Ten Ways To Survive the Holidays When You’re Infertile

Adapted for Mother’s Day from Laura Christenson, a Mommy-in-Waiting with her story in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? and author of The Adoption Decision.

If the mere thought of babies being handled by fawning relatives or the celebration of mothers is enough to make you burst into tears and run for cover, try the following alternatives. You’ll not only survive Mother’s Day; you may even celebrate it joyfully and triumphantly.

1. Take charge. Organize a party for the childless couples and singles in your church. Have a potluck at one of your homes.

2. Just say “No.” Graciously decline invitations to child-oriented events. Send a note or gift to the hosts, letting them know how much you appreciate them.


3. Pray. If you plan to share the day with extended family or friends, pray for patience, wisdom and strength. Contact a trusted family member before your arrival and schedule a leisurely walk together during the party.


4. Send cards from Kitty. Send cards to your mom’s from you both and your cat, dog, cockatoo or hamster.


5. Run away from home. Take a mini vacation with your spouse to a romantic bed and breakfast inn. Make your marriage – not your baby quest – top priority during this time. Remind each other that it doesn’t take a child to make a family; you and your spouse are a family already.

6. Learn a sport together. Go for a long bike-ride, take a walk together, go to a movie, or indulge in a sport you like to do together like tennis or golf or work in the garden.

7. Get crafty. Create handmade greeting cards, design jewelry or make flower arrangements. Give them to all the moms and grandmothers in nursing homes.

8. Serve selflessly. Focus on serving your own moms, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, mother-in-laws, and sister-in-laws.

9. Wax poetic. Compose a romantic song or poem for your spouse.

10. Write a love letter to God. Thank Him for giving you life, and for loving you more than you can comprehend. Ask Him to guide you through this difficult time. God is always there to listen, and He understands.

Adapted from page 269 in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey.

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