Home Archives for parenting problems

America Has Forgotten Its First Love!

2

When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice. But when the wicked are in power, they groan. Pr. 29:2 NLT

The word wicked means those who are morally wrong, hostile to God, anti-God and that describes many who are in authority today in our country.

A country that denies God as its Creator and moral Compass is headed for doom and disaster.

Our founding fathers knew that and so they based the Constitution and Bill of Rights on biblical godly principles. They were men who went before the Lord seeking His guidance. Our country was established on Judeo/Christian values that recognize God created the earth, He created each of us, and people who honor their Creator will succeed. Those who try to deny God and go against the laws of God will fail miserably.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Gen. 1:1 NLT

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Gen. 1:27 NLT

I always laugh at the term “climate control.” Man doesn’t control the climate, God does. Man can barely attempt to predict the weather. But man has no say over when it rains or when there’s a drought or hurricane or the sun comes up in the morning and the moon at night.

Only God knows when He will say it’s time to end the world as we know it. Only God!

35 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. 36 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,, but only the Father. Matt. 24:35-36

Many have foolishly tried to play God or give the impression that they had godly powers, always for personal gain, but eventually they’re unveiled as the charlatans they are.

America Has Forgotten Its Identity is in Christ Alone!

Last week Jason Whitlock, a black Christian sports journalist, podcaster, and host for Blaze Media for the show Fearless with Jason Whitlock, appeared on the Tucker Carlson show and clearly put into perspective what’s happening in our country today. Here’s what he said:

“We should be taking our identity in Christ not in skin color. Not in these superficial things your sexual preference or your gender identification. All of these identities have taken precedent over what used to be our primary identity: Are you a believer? Are you a Christian? Once you identify as that, now I can see the commonality between Tucker Carlson and Jason Whitlock.” [Tucker nods his head in agreement and says “Right”]

Jason continues, “We’re both believers. We’re both Christians. We both love our country. Those things that unite us they’re telling us to disavow and embrace things like skin color and sexual orientation, gender identity, those things that separate us they want us to lean into and lean away from God. That’s the mistake we’re making here in this country.” 

Jason gave a sermon right there! And who is the “they” he’s referring to trying to divide us? I wrote about them last week in my blog: We’re No Longer One Nation United Under God. It’s those on the left, including Biden and his administration, who want to turn America into a Marxist/Communist country. The only way they can succeed is to create division among the population and denounce and marginalize Christian Conservatives and our beliefs. They want to deny God!

Jesus wrote about what happens when a church forgets its first love. Imagine what’s going to happen to a country that forgets its first love!

4 “But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! 5 Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches.” Rev. 2:4-5

Removing the lampstand from a church meant that they would fail as a church. That’s exactly what’s going to happen to our country if we forget our first love, Jesus Christ. America will fail.

We’re Watching Authoritarianism Replace Democracy in America

The latest attempt is to silence parents protesting in School Board meetings about the racist, sexual deviant content of what their children are being taught and the fascist attempt to mask all children and even force them to be vaccinated, which has already started in California.

Biden has made it clear the government is coming for our children by characterizing parents who want to have a voice in what their children are being taught as potential domestic terrorists, when it’s the government using a fascist game plan to suppress opposition and take over our country.

I hope that parents aren’t intimidated and continue to take a stand for protecting their children from indoctrination and harm. Don’t let the government have your children. Be respectful and passionate but let your voices be heard. God’s word, not the government, is the final authority and benchmark on how parents are to raise their children.

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Pr. 22:6 NKJV

Next, the Biden administration wants the IRS to monitor every person’s bank account over $600! Oh, and that will require 80,000 new IRS employees, but of course only those who’ve been vaccinated. They want to know if you buy a new couch or computer or sell something on EBay! They’re not going after tax fraud in big business and the wealthy; they’re scrutinizing the middle class struggling to survive or spying on where you give donations.

The left think they’re clever the way they hijack the conversation and come up with their own definition of terms. Justice is really revenge. Equity disguises discrimination. Public safety justifies mandates. Women’s health legalizes murder. Their main goal is to control words and repeat them enough until we start using their words and thoughts too. We must not let that happen.

3 Most importantly, I want to remind you that in the last days scoffers will come, mocking the truth and following their own desires. 2 Peter 3:3 NLT

So What Do We Do?

We keep close to God by reading His Word DAILY and praying asking what He wants us to do. He has a plan for each of us. We were all born for such a time as this.

I’ve said many times that God has a purpose for you and me. You’ll not experience fear or frustration when you feel like you’re doing something to make a difference.

“When people quit talking to God, they quit talking to one another. And people who quit talking to God soon get very lonely and depressed. They are actually lonely for God, hungering for communion with Him, yearning for His close love and nearness; but instead of recognizing these needs as spiritual, they blame their lack of fulfillment on their husbands or wives.” ― David Wilkerson

While it’s terribly infuriating and makes us even angry to watch the damage our current administration is doing to our country and our world relations, they are showing their hand clearly and God told us this would happen.

In 2 Timothy 3:1-5 we read, “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God–having a form of godliness but denying its power. “

Gather together with those who love the Lord like you do for encouragement and support, but also use whatever platform the Lord gives you to share Jesus with those who don’t know Him. Like Jason Whitlock, look for open doors to explain why you can still smile and be hopeful in the midst of the turmoil and chaos we see all around us.

I end conversations and encounters with everyone and anyone cheerfully saying, “Have a blessed rest of your day.” It’s amazing the responses I receive, all positive. Some seem a little surprised but say thank you. Others reply, “You have a blessed day too!”

Remember we don’t belong to some secret society! Just the opposite! Jesus came to earth that all might be saved and He told us not to hide our light but to let it shine brightly for all to see.

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matt. 5:14-16

That’s exactly what Jason Whitlock did on public TV and it’s what we can do in our private life.

Interesting that the prophet Isaiah could’ve been talking about America when he wrote,

I, yes I, am the Lord, and there is no other Savior. First I predicted your rescue, then I saved you and proclaimed it to the world. No foreign god has ever done this. You are witnesses that I am the only God,” says the Lord. Isaiah 43:11-12 NLT

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

October 11, 2021
Return to top of page

An Expert Explains Why Critical Race Theory Must Be Kept Out of Schools!

2

The Biden Administration is trying to claim it was an “error” that the U.S. Department of Education’s handbook published in April 2021 promotes the radical “Abolitionist Teaching Network’s handbook “Guide for Racial Justice & Abolitionist Social and Emotional Learning” that advocates for educators to “disrupt Whiteness” and accuses the U.S. educational system of “the spirit murder of Black, Brown and Indigenous Children.”

Critical Race Theory included in a federal teacher’s handbook! Who is responsible?

Betsy DeVos, former Secretary to Education under President Trump, said in interviews that someone high-up in the Department of Education had to sign off on the citation to this radical activist group being included in the handbook. It couldn’t have been an oversite. Who included it in the first place?

“This notion that it was a mistake is an absolute falsehood,” said DeVos, who served under President Trump. “Having been there at the department for four years and working through the approval processes for anything that is put out from the department, I know full well that there were eyes on and full knowledge of this going on.”

