children — Page 3 — Woman to Woman Mentoring

Jesus Loves You

I don’t have to tell you that yesterday was Valentine’s Day—the universal day for showing and sharing love. Red and pink hearts were everywhere and it was fun to see many of the women, and some men, at church wearing red and pink. The bouquet of red roses next to the Bible at the front of the church, reminded me of how appropriate it was that Valentine’s Day was on a Sunday this year, because we were in church honoring our First Love: Jesus Christ.

The children of our church will never forget this Valentine’s Day either, and Who we should love above all others. When the congregation walked out of the sanctuary into the fellowship hall, the children’s ministry during Sunday school had decorated the entire ceiling with heart shaped balloons and streamers. At the end of each streamer was a card with a handwritten note from the children: “Jesus loves you” and “God loves you.”

The children were so excited to see us all walk into the room and ooh and ah over how beautiful the room looked.

My heart swelled as I thought about the precious Sunday school teachers who helped these children focus on Jesus as our First Love and serve the congregation. In Forsaken God, Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten, I stress how important it is for the next generation not to just hear about the love of Jesus, but to experience His love personally and then to share it.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Love is a word we use freely….

I love pizza!
I love pink!
I love my husband!
I love my kids!
I love my new vacuum!
I love my new shoes!

Obviously, if we were prioritizing that list, we love our husbands and kids more than we love pizza or shoes. But would we put Jesus at the top of the list?

If you’re married, how could you possibly differentiate between your husband and your children as your first love? If you have more than one child . . . how could you determine which one of them you love first? You can’t.

But when you make Jesus your FIRST love . . . He gives you the ability to have limitless love for Him and for others.

[Tweet “when you make Jesus your FIRST love . . . He gives you the ability to have limitless love for Him and for others. “]

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.” —Matthew 22:37-40 The Message

Remembering Jesus, Your First Love

Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 21 in Forsaken God?, “Remembering His Love”:

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One of the first verses we learn as children or new believers is John 3:16. This verse emphasizes how much God loves the world and wants everyone to have an opportunity to trust in him and his Son, Jesus Christ, and have eternal salvation. It’s hard to imagine how anyone would turn down this kind of sacrificial love, but you and I both know people who don’t accept God’s love invitation. Sadly, they don’t understand the consequences of rejecting God’s love. The Message translation of John 3:16-18 clearly states their fate:

This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.

[Tweet “Loving God is a lifetime relationship. He never falls out of love with us.”]

Loving God is a lifetime relationship. He never falls out of love with us; but believers who have fallen away from God, or who don’t love him the way they did at first, are cautioned in Revelation 2:4-5 to remember and repent … or else:

But I have this [one charge to make] against you: that you have left (abandoned) the love that you had at first [you have deserted Me, your first love]. Remember then from what heights you have fallen. Repent (change the inner man to meet God’s will) and do the works you did previously [when first you knew the Lord], or else I will visit you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you change your mind and repent. (AMP).

Do you remember the zeal and excitement you had as a new believer? How grateful you were for salvation and Jesus’ love and the intensity of your love for him … the thrill of feeling forgiven. You wanted to tell everyone about Jesus, until you realized not everyone was receptive to hearing about your new love. You became more cautious about sharing your faith for fear of rejection or ridicule. Your enthusiasm waned and soon you didn’t talk about Jesus unless you were with believers, and maybe not much then either.

In the beginning of your faith walk, you had enthusiasm without knowledge. Don’t let knowledge and time diminish enthusiasm. Spiritual maturity should intensify adoration, not spawn complacency. Otherwise, your light will dim, as will your relationship with Christ, and you won’t effectively share Christ’s love with others. Remember, Jesus extinguishes lights that don’t shine brightly for him (Rev. 2:5).

God wants us to maintain the passion and excitement we had when we first fell in love with His Son, Jesus Christ and He wants that love to motivate everything we do and say and never forget how much He love us and we love Him. Only when we place Jesus first in our life and heart, can we love others with a genuine Christ-like love. His love fuels us to be better wives, mothers, and grandmothers. Jesus helps us serve our families—and Him—lovingly, not dutifully.

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Ways To Return To Our First Love

[Tweet “Periodically, we have to rekindle and reignite first-love fire in our relationship with Jesus. “]

Periodically, we have to rekindle and reignite first-love fire in our relationship with Jesus. The following acrostic for L O V E helps me keep Jesus in first place in my life and I hope it helps you too

L-inger with Him!

“Oh, how I love your instructions! I think about them all day long.” —Psalm 119:97 NLT

Let’s find ways to have a quiet time with the Lord daily and talk to Him all day long as we go about our life.

O–bsess Over Him!

“I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together.” —Psalm 34:1-3 NLT

The dictionary describes obsession as:

Preoccupied
Dominated
Fixed
Immersed in
Gripped by
An Infatuation
A Passion

Let’s be deliriously, madly, obsessively, and passionately in love with Jesus!

V-alue Him!

“Let the whole earth sing to the Lord! Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does. Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods.” —1 Chronicles 16:23-25

Synonyms for value:

Worthy
Worship
Love

Let’s show Jesus how worthy He is of our love through our worship and praise.

