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Trust In God, Not the Government

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It doesn’t matter which party is in power or who is in government positions, we should always place our trust and hope in God, not the government or politicians. That’s why it still says on our money and in the House Chamber, “In God We Trust,” which became our nation’s official motto on July 30, 1956, when Dwight D. Eisenhower signed the bill proclaiming it the law of the land!

I think many lawmakers walking the halls of Congress and many voters forget that God is the only One who is trustworthy, regardless of how many politicians try to put themselves in His place.

Last week, as Biden gave his first public address to the nation, he painted a “dark” picture of our country and tried to tell us that our only hope of living free again in the land of the free was in his words as he leaned into the camera, “trust the government and science.” A government that wants to tell us when we can hug grandma and grandpa and maybe have a backyard BBQ on the 4th of July if we obey and follow the government’s ever changing “science-based” rules and guidelines for living everyday life.

What he grossly omitted from his lecture to America was mentioning the Only source of hope out of any darkness or trouble: Celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ together in our churches on Easter Sunday next month!

For a child is born to us,
    a son is given to us.
The government will rest on his shoulders.
    And he will be called:
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
7 His government and its peace
    will never end.
He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David
    for all eternity.
The passionate commitment of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies
    will make this happen! Isaiah 9:6-7 NLT

Discernment and Rational Thinking Seem to Be Masked

During the election, a group of prominent Pastors and Christian leaders who called themselves, “Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden,” baffled me. It seemed an oxymoron. They wanted to believe that Biden’s campaign would honor a verbal agreement to check with them before making any abortion legislation, so they supported him and tried to get others onboard.

Yet, with only a little investigation and discernment while listening to his campaign points directed to his core liberal constituency, they would have easily deducted that he actually would . . .

  • Reverse the Hyde Amendment, which he once supported but now Democrats call racist
  • Make himself the champion of a “woman’s right to choose” and call it “healthcare”
  • Force taxpayers to pay for abortion up and through the point of birth
  • Reopen the case against the Little Sisters of the Poor and reinstate the policy that every organization had to pay for abortifacient contraceptives
  • Reverse the Mexico City Policy, which prevents taxpayers from funding abortion overseas
  • If SCOTUS overturned Roe V Wade, he’d go to Congress and make it the law of the land
  • Oh and BTW, his running mate was a liberal advocates for abortion.

They would know that the head of the U.S. Catholic Bishops wrote a public scathing rebuke of Catholic Biden’s radical support of abortion and redefinition of gender.

You had to be completely oblivious or in denial not to know that the Biden/Harris administration was going to not only support and liberally promote abortion, but also radical gender identity issues.

Yet still the Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden are now publically outraged and feel betrayed?!

“We are very disappointed about the COVID-19 relief package’s exclusion of the Hyde Amendment, a longstanding bipartisan policy that prevents taxpayer funding for abortion. We’re even more upset that the Biden administration is supporting this bill,” the group declared in a recent statement.

“As pro-life leaders in the evangelical community, we publicly supported President Biden’s candidacy with the understanding that there would be engagement [with] us on the issue of abortion and particularly the Hyde Amendment,” the group said. “The Biden team wanted to talk to us during the campaign to gain our support, and we gave it on the condition there would be active dialogue and common ground solutions on the issue of abortion. There has been no dialogue since the campaign.”

How could any Christian be so deceived? How did they think they would find common ground with the Biden liberal agenda even if they had been consulted? They weren’t betrayed; they were used. He’s doing just what he said he would do. Joe Biden is being Joe Biden.

Wouldn’t you think that Pro-life Evangelicals, and even Catholics who voted for him, could’ve seen through his political two-sided facade?

What made Joe renege his Catholic faith beliefs and reverse position on many policies he once championed like the Hyde Ammendment? Power. It seems that the temptation to compromise became too great. Becoming President overshadowed his once core beliefs.

It’s so important as citizens and Christians that we diligently do our homework and persistently pray for wisdom and discernment. Look at facts and details with clear unbiased eyes. We don’t want to become jaded with cynicism, but we do want to be realistic and pursue all avenues before making final decisions or placing our support behind a person or issue.

Often Christians are characterized as naïve and gullible, and honestly, the Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden being so easily manipulated and duped, only reinforces this misconception. But it’s the opposite of who we are! We know the Author of Truth who is just a prayer away.

We are naïve and gullible when we trust those who do not have the same values and beliefs that we do. If we have doubts or concerns, then we do our own research and don’t rely on political rhetoric.

Give discernment to me, your servant; then I will understand your laws. Psalm 119:125 NLT

My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them. Pr. 3:21 NLT

Rich people may think they are wise, but a poor person with discernment can see right through them. Pr. 28:11 NLT

Let those who are wise understand these things. Let those with discernment listen carefully. The paths of the Lord are true and right, and righteous people live by walking in them. But in those paths sinners stumble and fall. Hosea 14:9 NLT

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Science Continually Changes, God Never Does

What so many people forget is that science and faith are not mutually exclusive. God created science and gave man the potential to explore and study it. God created the world; only He knows when it will end. God created and controls the weather and the climate. God created gender, male and female.

Covid was man-made by scientists and yet we’re continually told to trust the science as government uses the pandemic to control us.

God knows what we should do in all circumstances. Who we should trust and who has evil motives. We just need to take our concerns and questions to Him. Then listen for His answer!

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Pr. 29:25

 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. Ps. 20:7

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans. Ps. 118:8

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Ps. 46:1-2

What Does God Want Us to Learn About Placing Our Trust in the Wrong Places?

When we pray about decisions, God gives us a confirming peace or a check in our spirit that something isn’t quite right. If you’re experiencing unrest right now, pray and ask God to fill you with discernment and wisdom then trust that the peace you feel moving forward is coming from the Lord.

Dave and I often pray about big and little decisions on our own and then together. Then we wait until we’re both in agreement that we’re doing the right thing. It might take a while and each of us might need to change some preconceived ideas or do more research, but God will speak to us in unity through our prayers and reading our Bibles. Often one of us will say to the other one, “I was thinking the same thing.” Then we know we’re close to a decision.

If you’re not married find a prayer partner that you feel comfortable and confident sharing with each other.

We’re not going to find the way God wants us to go by relying solely on outside input like the culture, media, or social media. We’re children of God, not children of the world.

“Every Kingdom citizen is called to be a conformist toward God and a nonconformist toward the world’s systems. Let the Spirit change the environment within you; then trust the power within you to change the world around you.” Chris Tiegreen

If you now regret decisions that you’ve made in the past, join the club. We’ve all been there, but we can learn from our mistakes and with God’s help, choose a better way next time. He’ll never make us go it alone.

I hope that as you pray over the Scriptures I’ve included in this article that you’ll feel a peace come over you, like I did. We do our part to further the Kingdom, but we do it out of a sense of peace and not stress or fear. Shalom!

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense ; he has become my salvation.” Is. 12:2

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal. Is. 26:3-4

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Ps 143:8

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Ps. 56:3-4

Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD. Ps. 112:6-7

If you received this article by email, please leave a comment here. I read and reply to all of them.

