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How to Share the Easter Message with Your Children & Grandchildren

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 Kathy Howard Easter 1969

Kathy Howard with her father and brother, Easter 1969

In preparation for Easter, I’m sharing this post written by my dear friend and fellow author, Kathy Howard. She has some great ideas and projects for helping our families remember the real reason for Easter, beyond the Easter baskets and brunch…

Easter Memories

Rich memories of childhood Easters keep popping up in my mind. I can still feel the cold metal of the folding chair as I sat with my family in the church parking lot waiting for the first rays of the sun to make their appearance. And with the sun, the somber notes of “low in the grave He lay…” became the joyous thunder of “up from the grave He arose (He arose), with a mighty triumph o’er His foes.” After prayer and singing, everyone escaped the chilly air and enjoyed pancakes and sausage in the church fellowship hall.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the impact Easter had on me as a child. I also have wonderful memories of Christmas, but Easter took root in my soul from an early age. Even then, I must have sensed the eternal significance of Christ’s death and resurrection. As parents and grandparents, we have a great opportunity – and God-given responsibility – to make sure our children understand the great truth and power of Easter.

5 Ways to Celebrate a Meaningful Easter

Below are five easy, but memorable, ways to help your children understand the Easter story. Make sure you check out the links for details and more information:

1.     Make a Set of Resurrection Eggs – This is a fun way to “concretely” share the Easter story with your kids. You can purchase a ready-made set, but putting them together with your kids is part of the fun. Here are the instructions for making your own Resurrection Eggs.

Resurrection Eggs

2.     Watch a Movie Together – One great way to start a conversation with your children about the Easter is by watching a movie that portrays the Easter story or illustrates its truths. Several great ones are available. Just choose one that is age-appropriate for the kids in your life. Here are a few suggestions:

3.     Attend a Good Friday Service or Event – Many churches have services on Good Friday to help us remember Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf. This is a great opportunity to talk about Jesus’ death and what it accomplished for us. Cochrane, the small town where we lived in Canada, had a “Cross Walk.” Members from all areas of the community met downtown and prayerfully followed the cross as a volunteer carried it through the streets.

 
4.     Make Resurrection Cookies – Use this tasty object lesson to teach your kids about the empty tomb. Make them on Saturday night and enjoy them first thing Sunday. Here’s the recipe and how-to’s for Resurrection Cookies.

 
5.     Experience the Easter Sunrise – Like the women who went to the tomb, be up and ready to greet the first light of Sunday morning. You can do this at an official sunrise service or in your own backyard. Friday was somber. Sunday is a celebration! (And don’t forget the pancake breakfast!)

I’d love to hear about your childhood Easter memories! Also, please share ways you celebrate Easter with your kids and grandkids.

April 7, 2014
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Even Hollywood Gets It!

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The Search for Santa Paws

What do the following movies have in common?

Meet the Robinsons, Elf, Kung Fu Panda 2, The Search For Santa Paws, Les Miserables, Annie, Cinderella, Peter Pan, Aladdin.

Any ideas?

My grandkids were visiting this past weekend and they brought their DVD’s. They chose to watch The Search For Santa Paws one night, a movie I hadn’t seen. As I started watching it with them, I had a “Holy Spirit” moment when I realized one of the subplots was about orphans being rescued from a bad foster care home and being adopted by a couple who couldn’t have children. The next night they watched Kung Fu Panda 2 and this movie also had an orphan theme.

I had already planned this post for Monday, but I realized the Lord was opening my eyes to how many movies are about orphans or orphanages. One website said there are 599 movies with an orphan theme, including the ones I listed above.

The Bible says “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you” (James 1:27 NLT). It’s interesting that even Hollywood understands that passage.

A baby—precious, fragile, helpless, dependent, sweet, needy, and full of potential—without a family is destitute, institutionalized, alone . . .  heartbreaking.

Any child at any age without a home, without a family, without love is heartbreaking.

James 1:27 tells the church, and every Christian, that it isn’t enough to feel sad or compassionate about an orphan. The very foundation of our faith says we will take care of them. I have to think that when God uses the term “caring for orphans”, He means more than putting them in orphanages and the foster care system—He means they are the personal responsibility of the church.

National Adoption Awareness Month

November has been designated National Adoption Awareness Month, and specifically this year, November 23 is National Adoption Day. Eight years ago, my family became a “forever family” to my precious grandson, Brandon, and he became legally ours in a courtroom on National Adoption Day. We can’t imagine our family without Brandon, and I try not to focus on what his life would have been like had his teenage mother not put him up for adoption—or even worse—had she availed herself to a morning after pill or aborted her baby or left him on a doorstep. I’m still in awe and wonder that God bestowed such a precious gift to our family— baby Brandon.

