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What Does It Mean to “Love Your Neighbor” During an Election or Anytime

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“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40

While walking and praying this past week, the Lord put Matthew 22:36-40 on my heart and impressed on me to write a blog post tying it into the November 8, 2016 election. I wrestled with the thought and wondered if He really meant I should write it after the election, when some might be reading this post happy and others upset about the results. I’ve been vocal on social media, trying to encourage Christians to take a stand for the conservative Republican platform in the election and imploring everyone to look at platforms not personalities of the two candidates. One person said she tried not to take a particular side, but to follow “Love your neighbor.” There it was again. I’ve learned that when God really wants me to do something, He doesn’t let up until I get it.

I thought about how often this verse is taken out of context instead of the complete, “Love your neighbor, as yourself.” It’s sometimes used in chastisement or even as a rationalization for accepting sin.

What Does the Greatest Commandment Say About “Love”?

Matthew 22:36-40 says the first thing we’re to do is love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and soul—love His Word and His ways more than anything else in the world! Everything in us strives to please God first: honor the way He wants us living with a pure heart and mind as the Holy Spirit indwells our soul. God’s standards . . . His Word and His Ways . . . govern every decision and choice we make, every thought we allow in our mind . . . yes, every vote.

Then the second commandment is like it . . . we do the same thing with our neighbor . . . but we don’t just love our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves . . . the same self that loves God with all our mind, heart, and soul. We don’t love our neighbor by the world’s words and ways, but by God’s Word, His Ways, and the Holy Spirit.

Thus the cultural rub. When Christians apply the world’s definition of “love your neighbor” . . . tolerate your neighbor’s sin, just love on them or you’re judging them . . . we aren’t loving our neighbor as ourselves or according to God’s Word, His Ways, and the Holy Spirit. Consequently, many Christians “love their neighbors” straight into hell, without ever telling them about heaven. Not loving or caring about them enough to go to the hard places of talking about good and evil, sin, repentance, forgiveness, and eternal life with Jesus.

The most loving thing any Christian can do is tell someone about Jesus and share the Gospel.

Love them enough to tell about eternity in heaven and the reality of hell.

Meet them where they’re at, but don’t leave them there.

[Tweet “Aren’t you glad someone stepped out of his or her comfort zone to tell you about Jesus and help you make changes in your life “]

Aren’t you glad someone stepped out of his or her comfort zone to tell you about Jesus and help you make changes in your life and ask Jesus for forgiveness? I am. Otherwise, none of us would be Christians today. I would still be wallowing in my backslidden life if Greg Laurie had not loved a whole group of “neighbors” and asked us “Are you ready to die tonight?”

Christians shouldn’t just love ourselves to heaven, we should love our neighbors to heaven too!

How Did Jesus Love His Neighbor?

For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

6 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. 7 Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9 And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. 10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. Romans 5:5-11 NLT

[Tweet “It’s not easy confronting someone with their sin, but when we don’t, we’re condoning it”]

It’s not easy confronting someone with their sin, but when we don’t, we’re condoning it. We do need to establish a relationship first, then share the Gospel and help them confront their sin, ask for forgiveness, and change their ways. Three biblical examples of Jesus loving his neighbor and introducing them to Himself come to mind.

  • When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well, He asked her for a drink (relationship); He told her about living water and eternal life (shared the Gospel); asked about her husband and she admitted she had no husband (confession). He told her he knew she had had five husbands and the man she was living with was not her husband (confronted her sin). He didn’t send her back home to live with her boyfriend, He told her the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). She became the first woman evangelist, “Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I ever did.’” (John 1:4-42)
  • To the woman caught in adultery who he rescued from being stoned to death, He didn’t say: Well they’re all sinners too, we all sin, so no big deal. I don’t condemn you so just be more careful next time. He told her “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:2-15)
  • Zacchaeus was a fraudulent tax collector. When Jesus saw him he said, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” (Relationship) People were upset at Jesus for going to a “sinner’s” house, but Zacchaeus realized his sin (confronted with sin, he repented) and “Jesus said to him, Today salvation has come to this house.’” (Luke 19:1-10). Salvation not just to Zacchaeus, but to everyone in the house . . . you know Jesus shared the Gospel while he ate with them.

I wrote a blog post that might help with Balancing Grace and Truth.

What Does Love Your Neighbor Have to Do with the Election?

two-platforms

[Tweet “the top five issues of two completely different political platforms that clearly delineate God’s way versus the world’s way”]

So how does this all tie into the election? Let’s look at the top five moral issues of two completely different political platforms that clearly delineate God’s way versus the world’s way—two different Americas. Ask yourself is this what it means to “love my neighbor like myself?” Is this what I want for myself . . . my family . . .  my neighbor? Is this what God wants for His people, for America?

[Tweet “A Christian can’t straddle the line between the two platforms.”]

A Christian can’t straddle the line between the two platforms. You must take a stand for right versus wrong, good versus evil. Some “neighbors” will listen and some like the “progressive liberal atheist” lesbian couple supporting Clinton who told me they want to spend eternity in hell together, or the atheist supporting Clinton who would not answer my question asking if she knows where she will spend eternity—will not listen.

If you love your neighbor enough to hope that someday he or she will know Jesus and be in eternity with you, then you must choose the platform that will allow you to freely share the love of Jesus with your neighbor. As I look at these platforms, it’s clear to me there’s only one choice. If you’re reading this after election day, admittedly it’s going to be harder, but we still must honor Matthew 22:36-40.

  1. Sanctity of human life

Democratic

Democrats seek to repeal the 1976 Hyde Amendment so that federal funds can be used to pay for abortions. The platform says, “We will continue to stand up to Republican efforts to defund Planned Parenthood health centers.” Democrats support ratification of UN efforts that affirm “the reproductive rights of women” globally.

Republican
The GOP asserts the sanctity of human life and affirms, “The unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed.” The party supports a Human Life Amendment making clear that the 14th Amendment’s protections apply to children before birth, and it salutes states that require informed consent, parental consent, waiting periods and clinic regulation.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should give them the right to murder their unborn baby He created?

  1. Marriage

Democratic
Democrats applaud last year’s Supreme Court ruling that “LGBT people—like other Americans—have the right to marry the person they love.”

Republican
The GOP platform condemns the Supreme Court’s rulings that removed the ability of Congress and the people to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman. The GOP urges the reversal of those decisions, whether through judicial reconsideration or a constitutional amendment.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should redefine marriage to include same-sex marriage?

  1. Religious freedom—Acknowledging God

Democratic
The Democratic platform says: “We support a progressive vision of religious freedom that respects pluralism and rejects the misuse of religion to discriminate.” The party opposes a religious test to bar immigrants or refugees from entering the country.

Republican
Republicans affirm that religious freedom in the Bill of Rights protects the right of the people to practice their faith in their everyday lives. The platform endorses the First Amendment Defense Act, which would protect faith-based institutions and individuals from government discrimination.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should condone and legalize sin forcing pastors to perform gay marriages or be punished as we’ve seen with bakers, florists, photographers; students shouldn’t be allowed to use God’s name or Scripture in commencement speeches; Christian businesses like Hobby Lobby should be forced to pay for abortions?

  1. Federal Judges

Democratic
The platform says: “We will appoint judges who defend the constitutional principles of liberty and equality for all, and will protect a woman’s right to safe and legal abortion.”

Republican
The GOP platform states: “A critical threat to our country’s constitutional order is an activist judiciary that usurps powers properly reserved to the people through other branches of government.” The GOP supports the appointment of justices and judges who respect the constitutional limits on their power and respect the authority of the states.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should allow unrighteous judges to make laws beyond their constitutional limits that enforce and legalize sin?

  1. Israel and Jerusalem

Democratic
The platform states: “We will always support Israel’s right to defend itself, including by retaining its qualitative military edge, and oppose any effort to delegitimize Israel. … While Jerusalem is a matter for final status negotiations, it should remain the capital of Israel, an undivided city accessible to people of all faiths.”