The quotes from the Pro-Life Evangelicals for Biden came from an article by Mike Huckabee and also a link he shares, but they were readily published in the media. As I read their comments, I sensed that they still didn’t understand where they went wrong as many said they would still vote Democrat even knowing the liberals support everything they don’t support? Voters’ Remorse – Latest News – Mike Huckabee

March 15, 2021
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5 Ways to Disagree and Still be Friends

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While playing a card game with my grandchildren and their mommy, mommy suddenly “went out” on the first hand before any of us had a chance to play our cards. I was sitting across from my young granddaughter, who was next in line to play. As realization set in that the game was over, her face went from shock to anger as she erupted into a meltdown throwing her cards across the table, leaping out of her seat, and tearfully yelling she would never play with us again!

We tried to contain our smiles knowing she was upset for the moment, but would recover and return to the fun. I hope that as she matures, she will learn how to lose gracefully.

Sadly, during this presidential election cycle, just like 2016, we’ve witnessed adult meltdowns among friends and relatives who find it difficult, even impossible, to maturely disagree politically and still remain friends. Many tell stories of family members disowning them. Political disagreements turned personal.

Tragically, we watch with horror young people and adults displaying violent meltdowns in the streets of many of our cities with looting, burning, destruction, assaults, vileness, and even murder, without any local control! This seems to be the 2020 way for many liberals to express their political views.

I’ve had many “unsubscribes” to this Monday Morning Blog when I say we all should vote for a political platform and not a person. Even though they’ve followed me for years, I am no longer their friend because we disagree on a presidential candidate.

Political disagreements are not the only cause of divisiveness. I have family members who keep their distance because I’m a Christian. You probably do too.

COVID has introduced a sundry of issues for “friends” to disagree over. I wrote a blog recently Don’t Let COVID Divide the Church! We’re On the Same Team. In this article, I also discuss the reasons not to waste your time getting entangled in social media disagreements. I have seldom seen anyone with an opposing view leave a comment, “I see your point.” Typically, they just want to prove their point!

We all have a right to our beliefs but it shouldn’t end our relationship, our friendship, or our family ties.

Five Ways to Disagree and Still Maintain the Friendship

1. State your opinion but don’t force it on the other person.

Friendships should be a safe place to disagree. If you have a variety of friends, you’re going to have a variety of differing opinions. You can learn from each other.

In our couples small group, we get into some heavy exchanges of opinions, but we always know at the end of group we’ll pray, have dessert and coffee together, and leave as friends. After one evening of especially heated discussion, one person prayed that they were grateful we respected each other enough that we could express our thoughts openly, but still maintain our friendships.

We’re still friends in Christ, even though we disagree on some spiritual and perhaps political issues.

Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. Phil. 3:15 NLT

2. Don’t devalue the other person.

Use “I” statements; avoid “You” attacks. Ask why they believe the way they do. State the benefits of your position rather than the hazards of their beliefs. No name-calling allowed.

Don’t attack their character. Remain humble.

Respect must be given to be reciprocally received.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor. James 4:10 NLT

3. Consider your motives

We get into disagreements because we want the other person to acknowledge we’re right. Sometimes we care more about being right, than “our truth” helping the other person.

My granddaughter was trying to share Jesus with two friends of a different faith, and they ended up in a disagreement. I asked my granddaughter whether her motivation was compassion for her friend’s salvation or wanting to be right.

If it was their salvation, she should speak with passion about how much she loved Jesus and He loves her. If she just wanted to be right, she probably focused more on how wrong their faith was and that made them mad. She agreed she would be far more effective showing them Jesus’s love than trying to win an argument.

Our friends and family will know the love of our Jesus through the love we show them.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:34-35 NLT

4. Establish that your friendship is more important than the disagreement.

No disagreement is worth losing a friendship or a family member relationship.

Nothing is that important.

When you see a conversation turning into a disagreement, stop and establish between the two of you that your friendship or relationship means more to you both than the issue at hand.

If you both agree that continuing with the conversation would jeopardize your relationship, then change the subject.

Heather and I have been friends for years, and I love what she says about our friendship: “I have been aware of your position on politics as long as I’ve been your friend, and it hasn’t mattered. If you were not aware of mine, perhaps it is because I am much more interested in building and maintaining friendships than in debating politics.”

In my book, Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I share a time when my daughter and I differed on several major issues, but we still loved each other. We didn’t talk about them every time we were together, but we did talk about things we agreed on. We loved each other unconditionally because our mother/daughter relationship was more important than our differences.

Over the years, we’ve disagreed on other topics and we’ve practiced the same respect for each other. Love is more important than our disagreements.

A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

5. Let it go and pray!

Often a disagreement drags on because one of us won’t give up or we take the bait to start a disagreement instead of letting it pass.

We want the other person to come around to our way of thinking because we’re sure our way is the only right way and we have a great argument to support it. Tempers and voices rise. We say things we wish we hadn’t. Friendships and relationships fall apart.

It takes discipline to let the other person have the last word and then let the issue go.

Recently, I was at dinner with a group of Christians and I assumed we all had the same political views. We had been friends at church for years but had never discussed politics. Suddenly, one of the women asked what I thought of “Trump.” When I expressed favor, she started to say “Even though . . . .”

I could see where this conversation was going. I had arguments for what I knew she was going to say, but instead I decided to kindly reply, “I don’t think this is the time to get into a political discussion” and changed the subject.

Because we had never discussed politics before, I didn’t know she was liberal while I’m a conservative. But I knew we had been, and would continue to be, friends.

Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense. Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. Pr. 18:1-2 NLT

Lord, Satan is trying with all his might to divide your house and your people. We pray Lord with all our might that we would not let that happen. We would remember that a house divided cannot stand. Help us to be the peacemaker in our relationships, friendships, and families, without bending or compromising on the Truth. And Lord, if it must be that there are those who choose to no longer be our friends or in a relationship with us, guard us against a bitter heart and remind us to pray for a softening of their heart also. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen.

Note: This is an adaption and update of an article I wrote for Crosswalk after Donald Trump won the 2016 election. Not much has changed this year except it’s escalated to violence in the streets not just for a few days, but for months. I pray not only friendships but also our country survives the 2020 election.

September 7, 2020
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When God Confirms Your Message!

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I’m going to be short today. You’re probably going “right!” Well, I’m going to try.

Last week, I had some pre-cancers frozen off my hands and a couple of them are very painful so it’s hard to type. But God in His mercy brought to my attention a pastor whose blogs I could have written myself! As I read several, and listened to video clips, I wondered how I had never heard of Pastor Shane Idleman of Westside Fellowship Church in Lancaster, California.

While reading Pastor Idleman’s article “An Open Letter to American Churches—Focus on the Cross,” I found that many comments by this pastor are similar to ones I made in my blog last week, It Always Was About Jesus! He is the Real Target . . .

As I listened to Idleman’s message “Let Me Get This Straight” on You Tube, I was dittoing and saying amen to everything he said because I’ve been saying the same thing!

One more. In “Post-Pandemic Pastors & the Sin of Silence,” Pastor Idleman addresses issues I’ve been writing about.