God’s Plan A

Today 1 in 6 couples struggle with infertility, but with advances in infertility treatment, adoption is not always considered a viable option, or maybe considered as a Plan B when all else fails. My daughter Kim and her husband Toby, Brandon’s “forever parents,” struggled for years with infertility and, then, felt God calling them to a “ministry of adoption.” Many of you may have felt that same call to adopt a child into your family and have experienced the joys and blessings of “caring for the orphans.” It was never meant to be Plan B, it’s always been God’s Plan A. But my daughter stresses that a couple shouldn’t consider adoption until they can look at it as God’s plan for them becoming a family or adding to their family.

Adoption blesses the adopted family, the adopted child, and the birth mom.

God’s Plan for Orphans Is Not Just for the Infertile

In the Bible, God talked openly, and often, about orphans and the responsibility of the church to take care of them. Many churches today focus on caring for other nation’s orphans, which is admirable. But what about the orphans in their own communities and in the overflowing foster care system?

It’s an awesome thing to have your family sponsor a child through Compassion International or one of the other Christian organizations that help indigent children in foreign countries, but it’s also our calling to do something up close and personal for a child without a family in our country.

One of my son-in-laws regularly visited the local county orphanage to play with the children. Sadly, the foster care programs today are overflowing with children who need a loving, Christian home and parents. What is your church doing to help? What are you doing? What is your family doing?

Facts from The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute Website

In the U.S. 400,540 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. 115,000 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 40% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted.  Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

Around the world, there are an estimated 153 million orphans who have lost one parent. There are 17,900,000 orphans who have lost both parents and are living in orphanages or on the streets and lack the care and attention required for healthy development. These children are at risk for disease, malnutrition, and death. Source: UNICEF and Childinfo

According to the U.S. State Department, U.S. families adopted more than 9,000 children in 2011. Last year, Americans adopted the highest number of children from China followed by Ethiopia, Russia, South Korea, and Ukraine. Source: United States State Department

No child under three years of age should be placed in institutional care without a parent or primary caregiver. This is based on results from 32 European countries, including nine in-depth country studies, which considered the “risk of harm in terms of attachment disorder, developmental delay and neural atrophy in the developing brain.” Source: Mapping the Number and Characteristics of Children Under Three in Institutions Across Europe at Risk of Harm: Executive Summary

Children raised in orphanages have an IQ 20 points lower than their peers in foster care, according to a meta-analysis of 75 studies (more than 3,800 children in 19 countries). This shows the need for children to be raised in families, not in institutions. Source: IQ of Children Growing Up in Children’s Homes A Meta-Analysis on IQ Delays in Orphanages

Each year, over 27,000 youth “age out” of foster care without the emotional and financial support necessary to succeed. This number has steadily risen over the past decade. Nearly 40% had been homeless or couch surfed, nearly 60% of young men had been convicted of a crime, and only 48% were employed. 75% of women and 33% of men receive government benefits to meet basic needs. 50% of all youth who aged out were involved in substance use and 17% of the females were pregnant. Source: Fostering Connections

Nearly 25% of youth aging out did not have a high school diploma or GED, and a mere 6% had finished a two- or four-year degree after aging out of foster care. One study shows 70% of all youth in foster care have the desire to attend college. Source: Midwest Evaluation of the Adult Functioning of Former Foster Youth

As of 2011, nearly 60,000 children in foster care in the U.S. are placed in institutions or group homes, not in traditional foster homes. Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

States spent a mere 1.2-1.3% of available federal funds on parent recruitment and training services even though 22% of children in foster care had adoption as their goal. Source: Adoption Advocate No. 6: Parent Recruitment and Training: A Crucial, Neglected Child

Over three years is the average length of time a child waits to be adopted in foster care. Roughly 55% of these children have had three or more placements. An earlier study found that 33% of children had changed elementary schools five or more times, losing relationships and falling behind educationally. Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

What is Our Responsibility as a Church?

As Christians, we should understand the concept of adoption since we’re all adopted into the family of God.

As you give thanks around your tables this Thanksgiving for the blessings and the families God has given you, who do you need to reach out to who longs for a family of their own— the orphans, the empty-arms parents, the pregnant women trying to decide what to do with her baby?

Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans. (Isaiah 1:17 NLT)

 

My daughter Kim, and other mommies-in-waiting, tell their adoption stories in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey. We’re running a special for the remainder of November and December on this book at our website shop. If you know a couple struggling with infertility, or you are that couple, give a gift of hope and encouragement.

We officially became Brandon’s forever family on Adoption Day 2005 but he had been “ours” since he was three weeks old. By the time Adoption Day rolled around, he had a baby sister, Katelyn! God doubly blessed us all. Here he is with mommy and daddy and the judge who made it legal! What an amazing day it was and still is…

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November 18, 2013
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Communicating More But Saying Less

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Everyone looking down at a techie device

Does this conversation on a recent television sitcom between a mother and daughter regarding the son/brother who is away at college, resonate with you like it did with me?

