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Guest Post by Kathy Howard “10 SIGNS of FLAT FAITH”

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I told her things I had always been too afraid to tell anyone before. My faith felt dead. I doubted my salvation. God seemed so distant. I saw something in Susan’s life I longed to have in mine. Her faith was vibrant and real. Even the way she talked about God demonstrated a dynamic in her relationship with Him that I lacked. I had been a Christian since childhood and actively served in church, but my face never lit up when Jesus was the topic of conversation.

While our toddlers played on the floor together nearby, I tearfully shared with Susan the doubts that had plagued me for nearly two decades. She listened with compassion, but she also challenged me to not be content with my condition.

Desperation gave way to vulnerability that day. Fed up and tired of trying to ignite my faith through my own works and activity, I humbly admitted I could not do it. Honesty with myself, Susan, and ultimately God opened the way for His activity. I could not make myself into what God wanted me to be. I could not find the abundant life Jesus promised. But God could do it all.

The encounter with Susan jump-started my journey toward a fiery faith. Along the way, God shifted a few of my attitudes and changed some of my actions to fire up my faith. God can use these same attitudes and actions to start a flame in your life.

What is Flat Faith?

The word flat can be defined as “without vitality or animation; lifeless; dull.”Many Christians with flat faith love Jesus and continue to serve Him, but they often feel as though they’re simply going through the motions of Christianity. Their love for Christ is short on passion. They serve largely out of a sense of duty or because that’s what they’ve always done. The routine of the Christian life may even feel superficial and directionless.

Although not an exhaustive list, here ten signs that may indicate your faith needs some pumping up:

  1. Relationship with Christ is not deepening and growing.
  2. Religious activities overshadow your relationship with Christ.
  3. Life of faith feels boring, tired, or overwhelming.
  4. Feeling of disconnect from God; no real sense of His presence or voice.
  5. Little excitement over or awareness of God’s activity.
  6. Little or no anticipation that God will work.
  7. Praise and worship feels dry and forced.
  8. Nagging sense you should be experiencing more.
  9. Notice fiery faith in others’ lives that you desire.
  10. Efforts and activity produce few results of eternal value.

Countless Christians experience flat faith. Some have never experienced a vibrant faith characterized by real intimacy with Christ. Flat faith is all they’ve known. Others have lost the passion for Christ they once had and desperately long to find it again.

Are You Fed Up? Let God Pump You Up!

What about you? Do you see yourself in the description above? Are you fed up? Pumped up, fiery faith is not only possible, God wants it to be yours. God never intended for our life of faith to be boring and cold. You can connect with God in real ways. You can experience His activity in and around you. Your life can bear fruit that lasts.

While we cannot grow our own faith, God expects our cooperation. He calls for our active and obedient participation in His work in our lives (1 Corinthians 9:24–27; 1 Timothy 4:7; Philippians 3:12–14). We can learn to position ourselves before God so He can accomplish in our lives the things that only He can accomplish.

The Bible is not silent about flat faith. Life examples and practical help for spiritual dryness pack the pages of Scripture. When you apply these truths to your life, you can follow God out of flat faith to a place where He can set your faith on fire!

My book, Fed Up with Flat Faith, highlights ten key attitudes and actions found in Scripture that help God’s people position themselves for Him to work in their lives. These ten practical, biblical steps of faith will shift your attitude and change your behavior to put you in the center of God’s activity.

Are you ready to let God pump up your flat faith? You don’t have to give up or pretend. You don’t have to settle. Instead, get fed up with flat faith and embrace the full life of faith Jesus offers.

This article is excerpted from the first chapter of Fed Up with Flat Faith: 10 Attitudes and Actions to Pump Up Your Faith by Kathy Howard.  Find out more about the book at http://www.kathyhoward.org/fed-up-with-flat-faith/  Fed Up with Flat Faith is available from your local Christian bookstore and all online stores.  Find out more about Kathy, her ministry, and her other books at www.kathyhoward.org.

