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Love Your Body—Break the Food Strongholds

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For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Fitting into one leg of old jeans

Last month, in the Love Your Body series, we talked about Weight Loss is Not the Goal. If you haven’t read that blog post yet, you might want to start there. That post points out that anything but a well-balanced, portion-controlled eating pattern for life, will only be a short-lived weight loss. The gimmicks and enticements to get you to lose weight with a “program” or “product” will never work over a lifetime. You become a discouraged victim of diet failures instead of celebrating victorious success.

[Tweet “The only way to maintain a healthy body weight is learning how God designed your body to sustain with natural wholesome food He created for us to eat.”]

The only way to maintain a healthy body weight is learning how God designed your body to be sustained with natural wholesome food He created for us to eat.

We need God to help us achieve and maintain a healthy weight, just like we go to Him in every area of our lives. Why would we think He doesn’t care about our health when He created us?

[Tweet “Abusing our bodies with anything—drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and yes, food—is a sin against God.”]

Abusing our bodies with anything—drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and yes, food—is a sin against God. We make food, or the quick-fix diet plan, our god, our idol when we’re … lonely, sad, depressed, emotional, happy, frustrated, needing comfort, worried, bored, tired, … you know the drill.

In last month’s Love Your Body post, I mentioned how I often observe friends posting pictures of their weight loss on Facebook. Every time I see one of these pictures, I ask my friend how she/he lost the weight. Then my next question: How are you going to maintain your weight loss? If they’ve done anything besides eating a balanced diet, cutting back on portions and empty calories, and exercising, I know they’ll struggle to maintain their weight loss. They’ve only altered their eating habits for the duration and directives of the “diet” or “program” or “regime,” and they have no tools to help them maintain their weight after they eventually go off the diet, program, or regime and start adding foods back in that they like or missed….or worse yet, return to their old eating habits.

So when I saw the before and after pictures (in this post) of my author/speaker friend, Debbie Dittrich, on Facebook, I asked Debbie, “What are you doing and what’s the maintenance plan? Debbie shared with me how she lost the weight, but admitted she wasn’t sure how she was going to maintain this weight loss for a lifetime, and asked for my help.

With hubby before weight loss ...

Debbie with hubby before weight loss …

Debbie gave me permission to share her story, and in November, I’ll share the maintenance plan I suggested that would work for anyone wanting to stay at a healthy weight for life. But remember, I don’t recommend going on any diet or program that requires buying products, eliminating food groups or meals, or deviates from eating from the five food groups. And BTW, sugar is not a food group, but grains and dairy are and they carry a wallop of vitamins and mineral so never eliminate them. You may need to modify the type you eat for allergy reasons, but you will experience nutrient deficiencies if you exclude them entirely.

 

Debbie and hubby after weight loss. He lost weight too!

I know many will relate to Debbie Dittrich’s story as told by her! I’ll make comments at the end:

Janet, I was desperate to be free. I’ve been obese for 30 years, trapped in gluttony, sin, shame, and hopelessness. I believe mine was an addiction, and like any addiction, a stronghold of sin. I was at the end of my rope last November and had never felt worse. I’d had three surgeries within five months and was in constant pain. I could hardly move or walk. I cried out to God for deliverance and He reminded me of an email from my granddaughter the year before about a group for food addicts.

I looked at it and went that night! Food addicts is a 12-step program based on AA. I needed the balanced food plan with no sugar. I went to three meetings a week, made three outreach calls a day to other members, and worked my program. I thank God for it, but realized after six months, I needed to leave to continue with the Lord as my guide. I saw many people were as addicted to the plan as they were to food!

[Tweet “Many people were as addicted to the food plan as they were to food!”]

I’ve still been successful. Without sugar, I have zero cravings. Sugar is SO addictive! ALL my constant aches and pains are gone now. I had NO idea what havoc sugar was creating. I still have some pain from degenerative arthritis, but the difference is night and day! And perhaps my amazing energy and health explains why sticking to this food plan isn’t a problem for me.

[Tweet ” I sought food first when I felt any emotion or exhaustion, and God second.”]

Food is now just fuel, not entertainment! Honestly, food was my god. I sought food first when I felt any emotion or exhaustion, and God second. I had no idea I was doing that.

God is my One true God and I seek Him first now! I probably have 15 to 20 more pounds to go. But I am honestly looking for a good maintenance plan that will be doable for the REST OF MY LIFE! I cannot live the way I did before ever again.

This was the first time in my life that I approached weight loss as something I had to do forever and not just as a quick fix to lose weight.

Overeating is a Spiritual Battle

[Tweet “I now realize my problem was a heart issue more than a diet issue.”]

I knew how to do every single diet imaginable! I now realize my problem was a heart issue more than a diet issue. I needed a lasting heart change that only the Spirit of God can bring and maintain. I pray daily to surrender my eating to Him forever.

[Tweet “Every pound of weight puts about 6 to 8 pounds of pressure on your knees.”]

I was so blind. People would try to help me, and I would go on diets and lose enough to make me look better, but then I would quit. I constantly cried out to God. I had no quality of life. Everything was hard. My knees are bad and every step hurt. Every pound of weight puts about 6 to 8 pounds of pressure on your knees. No wonder they hurt! About 500 pounds of pressure are gone now! My cholesterol went from 210 to 165. That was in 2 months. It’s probably less now.

I wake up ready for life and ready to go; whereas before, it took me hours to wake up from my food coma. It’s such a huge spiritual issue. Overeating is a tool of the enemy to defeat us and deceive us daily … and we let him!

[Tweet “Overeating is a tool of the enemy to defeat us and deceive us daily … and we let him!”]

I was so helpless and hopeless.

I knew I did not need another diet; I needed deliverance! God used a food plan, not a diet, to deliver me. It took months, but God gave grace and began to show me what the true spiritual issues were.

For me, I realized fear controlled me and I used food to medicate and soothe myself. But overeating only made my fear worse! I’ve learned to surrender daily to Him, trusting Him, believing that He has given me “everything I need for life and godliness.”

[Tweet “Many of us with this “little issue” have no idea how we’re losing a huge spiritual battle every day and Satan is thrilled.”]

This is a battle zone, as you know. Many of us with this “little issue” have no idea how we’re losing a huge spiritual battle every day and Satan is thrilled. By fighting this battle and dying to self, I am clinging to Jesus through His Spirit.

By walking in self-control, I’m proclaiming the Gospel! I’m shouting, with no words, that Jesus is enough, not only for eternal life, but also for daily life. Not just to be thin, but to be free to love and serve Him by loving and serving others. Thin is just a welcome benefit. When I’m absorbed and obsessed with food, I have no room for God, much less others.