Republican
Republicans express “unequivocal support for Israel,” pointing out that it is the only Middle Eastern country with freedom of speech and freedom of religion. The GOP recognizes “Jerusalem as the eternal and indivisible capital of the Jewish state.” The party opposes the U.N.’s treatment of Israel as a pariah state.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor would mean that America should aid the enemies of our ally and God’s chosen people of Israel?

These five platform issues came from Billy Gramham.org Democratic and Republican Party Platforms. More issues are described on their website.

I hope you take the time to read the platforms before you vote and don’t get caught up in the media rhetoric, because the answers to the above questions will be what we live with in the future, and depending on the results of the election, every believer must remember:

In God we trust, not in man or woman.

[Tweet “In God we trust, not in man or woman.”]

You can still make a difference. The article I wrote for Crosswalk.com might be helpful You Don’t Have to Make Movies or Get Elected to Change Culture.

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November 7, 2016
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Love Your Body—Be Brave!

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Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

I’m back! Did you miss me? For the first time since starting the Monday Morning Blog when I launched my website January 2013, I took a three-month sabbatical to finish writing my latest book, Mentoring for All Seasons: Women Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness. Those who have followed my blog, know that in the past I’ve blogged right through writing books or invited guest bloggers—which by the way still requires me to edit and post, so there’s work and time involved. But this new book had a very short writing window and I had lots of travel and some health issues requiring medication, so I decided to love my body and prioritize my energy and time limits. Not that I don’t love writing to all of you, and it was anticlimactic every Monday morning not reading your comments, but I knew you would understand.

I’m Writing a New Book and I Need Your Stories!

Mentoring for All Seasons is in the editing process now, and thanks to many of you, there are amazing stories from both mentors and mentees from every season of life from tweens to aging! I know this book will bless you and it will be available fall 2017. I’ll keep you posted as the publishing process progresses.

Looking at the calendar and seeing that this is the last Monday of the month—where did September go—I realized I would be starting up the blog again with Love Your Body Monday! I knew then the Lord wanted me to share with you a post I had planned on writing later . . . but during my walk this morning, God said now was the time for two reasons:

[Tweet “I’m Writing a New Book and I Need Your Stories”]

  1. My next book—yes, you read right—God has put another book on my heart based on brave women of the Bible encouraging women of today to be brave. I’m NOW receiving stories of times God has asked or challenged you to be brave spiritually, physically, emotionally, or in any way. I would love to share your story in my next book, so contact me for more information.
  2. Elizabeth Vargas recently shared her testimony on TV and has a new book on being an alcoholic—last night hubby and I watched the 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer and Elizabeth Vargas that we had DVR’d, since it aired originally while I was still finishing my book.

I’ve always admired Elizabeth’s news anchor reporting and how confident she seemed. She’s articulate, classy, attractive and was doing well in a male-dominated profession. Several years ago, I was sad to hear her announce that drinking, mainly wine then, had gotten out of control and was interfering with her family and work, and she had sought help. I was surprised, but applauded her acknowledging her addiction. I had no idea that her battle with all alcohol had continued until in her own words: “I was nearly fired from my job. My husband left me while I was in rehab, I hurt my kids tremendously, and I nearly lost my life.”

[Tweet “Alcohol destroys families, marriages, leads to death and tragedies, and is a disastrous role model for children and grandchildren”]

If you follow my blog or Facebook, you know my thoughts on drinking alcohol. It’s a recreational drug, and in my backsliding years I drank so I know exactly what alcohol does. It destroys families, marriages, leads to death, health issues, and tragedies, misbehavior, loss of inhibitions, and is a disastrous role model for children and grandchildren—and yet alcohol lines the shelves of family grocery stores and is in many home pantries or out in plain view on kitchen counters and wine racks.

[Tweet “most “moderate drinkers” are in denial”]

And just like Elizabeth Vargas, most “moderate drinkers” are in denial and justify their drinking as: being able to handle it, not hurting anyone, takes the edge off, relaxes me, only drink socially, like the taste, everyone drinks a little . . . even my friends from church . . . until as Elizabeth found, “I drank moderately for 20 years. It wasn’t until my 40s that I fell off a cliff.”

In an interview with Elizabeth, Dorri Olds wrote in 20/20 Anchor Elizabeth Vargas Talks to The Fix About Anxiety, Alcoholism, and Recovery: “When Diane Sawyer and Vargas did research for their recent 20/20 special, they learned that 63 percent of female alcoholics suffer anxiety. Being postpartum or perimenopausal puts you at even higher risk for self-medicating with alcohol. And women with anxiety issues are twice as likely to relapse.”

Is that you or someone you know? Postpartum? Perimenopausal, or menopausal? Anxious? Worried? Overwhelmed? Do you or they have a glass or two or three every night that started out after the kids were in bed, but now starts while fixing dinner or early afternoon . . . or after the kids leave for school? Are you or they hiding how much you/they drink? Do you/they drink and then drive . . . with children in the car? If yes to any of these or similar questions, you/they need help.

[Tweet “trigger points to drinking such as tired, angry, lonely, hungry “]

In the 20/20 interview, Diane Sawyer listed trigger points to drinking such as tired, angry, lonely, hungry . . . and Elizabeth says hers is anger. Diane asked what she does now, and Elizabeth said she picks up the phone and calls someone. A mentor would be so helpful. A brave step.

What Should a Christian Do?

Here’s where many of you will disagree with me, and that’s certainly your freedom . . . a word tossed around a lot lately . . . but it’s also my freedom to say my opinion. Elizabeth Vargas cannot be around alcohol anywhere; she lives one sober day at a time. How many women in your sphere of influence might be in that same situation and you don’t know it? I’m saddened when I hear of Church moms, women’s, Bible study, or small groups going out for “drinks” or having wine and alcohol when they get together in the name of the Lord. How many “Elizabeths” might be among you who are too embarrassed to get up and leave, and you’ve just contributed to their temptation and possible downfall . . . you’ve caused them to stumble. Or maybe you’re the “Elizabeth.”

tell-time-generic

Is this really how you want to teach your kids to tell time?

I’ve seen this “How To Tell Time” sign tossed around Facebook with many women, including Christians, “liking” and laughing about it. Mommies who are responsible to help their children tell time . . . putting this sign up in their homes for impressionable kids to infer that the way to tell time is . . . you sit with a coffee cup and Bible in your hand in the morning and a wine glass and wine bottle in your hand at night. What kind of message does this send to your children? Or if Elizabeth Vargas walked into your home after “coffee time,” she would have to politely leave:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone [including your children, grandchildren, seekers,new believers, addicts, unbelievers] to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:31-33

Being Brave Often Requires Vulnerability

Elizabeth has written a memoir to help others who might see themselves in her story and get help before they lose everything like she almost did; she did lose allot including her marriage and time she can never recover being the mom she wanted to be to her children. Vargas said she would die for her sons. “I love them more than anything in the world. I would do anything for my children. But I couldn’t stop drinking for them.”

elizabeth-vargas

I chose to talk to you, my followers, today about Elizabeth Vargas’ story because of her vulnerability, not only in her book, Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction, but also in the 20/20 interview on National TV, which was an extremely brave act of courage. The woman we see in the interviews about her addiction and her new book is not the woman we all saw anchoring the news for years . . . even as far back as 911 and before!

On Amazon, the description of the book uses the word brave: “From the moment she uttered the brave and honest words, ‘I am an alcoholic,’ to interviewer George Stephanopoulos, Elizabeth Vargas began writing her story, as her experiences were still raw.”

The night before the interview with Olds, Elizabeth said, “I asked my son last night, ‘Why do you think I’m writing this book?’ He said, ‘Because you’re brave and want to help people.’ I hope people will be kind.”

As the 20/20 interview closes, Elizabeth said she has a “favorite saying” . . .

When you pray to God, there are three answers:

  1. Yes
  2. Not Now
  3. I have something better for you.

In another interview when asked what helps her stay sober, she said mediation and prayer. To Diane Sawyer she said, “When I lay in bed at the end of a good day, I say, ‘Thank you God for this day.’”

