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How to Have a Date with Jesus

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FullSizeRender-1 (2)Be My Valentine!

I know I don’t have to remind you that this Saturday is Valentine’s Day! A day we set aside for showing that special someone how much they mean to us. It can also be a difficult time for someone who doesn’t have an object of his or her affection to dote on or be the recipient of doting … but it doesn’t need to be a sad day for those who know Jesus as their First Love!

[Tweet “Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a sad day for those who know Jesus as their First Love!”]

My First Prayer Garden

[Tweet “My husband was not first in my love life, Jesus was.”]

 Almost twenty years ago, the revelation hit me that even though I was happily married after being single for 17 years, my husband was not first in my love life, Jesus was. And shouldn’t I approach my special time with Jesus each day with the same attitude I would lavish on my earthly love, Dave. So I set about finding a special place to spend with my First Love every day and I called it my prayer garden. At this time, we were living in sunny Southern California so I could have my quiet time outside almost every day. I’ll share with you in a moment how I’ve carried on this date with Jesus in my new home of Idaho. Here is the story that I wrote in 2001 of how I initially created the special “date” atmosphere in California.

[Tweet “I set about finding a special place to spend with my First Love every day “]

Thinking of Jesus as the lover of my soul and the One I love above all others, gave me the idea of creating a romantic atmosphere for my daily “Quiet Time” with Jesus. It needed all the touches of a special date. First, it must be quiet and free of interruptions, so that meant outside. Since my backyard is all cement, I arranged colorful potted plants in a shaded alcove of the patio and hung a humming bird feeder. I placed a chair for Jesus and a chair for me with a small table in the center for a romantic fragrant candle. I later added wind chimes, and my son-in-law made a waterfall. Walla I had a Prayer Garden.

 

My Prayer Garden

My Prayer Garden

My Date Bag with Jesus is always Packed

[Tweet “My Date Bag with Jesus is always packed”]

Then I pack a ‘date bag’ with my Bible, a journal, devotional, highlighters, pens, Post-it notes, current Bible Study, and oh yes, a lighter for the candle. One trip back into the house for something I forgot could be a major distraction. prayer garden 1

My “Date Bag” with Jesus

First thing every morning, I grab my cup of coffee, my date bag, a blanket or sweater if it is chilly, and head out for my date with Jesus in our Prayer Garden. Here is a major key to intimate time with my First Love—I shut the door to ALL interruptions. The answering machine gets the phone, and the family knows I am having my Jesus date when the Do Not Disturb sign is out.

When our date is finished, I repack my date bag and put it back in the same spot every time by the patio door so it is ready for tomorrow’s big date. If the weather is not good, Jesus and I curl up together on the couch, and I play soft instrumental worship music in the background.

[Tweet “To keep romance exciting, it’s good to vary the activities on dates”]

To keep romance exciting, it’s good to vary the activities on dates, so I constantly add freshness to my Quiet Time with variety. Each Christmas, I pick out a new devotional for the coming year. I select one with an area for journaling love letters to the Lord. I start my Quiet Time date by praying the armor of God from Ephesians 6:10-18 and would never think of going into my day without this spiritual protection. I alternate working on my small group Bible studies or one I am doing for fun. Some years I read completely through the Bible, and other times, I leisurely enjoy the Scriptures.

[Tweet “I sit back close my eyes and linger in conversational prayer, letting my First Love talk to me.”]

At the end of our date, I sit back close my eyes and linger in conversational prayer, letting my First Love talk to me. He always whispers words of love and endearment as He reveals His plans, visions, and goals for us. Often, there are answers to prayers and questions, and many times, we just share a sweet silence. Like any wonderful date, I hate for it to end, but I know my First Love will be waiting eagerly for our special date tomorrow.

Idaho Quiet Times

Now that we live in Idaho with its four seasons, my Quiet Time locations change with the season: when the weather is nice, I’m out on the deck and when it’s snowing or cold I have a quiet time area right outside my office with a beautiful view out the window. I still have my Quiet Time bag packed and ready to go depending on where I’m having my date with Jesus. It’s my most favorite part of the day!