Well, I could talk forever about this! I would love to get your input for a good maintenance plan.
Thanks for all you do.
In Him,
Debbie

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

Food Is Not the Enemy

[Tweet “Food Is Not the Enemy”]

I am NOT promoting Food Addicts for several reasons:

1. Overeating isn’t an addiction, it’s idolatry: food plays too important a role in an overweight person’s life.

2. Addictions are usually to something that is bad for us and the solution is to abstain and avoid. God made our bodies to require food so we can’t abstain or avoid food.

3. Food Addicts doesn’t include God, as Debbie wisely realized is essential to a lasting heart and health change.

However, the Food Addicts food plan is fairly balanced, and it’s natural food with reduced daily calories, portion control, and modifying eating habits, but as Debbie pointed out, you can become “addicted to the diet plan.” Debbie did mention she and some of the other members lost hair and that could be due to insufficient calories to provide essential vitamins and minerals or varying fruits and veggies.

[Tweet “Crash diets are NEVER healthy diets and can do long-term damage.”]

Food isn’t the enemy, Satan is. The only way to be free of Satan’s overeating stronghold is to put food in its proper place in our life as fuel and eat sensible proportions of a well-balanced diet with limited sugar and no processed foods. That’s a food plan you can stay on for life.

I wrote a Bible study for First Place 4 Health because they address the physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental aspects of eating and offer group accountability, menus and recipes for eating a balanced diet and suggestions for exercise programs. But most importantly their health program centers around God: “As we learn to keep Christ first in our lives, we will find that He is the One who satisfies our hunger and our every need.” When my churches Women’s Group did the study I wrote, God’s Best for Your Life, without even focusing on the food plan, one of the ladies lost 15 pounds by simply learning to love her body like God loves it.

In November, I’ll share with you the maintenance tips I gave to Debbie for how to eat and stay fit for a lifetime.

Did you identify with Debbie’s testimony? Did you realize overeating is a spiritual battle?

Do you have questions for Debbie? Ask them here and she’ll answer.

Debbie dec 14Debbie july 6

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Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

September 28, 2015
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Would Anyone Know You’re a Christian?

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Grampa Dave giving grandson, Brandon, a golf lesson!

Grampa Dave giving grandson, Brandon, a golf lesson!

“Darn it!” my husband Dave muttered after hitting his golf ball into the woods.

He was playing golf in a scramble game with a group of men he’d never met before.

“Is that all you have to say?” asked one of the men.

“Yes, that’s it,” said hubby.

Later in the game, Dave made a birdie putt that earned his team a 3rd place finish. The team captain was elated, “Somebody buy that man a beer!”

Hubby, “Thanks, I don’t drink, but a Diet Coke would be great.”

A man in the group,  “Are you LDS?”

Hubby, “No, I go to the Community Church.”

When my husband relayed these conversations to me, God put several thoughts on my mind:

  1. My husband’s actions were a great witness on the golf course.
  2. But why did they assume that because he didn’t swear or drink that he was LDS? Why didn’t they ask if he was a Christian?

[Tweet “why did they assume that because he didn’t swear or drink that he was LDS?”]

Actions Speak Louder Than Our Words, or in this Case, Lack of Words

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

Saved to follow ChristI’ve heard many Christians justify their actions and words by saying they can reach more people for Christ if they “fit in,” but you’ll never find that practice supported in the Bible. Instead, the Bible instructs us to put off the old way of life and put on the new. It also tells us that we’ll be in the world, but we’re not to conform or “fit in” to the world.

18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Ephesians 4:18-25

In last week’s blog post, How to Mentor in a World Forsaking God, I mentioned that corrupt tax collectors, Zacchaeus and Matthew, each invited Jesus to their home and He went. Many people like to use these two scenarios to justify their own actions in participating in worldly activities. It’s true, Jesus did receive criticism for hanging out with sinners, but He had a mission and a purpose. He didn’t go to their homes to party with them and participate in their sins and corruption … he wasn’t going to cheat people out of their money like these two men or celebrate and condone their deception with a drink and a toast.

Zacchaeus and Matthew had invited friends to their houses and Jesus had a readymade audience. He went there to tell them about the Gospel and how they could turn from their wicked ways and sins, ask for forgiveness, and become new men in Christ. He went into their world to tell them about His world–to make them His followers, not to follow them! A caveat many people miss.

[Tweet “Jesus went into their world to tell them about His world–to make them His followers, not to follow them! “]

 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. 3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

5 When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

7 All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:1-10

As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:9-13

The Great Commission, Matthew 28:16-20, commands us to go to those who don’t know Christ, but our mission is to share Jesus with them, not hide our faith.

Daily Walk Devotional, August 4, 2015, Suggests an Enlightening Exercise:

Think back over the last seven days and count the number of people you have talked to: family members, coworkers, classmates, friends, neighbors, service people, store clerks [golfers or other sports participants]. Don’t forget those you communicated with by phone or e-mail, or over the back fence.

Now subtract the number of those who are already Christians. How many are left—5, 10, 20, or more? That represents the number of opportunities you have each week to offer hope, encouragement, and a word of witness to a lost world.

We Should Never “Fit In,” There Should be Something Different About Us!

[Tweet “We Should Never “Fit In,” There Should be Something Different About Us!”]

Set yourself apart. You weren't made to fit in. You were born to stand out!

“Set yourself apart. You weren’t made to fit in. You were born to stand out!” Jim Caviezel

Jim Caviezel is the actor who portrayed Jesus in Passion of the Christ. As I was writing this blog post, the Lord got my attention on Facebook with a picture of Jim in an article that talked about his Pro-life commitment and adopting two Chinese children with brain tumors. But as I read further, I came across a video of Pastor Dave Cooper interviewing Jim at Rock Church in San Diego. As I listened to the interview, Jim said exactly what I had already written here in this blog! In the heading above, I had used the same words he uses in saying that Christians should never “fit in.” I would encourage you to watch the entire powerful interview. Here are several quotes from Jim Caviezel, a follower of Jesus:

“We all have a choice. Freedom exits not to do what you like, but to do what you ought.”

“God doesn’t send anyone to hell; they choose hell.”

[Tweet “Many Christians want to be a little bit pagan to fit in.”]

“Many Christians want to be a little bit pagan to fit in. They don’t want to be Holy”.

“You have to take Jesus with you in your life every day. He’s part of you. People need to see God in you. They’ll want what you have.”

“When you live in holiness, when you really try to stop sinning, you become braver. You become more courageous, you become a man of your word. You become a man of conviction that you’re not willing to sell out and you’re really a true knight in shining armour.” [From another related article]

How Do We Take Jesus with Us?