To read a blog I wrote Love Your Body—Don’t Drink Alcohol

For the full 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer and Elizabeth Vargas

To share your Brave story with me for my next book.

If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

It’s good to be back!

September 26, 2016
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Guns N’ Bibles

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Woman with sword of the spiritMy husband and I give participants of our small groups, family, and friends a handout for Preparing for War from the armor of God in Ephesians 6:10-18. Periodically we’ll ask:

                  “So are you putting on the armor of God we told you about?”

Almost universally, the response is a shrugging of shoulders and “No, we’re not . . . .”

When we were first married, I studied spiritual warfare at Fuller Theological Seminary with Dr. Charles Kraft, and my husband went through a Neil Anderson course on spiritual warfare. God knew the spiritual battles we would incur in our years together, so He equipped us both with the understanding that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

God warns that the only way for Christians to fight this inevitable spiritual battle is to “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:10-11).

We are cautioned to “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8).

No Weapon Formed Against Us Can Prosper

Bible_Gun

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On  the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.                2 Corinthians 10:3-4

This blog post is not about owning guns, but it is about Christians choosing a gun over the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Eph. 6:17).

  • Believers who fear man more then they fear Satan.
  • Believers who put more faith in a gun’s protection then faith in God’s protection.
  • Believers who pack a gun, but don’t unpack their Bibles.

[Tweet “Jesus didn’t protect himself with a rock, a sword, or a knife. “]

Jesus didn’t protect himself with a rock, a sword, or a knife. He fought evil with God’s Word, the sword of the Spirit, the only weapon He ever used. But sadly, today many of Jesus’ disciples know more about guns then they know how to use the only offensive weapon in the armor of God, the sword of the Spirit. They’re going out every day into the world spiritually naked without the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the Sword of the Spirit securely prayed in place (from Ephesians 6:10-18).

[Tweet “Satan gloats if he can get Christians focused on trying to defend and protect themselves more with man’s weapons than fighting him with God’s weapon, Satan wins.”]

And Satan gloats. If he can get Christians focused on trying to defend and protect themselves more with man’s weapons than fighting him with God’s weapon, Satan wins.

Do You Have a War Room?

Many saw the movie War Room and I’m sure were impressed with the power of prayer portrayed in this movie. But how many went home and set up a War Room? When I told my 7 year-old granddaughter the name of the movie, she wasn’t sure she wanted to watch it because she thought it would be a war movie. After our family watched it together, I asked her: “Do you know what a war room is now?”

Sienna: “A room where you pray,” she said confidently.

[Tweet “The mighty power of Jesus we have within us is not just fictional in a movie”]

Friends, I hope you realize the mighty power of Jesus we have within us is not just fictional in a movie. Miss Clara in War Room understood how to use that power. She stood up to the assailant demanding her purse at knife point and told him in the “name of Jesus” to put down his knife. And he did. But some will say that’s just in the movies. . . . Maybe not.

[Tweet “Let me share with you a real-life “Miss Clara” story that happened last week “]

Let me share with you a real-life “Miss Clara” story that happened last week to one of my Facebook Friends, Terri Gillespie. I asked Terri if I could share her story with you and she said absolutely.

*****************

Jan 10, 2016 on Terri Gillespie’s Facebook Post

Yesterday, at 1:26 pm I was robbed at gunpoint.

As I type these words, it still feels surreal. And as I process the event, I realize how easy it would be to turn this into a political issue, or a statement on the darkness of this world, but it was so much more than that.

First, what happened: My friend, Cathy and I were traveling back from our writing retreat at the Jersey shore. We decided to stop in Vineland, NJ for some lunch and shopping. We had a lovely experience with the young woman who helped us—she was a Christian and Zionist—and walked back to my car with our purchases.

My vehicle was packed with our bags and other packages from a weeklong retreat. Our clothes hung from the backseat carrack.

I couldn’t find my cell. I opened the back door on the driver’s side, placed my purse on top of a suitcase, and leaned over to search for it.

I asked Cathy to call my cell to see if it was in my purse. I felt something tapping me on my back and thought it was the clothes hangers. Finally, the phone rang in my purse, just as I felt the tapping again. I straightened and turned and there was a young man with a gun. He made sure I saw he had a gun. I remembered thinking two things. One: “Oh man!” Two: “Do glocks come in silver?”

He motioned toward my purse and whispered something. I hesitated, then reached for my little wallet. I remembered a scene from the movie War Room and I turned toward him and said, “Jesus loves you. He wouldn’t want you to do this.”

Cathy asked me if I had found my phone yet. I assured her I had. Thankfully, because of the curtain of clothing hanging, she had no idea what was going on. She only heard bits and pieces of my side of the conversation.

I pulled all the cash from my wallet—$12.00—and handed it to him. I apologized it wasn’t more. He rolled his eyes and asked for my car keys. I whispered, “You’re taking my car? You’re leaving us stranded?”

He motioned the gun toward Cathy and said he would kill her.

I said, “No, please. She just got over cancer. She almost died.” But, I handed him the keys.

I either repeated what I said, or I said that Jesus loved him. Perhaps, both. I tried making eye contact with him throughout. His gaze was mostly everywhere but on me. At this point, he looked briefly at me, then looked down. Cathy told me later that I kept saying Jesus loves you.

The young man handed me back the keys. He paused as though not sure what to do next. I thanked him and patted him on the shoulder and repeated one last time, “Jesus loves you.”

He turned and walked away.

Shaking, I shut the door, opened the driver’s side door, and started the car.

Cathy asked me if I was okay. I think I said something like, just a minute. Frankly, I was afraid that the young man would change his mind and return, so I wanted to get out of there.

Finally, I was able to tell Cathy what had just happened.

Cathy prayed as I drove back onto Highway 55. We thanked the Lord for His protection. We prayed for that young man that God would touch his heart and change his life from that moment on. We prayed for miles and miles. We talked, then prayed some more.

I was so grateful—am so grateful. Grateful for God’s protection of my friend and me. Grateful for the young man’s mercy and that in the midst of evil plans, he made the right choice to stop. Grateful that my friend did not have to see all this happening. Grateful to be able to go home and hug and kiss my husband.

*****************

Terri goes on to explain that she did report the crime, then she adds: “This morning when I first awoke, I remembered to forgive the young man and prayed again for his salvation and that his life would change for God’s glory. I’m sure there is more for Cathy and me to process and I would appreciate your prayers for us and our families as we do this; but please, as you pray, please remember this young man. Pray for him.”

When I asked Terri if she thought they would have all walked away unharmed if she had a gun, her answer was telling:

“Do I think the outcome would have been different had I been armed? Yes. And that’s why I was glad I wasn’t. It really forced me to be totally dependent upon the Lord.

Several Facebook comments:

“You were saved by using the Word of the Lord – may we always remember that they are mightier than any sword (or gun).”

“He was truly “disarmed” in the Spirit.”

Here’s a picture of my War Room. Let’s flood social media with pictures of our War Rooms and Sword of the Spirit.

My War Room

                   My War Room

My Weapon, The Sword of the Spirit

My Weapon, The Sword of the Spirit

We Have the Same Power!

