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Liz Curtis Higgs Reminds Us: God Is More Faithful Than the Pizza Man

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Liz Curtis Higgs reminds us that God is more faithful than the pizza man

Did you notice there wasn’t a Monday Morning Blog from me last week? It’s Ok if you didn’t miss it. I had a short turnaround from speaking in South Carolina and heading off to Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference in Scotts Valley, California, where I had the honor and privilege of being on the faculty. As I prepared for teaching and packing, something had to give. The blog post. I know you’ll forgive me and maybe even congratulate me for pacing myself.

The conference was amazing! The theme was BOLD: “Since we have such a hope, we are very bold” 2 Cor. 3:12. God’s presence boldly permeated every area of the conference grounds and every aspect of the activities.

[Tweet “The theme of Mount Hermon Writers Conferece was BOLD: “Since we have such a hope, we are very bold” 2 Cor. 3:12. “]

A special treat was having award-winning author and speaker Liz Curtis Higgs as our keynote speaker. Liz presents her godly bold messages with humor, passion, and love. I had heard her speak at Mount Hermon before and knew we’d be in for a treat. But I also knew something would be different about Liz this year. I even wondered if she would be able to still speak at the conference.

Liz Curtis Higgs was amazing at Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference

Liz was wearing a wig and needed her husband to help her on and off the stage. She sat on a stool while speaking instead of roaming around the stage. Precious Liz recently completed surgery, radiation, and chemo for endometrial cancer. Thinking all was well and on the road to recovery, her doctors assured her a routine cat scan would reveal the cancer eradicated.

But that was not the case. While Liz was on chemo, a cancerous tumor continued to grow. Apparently, she is resistant to a platinum component of the “chemo cocktail.” Liz is not cancer free. She also has neuropathy in her feet making it difficult to stand. Yet, in three worship services, Liz shared her trademark message of God’s hope and faithfulness through laughter and tears . . . ours and hers.

[Tweet “Liz Curtis Higgs refers to her cancer as, “An unexpected journey toward hope.””]

When you look at Liz’s face in pictures taken while she was speaking, you see joy, smiles, peace, and faith. She refers to her cancer as, “An unexpected journey toward hope.”

Liz Curtis Higgs sharing her story at Mount Hermon Writers Conference

[Tweet “God is more faithful than the pizza man!–Liz Curtis Higgs”]

Which brings me to the topic of this blog: God is more faithful than the pizza man! I’ll try to paraphrase Liz’s points, and now that you know a little bit about what she’s going through, I assure you it will have even more meaning.

“Lizzie’s” Faith Message

Liz recounted for us something we’ve all done repeatedly: called the pizza man to order a pizza delivered. Usually, we don’t know the person at the other end of the line taking our order, and we don’t know the delivery man or girl. Yet, with faith and trust, we hang up the phone, no doubts that a pizza will soon be delivered to our doorstep. We have faith in the pizza man.

When the doorbell rings we don’t question, “Oh, I wonder who that could be?” We’re sure that a hot pizza is awaiting us when we open the door. We even have payment and a tip ready for the delivery person, or in faith, we gave the pizza man our credit card number over the phone.

When we open the door, we’re not shocked or exclaiming, “What a miracle!!! The pizza I ordered arrived!”

True, we might get pepperoni instead of sausage, but we never question, worry, or fret over whether or not the pizza is coming. We wait expectantly, ready to receive it from a stranger.

Now, contrast when we offer a prayer request to God, who isn’t a stranger and we know Him intimately. He’s proven to us over and over again that He hears our prayers and will answer in His timing and according to His will.

[Tweet “Yet, we often question, worry, and fret whether our Lord and Savior will actually show up at our doorstep. “]

Yet, we often question, worry, and fret whether our Lord and Savior will actually show up at our doorstep. And when He does, we’re shocked. “What a miracle!” we proclaim, as if we didn’t really have faith that He would come through for us . . . again.

Do we take time to thank God, like we thank and tip the pizza delivery person?

We trust the pizza man more than we trust God.

I say “we” because I’m right there with you if you’ve ever doubted God would really answer your prayers. And even though He’s repeatedly proven to be faithful throughout my lifetime, I wonder if I’ve reached my quota of requests.

My Recent Faith Journey

2017 was not a good year for me. If you follow my blogs, you know I wasn’t able to travel and speak due to health issues, as I wrote about in the May 1, 2017 blog, I Didn’t See This Coming. I wondered if the Lord was closing the speaking door. Then in the fall, I received several speaking requests for 2018 and the invitation to teach at Mount Hermon.

My first speaking event of 2018 was in Simpsonville, SC in early March. I wondered if I would still feel comfortable on the stage speaking. Was it like riding a bike? Would it all come back to me? I prayed and agonized before the Lord until I heard Him say, I release you to go back out and share My message. I wouldn’t send you anywhere that I haven’t equipped you to go.

My husband was with me on that speaking trip and he marveled that it was as if I’d never been on a speaking sabbatical. When I took the microphone, I knew I was back. I gave God all the glory for using me as His servant voice again.

God is so much more faithful than the pizza man!

As an attendee learning how to write at this conference for ten years, serving on Mount Hermon’s faculty was a distant dream. Then big surprise, last fall I received the invitation to lead a main track Mentoring Clinic on Writing Your Personal Story and Memoir and a workshop on Writing Engaging Bible Studies.

After I said, “Absolutely,” doubt plagued me. Would I be worthy? Did I know enough to help aspiring writers like I had been helped? Who was I to accept this tremendous responsibility? Again, I heard God’s reassuring whisper, I wouldn’t send you anywhere that I haven’t equipped you to go.

The experience was beyond anything I could imagine. I knew from the first morning of the mentoring clinic, this was exactly where I was supposed to be, at that time, and in that place.

This picture of my “mentees” on the last day of our memoir writing mentoring clinic shows that my Lord was faithful to them and to me.

 

God is truly more faithful than the pizza man.

I’m on a very expensive medication, the sixth one after others have failed or given me horrendous side effects, and we’ve reached the end of options. Insurance only gave me a good rate for four months, then what? My doctor said, “Don’t worry, let me worry about it.” His office staff said, “Don’t worry, we’ll come up with something.” My husband said, “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.” But I worried.

After much pleading with the insurance company, I learned of a program for this medication that if I qualified, it would be FREE! My doctor and I filled out the application and faxed it to the company. This time, I trusted God to figure out a way, even if I wasn’t accepted into the program. I heard God clearly say, Don’t worry. I have many more plans for you and I’m on it.

I trusted that God was more faithful than the pizza man.

I gave it over to Him, even when the 24-48 hours they said I would know the answer turned into 10 days. Then I got the call. I was prepared for the answer, either way it went, because I knew God would figure something out for me.

I was approved. I cried. I praised God and gave Him all the glory to the point that the woman on the other end of the phone was starting to cry too and said, “Yes,” every time I praised God.

Your Turn to Trust God More Than the Pizza Man

So now it’s your turn. Even in the face of cancer that didn’t respond to treatment, Liz Curtis Higgs can say . . .

As I’ve walked out my cancer journey this year, strengthened by your prayers, I’ve learned that everything the Bible says about God is the absolute truth. He is exceedingly faithful and endlessly merciful, “keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments” (Deuteronomy 7:9). Liz Curtis Higgs

What do you need to trust God with?

