Ten Ways To Survive the Holidays When You’re Infertile

Adapted for Mother’s Day from Laura Christenson, a Mommy-in-Waiting with her story in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? and author of The Adoption Decision.

If the mere thought of babies being handled by fawning relatives or the celebration of mothers is enough to make you burst into tears and run for cover, try the following alternatives. You’ll not only survive Mother’s Day; you may even celebrate it joyfully and triumphantly.

1. Take charge. Organize a party for the childless couples and singles in your church. Have a potluck at one of your homes.

2. Just say “No.” Graciously decline invitations to child-oriented events. Send a note or gift to the hosts, letting them know how much you appreciate them.


3. Pray. If you plan to share the day with extended family or friends, pray for patience, wisdom and strength. Contact a trusted family member before your arrival and schedule a leisurely walk together during the party.


4. Send cards from Kitty. Send cards to your mom’s from you both and your cat, dog, cockatoo or hamster.


5. Run away from home. Take a mini vacation with your spouse to a romantic bed and breakfast inn. Make your marriage – not your baby quest – top priority during this time. Remind each other that it doesn’t take a child to make a family; you and your spouse are a family already.

6. Learn a sport together. Go for a long bike-ride, take a walk together, go to a movie, or indulge in a sport you like to do together like tennis or golf or work in the garden.

7. Get crafty. Create handmade greeting cards, design jewelry or make flower arrangements. Give them to all the moms and grandmothers in nursing homes.

8. Serve selflessly. Focus on serving your own moms, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, mother-in-laws, and sister-in-laws.

9. Wax poetic. Compose a romantic song or poem for your spouse.

10. Write a love letter to God. Thank Him for giving you life, and for loving you more than you can comprehend. Ask Him to guide you through this difficult time. God is always there to listen, and He understands.

Adapted from page 269 in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey.
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A Perfect Gift for Mommies-in-Waiting on Mother’s Day


Mother’s Day is torture for a mommy-in-waiting. Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey is a gift of hope and encouragement for these women. To read my daughter Kim’s journal on Mother’s Day the year before she became a mommy, and also for tips to surviving any holiday while waiting on God’s plan for parenthood, go to pages 140 and 269. Or “Look Inside” on Amazon.

[Tweet “Mommies-in-Waiting feel left out and overlooked on a day that honors those of us who are mothers”]

Mommies-in-Waiting feel left out and overlooked on a day that honors those of us who are mothers. Don’t ignore or minimize the pain an infertile woman is feeling. Let her know you care with a gift that is a “walk-along-beside-you,” and “I-understand-because I’ve-been-in your-shoes” book.

 [Tweet “Don’t ignore or minimize the pain an infertile woman is feeling.”]

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Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter is for Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Legal Guardians, Mentors, Friends of Prodigals

I have received many emails from parents, and recently a grandmother wrote me that she is raising three of her daughter’s children. I speak to these grandparents in the book, and I know there are many of you out there who find yourself raising your children’s children. I know you are using the book to pray for your daughter or son, but also be praying for your precious grandchildren exposed to the sins of their parents. How blessed these grandchildren are to have grandparents, who in their golden years, are providing love and shelter to the next generation. Here is a line from this precious grandmother who contacted me: “Please pray for my daughter because I want my child to be in heaven with me.”

The fear of not seeing my daughter, Kim, in heaven is what kept me on my knees diligently and persistently praying for her salvation. If you have a daughter or son who is keeping you on your knees—don’t give up. Remember he or she is not the enemy, Satan is, and the only proven way to fight Satan is with the Word of God—Scripture.

So learn to pray scripture for your child or grandchild or niece or nephew or friend… It is simply personalizing scriptures that speak to you. If any of you have prayed like this before, please share your experience. Praying God’s Word back to Him is what kept me praying God’s will and not my own for my daughter.

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