A couple booked a wedding on our farm. Dale and I prayed that the Glory of the Lord would encounter them. I walked into the bedroom where the bride and bridesmaids were getting dressed and asked if I could pray a blessing over the wedding and marriage. The bride looked at her bridesmaids inquisitively. She said, “Sure.” They gathered close. I put my hands on the bride. I asked JESUS to encounter their hearts… At the first WORD of JESUS-tears streamed down their faces like I’ve never seen. There’s POWER in the NAME of JESUS! I prayed in boldness that the couples offspring would boldly declare Christ as Lord and be warriors for HIM. When the prayer was finished, she held her womb, with tears rolling and hugged me. One day EVERY knee will bow and EVERY tongue confess that He is LORD!I Don’t EVER be afraid to be bold with His NAME!—Facebook Post from Sharon Glasglow shared with permission

We hear songs like “There is Power in the Name of Jesus”, but how often do we tap into that power within us? The words from Jeremy Camp’s song, “Same Power,” ring so true for all Christians:

SAME POWER

I can see

Waters raging at my feet

I can feel

The breath of those surrounding me

I can hear

The sound of nations rising up

We will not be overtaken

We will not be overcome

I can walk

Down this dark and painful road

I can face

Every fear of the unknown

I can hear

All God’s children singing out

We will not be overtaken

We will not be overcome

The same power that rose Jesus from the grave

The same power that commands the dead to wake

Lives in us, lives in us

The same power that moves mountains when He speaks

The same power that can calm a raging sea

Lives in us, lives in us

He lives in us, lives in us

We have hope

That His promises are true

In His strength

There is nothing we can’t do

Yes, we know

There are greater things in store

We will not be overtaken

We will not be overcome

Greater is He that is living in me

He’s conquered our enemy

No power of darkness

No weapon prevails

We stand here in victory

Jeremy Camp and Jason Ingram © 2015 Stolen Pride Music (ASCAP) (admin. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) / Sony ATV Timber Publishing / Open Hands Music (SESAC) (Admin. by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LL

[Tweet “We’ll probably never have a government that turns completely to God to guide our country, but that doesn’t mean that the body of Christ can’t join forces “]

Dear ones, I’m not so naive to think we will ever have a society without guns, but I am passionate about the number of empty War Rooms in the homes and hearts of fellow Christians. We may never have a government that turns completely to God to guide our country, but that doesn’t mean that the body of Christ can’t join forces in utilizing the greatest power that ever lived, and lives within each of us: the Name of Jesus Christ and the Word of God.

Breastplate of righteousnessI leave you with these important questions to ponder:

  • Do you believe you have the “same power” that rose Jesus from the grave?
  • Are you ready and equipped to use the power of Jesus within you?
  • If so, I beg you to daily clothe yourselves and your children in the Armor of God and set up your Prayer War Rooms! Arm yourselves with God’s Word, the Bible, and be ready to go into action.

Your life and the lives of those you love could depend on it.

Here are links to two versions of Praying the Armor of God that I have on my website Prodigal Support page:

Simplified version of Putting on the Armor of God Daily

Armor of God Personalized and Expanded

If you received this post by email, leave a comment here.

Also a reminder that my new book Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten releases February 9th. Amazon is taking pre-orders now. Order today to be sure they don’t run out on the 9th.

ForsakenGod.indd

January 18, 2016
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Is Your Soul At Rest?

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McCall Retreat

Our “Cabin” for Crouch Community Church Women’s Retreat

This past weekend our church had its annual women’s retreat in the beautiful setting of McCall, Idaho. We stayed in a retreat cabin on the lake and the weather was spectacular! We enjoyed early morning walks, kayaking, amazing meals out on the deck overlooking the lake, skits, karaoke, making new friends, and all the “slumber party” things we girls love to do.

But mostly we fellowshipped together, enjoyed worship time, the teaching of our speaker Phyllis Cook, and a Sunday morning devotional led by new friend, Athena Crowley. What a treat it was for me to just “be” and not have any specific role except to enjoy and refresh. I prayed that God would give me divine appointments and something to share with you today.

God is so faithful!

Divine Appointments

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Have you ever prayed for divine appointments? I think God loves it when we do because He can really show up big time and He gets all the glory. I’ve written before about praying for divine appointments and how God has answered them for me in amazing ways and He didn’t disappoint this weekend:

1. The retreat speaker, Phyllis Cook, and I had never met so when we started talking she asked my name. When I said “Janet Thompson,” her face lit up in recognition, “I have one of your books.” She went on to explain that while a friend of hers from Israel was visiting, she wanted to buy Phyllis a book for her ministry at Meridian First Baptist Church where Phyllis’ husband pastors. Phyllis and her friend went to the local Christian bookstore and the friend chose my book The Team That Jesus Built and bought it for Phyllis. Phyllis and I marveled that God brought us together and we took this picture for Phyllis to send to her friend in Israel.

Phyllis Cook and me

Retreat speaker Phyllis Cook and me looking straight into the bright beautiful morning sun!

2. I felt God impressing on me to speak to a woman at the retreat, but I couldn’t find the appropriate time. The last morning, I said, God if You want me to do this You’re going to have to intervene. He did!

3. Our last meal, I sat next to a woman I had not met. We started chatting and I learned that she and her husband had just moved to Garden Valley in the summer. She heard about the retreat when they visited our church and decided to come. I invited her to our couples Bible study group and she was excited for them to join us.

4. I loved the gluten-free, honey, organic, pumpkin muffins that were on the snack table. Someone said that “Athena” made them. I had not met Athena, but as we started talking, she said, “Oh, you’re the author I was told to meet. Could I talk to you over dinner and discuss the book I’m writing?” We enjoyed a dinner of great food and “author” conversation.

Athena Crowley and me

Athena Crowley and me

 

Finding Rest for Your Soul

When I called home Friday night, hubby prayed that I would have a time of rest and refueling as I prepare for a very busy fall of speaking and writing.

In God’s perfect providence, Phyllis Cook, our retreat speaker, chose Matthew 11:28-30 as her topic for the weekend:

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The first night she talked about verse 28 as God’s invitation to rest, refreshment, and peace. Ahhh just what my husband had been praying for me.

The next morning, she helped us focus on verse 29 to find inner peace from Jesus’ example of gentleness, humbleness, forgiveness, and a servant attitude.

Her last session explored the paradox of taking on a yoke to find rest! Phyllis pointed out that Jesus’ yoke of humility is far lighter than trying to bear the yoke of pride and all of its manifestations.

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Phyllis had us look at the yoke of pride. Are any of these weighing you down?

  • Complaining against God
  • Lack of gratitude
  • Anger, moodiness, impatience, rudeness
  • Perfectionism
  • Talking too much about yourself
  • Seeking independence or control—my way
  • Devastated by criticism
  • Defensiveness or blame-shifting
  • Not having close relationships
  • Competitiveness that always has to win or be first (I added to this to the her list)
  • Can you think of more?

Here’s how Phyllis explained Jesus’ yoke of humility. Do you see why it’s light?

  • Trusting God’s character
  • Not questioning God
  • Focus on Christ
  • Lots of prayer
  • Thankfulness
  • Willing to wait, long suffering
  • Good listener
  • Serving
  • Teachable spirit
  • Repentance, asking forgiveness
  • Close-relationships
  • Letting others win or go first (I added this to her list)
  • Can you think of more?

I was at peace all weekend and felt an incredible sense of rest in my soul and my spirit. Even when my mind wandered to all I had to do when I returned home . . . including writing this blog . . . I couldn’t conjure up a single moment of anxiety!

Arise and Go About His Work

My soul being at rest does not mean it’s time to stop speaking and writing. Contraire! It means I continue on About His Work with renewed energy and focus. Our Sunday morning devotional by Athena Crowley, the sweet woman I mentioned above who made the delicious pumpkin muffins, confirmed God’s call on my life . . . but this was not just a call to me. This was a call to every Christian!

Athena read Song of Solomon 2:10-13

My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.”

From this passage, Athena shared that we are to arise from our “winters” of:

  • Apathy
  • Depression
  • Our Own Interests

Because it’s springtime in our souls! God is calling His people into into a closer relationship with Him so that we can go out and share the light of His glory to others who need more of Him in their life . . . or don’t yet know Him.

[Tweet “It’s springtime in our souls! God is calling His people into into a closer relationship with Him!”]

The world is full of so many who are stumbling in darkness. God calls every Christian to be His flashlight to help the lost find their way into the light of His glory. If our light is going to shine brightly, we need to refresh, renew, and refuel!

Is your soul at rest?

Can you choose humility over pride?

Are you ready to arise and be God’s flashlight?

If yes, then start praying now for those divine appointments where God will use you in a lost and lonely world.