Where do you need to believe like “Lizzie” and me that God truly is more faithful than the pizza man?

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1 John 5:14

If you receive this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

Thank you to Karen Barnett and Jenn Fries for pictures of Liz Curtis Higgs.

Liz Curtis Higgs teaches God is more faithful than the pizza man.

Liz Curtis Higgs and Mount Hermon friend and author, Jenn Fries

April 2, 2018
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Protect Our Children from Groupthink!

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Our children should walk up to others and be kind. Not walk out. Stop group think!

I woke up the morning after the school walkout and wondered,

How did the word about this walkout at a specific time and date spread to children in schools across the nation?

Yes, they’re on social media, but not every kid could be reached that way?

Whose original idea was it?

Who organized it?

Who took it to my grandchildren’s middle school?

Pondering these questions, I made a cup of coffee and opened up the online FOX news page. There was the answer to all my questions. I had missed the Laura Ingraham’s show the previous night where this was the topic of her opening monologue.

Then, it all made sense.

[Tweet “Teenagers don’t have the capability to pull off a national walkout, but politicians and  the Women’s March do! They organized the walkout.”]

Teenagers wouldn’t have that capability on their own to pull off such a national event, but politicians and organizations like the Women’s March do! They organized the walkout.

I wonder how many of the boys who participated realized they were being manipulated by liberal women who march in pink hats?

[Tweet “The Women’s March formed Women’s March Youth Empower indoctrinating our children with liberal views.”]

Remember the Women’s March group? Well, they also have an arm called Women’s March Youth Empower and they’re going after our children with their liberal views. Not just girls, which is bad enough, but all children.

You don’t have to look far back in history, or even today, to see other radical groups who indoctrinate the young.

[Tweet “March 14, our children and grandchildren were manipulated by politicians and the Women’s March”]

March 14th, our children and grandchildren were manipulated by a liberal activist group and politicians, who used the kid’s naïvetés and youthful emotion and energy to further their political agenda.

If you look at clips on Laura Ingraham’s report, you’ll see left-wing politicians like Nancy Pelosie and Bernie Sanders speaking, and New York’s liberal Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Chuck Shummer clapping hands, chanting, and high fiving the students in front of the White House. Of course, they all had their armed bodyguards! Local liberal politicians and school administrators and teachers promoted the walkout in their district schools.

This walkout was supposed to be seventeen minutes to honor the seventeen lives lost in the Parkland, FL. tragic school shooting a month ago. But I didn’t hear or see any news clips recognizing these victims. The purpose of the walkout was lost amongst yelling and political rhetoric. Interestingly, no one protested the FBI or local sheriff’s department for ignoring all the obvious clues and warnings of impending tragedy.

[Tweet “The purpose of the walkout was lost amongst yelling and political rhetoric.”]

In many cases, the walkout went on for hours and was more of a political, anti-Trump rally. In California, it even turned violent. How ironic is that . . . a protest to find ways to be safe, results in causing danger!

Walk Up, Not Out

And the walkout wasn’t just in high schools. To my daughter’s surprise, she received a text from my 12-year old, middle school granddaughter Katelyn asking if she should walkout. Mom realized they should have talked about it the night before, but Kim never expected it to touch middle schools. Here’s a transcript of their texts and see below it for the challenge mom gave daughter:

No automatic alt text available.

Here was the Walk-Up challenge posted on Facebook by Amy Flynn that mom gave to Katelyn and she refers to in the above text:

On March 14, encourage students to walk up. Walk up to the kid who sits alone at lunch and invite her to sit with you. Walk up to the kid who sits quietly in the corner, smile and say hi. Walk up to the kid who may be disruptive in class and ask him how he’s doing. Walk up to teachers and school staff and say thank you. Walk up to someone who has different views than you and get to know him/her. Walk up to 14 students and 3 teachers and say something kind. Honor the lives of those lost by walking up, not out.#walkupnotout

One of Katelyn’s teachers read this aloud to the whole class!

Katelyn and her friend took the challenge, and they complimented eight kids and two teachers!

The girls had the courage not to follow the crowd and submit to groupthink. They walked up instead of out.

[Tweet “Tucker Carlson “The show that is the sworn enemy of lying, pomposity, smugness, and group think.””]

The theme of Tucker Carlson’s program on FOX news is, “The show that is the sworn enemy of lying, pomposity, smugness, and groupthink.” He often emphasizes, “Especially groupthink!” Ah, that every parent would incorporate this motto into their family values.

Katelyn said most of the kids just hung out with their friends and were looking for a way to get out of class.

Walk With God

Laura Ingraham shared conversations from her radio program where some parochial schools walked into churches to pray for the victims and their families.

Here’s how one group of school kids chose to make a difference in schools and our culture. Click on this link. Watch and be inspired!

http://www.imsoblesseddaily.com/young-boldly-pray-school/

Whether or not you agree with more gun control or kids protesting, who do you think will have the most positive effect on our culture? Kids who, walk out or kids who walk up, in, and with?

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:6

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Picture courtesy of Amy Flynn posed on Facebook

March 19, 2018
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How a Beauty Pageant Launched a Destiny by Catherine Zoller

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Today’s guest post is written by a dear friend who puts books of the Bible to rhyme for children. Her books are beautifully illustrated and loved by all children. Enjoy her post on Esther and her own personal testimony.

Catherine Zollers rhyming Bible stories for children

How a Beauty Pageant Launched a Destiny

by Catherine Zoller

People either love beauty pageants or hate them. But one of the oldest beauty pageants in history turned a participant into a queen.

Like many of you, I’m sure, I’ve come to love the small ten chapter book of Esther.  Not only because it’s a beautiful story of a young woman who dared to risk her life by trusting the living God, but also because it speaks so powerfully of identity and destiny.

Esther, or Hadassah, as she was known before being taken into King Ahasuerus’ harem, was a young Jewish orphan girl.  Think about those four words for a moment. Don’t let your eyes and thoughts glide over them without being struck by what they reveal. Young. Jewish. Orphan. Girl. It was a societal four strikes. In a caste system (and it was, of sorts) she would have been on the lowest rung.

Her cousin, Mordecai, had been taken captive from Jerusalem into exile in Babylon under the ruler ship of King Nebuchadnezzar (Esther 2:5-6).  Mordecai was raising young Hadassah. Somehow after the death of both of her parents, she found herself in her relative’s care. As the story unfolds, we are relieved to see how devoted he was to her well-being.

However, they were living as outsiders in a foreign land.  They were Jewish, and about to face severe persecution to the point of planned annihilation.  Hadassah was an orphan in a patriarchal society.  And she was a girl.

And yet God, as only He can, gave Hadassah a change of identity. Within a year of being one of the chosen women to potentially replace the rebellious Queen Vashti, Esther would find herself winning the favor of the king and being crowned the Queen of Persia and Media.  Without any intermediary steps in between, she went from a position of lowest to highest. It’s remarkable, really! And a lesson we can take to heart of the kind of transformation the Lord wants to do in each of us.

From Rebel to Writer

[Tweet “Thankfully, God is in the business of changing identities and leading us into our destiny”]

Thankfully, God is in the business of changing identities and leading us into our destiny.  But rarely does it come without His transformational power on grand display.

I was raised in what appeared to be an ideal situation. Within an intact marriage; with two brothers, and a financially successful father.  And yet, like every family since the one in Eden, we had our share of dysfunction.  At some point, I began to believe a lie. A lie that seemed to scream at me from the lips of almost every adult in my life. And the lie was this: It’s not okay to be me.