Earlier this month, I wrote a blog “Never Poke a Mama Bear” in which I encouraged parents to know what their children are being taught and to especially protest critical race theory indoctrination in schools.

Last week, Judith Rolfs, a professional marriage and family counselor, responded to my blog Do You Know the Difference Between Misinformation and Disinformation? She sent me a copy of an article she had written on the dangers of CRT being introduced into our schools. I asked her if I could share it with you and she said absolutely. We all need to become educated, forewarned, and motivated to combat the enemy within education.

As I’ve said before, Satan wants the next generation. Whether or not you have children in school, you can’t deny the impact this will have on our culture. Our country. Our families.

So here’s Judith Rolfs’ article on this topic . . .

Dear Readers,
I’ve been asked to share my thoughts about race in America and how the topic impacts school children based on my experience as a professional marriage and family counselor. This seems a timely topic with all the discussion in our news currently.

The truth is that race discussion does not belong in our public or private schools. Yet the National Education Association is promoting teaching a theory that imposes guilt on children and creates division among our children.

Here is why this is wrong. Witness children at play. Children accept others in play without regard for the color of another child’s skin. Feelings and friendships are developed naturally by the way each child interacts. They realize that there are differences in many things regarding color, flowers, sky, water, trees, toys, and yes, people. 

In a child’s mind, the color of one’s skin has no bearing on their friendships or acceptance UNLESS they’re taught that one color is better than another color.

Prejudices are taught. They don’t come naturally to children. Being white, or whatever color one is born, is the Creator’s decision and no race is superior or inferior to another. It’s horrific to hang guilt on a child because of their white skin color.

I came across this shocking statement! May 27, 2021 — Says Becky Pringle, President of the NEA. “Our children need to understand the painful truth of racism.” “(NEA) believes that, in order to achieve racial and social justice, educators must acknowledge the existence of white supremacy culture as a primary root cause of institutional racism, structural racism, and white privilege.” 

I want to be quite clear about CRT race discussion at any level of schooling. It’s incorrect for a teacher or school system to infer students are racist or that students should bear guilt for the way people were treated in the past. This can harm innocent children. They shouldn’t experience guilt over something for which they have no responsibility. To do so is child abuse. 

The Bible makes this very clear in Ezekiel 18:20 “The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.”

Our country was founded on the truth that all men are created equal and founded with the intent to provide religious freedom and equal opportunity for ALL. It was not founded to promote slavery. “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28                                                   

So then what should older children learn about race? The facts. Historically, some races have been ill-treated tragically at times. Slavery was wrong. Imposed segregation was wrong. Whites, blacks, and people of every color have equal opportunity given by God. No individual and no government has the authority to deny this right to any other human being.

Sadly, self-serving politicians spread the lie that blacks are inferior, of lesser intelligence, incapable of achieving success, or ridiculously that blacks could not complete voter ID forms. Such deceitful individuals want black people to believe these untruths about themselves and feel inferior and dependent on government for their well-being.

No race or skin color is inferior or superior to any other. God created all men and women equal!

Parents make sure your children are not damaged by misled teachers who are misinformed or have an evil agenda to cause division and hate. Be certain your school boards do not accept this harmful NEA agenda.

These so-called educational “strategies” do not belong in our schools. Teachers are hard pressed enough teaching basic academic subjects. Since teachers were pressed into social agendas, our students have fallen woefully behind other countries academically.

It’s helpful to keep in mind that Jesus is the great unifier. Every family black, white, brown, or yellow, has the opportunity for acceptance and love in Him and through Him for one another.

Instead of distressing children with “white privilege guilt” teachers should promote values like a good work ethic and build the esteem of every student by empowering them through solid academic learning.

Unity can exist when it’s based on strong moral principles of respect for one another as God’s creation. Race theory doesn’t belong in our schools. 

Dr. Judith Rolfs has been a marriage and family therapist, speaker and author for almost three decades. She’s passionate about helping couples have joyful, strong marriages and families. As a Christian woman, wife, and mom of four, grandmother of seven, she knows firsthand the challenges of life in this often chaotic world. Judith teaches biblical principles from Scripture and always encourages dependence on God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for living one’s best life.

On Judith’s YouTube channel you can find Marriage and Parenting tips plus Judith reading short stories to children from her modern fairy tales book Unforgettable Stories for Kids.

Her Amazon Author page reveals what an eclectic author she is of over twenty books from five star mystery novels, marriage and family how-to books to her Tommy Smurlee/Grella Weller children’s series for ages eight and up – creative mystery fantasy books with solid moral values.

Her website is www.judithrolfs.com

Judith lives in a hidden woodland garden in Wisconsin with her husband who is the popular author of family inspirational books, Words For Today, Thoughts For Tomorrow

Recent Family Book Release: Man in Command, 52 Ways To Be A Great Husband and Dad

Thank you Judith for sharing your article with us!

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment for Judith or me here.

July 26, 2021
Return to top of page

5 Ways to Survive the Storms of Marriage by Carol Kent

8

I’m thrilled to have Carol Kent as a guest today on the Monday Morning Blog and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. If you’re married, you’ve been spending a great deal of time together, more than usual, during the Coronavirus stay-at-home season. There’s probably stress about finances, kids out of school, fear about catching this virus, restrictions imposed on us by local government, maybe loss of a job or trying to work from home and we just want our lives back.

Carol and her husband Gene, along with Cindy and David Lambert, have a new book out that every couple will appreciate not only during these difficult times, but in the inevitable storms we will face together in our marriages.

Carol is offering a free copy of Staying Power so be sure to leave a comment to enter the drawing. Now grab a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy Carol’s words of wisdom.

5 Ways to Survive the Storms of Marriage by Carol Kent

I had been happily married to Gene for more than 25 years when a middle of the night phone call turned my world upside-down. The news was unthinkable.  Our son, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, had been arrested for the murder of his wife’s first husband. Amid multiple accusations of abuse involving the biological father of Jason’s three-year-old and six-year-old stepdaughters, our son unraveled—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—and now he faced a trial for murder. Following seven postponements of the trial, he was convicted of the crime and sentenced to life without parole. 

This caused unspeakable pain (for us and for the victim’s family), emotional tension, financial stress, frayed nerves, public humiliation, and often triggered pressures in our marriage we hadn’t faced before.

Our situation might seem more drastic than what your marriage is going through, but there are times for most of us when due to no fault of our own, outside challenges hit our lives and decisions need to be made. In your case it might be a struggle with infertility, or the addiction of your child, a financial crisis, an accident that changes everything about your future, caring for the needs of an aging parent, a child with a disability, parenting a grandchild, the incarceration of a loved one—and so much more.

How can our marriages become stronger when we face the storms of marriage—those things that come out of the blue, without warning, that threaten to destroy our relationships? Here are five action steps you can take.

1. Decide to be “in this together.” Gene and I, along with our co-authors, David and Cindy Lambert, have discovered through God’s faithfulness during our own trials, that as distressing as many of the challenges our marriages face are, they’re also a rich opportunity to grow together in strength and in wisdom. We have an opportunity to make our marriages stronger and more resilient than before the crisis hit.