Mom: I wrote him this big long email and he sent me a text! By the way, don’t send a text in response to an email. That’s just rude! He said, ‘Going to class gtg’. What does gtg mean?

Daughter: It means . . . ya know . . . Got to go.

Mom: What is ‘brb’?

Daughter: Be right back.

Mom: And then here’s the biggest insult, ‘love u’. Just ‘u’, not the whole word! I gave birth to ‘u’, don’t I deserve the ‘y’ and the o’? Then he sent me this little yellow smiley face. What’s that?

Daughter: A little emoji art for you.

Mom: I want to emoji art back. Show me how. Maybe he’ll respond to me then!

Are you laughing as hard as I did? I was watching this program with my adult daughter with whom I’ve had similar conversations. Here’s how the evolution of communication has spiraled with this daughter and with her brothers and sisters and their spouses! Anything similar happen in your family?

  • The phone: We had frequent conversations on old fashioned, landline phones.
  • Cell phones: Then came cell phones and we all went on the family plan and talked often.
  • Email: Free on the computer! No long distance charges or using cell minutes, so we wrote long emails regularly to each other. Even though I did miss hearing their voices, I loved receiving their newsy emails.
  • Facebook: I first got on Facebook to see what my daughter and grandkids were doing, since she stopped sending pictures by email and was only posting them on her timeline. Then, I started communicating with my readers more via Facebook, but my daughter started posting less.
  • Pinterest: “Mom you have to get on Pinterest,” so I did. Again, it was a great networking tool with my readers, but I seldom see my daughter on it anymore.
  • Smart Phones: All the kids got smart cell phones with virtual keyboards, which are a pain to type on, and if you try the speaker…who knows what embarrassing words you might be sending because the print is small and you can’t see the screen in the sunlight. But I got one anyway . . . . Even though they could receive email on their phones, the kids still didn’t respond to emails.
  • Texting: Then the kids did an intervention with my husband and me insisting that we add texting to our phone plan because that’s how they wanted to communicate with us. So we did, but again typing on phone keyboards is difficult—words are limited, and we have a limited texting plan. But they do respond better to texting, except our “conversations” now go something like this:

Wen wil u b here?

dnt no

How r u

Fine smiley face  or sometimes just smiley face

Meeting Them Where They’re At

I’ve seen some funny Facebook posts about moms and grandmas trying to text or use the speaker and the crazy things they end up “saying.” I haven’t mastered many of the imojis, and didn’t even know that’s what they’re called until I heard it on the above TV program. It took me forever to figure out how to make a heart, and I still haven’t mastered the wink, nor do I understand most other “imojis.”

However, I’ve learned: if I want to stay in communication with my kids and grandkids, I must learn to adjust, adapt, and appreciate new ways of communicating with a good attitude. It’s useless to continue sending emails that seldom get a reply. If texting is the way to get a response, then I’ll text until the next communication craze.

Some parents and grandparents throw up their hands in frustration over these communication trends and refuse to adapt. Then, they’ll complain about never hearing from their kids or grankids. We’re the losers if we stay stuck in techie avoidance, because technology is going to keep moving on whether we do or not.

Everyone’s Looking Down, Be Sure You’re Looking Up

If you observe most people today—families in homes, shoppers in the mall, diners at a restaurant or a coffeehouse—they’re looking down at their most prized possession, a cell phone. Yes, they also use tablets and Ipads, but a phone fits in a pocket or purse, and many simply hold it in their hand. Today’s generation seems desperate to stay in touch and be available, even if words are brief and few.

We can encourage our family and friends to have the Bible “AP” on their phone, and look down at that occasionally. YouVersion is a great resource and offers the Bible in all translations and yearlong reading plans. For years, I prayed that my daughter would want to read the Bible, and then her church challenged her to read the Bible via YouVersion on her smart phone. That worked for her because she checked her phone every morning, and she read the entire Bible in a year and 3 weeks. Now she gets YouVersion morning devotionals on her phone.

Remember what Satan tries to use for bad, God can always use for good.

Putting It All In Perspective

This is a great comparison of the Bible vs. the cell phone:

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone? What if . . .

We carried it around in our purses or pockets?

We flipped through it several times a day?

We turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

We used it to receive messages from the text?

We treated it like we couldn’t live without it?

We gave it to kids as gifts?

We used it when we traveled?

We used it in case of emergency?

Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!

 

BTW, I still use email, allot, so email me or visit me on Facebook or leave a comment. I love to hear from you.

Be right back       THX

September 30, 2013
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Special Blessings of Grandparenting a Special Needs Child by Kate Thomas

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Our guest today is Kate Thomas, author of Grandparenting a Child with Autism, who shares the blessings of being a grandparent and the special blessings of Grandparenting a special needs Grandchild.

Grandparenting

“Being a grandparent is the only experience in life that can’t be overrated.”