I wasn’t quiet and studious like my older brother.  Nor was I docile and winsome like my younger brother. Rather, I was the challenging, wildly curious, hyperactive, rule-questioning, exasperating middle child.  I was a horrible student from the moment I entered Kindergarten until I managed to graduate from high school.  “Trouble” was my constant companion and we got along just fine.

Because I felt marginalized both at home and in the classroom, a flicker of fury was quietly being fanned into an inferno of rage and rebellion.

The summer I turned fifteen, my parents severed their parental rights and had me placed in a state run home for juvenile delinquents. I felt the sting of rejection and the slap of abandonment in the deepest part of my being. I became even angrier and more rebellious. At one point, I was put on six months’ probation with a potential 8-year prison sentence hanging over my head like a guillotine waiting to be released. (You can read the full story here.)

My identity was clearly defined in my mind and everyone else’s, and all who knew me could see I was racing headlong down a path of destruction.

But God.

I don’t have time in this short blog to tell you how God scooped me up from the miry pit and set my feet on the narrow path.  But He did.  And in the process, He began to change my identity.  Not as swiftly as He did Esther’s, mind you, but every bit as effectively.

I married, had three children, and buried my oldest son three weeks before his 22nd birthday. I was active in our church, attended two Bible studies, and began to put the books of the Bible to rhyme. The Rhyme and Reason Series was born in 2009 and is now eight titles strong. I’ve been an inspirational speaker, sharing strength, hope, and the redemptive power of Jesus for longer than I can remember.

You Are a Destiny Imparter

[Tweet “Like Esther, like you and me, every child has a God-given destiny and identity.”]

Like Esther, like you and me, every child has a God-given destiny and identity.  Our job as parents, grandparents, mentors and human beings, is to help guide those God has placed within our families and spheres of influence. When we impart that knowledge to them in their early lives, and reinforce it all along the way, we empower them to seek and discover God’s purpose and plan for their lives.

[Tweet “Our job as parents, grandparents, mentors and human beings, is to help guide those God has placed within our families and spheres of influence.”]

Tools to Inspire

If you have a child in your life between the ages of two and twelve whose identity and destiny you are trying to help shape, consider reading the book of Esther to them in rhyme. And then take advantage of the free coloring pages, word games, and activity sheet that correspond to the book and help reinforce the story.

Use these tools as a natural springboard for conversations about how the child sees themselves. If what they say doesn’t line up with who you know them to be and who God declares they are, begin to gently shift their thinking with words of truth and encouragement.

I leave you with the words of my favorite rhyme mister, Dr. Seuss. “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.”

If you feel so inclined, please share with me and others the practical ways God is using you to make things better for the people in your lives as you help steer them into their identity and destiny.

Leave a comment below to enter a drawing to receive an autographed copy of Esther.

If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here. 

With a delicious blend of engaging humor and biblical truth, writer, author and inspirational speaker Catherine Zoller more than lives up to her pledge to, “Make ‘em laugh, make ‘em cry, make ‘em think, and change their lives!”

Catherine’s life experiences, along with her wit and candid, invigorating style, resonates deeply with her audiences.

At the age of fifteen, she fell in love with the truth found in the Scriptures and experienced its life-changing power.  Since that time, Catherine’s singular passion is for divine influence to move hearts toward reverent obedience to God and His Word.

She firmly believes in getting the truth into children’s lives at a young age.  To that end, she has put several of the books of the Bible to rhyme.  “The Rhyme and Reason Series” began in 2009 and is currently seven titles strong.

Catherine and her husband Jay have been married a very long time and have three grown children, the oldest of whom is with the Lord.

March 12, 2018
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Billy Graham was F.A.T. Are You?

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America's Pastor, Billy Graham, was laid to rest.

As our friends joined Dave and me in our living room last Friday, March 2, to watch the funeral of Reverend Billy Graham, we cried, laughed, and prayed with the family and speakers. Each of Rev. Graham’s five children took the platform to share a memory of their father, and Franklin Graham gave the sermon, sharing the gospel and stories of his mother and father. Franklin offered everyone present, including millions watching, an opportunity to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior if they didn’t already have assurance of someday being in heaven with Jesus, Billy Graham, and every believer who has “gone to sleep.”

At the funeral, each child spoke with eloquence, poise, and humor and took the podium in their birth order, except for Franklin who gave the message. Nelson “Ned” Graham is the youngest, so he followed Gigi, Anne, and Ruth. When it was his turn, he mentioned that they were each given fifteen minutes to speak, but since his siblings all took longer, he was going to make his short.

After a chuckle from the crowd, he said, “My father was fat.” I immediately thought, along with I’m sure everyone else, Billy Graham was not a fat man? Ned didn’t make us ponder long the point he was making. He quickly said, “My father was F-faithful, A-available, T-teachable. F.A.T.”

I quickly grabbed a pen and paper to write down this acrostic. This is how a son saw his famous father, deemed “America’s pastor.” What better legacy for every Christian.

F.A.T.

F-aithful. Every person I’ve heard speak about Billy Graham has shared of his faithfulness to serving God since he was a young schoolboy milking cows on his family farm.

  • His faithfulness to preach the gospel only from the Word of God, the Bible.
  • His faithfulness to his marriage and his undying love for his wife, Ruth.
  • His faithfulness to his family.
  • His faithfulness to reach all people groups.
  • His faithfulness to live a life of integrity.
  • His faithfulness to integration.
  • His faithfulness to God until his last breath.

If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. Luke 16:10 NLT

Ah, that we would all be found faithful!

Pastor Billy Graham preached the gopel around the world

A-vailable. Billy Graham made himself available to follow the call of God to share the gospel wherever God led him.

  • His availability to the Middle East. At the funeral, Pastor Sami Dagher, spoke of Rev. Graham’s influence on Christianity in the Middle East.
  • His availability to Korea. South Korean pastor Billy Kim spoke of Rev. Graham mentoring him when his church had only 300 members. Today, that same church has 20,000 members. One of the words of advice Billy gave Pastor Kim was, “Never make your message about yourself; always make it about Jesus Christ.”
  • His availability to the world. Billy Graham preached the gospel around the world, at great sacrifice of missing time with his family.
  • His availability to America. So many stories shared of mothers and fathers saved at Billy Graham crusades and bringing Christianity into their homes. Even President Trump in his eulogy to Rev. Graham in the Capitol Rotunda spoke of his father taking his mother and him to the crusade in Yankee Stadium.President Trump gave a beautiful tribute to Billy Graham in the Capitol Rotunda
  • His availability to American presidents. Presidents starting with Harry Truman knew him as their Pastor.
  • His availability to go wherever God led him in the world for as long as he had strength.

And then he told them, “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone.  Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:15-16 NLT

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. Acts 1:8

Ah, that we would all be found available!

T-eachable. Everyone who knew Billy Graham, described him as a humble servant of the Lord.

When he was elderly and no longer able to physically preach, an interviewer asked Billy if he had any regrets. He replied that he wished he had taken less speaking engagements and spent more time studying his Bible and praying.

Hearing this, I thought, But Billy, think of all the lives who might not have had a chance to respond to the gospel if you hadn’t gone on those preaching trips! God called. You went at great personal sacrifice. Lives were saved for eternity, as the Holy spirit spoke through you, God’s willing servant.