Here’s just one: Why has it taken so long for pastors to realize they were the first to be silenced/closed during the pandemic while liquor stores and abortion clinics stayed open?! Now, thousands are rioting and protesting in mass and it seems to be no problem to the community spread of Covid; yet most churches are still closed or open under burdensome restrictions, like not singing.

God has used Pastor Idleman to confirm the messages God is giving me to write. I’m not alone. The Holy Spirit is speaking to both of us in a similar way. It’s as if Pastor Idleman and I are reading and writing from the same script. Actually, we are: The Bible!

I love what he says on his website:
“If we encourage truth, yet fail to relate to our culture, the church can seem formal and dead. This fact fuels the postmodern movement. But when truth is sacrificed for the sake of relating to the culture, as we see today, the very foundation is destroyed. Truth, the foundational beliefs clearly outlined in Scripture, must remain unmoved and unchanged. Times change, but truth does not!”

So what am I asking you to do this week? Read his blogs I mention above and maybe you will find more you want to read. I did. Each one I noted has a link embedded in the title. Watch the video clip also and pray about what you read and hear.

Let me know if God speaks to you through this pastor’s words as they speak to me.

President Trump’s Mount Rushmore Speech

If you didn’t hear President Trump’s historic speech at Mount Rushmore on July 3 that traced the history and legacy of the four presidents chiseled into this mountain in South Dakota, please take time to listen now. If you have children or grandchildren, listen with them. They may have never heard the contributions these men made to our freedom and the greatness of America.

Everyone has made mistakes in life but tearing down statues of our founding fathers only accentuates the ignorant mistakes of those participating in the violence.

We are the land of liberty not insanity.

We are the land where freedom reigns but lawlessness is condemned.

We are the land founded on God’s biblical principles that Satan will not destroy!

Here are several quotes that caught my attention from President Trump’s Mount Rushmore speech:

“Don’t rip up your heritage, live up to it!”

“It is time to speak up loudly and proudly to defend our country!”

“We stand strong! We stand proud! We stand tall! And we only kneel to almighty God!”

I hope to be back next week with a blog “America’s Problem Is Systemic Secularism NOT Systemic Racism. “

PS If you get an error message on the link to President Trump’s speech, just wait and it will come up.

July 6, 2020
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#AloneTogether

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The one thing everyone has in common today with most people around the world is that we’re all at home. Unless you’re in the healthcare community, work at an “essential” business or one that has figured out how to do curbside pickup, you’re experiencing alone time.

Those who have children or family members at home might be laughing that you wish you had some alone time.

In recent years, there’s been infrequent unity across political and spiritual differences, but COVID-19 has leveled the playing field. Well, maybe not political divides—sadly, many are trying to make this crisis political.

The last significant unifying occurrence in America would probably be 911. While we all mourned together the horrific attack on our country, New York suffered the brunt of pain and loss.

COVID-19 is indiscriminate. It’s a pandemic. The entire world is experiencing pain and loss. We’re all in this together. Even though states and countries may be handling this crisis differently, the streets of most towns and cities are empty.

We’re #alonetogether!

Physical Distancing but Not Social Distancing

The first time I heard the term “social distancing,” it grated on me like fingernails on a chalkboard. I didn’t like it. People are saying it will be our new normal. That would be a tragic fallout of this experience.

We will probably need to stay at a physical distance from each other, maybe not hug or handshake for a while. Some say forever.

But socially isolating ourselves from each other permanently is dangerous and unsustainable. Social distancing can never become social disengagement!

We need each other. We need physical touch. We need to stay in touch!

Since the beginning of Creation, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. Genesis 2:18

God created us as social beings to interact and communicate with each other, not distance ourselves emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially, or mentally.

The ultimate punishment for someone in prison is solitary confinement, alone.

Even if you’re not typically a social person, social isolation leads to loneliness, which leads to poor physical and mental health.

How can I say that?

Well here are some statistics from a psychologist for those who suffer from loneliness:

29% are more likely to have coronary artery disease

32% are more likely to have a stroke or die

40% are more likely to have dementia, if they’re in that age group.

  • When we stop using our cognitive skills to interact, our brain starts deteriorating.
  • When we stop using our relational instincts to interact, our emotions start deteriorating.
  • When we stop using our physical impulses to interact, our body starts deteriorating.

In an article by Axel F. Sigurdsson, MD, PhD, Loneliness, Social Isolation, and Poor Health, He pointed out

“Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with increased risk of early mortality. Being socially connected increases not only psychological and emotional well-being but also has a positive influence on physical health.”

“Although loneliness is usually associated with social isolation, it is important to discriminate between the two. Social isolation refers to a lack of contact with other people, while loneliness indicates a state of mind.”

Despite these different definitions, there is significant overlap between social isolation and loneliness. Hence, the terms are often used interchangeably.”

You might be actually living alone in isolation right now or you might be feeling isolated even though you’re not physically alone.

We’re out of our routines. Maybe you went to work every day and now you’re out of work or working from home.

How many times did we complain about having to grocery shop, but now it’s considered an “essential” reason to leave home. It’s a luxury even though we have to mask up and wear gloves and deal with empty shelves, at least we’re out of the house and among other people.

We’re #alonetogether!

We Can, and Must, Stay Socially Connected Even While Quarantined

#Alonetogether

Social media probably creates more virtual friends, than face-to-face friends. Yet aren’t those of us on social media glad we have these “friends” to communicate and commiserate with because we’re all going through something similar. It gives us a sense of social connectedness.

As our fresh food supply at home started dwindling, I looked in the refrigerator vegetable drawer and there was a big package of organic Romaine hearts and a bundle of avocadoes. That was all. So I put a post on Facebook, “I have Romaine lettuce but only avocadoes to make a salad. What else do you put in your salads? #nothingfresh #stayinghome.”

I started getting immediate responses and within hours, I had 100 comments and many new ideas for my salads. I heard from people I haven’t “talked to” on Facebook or in person for years from all walks of my life. We couldn’t share a meal together, but they were eager to help me plan mine.

My cousin read the post and commented, “These all sound so good!”

It almost felt like I had a group of friends helping me make dinner, while they probably were working on their dinner too.

If you’re not a social media fan, you can use SKYPE, ZOOM, or video chatting and messaging to talk while seeing each other. I mentioned in last week’s blog, #America Works Together Keeping the Faith, how my grandkids gave me a virtual birthday party.

We can use the tools we have to stay connected with each other. Churches who have video transmitting capability are reporting more online viewers and commitments to faith than they would ever have at church on Sunday. God is using the “screen” to reach people for Christ.

God uses inconvenient, unpleasant circumstances for good and so can we. It’s not the same as being together, that’s for sure, but it’s what we have right now.

We’re #alonetogether!

A note on social media. Stay away from negative input or people that bring you down emotionally. Avoid getting into political discussions or any that cause you anxiety.

“Call Your Mama!”

In one news report, the Surgeon General was discussing why older people were more susceptible to the coronavirus. He also addressed the loneliness that especially occurs if they’re living alone or unable to drive, be active physically, or get out of the house. Now they can’t even visit with their grandchildren and friends.

He closed his talk with “Call your mama!”