  • When others are laughing at dirty jokes, we don’t laugh and change the subject.
  • When others are cussing or taking the name of the Lord in vain, we don’t. We might respectfully say, “Hey, that’s my Father [or God or Jesus] you’re talking about there. Is He yours too?”
  • When others are getting drunk, we don’t. We sip on a nonalcoholic beverage.
  • When offered a drink, and we don’t drink, we say, “No thank you. I don’t drink, but I’d love a glass of water.”
  • When someone asks us to do something we know isn’t right, i.e. take drugs, watch a movie full of sex and bad language, cheat, hang out with the wrong crowd … we refuse and try to get them to not do it also.
  • When others accept something we don’t accept—abortion, gay marriage, couples living together—we don’t go along with the conversation, which insinuates we agree with them. We kindly let them know we’re not in agreement and why.

Silence conveys confirmation.

We don’t give in on the little things or the big things.

12 Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, with integrity and godly sincerity. We have done so, relying not on worldly wisdom but on God’s grace. 2 Corinthians 1:12

Why Did They Ask My Husband If He Was LDS?

The short answer to that might be because we live in a heavily populated Mormon area. But the long answer is that many Christians have let the world influence them instead of them influencing the world. Christians don’t stand out from the crowd anymore. They should, but they don’t.

Christians differ with Mormons on theology, but the one thing you can’t differ with is that you don’t see Mormons drinking, swearing, or telling dirty jokes, and they make their family a priority. Maybe you’ve see some who differ from this, but I live amongst them and I haven’t seen it yet. They are kind and generous, and I don’t think they would ever be mistaken for being “worldly” or trying to “fit in.”

So what’s wrong with Christians? We know the Truth. We know that Jesus is the son of God, He went to the cross to save us from our sins, and Jesus is the ONLY way to eternal life with Him. It’s a personal decision no one can make for us, and no amount of works or being good will save us. But familiarity can lead to complacency. We’re bombarded by tolerance to sin today, even the legalization of sin by our government.

Christians can become desensitized to sin around us and in our own spiritual life.

[Tweet “Christians become desensitized to sin around us and in our own spiritual life.”]

Desensitization: a process by which a patient with allergies receives injections containing an increasing amount of the substance to which that patient is allergic. As a result, the body in time becomes accustomed to the foreign substance and is no longer irritated by it.

Because Christians rely so heavily on grace, it’s easy to become complacent and tolerant of sin in the world and in our own life, despite the apostle Paul’s warning in Romans 6:1-2: “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

We’ve seen in the world, and even in some Christians lives and churches, sins once considered unthinkable are first tolerated, then condoned, and ultimately openly endorsed. Instead of the Christian faith influencing the world to turn from their sins and wicked ways, many Christians have let the world influence them to accept and condone some sins.

For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 1 John 2:16

Those men on the golf course knew from my husband’s actions and words that he was a man of faith and they respected him. He can still play the game of golf and be in the “world,” without compromising his beliefs, faith, or conservative standards. And guess what, they still want to play golf with him; he still “fits in” the golf world even though he doesn’t swear or drink with them and they now know he’s a Christian. What a mission field he has.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. Romans 12:1-3 

What ways do you see Christians trying to “fit in” with the world?

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August 24, 2015
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How to Have a Date with Jesus

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FullSizeRender-1 (2)Be My Valentine!

I know I don’t have to remind you that this Saturday is Valentine’s Day! A day we set aside for showing that special someone how much they mean to us. It can also be a difficult time for someone who doesn’t have an object of his or her affection to dote on or be the recipient of doting … but it doesn’t need to be a sad day for those who know Jesus as their First Love!

[Tweet “Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a sad day for those who know Jesus as their First Love!”]

My First Prayer Garden

[Tweet “My husband was not first in my love life, Jesus was.”]

 Almost twenty years ago, the revelation hit me that even though I was happily married after being single for 17 years, my husband was not first in my love life, Jesus was. And shouldn’t I approach my special time with Jesus each day with the same attitude I would lavish on my earthly love, Dave. So I set about finding a special place to spend with my First Love every day and I called it my prayer garden. At this time, we were living in sunny Southern California so I could have my quiet time outside almost every day. I’ll share with you in a moment how I’ve carried on this date with Jesus in my new home of Idaho. Here is the story that I wrote in 2001 of how I initially created the special “date” atmosphere in California.

[Tweet “I set about finding a special place to spend with my First Love every day “]

Thinking of Jesus as the lover of my soul and the One I love above all others, gave me the idea of creating a romantic atmosphere for my daily “Quiet Time” with Jesus. It needed all the touches of a special date. First, it must be quiet and free of interruptions, so that meant outside. Since my backyard is all cement, I arranged colorful potted plants in a shaded alcove of the patio and hung a humming bird feeder. I placed a chair for Jesus and a chair for me with a small table in the center for a romantic fragrant candle. I later added wind chimes, and my son-in-law made a waterfall. Walla I had a Prayer Garden.

 

My Prayer Garden

My Prayer Garden

My Date Bag with Jesus is always Packed

[Tweet “My Date Bag with Jesus is always packed”]

Then I pack a ‘date bag’ with my Bible, a journal, devotional, highlighters, pens, Post-it notes, current Bible Study, and oh yes, a lighter for the candle. One trip back into the house for something I forgot could be a major distraction. prayer garden 1

My “Date Bag” with Jesus

First thing every morning, I grab my cup of coffee, my date bag, a blanket or sweater if it is chilly, and head out for my date with Jesus in our Prayer Garden. Here is a major key to intimate time with my First Love—I shut the door to ALL interruptions. The answering machine gets the phone, and the family knows I am having my Jesus date when the Do Not Disturb sign is out.

When our date is finished, I repack my date bag and put it back in the same spot every time by the patio door so it is ready for tomorrow’s big date. If the weather is not good, Jesus and I curl up together on the couch, and I play soft instrumental worship music in the background.

[Tweet “To keep romance exciting, it’s good to vary the activities on dates”]

To keep romance exciting, it’s good to vary the activities on dates, so I constantly add freshness to my Quiet Time with variety. Each Christmas, I pick out a new devotional for the coming year. I select one with an area for journaling love letters to the Lord. I start my Quiet Time date by praying the armor of God from Ephesians 6:10-18 and would never think of going into my day without this spiritual protection. I alternate working on my small group Bible studies or one I am doing for fun. Some years I read completely through the Bible, and other times, I leisurely enjoy the Scriptures.

[Tweet “I sit back close my eyes and linger in conversational prayer, letting my First Love talk to me.”]

At the end of our date, I sit back close my eyes and linger in conversational prayer, letting my First Love talk to me. He always whispers words of love and endearment as He reveals His plans, visions, and goals for us. Often, there are answers to prayers and questions, and many times, we just share a sweet silence. Like any wonderful date, I hate for it to end, but I know my First Love will be waiting eagerly for our special date tomorrow.