View from deck quiet times.

View from deck quiet times.

Indoors Quiet Time

Indoors Quiet Time

 

 

View from Indoor Quiet Time!Indoor Quiet Time View

[Tweet “Tell me about your dates with Jesus. “]

How about you? Tell me about your dates with Jesus. Leave a comment below, or if you receive my blogs by email click and leave a comment.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here is a poem I wrote about my California Prayer Garden. Enjoy!

OUR PRAYER GARDEN

You wanted to meet me early in the morning

          In a place that was special to just you and me.

My heart was willing, and I had such a yearning

          To talk and be in your presence daily.


I began to arise just after the sun came up,

          And searched for a place where we could meet.

It had to be quiet where no one would interrupt,

          For the time that we shared would be so sweet.

 

I moved from room to room,

          As I tried to find the aura,

For you and me to just commune

          Every day at the same hour.

 

As we began to spend our time,

          I felt you nudging as I would pray:

“Our get-togethers need fresh air and sunshine.

          Let’s be amongst the beauty of the day.”

 

Of course, it was there all along.

          The table, the patio, the view–

I had all the makings for a Prayer Garden,

          But flowers were sadly very few.

 

A “green thumb” I have never been,

          But I knew this was the spot for us.

And it would not be a Prayer Garden,

          Without the ferns, oleanders and hibiscus.

 

A shopping trip to the nursery was fun,

          Even though I didn’t know what to buy.

Some flowers wanted shade and others liked sun,

          So I just bought what caught my eye.

 

Soon my garden was worthy of comment.

          The flower beds were colorful and in full blossom,

And the array of potted plants carpeted the cement.

          The transformation was truly awesome.

 

One final touch called out to me,

          Wind chimes to catch Your breath in the breeze.

A hummingbird feeder for quiet company,

          In the place where we will meet when ‘er You please.

Jesus, I know now why you sought a garden

          When you went to pray alone that night.

Amongst Your creation God’s presence is sovereign,              

          You just know God’s plans will turn out right.

Janet Thompson 7/17/96

 

February 9, 2015
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Writing Meaningful Fiction

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1956971_964332196917921_7242268008272353250_o-1Legitimate Lies by Julie B. Cosgrove

To date, all of my books are non-fiction, but I have been studying how to write fiction for years. Someday, I’m sure God will give me a story to tell, but it hasn’t happened yet! I know that many of you have considered writing fiction so I asked author Julie B. Cosgrove to share with us some tips on how she writes fiction. Her latest book Legitimate Lies, released January 14.

[Tweet “every writer, especially a Christian one, should create with a message in mind.”]

I think a writer, especially a Christian one, should create with a message in mind. This is true for fiction as well as non-fiction. It is not enough to just tell a story, though everyone loves a good tale. But there should be a moral element to it. What can the reader learn while journeying with the character? What trials and triumphs occur, and what are their outcomes? Does good succeed over evil? Does the guy get the girl because he is sincerely loves and honors her?

[Tweet “POV (point of view or main) character should have triumph over a moral struggle “]

Above all else, my POV (point of view or main) character should have triumph over a moral struggle and come out stronger in his or her faith because of it. God’s redemptive love should halo the outcome. And hopefully, this character’s journey will also influence positively others, including the reader. I want my readers to pump their fists and whisper, “Yes!” at the end, even if they are twirling a facial tissue between their fingers as well.

But, I also want two more things from my readers—and these are my main goals. First, I want them to experience my character’s life as closely as if they were sitting on his or her shoulder. Mary DeMuth, a rather famous Christian author, once gave out toy telescopes in a workshop and told us what we, as authors, see through it is all our readers should see as well. This technique adds suspense and gives the reader personal ownership in the character. It keeps the action real and at ground level. No omnipotent observer tantalizes the reader with, “But if only she knew what lay around the corner.”

As a result, I strive to not reveal too much, even though I hope the reader may wonder from time to time, “Oh no, she didn’t just do that, did she? Didn’t she see that coming?” I use a good deal of sensory perceptions and body language in my writing so the reader can visualize the scenes as if they were watching them on their TV or computer. In fact, several people who have read my novels claim that is exactly what their experience felt like.