FedUpFlatFaith_N134110

March 18, 2013
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Dear God, He’s Home! Part 2

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(This post is continued from last Monday. To read Part 1 go to March archives)

Dear God, He’s Home! Trailer

 

You, and He, Need an Outlet

When Bob retired, he bought two snowmobiles. I didn’t like those smelly things, but I didn’t want him to go alone. I was so happy when he met other snowmobilers and I didn’t have to go anymore! Then he started making friends who play golf and I gained some space to do my gardening.—Michelle

 Dear God, He's Home! T-shirt

A stay-at-home man can become a wife’s full-time job, as he tries to make her his new hobby! When does she retire from the household management or being a caregiver or parenting? Here are several creative ideas to help both of you adjust to, and even enjoy, this stay-at-home man season:

  • Develop individual hobbies, and if possible, do one together.
  • Both learn something you’ve always wanted to know how to do.
  • Leave the house on your own at least once a week.
  • Plan a weekly or monthly date together. Put it on your calendars.
  • If still parenting, join a babysitting co-op, trade off babysitting with friends, or if finances permit, hire a sitter and go have fun.
  • If you’re caring for a sick or disabled husband, ask a friend or family member to stay with him and do something for you—not just running errands and chores.
  • Exercise daily.
  • Serve as a volunteer for a charitable organization or a ministry.
  • When a husband retires, the wife retires from one home chore. Her choice.

Words of Wisdom from Wives with a Stay-at-Home Man

  • Make each day the best it can be. You don’t know how many days you’ll have left together. —Alice
  • Understand where your husband is at in his life and don’t make his retirement or at-home-experience miserable. —Alice
  • Don’t belittle or put down your husband—build him up. Find out his concerns and needs, don’t just focus on your own. —Alice
  • Communicate your needs honestly and lovingly. —Joan
  • When shopping together, pick a store that also has sporting, gardening, or electronic departments and let your husband browse or send him to find something. —Sue
  • What’s important to your spouse should also be important to you and what’s important to God should be important to both of you! —Janet (me)

My Stay-at-Home Man Shares

My husband, Dave, selflessly understood that I would have to write vulnerably and honestly about our messes and our miracles. In the Epilogue of Dear God, He’s Home!, Dave offers this closing advice:

So I leave you with these final words: Living with your spouse in stay-at-home man seasons of life, while different, is no more challenging than any other season of married life. You just have to constantly die to self as God teaches us, consider your spouse more important than yourself, and work as a team. I like the wise council I gleaned from Promise Keepers years ago and ultimately conveyed to my son, sons-in-law, and men’s small group studies—marriage isn’t a 50/50 proposition as proposed by some, but 100/0. If you give 100% and expect zero in return, you’ll grow to love your spouse as Christ loved the church, and your marriage will thrive.

This is a continuation of Part 1 posted last Monday. To read part 1 go to March archives)

March 11, 2013
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Dear God, He’s Home!

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Today, I’m doing the happy dance because tomorrow, March 5, my book Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man releases.This book is the third in the “Dear God” series. The first two are: Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey and Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey. I’ve traveled these three journeys, and my hope is to mentor, bless, and encourage other women who are on the journey now.

Last week, I received the author’s copies of Dear God, He’s Home! and holding your new “baby” never gets old. Today’s blog is part of a two-part post that will introduce you to the heart of the book. Next Monday you will hear from my stay-at-home man.

Photo: Look what was waiting for me when we got home tonight! Another baby birthed LOL:)

The wife of a stay-at-home man is going to talk to God—a lot!

Maybe she’ll write a cathartic letter in her journal: Dear God,. . . . Another wife might begin her pleading or thankful prayers with “Dear God,”. . . . Still other wives in times of desperation or frustration cry out, “Dear God, HE’S HOME!”