[Tweet “The Reverend Billy Graham was continuously a student of the Bible, always learning from God and His Word.”]

The Reverend Billy Graham was continuously a student of the Bible, always learning from God and His Word. Never thinking he knew enough, had read enough, had prayed enough, had shared enough . . . God’s Word was new every morning, even to America’s Pastor.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him! Lamentations 3:22-24 NLT

As the Graham children greeted funeral attenders, one person said to Anne Graham Lotz that he was now an evangelist pastor thanks to the teachings of her father. Anne said to him, “Preach it fast.” She was conveying, the time is short. Jesus will return in the blink of an eye, and all who do not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior will be lost for eternity. May we all let our lives convey that same urgency for salvation of the lost.

[Tweet “The time is short. Jesus will return in the blink of an eye, and all who do not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior will be lost for eternity.”]

Ah, that we would all have a teachable spirit!

At the internment ceremony, one speaker quoted Rev. Graham as saying “God forbid that anything about my life should be about anything besides Jesus Christ.” The speaker went on to say, “You can’t explain Billy Graham outside of Jesus. He had a complete submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Out of this spirit of humility, God poured out His grace on Billy Graham.”

In his eulogy, Franklin Graham said that his father had one last sermon he wanted to preach based on Galatians 6:14: May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

We’ll have to wait until heaven to hear Pastor Billy Graham preach that sermon, but until then, may we . . . every Christian . . . be ambassadors for Christ and let our lives be a sermon.

So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 2 Cor. 5:10

If you haven’t read last week’s blog, I would encourage you to read it now. Billy Graham, My Mentor

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Pictures are courtesy of The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association

March 5, 2018
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Billy Graham, My Mentor

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Billy Graham, My Mentor and a story of how he lived his life.

“Someday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is dead don’t believe a word of it, I shall be more alive than I am now. I will just have changed my address.” Billy Graham

When you saw the title of today’s blog, you probably thought Billy Graham had personally mentored me face-to-face. What an amazing blessing that would have been!

Actually, we didn’t meet in person, but I had the joy of being at two of his crusades. First time, as a teenager when our church took a bus of kids from Ventura to a stadium in LA. I had never heard anyone preach like that before! Even though I was a believer, I was drawn down on the field to praise and worship God with all the new believers.

The next time was with my husband, Dave, who had never heard Billy Graham in person. I wanted Dave to have the experience so we flew to Oakland when Rev. Graham had announced it would be his last crusade. But it wasn’t his last. God kept using him, and as he said so many times, he would keep preaching until God told him to stop.

[Tweet “Whenever asked on a survey or questionnaire, “Who is the earthly person you admire the most?” My answer, “Billy Graham.””]

Whenever asked on a survey or questionnaire, “Who was the earthly person you admired the most?” My answer, “Billy Graham.” So how did the Reverend Billy Graham mentor me?

Billy Graham my Mentor with his Beloved Bible

[Tweet “Mentoring doesn’t have to be face-to-face. Observe someone’s life and let his or her words and actions mentor you from afar.”]

Mentoring doesn’t have to be face-to-face. You can observe someone’s life and let his or her words and actions mentor you from afar. A verse I use to explain mentoring to mentors and mentees is Hebrews 13:7, Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Over the years, Billy Graham mentored me as . . .

  1. I remembered the impact the gospel had in my life when hearing Billy Graham share it so powerfully in person, and following his crusades and preaching over the years.
  2. I considered his way of life, putting Jesus first above all else, studying his Bible, and living with integrity and humility. I read his autobiography, Just As I Am. I also read several biographies of his precious wife Ruth, which gave tremendous insight into her husband as a man of God and life without him when he was on the road while she raised their family almost as a single parent.

I didn’t always live with integrity or humility, but after I rededicated my life to the Lord in my early forties, everything changed for me. I had a hunger and thirst to study my Bible. I understood that putting Jesus first might cause the loss of a career, which it did! But God opened a new door into ministry.

I would lose friends, and maybe some family members would even reject me, as I devoted time and energy to starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry, writing, and speaking a biblical world view.

I would need an understanding spouse, as Ruth was to Billy, who supported my ministry and the times I would need to cloister away in solitude to write, or be on the road sharing God’s messages, wherever He sent me. God provided that godly husband in my helpmate in ministry and life, my beloved hubby, Dave.

I would come under criticism.

I would need to live my message with integrity, as best I could, with the Lord’s guidance, admonishment, and discipline.

  1. I listened to Billy Graham’s message. A simple one he never wavered from because he spoke the Truth straight from the Bible, which never changes.

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7 You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ John 3:6-7

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 (emphasis added)

[Tweet “One generation must teach and train biblical truths to the next generation”]

God has given me a message of the need for one generation to teach and train biblical truths to the next, One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts, Psalm 145:4. And since the day I heard “Feed my sheep” twenty-three years ago, I’ve devoted the second half of my life to helping women understand the simple message of “Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness.”

  1. I admired his passion for everyone to have an opportunity to accept Jesus Christ as his or her Lord and Savior, right then, right now!

As we listened to tributes and segments of his sermons on TV last week, my husband commented on how passionate Rev. Graham was when he spoke. I remember that well. His passion came from knowing that those who did not accept the free-gift of salvation from Jesus, would not be in heaven, but in hell, and he couldn’t stand that thought.

The best compliment I hear when I speak is, “I appreciate your passion and enthusiasm!” I know that comes from the Lord. He chose me to share a simple message of mentoring, and I’ve always said, “Enthusiasm is contagious.”

  1. I observed his boldness and not wasting time defending himself!

[Tweet “Billy boldly took his message of salvation through a relationship with Jesus Christ anywhere and everywhere the Lord led him.”]

Billy boldly took his message of salvation through a relationship with Jesus Christ anywhere and everywhere the Lord led him. He was not intimidated, nor did he spend time acknowledging his critics. I’ve used this story about him many times when I talk about resolving conflict:

The third month of the Greater London crusade unreeled at the same frenetic pace as the previous two. Billy had lost fourteen pounds, and both he and Ruth were exhausted. The press had reversed their original cynical opinion of him. Several reporters had gone forward at altar calls. In part, the media’s change in attitude was due to his refusal to respond to criticism and insults “I do not intend to get . . . into endless arguments and discussion with them,” he explained in a letter to Ruth the following year. “I am going to take the position of Nehemiah when he refused to go down and have a conference with his enemies. He [Nehemiah] said, ‘I’m too busy building the wall.’ We are too busy winning souls to Christ and helping build the church to go down and argue.”

God gave Billy favor with both political sides. He was named by Americans as “One of the Ten Most Admired Men in the World,” a record-breaking 59 times with the Gallup poll.

Sadly, a Christian today would never receive that honor!

His son Franklin Graham, an evangelist carrying on his father’s mantel, receives continuous and ruthless attacks by the liberal culture and media, as do Christians. But like his famous father, Franklin doesn’t spend time defending himself. Every time I hear him speak or interviewed, he transitions the conversation to sharing the gospel, just like his father did.

[Tweet “Every time I hear Franklin Graham speak or interviewed, he transitions the conversation to sharing the gospel.”]

I’ve been called bold and either applauded or attacked. I try not to let either one influence me. If we say Jesus is the most important person in our life, shouldn’t we let people know about Him? If we know that those who don’t accept Jesus into their heart in this lifetime will be lost for eternity, how can we be quiet?!