As a freelance writer, I once landed an eighteen-month contract writing articles for a travel website. Solely by internet surfing, I had to recreate places of interest from the view points of parents, business people and pet owners. Doing that gave me valuable insight into scene description. I hope my readers taste, feel, hear and see what is going on along with my characters.

Secondly, I want readers to become aware of a current social issue and how tenacious faith can bring about a positive result. However, I strive to make the plots and characters’ reactions realistic, accurate and meaningful. Therefore, I put in a lot of research and interview numerous professionals who deal with these dilemmas every day.

[Tweet “Through my keyboard I can mentor other women”]

I hope that, through my keyboard, I can mentor to other women (and men) about the numerous ways God is present in all circumstances to guide, comfort and correct us. Love does triumph, and evil can be defeated. There are no lengthy sermons, or paragraphs of Scriptural interpretations in my novels that may take the reader out of the scene. Instead, through dialog, self-thought, and action, I want each reader, after traveling vicariously with my characters, to be encouraged to seek a deeper relationship with our Lord and Savior as well as find the courage to tackle his or her own earthly battles when they arise.

My Books

In my first novel, Focused, I wrote about an empty-nest couple who realize their marriage is salvageable, even though both had slipped into humdrum patterns, there’s still a love-spark to fan into a flame again. When I read how many marriages end in divorce after the death of a parent or the child leaving home, I wanted to address this through the eyes of both husband and wife in a heartfelt yet light-hearted manner.

Focused

In Hush in the Storm, the horrors of human trafficking and what the average American woman can and should never do to thwart it, is an underlying theme. This evil invades every city and small town in our nation and throughout the world. But, there are positive, productive things each of us can do about it. The primary theme of the book is a grieving young widow finding the strength to move on and love again.

Hush in the Storm

In my new release for 2015, Legitimate Lies, recovery from the guilt of wrong decisions and out-of-marriage sex is touched upon. When we harbor guilt, it can block us from fully experiencing God’s love for us, and love from others. The “What if they find out?” question is always there. Many people live with lies— the proverbial skeletons in their closets. In this novel, just about every character has them, which keep the reader guessing.

Yet in all three, the main character is the primary focus—her life, her struggles and her discovering that God is right there with her all along. And yes, there is a romance to sweeten the plot in each of my novels, plus sprinklings of suspense to keep you flipping the pages.

A novella, Navy Blues, which launches in July 2015, speaks to love being other-person-orientated despite our society’s self-centered, “I have a right” attitude in today’s world.

Another novel, Freed to Forgive, which will premiere in October 2015, deals with how an unforgiving spirit, no matter how heinous the act against us, can poison our outlook on life and block us from fully embracing God’s redemptive love.

To preview any of my books, fiction or non-fiction, you may go to www.juliebcosgrove.com . All in e-tablet and paperback formats through major retailers such as Amazon. I would appreciate you following my inspirational blog, Where Did You Find God Today? , and liking me on Facebook. Thanks.

Janet’s note:

Julie makes this statement and I would like to know your opinion as a reader of Christian fiction: As a Christian author, I believe I have a standard to set, although even amongst this tightly controlled community there are differing opinions. Should there be any sex at all, even if the scene tactfully fades to black? Can the characters share a glass of wine? Are any “mild cuss words” allowed if it fits the character’s personality?

What are your thoughts on Julie’s question? Please leave a comment:

If you’re reading this blog online, click on the “leave a comment” silver circle on the right at the end of this blog and a comment box will appear for you to leave your comment.

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Look for an interview with Julie B. Cosgrove in February’s About His Work Newsletter and a chance to win a copy of her new book, Legitimate Lies.

2nd_prof_portrait_crop_267x405-1

Julie B Cosgrove is a professional speaker, workshop leader, freelance writer and multi-published author. She has penned several Bible studies, inspirational books, and faith-based romantic suspense novels, and writes regularly for numerous Christian websites and publications. She is a member of Advanced Speakers and Writers, American Christian Fiction Writers, North Texas Christian Writers, and has achieved the highest goal in Toastmasters in public speaking, the Advanced Communicator Gold. She is widowed and lives in Fort Worth, TX with two cats.