The various times my husband has been a “Stay-at-Home Man,” I regularly expressed each of those “Dear Gods,” as do the wives who submitted stories for my book Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man. So if you have a stay-at-home man and he’s driving you crazy, don’t feel guilty if you haven’t always been joyous about this new closeness in your marriage relationship. And don’t feel alone. When I sent out a request for stories of women with a husband home due to retirement, illness, disability, out of work, home office, the military . . . whatever reason…the stories flowed into my inbox and my ears.

With unemployment at an all-time high, baby boomers reaching retirement age by the droves, military pulling out of many areas and returning home, businesses down-sizing or setting up virtual offices in homes, chances are pretty good you either are or know a woman with a stay-at-home man.

Whenever I mention the title of my book, wives smirk with raised eyebrows and knowingly remark, “Boy, do I have a story for you!” “I need this book.” “I know someone who could use this book.” Or “I’m going to need this book soon, write fast!”

Myriad emotions and reactions erupt from both spouses when an otherwise out-of-the-home-every-day husband is suddenly home all day—every day. Many wives have their own label for this occurrence. In Honey, I’m Home for Good!, Mary Ann Cook calls it spouse-in-the-house syndrome.” Then there’s retired-husband syndrome” or military reintegration syndrome.

Every couple’s response to their unique syndrome evolves from how they’ve dealt with previous transitions in their relationship. Couples who stumbled and fumbled without finding workable resolutions in the past, will probably stumble and fumble through this new situation too. However, couples who have successfully developed and implemented coping techniques may be better equipped to adjust to a full time “stay-at-home man.” Even so, unexpected issues can blindside both spouses.

There’s no age qualifier for a husband suddenly being home 24/7. Sometimes it comes as a shock and other times it’s the natural progression of expected retirement or return from deployment. But even when we know it’s coming, the reality of a hubby being home full-time can still be shocking and disarming. A woman recently wrote me:

My dad has just announced that he’ll be retiring the end of March, so I’m excited to read your book and send it along to my mom afterwards. We didn’t handle his retirement from the Marine Corps so well 20 years ago. I was just laughing about it with him on the phone today, but he has better laid plans to transition out this time around.

Planning is essential, if you have that luxury. Each time my husband has been home, it’s always been a surprise and no time to plan. It hit us both hard and we struggled through adapting to the transitions and changes we each experienced.

For Better or For Worse but Not For Lunch

There’s a universal frustration expressed by wives of stay-at-home husbands: He’s invading “my space” and my work load is increasing while his is decreasing. The prospect of fixing lunch every day can push a wife over the top.  John expresses the lament of many wives:

When I retired from the Navy (and was a stay at home retiree) my wife (after a few weeks) said, “I promised for better or worse, but I didn’t promise lunch every day. Go out and get another job. So I did…John

John J. Cline

 John

Not every husband can go out and get another job, at least not right away. Instead of feeling resentful or overwhelmed, we wives need to put into perspective issues like lunch or helping with household duties and discuss with our husbands in the same way we would discuss a major decision or planning a trip—talk it out.

Most husbands were used to eating lunch somewhere —maybe driving up to a takeout window, or sitting in a restaurant and ordering, or going to the lunchroom and eating the lunch we packed. They don’t know how to change that pattern unless we help redirect them to making their own lunches now or going out with the guys. One husband, who went from working in an office to working out of the home, still gets in his car and drives to lunch. It was what he always did and it feels right. I’m sure it feels right to his wife too!

Part 2 of Dear God, He’s Home! to be continued next Monday Morning. Have a great week. I’m going to have fun sharing my book with wives who I hope will be blessed and encouraged in this season of their lives.

We’re Running a Special for the Month of March

At our website store, you can purchase Dear God, He’s Home!  personalized and signed for only $9.99 (regular price $14.99) for the month of March.

If you would like to read the first two chapters go to this snippet.

Next week I’ll have a book trailer to share with you.