Idaho Quiet Times

Now that we live in Idaho with its four seasons, my Quiet Time locations change with the season: when the weather is nice, I’m out on the deck and when it’s snowing or cold I have a quiet time area right outside my office with a beautiful view out the window. I still have my Quiet Time bag packed and ready to go depending on where I’m having my date with Jesus. It’s my most favorite part of the day!

View from deck quiet times.

View from deck quiet times.

Indoors Quiet Time

Indoors Quiet Time

 

 

View from Indoor Quiet Time!Indoor Quiet Time View

[Tweet “Tell me about your dates with Jesus. “]

How about you? Tell me about your dates with Jesus. Leave a comment below, or if you receive my blogs by email click and leave a comment.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here is a poem I wrote about my California Prayer Garden. Enjoy!

OUR PRAYER GARDEN

You wanted to meet me early in the morning

          In a place that was special to just you and me.

My heart was willing, and I had such a yearning

          To talk and be in your presence daily.


I began to arise just after the sun came up,

          And searched for a place where we could meet.

It had to be quiet where no one would interrupt,

          For the time that we shared would be so sweet.

 

I moved from room to room,

          As I tried to find the aura,

For you and me to just commune

          Every day at the same hour.

 

As we began to spend our time,

          I felt you nudging as I would pray:

“Our get-togethers need fresh air and sunshine.

          Let’s be amongst the beauty of the day.”

 

Of course, it was there all along.

          The table, the patio, the view–

I had all the makings for a Prayer Garden,

          But flowers were sadly very few.

 

A “green thumb” I have never been,

          But I knew this was the spot for us.

And it would not be a Prayer Garden,

          Without the ferns, oleanders and hibiscus.

 

A shopping trip to the nursery was fun,

          Even though I didn’t know what to buy.

Some flowers wanted shade and others liked sun,

          So I just bought what caught my eye.

 

Soon my garden was worthy of comment.

          The flower beds were colorful and in full blossom,

And the array of potted plants carpeted the cement.

          The transformation was truly awesome.

 

One final touch called out to me,

          Wind chimes to catch Your breath in the breeze.

A hummingbird feeder for quiet company,

          In the place where we will meet when ‘er You please.

Jesus, I know now why you sought a garden

          When you went to pray alone that night.

Amongst Your creation God’s presence is sovereign,              

          You just know God’s plans will turn out right.

Janet Thompson 7/17/96

 

February 9, 2015
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Expecting the Unexpected at Christmas

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Our guest post is from author/speaker Julie Sanders. Julie and I are Mentor Moms on The MOM Initiative team, and today Julie talks about the unexpected happenings that each Christmas brings to all of us, starting with Mary, the mother of Jesus. In my Bible study Face-to-Face with Elizabeth and Mary, I talk about how Elizabeth, who was expectant with John the Baptist, mentored Mary through those first three months after her visit from the angel Gabriel telling her she would be the mother of Jesus.

I also know how difficult this season can be for women with an expectation of being mothers this Christmas season. In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?, my daughter Kim describes the worse Christmas of her life when all three of her siblings had children and she was still struggling with infertility. She had plans and expectations of being a mother that Christmas, but her arms were empty. Little did she know that the New Year would bring her two babies within nine months!

If you’re going to be around friends or family who are struggling with infertility and worried you might say the wrong thing or don’t know what to say, the blog post I wrote during National Infertility week will help you: “Hug an Infertile Couple This Week.”

If you’re the infertile couple, dreading the holidays, the post 10 Ways to Survive the Holidays When You’re Infertile is for you.

“Mary” by Julie Sanders

Every heart is Expectant 400-1

Her betrothal was still fresh when her expectations dissolved in the light of the angel’s arrival. To be old enough to be promised was to be mature enough to bear a child. Before Mary even had time to adjust to changes in her own body or warm up to the name “Joseph,” everything she anticipated fell away. There would be no joyous gathering of girlhood friends, envious of her new status. None of the other girls wanted to swell with a child before uniting with a husband.

[Tweet “When what we expect falls apart, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. “]

When what we expect falls apart, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. At the first sign of a change, Mary was troubled and frightened. She had questions. Before she had time to learn the physical ways of womanhood or enjoy intimacy with a man, her body would be taken over for purposes bigger than she could conceive.

“And the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. ‘”(Luke 1:30)

No experience has the power to stir a woman’s hopes like that of becoming a mother. Whether she enters in through adoption, infertility, or traditional pregnancy, a mother learns to sacrifice her expectations for the gift of raising a child. Instead of being paralyzed by the sudden uncertainty motherhood brings, confidence can be found in knowing, “There will never be a time when our children are out of God’s sight or apart from His presence,” (from EXPECTANT, Calling the Shots). Every journey is unique, but every heart is expectant.

[Tweet “No one anticipates interruptions like job loss or a life lost. “]

Most of us have plans for this Christmas season. No one anticipates interruptions like job loss or a life lost. Such unexpected events never appear on our wish list. We rarely address the severity of suffering in our Advent readings. But in the erasing of our expectations and the dissolving of our decisions comes God’s opportunities to display His grand plan. He takes our hand, leading us to unwelcoming inns, simple stable accommodations, and to exile in Egypt. Our Father lets us glimpse the greater glory found when life encircles the Prince of Peace.

[Tweet “Motherhood has a way of causing our expectations to fall away”]

Motherhood has a way of causing our expectations to fall away. From the moment young Mary received her angelic message, nothing unfolded as she imagined, but she found the greater glory in God’s greater plan. “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19)

Let’s agree that this Christmas will probably not be according to our plans–hold loosely to your expectations. Let’s look for God’s greater glory with hearts that are expectant.

Father God,

I want to treasure Your actions in my life. I want to glimpse the glory of being part of Your story. Help me to hold to my expectations loosely and to welcome your plans for me.

 Cropped Courtyard

 

Julie lives where tea is sweet and grits are cheesy. She and her husband of 25 years have two nearly grown kids. EXPECTANT: 40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms was born when God brought a group of young couples into their lives, just as they began to long to grow their families. Julie loves to teach God’s word to women in her hometown and across the globe; she is passionate about fighting human trafficking and helping women of all tribes and tongues find God’s peace for life. Check out Julie’s blog home Come Have a Peace  (www.juliesanders.org) and Marriage Mondays to find reasons for peace and information about her ministry.

Expectant_FlatforeBooks-1

EXPECTANT is available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Follow Julie at:

Facebook: with One Minute4MOM

Twitter: @JulieSanders_

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December 15, 2014
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Celebrate CHRISTmas with a Birthday Party for Jesus!

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Christmas tree 2013

Our Christmas Tree

I posted the above picture on my Facebook timeline and received many questions about the Birthday Bag for Jesus in front of the Christmas tree. At our house, that Birthday Bag is a reminder that we are celebrating the birthday of Jesus.