February 2, 2015
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Love Your Body with a Healthy Happy Heart

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Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Today is Love Your Body Monday, the last Monday of the month. This weekend ushers in February so I want to share with you a post about heart health since February is National Heart Disease Awareness Month.

[Tweet “Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women.”]

You may be unaware that heart disease, not cancer, is the leading cause of death for women. Many of you know that I am a three-time breast cancer survivor, and I’m happy to say that I do have a very healthy heart, which I attribute to healthy eating and exercise. But my dear friend Grace Marestaing, who mentored me through breast cancer and to whom I dedicate my book Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide to Women on the Breast Cancer Journey, died in her sleep from Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) after surviving a double mastectomy and chemotherapy. Grace had no idea she had CHF.

[Tweet “Pamela Christian is a woman who miraculously survived sudden cardiac arrest “]

Pamela Christian was only in her 40’s when she miraculously survived sudden cardiac arrest and now devotes her life to increasing awareness to save physical and spiritual lives.

Pamela was working in ministry for over ten years when she literally died before defibrillation revived her. When she speaks about heart disease, Pamela asks her audiences, “What do faith and life insurance have in common?” Then she explains, “Both need to be fully in place before there’s a crisis.” From her own experience, she works to help people grasp the fragility of human life and the reality of life hereafter.

Pamela answers some questions about her near-death experience:

Pamela, you’ve been in ministry for over 20 years, but something happened in your life that greatly intensified your ministry work, tell us about that.

Yes, that “something” was a sudden cardiac arrest. I got up like any other morning, only that day I had the chance to play tennis with three women I’d not played with before. I thought the symptoms were simply a bad case of nerves. However, over the course of about twenty minutes, as my symptoms worsened, it became apparent it was much more than nerves.

You actually died. If it weren’t for the quick response to the 9-1-1- call and the Emergency Medical Professionals who witnessed your sudden cardiac arrest progression, ultimately defibrillating you, you wouldn’t be here today.

[Tweet “I was flat-lined for about one full minute”]

That’s exactly right. They documented that my heart completely stopped. I was flat-lined for about one full minute or more and during that time, my soul and spirit entered a different dimension, one that I can’t possibly describe because there are no human words to express the glorious, euphoric dimension. I can only refer to it as the threshold of heaven. I knew I was in the center of God’s sovereign care. I had no sense of any external limits, just that I was in the very center.

There was a white light off in the distance, but it didn’t beckon me. It was incredibly peaceful—again no adequate words to describe the feeling. I was aware that I was a wife and mother and not on earth or with my family, but I knew they were also in God’s sovereign care. So when the paramedics zapped me with the defibrillators, and I could sense being drawn back to my body, I felt agitated that anyone would disturb me. I didn’t want to leave that experience.

You’ve since expanded your ministry to include a heart-disease awareness effort. I love the name “Bless Your Heart.” Tell us a little more about that.

After my experience, I set out to learn more about cardiovascular disease and I learned that it, not cancer, is the leading cause of death for women. Next month is February, national heart-disease awareness month, so I’m grateful for this opportunity to share. Bless Your Heart is an awareness campaign with the slogan, “Helping Women Everywhere, Become Aware,” because with awareness we can save lives. I had no clue that my mild symptoms were the onset of sudden cardiac arrest. For most women, the symptoms are so mild that we dismiss them.

People need to know too, that sudden cardiac arrest is very different from a heart attack. Until recently, sudden cardiac arrest was sudden cardiac death—no one survived. Now with the increased accessibility of defibrillators, about 5% of witnessed victims who receive defibrillation survive.

You’ve written a power-packed E-book entitled Bless Your Heart, Your Health and Your Life – A Lifestyle Plan that Puts You in Charge. Briefly tell us about it.

Pamela Christians book

Learning that proper information, diet, and exercise, can prevent many deaths from cardiovascular disease, I had to make the information available. I’m happy to offer a PDF version of my booklet to one of your readers today. It’s available on Kindle and through my website store.