March 4, 2013
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Goodreads Book Giveaway

Dear God, He's Home! by Janet Thompson

Dear God, He’s Home!

by Janet Thompson

Giveaway ends March 16, 2013.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

 

https://womantowomanmentoring.com/2013/02/16857/

February 25, 2013
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40 Years of Love!

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“I’m sorry, but you’ll never have children.” Those were the doctor’s words to me at a post-op visit after surgery for a ruptured ovarian cyst. “Your ovaries look like those of a 90 year-old woman.” I was a twenty year-old, newly engaged college student. My life was over. Or so I thought.

After three years of marriage, I was thrilled to hear another doctor congratulate me: “You’re pregnant!” My mother called it a miracle, but I just wanted to be like any normal woman who could get pregnant and have a baby.

The last week of pregnancy, when my baby was a week overdue, everyone kept calling to see if I was “still home.” I enjoyed every moment of those 9 months and one week, and even steeled myself through a natural, long delivery, but nothing could prepare me for what it would feel like to hold my baby girl—instant, unconditional love.

I was a mom at last! But I had no concept of the life-changing responsibility I was undertaking or the importance of my being an exemplary role model for her. After all, she was just an infant and I would have so many years to work out all the details of mothering.

Where did those years go? This week, February 26, my baby girl, Kimberly Michele, turns 40 and she is a mother herself of three precious children. I remember the day I turned 40 and it doesn’t seem that long ago.

Kim and I didn’t have the life journey I anticipated upon first looking into her dark brown eyes. When she was only 2 years-old, her dad and I divorced, and I would spend the next seventeen years as a single mom juggling motherhood and a career. To the outside world, I did a great job as I moved up the career ladder of success; but as I moved further into the world and father away from the Jesus I asked into my heart at eleven, I role modeled the world’s ways to Kim.

Kim loved our life and all that I was able to provide her, even though she often cried that she missed me, as I headed off on another business trip. But we had time, right? She was still young and eighteen years is a long time…. I’ll make up to her the time we’ve been apart.

But in a blink of an eye, she was sixteen and dating. Then within moments, she was nineteen and declaring she was going off to college to live with her boyfriend, and she didn’t care what I had to say about it. I had recently rededicated my life to the Lord and was now trying to tell her this lifestyle was wrong, but she wasn’t buying it.

I mistakenly thought that when I changed my life and returned to God, she would follow right behind me. Wrong! That’s when the Lord assured me that, yes, I had let the first nineteen years of her life slip by without including Him in the parenting, but it wasn’t over yet. And so I began praying—daily, biblically, expectantly, persistently, sacrificially, unceasingly, and thankfully—as I describe in the first seven chapters of my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter.

I’d like to say that she instantly changed her ways, but it would be another six years of daily praying before she returned to me and to the Lord.

The Lord graciously restored the years the locust had eaten. I had the opportunity to do what I should have done from the day she was born: mentor her in how to be a godly woman. Today, I am so proud of the woman she has become. We’re now speaking together as “Two About His Work,” and she’s giving her testimony in a few weeks at her MOPS group.

Even through the difficult years, my love for Kim never faltered. She knew I didn’t condone her behavior, but neither did I condemn her. Our relationship has endured and grown stronger in spite of divorce, single parenthood, a traveling mom, both our prodigal years, my remarriage and blending a new family, my breast cancer, her infertility, and all the trials and joys of life.

I thought I would feel terribly old the day she turned 40; but instead, I feel blessed with the 40 years God has given me to love my precious daughter, and I’m grateful that the work He has done in my life will carry on through the work He is doing in her life. She’s my legacy, and I have given her the most valuable of inheritances: belief in Jesus Christ. 40 years is nothing in light of spending eternity together.

Mentoring Words to Moms:

  • Are you the woman today you want your daughter to become?  You’re the closest role model and mentor your daughter has.
  • It’s never too early to pray daily for your children. Pray for them before you have a problem.
  • Praying personalized Scripture—God’s Word back to Him—keeps you praying God’s will and not your own.
  • Enjoy every day of your children’s lives—they never get younger and neither to do you. Make each day count.