John 16:33 says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

2. Make the next right choice. Author Clare DeGraaf helped me understand the importance of pre-decisions. I call them our “non-negotiables”—a series of pre-determined choices we made to each other. Some of those are:

  • I will request, honor, and respect the advice of my spouse.
  • I will serve my spouse sacrificially.
  • I will control my tongue. That means no matter how difficult our situation is, Gene and I are committed to treating each other with kindness.

Clare DeGraaf writes about the 10-Second Rule: “Just do the next thing you’re reasonably certain Jesus wants you to do. (And commit to it immediately—in the next ten seconds—before you change your mind!).”

We discovered that when we regularly spent time with the Lord, Scripture passages we were reading helped to confirm important decisions. We didn’t require another two weeks of uncertainty. We discussed the options, shared what we believed God was nudging us to do, and then made the next important choice.

3. Practice automatic forgiveness. Because Gene and I live in a challenging situation that will probably not end in our lifetime, we’ve had to learn that forgiveness usually isn’t a one-time thing. We’re still human. Tempers flare.

We communicate poorly when we’re exhausted. We’re learning to instantly recognize that this negativity and unforgiveness can escalate. So we STOP and remind ourselves that . . .

  • We want resolution.
  • We need the support of each other, or our marriage won’t survive.
  • Our love is deeper than this crisis. We’re committed to forgiving each other for negative behaviors and outbursts quickly and often.

Proverbs 17:9 NLT says: “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven.”

Our goal is to be unoffendable.

4. Say “yes” to guilt-free time-outs. As a Type-A first-born, I like to solve problems and move on to the next thing. But having an incarcerated son isn’t something that’s a task to be completed on a “to-do” list. I often found myself worn out—trying to keep all of the balls of speaking, writing, being a wife, and caring for my son’s needs in the air—and I hit a wall! 

All couples who face long-term challenges need to develop a daily habit that takes them away from the immediate stress of their ongoing situation for a short while. When our family members are in pain, we often feel uncomfortable experiencing pleasure.

Make a plan to rediscover your joy.

5. Serve while suffering. Find someone who needs help worse than you do. Then do a tangible act of kindness for that person together. Serving others shifts our focus off our own challenges and onto someone else. It makes us Jesus-focused and our own challenges become less overwhelming.

Serving others produces blessing.

“Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” Luke 6:38 MSG

Never give up on defending your marriage and your family against the challenges life throws at you. You can build lasting staying power into your marriage with God’s help.

Drawing for a Free Copy of Staying Power

Which of the five suggested ways to make your marriage stronger in the middle of challenging circumstances is one you’d like to try? Leave a comment and a winner will be selected on Friday, May 8.

Adapted from Staying Power: Building a Stronger Marriage When Life Sends Its Worst, by Carol and Gene Kent and Cindy and David Lambert, Revell, 2020.

Get to Know Carol: 

Carol Kent is a bestselling author and international speaker. She’s the executive director of the Speak Up Conference, a ministry committed to helping Christians develop their speaking and writing skills. She and her husband, Gene, have founded the nonprofit organization, Speak Up for Hope, which benefits inmates and their families. Carol has trained Christian speakers for over twenty-five years and she has been a featured speaker at Women of Faith, Extraordinary Women, and Women of Joy arena events.  She is the author of over twenty-five books, including the bestselling When I Lay My Isaac Down and Becoming a Woman of Influence. Her two newest titles are a 365 page-per-day devotional titled, He Holds My Hand, and Staying Power, co-authored with her husband Gene, and Dave & Cindy Lambert. Connect with Carol on FB, Twitter, or Instagram.

May 4, 2020
Return to top of page

Why I Have Hope for Katy Perry

0

My book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, is about a prodigal, aka me, raising a prodigal. As I’ve read about Katy Perry’s recent public confessions of why she turned away from her childhood Christian faith, I saw a certain parallel to my life. No, I never became a multimillion dollar, outrageously popular pop star, but I did turn my back on my Christian faith after my divorce and became a very successful businesswoman living a worldly life while raising my prodigal.

Katy’s father is a pastor and her childhood home was faith-filled. In her public therapy session aired on Viceland, she went by her birth name Katheryn Hudson. Faithwire wrote an article from this session, Why Kathy Perry’s Rejection of Her Childhood Faith Should Concern Every Bible-Believing Christian. They quoted Hudson as saying, “I grew up with a lot of born-again Christian beliefs around me, and so I had people around me — like-minded people — and I would say it was a bit of a bubble,” Hudson explained. “I was a very curious person, and the curiosity — sometimes it wasn’t allowed because you had to have faith.”

The article goes on to say that Hudson explained she was “curious about what was going on in the rest of the world, and how they lived, and what they saw as they were living . . . I felt like I was missing out.” She decided to explore her singing career further to “pop [her] own bubble, to get out of [her] own situation.”

“I guess I was just trying to get out of one way of thinking. It was like ‘do as I say, no ifs, ands, or buts. It was based on my religious upbringing… I have so many questions. I ask all the questions in the world, and all the questions in the world have gotten me to where I am at now.” [To read the whole article]

There is so much in that last statement about finding answers in the world, which made her rich and famous, but spiritually bankrupt denouncing her faith and  singing songs with provocative, shocking lyrics and movements that many young girls listen to and imitate.

[Tweet “Why did Katy Perry turn to the world for answers to her questions?”]

Why did she turn to the world for answers? Because she couldn’t find answers to her questions in the church. She was raised around born-again Christians, but never actually says she was born-again.

In Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten, I challenge the church with that same thought: “If we don’t teach our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to. Not encumber them with rules easily broken, but guide them toward a relationship they wouldn’t forfeit or jeopardize for anything.” I ask the question: “How many are making sure their children and grandchildren understand, accept, and embrace the Christian lifestyle? How many know, for certain, their children have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

[Tweet “How many parents know, for certain, their children have a personal relationship with Jesus?””]

Again I warn in Forsaken God?: “The church failed to reach out to the next generation with a message relevant to the world they live in today, but the secular world was ready and waiting for them. . . .Today, even children from Bible-believing homes may not have the tools or fortitude to equip them to face a liberal world drifting away from the God of the Bible.”

I stress exactly what Katy Perry said she couldn’t get from the Christian “bubble.”

They need mentors and parents to have the tough, honest discussion about abortion, sexuality, sexual exploitation, marriage, same-sex attraction, transgenderism, radical Islam, cults, drugs, alcohol, suicide . . . whatever they’re facing in their world.

My “Katy Perry” Story

When I left my good-girl Christian lifestyle, even though I was a born-again Christian since age eleven, I felt just like Katy that I was missing something “out in the world.” Satan makes sin seem fun and enticing. And there were plenty of people ready to teach me the “world’s ways.” I was naïve enough not to understand how quickly I was being sucked into that lifestyle.

[Tweet ” Satan makes sin seem fun and enticing.”]

I wasn’t raised in a Christian home like Katy was, but I did have a very devout grandmother who planted the seeds of faith in me. My mother would drop me off at church, but I was on my own. I loved everything about church and did find mentors and “spiritual mothers” to answer my questions until I went away to college and there was no one guiding me not to marry an unbeliever or pray with me about my choices.