These were the words from a friend who is a grandparent like me. Maybe I wouldn’t go quite that far, but grand-parenting has been, and is, one of the greatest joys of my life.

God has blessed my husband and me with four wonderful grandchildren: two boys and two girls. I pray for each of them every day…throughout the day. Today was the first day of school for Luke, John Paul and Mary Esther. Last night, John Paul asked his dad to have a prayer with him for the new school year ahead. His daddy would have done this anyway before bedtime, but John Paul needed some extra prayer time.

All of us have special needs of one kind or another. But our Katie, the oldest grandchild, has a greater need than my other grandchildren. At the age of four, Katie was diagnosed with autism. It would be difficult to describe the blow this was to our family. She was such a bright and beautiful little girl, but the characteristics of autism were evident.

 One of the many special memories I recall of Katie’s childhood was at a worship service at our church. We were singing “O How I Love Jesus.” Katie sang along for a few seconds, and then, with four small fingers on my cheek, she began to turn my face toward her. I whispered more than once “Katie, you know this song. Sing with me.” The fourth time she turned my face toward her, I bent over to hear what was on her heart. She said, “I love Jesus, too!” It would be difficult to over rate that experience!

I often think what if I had never listened to her heart and heard those beautiful words. National Grandparents Day is coming September 8th. Let’s listen to our grandchildren’s hearts as well as their voices.  

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Grandparents day

 September 8, 2013 is National Grandparents Day. To read more about how grandparents can celebrate and pray for our grand children read the Monday Morning Blog Post: Celebrating National Grandparents Day.

About the Author

Grandparenting a Child with Autism

Kate Radford Thomas’ books include New Every Morning A Daily Touch of God’s Faithfulness, Grand-parenting A Child with Autism A Search for Help and Hope, and Mother Duck Knows the Way. Kate is the mother of two and the proud grandmother of four. Her oldest grandchild, Katie, has autism, and Kate has spent much time trying to help Katie reach her full potential. Kate is the founder of the Kentucky Christian Writers Conference, where she has served for 18 years. She also helped found a camp for children with autism. Along with writing, Kate continues to speak throughout Kentucky. Most of all, she loves her family, friends, and wonderful Lord!

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September 2, 2013
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Mentoring Tips on Raising Godly Children By Crystal Bowman

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In my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I point out that every parent of a prodigal wishes we had done things differently and started praying for our children when they were young, before they became prodigals. In the following guest post, Crystal Bowman author of My Mama and Me—Rhyming Devotions for You and Your Child, shares mentoring tips on raising godly children.

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No Greater Joy

One of my mom’s favorite Bible verses is 3 John 1:4 — I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.

Now that I am a mother and grandmother, that has become one of my favorite verses as well. My husband and I have raised three amazing children who are all walking with the Lord. As I mentor many young mothers through MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers), they want to know how we did it!

I believe you can be a wonderful, godly parent and still have children who walk away from the faith when they grow up. Many times it is only for a season, but for some, it is longer.

A Solid Foundation

The best thing we can do as parents is give our children a solid biblical foundation by teaching them about God from the time they are babies to the time they leave home. Since most of my books are for preschool children, I pray that the books I write will be a helpful resource for parents as they read and talk about spiritual things with their little ones. Reading with your children is one of the precious gifts of motherhood, and sharing your faith is the most important gift you can give your child.

Kid-friendly Devotions

Making time for bedtime Bible stories or mealtime devotions is a great way to teach children about God and encourage meaningful discussion. My newest book, My Mama and Me—Rhyming Devotions for You and Your Child features twenty-five devotions, each including a rhyming message that teaches children about God, a Scripture verse, a prayer, and an activity that reinforces the theme. The devotions are spiritually solid, yet fun and enjoyable for young children.

The Importance of Prayer

Many of the moms whom I mentor were not raised in Christian homes. They know it is important to pray for their children, but at times they feel inadequate. I remind them that God knows their hearts and they just need to talk to God like they talk to a friend. With that in mind, I wrote a prayer at the end of the book for mothers to pray over their children.

Just Released

My Mama and Me has just been released by Tyndale House Publishers. If you get a copy of the book, you will notice the book was written by two authors—Crystal Bowman and Teri McKinley. I am Crystal Bowman and Teri McKinley is my daughter. I have no greater joy!

Bio: Crystal Bowman is the author of over 80 books for children including The One Year Book of Devotions for Preschoolers, and My Grandma and Me—Rhyming Devotions for You and Your Grandchild. She is also a national speaker, a lyricist, and a regular contributor to Clubhouse Jr. Magazine.

www.crystalbowman.com

www.facebook.com/crystaljbowman

 Crystal Bowman and Teri McKinley

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August 26, 2013
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Mentor From Your Mess

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Kathy McDaniel and me

Kathy and Janet in Colorado

I saw the following post on the Facebook page of a dear long-time friend of the family. Kathy is a mom weathering through a difficult and long divorce. I asked to share her sage words of wisdom with my readers because she describes lived-out mentoring.