Janet-and-Kim

My daughter Kim and I speak together as Two About His Work.

February 25, 2013
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Whose Birthday Is It?

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Who are these men?

I asked my Facebook friends if they knew which president’s birthdays we were celebrating today and when their real birthdays were. As it turned out, the only ones who knew the answer were probably 50 or older. Do you know?

I was prompted to ask “Whose birthday are we celebrating on President’s Day” when I mentioned to a 28-year old friend that my husband and I were going to see the movie Lincoln. I said I thought it was appropriate since his birthday was the previous day, February 12. She said, “Oh, really?” I knew that fact had escaped her.

Then I spoke at a MOPS group and one of the young mothers at my table admitted that she only knew whose birthday we celebrated on “President’s Day” because her young son came home from school and told her.

When I was growing up, we had two president’s birthday holidays in February, and we knew why we were out of school. Until 1971, both February 12 and February 22 were observed as federal public holidays to honor the actual birthdays of Abraham Lincoln (February 12) and George Washington (February 22). In 1971, President Richard Nixon proclaimed one single federal public holiday, the Presidents’ Day, to be observed on the 3rd Monday of February.

So President Nixon gave America a three day weekend, instead of the two separate holidays of Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays. It’s not unusual to celebrate a birthday on a different day than it actually falls, especially for children’s birthdays so they can have a Saturday party with their friends, but we never forget their actual birth date. And how would you feel if for convenience, your parents made you celebrate your birthday every year with another sibling, or maybe a distant relative, so the family would only have to come to one party? Maybe that did happen to you . . . and I wonder how you felt about it.

The fall out of “President’s Day” is that there are now generations who enjoy a three day weekend in February, but have absolutely no idea why they have the day off.

How many generations does it take to make something obsolete? The answer: One.

As has happened with honoring the birthdays of the first president of the United States and the president who emancipated the slaves, if we don’t pass down the Christian faith to the next generation, Jesus’ birthday and ministry could also become obsolete.

We see this every Christmas and Easter when the secular world tries to take Jesus out of the celebration, and it will happen in our Christian world too…families…children…generations to come. . . if we don’t continue to tell the Gospel story of Jesus and His love.

As the Scriptures say,

“People are like grass;
 their beauty is like a flower in the field.
The grass withers and the flower fades.
     But the word of the Lord remains forever.—1 Peter 1:24

 

 

PS: Take advantage of a preorder special on Dear God, He’s Home! until its release date 3/5!

February 17, 2013
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Who’s Your First Love?

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True Love Heart

February is the month of love and romance. Red and pink hearts are everywhere in honor of Valentine’s Day—the universal day for showing and sharing love. Of course, we don’t just love in the month of February—or one day a year—but it is the day we focus on finding ways to demonstrate our love.

Little children certainly don’t limit their display of love to just one day! Whenever my grandkids come to visit, they leave me love notes with their sweet heart drawings all over the house and on my white board. And at home they do the same for mommy and daddy. They seem to have an abundance of love and they don’t mind telling the world about it!

Brandon's love note

Fill in the blank with the first thing that comes to your mind: I LOVE_________

 Love is a word we often use loosely and it can take on many different meanings….

  • I love pizza!
  • I love pink!
  • I love my husband!
  • I love my kids!
  • I love my new vacuum!
  • I love Trader Joe’s!

I think you get the idea. Obviously we love our husbands and kids more than we love pizza. So how would you fill in the following blank?

My FIRST love is _____________.

You might have had trouble completing that sentence. If you’re married, how could you possibly differentiate between your husband and your children as your first love? If you have more than one child . . . how could you determine which one of them you love first? You can’t. But when you fill in that blank with…My FIRST love is Jesus . . . He gives you the ability to have limitless love for Him and for others:

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”—Matthew 22:37-40 The Message

You probably know people who would fill in the blank with …

  • My FIRST love is myself.
  • My FIRST love is my career.
  • My FIRST love is fame and fortune.
  • My FIRST love is my car or house or bank account…..