What Brought Me Back to the Lord?

After seventeen years of backsliding, I was invited to a Harvest Crusade where Pastor Greg Laurie asked the crowd if they were ready to die that night? The Lord had gradually been bringing me back to Him through attending Pastor Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, and I knew the answer to Pastor Laurie’s question was, no. I rededicated my life to the Lord that night and God has been using me About His Work ever since.

[Tweet “Do you know where you’re going if you die tonight?”]

I think Katy Perry, Katherine Hudson’s, public “therapy” session is her cry for help. I know she feels God on her shoulder calling her back with every provocative move, word, and action she uses to try to separate from Him.

[Tweet “I think Kathy Perry’s public “therapy” session Katy Perry is her cry for help”]

What Can We Do?

Katy Perry’s mother, a minister’s wife, author, and a mentor to many Christian women, has some advice that she shared in an interview by J. Lee Grady, Charisma News, “How Katy Perry’s Mother Praises God Through the Pain.” Grady asks: How does a Christian mother handle it when she sees her daughter drifting so far from the values she taught her?

“The devil definitely tries to steal my joy,” Mary told me. “I sometimes have to fight depression.” A few years ago, Mary anchored her soul to Psalm 113:9, which says, “He gives the barren woman a dwelling, making her the joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!”

“That verse inspired her to write her 2015 book, Joyful Parent, Happy Home. Mary believes if you want your children to live for God, “You have to get happy and stay in the ‘God zone.’ Mary’s close friends also support her unconditionally. And she asks new friends to agree with her in prayer for a miracle turnaround for her daughter . . . Mary believes parents of prodigals must focus on others rather than wallowing in their own pain. For the past 11 years she has poured her life into women who attend her Arise conferences.” The full interview is at CharismaNews.

[Tweet “Katy Perry’s mother encourages parents of prodigals to focus on others rather than wallowing in their own pain”]

Mary also mentioned something important that I share in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: show unconditional love to your prodigal, and as much as it is up to you, keep the lines of communication open.

Praise God, both my daughter and I enjoy a wonderful relationship with God and each other. I now have precious grandchildren to help pour into spiritually. I want to make sure I’m not just telling them what to believe, but helping them come to their own conclusions. To feel free to ask us questions and to help them solve their faith problems without giving them the answers we think they should arrive at. To help them develop problem-solving techniques and know where and how to go to the Bible when they question something happening in the world.

When they ask if I know that Katy Perry “used to be a Christian,” we talk about the fact that if she did give her heart to Jesus as a child, she still is a Christian, but she’s not living like one, so let’s pray for her.

The 6/26/17 issue of Time Magazine, quoted Katy’s apology for “criticized acts of cultural appropriation”: “I didn’t know that I did it wrong until I heard people saying I did it wrong. And sometimes that’s what it takes.” Let’s pray Katy hears from God that she’s been doing wrong and apologizes to Him. Someday, Katy could have an amazing testimony and God will use it for good. Pray it’s soon before she influences more young girls and women for the world.

[Tweet ” Someday, Katy could have an amazing testimony and God will use it for good.”]

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

If you received this by email, please leave a comment here.

PS I just realized this is the end of June already and should be Love Your Body Monday, but this post was on my heart so I’ll post a Love Your Body blog for the 4th of July week!

June 26, 2017
Return to top of page

Are You The Woman Today You Want Your Daughter to Become?

2

If you’ve followed me for awhile, you know I’ve been writing, editing, and proofing a new book, Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness. Last week, I turned in my final proof edit to the publishers, Leafwood Publisher, as I anticipate it’s September 12, 2017 release. Then I learned the exciting news that this book is now on Amazon ready for preorders! You can order now, and as soon as it’s in stock at Amazon, you’ll receive your pre-release copies. The more preorders, the more they bring in stock. Will you help me get this book into the hands of mentors and mentees, those wanting to know how to be a mentor or mentee, and Women’s Ministry Directors to guide women in all seasons of their life.

This book will guide and equip women from tweens to twilight seasons in how to biblically mentor or be a mentee! I think it’s the first book of it’s kind written for both M&M’S! One endorser has already said every Women’s Ministry Director needs this book in her library. As the summer goes on, I’ll share more tidbits about this book for all women.  So drum roll please . . . I’m unveiling the cover!

The Mothering Season

[Tweet “When I speak to woman about mentoring, I tell them that their first mentoring responsibility is to their daughters if they have daughters or nieces. “]

When I speak to women about mentoring, I tell them that their first mentoring responsibility is to their daughters if they have daughters or nieces. They’re the role model for these young girls and they’re mentoring to them what it looks like to be a woman today: either a woman of the world or a woman of the Word. And then, I ask the question: Are you the woman today you want your daughters to become because they’re watching you, and as much as they don’t want to be like you, they will probably become just like you at sometime in their life.

In Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I share how during my backsliding years, my daughter wanted to be just like me. I realized some of the poor choices she was making were a reflection of the poor choices she was watching me make.

That was a huge revelation to me that I needed to make some changes in my life. When I did rededicate my life to the Lord and start living a godly life, she didn’t want any part of it. She liked the way we were living more by the world’s standards than by God’s ways. And that’s the story I talk about in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. I went down on my knees and prayed Scripture for her daily for six years; all the time showing and role modeling for her the blessings of being a rededicated woman of faith.

[Tweet “I went down on my knees and prayed Scripture for my daughter daily role modeling a woman of faith.”]

I’m happy to say our story took a happy turn and Kim did eventually give her heart to Jesus, and she has done a much better job than I did raising her three children in a Christian household. She’s mentored them in character qualities that her two daughters and son are obviously noticing. For a school project, 3rd grader Sienna was to write why her mom should be in People Magazine. I must admit, I was troubled by this teacher’s choice of a magazine that 3rd graders had no business knowing about or writing an article for, so I was relieved when Sienna said she had no idea what People Magazine was, anyway!

[Tweet “Would your children see these character qualities in you?”]

But what did impress me were the character qualities Sienna wrote that she saw in her mom. My daughter is a fitness instructor with a fabulous figure, she’s gorgeous, dresses stylishly, and always looks beautiful. So when Sienna decided to write about why her mom should be on the cover of People Magazine, she easily could have talked about these superficial, outward qualities, but at eight-years old this is what she wrote, exactly how she wrote it, no edits from Grammie:

My mom should be on the cover of the People magazine. My mom’s name is Kim Mancini. My mom is medium height, has brown hair, and her eyes are brown. There are so many reasons why my mom should be on the cover of the People Magazine.

One of the amazing things about my mom is that she is trustworthy. My mom trusts me all the time. My mom does not lie. My mom is trustworthy with my whole family. Now you know why my mom is trustworthy.

My mom is the most honest person in the world. She is honest with me. She once said, “Do not be scared that’s not real.” My mom is honest with my grandparents. There is no doubt, my mom should be on the People Magazine because she is so honest.

My mom is so helpful. My mom helps me when I am hurt. My mom helps me with my homework. She helps me get ready for school. My mom should win an award for being the best mom ever. My mom is the best mom in the world.