[Tweet “If we say Jesus is the most important person in our life, shouldn’t we let people know about Him? “]

[Tweet “If we know that those who don’t accept Jesus into their heart in this lifetime will be lost for eternity, how can we be quiet!?”]

I know not everyone appreciates my boldness or style, but in our failing times, like Billy and Franklin Graham, I feel a sense of urgency that overcomes any sense of fear in sharing the gospel. Am I ever intimidated? Yes, sometimes. Do I worry about offending some people? Yes, I do. Do I still have work to do in this area? Absolutely! But Satan can’t keep me quiet or intimidate me, as I continue to pray for even more boldness.

The Bible tells us to tell the truth in love, but never waiver from telling it.

[Tweet “The Bible tells us to tell the truth in love, but never waiver from telling it.”]

What if every pastor was bold enough to share Billy Graham’s biblical message of salvation with his passion and urgency?! How many lives would be saved from eternity separated from God?

[Tweet “What if every pastor was bold enough to share Billy Graham’s biblical message of salvation with his passion and urgency?!”]

What if every Christian, you and me, took up Billy Graham’s mantel, not leaving it to his son and family alone?

[Tweet “What if each of us imitated Billy and spread the Good News that Jesus saves with every breath and in every circumstance where God puts us?!”]

What if each of us imitated Billy and spread the Good News that Jesus saves . . . with every breath we take and in every circumstance where God puts us?!

How different would our world be today?

How different would our lives be?

How different would our government be?

How different would our schools be?

How different would our children and the next generation be?

I believe God took Billy Graham home because God wanted the simple message Billy preached to come alive again, not just for a day or maybe a couple of weeks, but for a revival!

[Tweet “I believe God took Billy Graham home because God wanted the simple message Billy preached to come alive again in a revival!”]

What do you think? Are you with me on this?

Let’s remember our leaders, like Reverend Billy Graham, who spoke the word of God to us. We’ll consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith! (Hebrews 13:7 personalized)

[Tweet “Let’s remember our leaders, like Reverend Billy Graham, who spoke the word of God to us. We’ll consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith! (Hebrews 13:7 personalized)”]

Who has mentored you from afar?

Billy Graham, My Mentor

If you received this by email, please leave a message here.

*Two pictures from BGEA

February 26, 2018
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Jesus Speaks to Me! Does He Speak to You Too?

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Jesus said "I speak to my sheep and my sheep know my name."

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27

I would not be married to my husband today or be in ministry if I had not recognized the voice of Jesus and listened to Him speaking to me!

While the Lord often uses sermons, books, Scriptures, movies, songs, others . . . to inspire and convey a message to believers, which I’ve experienced many times, I’ve also had the amazing experience of hearing Jesus speak to me loud and clear. I’ve told my testimony on numerous occasions, and unlike Joy Behar and the liberal women on The View, no one has ever called me mental. They call me blessed!

[Tweet “I’ve had the amazing experience of hearing Jesus speak to me loud and clear.”]

Let’s back up a bit. Last week a discussion on The View went something like this as reported by Brandon Showalter’s article in The Christian Post ‘The View’ Host Joy Behar Claims Mike Pence Hearing Jesus Is ‘Mental Illness’:

“Some of the ladies on “The View” Tuesday mocked Vice President Mike Pence’s Christian faith, saying they don’t want a leader who ‘speaks in tongues’ or reportedly hears the voice of Jesus, which Joy Behar said was tantamount to “mental illness”.

It started when they were discussing former White House staffer Omarosa Manigault Newman’s comments, who is now a contestant on the reality TV show “Celebrity Big Brother” “I am Christian, I love Jesus, but he [VP Pence] thinks Jesus tells him to say things,” she said, calling him “extreme.”

Co-host Sunny Hostin said she was a Catholic but, “I don’t know that I want my vice president, you know, speaking in tongues and having Jesus speak to him.”

Joy Behar chimed in: “It’s one thing to talk to Jesus. It’s another thing when Jesus talks to you. That’s called mental illness if I’m not correct, hearing voices.”

“My question is, can he talk to Mary Magdalene without his wife in the room,” Behar joked, making a reference to the now widely known fact that Pence does not dine alone with women or consume alcohol at events without his wife present, for which he was mocked in the secular press last year.

Guest co-host Sherri Shepard, who also says she’s a Christian, explained that talking with Jesus is “just par for the course,” for Christians. “You talk to Jesus, Jesus talks back. What concerns me is how long is the conversation with Jesus?” Laughter!

You can watch The View mocking Jesus and prayer segment in Brandon Showalter’s article .

Here’s the points I want to make from their mocking of Jesus and the Christian faith and those who laughed along with the View women:

[Tweet “The View mocking and slandering Jesus violates the Third Commandment:”]

  1.  Mocking Jesus violates the Third Commandment: “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” (Ex 20:7)  And that’s no joke! The one Conservative on the show, Meghan McCain, did finally interject that she talks to Jesus every morning and He talks to her. The rest have no idea what a relationship with Jesus means.
  2. They automatically assumed that VP Pence is “talking in tongues” because he talks to Jesus. He’s never said that he talks in tongues! More evidence they’re clueless about prayer. I talk to Jesus all day long, as many of you do, and I don’t talk in tongues.
  3. No one can talk to Mary Magdalene. She’s dead. Jesus is alive.
  4. They represent a large segment of the population who are critical and demeaning of evangelical Christians because they’re ignorant of what Christianity means. Any yet, they’re tolerant of other religious beliefs and would never mock them, as they shouldn’t. But Jesus and Christians are fair game.
  5. They’re lost and have no idea who Jesus is or what it means to pray. Or they claim to be Christians but don’t understand prayer or what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. They don’t know how to act and speak like a Christian who honors Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
  6. “Christians” attacking and making fun of other Christians need to ask forgiveness of Jesus and those they’ve attacked, repent, and mature in their infantile faith. The others need our prayers.

[Tweet “Christians can turn around for good the attack on their faith by The View”]

Christians can turn this around for good though. The discussion of this sacrilegious attack from the The View has given many Christians, including VP Pence, an opportunity to explain who Jesus is, why we speak to Him and He speaks to us, and defend our faith. Maybe someone will be curious enough to learn more about Jesus and prayer.

[Tweet “For the sad souls mocking and laughing at Jesus, if you only knew that you’ll someday face the consequences of Jesus saying He never knew you either.”]

For the sad souls mocking and laughing at Jesus, if you only knew that you’ll someday face the consequences of Jesus saying He never knew you either. “Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” Mathew 7:23.

“Christians” when you deny who Jesus is, you will face the same consequence.

I’ve Heard Jesus, Listened, and Followed

But back to my opening of the distinct times I’ve heard Jesus clearly.

After being a single mom for seventeen years, I surrendered my dating life to the Lord and prayed for Jesus to bring a godly man into my life. Several months later, I met Dave in a small group at church. We dated for a few months and then I broke up with him. He convinced me to go to church with him, and I suggested we go to a Greg Laurie Harvest Crusade after church. I rededicated my life to the Lord that night. As Dave and I sat in the car talking until the parking lot was empty, I distinctly heard the Lord say, “You asked for this godly man. I gave him to you. Now rededicate yourself to this relationship.” I heard, listened, and followed. Dave and I were married five months later. That was twenty-five years ago!