Every day we see on the news or in our neighborhoods, the tragic results of lives lived with the wrong priorities.

Analogy: Earthy Love and Love for Jesus

I once read a satirical advice column:  Dear Dr. Lovelorn, Where do I go to find a lukewarm love for the rest of my life to grow old with?

Of course, none of us ever plan for our romantic love to turn lukewarm. Remember when you were first in love: when time, money, and energy were never a concern. You talked lovingly about each other nonstop, couldn’t stand to be apart, showered each other with affection, and wanted the whole world to know you were in love.

Then when you marry and children join your happy family, it becomes harder and harder to find the time, money, and energy to expend on each other. Yes, your love has matured, but you have to be careful that mature love doesn’t mean the passion and excitement has turned to lukewarm and routine. Even God wants our marriages to stay as on fire, as when we were first in love….

“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 18-18 NLT)

God also wants us to maintain the passion and excitement we had when we first fell in love with His Son, Jesus. Have you been around a new believer lately? They have a radiance and glow…just like a new bride. New believers are on fire for the Lord and there’s a joy and exuberance about them that’s contagious and often leads others to want to know where this new found joy came from.

But as we spiritually mature, we may become like the church in Ephesus who Jesus spoke of in Revelations 2:4-5 (NIV): “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.  Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”

Removing the lampstand meant they would no longer be an effective church . . . effective Christian witness . . . effective role model to the next generation.

Only when we place Jesus first in our life and heart, can we love others with a genuine Christ-like love. It’s His love that fuels us to be better wives and mothers and grandmothers. . . . women. Jesus helps us do things for our families lovingly, not dutifully. There’s a difference between preparing a delicious meal because we love our family, versus throwing something together just to get them fed.

How Do We Return To Our First Love?

Just like we have to make an effort to rekindle the romantic fire in our marriages, we occasionally have to reignite the fire for Jesus in our hearts! Here’s an acrostic for L O V E that works for me, and I know it will work for you too:

Linger with Him!

“Oh, how I love your instructions!  I think about them all day long.”—Psalm 119:97 NLT

Find ways to have a quiet time with the Lord every day. I know that’s not always easy if you Susanna Wesleyhave small children; but take a tip from Susanna Wesley, the mother of John and Charles Wesley, the founders of the Methodist movement. Susanna had 19 pregnancies, and 10 of her children lived past the age of two. That in itself requires great faith, but even with 10 children running around, Susanna believed strongly in daily prayer and if she couldn’t find a private place in the house to pray, she put her apron over her head as a sign to the children to be extra quiet, mom was praying!

 

Find that private place in your home where you can “throw your apron over your head” and help yoMother Daughter prayingur children learn to respect your time of prayer and reading your Bible. This will teach them more about the value of prayer than any Bible study. My daughter has three children 4, 7, 8 and she just read the Bible in a year on her phone by using YouVersion.

cell phone

 Obsess Over Him!

“I will praise the Lord at all times.  I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together.”—Psalm 34:1-3 NLT

The dictionary describes obsession as:

  • Preoccupied
  • Dominated
  • Fixed
  • Immersed in
  • Gripped by
  • An Infatuation
  • A Passion

AH…that we would all be deliriously, madly, and obsessively in love with Jesus!

Value Him!

“Let the whole earth sing to the Lord! Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does.  Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods.”—1 Chronicles 16:23-25

Synonyms for value:

  • Worthy
  • Worship
  • Love

We can tell what we value most by looking at our checkbooks and our calendar. Where do you spend most of your money and time? Ask yourself if it has Kingdom value.

Enjoy Him!

I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence.—Proverbs 8:30 NIV

Happy In the Lord

When we L O V E Jesus Christ with total abandonment, our hearts begin to change and we’re able to reach out with His love to those around us and L O V E them as Jesus commanded:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”—John 13:34-35 NIV.