[Tweet “Christmas is Jesus’ Birthday! Celebrate”]

A Christmas Party with Purpose

[Tweet “Have a Purpose for Your Christmas Party “]

The tradition of celebrating Jesus’ birthday at Christmas started early in our marriage. Since our anniversary is December 19th (22 years this year!), it’s already a packed month for us, but we knew the Lord was prompting us to throw Jesus a party, and so we did. The first year, we invited a few family and friends and had the kids attending act out the manger scene which we set up in our backyard (you can do that in Southern California in December LOL). We had a birthday cake with candles and gave everyone a party favor that represented the true meaning of Christmas.

The highlight of the party was the Birthday Bag. We made “birthday” cards on the computer and gave everyone a card as they came through the front door. The heading on the card had the date, Happy Birthday Jesus, and “This year I give Jesus….” They were advised to think about what they would like to give Jesus as a gift . . . maybe more of their time, or energy, or money . . . and then write it on the card. Perhaps getting involved in a ministry, or spending more time with family and less time at work would be his or her gift.

They could sign the card or leave it anonymous and place it in the birthday bag. On Christmas Eve, our family read the gifts and prayed that each gift giver would stay true to their intent.

An Annual Event

As the years went by, the party grew larger and larger. People heard about it and wanted to come, and those who had attended in previous years started expecting it each year. It also became an outreach as we invited neighbors and unchurched friends. One year, we had someone offer to take pictures of guests in front of the manger scene and then we gave them a printed picture. Our Birthday Party for Jesus became the highlight of many people’s Christmas season.

We have since moved to a rural area, and while we don’t have the Birthday Party, we do have the Birthday Bag under the tree with the “birthday gift cards” and guests to our home are invited to give Jesus their gifts. We also have a manger scene that our grandkids enjoy acting out the first Christmas, and on Christmas Day, we have cupcakes or a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.

Our Idaho Manger scene

Our Idaho Manger scene

Below are some tips for throwing your own Birthday Party for Jesus and setting up a simple manger scene in your home.

Throw A Birthday Party for Jesus!

Keep it simple so you don’t get overwhelmed and invite friends and family to help.

For the manger scene:

  •     Buy hay at an animal feed store
  •     Use a barrel, box, large pot, wash basin, basket…for the “bed” and cover it in hay
  •     Wrap a lifelike baby doll in a baby blanket and place on the hay
  •     You can add lights or small artificial Christmas trees
  •     Hang a paper star over the manager
  •     Put stuffed animal sheep and donkeys around the manger

Let the children act out the manger scene and Christmas story.

  •     Shepherds and Joseph: Use large bath towels and cloth ties to wrap on their head,
  •     Wise Men: Drape colorful pieces of material around their heads and adhere with cloth ties.
  •     Mary: Take an old sheet, cut a hole to go over her head, and cinch at waist with a tie. Drape another piece of sheet over her hair.
  •     Angel: Again a white sheet works great with gold ties.
  •     Have enough towels, ties, and pieces of material for every child who wants to participate.
  •     Have someone read the story from Luke 1:26-38 and 2:1-20 as the children act it out.
  •     Sing several Christmas carols the children will know.

Here is a short video of my grandchildren acting out the first Christmas. As we started having grandkids, I bought Christmas costumes for them. I highly recommend Little Adventures Nativity Costumes…they’ve lasted well through all my grandkids!

Keep Food simple!

Serve finger foods so you don’t need silverware (use plastic if you do use it). If people want to bring something simply say “Sweet or sour finger food please.” That way you get a variety.

  •     Can also purchase a 5-6 ft Subway sandwich
  •     Birthday Paper plates, cups, and napkins
  •     Punch and hot cider, hot chocolate, and coffee
  •     Put candles in cupcakes or have a decorated birthday cake

Invitations, Favors and Birthday Cards for Jesus

  • Use Birthday invitations or make your own on Christmas stationary, and mail or  send out online. Be sure to give your kids a stack to give to their friends.
  • I found Christian, inexpensive party favors at Oriental Trading Company or you can check at a party store or Christianbook.com. Be sure the favors relate to the theme of the party. One year we gave everyone a small battery operated “flame” with the theme of the light of the world being born on Christmas.
  • For the Birthday Cards to give a gift to Jesus, design them on the computer and then print four to a page on cardstock. Or use Christmas stationary or we’ve even found birthday cards with four to a page and we can print “Happy Birthday Jesus! My gift to you this year is:” and the guests write out their gift to Jesus. Be creative!

IMG_0413Gift to Jesus Birthday Cards

[Tweet “What gift are you giving Jesus on His Birthday?”]

  • Decorate with birthday balloons and I found a flag to fly in front of our home.

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The most important thing about the party is to remember the Guest of Honor. Have a joyous fun time doing everything to the glory of God. Be ready because your guests are going to want you to do this again next year too!

Many people tell me they did similar things when their children were little, but we never grow too old to have a birthday party, right! I would love to hear about your Birthday Party for Jesus or creative ideas for the party. Please share in the comments for everyone to enjoy.

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

 [Tweet “See the birth of Jesus through a child’s eyes”]

 

December 8, 2014
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Lower Expectations for the Holidays and Enjoy Them More

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Kathy Carlton Willis Enjoying a Stress-Free Christmas

Kathy Carlton Willis Enjoying a Stress-Free Christmas

When Dave and I became a blended family six days before Christmas 1992, I quickly learned that the best gift we could all give each other was grace and flexibility–especially during the holidays. Then when our four children married and started having their own children–grace and flexibility took on a whole new meaning! Our guest blogger today, Kathy Carlton Willis gives some excellent pointers on how to lower our expectations and enjoy the stress-free holidays like she did as a child in the picture above. Isn’t that how Jesus tells us to come unto Him–as little children.

How to Grin with Grace through the Holidays
by Kathy Carlton Willis –

What causes you to grit your teeth during the holidays? Perhaps it’s a certain expectation you have in yourself or unreasonable expectations others have in you. Or maybe you’re stressed by unmet expectations you have in others. If there’s one thing you could take a pass on this year to alleviate tension, what would it be? Perhaps your irritant made the list:

I’m stressed because someone else expects me to:

  1. Give more money toward a gift than I have budgeted, or to give a gift to someone not on my list.
  2. Go to a function that conflicts with another event I really want to attend.
  3. Enjoy a family gathering with drunk Uncle Troy there.
  4. Stop what I’m doing to help bail them out of an emergency caused by their poor planning, which will put me behind on my own schedule.

I’m stressed because I expect myself to:

  1. Decorate my house as festive as Martha’s.
  2. Plan and cook a meal that will rival Julia’s.
  3. Be as creative during the holidays as all those amazing women on Pinterest.
  4. Look as svelte as Heidi in my special outfit at the big Christmas shindig.