Kathy said absolutely and prays that her sharing will help many others!

God doesn’t allow us to go through difficult circumstances just to build our own character. As we experience His faithfulness in all situations, He wants us to share where our strength comes from with someone on a similar journey.

My passion is to help other women understand that mentoring is simply—Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness—my tagline for living the Christian life. Kathy gets that. I hope you do too!

Kathy’s Facebook Post with editorial review:

Reach Out and Touch Someone

I continue to hear more and more stories of women in the midst of divorce or separation, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, and the victims of financial “money moving.” If you know someone going through this, please reach out to her. Let her know you care and that you’re there for her.

Pray consistently for her and her children! I can’t tell you how isolating it can be when your world is crashing down: you’re bruised and battle scarred, scared, and trying to be strong for your kids. It’s so easy to isolate because you have nothing left to give; but that’s when you need others to hold you up, pray for you, and bring you a Costco pizza so you remember to eat and feed your kids.

Don’t Let Anyone Walk Through Difficulty Alone

I never would have made it through without my family, friends, and church family, huddling around me and lifting me up in prayer. They wouldn’t let me isolate—even when I tried—and I am so blessed because of it. The numbers of women walking through this battle is staggering, and we need to make sure they don’t walk alone! And if you know a dad in this situation, reach out to him. The numbers aren’t as great, but the pain is just as deadly!

Honor Faithful Love

My heart aches when I see so many families torn apart by infidelity, abuse, porn, and arrogance. To those with a faithful spouse who keeps walking with you in the middle of life’s chaos, hold him/her close. Treasure them, pray for them!

Adopt a broken family into your hearts. Let their kids see a healthy marriage—they need to know it’s possible.

The First Step in Healing is Helping

For those who have walked the broken road and survived, share your story, wisdom, failures, hugs . . . as God leads you. Offer hope to those who can’t see past today! God allows us to go through trials because He has a greater purpose than we can see. One of those purposes is to comfort those who are on a similar journey. You understand what they are dealing with, when no one else can. You know how to pray for them. You know how to help them avoid things that you didn’t avoid. Guide them through the deep waters so that one day they can guide someone else.

Most importantly, point them to the ultimate Guide: Jesus Christ!

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Kathy is living out my paraphrase of Titus 2:3-5: Teach another woman what you’ve been taught so she can someday teach what you taught her . . .

Read more of Janet’s thoughts on mentoring.

August 19, 2013
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Growing a Life While Growing a Family

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I’ve invited fellow The M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Mom, Julie Sanders, back to share more about her new e-book Expectant. Her writing has been published in Declare His Name, in magazines such as The Message, P31 Woman, and in adult and children’s Bible curriculum. Julie is committed to teaching God’s word in a personal and relevant way that gives women confidence to walk out faith in life.

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As the weeks progressed, my skin stretched to capacity and I grew bigger. My heart was full with expectation about our child and motherhood. When the time came for the class session about C-sections and surgery, our instructor prepared to show a video to the parents-to-be. Never one to enjoy the inside story of the human body, I told my husband it was time for me to excuse myself from the final class. I ran out. Taken by surprise, he ultimately joined me in the hall, and we went home. After all, I insisted, a C-section wasn’t something we needed to know about.

One emergency C-section later, I wondered if that final class might have prepared me for a finale and a beginning I did not expect. As gradually as my stretch marks had appeared, my expectations expanded with each new outcome, challenge, and dilemma of being a mother. “How could anyone prepare for this?” I wondered from my hospital bed. Would the Birthing Class video have shown me what it looks like to meet your baby through the window of an incubator?  First time mothers, and even experienced mothers, often find their journey into parenting thrusts them into a world they didn’t anticipate and  aren’t ready for.

It doesn’t take long for a mom to realize motherhood is as much about growing her own life as it is about growing her family. While a woman may want to make plans, anticipate changes, and avoid the unpredictable, each day will be sprinkled with the unexpected like toys on a living room floor. Her body, her adult relationships, her new child, and her normal life will take on a new life.

Magazine images of well-groomed women with cherub-like babes fool us into expecting a baby-book ready experience we can post on Facebook. Each woman’s story is unique, but every woman’s heart is expectant.

What can a woman know for sure as she steps gingerly through the passageway of motherhood through pregnancy, foster care, adoption, or another open door?  She can know that while her own expectations are stretched, God is fully aware of every contraction, emergency, failed adoption, heart ache, longing, weakness, joy, victory:  all of it.  He knows.  Every mother and child can say to the heavenly Father, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:16) He knows, He is involved, and He works for our good.

Every mother’s expectant heart stretches with all she hopes and dreams for her child and herself.  She will not be alone. The One who saw her child before she did and wrote the days of their life in His own story book, will be with her as she discovers that mothering was everything and more than she expected.