 

Share with us ways you’ve found to keep Jesus first in your life and how you L-inger with O-bsess over V-alue and E-njoy Him!

Have a Happy Jesus is “My First Love” Day!

PS: You might also find it helpful to do my Bible study Face-to-Face with Priscilla and Aquila: Balancing Life and Ministry

February 11, 2013
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Thoughts on the New Website

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Launching this new website has been joyful and painful! The excitement of having something new and fresh was often overshadowed by the amount of work and time required. Then when we were ready to “go live,” the site crashed as we were loading it onto the domain–more work, more time, more money.

But we (my helpmate hubby, Dave, our wonderful web designer Holly Smith of Crown Laid Down Designs, and me) persevered because we knew this would be a ministry tool and we had prayed continually for God’s guidance and direction.

So I found peace in knowing there must have been something God wanted us to learn, and just maybe the recaptured and reloaded site would be even better than the one that crashed.

Honestly, we have looked at it for so long, and tweaked it here and there, but you the reader and viewer are our best critiques. My goal was for it to be:

  • Easy to navigate
  • Engaging
  • Enlightening
  • Entertaining

Please give us your comments in those areas. We welcome your thoughts and ideas. Don’t tell us what you think we want to hear. Let us know what works and what doesn’t work.

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Proverbs 12:1

 

So we’re ready now to hear what you have to say. And of course, you can also tell us the things you like about it.

About His Work

Janet
January 27, 2013
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Welcome to My New Blog

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I’m so glad you’ve found my blog and hope you’ll sign up to follow my weekly Monday posts…and comment on what you read!

Today we’re launching my new website, which I hope you’ll browse and enjoy!

You’ll see that I write, speak, and offer support on a variety of topics, so the content of my blogs will vary. If a particular topic doesn’t apply to your life, you probably know someone who could benefit from you sharing the blog with them! That’s mentoring: Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s faithfulness–my passion and my mission.

If you’re new to my blog, welcome. If you’ve been following me, I hope you enjoy the new look. Let me know what you think!

About His Work,

Janet

January 19, 2013
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Are You the Mentor You Want to Be?

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In the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry, I often heard Mentors complain about their Mentees but sometimes the Mentor may actually be the problem.

I thought it would be great to start out the New Year sharing an article by Stephanie Shott on The Mom Initiative (TMI) Website. To learn more about TMI go to www.themominitiative.com,

5 Types of Mentors That Drive Mentees Crazy & 2 MORE GIVEAWAYS & SIGN UP to LEAD A M.O.M. INITIATIVE MENTOR GROUP By Stephanie Shott

Let’s face it, not all mentor/mentee relationships were made in heaven. Some can be tough. At times personalities don’t gel. That’s human nature and a wise mentor will see that she’s not the girl for the job and gently remove herself while trying to replace herself at the same time.
There’s something beautiful about a mentor/mentee relationship that works, but that doesn’t always happen.
It’s like a ship that sets sail with two people on it. Sometimes they enjoy the ride, other times they’re ready to throw each other overboard. :-)
At times, the mentee is to blame. Other times, it’s the mentor who is responsible for mucking up the mentor waters and making a mentee want to throw her overboard. And then there are times when it’s just not working for either of them and it’s really no one’s fault.
Today, we’re going to share a few ways in which a mentor can blow it with a mentee:

images-41. SMARTY-PANTS BULLY ~ The Mentor Momma who KNOWS EVERYTHING and for some reasons, she always seems ANGRY ~

If you’ve ever been around someone who thinks she has all the answers and comes across like she’s ready to bite your head off, you know exactly what I’m talking about. She’s intimidating… daunting. She makes you feel like you can never do anything right and you certainly don’t want to ask Mrs. Know-It-All any questions.
Every time she leaves, you wonder why in the world she would ever mentor a mother and you hope she decides you’re wasting her time so she won’t come back.
You’d tell her you don’t want her to come back yourself, but the thought of doing that scares the bajeebers out of you.
Like the bully in grade school, she thinks she knows everything and always acts like she’s mad at you.