I would say my daughter and I have talked more since the pandemic started than we did before. It wasn’t like we didn’t talk a lot, we just talk more now—not texting or on Facebook, but on the phone. Hearing each other’s voice, laughs, and sometimes tears!

The story of the Rosetans may help to understand the importance of family relations and social surroundings for the risk of heart disease and other physical and mental illnesses.

In 1964 a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association examined a population of recent Italian immigrants in Roseto, a small town in the state of Pennsylvania. The study was instigated because the town doctor was completely baffled by the Rosetans’ near immunity to heart disease. He reported his observation and an extensive statistical population study funded by the American State and Federal governments was conducted.

The study compared health statistics of Rosetans to neighbouring towns and the initial results were astonishing. During the seven year period of study from 1955-1961:

No-one in Roseto under the age of 47 died of a heart attack; there was a complete absence of heart disease in men under the age of 55

The rate of heart attacks in men over 65 was half the national average

The death rates from all causes was 35% lower than anywhere else

The study confirmed the town doctor’s findings and went on to examine the factors that gave the Rosetans such improved health. It became known as the ‘The Roseto Effect’.

While living in the town to conduct the study however, the researchers observed several major differences as to how the Rosetans related to others in their community. They noticed a remarkably close-knit social pattern that was cohesive and mutually supportive with strong family and community ties, where the elderly in particular were not marginalized, but revered. Put simply, the Rosetans lived in brotherhood with one another.

The Roseto effect is a term used to describe the phenomenon by which a close-knit community experiences a reduced rate of heart disease.

So call your Mama, Dad, Grandparents, or extended family! Your life and their life could depend on it right now.

#AloneTogether!

The Loneliness Epidemic

I’ve mentioned in previous blogs that God has been nudging me to write a book on loneliness. He planted the seed in my mind last fall as my latest book Everyday Brave: Living Courageously as A Woman of Faith was releasing. I kept putting God off. We spent six weeks after the release of this book in Southern California. Then we returned home to the holidays, and before we knew it, we were experiencing a pandemic where people are isolated! Alone! Lonely!

I said, “Lord, forgive me for not taking You seriously when You put the theme of loneliness on my heart.” I had been asking people to pray for me to start writing, but I often said I was afraid the Lord would ask me to personally experience loneliness before I could write about it.

Well here we are. I’m in the high-risk category for COVID-19. I’m isolated! I’m writing.

I know many of you are experiencing some type of loneliness now or you have in the past. Would you be willing to share your story to help someone else? I need to hear from you!

  • When have you experienced loneliness?
  • How are you dealing with staying home now?
  • How did it present itself to you?
  • How did you overcome it, or maybe you haven’t yet?
  • How did God help you through it or what helped you the most?

You don’t have to answer in the comments here if that’s uncomfortable, but I would so appreciate receiving your story. I’ve noticed more people want to share their stories these days to help others and to help themselves heal.

Remember we’re all #Alonetogether!

I wanted to remind you that Everyday Brave: Living Courageously As A Woman of Faith is at a reduced price on my website for the month of April. I’ll sign and personalize it for you. It might make a thoughtful Mother’s Day gift for someone or for you. We’re certainly living in times requiring us to Get Our Brave On.

April 20, 2020
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#America Works Together Keeping the Faith!

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You’ve probably listened intently, as I have, to the daily Coronavirus Task Force briefings. In the beginning, we heard about the astronomical number of ventilators, ICU beds, and protective equipment that would be required when this virus hit America full force.

Scientists explained staggering graphs predicting horrific numbers of deaths. We became accustomed to hearing terms like “mitigation” “granular” “peaks” “flattening out the curve” “models.”

We were told, sometimes commanded, to practice “social distancing” “sheltering in place” quarantining, repeatedly washing our hands, not touching our faces, thoroughly sanitizing our homes. Don’t wear masks unless you’re sick morphed to everyone wear masks when you leave home. And don’t forget your disposable gloves.

We went from not gathering in groups of more than 50, than 30, than 10, and now only with those in your household.

The economy came to a complete halt as businesses closed their doors, workers laid off, schools, parks, restaurants, and beaches closed. Only what the local governments considered “essential” stayed open. Liquor stores are deemed essential but churches are “nonessential.” If a pastor thinks differently, he can be arrested or fined.

We followed “Presidential Guidelines for 15 Days” now extended to 30 days, as we anxiously await to hear what happens on May 1.

But alas the enormous number of ventilators thought to be required weren’t needed and we may now give our excess to other countries. Those contracting the disease and succumbing from it didn’t come close to the predicted dire statistics.

What Happened? We Kept the Faith!

The scientists explain the discrepancy in their predictions with what actually materialized was because they underestimated that the American people would follow the “mitigation” guidelines so closely. Grandparents would stop seeing their grandchildren. Everyone would stay 6 feet apart. Stop hugging. Stop shaking hands. Stop leaving home.

They also didn’t factor into their graphs and statistics, or even give credit to, the power of prayer.

Facts without faith are just numbers on a chart. With God, all things are possible. I wrote about this last month in my blog Family, Faith, and Science.

Yesterday, on Easter, we celebrated the fact that Jesus arose from the dead on the third day. Jesus was a real person who walked on this earth, was crucified on a cross, and was resurrected to walk on the earth again for 40 days before ascending to heaven to await those of us who believe in Him.

Facts substantiate our Christian faith.

Even though we couldn’t go to church, we could, and would, still pray from our homes for God to heal our land, comfort the sick, grieve with the grieving, give strength and protection to all the first-responders and hospital workers.

We plead with God to infuse our President with wisdom as he is forced to make decisions he could have never imagined would materialize on his watch.

As head of the task force, Vice President Pence, a devout Christian, often calls on the American people to pray and thanks them for their prayers “to heal our land.”

On Good Friday, our President addressed the American people from the Oval Office and thanked everyone praying for him and his family, “those prayers are felt” he said. Later that day at the press conference, as he discussed the importance of Easter which we would be celebrating from our homes, he publically said to the press and everyone watching, “I’m a Christian and Easter is important to me!”

#AmericaWorksTogether

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NLT

Yes, what the scientists and statisticians didn’t calculate into their models was the fortitude and predisposition of the American people to pray and love their neighbor more than themselves.

I think they were blown away with the ingenuity, compassion, creativity, and selflessness of the majority of people to pitch in and help each other during a crisis. Especially, caring for those we repeatedly hear are the most vulnerable. Every time someone says, “those most at risk,” I get a lump in my throat and fight back tears because I’m in that group.

I’ve been on the receiving end of kindness, generosity, and love. Here are just a few ways I’ve experienced someone loving their neighbor more than themselves during this pandemic.

#Americans Working Together

1. Our daughter didn’t want us going into grocery stores. She took our grocery lists and went shopping for us at two different stores. Yes, she went to Trader Joe’s for me!!

2. We had been hibernating at home since the end of February and live over an hour away from shopping, so by the time things got serious, protective and sanitizing supplies weren’t available online. A dear friend gave me disinfecting wipes, which are truly like gold. Then the Holy Spirit woke her up at 6:00 am the next morning telling her she needed to protect me more and she gave us two masks and reusable gloves.