About Julie Sanders

Julie’s first baby has grown up and gone off to college and the second is close behind. Having a baby looked different than she expected, but the motherhood journey has exceeded all she imagined. The hard won truths she discovered in becoming a mom have stayed with her while living and serving around the world, finding that moms everywhere share the same expectations in growing a family. As a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader, Julie enjoys walking the path of motherhood with moms in all seasons. When her small group of six young wives began adding children to their homes, she was inspired to write a collection of devotions that would speak to their expectant hearts.

Connect with Julie at Come Have a Peace if you would like to have Julie partner with you in your next retreat, MOPS meeting, special event, or leadership training event. Julie also writes for The MOM Initiative, Do Not Depart, and Exemplify Online.

Stop by EXPECTANT to purchase EXPECTANT for $4.99 on Kindle, iPad, or for use with the Kindle App.

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June 3, 2013
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Interview with Julie Sanders, Author of “Expectant”

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Today’s blog post is an interview with Julie Sanders, my fellow Mentor Mom for The M.O.M. Initiative,  about her new E-book release,  EXPECTANT:  40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms

Tell us what we can expect from EXPECTANT.

EXPECTANT is a collection of 40 devotions for new and expectant moms that uses transparent stories and biblical truth to offer hope and wisdom to women transitioning into motherhood. If you have dreams and hopes of what mothering will be, your heart is already Expectant.

Women enter motherhood in a variety of ways, so EXPECTANT shares encouragement for every mom as she grows into being a mother. That may mean she grows a pregnant belly or a home study for adoption, but she will grow. By talking about real issues like changes in your body, your marriage, your work, and your schedule, EXPECTANT helps new moms think through necessary transitions to find hope and confidence right there on the changing table or playground.

Like spending time with a loving, honest mentor over coffee, EXPECTANT uplifts women. The devotions are organized into sections about you, other grown-ups, the baby, and your new normal. Each one includes words from Scripture to grow your heart, as well as questions to get the conversation started with a friend, mentor, or dad-to-be. It’s formatted so that it would be easy to do with a partner or small group of moms.

Each journey into motherhood is unique, but every mother’s heart is expectant.

How is motherhood different than you expected?

I knew I would love our children, but I never imagined how much I would enjoy our children. Every season has been amazing, but moving through the changes of childhood, along with the accidents and surprises, has kept me prayerful. Being a mom is great for your prayer life!

Being a mom has stretched me more personally than I ever expected. God uses motherhood to expose my weaknesses, my failures, and my sin. While I’ve been watching our kids grow, God has been growing my heart and life.

What are some of your favorite motherhood books?

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp is foundational. Sharon Jaynes’ book Being a Great Mom, Raising Great Kids really challenged me when I was deep in the elementary years. I was so inspired to make the most of time with our kids. Vicki Courtney’s 5 Conversations books for boys and for girls gave me direction as JoHanna and Jacob were growing, especially since I never had a brother. I needed the wisdom from those authors!

One thing I’ve learned as a mom is that I should never stop learning, so I’m always excited to find a new book or resource to make me a better mom. If I ever think I’ve got all the bases covered, something changes and I’m sent to my knees, searching for wisdom!

Your website is called Come have a Peace. How do you find peace as a mother?

I’m convinced God means for us to live out our days experiencing His peace in the practical, real life, relational stuff of our days. For a mom, it seems impossible sometimes, but we aren’t meant to stay in heavy, discouraged places on our mothering journey. We’re meant to find peace, and Jesus said we find it in Him, (John 16:33). Mamas need that message all day, every day, and often through the night.

God has used major transitions, distance from family, and multiple crises in our lives to show me my “peaceful mom’s heart” does not depend on my circumstances. I’ve become a “pray all day” kinda mom who cries out often and openly to the only perfect Parent we know, God Himself. I’ve learned to give myself a lot of grace and let myself off the hook of expecting perfection, refusing to compare myself to moms around me. (Remind me of that, will you?) And I give our kids a lot of grace, trying to keep the “big picture” in mind as God unfolds His plans for them. He’s doing a great job with them!

The greatest complement I receive is when our kids have friends over and they say, “Your house is so … peaceful.”  Love that!

What was most difficult for you during the “young years?”  How did you grow as a mother?

When I delivered our first baby, it was quite a finale to our pregnancy! Nothing happened the way we anticipated. I was left with fear and disappointment, and it took a long time for me to feel whole again. Feeling fragile was not only hard, it wasn’t what I expected.

I always wanted to have children, but I also loved being a teacher. Making a transition to spending the day with the baby at home was not as easy as I thought it would be, and before long I found myself overcommitted and worn out. I was challenged to take a close look at where I found my identity and where I placed my trust. Motherhood turned out to be as much about growing me as growing our children.

It seems like women in their early twenties are discouraged to become a mother so young. What type of encouragement do you have for young couples ready to become parents?