By Sienna

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Sienna’s mom, is trustworthy, honest, and helpful. Later she wished she had included hardworking. Isn’t that what every mom wants all her children, not just her daughters, to say about her?! Good job Kim.

What would your kids write why you should be on the cover of People Magazine?

The Mancini family. Sienna is next to her brother

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

June 5, 2017
Return to top of page

Messy Journey, Offering the Prodigal a Way Home by Lori Wildenberg

0

I always teach that mentoring the next generation starts with our own family. But what do you do when your children or grandchildren are walking with the world instead of with God? As many of you know, parenting prodigals is dear to my heart and prompted me to share our family’s journey in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents.

Today, my author friend, and licensed parent and family educator Lori Wildenberg offers practical grace- and truth-filled ways of navigating your relationship with a detoured child whether they are rejecting faith, dabbling in sin, or wholeheartedly embracing sinful behavior.

Lori knows the heartache of having a rebel child. Her new release Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home is for parents walking the difficult road with a wayward child. Be inspired to drink the deep waters of peace as you draw closer to the Father of all prodigals. There is hope. After all, their struggle isn’t really with you, it’s with God.

 [Tweet “A prodigal’s struggle isn’t with you, it’s with God.”]

MESSY LIFE by Lori Wildenberg

“When her parents discovered she was pregnant, they kicked her out.”

This single mom has defied the odds. She is raising her child, going to college, and working to support the two of them.

Not easy.

I don’t know the details of this woman’s story. I have no clue as to the relationship she had or has with her parents. I don’t know all the times of trouble that led up to this separation.

But…

I do know a number of families in a similar situation who chose to do life differently. They chose to support their unwed pregnant daughter and help her in her time of need. Three of the girls kept their babies. All three are now married (not to the baby daddy), another girl miscarried (now married with kids), and a fifth made an open adoption plan.

During the most difficult time in their life, each young mom knew her parents were there for her. Each woman in the middle of the mess knew she could count on her parents to help stabilize the shaky ground. All girls are now thriving.

As daughter’s of Eve and sons of Adam, we make decisions that are not in our best interest, ones that are not God’s best for us.

[Tweet “We make decisions that are not in our best interest, ones that are not God’s best for us.”]

Humans have a wandering propensity.

[Tweet “Humans have a wandering propensity”]

Some young people stray due to an unwed pregnancy, sexual sin, porn, substance abuse, or a rejection of faith. When we have a prodigal, sometimes we are to let ’em go (see Luke 15) and other times we are to chase after our lost sheep (see Luke 15).

Either way, we need to keep the bridge built so our prodigal is able to return.

[Tweet “Parents need to keep a bridge built so our prodigal is able to return”]

I have a child who, for a season, stepped away from the family. It was the most painful thing I have ever endured. There were times I chased her down like the shepherd and other times I waited like the dad.

[Tweet “My prodigal shutting out the family was the most painful thing I’ve ever endured.”]

I cried. I prayed.

I was a mess. I was weak.

God was strong.

Praise God, He brought her back to us.

I am thankful I kept the drawbridge down so she could cross it.

If your young person has taken a detour from the way in which he should go, keep the bridge open.

Don’t destroy it, build it.

During a messy life, lay down the planks of unconditional love: grace, humility, mercy, forgiveness, honesty, and truth.

Build the bridge and yes…they will come.

Back.

“Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.”
Luke 15:6b (NIV)

Where is God calling you to build or rebuild a relational bridge?

If you received this post by email, leave a comment here.

Lori Wildenberg is passionate about helping families build connections that last a life time. She is a licensed parent-family educator and co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting. She has written 4 parenting books with Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home published by New Hope as her most recent. She is a parent consultant, national speaker, and lead Mentor Mom over at the Moms Together Facebook Community Page. Lori is a contributor to a number of on-line magazines. Every Monday you can find her blogging about faith and family. Mostly, Lori is wife to Tom and mom of four. The Wildenberg’s home is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. A perfect day in Lori’s world is a hike with her hubby, four kids plus a daughter-in-love, and Murphy the family labradoodle.

Find Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home at Amazon.

Additional Books:
Raising Little Kids with Big Love (for parents of toddlers- 9)
Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love (for parents of tweens-young adults)

www.loriwildenberg.blogspot.com

www.loriwildenberg.com

www.facebook.com/momstogether

www.facebook.com/1Corinthians13Parenting

www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com
https://twitter.com/LoriWildenberg

https://pinterest.com/loriwildenberg/

Instagram: LoriWildenberg

May 8, 2017
Return to top of page

Remember Not Every Woman is “Happy” on Mother’s Day

0

motherbouquet

My daughter Kim and I were just on the phone making Mother’s Day plans. As we chatted about what we would do to celebrate her being the mother of my three darling grandchildren, and me being Kim’s mom . . . my mind wandered back to a Mother’s Day twelve years ago that wasn’t so happy for Kim.

In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey, Kim shares a painful and heartbreaking Mother’s Day:

Dear God,

It’s almost Mother’s Day and I don’t know if I can handle seeing all those happy moms at church and brunch. I’m trying to focus on my mom and not think about how I’m missing out on being a mommy on yet another Mother’s Day. This year is especially hard since we’ve been trying to be parents for so long and so hard, only to be repeatedly disappointed. At the store looking for a card for my mom, I see the cute cards at the end of the aisle “To Mommy”…oh God, I wish I were someone’s mommy! I look away and continue focusing at the task ahead, getting my mom and mothers-in-law their cards.

Today’s the day, it’s Mother’s Day. I don’t think I can bear it. It’s just begun and already I want this day over. I pull myself out of bed and get ready for church. I’m not looking forward to the sermon about children being a blessing and honoring mothers. God, help me focus on my mom.

We met my parents at church and I put on my happy face, when inside I was crying watching all the mothers with big smiles dressed in pretty spring dresses and children running all around. This was a day of celebration and I just wanted to go back to bed. The pastor started the message with asking all the mothers to stand up. Hundreds of women stood and everyone applauded. I couldn’t take it any longer and sat slouched over in my seat quietly crying. Toby put his arm around me and my mom held my hand, but nothing took away the pain. I barely heard the rest of the message.

After brunch, I came home, collapsed on my bed, and cried myself to sleep where I remained the rest of the day. God, please don’t make me go through another Mother’s Day with this hole in my heart. I want to stand up in church with all those other mothers beaming from ear to ear and have everyone applaud me. God, please let me stand up next year.

Some of you identify with Kim’s cry out to God.

“I hate Mother’s Day!” admitted a dear friend longing for a baby. “You know that women struggling with infertility don’t go to church on Mother’s Day.” Kris agrees, “I was that mom-in-waiting for sixteen years. I stayed away from baby showers, church, and pregnant friends. I didn’t stop praying, but it was the worse pain.”

Lisa concurs, “I am guilty of having skipped church on Mother’s Day a few years before we adopted my son.”