What if you could learn to grin with grace rather than grit your teeth through the holidays?

[Tweet “What if you could learn to grin with grace rather than grit your teeth through the holidays?”]

Expectations. Don’t worry. We all have them—especially this time of year. Unmet expectations, unrealistic expectations, unhealthy expectations. These lead to disappointment—in others, in ourselves, even in God.

Sometimes expectations are based on what we want to see happen—no matter how unrealistic. Other times our expectations are based on what another person has promised. But not everyone carries out his or her promises.

What to Do:

  1. Pre-plan a healthy way to handle your expectations. It’s impossible to have a godly response in the heat of the moment without having a predetermined course of action.
  2. Focus on the difference between reactions and responses. Reactions are based on emotional reflexes and are governed by the heart.Responses are based on disciplined actions and are led by the Spirit.
  3. Disengage your feelings from the response so you’re not allowing others to push your buttons. (And we all have buttons—usually a mix-matched set!) Take it out of the realm of feelings and put it in the realm of godly thoughts and actions.
  4. Pray for God’s wisdom and discernment.
  5. When a situation arises, be intentional rather than irrational. Remove yourself for a timeout if you need to disconnect from your feelings. Refocus on what Christ’s response would be. Being intentional means you have a strategy in place ahead of time, and you act on that strategy. This is called reframing your thoughts.

 [Tweet “Being intentional means you have a strategy in place ahead of time, and you act on that strategy—reframe your thoughts.”]

Bible Remedies for Expectations:

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

  • How can your expectations be a cause of anxiety?
  • What is to accompany your prayers and supplications?
  • What do you need to let God know about?
  • What does God promise that His peace will do for you?

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)

  • What can you expect God to give you when you truly trust in Him?
  • When you focus on the unmet expectations, you overlook all the amazing stuff that God is doing in your life and in the world

[Tweet “When you focus on the unmet expectations, you overlook all the amazing stuff that God is doing in your life and in the world.”]

Prayer Points:

  • When you have unmet expectations, take them to Jesus.
  • Allow your unmet expectations to draw you closer to the One who can do “abundantly more than all you can ask or imagine.”
  • Focus on the ways Jesus exceeds our expectations. He has eternity in mind, not just today.

[Tweet “Focus on the ways Jesus exceeds our expectations. He has eternity in mind, not just today.”]

What’s Grace Got to do With It?

God is teaching me to give grace through the benefit of the doubt. I’m also praying a little differently. I’m learning to reframe my expectations by infusing these prayers with God’s grace.

What I’m learning from expectations:

  • Everyone has unplanned “stuff” that keeps them from fulfilling their commitments, and I need to be as flexible with others as I hope they will be with me.
  • When others respond in ways that rub me the wrong way, it’s because I had in my mind a more acceptable response and they missed the mark. I expected them to respond in a situation like I would. They are not me (obviously).
  • My timetable is not the same as others. My priorities aren’t the same as others. I need to extend grace regarding timing and priorities, and be okay with the differences, even thanking God that we are all different.

Finally

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, focus on the relationships of the season rather than the expectations. When you let love motivate your prayers, you will discover a new grace-infused way to interact with others—even when they make you want to grit your teeth. And there will be enough grace to go around. Use some of it on yourself.

 [Tweet “When you let love motivate your prayers, you will discover a new grace-infused way to interact with others”]

Kathy Carlton Willis writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. She shines the light on issues that hold women back and inspires their own lightbulb moments. Almost a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books releasing over the next three years, including Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas. Learn more at: www.kathycarltonwillis.com/

 kathy carlton willis-64

 

November 17, 2014
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5 Reasons to See The Son of God

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Son of God

This past weekend, the movie Son of God opened in theaters around the country. Hubby and I had the blessing of seeing it on Saturday in a wide-screen theater. Many pastors encouraged their congregations to see this movie. According to USA Today, we came out in force—Son of God came in second for box office sales over the weekend, knocking the movie Lego off top place:

Son of God, the Biblical tale that drew support of pastors nationwide, took second with $26.5 million.

The debut met expectations and was propelled in part by prominent ministers that included Joel Osteen and Rick Warren, who distributed thousands of tickets and urged vigorous turnout for the drama about Jesus’ life.

While analysts consider devout audiences an underserved demographic in Hollywood, Ray Subers of Box Office Mojo says that Son was considered a “total wild card” when it came to predicting ticket sales.

When the film was announced last year, “many scoffed at the project,” he says.

The movie “is, after all, attempting to get people to pay movie theater prices for content many have already seen via The History Channel’s popular mini-series, The Bible,” Subers says.

But audiences gathered en masse for the movie, which scored an A- among moviegoers, says CinemaScore. Critics were more skeptical: Just 24% gave it their blessing, according to Rotten Tomatoes. But 81% of fans said they enjoyed it, according to the site.

Five reasons why pastors wanted their congregations to go see Son of God on opening weekend and continue to see it at theaters:

 

1. To Send a Clear Message to Hollywood

The USA Today article described “devout audiences” as an “underserved demographic in Hollywood.” When Hollywood takes a risk, as 20th-Century Fox did with Son of God, Christians need to show our support. Opening weekend numbers make news and Son of God coming in second was huge! Those of you who haven’t seen it yet, need to go soon. If a movie isn’t bringing in revenue to movie theaters, they won’t keep showing it.

We sent a clear message with the millions who watched the television mini-series The Bible and Hollywood took note. So even if you saw The Bible, give the same support to this movie if you want to see more movies we can stand behind come out of Hollywood.

2. Son of God is Our Story

Son of God portrays the ministry of Jesus, the agonizing cross, and glorious resurrection—every Christian’s heritage and testimony. Christ died and rose again for us. We should never tire of telling, hearing, or seeing the story behind our salvation. We need a reminder of what Christ endured to give you and me eternal life and the ministry responsibility for each of us to continue.

3. Son of God tells the Easter Story

Son of God ushers in the Easter season. As churches prepare programs, cantatas, and services, this movie reminds of what we’re celebrating. Jesus died a horrible death for us, but He arose and lives among us. The movie is a depiction of the Gospel story—the Good News.

4. Son of God is Biblically Accurate

I knew what the actors’ next words were going to be because they were from the Bible! Watching the Bible come alive is exciting, and you’ll know more Scripture than you thought you did.

5. Son of God is an Outreach

Invite unchurched neighbors and friends to go to the movies with you. There is also a Son of God Bible study, so offer to host a small group Bible study in your home after you see it at the movies.

We, the “Devout Audiences,” Can Make a Difference—For Good or Bad

Many scoffed at the Son of God project and predicted it’s failure, but the faithful came out and showed that the moral majority are mighty in numbers. We can make a difference. We don’t have to put up with the junk that typically comes out of Hollywood.