With your near-death experience, most people would slow down, but you’ve increased your ministry work. Why is that?

[Tweet “When the day comes that we die, our soul and spirit will live on somewhere else.”]

I know that God created humans with a temporal body, eternal soul, and spirit. When the day comes that we die, our soul and spirit will live on somewhere else. I’ve studied the major world religions and New Age, and I’m confident that the Bible and the Christian faith provide the only reasonable explanation for our existence. Sadly, Christian faith in America is on a steady decline as people succumb to the lie that truth is relative and all roads lead to the same God and heaven.

[Tweet “Having tasted the reality of heaven, I must spend my time helping others discover the only legitimate Truth”]

Having tasted the reality of heaven, I must spend my time helping others discover the only legitimate Truth—only belief in Jesus Christ leads to heaven. That’s why I wrote my first two books in my Faith to Live By book series, Examine Your Faith! Finding Truth in a World of Lies endorsed by Josh McDowell, and released late 2014, and Renew Your Hope! Remedy for Personal Breakthroughs, endorsed by Dr. Charles H. Kraft and others.

The reviews have been exceedingly gratifying. It’s available at all major retailers and on my web site pamelachristianministries.com. My desire is to help many more people discover and live in life-giving truth and it’s eternal hope.

No one wants to live his or her life based on a lie. But, unless we intentionally examine what we believe and why we believe it, we could very easily be deceived and not know it. Unless our hope is firmly rooted in truth, we are without hope.

Since the human soul and spirit are eternal, and what we believe in this life determines our destiny, shouldn’t the single most important quest in life be discovering the Truth?

Thank you Pam for all you do and for sharing your heart with us today.

Warning Signs of Cardiovascular Disease

All women need to be aware of the warning signs of cardiovascular disease and learn how to help save lives. Visit Pamela’s Bless Your Heart Campaign website.

Pamela’s print books are available at all major retailers.

You can hear her amazing story at blessyourheartcampaign.com.

Win a Free Book

Pamela is offering a free PDF version of her booklet Bless Your Heart, Your Health and Your Life – A Lifestyle Plan that Puts You in Charge to one of you!

If you’re reading this blog online, click on the “leave a comment” silver circle on the right at the end of this blog and a comment box will appear for you to leave your comment.

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Pamela Christian

For over twenty years, Pamela Christian has been helping people in matters of faith. Ministry for Pam began as Teaching Director for Community Bible study, followed by speaking at retreats and conferences where invited, coast to coast. Expanding her ministry included hosting live Christian talk-radio in two major markets and work in commercial television. With a certificate in apologetics from Biola University, membership with the International Society of Women in Apologetics and Christian Women in Media, all of Pam’s work is to compassionately help people discover and live in the same life-giving truth that she has been blessed to find. Her fervent interests are faith, family, friends and food, so it is not unusual to find her dotingly planning gatherings and cooking to bring all her passions together. She and her husband live in Orange County, CA, with their two grown children and families living nearby.

January 26, 2015
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How To Survive Feeling Overwhelmed

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It’s only the third week of the New Year, but maybe you’re like me and feeling a little overwhelmed with all you let go during the holidays. Some of you may still have your Christmas decorations up–we have our outside lights up still because I love them so much, and we’re still eating off of our snowman Christmas dishes. Those things don’t bother me, but a looming book deadline and preparing for speaking at a retreat in Nebraska at the end of this month, along with family and ministry obligations, now that can give me a few over-the-edge moments. So I was delighted when Dianne Barker offered to give us all a few tips on surviving what she calls, “Overwhelm City.”

Also, if you’re receiving this blog via email and would like to leave a comment on the website blog, just click here and it will take you to the online blog post. Then scroll down to the bottom of the post and you’ll see a silver circle on the right that says “leave a comment”. Click on the circle and a comment box will appear for you to write your comment.

If you’re reading this blog at the website, scroll down to the bottom of the post, click on the silver circle on the right that says “leave a comment” and the comment box will appear.

Dianne and I would both like to hear how you survive Overwhelm City.