No one is every fully prepared to be a mom, but giving yourself a chance to grow and mature in wisdom helps you be the best mom you can be and want to be. God is able to do extraordinary things with moms who start as ordinary women. If you wait until you’re perfect and have a well-padded portfolio and house with a fence, you might wait a long time.

A wise mentor once encouraged me not to rush through the sweet years of just being a couple. Strengthen your oneness during your pre-child season, and you’ll be better parents when the time comes. As you enter parenthood, you’ll find that it’s a lot about growing yourselves while growing your family.

I’m thankful my mentor slowed us down; God’s timing is unique for everyone. Seek Him together. The most important part of the decision about when to start a family is unity between the mom and dad-to-be. It’s never worth it for one anxious spouse to push the other forward. Your hearts must be longing and expectant together.

Will you be overwhelmed if you start young? Every mom is overwhelmed at times, regardless of age, but God will be there to Father you lovingly into an experience more amazing than you ever imagined. He has a tender place in His heart for moms, and He knows all you hope and all you anticipate, (Isaiah 40:11). He is the one who has grown your mama’s heart to be so EXPECTANT.

Stop by the EXPECTANT page to find out more and to purchase your copy for $4.99 on Kindle or for use on the Kindle App.

JulieBtn(1)

May 13, 2013
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Mother’s Day: Happy or Hurting

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“I hate Mother’s Day!” said my dear friend who is longing for a baby. “You know that women struggling with infertility don’t go to church on Mother’s Day.” Kris agrees, “I was that mom-in-waiting for 16 years; I stayed away from baby showers, church, and friends who would get pregnant. I didn’t stop praying, but it WAS the worse pain.” Lisa concurs, “I am guilty of having skipped church a few years before we adopted my son.”

In my book, Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey, my own daughter wrote about her painful Mother’s Day experience:

Dear God,

It’s almost Mother’s Day and I don’t know if I can handle seeing all those happy moms at church and brunch. I’m trying to focus on my mom and not think about how I’m missing out on being a mommy on yet another Mother’s Day. This year is especially hard since we’ve been trying to be parents for so long and so hard, only to be repeatedly disappointed. At the store looking for a card for my mom, I see the cute cards at the end of the aisle “To Mommy”…oh God, I wish I were someone’s mommy! I look away and continue focusing at the task ahead, getting my mom and mothers-in-law their cards.

Today’s the day, it’s Mother’s Day. I don’t think I can bear it. It’s just begun and already I want this day over. I pull myself out of bed and get ready for church. I’m not looking forward to the sermon about children being a blessing and honoring mothers. God, help me focus on my mom.

We met my parents at church and I put on my happy face, when inside I was crying watching all the mothers with big smiles dressed in pretty spring dresses and children running all around. This was a day of celebration and I just wanted to go back to bed. The pastor started the message with asking all the mothers to stand up. Hundreds of women stood and everyone applauded. I couldn’t take it any longer and sat slouched over in my seat quietly crying. Toby put his arm around me and my mom held my hand, but nothing took away the pain. I barely heard the rest of the message.

After brunch, I came home, collapsed on my bed, and cried myself to sleep where I remained the rest of the day. God, please don’t make me go through another Mother’s Day with this hole in my heart. I want to stand up in church with all those other mothers beaming from ear to ear and have everyone applaud me. God, please let me stand up next year.

Mother’s Day is especially hard for mommies-in-waiting, but for most of these women, every day is hard. With 1 in 6 couples experiencing infertility, you are, or know, a woman experiencing this heartache. Often we don’t know what to say to them, so we say nothing, or maybe unintentionally say something that makes them feel worse. Kris, who I mentioned in the opening paragraph, says, “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.”

In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?, I offer tools to help you know the “Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do And To Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility.” This list is also on the Infertility Support page on my website.

When I was writing the book, women often told me that the place they felt the loneliest was the church. That breaks my heart.  Jesus said he came for the sick, and that includes heartsick. The church should be a safe place for the hurting, not a place where they feel shunned or outcast.  How does your church comfort mommies-in-waiting on Mother’s Day and every day?

Mothers of Prodigals

Another group of women who will be hurting on Mother’s Day are the mothers of prodigals. They may not even know where there child is, or know all too well where they are and what they are doing that breaks a mother’s heart and the heart of God. These moms also need comforting, a hug, a reminder that this day is for them too and they are not forgotten or ignored.

I was that hurting mom and in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, I tell the story of praying daily that my daughter would find her way back to God, and six years later, she did. This Mother’s Day weekend she and I will be sharing our story at a Mother/Daughter tea. I’ve had a vision of us doing this for many years and prayed expectantly that God would bring my dream to life, and He has.