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2. NOSY NELLIE ~ The Mentor Momma who seems to think she has to have her nose in your business in order to be a good mentor.

We’ve all known someone who thought her job was to mind your business instead of her own. The one who asks probing and personal questions that catch you off guard leave you feeling very uncomfortable.
She makes you wonder if what you tell her will be held in confidence because she spends most of your time together talking about other people.
You begin to avoid spending time with her because she’s so stinkin’ nosy. Finally, you find yourself leaving the house before she gets there to run an ‘emergency’ errand so you can miss your scheduled time with her.
Like the nosy high school friend you avoided, Nosy Nellie has a knack for running people off and then wonders why no one wants to spend any time with her.

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3. LOUSY LISTENER ~ The Mentor Momma who is there to tell you about all her troubles and leaves you wondering if she will ever be quiet.

We all know it’s not easy to be around someone who is so busy talking about themselves that they never stop long enough to listen. They’re relentless and they drive you crazy! All you can think of is, “Could someone PLEASE stop her!”
She really doesn’t have any interest in mentoring you. She is there to talk. And talk. And talk.
You start fidgeting in your chair and waiting for the second she stops long enough to catch her breath so you can tell her that you need to go to the grocery store, or take the dog to the vet, or get to your doctor’s appointment…something, anything to get away from the non-stop rambling.
You thought she was there to mentor you, but she’s a lousy listener who would rather talk your ear off than take time to listen to the one she should be ministering to.

images-34. DOUBLE TROUBLE ~ The Mentor Momma who thinks she needs to bring in reinforcements and gang up on you to get her point across.

You know her. She’s the one who can’t be just ONE. She seems to have the need to bring someone else into your very personal conversation and makes you feel like you’re being battered by both of them.
She told you everything would be confidential and then she shows up with someone else to tell you twice what she has already told you once.
She’s like the girl in high school who always had to have other girls around to validate her. When you see her coming, you know it’s really double trouble because someone else will be with her to mimic what she says. So you try to avoid her like the plague.

images-15. EXCUSE MAKING MOMMA ~ The Mentor Momma who has an excuse for everything. She tends to run late, isn’t prepared, doesn’t have her act together and constantly makes excuses for herself.

We all have friends like this. They leave you waiting at Starbucks for 30 minutes and when they get there, they give you the same excuse as they gave you last week.
They told you to read through chapters 1 through 5 of Overwhelmed and you did. But when she arrives she lays out a list of excuses as to why she couldn’t come prepared.
She doesn’t have any problems making plans. She just can’t seem to keep them. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t remember the plans she makes.
It’s always someone else’s fault that she struggles with being unorganized. It’s always someone else’s fault that she lost her keys or loses her temper.
She’s like your little brother who loved to play the blame game and point his fingers at you. She’s an excuse making momma and she simply wears you out with her excuses.
So, there you have it. Five types of mentors that drive mentees crazy.
The mentor/mentee relationship is really such a beautiful thing. It is meant to strengthen both the mentor and the mentee. It’s a pouring out and a drinking in. Two women doing life together. Maybe not forever. Perhaps just for a season. 
But it’s a journey the two take together. Laughing together, crying together, praying together and doing life together.
That, sweet sister, is what mentoring is all about.
And when it works, there’s nothing like it.
And when it doesn’t, it’s not time to give up on the wonders of a Titus 2 relationship. It’s just time to find a new Titus 2 mentor or time for the Titus 2 mentor to be a woman whose footprints are worth following.
Do you have any mentoring horror stories? Would you be a mentor that would fall in any of the 5 categories above? How can you make sure you’re leaving footprints worth following?

 

January 10, 2013
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