com You Can Disagree and Still be Friends

Have you heard Reba McEntire’s New Song? Here’s the video. You’ll enjoy it. Back To God

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What is Your Apology Language?

 Sienna's graduation day from Kindergarten

“I hear you, but I don’t know what you said . . .”

That was the response from 5-year-old granddaughter Sienna after I had given her and her two older siblings three things to remember about going to the pool that day. When I asked them each to repeat back to me what I said, Sienna couldn’t remember. Finally, she cried out the above statement.

An “ah ha” moment for me.

Flashing before my eyes were all the frustrated conversations I had had with my husband when he couldn’t remember something I had said. I would say, “You don’t listen to me.” To which he would respond, “I am listening to you. I hear you.” There we would be at a standstill . . . . if he heard me, why didn’t he know what I said?

Then little Sienna put it all in perspective—I wasn’t speaking his or her “language.” I wasn’t saying things in a way that resonated with them, so they had no idea what I said.

5 Love Languages

As I’ve said in earlier posts, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the bestseller 5 Love Languages, was our speaker for the Love Song Couples Getaway. You are probably familiar with his conclusions that we all have a love language and we typically love others in the “language” that speaks to us. They are:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of service
4. Quality time
5. Physical touch

He commented that usually a husband and wife have different love languages or “dialects,” and it’s important we learn to speak the language of our spouse. My love language is acts of service, and my husband’s is physical touch. So if I hold his hand while we’re walking somewhere or when we’re sitting next to each other, he feels loved and happy. If he sees things that need fixing around the house and fixes them without me asking or reminding him, I feel loved and cherished.

Interestingly, our children and teenagers all have a love language too, and it’s vital that parents learn what makes their children feel loved. Not speaking their love language can lead to a rebellious teen.

For more information, and to take a test to determine your love language, go to Dr. Chapman’s website.

5 Apology Languages

[Tweet “We all have an apology language. Do you know yours?”]

New to me was Dr. Chapman’s discovery that people apologize five basic ways. We all have an “apology language” which makes us feel the apology is sincere. If you don’t apologize in the language that speaks to me, there’s a good chance I’ll have trouble believing that you really mean it.

Here they are:
1. Expressing regret: “I’m sorry that I . . . .” Note that just saying, “I’m sorry” is not enough. These people need to hear what you are sorry for, and for goodness sake, don’t follow it with “but . . . .”
2. Accepting responsibility: “I was wrong . . . .”
3. Offering to make restitution: “What can I do to make this right?”
4. Genuinely repenting or desire to change: “I don’t like what I just did. I don’t want it to keep happening.”
5. Requesting forgiveness: “Will you forgive me?” If you want to communicate a sincere apology that the other person receives well, you have to learn the other person’s apology language.

[Tweet “If you’re having trouble forgiving, maybe they aren’t speaking your apology language”]

What is Your Apology Language?

If you don’t know what speaks to you as a sincere apology allowing you to forgive, Dr. Chapman said to ask yourself these three questions:
1. When I apologize, what do I typically say or do?
2. What hurts me most deeply about this situation? Why am I having trouble forgiving? This person needs #4, a repentance apology because they feel like someone is saying just they’re sorry, but keep on offending.
3. What could they say, or do, that would make it easier for me to forgive them?

If You’re Married . . .

Pastor Rick on couples forgivingPastor Rick Warren at Saddleback Church

In my Bible study, Face-to-Face with Euodia and Syntyche: From Conflict to Community, I discuss forgiveness myths that often keep us from receiving the peace that comes from forgiving someone, whether or not they apologize.

EuodiaSyntycheCover72dpi1-200x300

 

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Forgiveness. . . . Forgiveness. . . .

Rick Warren on Twitter: “Someone on the internet sold Matthew an unregistered gun. I pray he seeks God’s forgiveness. I forgive him.

MATTHEW 6:15″

Like us, many of you were saddened and shocked to learn of the loss of Pastor Rick Warren’s 27-year old son, Matthew, who took his own life after suffering for years with depression and mental illness.

Pastor Rick is like extended family to my husband Dave and me. Dave and I attended Saddleback Church for over 23 years, and twenty years ago, we met each other in a small group. We’ve watched Saddleback church grow from meeting in a high school gym, to the mega church the world knows today.

Pastor Rick will always be “our pastor.” Even though we have since moved to another state and are members of a church in our community . . . . we’re still all in the family of God. And so it is that Dave and I mourn and grieve with Pastor Rick and Kay and our extended Saddleback family.

The Grieving Process Can Lead To or Away from God

Matthew took his own life with a purchased gun, but someone took my father’s life with his own gun. He was a California Highway Patrolman killed in the line of duty while trying to help the very man who killed him. My father had chosen a career protecting his community. He died two weeks before his 37th birthday doing exactly what he had signed on to do.

My mother shook her fist at God and said no just God would ever allow this to happen. I watched my mother’s bitterness and anger cause her to deteriorate emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally . . . resulting in a difficult childhood for my sister and me. Praise God, two years after my father’s death, I was invited to a church youth camp where I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

But when I became an adult, mom and I were estranged for 15 years. Then one of Pastor Rick’s sermons went straight to my heart when he said, “You’ll never experience true love if there’s someone in your life you haven’t forgiven.” I had been a single mom for 17 years and realized that if I didn’t forgive my mom, I would probably never have a happy marriage relationship. I did forgive her and within months, met my wonderful godly husband Dave.

Misconceptions Stop Us from Forgiving

In my Bible study, Face-to-Face with Euodia and Syntyche: From Conflict to Community, I discuss the myths about forgiveness and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation:

FORGIVENESS is not allowing anyone else to control your emotional life except GOD!

FORGIVENESS is VERTICAL between God and you.

RECONCILIATION is HORIZONTAL between you and the other person

If you’re struggling with forgiveness or difficult relationships, studying Face-to-Face with Euodia and Syntyche will help you discover biblical ways of resolving conflict. Here are several of the myths that prevent us from granting unconditional forgiveness:

FORGIVENESS MYTHS I LEARNED FROM PASTOR RICK

MYTH #1:  Forgiveness must be quick like God’s forgiveness.


TRUTH: Forgiveness is a process.

MYTH #2:  If I forgive, that means that the offense was “ok.”

TRUTH: Forgiveness does not make sin into good. Sin is never “ok.”

MYTH #3:  I cannot forgive until I can forget, just like God does.

TRUTH: We are not God. When God forgives, He doesn’t need to learn anything. We do!

MYTH #4:  If I forgive, I have to reconcile with the person.

TRUTH: You do not have to be reconciled to forgive, but you do have to be able to forgive in order to reconcile.

“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges” (Colossians 3:13 TLB).

Who do you need to forgive so you can be free from the chains of bitterness and anger? You can do it! Listen to Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness” ,which starts out…

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

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