 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

September 15, 2014
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A Glimmer of Hope for Your Prodigal

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Watching child struggle through life

 

“Moms, you know how it feels when you see any glimmer of hope in your prodigal.” —A praying mom

Moms of prodigals will identify with that glimmer of hope. I know I did.

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Praying Mother Alice’s Story

I recently received an email from a mom who had shared her story in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help, & Encouragement for Hurting Parents. On page 178 in the chapter “Confronting Our Own Mistakes,” Alice said:

*My daughter, Liz, has chosen to cut off her relationship with me. I made many wrong choices that hurt her. I’m so sorry and have apologized many times, but Liz refused to forgive me. I’m saddened by the wall she’s built to protect herself from being hurt emotionally again.

My guilt over Liz plagued me; I felt captive by her refusal to forgive me. I’ve beaten myself up for not being the perfect mother and not saying or doing the right things. Truth is I make mistakes all the time. I hurt people—not intentionally—but it happens when I’m thinking of myself and not of how my words and actions affect others. With God’s help, I’m working on changing that part of my character. In the meantime, I continue praying that God will soften Liz’s heart so she’ll be able to forgive me and any other person who has hurt her.—Alice

Alice sent me her heartbreaking story of the estrangement from her daughter eight years ago. I know many who identify with her pain and regret and the deep desire to restore her relationship with her daughter and to receive her daughter’s forgiveness.

Last week, I received an email from Alice with the subject line: Update on Prodigal Daughter “Liz.” Following is Alice’s update shared with her permission. I hope Alice’s openness and vulnerability encourages those of you who are still praying for a reunion with your prodigal.

The separation started 27 years ago when my “prodigal daughter” had completed college. She didn’t need my financial support or close personal connection anymore.

The separation gap widened four years ago when Liz told me she needed a break!

The break I imagined was time for her to sort things out that were plaguing her: divorce negotiations that dragged on, the decline of her dietician business with fewer clients, stress of raising a son as a single mom, and then there was “me.” I was the mother she felt was not there for her as a teenager when she was having major issues with her stepfather. It turned out that Liz wanted a permanent “break” from me.

My heart ached to see her and talk to her. That wasn’t an option open to me. What I could do during these past four years was to pray and wait until my daughter was ready to connect again. I prayed for a softening of Liz’s heart. I also prayed God would help me understand why my middle daughter wanted no part of my life.

As I wrote in my journal recently, I asked the LORD to give me a better understanding of what I was dealing with. He answered me with a clear example of my daughter as a person encased in ice—unable to move, feel love, or reach out for help. Liz was stuck in a frozen place where anger, resentments, and bitterness imbedded her mind and heart. She could not free herself.

[Tweet “I asked the LORD to give me a better understanding of what I was dealing with my prodigal.”]

My son sensed my pain of rejection and separation from Liz. Out of his compassion for me and the desire to have his nephew, Bobby, know his grandmother, he arranged a luncheon meeting at a restaurant this month to celebrate my 76th birthday. As the date grew closer, I prayed more intently that I would keep the attention on my daughter, her son, and my other two grown children who were to attend. I wanted to let our get-together be all about them—not me.

On the day of the family meeting, I brought peace offerings. I baked my grandson’s favorite Christmas cookies and took several pages from a photo album that had elementary school pictures of my three children when they were Bobby’s age. It turned out to be an “ice-breaker.”

As we met, my heart pounded then rejoiced when Liz was friendly toward me and open to conversation. After lunch, as Liz and I made our way to the restroom, she said that her son, Bobby, wanted to see me more and she was sorry that it had not happened before. She invited me to come to her home this coming Christmas for a few days to bake cookies with her son. Words eluded me but my heart sang for joy.

It took my prayers, the efforts of my only son, and the desire of Liz’s little boy—my grandson—to spend time with me that brought about a change of Liz’s heart. “And a little child will lead them.” Isaiah 11:6

Never Stop Praying

You’ve heard me say it before, and I know it’s so hard to do when your heart is breaking and you don’t see any change in the situation, but never stop praying for your prodigal. Alice prayed for 27 years. I prayed for six years for my prodigal. Previous blogs from prodigal Alycia Neighbours related how long her parents prayed for her return: Never Stop Praying for Your Prodigal! and After the Party for the Returning Prodigal.

[Tweet “Many times prayer is the only thing you can do when everything else is out of your control.”]

As Alice said above, many times prayer is the only thing you can do when everything else is out of your control. In the chapter on Praying Biblically in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, Alice told how she prayed scripturally for her daughter, which is how I also prayed for my daughter. It’s simply personalizing and paraphrasing God’s Word as a prayer back to Him (See 40 Days of Praying Scripture for Your Prodigal on page 313). Here’s how Alice said she prayed Scripture:

*I’ve learned to pray for my daughter by praying back the Scriptures to God. For example, I pray Ezekiel 36:27-29 for Liz’s heart to soften and for her to return home: “God, give my daughter Liz a heart of flesh to replace her heart of stone toward spiritual things. Through Your Spirit, move her to follow Your decrees and carefully keep Your laws. Help Liz to return home. Allow her to live in the land You, God, gave to her spiritual forefathers; may she be Your child, may You be her God. Save her from all her uncleanness.”

What has helped you maintain a “glimmer of hope” while waiting for your prodigal to return?

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*Excerpts from Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help, and Encouragement for Hurting Parents.

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August 18, 2014
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After The Party for the Returning Prodigal . . .

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Last month, Alycia Neighbours wrote a guest post, Never Stop Praying for Your Prodigal. In that article, Alycia shares her prodigal daughter testimony that touched many of my, and her, blog followers.

 
I opened that blog explaining that in my book, Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, Alycia’s mom, Chris Adams. shares the story of praying for her prodigal daughter. While I was writing the last chapter of the book, Alycia reunited with her family and I was able to include an excerpt from Chris’ journal of their reunion.

 
I asked Alycia if she would share what it was like when she returned after being gone for eight years, and how her twin-sister Amanda, felt about her return. Today Alycia and Amanda share with you the emotional rollercoaster of welcoming home a prodigal. As I read Alycia’s article, it confirmed everything I wrote in Section Five of Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, “Welcoming Home Your Prodigal Daughter.” Remember, that everything in the book, as well as Alycia’s suggestions, also apply to a prodigal son.

Alycia Neighbours prodigal home cartoon.= website

The prodigal has returned. Hugs, parties, and fatted calf are over—and now everyone sits back wondering, what next?

Not Everyone is Celebrating

In the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-31, Jesus tells the story of the brother who wasn’t happy watching all the celebration over the return of the “black sheep.” After all, he had been there all along, probably comforting his family, picking up the missing brother’s slack, and being the good reliable son.

I can’t tell you much of what happened after that Scripture story, but I can tell you that when I returned home as a prodigal, it wasn’t all parties and celebrations. It was hard for all of us. Major trust had been broken that needed restoring. There were hurt feelings that needed soothing. Anger needed releasing; forgiveness was going to be a long road.

I had changed. I was different. I was humbled.

[Tweet “Not everyone is happy when the prodigal returns”]

I wasn’t trusted. I had set off a grenade in my family and things weren’t going to just fall back into a normal pace—despite my desperate desire to be back in my family.

My twin sister was thrilled I was found, after she had made many dead-end searches; but at the same time, she was furious that I was home

“It was trust. I didn’t trust that she wouldn’t run again, and then I am left with my parents destroyed AGAIN. She had run all her life. She had lied. What made this time so different? I couldn’t trust her, no matter how normal she seemed to be. I was the one always there for my parents. I did most everything right. Why were they so willing to accept her back? I was angry at her actions and her trying to prove she was a different person. She was missing for eight years, but she had been running long before that. I don’t know the pivotal point that made us closer again; but sometimes we fight (because we are sisters) and that anger and fear comes back.” – Amanda Dugger, my twin sister

Amanda and Alycia small

Amanda and Alycia

Restoration Takes Time

I couldn’t tell you the pivotal moment either. It just happened over a span of about seven years. It took years of being true to my word. The only time I ran was from my abusive husband; but this time, I ran to my family. I didn’t do everything right; there are many things I wish I could have had the foresight to see so I didn’t trip up again.