#Americans Working Together

3. A Facebook friend saw my picture on FB using a bandanna as a face mask and messaged me that a woman at her church was making face masks. What was my address and she would send us two. They arrived yesterday!

4. A neighbor had extra berries from a local vendor and called to see if we would like some.

5. Another friend and her husband picked up items for us at COSTCO when they went shopping. They took their pickup and also shopped for others in our rural community.

6. My birthday was last week and my hubby called the local restaurant a few days early to order takeout for a special meal. He asked if they could make my favorite entree, which wasn’t on their menu, and they said sorry not this time. But when the owner chef heard it was my birthday, his wife called to say he would order what he needed to make my request. I cried.

When hubby went to pick up our dinner, he saw other friends. They said they takeout once a week to support this restaurant.

7. We’re restricted from being around our grandchildren, so my 11-year-old granddaughter made my favorite chocolate cake and then the grandkids video messaged me to sing Happy Birthday and virtually give me a piece of cake while they enjoyed eating it.

I feel like I’m always on the receiving end of kindness, but then I receive emails and messages from readers telling me that a blog or Facebook post I wrote encouraged them or helped reduce their anxiety.

Then I’m reminded that God gave each of us gifts and when we surrender those gifts back to Him, He can use them where they’re needed most.

The blog that has recently generated the greatest response is Five Powerful Prayers for Peace Amidst Pandemic Fear. Maybe it will bless you too.

I know it would be encouraging to all of us, and especially me, if you shared what you’re doing, or what someone has done for you, during this pandemic.

We’re truly better when #Americaworkstogetherkeepingthefaith!

36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40

Opening picture is at a Samaritan’s Purse Coronavirus Hospital.

April 13, 2020
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What Is God’s Response to ‘Ok Boomer’?

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What Does God Say About #OK Bommer

“Mom, are you a boomer?” my eleven-year old granddaughter asked my daughter.

I have to admit that none of the adults at the dinner table understood the significance of that question and so I naively answered, “No, Grammie and Grampa are boomers.” She seemed satisfied, but I continued to ponder her question. So a few days later, I texted her that boomers were born between 1946-1964. She said “thanks,” but still I wondered the genesis of her question. Something else was going on.

Then I began to see articles degrading boomers almost to the point of using ‘boomer’ as a slang or curse word, and then I REALLY wanted to know about my granddaughter’s interest in ‘boomer.’ So I asked her and she said, “Sometimes when I say something, my friends say, ‘Ok boomer,’ when I’m talking like an old person.” And that’s bad? I thought.

But it turns out it is very bad if an eleven-year old might have the perspective of something her grandmother or grandfather taught her, even if that wisdom came from a 2020 year-old person, Jesus Christ.

Being a Boomer Was Special!

I’m a boomer and I must admit most of my life it’s been a rather prestigious position. We were the largest generation in history at that time, born in the two decades after World War II when the surviving soldiers returned home after defeating the enemy. They were ready to bring normalcy back to life, get jobs, raise a family, and enjoy the American dream and ideals they fought so bravely to defend.

Because boomers represented such a vast number of consumers and voters, we influenced fashion and trends, politics, economics, business, entertainment, religion . . . the culture.

We felt respected and appreciated. And then we weren’t. Like every generation, we’ve aged, and as the “old fogies” before us, we suddenly don’t know anything and no one cares about what we want anymore. We’ve become the generation that younger people facetiously and dismissively respond to with an “Ok Boomer,” while rolling their eyes. Not in an admiring or gotcha’ manner, but you’re an old person with views and values we no longer appreciate. In fact, we’re going to blame all the world’s problems on your generation that you left for us to inherit. You’re out of touch with our problems and we don’t want to hear what you think about it.

Ouch!

Aja Romano wrote in her article “OK boomer” isn’t just about the past. It’s about our apocalyptic future.

“OK boomer is meant to be cutting and dismissive. It suggests that the conversation around the anxieties and concerns of younger generations has become so exhausting and unproductive that the younger generations are collectively over it. OK boomer implies that the older generation misunderstands millennial and Gen Z culture and politics so fundamentally that years of condescension and misrepresentation have led to this pointedly terse rebuttal and rejection. Rather than endlessly defend decisions stemming from deep economic strife, to save money instead of investing in stocks and retirement funds, to buy avocados instead of cereal — teens and younger adults are simply through.”

How Can Christians Bridge the OK Boomer Generation Gaps?

Now that I am old and gray,
    do not abandon me, O God.
Let me proclaim your power to this new generation,
    your mighty miracles to all who come after me. Psalm 71:18 NLT

Where there are differences, Satan will use them to divide.

[Tweet “Where there are differences, Satan will use them to divide. We see that division in politics, religion, and culture but now more than ever, it rears it’s ugly head in generational antagonism. “]

We see that division in politics, religion, and culture but now more than ever, it rears it’s ugly head in generational antagonism. Yes, we can say that’s always existed, but did it in your family. Did you think your grandparents were completely out of touch with the real world or did you respect and admire their wisdom?

I learned to appreciate Scripture from Granny Reed, who always read from her Bible to my cousins and me as we literally sat at her feet. Granny Hazel taught me how to care for my complexion and played games with me when she came to visit. They were a wealth of experience and I looked forward to spending time with them.

I challenge you that #OKBoomer” is not biblical!

[Tweet “God knew that Satan could use our age differences to divide us so God gave us many Scriptures to help bridge these inevitable generation gaps, and He commands us to live by them.”]

God knew that Satan could use our age differences to divide us so God gave us many Scriptures to help bridge these inevitable generation gaps, and He commands us to live by them. 

Generation after generation stands in awe of your work;
each one tells stories of your mighty acts. Psalm 145:4 The Message

_________________________________

Let me share a few excerpts from the chapter “Generation Gaps Are Not In God’s Plan” from my book Mentoring for All Seasons.

Why Do We Have Generation Gaps?

[Tweet “It was never God’s plan to have generation gaps in the church: God commanded one generation to pass down his truths to the next generation.”]

It was never God’s plan to have generation gaps in the church: God commanded one generation to pass down his truths to the next generation. But in most churches today, the gap between generations is so wide the only thing passed between the two is mistrust and misunderstanding—all in the name of Jesus.

I believe the older generation often perpetuates the gap by wanting everything to stay the same—same music, same way of doing things, same church service, same church activities. . . . Many churches relegate the young people to their own groups, and their input—whether in music or new ideas or using their talents and gifts—isn’t welcome in the main sanctuary. Then the church wonders why the youth and young adults are leaving in droves.

If we want to stay relevant in the lives of the next generation, we need to learn how to embrace their style of worship . . . their way of communicating . . . their world. If we want to have an impact in their lives—to help guide them in the ways of righteousness—we need to speak their language, care about the things they care about, and reach out to them in love with a desire to understand what’s important to them.