[Tweet “1 in 6 Women Experience Infertility”]

Someone You Know is Struggling with Infertility

Mother’s Day is especially hard for mommies-in-waiting, but for most of these women, every day is hard. With 1 in 6 couples experiencing infertility, you are, or know, a woman experiencing this heartache. Often we don’t know what to say to them, so we say nothing, or maybe unintentionally say something that makes them feel worse. Kris says, “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.”

[Tweet “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.””]

Avoidance only adds to these hurting women’s feelings of isolation and loneliness. When you don’t know what to say or do these suggestions might help: “Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do and to Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility.”

[Tweet “It breaks my heart to hear that many women say the one place they feel the loneliest is in the church.”]

It breaks my heart to hear that many women say the one place they feel the loneliest is in the church. Doesn’t that break your heart too? Jesus said he came for the sick, and that includes heartsick. The church should be a safe place for the hurting, not a place where they feel shunned or like outcasts.

How does your church comfort mommies-in-waiting on Mother’s Day … and every day?

Mothers of Prodigals

[Tweet “Mothers of prodigals are another group of women who dread Mother’s Day. “]

Mothers of prodigals are another group of women who dread Mother’s Day. They may not know where their child is, or know all too well where he or she is, and that breaks a mother’s heart and the heart of God. These moms need comforting, a hug, and assurance that this day is for them too.

Mothers Who Have Lost a Child

A mother who has lost a child, lives with that grief every day, but Mother’s Day is a painful reminder of the precious child they lost. I can’t imagine that pain, but I watched the sadness in my Granny Reed’s eyes that was always there over the murder of my father, her beloved son, a week before his 37th birthday. She had six other living children who she loved dearly, but there was always pain for the one she lost.

Women Who Have Lost Their Mother

[Tweet “There’s a void and ache that never goes away when your mom is no longer living on Mother’s Day “]

Mother’s Day is about celebrating your mom, but there’s a void and ache that never goes away when your mom is no longer living, and Mother’s Day becomes a sad reminder of all the years you celebrated her on Mother’s Day. It can also be a joyous time of remembering, but still there’s no one to buy a card for, give a hug to, and a special gift for the years she devoted to raising you. Even after you become a mom yourself and your children are celebrating you, there’s a generational celebration as you are still somebody’s little girl, just all grown up.

I hope that you will not ignore but love on the mommies-in-waiting, the moms of prodigals, or the moms who have lost a child or their own mom, who may need a shoulder to cry on . . . a prayer . . . an understanding hug this Mother’s Day.

[Tweet “If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. “]

If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. If you haven’t been in their shoes, let them know you can’t possibly understand, but you’re there for them and God is too!

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

Lindsey Bell shared another helpful blog post on my website 6 Thing Not to Say to Someone Who is Hurting (And What to Say Instead)

If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

Dear God, Why Can't I Have a Baby coverproddaughterbookcoverjpg1-661x1024

 

May 2, 2016
Return to top of page

A Miracle Story of Love, Family, and Restoration

8

Ricky praising

Most Sunday mornings, Ricky was in the front row of church, sitting next to his parents Jean and Don. Often Ricky would accompany the worship team by playing the drums, strategically placed for him next to his front-row seat. I’m told that at one time, he joined the praise band on stage.

Ricky and drums

When Dave and I moved to Garden Valley and started attending Crouch Community Church, we didn’t know the history of the Brown family. We did, however, immediately see the love this senior couple had for each other—always holding hands—and for their adult son, Ricky, who occasionally had to have his drumsticks quieted after the music had stopped playing.

You see Ricky was a very special son, and as the church overflowed with family and friends at Ricky’s memorial last week, we learned more about just how special he was. If you have a special person in your life who can’t communicate clearly, or at all, there’s probably a depth of spirit like Ricky displayed in unique ways. God has a way of gifting these special people with love, compassion, and spiritual insight.

[Tweet “If you have a special person in your life who can’t communicate clearly, or at all, there’s probably a depth of spirit”]

Enjoy Ricky’s miracle story, shared at his memorial service, and his family now shares with you:

 

Ricky Lee Brown born August 28, 1956, passed from the arms of his parents to the arms of Jesus on Saturday March 19, 2016, at the age of 59. Ricky left behind . . . for now . . . his parents, Don and Jean Brown, his sisters Sheri, Cindy, and Lindi, and countless family and friends.

Ricky’s life story is one of restoration, the strong bond of a loving family, and the unending miracles of God.

[Tweet “A miracle story of restoration, the strong bond of family, and the unending miracles of God.”]

Ricky is the firstborn, and only son, of Don and Jean Brown. At birth, he only weighed 4 lbs. 10 oz., and it took a month for him to gain enough weight to come home from the hospital. This was the beginning of nine and a half months in and out of hospitals.

During that time, doctors and family members suggested putting Ricky in Nampa State School. Doctors said with Ricky’s health and physical issues, he wouldn’t live past eleven or twelve and would never walk. With the overwhelming advice from doctors and family, Don and Jean went through the court system and made Ricky a ward of the state when he was 8 1/2 months old. It was the most painful thing that Don and Jean had ever done.

They visited Ricky regularly and introduced him to his three sisters Sheri, Cindy, and Lindi. Right from the beginning, Ricky was compassionate. Jean remembers one time when he was in the state home, a baby started to cry. Ricky pulled himself with his arms over to the crib and patted the baby, trying to comfort it.

To everyone’s amazement, Ricky miraculously started walking at age eleven—the age doctors had predicted he wouldn’t live past—and he finally stopped running a persistent high fever. His sister, Cindy, started working at the Nampa State School in her late teens so she could spend more time with Ricky.

In his twenties, the family moved Ricky to a group home in the Boise area as part of a new program to try to teach life and work skills to disabled individuals. After Ricky’s three sisters left home, the Browns were able to visit Ricky more frequently.

Ricky loved classic country music and liked listening to it loud!

He also loved to tear apart anything he could get his hands on—radios, bikes, and in later years, his clothes. He loved to gas up the car, even if it was only to top it off.

[Tweet “Ricky could only put five words together, at most, but he used those words “]

Ricky could only put five words together, at most, but he used those words to ask people: if they were going to work? If they had a payday? And if they were going to church? Ricky’s happy smile and his thumbs up were his trademarks!

smiling RickyRicky thumbs up

Another Miracle

When Ricky was thirty-seven, he became extremely ill while still living in the group home, so Don and Jean made the decision to bring him home. Doctors told the Browns they would just be taking him home to die, but they said, “So be it. He’s our son, and we want him with us.”

By the grace of God and the help of family, they discovered that the current health problems were yeast related. Jean found a book on how to treat yeast with diet, and she became vigilant with Ricky’s diet and nursed him back to health. This same son, who doctors said would not live past eleven or twelve, would never walk, and was sent home at thirty-seven to die, fully recovered from the “terminal” illness! That’s what God, love, and family can do!

Don and Jean couldn’t bear the thought of giving Ricky up again, so he continued to live with them and they started the parenting season all over again. The Lord redeemed the years they lost while Ricky was in group homes, and they had twenty-three glorious years living together as family.