Many times since returning, I have had the urge to run again, but in a different direction. Now I run to my family and to God. Those I trust, believe in, and love.

[Tweet “Re-entry of a prodigal takes time.”]
There is a plot twist though. When my parents adopted Amanda and me, we had an older sister who remained with our biological family. I tracked her down, along with the rest of my biological family. I ended up hurting her too because I was hurting and needed to lash out at someone, and she was in my path at that moment. Presently, all relationships have been restored, but we will likely always be working at strengthening and learning to fully trust.

Twins and older sister

What I Want You To Take Away From My Story:

• Trust and restoration is possible, but it will take time. Be patient and honest with your feelings. Communication heals hurt. Your prodigal will want to prove herself/himself, but she/he is hurting too.
• Establish acceptable boundaries from the moment your prodigal comes home. Let her/him know what behavior is expected and not permitted.
• Expect the restoration process to be time consuming and emotionally consuming. Prayer is the only way to combat unexpected feelings that arise.
• Siblings and other family members affected by the prodigal should be encouraged to reunite on their own timetable. We all arrive at trust when it feels right and we feel God’s nudge.
• Just like the prodigal in Scripture who came groveling to his father, your prodigal is probably humbled, ashamed, and emotionally distraught over her/his actions. Show compassion because just like your heart is broken, hers/his is too. At first, be gentle even when you don’t feel like it. Later, you can discuss the tougher subjects. Just love your prodigal.
• Triggers that caused them to run in the first place may make your prodigal feel the need to run again. Try right away to identify these triggers, respect that they are an integral part of your prodigal’s psyche, and work as a team to acknowledge, validate, and work through the triggers so she/he can feel secure that she/he has truly found her/his way back home.

[Tweet “Show your returning prodigal unconditional love”]

__________________________

Thank you again Alycia for your openness and willingness to share your story to help other parents and prodigals. You can read more of Alycia’s story in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter.

June 23, 2014
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Love Song Couples Getaway–Trip Two

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Anna and Jason Huff Jerome

 

“We met so many great couples, created a closer bond with two couples – adding to several from last year. For us… It’s renewing, rejuvenating, rewarding, re-energizing in all levels. We love these trips.”—Rachelle Souza, after attending several Love Song Couples Getaways

If you follow me through my newsletters, Facebook, and blogs, you know that my husband Dave and I went on our first Love Song Couples Getaway last year in Maui. You might enjoy reading the blog I wrote about what led us to go on this amazing trip and the blessing it was to us as a Christian couple. I also wrote blog posts describing “The Wonders of Prayerful Handholding” describing how our holding hands to pray while on the trip led to making new friends, “God We Need Friends,” many of which we’ve kept in contact with even though they live in different states!

Trip Two–2014

The last night of the Maui getaway 2013, they announced the Bahamas as an addition to their 2014 trips. Dave was out of his seat signing us up, and we’ve been budgeting and saving all year.

Well, we just returned from yet another amazing Love Song Couples Getaway encounter with each other and with God in the Bahamas! Again, we made new friends from all over the USA, even met couples from Idaho, and renewed friendships from last year.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, was our keynote speaker, and if you ever get a chance to hear him in person, he’s an awesome communicator  . . . and funny. His messages were biblical and practical. He shared with us how his early years of marriage were not as blissful as he had anticipated and how their differences almost split them apart until he learned three key questions:
1. Honey, what can I do to help you?

2. How can I make your life easier?

3. How could I be a better husband (wife)?

When Dr. and Mrs. Chapman learned how to serve each other, their marriage soared. We had the pleasure of also meeting the delightful Mrs. Chapman, who accompanied her husband on the trip.

Dr. Chapman talked about the 5 Love Languages, but he also told us about the 5 Apology Languages, Dealing Effectively with Our Failures, Learning to Forgive, and The Grace of Anger. Every topic was applicable to your marriage or any relationship.

Me with Dr. Gary Chapman

Magnificent Worship

Mac Powell of Third Day, Brandon Heath, and John Micah led our worship time and performed concerts that had us on our feet singing and pleading for more, while they also shared parts of their lives with us. They sang to us on the beaches of Paradise Island as the sun rose over the ocean, during a Blue Lagoon beach outing, under the stars during sunset, in a restaurant after a sunset catamaran cruise, and in the ballrooms of the Atlantis Hotel. Their powerful messages, voices, and instruments flooded the heavenlies above Paradise Island in the Bahamas.

Brandon HeathMorning Worship with Brandon Heath

Just Kids Again

The Atlantis has the most elaborate array of water slides and adventures in the world. Hubby Dave and I relaxed on the Lazy River floats; and yes, we ventured onto a double tube scary slide that switch backed quickly through a dark tunnel and spit us out under a shark tank! Once was enough for that one!

Hubby and me on the ferry to a beach day at the Blue Lagoon

We renewed our friendships with Calvin and Lisa from Ohio, Karen and Jim from North Carolina, and Ron and Janelle from Illinois—couples we met last year in Maui—and had a great time meeting and making new friends from all over. The Atlantis is such a huge property, if we encountered a couple more than once, we knew it was a divine appointment. We’ll keep in touch with many of the couples we met.

Lisa and Calvin

Ron and Janelle from Illinois

Return to Maui…

Last year in Maui, we made some dear Southern California friends who opted to go back to Maui this year. We’ve been seeing pictures all week on Facebook from that Hawaiian paradise where they also enjoyed Gary Chapman, along with Pastor Greg Laurie, Bart Miller of Mercy Me, Matt Hammitt of Sanctus Real, and Leeland. Here they are having fun and fellowship in Maui . . .

Photo: Davis isn't too old to ride on the handle bars! But it does take the rest of us to hold him up there!

What’s My Message?

Yes, we had great fun and relaxation, but both years our vacation with The Love Song Couples Getaway has also been a time of refreshment for our own ministry and marriage, as well as an opportunity to share a little glimpse of heaven with other believing couples.

If you’re married, I would encourage you to getaway to a couple’s retreat that fits your budget and schedule…well you might have to stretch both…but your marriage is the earthly replica of Christ’s relationship with the church. Dave and I are now on a fixed income and we sacrificed to make an investment in our marriage and spiritual walk to go on these trips. The sacrifice was nothing in comparison with the blessings we received.

If you’re single, find a spiritual retreat or conference to getaway from the franticness of life and spend time with fellow believers and the Lord. Is your church having a retreat or conference or is one coming to your town? Go!

Pastor Jim Wright of Mountain Church Medford, Oregon, was another speaker at our Bahamas and Maui Getaways, and he challenged us to ask ourselves:

 “Do you live with a sense of divine destiny?”

Next to his following comment, I wrote the word Mentoring:

“Learn from the experience of others. You don’t have to learn everything the hard way. Only God can give victory! Choose to remind each other that we are totally dependent on Jesus to live life to its fullest, not just exist.”

Go for it! Live life to the fullest in Christ and help others learn to do the same.

“The trip may end, but the friendships we made with you all continues! That’s the biggest blessing of these trips!” —Vanessa Garcia speaking of friendships we all made on our first Love Song Couples Getaway to Maui

If you missed last Monday’s Love Your Body blog, I wrote about how to eat healthy while on vacation. Next Monday, I’ll share more Love Song Couples Getaway pictures of beach baptisms and the story of my granddaughter’s baptism.

June 2, 2014
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Never Stop Praying for Your Prodigal!

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Many of you have read my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, in which praying mother, Chris Adams, shares the story of praying for her prodigal daughter Alycia. While I was writing the last chapter of the book, Alycia reunited with her family and I was able to include an excerpt from Chris’ journal of their reunion. God’s timing was, as always, perfect. I wrote in the final chapter:

Chris Adams shared and wrote about her story in this book when she had no idea if her prodigal daughter was dead or alive. But just today—this very day—as I conclude this final chapter—there’s another chapter in her story of God’s amazing grace. .