E–njoy Him!

“I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence.” —Proverbs 8:30 NIV

Let’s enjoy being a Christian and let the world know we LOVE Jesus!

[Tweet “Let’s enjoy being a Christian and let the world know we LOVE Jesus!”]

When we L O V E Jesus Christ with total abandonment, our hearts change—we can then love others as Jesus commanded:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

—John 13:34-35 NIV

Share with us ways you’ve found to keep Jesus first in your life!

If you received this blog by email, leave comments here.

*Excerpts of this blog are from my new release Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten.

February 15, 2016

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Mother’s Day: Happy or Hurting

“I hate Mother’s Day!” said my dear friend who is longing for a baby. “You know that women struggling with infertility don’t go to church on Mother’s Day.” Kris agrees, “I was that mom-in-waiting for 16 years; I stayed away from baby showers, church, and friends who would get pregnant. I didn’t stop praying, but it WAS the worse pain.” Lisa concurs, “I am guilty of having skipped church a few years before we adopted my son.”

In my book, Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey, my own daughter wrote about her painful Mother’s Day experience:

Dear God,

It’s almost Mother’s Day and I don’t know if I can handle seeing all those happy moms at church and brunch. I’m trying to focus on my mom and not think about how I’m missing out on being a mommy on yet another Mother’s Day. This year is especially hard since we’ve been trying to be parents for so long and so hard, only to be repeatedly disappointed. At the store looking for a card for my mom, I see the cute cards at the end of the aisle “To Mommy”…oh God, I wish I were someone’s mommy! I look away and continue focusing at the task ahead, getting my mom and mothers-in-law their cards.

Today’s the day, it’s Mother’s Day. I don’t think I can bear it. It’s just begun and already I want this day over. I pull myself out of bed and get ready for church. I’m not looking forward to the sermon about children being a blessing and honoring mothers. God, help me focus on my mom.

We met my parents at church and I put on my happy face, when inside I was crying watching all the mothers with big smiles dressed in pretty spring dresses and children running all around. This was a day of celebration and I just wanted to go back to bed. The pastor started the message with asking all the mothers to stand up. Hundreds of women stood and everyone applauded. I couldn’t take it any longer and sat slouched over in my seat quietly crying. Toby put his arm around me and my mom held my hand, but nothing took away the pain. I barely heard the rest of the message.

After brunch, I came home, collapsed on my bed, and cried myself to sleep where I remained the rest of the day. God, please don’t make me go through another Mother’s Day with this hole in my heart. I want to stand up in church with all those other mothers beaming from ear to ear and have everyone applaud me. God, please let me stand up next year.

Mother’s Day is especially hard for mommies-in-waiting, but for most of these women, every day is hard. With 1 in 6 couples experiencing infertility, you are, or know, a woman experiencing this heartache. Often we don’t know what to say to them, so we say nothing, or maybe unintentionally say something that makes them feel worse. Kris, who I mentioned in the opening paragraph, says, “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.”

In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?, I offer tools to help you know the “Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do And To Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility.” This list is also on the Infertility Support page on my website.

When I was writing the book, women often told me that the place they felt the loneliest was the church. That breaks my heart. Jesus said he came for the sick, and that includes heartsick. The church should be a safe place for the hurting, not a place where they feel shunned or outcast. How does your church comfort mommies-in-waiting on Mother’s Day and every day?

Mothers of Prodigals

Another group of women who will be hurting on Mother’s Day are the mothers of prodigals. They may not even know where there child is, or know all too well where they are and what they are doing that breaks a mother’s heart and the heart of God. These moms also need comforting, a hug, a reminder that this day is for them too and they are not forgotten or ignored.

I was that hurting mom and in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, I tell the story of praying daily that my daughter would find her way back to God, and six years later, she did. This Mother’s Day weekend she and I will be sharing our story at a Mother/Daughter tea. I’ve had a vision of us doing this for many years and prayed expectantly that God would bring my dream to life, and He has.

And Kim who was that heartsick mommy-in-waiting on Mother’s Day is now blessed with a family, but when we speak to the women God brings to this Mother’s Day Tea, neither of us will ever forget what it felt like to be hurting on Mother’s Day. We will speak with caring and compassion a comforting message of hope in God’s plan and timing. We won’t ignore these women, we will love on them!

I hope that you will do the same for the mommies-in-waiting, the moms of prodigals, or the moms who have lost a daughter or a son who may need a shoulder to cry on . . . a prayer . . . an understanding hug. If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. If you haven’t been in their shoes, just let them know you can’t possibly understand, but you’re there for them and God is too!

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

NOTE: Besides not knowing what to say, many of us don’t know what to give a mommy-in-waiting or a mom of a prodigal, and so we usually give them nothing. The books I have written for these women are full of hope and encouragement from the voices of other women who have walked the same journey, as well as from God’s Love Letter. So for the month of May I’m running a sale on my website for Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? and Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Another helpful book might be Face-to-Face with Sarah, Rachel, and Hannah: Pleading with God. I will sign and personalize each book.

May 6, 2013

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