I hear Jesus talking to me and I heard Him say "Feed my sheep."

Several years later, I felt the Lord calling me into ministry, but I didn’t know where. I attended a Women in Ministry Leadership Conference where I heard the Lord say, “Feed my sheep.” I asked “What sheep, where, and what will I feed them when I find them.” I heard again, “Feed my sheep.” I heard, listened, and followed. That was the beginning of the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry twenty-three years ago.

[Tweet “Jesus talks to every Christian in a way that will get his or her attention.”]

Jesus talks to every Christian in a way that will get his or her attention. It might not be a clear voice, and I’ve only heard Him that way several times, although I pray every morning: “I declare myself—spirit, mind, emotions, body, will—totally open to your voice and totally available to do your will alone.”

In the The Believer’s Code, O.S. Hawkins writes:

“We who are Christ’s sheep know His voice, and of course we follow Him: He is our shepherd. We have a God who speaks to us. Do you hear His voice speaking to your heart through his Word and by his Spirit even right now? God’s voice is recognizable to His sheep. Ask Him to help you hear it.” (Emphasis added)

Are you listening? Have you followed? Please share with us a time you heard and obeyed the voice of Jesus.

If you haven’t read last week’s blog, So That No One Will Malign the Word of God, The View maligned the Word of God.

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February 19, 2018
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“So That No One Will Malign the Word of God”

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So that no one will malign the word of God in our culture today, know your Bible

The title of this article is the end of Titus 2:5 (NIV). Other translations read:

so that the Christian faith can’t be spoken against by those who know them. (TLB)

In this way, the Word of God is honored. (NLV)

so that the word of God may not be discredited. (NABRE)

We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. (MSG)

that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited) (AMPC)

Here’s Titus 2:1-5 (NIV) in context, a passage often used in mentoring . . .

You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

[Tweet “The Bible remains the number one best seller in the world!”]

No other book in history have emperors, empires, authorities, and mankind tried to malign, dishonor, discredit, reproach, blasphemy and destroy more than the Bible, yet still it remains the number one best seller in the world! Those of us who believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, often come under similar attacks. The world sees us as ignorant, foolish, drinking the Kool-Aid, stupid, unenlightened, living in the dark ages, not current or relevant . . . even deplorable. I’m sure many of you have been called worse names. I know I have.

[Tweet “The culture needs to adapt to the Bible, not the reverse!”]

Today’s liberal culture believes the Bible needs to adapt to culture instead of the culture adapting to the Bible. Progressive ignorance and blasphemy.

Jesus didn’t come to conform to the culture; he came to reform the culture! Now we’re to go and do likewise, but sadly many are following the culture instead of following Jesus’ example.

[Tweet “Tucker Carlson interviews a liberal Episcopalian pastor who promotes a gender-neutral God. Blasphemy”]

My heart sank as I heard Tucker Carlson on FOX news interview a liberal Episcopalian pastor who was convinced that Jesus would be in favor of taking gender out of the Bible and no longer seeing God as the Father image, but a gender-neutral God. The pastor’s words seared my heart, “We’re not taking anything away from the Bible, we’re just adding to it.”

I screamed at the TV, Tucker, remind him of the last words in the Bible . . .

18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. 19 And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.

20 He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

Do you, like me, find it inapprehensible to live in a culture that openly, and without reproach or conscious, maligns the Word of God from politicians, officials, congressmen, media, progressives, and yes, even many churches? We’ve forsaken Paul’s warning to Titus to teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine to men and women, and likewise teach the next generations.

It’s so easy for Bible-believing Christians to scoff at the culture and bemoan liberalism, but should our churches and ourselves look in the mirror and assume some of the blame?

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. James 1:22-24

As we watch liberalism and progressivism try to eliminate genders and the roles God assigned them, normalize same-sex unnatural relations and promiscuous sex, promote slaughtering babies in the womb, and the next generation accepting these atrocities, are Christians doing anything tangible to make a difference?

[Tweet “It’s not always comfortable to stand up for what you believe, but you must!”]

It’s not always comfortable to stand up for what you believe, but when you know the Truth and take to heart that many who are deceived today will spend eternity in hell instead of heaven, how could it be comfortable to remain silent?

The Bible is the only source of Truth

How Can You Stop the Maligning of God’s Word?

  1. Know your Bible! Relate to it. Read it. Study it. Memorize it. Share it.
  2. Practice and role model the Bible’s teaching in your life and with your family.
  3. Engage with the next generation by teaching or mentoring them using God’s Word as your guide.
  4. Ask God to give you new insights into His Word and a hunger to learn more.
  5. Remember how God’s Word has changed your life and share your testimony whenever God gives you the opportunity. If you’re wondering how to do this, Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten offers life-application ways, ideas, and prompts.

Obey the Word of God. If you hear only and do not act, you are only fooling yourself.—James 1:22 NLV

I know I’m preaching to the choir, and I commend the ministries you’re involved in and the ways God has led you to grow His Kingdom here on earth. For those who feel challenged by today’s blog, pray that God will show where He needs you to make a difference. 

[Tweet “Pray God will show where He needs you to make a difference.”]

For me, it’s a personal attack when I hear anyone belittling or maligning my precious Lord and Savior and the Bible He’s given us to know how to live as believers during the time He gives us on earth. Our world today is not an easy place for Bible-believing Christians, but we must not let that stop us. Jesus told us we would be persecuted, just like He was (John 15:20), but all He asks us to do is defend His Word, the Bible, and prayerfully share His gospel message with grace and love. God will do the rest.

The Bible assures us: What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun (Ecc. 1:9), and Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Heb. 13:8).

Please share with us how God has led you to stop the maligning of His Word.

If you received this post by email, please leave a comment here.

____________

Note: In the book I’m writing now, Get Your Brave On: Women of the Bible Show Us We’re Braver Than We Think, you won’t be surprised that there is a chapter on Bold Faith. I would love to hear how God has lead you to stand up for your faith and the Bible. Please email me at [email protected] for more details.

Remember the goodness of God so you don't forsake Him in your life.

Forsaken God?

February 12, 2018
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Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband By Cindi McMenamin

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My dear author friend of twenty years, Cindi McMenamin, has a new book out 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband.  If you’re married, engaged, know someone married, or mentoring a married woman, you’re going to want to pick up this valuable book full of experience, suggestions, and tips. We all want a happy communicative marriage, but if you’ve been married for very long, you know that takes work and lots of prayer.

Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband by Cindi McMenamin

Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband

By Cindi McMenamin

As I’ve mentored women over the past two decades, I’ve seen one issue continue to plague wives, regardless of how long they’ve been married – a communication gap in their marriage that leads to emotional distance.

Can you relate? Have you heard, or said yourself, the following statements?

I don’t know how to talk to my husband without him becoming defensive.

I’ve tried everything, he just won’t talk to me.

No matter what I say it comes out wrong. Is it me or is it him?

Whether you’ve heard other women say that or you’ve said it yourself, that gap – which can leave a husband and wife feeling isolated from one another – is more serious than you may realize.

[Tweet “A lack of communication is now the No. 1 cause for divorce in America.”]

A lack of communication is now the No. 1 cause for divorce in America. Just a decade ago it was adultery, but today failing to communicate, communicating poorly, or just letting the emotional gap widen between a husband and wife can be most fatal to marriages.