Today, Alycia boldly shares her testimony with you, my blog followers. I’m so proud to introduce to you returning prodigal, Alicia Neighbors!

Prodigal drawing

I Ran From My Family and God

I started running away from my family and God when I was in my early teens. I ran because I sought acceptance, approval and an excitement I didn’t believe I had within my home. I ran because I wanted to be my own boss of my destiny and thought I could find my purpose on my own with no help from my earthly family or from a God I couldn’t see or hear.

My answer to any inward or outward conflict was flight.

My parents made the difficult decision to place me in a group home. I thought they just didn’t want me around, and for a while, played the game of the rules that were set up. Then the urge came from nowhere to run again. It wasn’t a suggestion of my mind, but a desire of my heart. Just to prove in this controlled environment that I didn’t need anyone and could once again design my life with no help from anyone else.

I Ran Into an Abusive Relationship

Years later, I found myself in a marriage full of domestic abuse that would not allow me to run. Oh, I tried to run a few times, but he made sure that I regretted it and even threatened my life if I tried it again. Before the marriage, I had a son by another man. After a few beatings from my husband and seeing his anger directed towards my son, I signed away my parental rights to my son’s natural father and took my husband’s suggestion to disappear from everyone.

For eight years, there was no contact with anyone. Often during those times, I had a strong pull to contact my parents, but I wasn’t allowed a phone or alone time away from the house. I was trapped and I began to pray that somehow a way would be made. No easy option presented itself, so I realized I was going to have to make something happen. I emailed my aunt and asked her if restoration was even possible. She encouraged me that my parents loved me deeply and I needed to heal what was broken.

A Praying Mother’s Prayers

In my mother’s prayer journal, she had written:

“After not seeing our daughter Alycia for over 8 years, and hot hearing from her in 3-4 years, I was compelled for the last couple of months to pray that God would just let us know if Alycia was alive. During the last month, Amanda, [her twin sister] unknowing of my prayers, was also searching once again for her on the Internet. She finally came across her name on an email on petfinders.com. It was a response thanking someone for returning her missing dog.

Amanda emailed me the string of emails with this information. That continued to stir my heart and prayers for Alycia. “Sleuth” Amanda, began trying to find the lady who had found the dog, and when she did, she discovered it had taken place a couple of years ago. But as Amanda continued to search, she came across a “last known” address. On Wednesday, November 1, Amanda drove to the address and knocked on the door. No one answered so she left a note saying, “If Alycia lives here, please call and just give us a phone number so we could let her know if someone in our family died.”

I stole my husband’s cell phone while he was sleeping and called my mom. We exchanged some pictures online of her one-year-old granddaughter she had not met and made plans to meet. At this same time, my twin sister had felt the pull to track me down and found the house I had just moved from. We missed each other by about two weeks. My husband was not pleased about my sneaking, but I cracked the door open and even he knew that to prevent me from going wasn’t going to end it. He did send me to the reunion meeting with a broken nose and two black eyes, but I made contact finally.

I Ran Back Into The Welcoming Arms of God and My Parents

Alycia and parentsAlicia and her parents Chris and Pat Adams

The restoration of the prodigal child and parent relationship can take time because of the trust issues formed during flight mode and absences; but it’s not beyond our God’s ability to heal. I would imagine if we sat down with a calendar, every time I felt a “pull” to go home was also the same time that my parents and others were in intense prayer for me.

In my mother’s journal about the experience, she said this

“Alycia knew nothing about my prayers or Amanda’s searching, which is why this had to be the work of the Holy Spirit nudging each of us toward one another.”

Now many years later, my parents and I have a good relationship. My marriage to the abusive man ended through widowhood, and I’m now married to a wonderful man and gained four bonus sons in addition to my three girls. My faith and love in my Heavenly Father has been restored as I allowed Him to finally bless me the way He had always wanted to. I allow His will to dictate my life and no longer feel the need to make my own way. His plan and purpose is so much better.

I have stopped running because everything I ran to—love, acceptance, family, and purpose—had been there all along. It just took my prayers and the prayers of my parents and many others to help me see this.

What do I want you to take away from all this?

1.)   Never stop praying or give up hope on your prodigal. It may be weeks, months or years, but your prayers are essential for your prodigal to feel the “pull” home.

2.)   If you still have limited contact with your prodigal, don’t let them see your bitterness or anger at their actions. Mimic God’s love and acceptance. You can verbalize you don’t like what they are doing, but you will always love them.

3.)   Your prodigal may have found themselves in a situation that does not allow them to come home or make contact. Form large prayer groups to fully cover your prodigal. More prayers, more “pull.”

 

Thank you Alycia! Her last three points, I also cover in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, along with the promise that God will always give you all a testimony to share.There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter for family and support groups. My husband and I hold a support group for parents and grandparents of prodigals to give them a safe place to unite in praying for their prodigals. If you have a prodigal, please consider forming such a group.

I have support on my website to help you get started. By the way, the principles in this book apply to both daughters and sons.

Never stop praying.—1 Thessalonians 5:17

 

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May 19, 2014
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Remember Your First Love

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I don’t have to tell you that Saturday is Valentine’s Day. You may have special plans with your sweetheart to celebrate this day devoted to “love.” Hubby and I are going to the only “tablecloth” restaurant in our little town, so we knew we had to have reservations early. I’ve mailed Valentine cards to grandkids, and have the perfect card ready to sign for my sweet husband.

Romantic love is God’s plan. He wanted us to be madly in love with our spouse and never forget the passion, and maybe even infatuation, that drew us together.

“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” —Proverbs 5:18

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. —Ephesians 5:25

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands. —Titus 2:4

It might seem strange to us that young women would need training in how to love their husbands, as it says in Titus 2:4. We think that comes naturally, and it usually does . . . at first. But what happens to love after years of being together and going through life’s challenges? Many of us say the circumstances of life draw us closer to each other, but other couples struggle to love each other as they did at first.

Loving Jesus As You Did at First

Just like earthly love can mellow and grow lukewarm, so can our love for Christ. That’s exactly what happened to the church at Laodicea, much to the Lord’s chagrin:

But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!

—Revelation 3:16

Some of you might be shaking your head in denial right now: “No, that could never happen to me!” Well think back to what you were like when you first became a Christian. Remember your zeal and passion to tell everyone about this newfound relationship with Christ. Was everyone excited to hear about it, or did you start to get push back from people and decide that maybe you would just keep your relationship with Christ private and to yourself?

Then life got busy and your Bible started collecting dust. Oh, you still dutifully go to church on Sunday, joined a small group, tithe, and have a bumper sticker from your church on your car. But do people know that you are deliriously, head-over-heals, madly in love with Jesus? Does your spouse even know that?

Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you? —1 Corinthians 7:16

Could it be that you still love Jesus, but maybe not like you did at first. Jesus has His place in your life, but if you’re honest, you’d have to say Jesus doesn’t hold 1st priority in your activities, finances, energy, time…maybe even in your heart. This happened to the church at Ephesus and it can happen so easily to us today too.

The Church at Ephesus Forgot Their First Love

In Acts 2:42-47, we see the devotion of the first believers at the church in Ephesus:

All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper) and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity— all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

Paul commended the next generation of believers in Ephesus for the depth of their love for Christ:

So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.—Ephesians 3:17-19 (NIV)

But in Revelation 2:2-4, this same church became a dutiful church lacking in love:

I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!

How did the Church at Ephesus go from devotion to brotherly love for Christ, to the 2nd generation, rooted and grounded in Christ’s love, to the 3rd generation forgetting their first love?

It seems that the second generation got so caught up with how to do church, that they forgot why we have church—because we LOVE Jesus! They didn’t pass down the love of Christ to their children and grandchildren.

Do our children and grandchildren know why we’re taking them to church and Sunday school? Do they know that we are Christians because we love Jesus more than anything in the world? Do we role model our love for Christ to the next generation?