Here’s the caveat: We negate the impact of Son of God coming in second place on opening weekend, if next weekend we go watch R-rated, or even some PG 13, movies. In January, I wrote a blog post “Be Careful Little Eyes What You See,” and suggested running every movie through the Ephesians 5:1-10 grid. As a reminder, verses 3-4 warn:

“Sexual immorality, impurity, or greed. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes”? According to God: “these are not for you . . . Such sins have no place among God’s people.”

There are more faith-based movies coming out in upcoming months. Let’s cast our vote by seeing these movies and abstain from seeing any movie that would offend The Son of God.

March 3, 2014
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What Does Jesus’ Birthday Have To Do With Presidents’ Day?

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february 22 1732, westmoreland county, virginia, the first president of the united states, george washington

Today is “Presidents’ Day,” but how many of you know which presidents’ birthdays we’re celebrating? If you’re under 50, there’s a good chance you’re stumped because their birthdays are no longer mentioned on today’s calendars.

Ok, if you know the two president’s we’re celebrating today, or the pictures above gave it away, without looking it up do you know the dates of their birthdays? Those days are imprinted in my mind because growing up they were always celebrated separately and we had the day off of school.

On February 12, we talked about Lincoln emancipating the slaves and the tragic loss of a great president when he was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth.

On February 22, we ate cherry pie and talked about George Washington, the first president of the United States, who as a kid couldn’t tell a lie about chopping down the family cherry tree.

I remember the construction paper silhouettes we made in school, and the honor given to each president. Sadly, those two important dates, their birthdays, are now ancient forgotten history.

Combined for Convenience

Until 1971, both February 12 and February 22 were observed as federal public holidays to honor the actual birthdays of Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. Then President Richard Nixon proclaimed one single federal public holiday, the Presidents’ Day, to be observed on the 3rd Monday of February, and everyone rejoiced at having a three-day holiday.

It’s not unusual to celebrate a birthday on a different day than it actually falls, especially for children’s birthdays so they can have a Saturday party with their friends, but we never forget their actual birth date. I know parents who celebrate several siblings birthday together for convenience, or maybe even combine it with a distant relative. Maybe that happened to you . . . and I wonder how you felt about it.

The fall out of “Presidents’ Day” is that there are now generations who enjoy a three-day weekend in February, but have absolutely no idea why they have the day off.

It Only Takes One Generation to Forget

As has happened with honoring the birthdays of the first president of the United States and the president who emancipated the slaves, if we don’t pass down the Christian faith to the next generation, Jesus’ birthday  could also become obsolete . . . forgotten. Maybe not even on the calendar . . . December 25th could become just another “Winter Holiday.”

Easter could become a “Spring Holiday”.

We see this trend every Christmas and Easter when the secular world tries to take Jesus out of the celebration, and it will happen in our Christian world too…families…children…generations to come. . . if we don’t continue to tell the Gospel story of Jesus and His love from one generation to the next.

 Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;
    let them proclaim your power.
 I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor
    and your wonderful miracles.
Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue;
    I will proclaim your greatness.
Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness;
    they will sing with joy about your righteousness.

Psalm 145:4-7  (NLT)

 

 

Springfield, Illinois at the Abraham Lincoln Museum

February 17, 2014
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Because We’re Better Together

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I’m so excited to be a part of The M.O.M Initiative’s First National Conference and I wanted to share all the details with you. I will be keynoting and presenting four workshops along with many gifted speakers, authors, moms, and grandmas! Following is all the information and please let me know if you’re attending.

photo RegisterforBetterTogetherButtonwithborder_zps9cc0718b.jpg

Need to know you’re NOT ALONE? Ready for a fun weekend GETAWAY with your GIRLFRIENDS? Need to be REFRESHED & REFUELED?

Join us at BETTER TOGETHER where 19 authors & speakers CONVERGE in ONE PLACE to minister to YOU with over 40 WORKSHOPS to meet you where you are!

BETTER TOGETHER is a conference by The M.O.M. Initiative, for women of ALL ages and in ALL stages of life!

SOMETIMES…we just need a weekend to laugh together, cry together, and discover you’re not alone in your journey. BETTER TOGETHER is a weekend to connect with women just like you….moms, wives, single moms, moms in blended families, divorced moms, moms of teens, moms of toddlers, grandmas, working moms, stay at home moms, mentors and ministry leaders.

With powerful keynotes from moms and ministry leaders just like you, and over 40 breakout sessions that are taught by experienced leaders and include a wide range of topics such as:

  • When Motherhood Should Come with a Training Manual
  • You Can’t Be 1/2 a Mom (for moms in blended families)
  • Walking Beside Your Child with Special Needs
  • The God Who Sees You
  • Bully Proof
  • Balancing Life and Ministry
  • Fight for Your Family
  • The Making of a Mom
  • Lord, Help My Marriage
  • Building a Top Notch Team
  • Reaching the Hard to Reach Child
  • Nothing Too Broken (Find hope & healing for even the deepest wounds)
  • Godly Girlfriends: The Sprinkles on the Cupcakes of Life
  • Praying for Your Prodigal
  • Lifegiving Hospitality ~ Start Simply but Simply Start (Hands on cooking class)

And MANY MORE BREAKOUTS that will meet you right where you are!

You’ll experience an amazing time of worship with The Journey Worship Band, you’ll learn, you’ll share, you’ll grow in Christ… and as a woman… and as a mother… and as a mentor… and as a ministry leader.

Expect to have fun, meet other moms, find hope and encouragement, and laugh…a lot!

  • Great worship with the live band
  • Lots of giveaways!
  • Late Night Bash with the M.O.M.s on Friday night!
  • Lots of opportunities to shop in the Exhibit Hall!
  • 15 Minutes w/M.O.M. appointments where you can meet a M.O.M.
  • Lots of workshops (over 40) to help you in practical, personal & powerful ways
  • Panel Talk on Saturday with some of YOUR questions answered by the M.O.M. team!

Here are the details:

When: July 31st – August 2nd, 2014

Where: Trinity Baptist Church, Jacksonville, Florida

How Much: Only $49 ($39 for groups of 10 or more)

How: To register or find out more information, visit www.themominitiative.com and go to “Conferences”

Seating is limited so you will want to get your tickets now and invite your friends!

You’ll be empowered, encouraged, refreshed and refueled…ready to fulfill your God-given calling with the confidence of knowing you don’t have to take your mom journey alone.

Don’t miss THE Southeast’s MOM conference of the year, BETTER TOGETHER by The M.O.M. Initiative…

Because we are ALL better together!

So come, BRING A FRIEND and make it a CONFERENCE EVENT FOR THE WOMEN IN YOUR CHURCH or MINISTRY!

CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU THERE!