Survival Kit for Overwhelm City

By Dianne Barker

 mother with everyone pulling at her

Yikes! Where am I? Did I misread the map? Overlook the road sign? Experience total GPS failure?

Oh, now I recognize the neighborhood. I’ve spent time here before—Overwhelm City—the home of over-commitment and complicated circumstances.

The only fix for over-commitment is saying “no.” A hard choice—but a choice.

[Tweet “The only fix for over-commitment is saying “no.””]

There’s no easy fix for beyond-our-control, complicated circumstances: crumbling marriages, prodigal children, career adjustments, financial difficulties, relationship issues, care-giving responsibilities, health concerns, assorted calamities, grief, terrorism, and fear. . . just to name a few.

[Tweet “I’ve begun to feel at home in Overwhelm City among the desperate who are crying”]

I’ve begun to feel at home in Overwhelm City among the desperate who are crying,

“Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck…the flood sweeps over me” (Psalm 69:1-2 ESV).

Although my husband and I have been caring for people we love during our forty-nine year marriage—several relatives and even a few friends who were close as family—I wasn’t prepared for an extended stay in Overwhelm City.

After leaving a successful journalism career to be a stay-at-home mom, I continued writing. My 1986 book Twice Pardoned was a number-one national Christian best-seller. The ink had barely dried when God led me from my public life as an author and speaker to a secluded life—caring for our parents as their health declined. I spent the next fifteen years in Overwhelm City, struggling to keep my head above water.

Doing the “gottas”

Routine housework wasn’t at the bottom of the list…it didn’t make the list. I did the gottas: wash dishes, make beds, clean bathrooms. My priorities were driving our parents to medical appointments, grocery shopping, cooking, and doing laundry for our three families. One week I made three trips to the coin laundry, due to plumbing problems at home, and washed a total thirty-two loads. Attending school functions involving our children and attending church completed my schedule.

Unexpected Ministry

Gradually, God eliminated every non-essential activity, shrinking my life to basics. My “shrunken life,” though limited in scope, was still significant. That season provided an opportunity to return to our parents some of the loving devotion they had showered on us. It was a fruitful time of growing closer to the Lord, immersing in His Word, and learning to depend on Him for every step and breath.

During this time, He gave me an unexpected ministry—mentoring young women He sent to my door seeking marriage and parenting advice. I shared principles the Lord was teaching me and promises I’d memorized from Scripture. As the women continued coming, I created a makeshift memorization booklet, which I later published: Walking in Victory—a Two-Year Scripture Memorization Plan. Fruit in the desert!

An Amazing Gift

During that complicated period, the Lord also gave me an amazing gift:

  • Peace that I was where He wanted me.
  • Purpose, doing what He designed.
  • Promise that someday He would expand my life again.

 

God always keeps His promises, and He never wastes an experience. He’s begun expanding my life. Besides providing opportunities to speak and publish, He surprised me with a weekly program on the Christian radio station WHCB, Bristol, Tennessee.

[Tweet “A life submersed in Christ is a better term for my “shrunken life.””]

A life submersed in Christ is a better term for my “shrunken life.” When my journey detours to Overwhelm City, I can be sure He has a purpose.

[Tweet “Survival kit for Overwhelm City”]

Survival Kit for Overwhelm City

If this fresh New Year finds you at the outskirts of Overwhelm City, a few tools from my Survival Kit will help you make the most of the experience and sweeten the stay.

  • Simplify life. Eliminate non-essentials. “He has told you. O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).
  • Draw near to Jesus. He said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
  • Accept that you are here by God’s design. “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10).
  • Believe God has a purpose. We don’t have to see it to believe it. If nothing else, He’s developing endurance. “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised” (Hebrews 10:36).
  • Keep a teachable heart. Ask: Lord, what do you want me to learn? “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8).
  • Encourage yourself with truth. “Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you” (Jeremiah 32:17).
  • Rejoice. If I rejoice today, I rejoice in these circumstances. “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances…” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

[Tweet “Overwhelm City is a sweet community of broken people.”]

Overwhelm City is a sweet community of broken people. Didn’t I just see you moving in next door? Come on over. I can’t wait to hear your story!