Ricky and sisters

Ricky’s relationship with his sisters and other family members flourished as he became a part of family reunions, jam sessions, weddings, and birthday parties. As a trio, Don, Jean, and Ricky traveled the country playing music and enjoying countless adventures. One of Ricky’s greatest loves was the drums. He had a set in his room and spent hours listening to music and playing along. He also spent hours tearing his drum set apart. He loved smashing cans and taking them to the recycling center for a “payday,” which he promptly put in the offering box at church.

Family picture

Ricky and Don on horse

 

Ricky and Don camping

As Ricky got older, he enjoyed putting together puzzles and sorting coins or Legos. Amazingly, he was able to put puzzles together picture-side down on the table. For someone doctors said wouldn’t live past eleven, and would surely die at thirty-seven, Ricky enjoyed a long life of almost 60 years surrounded by his loving family, friends, and community.

[Tweet ” For someone doctors said wouldn’t live past eleven and would surely die at thirty-seven,”]

Ricky touched many lives with his joyful spirit and his love for Jesus. Just as Jesus said in Matthew 18:3, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,” Ricky was a great example of childlike innocent faith. We know that right now he is enthusiastically enjoying heaven.

*********

The Brown family hopes that Ricky’s miracle story has been a blessing to you, and especially an encouragement to all who have a “Ricky” in their life. If you have a story to share with the Browns, or want to tell them how their sweet restoration story touched you, please leave a comment to encourage them and pray for them as they grieve the loss of their beloved son.

If you received this blog by email, you can comment here.

April 4, 2016
Return to top of page

Conquering “Shoulditis”

0

SuperMomMyth_LOWRezBecky Kopitzke is a fellow mentor mom over at The MOM Initiative with a new book I thought you would all enjoy learning about. Her topic in this blog is “shoulditis,” and I know we all suffer from shoulda, coulda, why didn’t I?, why aren’t I as good?,  . . . we’ve all been there.  Becky reminds us that God made each of us unique with our own gifts and talents and all He expects is that we use them to His glory!

Enjoy this post by Becky:

Have you heard of a common debilitating condition infecting women today? It’s called “shoulditis”—otherwise known as I should do that disease. I’ve got it. You probably do, too. Symptoms flare up under the most ordinary circumstances.

When my friend calls to say she’s taking a Zumba class, I think of how long it’s been since my sneakers hit the gym, and my own voice whispers in my head, I should do that.

When I scroll through Pinterest and see a dozen photos of cutesy craft projects other moms created with their children, I’m deflated. I should do that.

When my parenting magazine plugs a recipe for brownies using hidden carrot puree, I think of the Duncan Hines box stashed in my cupboard. Carrots are way healthier. I should do that.

Vacation plans. Extreme couponing. Colon-cleansing diets. Reading lists, scrapbooks, chore charts, and hand-sewn purses. Monkey-face pancakes, are you kidding me? She does it! I should do it, too!

But I can’t do everything, can I?

[Tweet “You can’t do everything! And you shouldn’t.”]

Can you?

And that is the pain of shoulditis. It assumes we are supposed to be someone else—or a hundred someone elses. Our spirits inflame with an impossible itch to be as clever, resourceful, energetic, artsy, and self-disciplined as those other women.

Reality check. They can’t do everything, either.

We all have our own things—our talents, interests, commitments, priorities. Yours aren’t better than mine, and mine aren’t better than yours. They’re just different.

[Tweet “God is fantastically creative, and He gave us each a unique blend of gifts. “]

Why? Because God is fantastically creative, and He gave us each a unique blend of gifts. Trying to do it all is a waste of time. It’s like saying God got it wrong. On the flip side, doing what He created us to do—that’s worship.

 [Tweet “Doing what God created us to do—that’s worship.”]

“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us” (1 Corinthians 12:4–6 NLT).

So. Let’s slap some salve on that shoulditis, shall we? (Say that five times fast.)

The antidote is: I should not do that.

When the neighbors rent a mega bounce house for their son’s birthday party, I will tell myself, I should not do that. My children have winter birthdays, anyway. We can’t fit a bounce house in the kitchen.

When my friend runs a half marathon—good for her! But I should not do that. Stroller walks are more my pace.

When that sweet lady in the church choir raves about her make-ahead freezer meals, I definitely should not do that. This momma prefers to spend Sunday afternoon playing Scrabble with the kids. I will grab some frozen chicken patties from the supermarket and call them dinner.

So let’s all agree—you should do what you do, and I should do what I do, and together we will create a supportive, well-rounded community of women who love what they do and really can do it all—collectively.

“All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12:27 NLT).

This post contains an excerpt from The SuperMom Myth: Conquering the Dirty Villains of Motherhood (Shiloh Run Press) by Becky Kopitzke. Used by permission.

# # #

About the book

Does your journey through motherhood look different from what you imagined?

Do you struggle to measure up to your own standards?

Do you sometimes wish you could be like that other mom who seems to have it all together?

You are not alone.

The Supermom Myth: Conquering the Dirty Villains of Motherhood, a new book by Christian mom blogger Becky Kopitzke, is designed to encourage imperfect moms to laugh at ourselves, forgive ourselves, and discover the beautiful moms God created within. Delivered with down-to-earth humor and carefully applied biblical insight, The SuperMom Myth explores eight personified “dirty villains” of motherhood, including The Grouch on the Couch (Anger), Worry Woman (Fear), The Calendar Queen (Busyness), and more. Throughout this delightful read for every mom, Kopitzke offers a gentle reminder to rest in the super power of our grace-filled God.

Visit www.TheSuperMomMyth.com for more information, including trailer videos, reviews, and details on where to buy copies for yourself and your mom friends.

About the author

Becky KopitzkeBecky Kopitzke is the author of The SuperMom Myth: Conquering the Dirty Villains of Motherhood (Shiloh Run Press). As a writer, speaker, singer, dreamer, lunch packer, snowman builder and recovering perfectionist, Becky believes parenting is one of God’s greatest tools for building our faith, character, and strength—and it’s not always pretty.

On her devotional blog, beckykopitzke.com, she offers weekly encouragement for fellow imperfect moms, pointing our weaknesses, blessings, and victories to God.

Becky lives messily ever after with her loving husband and their two young daughters in northeast Wisconsin, where a pink indoor trampoline fills half the once formal living room. Connect with Becky on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram.

If you received this blog by email, comment here.

February 1, 2016
Return to top of page

In God’s Hands

4

Open handsRosalie Campbell and I have been friends for many years. We met at a Mount Hermon Christian Writer’s Conference when Rosalie became interested in my Woman to Woman Mentoring resources, since she also has a heart for mentoring. Rosalie answered God’s call to start Garden Path Ministries. We have stayed in touch over the years. Rosalie has since retired from her ministry and became a widow several years ago. She has shared several stories in my books and her church is currently starting a Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry. Read more at the end of this post about how God has used this sweet woman in the years since she became a Christian in her forties. I know you’ll be inspired to pray about the plans God has for you too.

I knew when I saw the email from Rosalie with an attachment that she was sending me another story. As I read “In God’s Hands,” I knew God wanted me to share Rosalie’s story with you. I’m sure there are many of you who can relate.