Remember Your First Love

The letter to the Church at Ephesus has the answers to reclaiming Jesus as our first love:

  • Remember: “Look how far you have fallen!” (v. 5)
  • Repent: “Turn back to me” (v. 5)
  • Refocus: “and do the works you did at first.” (v. 5)

Or else . . .

  • Removal: “If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches. Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious I will give fruit from the tree of life in the paradise of God.” (v. 7)

Removing the lampstand meant they would no longer be an effective church . . . or effective Christian witness. . . or effective role model to the next generation. And my friends, if Jesus slips from first place in our life, we too will stop being effective Christians.

God wants us to maintain the passion and excitement we had when we first fell in love with His Son, Jesus Christ. Have you been around a new believer lately? They have a radiance and glow . . . just like a new bride. New believers are on fire for the Lord. There’s a contagious joy and exuberance about them. Others want to know the source of their happiness.

Only when we place Jesus first in our life and heart—and keep Him there—can we love others with a genuine Christ-like love. His love fuels us to be better spouses, parents, friends . . . Christians.

If you would like more specifics on how to reclaim Jesus as your First love, I wrote about this in my blog last year, Who’s Your First Love?

Have a Happy Jesus is “My First Love” Day!

*Unless otherwise noted, all Scriptures are from the New Living Translation

 

February 10, 2014
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Balancing Grace and Truth

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Reposting this, since my feed did not go out on December 30th. 

Recently on my Facebook timeline, there was a discussion about grace and truth. I made the statement that I was glad that the public debate about the GQ interview with Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty, and A&E’s subsequent suspension of him, was prompting the moral majority of Christians to speak out about their beliefs. Speak out they did, with a united voice heard around the world. People opposing, instead of tolerating, sin.

I also said Christians have erred on the side of grace resulting in sin not only being tolerated, but legalized. We know the commandment “Thou shalt not kill,” but abortion is legal and called a “woman’s choice.” The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin and marriage is between a man and a woman, but homosexual marriage is becoming legal and called a lifestyle choice. Sin has always been a choice, that’s why God sent His Son to earth to offer us grace…not grace to keep on sinning . . . but grace to choose to turn from our wicked ways, seek forgiveness, and accept eternal life with Christ. An undeserved second chance to live a righteous life— the balance of grace and truth.

Truth or Grace

  • “You’re late!” A greeting to the last arriving meeting members. Truth but no Grace.
  • “Where are you going to live?” A response to a Christian who announces she’s going to live with her boyfriend. Grace but no Truth.
  • “That dress looks terrible on you.” Truth but no Grace.
  • “It’s alright. No problem.” A reply to a friend backing out on an important commitment. Grace but no Truth.
  • “You are going to hell if you keep up that behavior!” Truth but no Grace.
  • “Ok, I understand…” Said to the friend you babysat for numerous times, but when you ask to do a trade, she’s too busy. Grace but no Truth.
  • “Congratulations!” A gay couple tells you they are getting married. Grace but no Truth

Balancing Grace and Truth

Ephesians 4:15 says for us to “tell the truth in love.” What does that really mean, and most importantly, how do we do it? Not Grace or Truth or Grace versus Truth, but Grace and Truth. Yes, they can occur simultaneously, but it takes work. Displaying both grace and truth is a delicate balance, and often, we err towards one side or the other.

When faced with a sinful situation, many Christians fear sounding judgmental so their response is full of grace, but evades the truth. This can appear to condone the sinful behavior. Or, we’re so shocked or appalled at the sin we know God hates, that we slam the person with biblical truth. Very few are receptive to a condemning approach.

I tend to err on the side of wanting the truth told, but not knowing how to present it in a grace-filled manner. How do we not condemn, but not condone? How can we tell the truth, but still extend grace?

Follow Jesus’ Example

Randy Alcorn wrote an excellent book on this topic, The Grace and Truth Paradox: Responding with Christ-like Balance. Randy points out that the early church drew thousands to Jesus by copying the only model they had at the time…Jesus himself. Today, we often ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Those people knew what Jesus would do. We could arrive at a number of adjectives describing the character of Christ that would let us know what He would do today, but Randy suggests all reduce to two character qualities…yes only two!

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” John 1:1,14.

Jesus was full of both grace and truth all the time. Not grace one time and truth another time, Everything He did and everything He said embodied both character qualities. Notice that grace comes first in the verse because it was a new concept to the early Christians. They knew about the truth of the law from the Old Testament, but the grace of forgiveness that Jesus brought was brand new to them. 

Even in Jesus’ days, with his example to emulate, some like the Pharisees still chose to rely only on truth, and we know them as legalists. Jesus pointed out that the law could only reveal sin, but the grace of Jesus Christ could remove it.

We want others to know Jesus by what they see in our life, but then we have to ask ourselves what do they see in us? Are we full of grace and truth? Does it seem like a paradox sometimes? It shouldn’t. Randy points out that grace without truth, or truth without grace, are like a bird without one wing.

He Told Me Everything I’ve Ever Done!

In John 4:7-26, Jesus encountered the “woman at the well” who was living in sin. Jesus didn’t hesitate to point out to her the truth of her sin, yet he offered her a way out by grace. He didn’t run from the truth because it would embarrass her or put her on the spot. He simply stated the truth, but assured her He was The Way to grace. And what was the result of Jesus confronting her with grace and truth? The woman left her sinful life and became one of the first women evangelists (John 4:28-30).

No Bait and Switch

Communicating with grace and truth is not telling someone something flattering, then zinging them with truth. That bait and switch approach is never effective. They feel manipulated and tricked. Have you ever had that happen to you where you wonder: Did they just compliment or chastise me? Telling the truth should never cause confusion. It needs to be clear and concise.

Grace doesn’t mean sugarcoating, That’s not what Jesus would do. The passage in John 4:7-26 is a pattern for displaying grace and truth like Jesus. Notice Jesus didn’t first compliment the woman, then slam her with the truth. He first asked her a question, “Will you give me a drink?” which was a display of grace since Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans. The remainder of the passage is an example of Jesus telling the truth with grace. He confronted her with the truth of her sin and offered her the grace of forgiveness and eternal life.

What About You?

Check yourself with Randy Alcorn’s “Two Point Checklist” to help determine if you are a grace and truth Christian.

1.  Are nonbelievers uncomfortable around you?

It could be you are erring on the side of legalistic truth. People were drawn to Christ, who was both grace and truth, but ran from the Pharisees who had only the ‘truth.’

2.  Do all nonbelievers like you?

A red flag that you are erring on the side of grace. The true spirit of grace is that you love enough to tell the biblical truth and share the Gospel.

 Truth without grace:            Destroys          Crushes

    Grace without truth:             Deceives          Cowardly

Grace and Truth together:    Draws              Christ

God’s truths are guardrails in life to prevent us from going over the cliff into the sinful abyss, not tools for beating us over the head. A means of rescue, not a weapon. Truth can release someone from bondage or rescue him or her from certain death. When we choose to bypass truth and go straight to grace, it’s no longer grace. Offering someone grace without the truth—the guardrail that protects and sets us free to know the true grace of Jesus—is sending them over the cliff in a loving way.

A quote from Randy’s book:  “Truth without grace breeds a self-righteous legalism that poisons the church and pushes the world away from Christ. Grace without truth breeds moral indifference and keeps people from seeing their need for Christ. Attempts to “soften” the gospel by minimizing truth keep people from Jesus. Attempts to “toughen” the gospel by minimizing grace keep people from Jesus. It’s not enough for us to offer grace or truth. We must offer both.”

This is something most of us will spend a lifetime trying to achieve and only Jesus was perfect at it, but the Holy Spirit will help us if we ask. Tricia McCary Rhodes writes in Taking Up Your Cross about Jesus’ grace versus the truth of our inadequacy, “To be humble is to live always with poignant awareness of God’s extravagant grace poured out in exchange for our complete inadequacy.” And isn’t that the TRUTH!

“If we get it wrong about Jesus, it doesn’t matter what else we get right.” —Randy Alcorn

Phil Robertson

January 7, 2014
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