 

January 27, 2014
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Balancing Grace and Truth

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Reposting this, since my feed did not go out on December 30th. 

Recently on my Facebook timeline, there was a discussion about grace and truth. I made the statement that I was glad that the public debate about the GQ interview with Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty, and A&E’s subsequent suspension of him, was prompting the moral majority of Christians to speak out about their beliefs. Speak out they did, with a united voice heard around the world. People opposing, instead of tolerating, sin.

I also said Christians have erred on the side of grace resulting in sin not only being tolerated, but legalized. We know the commandment “Thou shalt not kill,” but abortion is legal and called a “woman’s choice.” The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin and marriage is between a man and a woman, but homosexual marriage is becoming legal and called a lifestyle choice. Sin has always been a choice, that’s why God sent His Son to earth to offer us grace…not grace to keep on sinning . . . but grace to choose to turn from our wicked ways, seek forgiveness, and accept eternal life with Christ. An undeserved second chance to live a righteous life— the balance of grace and truth.

Truth or Grace

  • “You’re late!” A greeting to the last arriving meeting members. Truth but no Grace.
  • “Where are you going to live?” A response to a Christian who announces she’s going to live with her boyfriend. Grace but no Truth.
  • “That dress looks terrible on you.” Truth but no Grace.
  • “It’s alright. No problem.” A reply to a friend backing out on an important commitment. Grace but no Truth.
  • “You are going to hell if you keep up that behavior!” Truth but no Grace.
  • “Ok, I understand…” Said to the friend you babysat for numerous times, but when you ask to do a trade, she’s too busy. Grace but no Truth.
  • “Congratulations!” A gay couple tells you they are getting married. Grace but no Truth

Balancing Grace and Truth

Ephesians 4:15 says for us to “tell the truth in love.” What does that really mean, and most importantly, how do we do it? Not Grace or Truth or Grace versus Truth, but Grace and Truth. Yes, they can occur simultaneously, but it takes work. Displaying both grace and truth is a delicate balance, and often, we err towards one side or the other.

When faced with a sinful situation, many Christians fear sounding judgmental so their response is full of grace, but evades the truth. This can appear to condone the sinful behavior. Or, we’re so shocked or appalled at the sin we know God hates, that we slam the person with biblical truth. Very few are receptive to a condemning approach.

I tend to err on the side of wanting the truth told, but not knowing how to present it in a grace-filled manner. How do we not condemn, but not condone? How can we tell the truth, but still extend grace?

Follow Jesus’ Example

Randy Alcorn wrote an excellent book on this topic, The Grace and Truth Paradox: Responding with Christ-like Balance. Randy points out that the early church drew thousands to Jesus by copying the only model they had at the time…Jesus himself. Today, we often ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Those people knew what Jesus would do. We could arrive at a number of adjectives describing the character of Christ that would let us know what He would do today, but Randy suggests all reduce to two character qualities…yes only two!

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” John 1:1,14.

Jesus was full of both grace and truth all the time. Not grace one time and truth another time, Everything He did and everything He said embodied both character qualities. Notice that grace comes first in the verse because it was a new concept to the early Christians. They knew about the truth of the law from the Old Testament, but the grace of forgiveness that Jesus brought was brand new to them. 

Even in Jesus’ days, with his example to emulate, some like the Pharisees still chose to rely only on truth, and we know them as legalists. Jesus pointed out that the law could only reveal sin, but the grace of Jesus Christ could remove it.

We want others to know Jesus by what they see in our life, but then we have to ask ourselves what do they see in us? Are we full of grace and truth? Does it seem like a paradox sometimes? It shouldn’t. Randy points out that grace without truth, or truth without grace, are like a bird without one wing.

He Told Me Everything I’ve Ever Done!

In John 4:7-26, Jesus encountered the “woman at the well” who was living in sin. Jesus didn’t hesitate to point out to her the truth of her sin, yet he offered her a way out by grace. He didn’t run from the truth because it would embarrass her or put her on the spot. He simply stated the truth, but assured her He was The Way to grace. And what was the result of Jesus confronting her with grace and truth? The woman left her sinful life and became one of the first women evangelists (John 4:28-30).

No Bait and Switch

Communicating with grace and truth is not telling someone something flattering, then zinging them with truth. That bait and switch approach is never effective. They feel manipulated and tricked. Have you ever had that happen to you where you wonder: Did they just compliment or chastise me? Telling the truth should never cause confusion. It needs to be clear and concise.

Grace doesn’t mean sugarcoating, That’s not what Jesus would do. The passage in John 4:7-26 is a pattern for displaying grace and truth like Jesus. Notice Jesus didn’t first compliment the woman, then slam her with the truth. He first asked her a question, “Will you give me a drink?” which was a display of grace since Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans. The remainder of the passage is an example of Jesus telling the truth with grace. He confronted her with the truth of her sin and offered her the grace of forgiveness and eternal life.

What About You?

Check yourself with Randy Alcorn’s “Two Point Checklist” to help determine if you are a grace and truth Christian.

1.  Are nonbelievers uncomfortable around you?

It could be you are erring on the side of legalistic truth. People were drawn to Christ, who was both grace and truth, but ran from the Pharisees who had only the ‘truth.’

2.  Do all nonbelievers like you?

A red flag that you are erring on the side of grace. The true spirit of grace is that you love enough to tell the biblical truth and share the Gospel.

 Truth without grace:            Destroys          Crushes

    Grace without truth:             Deceives          Cowardly

Grace and Truth together:    Draws              Christ

God’s truths are guardrails in life to prevent us from going over the cliff into the sinful abyss, not tools for beating us over the head. A means of rescue, not a weapon. Truth can release someone from bondage or rescue him or her from certain death. When we choose to bypass truth and go straight to grace, it’s no longer grace. Offering someone grace without the truth—the guardrail that protects and sets us free to know the true grace of Jesus—is sending them over the cliff in a loving way.

A quote from Randy’s book:  “Truth without grace breeds a self-righteous legalism that poisons the church and pushes the world away from Christ. Grace without truth breeds moral indifference and keeps people from seeing their need for Christ. Attempts to “soften” the gospel by minimizing truth keep people from Jesus. Attempts to “toughen” the gospel by minimizing grace keep people from Jesus. It’s not enough for us to offer grace or truth. We must offer both.”

This is something most of us will spend a lifetime trying to achieve and only Jesus was perfect at it, but the Holy Spirit will help us if we ask. Tricia McCary Rhodes writes in Taking Up Your Cross about Jesus’ grace versus the truth of our inadequacy, “To be humble is to live always with poignant awareness of God’s extravagant grace poured out in exchange for our complete inadequacy.” And isn’t that the TRUTH!

“If we get it wrong about Jesus, it doesn’t matter what else we get right.” —Randy Alcorn

Phil Robertson

January 7, 2014
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