[Tweet “Eliminating the communication gap is essential to experiencing more in your marriage.”]

Eliminating the communication gap is essential to experiencing more in your marriage. That is the primary reason I wrote my newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband. You and I can be experiencing more trust, more passion, and yes, more communication with our husbands when we understand what motivates them, as well as what wounds them.

For years, my husband (Hugh) and I struggled with this communication gap because of our many differences. He is an introvert. I am an extrovert. He came from a family that stuffed and stifled their feelings. I came from a family that verbally over-communicated their feelings. To this day, Hugh will readily admit he is not the communicator in our marriage. I am. But just because I’m a writer, speaker, and therefore a communicator by profession, does not necessarily mean I communicate well with him. In fact, because I know how to communicate in general I figured I had it made when I got married. I was so wrong.

Through the years (three decades of marriage, in fact), my husband and I have both had to figure out how to communicate well with each other.

We did that by developing an awareness of what was causing us to close off from one another. And get this. We weren’t even aware that we were reacting to one another out of unresolved issues in our lives.

Reacting Out of Our Pain

[Tweet “It’s human nature for couples to react to one another out of their pain.”]

A counselor friend of mine shared with me that it’s human nature for couples to react to one another out of their pain. Certain words or situations will trigger pain in us and we end up reacting defensively. It’s natural, then, to filter our life’s experiences through that grid of pain and sometimes end up seeing our spouse – rather than an unhealed issue in our lives – as the problem.

[Tweet “Identify and let God heal issues to close the communication gap with your spouse.”]

Here are some ways to identify and let God heal the issues so you can better communicate and close the gap with your husband:

  1. Realize the deeper core wound that is driving the problem or argument. When you and I first understand our own pain and insecurities and then develop a greater understanding of what causes our husbands’ pain, we can work to better communicate and reconnect. Instead of thinking my spouse is just an angry man, say “I had no idea that my husband struggled so much with feeling he was not succeeding in the relationship.” What we focus on grows. If we focus on what our husbands are doing wrong, that will grow. If we focus on the fact that he’s a good guy that will heighten our awareness to see that.

[Tweet “What we focus on grows. If we focus on what our husbands are doing wrong, that will grow. “]

  1. Resist the urge to be defensive, accusative, or angry at your husband’s words, actions, or responses. People who hurt, hurt people. When your husband lashes out or says something unkind, it’s possible he is feeling lashed out against. Be open and curious. Tell yourself, “My husband is a good man, he is loving and is maybe acting like a jerk right now, but what is going on inside of him?” Practice Ephesians 4:29 and make sure, even in the heat of the moment, that you don’t let “any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).

[Tweet “People who hurt, hurt people.”]

  1. Reject the lies that get you off course and create division between you and your spouse. Your husband’s wounds aren’t the only ones in the picture. We wives get triggered by a situation or by certain words and then we believe our lie: I am alone. I am devalued. I’m not appreciated. I’m not respected. We end up responding to our husbands because we believe a lie that doesn’t have anything to do with them.

[Tweet “Reject the lies that get you off course and create division between you and your spouse.”]

  1. Receive the truth of who you are in Christ. Once you receive the truth that you are not alone, you are valuable in Christ’s eyes, and you’re deeply loved by God, you can be more emotionally regulated and attuned to your husband. John 8:32 tells us “Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

Instead of getting anxious, withdrawing from, or lecturing your husband when you feel hurt, you can remember the One who has redeemed your life and say, “I realize when you said this I felt devalued and started to shut down, but now I realize I am valued in Christ and I can choose to be connected and get close to you.”

Each of us has to feel emotionally safe in order to start moving toward the other person to close the gap. Our only safety is in our relationship with Jesus. When we understand who we are in His eyes and we feel safe in Him, we can feel safe with others, too. And then, we can start actively closing that communication gap.

Which of these steps do you find is the most challenging?

Leave your comment below and you’ll be entered to win a signed copy of Cindi’s newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband: More Trust. More Passion. More Communication. (U.S. mailing residents only please). Winners will be notified via email on February 12.

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

4 Ways to Better communication with your husband by Cindi McMenamin

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of 16 books who helps women strengthen their relationship with God and others. She has been married 30 years to Hugh, a pastor and introvert, who shared his insights in her newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, upon which this blog is based. For more on her ministry and discounts on her resources to strengthen your soul, marriage, and parenting, see her website:www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

February 5, 2018
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Love Your Body in the New Year!

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Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

(Love Your Body is a series I write the last Monday of each month on living healthy)

I started out the New Year having a third eye surgery which is still healing, so I’m going to update and resend a post I wrote in 2015. For some this will be new to you and for those who’ve been with me for awhile, it’s always good to start out the year with a refresher. I pray for each of you that it’s a healthy 2018! 

This week marks the last week in January, and if you’re like millions of people you’ve started making some changes in your life in 2018 (Five Ways to a Fresh Start in 2018). You may have overindulged throughout the holidays with the consolation that you’ll get back on track “next year.”

As I contemplated what to write to you today, I reread what I wrote two years ago, and it’s exactly what I want to say to you again this year. So I’ve updated it and hope if you’ve had some successes by reading Love Your Body Monday blogs, you’ll share those with me, like Janie did below and some of you have in my past blogs. I’m looking forward to sharing some new ideas for you to get healthy in the New Year.

As an avid gym member for many years, I always noticed how crowded the gym was the beginning of January. Those of us “regulars” would complain that it was hard to get on the equipment and the classes were packed. But we comforted each other with the knowledge that it wouldn’t last. Soon all the New Year enthusiasts would be gone and we’d have the gym back to ourselves.

Sound familiar?

What Goes Wrong with Resolutions?

[Tweet “What Goes Wrong with Resolutions?”]

Wikipedia describes New Year’s Resolution as:

New Year’s resolution, a commitment that an individual makes at New Year’s Day.

Notice the use of the word “commitment.” I think the reason many people fail at keeping their New Year’s resolutions is because they’re not making the “commitment” to anyone who will keep them accountable. It’s way too easy to give yourself a ton of grace and slack on the commitment you’ve made just to yourself.

[Tweet “I think the reason many people fail at keeping their New Year’s resolutions is because they’re not making the “commitment” to anyone who will keep them accountable.”]

If you want to make a change in your health and lifestyle, I’d like to propose that this year you make a three-fold commitment to God, another person, and yourself.

Commit to God

Journal or write down a letter to God delineating the changes you want to make. Keep this letter in your Bible and make it part of your daily quiet time. Maybe it will help you have a regular quiet time—that might be one of your resolutions. Read this letter every day for the next year. Be specific and ask God for His help in keeping you faithful to making the changes you’ve listed.

Commit to an Accountability Partner or Do a Bible Study Together

[Tweet “If you don’t tell your resolutions to anyone else, you may not be disciplined enough to stay faithful to your commitment.”]

If you don’t tell your resolutions to anyone else, you may not be disciplined enough to stay faithful to your commitment. Tell a family member or friend your resolutions and ask them to help keep you accountable. Let them know how you would like them to do that and ask them to pray for you to stick to your commitment.

Commit to Yourself—Love Yourself Enough to Change

[Tweet “Do you really want to live a healthier lifestyle?”]

Do you really want to live a healthier lifestyle? Do you want to lose weight? Reduce your cholesterol or blood pressure? Prevent diet-related diseases? Exercise more? Eat healthier? Only you can motivate you. No one can make you live healthier no matter how many “resolutions” or attempts you make. But you do have a choice to make those resolutions a reality not just dreaming.