DianneBarker 2012

 

Dianne Barker is a conference speaker, freelance journalist, radio host, and author. This post is adapted from I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life, which won the Christian Authors Network Golden Scrolls 2014 third-place award for non-fiction book of the year (available at LifeWay Christian Stores, www.crossbooks.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.diannebarker.com.)

9781462735105_COVER.indd

January 19, 2015
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Effective Mentors Ask Questions

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two women mentoring

Kathy Collard Miller and her husband Larry Miller are the authors of a book I recently endorsed, Never Be The Same. I asked the Millers if they would share with you how some of the principles they discuss in their book could be applied to mentoring. I was delighted when I saw that they chose the topic of asking questions because that is the same advice and training I give to mentors. Instead of lecturing or trying to get the mentee to see things our way, questions can help the mentee arrive at her own conclusions. In my Bible study, Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth: Together for the Journey, Session Three, Day Four is on “Asking Questions.” This method works well for parents too.

Effective Mentors Ask Questions

by Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller

One of the many goals of mentoring is helping our mentee identify her motive for the choices she makes. All of us react, respond, and choose based on our desires and wants, or what we think will prevent emotional or physical pain. Helping our mentee to recognize motives is a challenge.

[Tweet “Be an effective mentor by asking questions.”]

We are lay-counselors, and as we help people make wise and godly choices, we’ve noticed that long-range change occurs with a heart transformation, not just mental assent. We have also been counseled and mentored, and appreciated the counselor or mentor who asked questions that helped us identify our motives and what we hoped to gain.

[Tweet “Mentees can choose a heart transformation.”]

Why We Wrote Never Ever Be the Same

[Tweet “Why We Wrote Never Ever Be the Same http://amzn.to/1ITmLfy @KathyCMiller”]

We wrote Never Ever Be the Same, to help people discover why they make the choices they do. Rather than encourage them to grit their teeth and vow to be better, we want them to have a deep spiritual change where they trust in God—not self-effort.

Asking Questions More than Giving Advice

[Tweet “Tweet: Ask questions rather than offer advice.”]

Asking questions rather than giving advice helps your mentee to get in touch with her motivations. If you only give advice, your mentee could depend upon you for her power rather than having a heart for God. It can be difficult to think of the questions to ask.

[Tweet “It’s difficult to think of questions to ask as we mentor.”]

Although we don’t provide a list of questions in our book, we do give examples of how we use questions with those we mentor.

Questions to Use While Mentoring

[Tweet “Here are some questions to use for mentoring. “]

Here are some questions we ask. These aren’t in any order, but use according to what the mentee is telling you. Then ask more questions based upon the mentee’s answers or response:

  1. What did the other person’s reaction seem to say about you?
  2. What if you didn’t keep doing that? What do you fear would happen?
  3. What is God inviting you into through allowing these circumstances?
  4. What would you like to say to that person who hurt you?
  5. Why do you believe that’s true when other people have told you it’s not?
  6. What were you hoping or longing for?
  7. What do you feel is lacking in your life?
  8. What does that choice provide for you?
  9. What were you saying about yourself during the time that hurtful thing happened?
  10. How does your behavior leave out God in your life?
  11. How does that behavior protect you from some kind of harm or pain?
  12. Everything is a choice. Why are you choosing that destructive behavior: to gain something or protect yourself from something?
  13. What does your choice say about who God is?
  14. What does your behavior or choice indicate is your belief about God, life, or other people?

Learning to use these questions may take time. Asking them may not bring instant change to your mentee. But the Holy Spirit can use the mentee’s new sense of self-awareness to reveal wrongly motivated thinking and choices. That kind of heart transformation will have long-range benefits.

Share a question that you have found useful in mentoring that the Holy Spirit used to bring a heart change in your mentee.

Leaving any comment here will include you in the drawing for a free copy of Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today by Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller.

 9780891124504-1

Kathy Collard Miller is the author of 50 books and an international speaker. Kathy and her husband, Larry, have been married 44 years and he is a retired police lieutenant who speaks and writes. Larry and Kathy often speak together. They live in Southern California, and have two grown children and one grandson. Visit them at www.LarryAndKathy.com and www.KathyCollardMiller.com.