In God’s Hands by Rosalie Campbell

I haven’t been sleeping well for the past few weeks. When the stock market plummeted recently, I worried about my dwindling finances and investments. I felt like I was in a stew: constantly simmering over my circumstances and the difficult relationships with my three grown daughters.

One night, as I tossed and turned in bed, I mulled a hundred things over in my mind and plotted different scenarios for managing my life. Then God spoke to my heart. Even though He usually speaks in a still, small voice, His message was loud and clear. He told me, “Open your hands!” I thought, Okay, Lord. As I opened my hands and stretched them out, I realized I couldn’t hold onto anything with my fingers apart and palms open. I couldn’t even pull up the blanket.

God revealed, “This is how I want your hands – open – so I can take all that you have been holding onto: worries, concerns, hurts, regrets, hang-ups, disappointments, control of your circumstances, and the difficult relationships you face.

God reinforced that same message as I read the September devotional from In Touch Magazine. It was titled, “The Way to Finish Well,” which focuses on 2 Timothy 4:6-8. The author, Charles Stanley, asked the question: How can God’s people finish well in life?

[Tweet “How can God’s people finish well in life?”]

Stanley answered, “God doesn’t require us to have perfect lives in order to finish strong. We can live abundantly and be ready to meet our Maker by surrendering, walking victoriously with Christ, and serving others.”

I contemplated those words – surrendering, walking with Christ, and serving others.

When I think of surrender, I picture a thief caught with a bag of stolen goods. The cops or feds come in and tell that person, “Drop it and hold up your hands.”

[Tweet “God is neither a police officer nor a federal marshal insisting we release “our stuff.” “]

God is neither a police officer nor a federal marshal insisting we release “our stuff.” He is a mighty, loving God who is willing and able to carry all our burdens. Matthew 11:28 tells us, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Our part is to have a willingness to release those heavy weights to Him. Then He gives us peace. God doesn’t force us to drop our heavy load. Yet, He wants us to release it to Him because He knows if we continue to carry it, our well-being (mind, heart, soul) will be harmed.

I thought about all the concerns, hurts, and worries I needed to surrender to God. God’s Word says He would carry them instead of me. I liked the idea of releasing the whole heavy bundle of stuff I was carrying. I decided it was time to do it. I gave it all to Him!

The next step after surrender is to take God’s right hand. Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Those words assure me I will be safe and secure at His side. With my left hand in His, God will support, guide, direct, and help me. My right hand is free to reach out to others: to serve and help them. Proverbs 31:20 says, “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”

?????????????????????????????????

[Tweet “The process of surrender resembles a cross. “]

This was a simple yet powerful life lesson for me. The whole process resembles a cross. As I stand firm on the foundation of God’s Word (Jesus Christ), I raise my hands up to God, then surrender and let Him have all control of my life. Then I give my one hand to God so He can guide me on my life’s journey and my other hand is free to serve others. I become an extension of God’s love and grace.

I felt an amazing sense of relief as I surrendered my finances for God to resolve. Now my part is to stay within a limited budget and be wise with the money I have left.

I have also surrendered my relationships with my three daughters. Over the years, I have desperately tried various ways to receive their love (with gifts, trips, lunches out) so I could feel good about being their mother. It finally dawned on me that I had been looking to them to bring me fulfillment. The truth is: they are not at a place or mindset to give me their love or respect. I have been “looking for love in all the wrong places” as the song goes. My daughters are not perfect; they can only give me a fraction of the love I need.

I was looking for unconditional love. The unconditional and perfect love comes from God. My fulfillment comes from Him because He fills all my needs. As I seek Him, God is the One who gives me the full measure of the love I need. I stand confident and assured that He will never leave me or forsake me. He is by my side holding my hand. As I hold onto God’s hand and walk with Him, He directs my path. He has a plan and purpose for me. He wants me to love and serve others.

God, through His Holy Spirit, equips me with spiritual gifts. He gives me opportunities to utilize those gifts. My role, as a godly woman, is to reach out with my hands to those in need.  

[Tweet “My role, as a godly woman, is to reach out with my hands to those in need. “]

What we do with our hands is crucial to leading a fulfilling life.

How have you seen God use your hands when you surrender all to Him?

If you received this blog by email, comment here.

Rosalie Campbell

Rosalie Campbell accepted the Lord Jesus in her life while in her 40’s. As a new Christian, she was discipled for two years by a godly woman from her church. Rosalie worked as an interior designer in her own company, Design Trends, for over twenty years. God urged her to serve in ministry by “decorating hearts instead of homes.” She reached out to women who struggled with emotional hurts and led a Bible study for divorced and widowed women then started support groups for ACADF (Adult Children of Alcoholics or Dysfunctional Families). After seven years of facilitating these groups, she wrote a study, Come Back to the Garden, for women who wanted to find restoration from past hurts.
In 1998, Rosalie founded and established Garden Path Ministries as a non-profit organization to educate, equip and encourage women in transition and crisis situations.

In 2002, she had an opportunity to offer her garden study as a correspondence course for women in prison. These courses matched Christian women on the outside to encourage women inside the bars. In 2008, GPM filmed a series called Living Skills for Success, an eight-part video series with qualified Christian speakers on topics to help female inmates re-enter society and lead productive lives. This program continued until 2012. The correspondence course is still being used in prisons in California, Texas and Oklahoma. Over the years, GPM trained many women from local churches to be respondents to inmates doing the course as well as volunteers for ministry work.

Rosalie felt God urging her to write two studies for men and women in prison that would be easily understood and give the basics for spiritual growth. Turning from Darkness to Light and The Shepherd’s Voice are distributed to inmates through the chaplains at prisons Arizona and California. Over 7,350 of these studies in English and Spanish have been sent to inmates.

In 2012, God opened a new door of opportunity for Garden Path Ministries. When a retired parole officer in Riverside County, CA volunteered for the ministry, she saw the need to help people make the transition from prison to life on the outside. She arranged to get a vacant office space in Moreno Valley, CA donated for ministry use.
With the grace of God, FOCUS Outreach Center was birthed and has expanded to three office spaces. GPM began offering the Living Skills program to women recently paroled. This outreach ministry took a different direction due to the needs in the community. Because of the many homeless people who camp nearby, FOCUS now provides food (serving over 630 meals per month) clothing, haircuts, and court approved programs for recovery, parenting, anger management, domestic violence drug and alcohol counseling. Today, ninety-five percent of the clients of FOCUS are men.

Rosalie is still very active in the ministry. Her journey in ministry has been a joyful yet challenging one. It took many twists and turns, ups and downs. Through it all God led the way. All that has been done has been through the amazing grace of the LORD. A wise pastor once told Rosalie, “A good leader will work her out of a job and turn it over to another qualified person who wants to serve the Lord.” Recently, she turned over the administrative duties of GPM and FOCUS Outreach Center into the capable hands of a devoted volunteer, Teddi Vesey.
This year, Rosalie started Janet Thompson’s, Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at her church in Menifee, CA.

October 19, 2015
Return to top of page
« Previous Page
Next Page »
Return to top of page · Copyright © 2026 Crown Laid Down Designs All Rights Reserved · Our Privacy Policy