Mentoring: A Privilege Not a Burden

[Tweet “Do you remember when you were the next generation full of hope and ideas and ready to leave your mark on the world? I do. I also remember feeling misunderstood and unappreciated when sharing thoughts and ideas with older adults”]

Do you remember when you were the next generation full of hope and ideas and ready to leave your mark on the world? I do. I also remember feeling misunderstood and unappreciated when sharing thoughts and ideas with older adults. Yet thirty-six times in the New Living Translation of the Bible, the Lord uses the term “generation to generation.” Many more verses instruct us to pour into those who are coming up behind us in the church and in our homes. It was God’s plan for the continuation of his church throughout the generations.

Believers are to teach and train the next generation. Praise God, over the centuries believers have followed this mandate. You and I are benefactors of the sacrifices of believers who have gone before us. Over the years, followers of God and his Son, Jesus Christ, have felt compelled to ensure the next generation:

  • Has access to and knowledge of the Bible.
  • Knows how to communicate with God through the Holy Spirit and prayer.
  • Receives guidance in leading a godly life.

[Tweet “Sharing with the next generation some of what God and life has taught us is truly an honor and a privilege.”]

Sharing with the next generation some of what God and life has taught us is truly an honor and a privilege. “I will bring honor to your name in every generation. Therefore, the nations will praise you forever and ever.” (Ps. 45:17 NLT)

A Plea from the Younger Generation

[Tweet “I often hear from the older generation that the reason they don’t mentor is because the younger generations aren’t interested in being mentored, but his is a misconception and lie of the enemy.”]

I often hear from the older generation that the reason they don’t mentor is because the younger generations aren’t interested in being mentored, but his is a misconception and lie of the enemy. A young woman named Tracy, [and there were many more like her in Mentoring for All Seasons] pleads, “I beg the older generations to please be the mentor God called you to be—take up your cross and invest in the future. It takes patience, perseverance, and Christianity. The woman you invest in today may turn around and invest in tomorrow’s generation.”

_______________________________

[Tweet “If you’re a boomer like me, let’s continue the trend of being the largest influential generation for God!”]

If you’re a boomer like me, let’s continue the trend of being the largest influential generation for God!

That means we ignore the exasperated #OKBoomer meme and turn it into an eager #OKBoomer share with me what you’ve learned about God. Let’s not be offended by this meme but use it for God’s glory!

If you’re one of the younger generations, seek out a Christian boomer who will share with you how God helped her through the seasons of her life and is eager to bestow some of that God-fueled faith with you.

3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Titus 2:3-5 NLT

Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life and God’s Faithfulness is available signed and personalized on my website or also on Amazon and Kindle.

February 17, 2020
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Grandparents Praying with Purpose

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I hope the you had a blessed Thanksgiving whether you were with friends and family or spending a quiet day yourself reflecting how good God is and how fortunate we are to be His children.

Speaking of children, many of us have grandchildren. Dave and I are grandparents to eleven ranging in age from nine to twenty-one. As part of my morning quiet time, I pray God’s Word for these precious ones. It doesn’t mean they haven’t encountered trials and hardships, but they do each know Jesus as their Savior and I find comfort and confidence that God is watching over each one.

But I’m not fooling myself that in today’s culture there will be many temptations and the evil one is targeting the next generation. Satan does not want us producing more Christians in our families and the family of God.

So I want to introduce to you my dear friend Lillian Penner, Co-prayer director for Christian Grandparenting Network, and her new book The New “Revised and Expanded” Grandparenting with a Purpose.

If you’re a grandparent, you’re going to want a copy of this book. If there are grandparents in your life, this would make a great gift. If you’re a parent you need all the help you can get and what a gift to have your parents praying for your children, their grandchildren.

I asked Lillian to tell you about her new book . . . here is a message from Lillian Penner!

Today, there are over 70 million grandparents in the United States plus many more around the world. Grandparents represent one-third of the population with 1.7 million new grandparents added to the ranks every year in the U.S. Grandparents lead 37% of all U.S. households in this country — that’s 44 million households nationwide. (Google) [email protected]

How GRANDPARENTS CAN IMPACT THE WORLD?

[Tweet “We have reached a time in history when the grandparents must rise as one to cry to God.”]

It is estimated that there are over 30 million Christian grandparents. We have reached a time in history when the grandparents must rise as one to cry to God.  I believe if 30 million Christian Grandparents who believe in the power of prayer and deliberately praying the enemy will be crushed.

[Tweet “Satan is relentless in his aggressive attack to desensitize our children to truth and righteousness. This is a spiritual battle requiring spiritual weapons.”]

Satan is relentless in his aggressive attack to desensitize our children to truth and righteousness. This is a spiritual battle requiring spiritual weapons. Our grandchildren and their parents not only need our support, they need our earnest and united prayers. They need our united prayer, a genuine, unified prayer for our hope and dreams for the next generation to be realized.

Grandparenting with a Purpose: Effective Ways to Pray for Your Grandchildren - Revised & Expanded

The “Revised and Expanded” Grandparenting with a Purpose, Effective Ways to Pray for Your Grandchildren is designed to encourage and equip grandparents to intentionally pray for their grandchildren and their parents.

Since I have had many requests for a study guide to go with the chapters, I have expanded the book with additional chapters and a study guide for each chapter, which you will find useful.

  • I have found there are many hurting estranged grandparents today with heavy hearts, so I am addressing that issue in a chapter. Is your grandparenting painful or a blessing?
  • I include a section looking at a view of the culture our grandchildren and their parents are navigating today.
  • God’s Design for grandparenting plus several additional chapters and Scriptures to Pray for Teens and Scriptures for Grandparents to pray for themselves.

The book retails for $14.99, however, on my website it is available for a discounted price of $15.00, including shipping and handling costs in the U. S. for a limited time.  A bonus of Scriptural Prayer resource will be included with your purchase. The book will be available in EBook format for $3.99 for those who would prefer the EBook format or live outside the U. S. to save on shipping costs.

[Tweet ““Revised and Expanded” Grandparenting with a Purpose, Effective Ways to Pray for Your Grandchildren will show grandparents how to be intentional disciple-makers and prayer warriors to impact the next generation.”]

This book will challenge you and give you resources for this spiritual battle with the enemy. It will show you how to be an intentional disciple-maker and prayer warrior to impact the next generation.

Written by Lillian Penner, Co-prayer director for Christian Grandparenting Network. [email protected]

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

December 2, 2019
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What Are You Doing For Grandparents Day?

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Grandparents Are Uniting in Prayer on Grandparents Day of Prayer

Grandparents Day of Prayer September 8, 2019

Are you wondering when and what is Grandparents Day?

Well, my research shows that it’s actually been a National Holiday for forty-one years!

Congress passed the legislation proclaiming the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents’ Day and, on August 3, 1978, then-President Jimmy Carter signed the proclamation. September was chosen to signify the “autumn” years of life.

[Tweet “The purpose of Grandparents Day, as stated is “to honor grandparents, to give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children’s children, and to help children become aware of the strength, information, and guidance older people can offer.””]

The purpose of the holiday, as stated in the preamble to the statute, is “to honor grandparents, to give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children’s children, and to help children become aware of the strength, information, and guidance older people can offer.”

Wow! That’s almost exactly what God told the generations to do in the Bible.