[Tweet “Only you can motivate you. No one can make you live healthier!”]

I have to admit that as I write this Love Your Body blog post, I often wonder if anyone has made any healthy changes—does anyone care enough about themselves to try any of the suggestions I’ve been sharing? Seldom does anyone leave a comment, so I was asking God, “Am I talking to myself?”

The Lord answered in a very tangible way. The weekend before Thanksgiving 2014, my daughter and I spoke at the Nazarene Church in Ontario, Oregon. The first night, Janie Morey came up to me and told me that she had been reading my Love Your Body series and she and her husband decided to make some major diet and exercise changes with amazing results. I asked her if she would write a comment in Love Your Body During the Holidays blog post and she did. I’ve copied it here to encourage you to make 2018 the year you get, and stay, fit:

Thank you for the helpful ideas for loving our bodies to be healthy. Several months ago, I read your similar writing and was reminded that God loves us so, every part of us, including our bodies. I began praying for His help to get to a healthy weight. I have lost 22 pounds! Everything is better physically, but more importantly, my faith has been strengthened. For me, fitting exercise into every day is key. If I am not walking, I am doing physical work at the Love INC thrift store or doing Pilates (good for me at 64 years old!). Variety in exercise and food helps to keep up my healthy behaviors. Have you tried Farro? So delicious and whole grain! Cutting down on sweets and fats has sparked my appetite for the fresh vegetables that fill most of my plate these days. I use the app My Fitness Pal to keep track of what I eat. This app shows me that a cookie once-in-a-while is acceptable and my goal of healthy and balanced meals daily is possible. And lastly, I suggest getting a health buddy for support. Mine is my husband who has lost 35 pounds! Thanks Janet for reminding me to ask God for help…He loves us so!

I Want to Help You Have A . . .

I hope that Janie’s story inspires you. She started exercising, eating less sweets, eating more fresh vegetables, keeping track of what she ate, and most importantly, she enlisted the support of what she calls a “health buddy” and he got healthier too!

If you want me to pray for you to make healthy New Year’s resolutions, and keep them, leave a comment below with as many specifics as you feel comfortable sharing and I will commit to pray for you to be successful.

Commit to God—commit to a friend/family member—commit to yourself —commit to me. Together let’s make 2018 the year you Love Your Body like God loves your body!

Happy Healthy New Year!

Start 2018 living healthyYou might consider doing this study I wrote for First Place 4 Health!

January 29, 2018
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Mentoring Includes Allowing Women to Suffer by Kathy Collard Miller

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Mentoring Includes Allowing Women to Suffer to let God refine them.

So often I hear from parents and mentors who step in to try and shelter their mentee or children from suffering pain. It’s a natural protecting instinct. But Kathy Collard Miller asks us to consider: Are we getting in the way of God?

Mentoring Includes Allowing Women to Suffer

by Kathy Collard Miller

Over many years, I have taught small group women’s Bible studies and mentored many women. I’ve gone through the gamut of thinking my words will protect a woman and blaming myself when a woman doesn’t respond the way I’m leading. I’ve learned a prominent principle: trust God for a good plan even if God allows her to suffer difficulties.

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God the Father loved his only Son well to the maximum, but still asked Jesus to leave heaven’s joys to demonstrate the Father’s love for sinful humanity. All for the sake of bringing glory to the Father. God also suffered himself watching his beloved Son suffer. He provided darkness to cover his Son’s unbearable pain on the cross.

The physical suffering Jesus endured wasn’t the most painful aspect of his crucifixion. No, the most painful and important aspect was the indescribable emotional agony Jesus suffered by being separated from his Father’s fellowship. God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit had always enjoyed perfect fellowship, unity, and joy in each other. When Jesus took on the sins of the world, though he had lived a sinless life he became sinful, which separated him from perfect fellowship in the holy Trinity. That separation was the ultimate suffering. God’s heart grieved, yet he had a purpose in Jesus’ crucifixion.

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God Knows His Purposes for Us Struggling

I can’t imagine any of us willing to send our mentee to a cross. But we don’t need to willingly send anyone into difficulty because we’re all challenged more than enough in this sinful world. Yet God’s purpose is often to purify through trials. Cooperation with God’s purposes means we resist rescuing others, and especially excusing their sinful choices.

[Tweet “We’re all challenged more than enough just being part of this sinful world, yet God’s purpose is often to purify us through those trials.”]

Think of James 1:2-5.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Recently, I meditated on those verses from a different angle. When I try to protect or rescue anyone I’m mentoring, in a sense I’m standing before God exclaiming, “You may not speak James 1:2-5 to her. You may not challenge her to count it all joy. It’s just too much for me to think of her suffering. You aren’t capable of using this situation for her good. You being glorified through her difficulties is not as valuable to me as her comfort and ease.”

Isn’t That Shocking?

Are you shocked to think of it that way?

Here’s something even more shocking. In a sense, we’re demanding, “You must remove those verses from the Bible. They aren’t true.”

Shocking, yes, but we deceive ourselves thinking shielding our mentees is for their best. God doesn’t agree. He loves each one of us perfectly, and yet he says, “You will suffer and count it all joy.” Why? Because then, as the passage says, the payoff is strength, steadfastness, wisdom, growth, and maturity.

Aren’t those qualities what you desire for the woman you are mentoring? Only God’s use of difficulty will produce those benefits.

[Tweet “Aren’t strength, steadfastness, wisdom, growth, and maturity qualities you desire for your mentees? Only God’s use of difficulty will produce those benefits.”]

I’m not saying we never help or assist, advise, or support. But we must be honest about our motives in order to know what’s best for them. Sometimes we don’t want them to suffer because it hurts us to see their pain. Or if they struggle, it might reflect upon our own mentoring abilities. Desiring God’s glory clears up those muddy motives.

Over these many years, this principle has not only allowed me to get out of the way of God’s purifying work in others’ lives, but it has given me peace by trusting that God works through difficulty.

How has such a principle been helpful for you in your mentoring of others? Please leave a comment and share your thoughts. If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

Enter a book drawing for Kathy’s new book, Pure-Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory. Enter by January 29 by leaving a comment here along with your email address. The winner will be drawn on January 30. (US addresses only can win.)

Kathy Collard Miller author of Pure Hearted discusses letting mentees suffer as God uses their trials to strengthen them.

Learn more about starting a mentoring ministry in your church at womantowomanmentoring.com/mentoring/

For how to mentor women in all seasons of life and be a mentee in all seasons of life my new book Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness will be helpful.

Kathy Collard Miller writes about letting God work through suffering in mentoring.

Kathy Collard Miller is an award-winning author of over 50 books that include Christian living topics, women’s Bible studies, and Bible commentaries. She is a speaker who has shared in 8 foreign countries and over 30 US states. Kathy and Larry have been married for 47 years and are the parents of 2 and grandparents of 2. They live in Southern California and often write and speak together. Visit her at www.KathyCollardMiller.com. She would love to hear from you.

This guest blog is adapted from Pure-Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory. Filled with biblical principles, practical instruction, and motivational stories, Pure Hearted is written for women. Every chapter includes a profile of a biblical woman along with discussion questions for groups or individuals.

Order Pure-Hearted at: http://amzn.to/2jzYdWi

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January 22, 2018
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