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Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today (Leafwood Publishers) offers Christians hope that they can change their destructive patterns of behavior through identifying their sinful self-protective strategies and then being empowered to trust God instead. Their book includes biblical principles, insightful stories, and helpful instruction. It also provides discussion questions for individuals or groups.

Never Ever Be the Same is available at your local Christian bookstore and in both print and digital versions. Even though you may find Never Ever Be the Same can only be pre-ordered on some online bookstores, if you pre-order, your cost may be less when they mail it to you.

Amazon

Christianbook.com

Barnes and Noble

January 12, 2015
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Want a New Start in 2015?

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New Start 15 theme verse-1

 My friend and fellow author/speaker, Kathy Howard, is inviting you and me to join her in a search for holiness and a deeper walk with the Lord in 2015! In her guest blog today, she tells us more about New Start 15 and how to get involved. If you’re wondering why my Bible Studies are not listed on their Resource List, I’m writing fast and furious on a new book and wasn’t able to be a contributor for New 15, but I support it 100%. You can also consider starting 2015 with one of my Bible studies to do on your own, with a friend/M&M, or in a group.

New Start 15 by Kathy Howard

New Start 15 by Kathy Howard

I love the “undo” button on my laptop. You know the one – that little arrow that curves to the left. When you click it, the last thing you did magically disappears.

Sometimes I wish life had an “undo” button. I could click it to magically erase the unkind words I blurted. Or wipe out my selfish behavior. Or eliminate that wrong decision. To “undo” all those things that brought unwanted consequences or now weigh heavy on my conscience.

Yep. In fact, sometimes it would be great to start over all together. To get a clean slate. To get a complete do-over.

Guess what? If you’re a Christian, that’s exactly what you got when you entered into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. And sister, if things have gotten a bit off track since then, it’s not too late to undo and start new. In fact, now is a great time for a NEW START.

[Tweet “Need a do-over? It’s not too late. #NewStart15”]

New Start 15

If you’d like to “undo” a few things or even start new on a bigger scale, consider joining me for “New Start 15.” During January, a few friends and I will be leading a month-long journey into holiness. Together we’ll explore what it looks like to become a “new creation in Christ,” to practically live out the set-apart, holy life to which God calls us.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 2:17, NIV

The “old” life looks like the world around us. And it’s burdened with the weight and consequences of worldly living. But the “new” life is radically different from the world, holy and set apart to God.

There is glorious freedom and joy in living a life of holiness. Freedom from the weight and consequences of sin. And joy in a deeper intimacy with our holy God.

[Tweet “New life in Christ brings freedom & joy through a holy life. #NewStart15”]

Do you like the sound of freedom and joy? The chance for a New Start? Our God is the God of second chances, clean slates, and do-overs.

[Tweet “Our God is the God of second chances, clean slates & do-overs. #NewStart15 “]

 

Participation in New Start 15 is simple.

Here are a few ways you can get involved:

 

  • Use the New Start 15 Bible Reading Plan in your personal quite time January 5 – 23. (Free download)
  • Like the New Start 15 Facebook page to keep up with daily devotional blog posts, get words of encouragement, and share thoughts from your own journey. (You can also download the New Start 15 bloggers list and schedule.)
  • Follow the New Start 15 “blog hop” January 5-23 (weekdays only) as the New Start 15 team blogs about living the new, holy life in Christ. (List of New Start 15 Contributors)
  • Check out the New Start 15 Resources List for books, Bible studies, blog posts, printables and more to help you on your journey. (Free Download)
  • Invite your friends to join you in the New Start 15 journey by sending them the link to this post.

Do you long for deep intimacy with God? Do you desire for your life to please and glorify Him? Do you want your life to point others to Jesus? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then New Start 15 is for you! Join us in January as we dig into God’s Word to find out what He says about living the new, holy life in Christ.

 

Are you ready for a New Start? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments. Or simply let me know you’re in! Happy New Year!

Kathy Howard

Kathy Howard

 

 

 

January 5, 2015
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