But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children.— Psalm 103:17

Hear this, you elders;
    listen, all who live in the land.
Has anything like this ever happened in your days
    or in the days of your ancestors?
3 Tell it to your children,
    and let your children tell it to their children,
    and their children to the next generation.— Joel 1:2-3

[Tweet “Even though Grandparents Day is on your calendar, just like Mothers Day and Fathers Day, few families recognize it, or even know about it.”]

Even though you’ll find Grandparents Day is on your calendar, just like Mothers Day and Fathers Day, few families recognize it, or even know about it. Our young Minister of Education at church announced that it must be a real holiday because it’s on the calendar so they’re having a root beer float celebration after service on Grandparents Day September 8. Many of the grandmothers will be at our women’s retreat, but I thought it was so sweet that she planned a celebration for grandparents.

My friend, Lillian Penner is the founder of Grandparenting with Purpose, an organization that encourages grandparents to pray for their grandchildren and invest in their lives. They work hard to bring awareness of Grandparents Day to the public as a reminder of how valuable the older generation’s wisdom and perspective is to the younger generations. So often, I hear that the kids won’t listen or aren’t interested in spending time with their grandparents, but Dave and I haven’t found that to be the case as long as we make an effort to be relevant in our grandchildren’s lives.

And we can pray for them. Lillian has written a sweet book, Grandparenting with a Purpose: Effective Ways to Pray for your Grandchildren. In my quiet time, I pray for our eleven grandchildren. I have their pictures in my devotional and I journal a note to God about what’s happening in their lives. He knows what they need each day.

Last week, I wrote a guest blog, Brave Grandparenting, on Lillian Penner’s Grandparenting with a Purpose website. You might want to stop by and leave a comment and enter the drawing for a signed copy of Everyday Brave.

What are your thoughts on why a day as important as celebrating grandparents and their value to the family never got traction?

PS If you’re wondering why my Monday Morning Blog is coming to you on Tuesday, I was hoping you would all be spending time with family on Labor Day and not reading your email! Maybe you were even with grandparents or grandkids.

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

One more week until the release of Everyday Brave: Living Courageously As a Woman of Faith, but you can pre-order NOW.

Let's Be Everyday Believers

September 3, 2019
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7 Tested Tips for Moms of Teens by Letitia Suk

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Letitia Suk is a guest on the Monday Morning Blog today with some great advice for moms of teens and tweens from her book Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens. This is a delightful and practical guide for grandparents too. As I was reading, I thought about my thirteen-year old granddaughter who was coming with her friend to stay with us for a week. Our tendency is to fall back on our own parenting style with the next generation, but I knew I could learn a few tips, and I did. Leave a comment for a chance to enter the drawing to win this precious book!

My new book Everyday Brave: Living Courageously as a Woman of Faith is now available for preorder on Amazon. Mothering tweens and teens is a courageous and brave endeavor that I know we would all agree we couldn’t do without the help of God. Chapter 7 is “Brave Mothers.” 

7 Tested Tips for Moms of Teens

by Letitia Suk

7 Tested Tips for Moms of Teens

Parents and teens will clash, often! If you are a parent of a teen, you have been on both ends of the clash at some point in your life. Remember?

As much as it feels challenging to get through this roller coaster season of parenting, choose the long view. This current crisis will pass but your relationship with your teen lasts the rest of your life.

[Tweet “One of the primary tasks of parenting teens is to establish a bond of closeness that can be drawn on for the long journey ahead.”]

Your pediatrician might not have mentioned it, butone of the primary tasks of parenting teens is to establish a bond of closeness that can be drawn on for the long journey ahead.

Hard as it is to believe, most of the years spent with our child in our lifetime will be in an adult-adult relationship that will outlast these exciting, fun-filled, and often challenging years.

[Tweet “Most of the years spent with our child in our lifetime will be in an adult-adult relationship”]

Looking for help?

If you need some help today, 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens is a grab and go guide to read along the way. Each short, stand-alone tip provides an immediate opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your teen for both now and for the decades ahead.

Here is a sample of some of the tips you can try right now. 

  1. Keep Texts Friendly.

Chances are your teen prefers texting to most other forms of communication. Choosing to use this tool in a friendly way is a great way to stay in touch. Tell them you love them and are praying for their test. Ask them if they need anything from Walmart or send fun tidbits of information. TM can also be used to ask questions like when will the car be back? Will you be home for dinner? Could you please pick up a gallon of milk?

Decide that you will only use this creative tool for positive thoughts or simple questions. This is not the vehicle to complain (the kitchen is a wreck), criticize (you never leave gas in the car), or accuse (you were out too late last night). Keep it upbeat and they’ll want to keep opening their inbox.

  1. Ditch the Dread.

“Wait till they’re teenagers!” was the foreboding warning that awaited me on almost every turn of the stroller. “Wait till they start mouthing off” or “Wait till they get to high school” or “Wait till they get their driver’s license” have been part of the mom to mom network from the playground to the boardroom. It was never clear what the wait was for, it didn’t have the same hopeful note as waiting to go on vacation.

[Tweet “Instead of expecting the worst, start the day with a hope and a prayer that your teen is going to be OK.”]

            Instead of expecting the worst, start the day with a hope and a prayer that your teen is going to be OK.

Talk back to your inner critic and tell her you’re doing just fine as a mom. Don’t let moments of doubt turn into dread-fests. Be the voice of the yay-sayer instead of the naysayer to other moms. Expect the best and wait for it to come!

  1. Wave the White Flag.

If you are the parent of a teen, you have engaged in some conflict. In fact, you might have instigated it or inflamed it. It is never too late to wave the white flag and start a round of peace talks in your family. Someone needs to step up and stop yelling, door   slamming, or silent treatment. Might as well be you!

Calling for peace is not glossing over incidents but acknowledging your part in the current conflict. “I was angry, and I insulted your character, I’m sorry.” “I was tired, and I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair.” Asking for forgiveness is also a huge step but necessary to move on.

[Tweet “Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever.”]

Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever.

What your teen sees from you in the way of how to do resolution will shape their future interactions as well.

4. Leave on a positive note.

When your teen leaves the house for an outing with friends, make a point to say have a good time, you look great, I love you.

[Tweet “The last few minutes of your interaction with your teen can set the tone for the rest of the evening.”]

The last few minutes of your interaction with your teen can set the tone for the rest of the evening.

If your teen leaves the house feeling good about you and about themselves, they will carry those positive feelings with them. Likewise, if they leave home angry, feeling misunderstood, or belittled, those feelings may shape their evening. If you really want to make a lasting impression, occasionally slip a little unasked-for cash!

  1. Avoid Micro-Managing Your Teen’s Faith.

It has been said that “God has no grandchildren” meaning we each have our own faith experience separate from our parents. In our spiritually aware culture, most teens are searching for something/someone to believe in. Your teen’s faith journey might parallel yours, lag behind, or leap ahead. Most likely, it will not be identical just as your faith experience is not the same as your parents.

[Tweet “Your role as a parent is to provide spiritual training for your children, but not to force their faith development.”]

            Your role as a parent is to provide spiritual training but not to force their faith development.