And Kim who was that heartsick mommy-in-waiting on Mother’s Day is now blessed with a family, but when we speak to the women God brings to this Mother’s Day Tea, neither of us will ever forget what it felt like to be hurting on Mother’s Day. We will speak with caring and compassion a comforting message of hope in God’s plan and timing. We won’t ignore these women, we will love on them!

I hope that you will do the same for the mommies-in-waiting, the moms of prodigals, or the moms who have lost a daughter or a son who may need a shoulder to cry on . . . a prayer . . . an understanding hug. If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. If you haven’t been in their shoes, just let them know you can’t possibly understand, but you’re there for them and God is too!

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

NOTE: Besides not knowing what to say, many of us don’t know what to give a mommy-in-waiting or a mom of a prodigal, and so we usually give them nothing. The books I have written for these women are full of hope and encouragement from the voices of other women who have walked the same journey, as well as from God’s Love Letter.  So for the month of May I’m running a sale on my website for Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? and Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Another helpful book might be Face-to-Face with Sarah, Rachel, and Hannah: Pleading with God. I will sign and personalize each book.

May 6, 2013
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40 Years of Love!

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“I’m sorry, but you’ll never have children.” Those were the doctor’s words to me at a post-op visit after surgery for a ruptured ovarian cyst. “Your ovaries look like those of a 90 year-old woman.” I was a twenty year-old, newly engaged college student. My life was over. Or so I thought.

After three years of marriage, I was thrilled to hear another doctor congratulate me: “You’re pregnant!” My mother called it a miracle, but I just wanted to be like any normal woman who could get pregnant and have a baby.

The last week of pregnancy, when my baby was a week overdue, everyone kept calling to see if I was “still home.” I enjoyed every moment of those 9 months and one week, and even steeled myself through a natural, long delivery, but nothing could prepare me for what it would feel like to hold my baby girl—instant, unconditional love.

I was a mom at last! But I had no concept of the life-changing responsibility I was undertaking or the importance of my being an exemplary role model for her. After all, she was just an infant and I would have so many years to work out all the details of mothering.

Where did those years go? This week, February 26, my baby girl, Kimberly Michele, turns 40 and she is a mother herself of three precious children. I remember the day I turned 40 and it doesn’t seem that long ago.

Kim and I didn’t have the life journey I anticipated upon first looking into her dark brown eyes. When she was only 2 years-old, her dad and I divorced, and I would spend the next seventeen years as a single mom juggling motherhood and a career. To the outside world, I did a great job as I moved up the career ladder of success; but as I moved further into the world and father away from the Jesus I asked into my heart at eleven, I role modeled the world’s ways to Kim.

Kim loved our life and all that I was able to provide her, even though she often cried that she missed me, as I headed off on another business trip. But we had time, right? She was still young and eighteen years is a long time…. I’ll make up to her the time we’ve been apart.

But in a blink of an eye, she was sixteen and dating. Then within moments, she was nineteen and declaring she was going off to college to live with her boyfriend, and she didn’t care what I had to say about it. I had recently rededicated my life to the Lord and was now trying to tell her this lifestyle was wrong, but she wasn’t buying it.

I mistakenly thought that when I changed my life and returned to God, she would follow right behind me. Wrong! That’s when the Lord assured me that, yes, I had let the first nineteen years of her life slip by without including Him in the parenting, but it wasn’t over yet. And so I began praying—daily, biblically, expectantly, persistently, sacrificially, unceasingly, and thankfully—as I describe in the first seven chapters of my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter.

I’d like to say that she instantly changed her ways, but it would be another six years of daily praying before she returned to me and to the Lord.

The Lord graciously restored the years the locust had eaten. I had the opportunity to do what I should have done from the day she was born: mentor her in how to be a godly woman. Today, I am so proud of the woman she has become. We’re now speaking together as “Two About His Work,” and she’s giving her testimony in a few weeks at her MOPS group.

Even through the difficult years, my love for Kim never faltered. She knew I didn’t condone her behavior, but neither did I condemn her. Our relationship has endured and grown stronger in spite of divorce, single parenthood, a traveling mom, both our prodigal years, my remarriage and blending a new family, my breast cancer, her infertility, and all the trials and joys of life.

I thought I would feel terribly old the day she turned 40; but instead, I feel blessed with the 40 years God has given me to love my precious daughter, and I’m grateful that the work He has done in my life will carry on through the work He is doing in her life. She’s my legacy, and I have given her the most valuable of inheritances: belief in Jesus Christ. 40 years is nothing in light of spending eternity together.

Mentoring Words to Moms:

  • Are you the woman today you want your daughter to become?  You’re the closest role model and mentor your daughter has.
  • It’s never too early to pray daily for your children. Pray for them before you have a problem.
  • Praying personalized Scripture—God’s Word back to Him—keeps you praying God’s will and not your own.
  • Enjoy every day of your children’s lives—they never get younger and neither to do you. Make each day count.

Janet-and-Kim

My daughter Kim and I speak together as Two About His Work.

February 25, 2013
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