In these teen years, you can nurture your teen’s faith by your prayers, your example, your encouragement, and trust God to work out the big picture. Keep in mind, his timing is rarely the same as ours.

  1. Differentiate Between Rules and Policies.

Try less rules, more policies. A policy has flex to it, a rule is fixed. Use policies for the minors of life such as room cleaning, late phone calls, attendance at family events, established study times, etc. A policy can be changed by request, “I need to talk to Sara tonight, but she won’t be home till 10:30. Can I call her later?” You: “OK, thanks for asking.” Exception given, policy still in place.

Rules, however, cover the majors and are not flexible. No point in your teen asking if they can have a party when you’re out of town. Ditto, there won’t be an exception as to whether they can drink and drive or have a sleepover with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Policies can be created on the spot and revised often. Keep the actual rules very few and very clear.

Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion. 

[Tweet “Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion in children.”]

  1. Bless their Friends, Even the Ones You Don’t Like.

You won’t like all your teens’ friends. Usually announcing that you don’t like a friend quickly elevates this person into sainthood in your teen’s life. The secret is not to let your feelings be known unless your teen is in danger or serious risk from a “friend.”

Find something, anything to comment on positively about the friend. “I like the way ____    is passionate about causes, knows a lot about music, isn’t afraid to be different.” then you might say something casually like, “I am a little concerned about his/her ____(driving?, ditching school? lying? poor relationship with parents, etc.” (choose only one) then follow with, “What do you think about that?” Listen and don’t comment. Very hard tactic to follow but so worth it. Wait it out and see if your impression was wrong or your teen recognizes it’s not a healthy relationship. It almost always happens.

Interested in reading more?

Ninety-two more tips are available in 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens (Ellie Claire/Hachette, 2019.) Beautifully designed with inspirational quotes on motherhood interspersed throughout, this book makes an excellent gift for yourself or a friend.

Which of these tips did you need today? 

Have you used any of these tips successfully?

Please leave a comment here for a chance to win a free sign copy of 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens.

About the Author:

7 tested Tips for Moms of Teens

Letitia Suk invites women to chase the intentional life. She is the author of 100 Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens, Getaway with God: The Everywoman’s Guide to Personal Retreat & Rhythms of Renewal. Letitia’s Amazon page

She and her husband, Tom, live in the Chicago area and are parents of four grown children. Letitia’s Website

August 5, 2019
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Words Matter

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Words Matter When You're Using Substitutes for Profanity

“Dude!” My thirteen-year-old granddaughter said to me. It caught me off guard and then we both laughed. It’s a word she and her peers use talking to each other. I think she says it so often, that it didn’t even connect she was talking to Grammie. I took it as a compliment that she considered me “one of the girls.”

But there are other words that I do take issue with and I take the time to explain to all the kids why they’re not acceptable or appropriate. The culture has substituted commonly used words for vulgar words, and when you look up the definitions, you learn that they have the same profane meaning.

I don’t want my grandsons and granddaughters to become accustomed to using these substitute profanity words, usually said in anger towards someone else or something they’ve done themselves that makes them mad. Or other times, they’re using what I call “lazy language” instead of expressing their feelings. And it’s not just kids. Christian adults do it too.

[Tweet “Nowhere in the Bible will you see God approving of us using worldly language. “]

Nowhere in the Bible will you see God approving of us using “worldly” language. In fact, he says we’re supposed to be in the world, but not of the world. (John 17:15-17) He wants us to be examples of how to deal with frustration or anger without resorting to profanity or words that mean the same thing.

You may think I’m over the top on this, but I don’t think living a pure and righteous life for the world to see—and teaching the next generation to do likewise—is going too far. God tells us to, “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Tim. 2:22).

Jesus warns, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.'” (Matt. 12:34). So whatever is in our heart, is what comes out of our mouth. If you hear yourself, or your kids, saying some of the following words, do a heart check. What caused the outburst? Why are you that angry? Why have the world’s euphemisms slipped into your . . . or their . . . vocabulary?

There will be some who will say that using these words are the only way to reach the next generation, and to that I would say . . . that’s a rationalization directly from Satan, not from God. Or Satan convinces you that if you don’t talk trash, kids will not think you’re relevant. Try and find one example of the Bible making that point. Instead, it says:

“But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.” Matthew 18:6-7 (NLT)

When Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, Jesus didn’t start cursing at him. Jesus used the Sword of the Spirit, The Word of God.

So I know you’ll be surprised to see some of these words in a blog from me, but it is disturbing how often we hear them causally used, even by Christians. I’m going to use xxx for the vile word. But sadly, I know like me, your mind will fill in the word.

I’ve looked up these definitions of commonly used offensive euphemisms or phrases.

For starters this is what euphemism means:

noun 
a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.
  1. “friggin’,” “frickin’,” or “freakin’”

“Frickin’ is a minced oath, because it has no real meaning of its own but is used because of its sound similarity with “fxxxing.” In other words, “fxxxing” has to be common before anyone would know what you were saying when you say “fricking.”

It was a vulgar word, not used in polite society, but not originally a swear word as such. Nowadays “frigging” is used as a euphemism for “fxxxing,” both the act and the word. It is a swear word but not an extreme one.”

I’m sorry, but there is no degree of swearing. Profanity is profanity. You notice how the definition says it was considered a vulgar word in the past but not now. The culture has normalized it, as well as the “F” word it replaces, and you hear these words used all the time.

  1. “Crap”—is usually said in anger or frustration. Or to describe something undesirable. When you look at the definitions below, it’s clear this has become a more “acceptable” word for another “four-letter” word. It could also mean describing clutter or useless items. Why not just say clutter or junk?

noun

  1. something of extremely poor quality
  2. excrement

verb: defecate.

Pretty disgusting!

Blasphemy 
noun
  1. “OMG”—This stands for “Oh my God” and is usually used as an exclamation not in reverence. It’s taking the Lord’s name in vain, unless used to praise the Lord. Like Satan did with Eve, he whispers in your ear, “Did God really say you shouldn’t say this?” Actually, yes, He did. Ex 20:7 “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.”
  2. “Jesus!” Or “Jesus Christ!” Yes our precious Lord and Savior’s name when said in frustration, anger, or to exclaim about something unbelievable, not respectful, is profane blasphemy. Recently, Tim Tebow a vocal Christian athlete displayed an amazing golf swing and someone yelled, “Jesus!” Tebow’s quick response, “loves you.”
    [Tweet “Tim Tebow a vocal Christian hit an amazing golf swing and someone yelled, “Jesus!” Tebow’s quick response, “loves you.””]

That’s exactly what we all want to become proficient at doing. Coming up with a response that’s not offensive or scolding, but let’s the other person know in a kind way it wasn’t appropriate.

As for our children and grandchildren, we want to remind them of Proverbs 8:8, “All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse.” Like every area of raising children, train them in the way they should talk.

[Tweet “Like every area of raising children, train them in the way they should talk.”]

These are just a few words that matter and I’m sure you could come up with more.

What other word do you hear that are inappropriate for Christians?

Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight,
    Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Ps 19:14

You might also want to read my blog “Oh Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear.”

If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

February 25, 2019
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