“If we are going to touch the people of our communities, we too must know their sorrows, feel for them in their temptations, stand with them in their heartbreaks.” Billy Graham
Loneliness might not be a topic that seems appropriate in this “Happiest-time-of-the-year” season filled with parties, joyful music, fun, family, gifts, food, jingle bells, presents, Christmas programs, cantatas, and plays. Maybe it’s not even something you feel like reading about right now . . . unless you are lonely or you know someone who isn’t happy or joyful. Not invited to parties, programs, and plays. Not having fun. Sad, depressed, despondent, and yes, lonely.
[Tweet “Being alone for a little while isn’t the same as lonely. There are times when we all want to have some alone time.”]
Being alone for a little while isn’t the same as lonely. There are times when we all want to have some alone time. I like to have my quiet time in the morning by myself. Just the Lord and me. Recently, my young granddaughter, who had just experienced a meltdown, said she needed some alone time to recover. When I’m writing, I need complete silence so I have to be alone in my office, just my computer and me. But these “alone times” are by choice, and we know that when we’re ready to come out of our “I want to be alone” cave, we can be social again.
Even Jesus needed to have alone time,
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16
You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.
I’m sure that Jesus experienced loneliness when His family and disciples misunderstood and misrepresented Him. Or those who were supposed to be His followers and friends betrayed Him. We can’t fathom the depth of His loneliness on the cross when even His Heavenly Father had to forsake Him.
We can experience loneliness in a crowd.
Maybe you don’t feel like you fit in. Or everyone else seems to know each other and you’re new. Or you’re single or widowed and there’s couples everywhere you look. Maybe it’s sitting by yourself in church or a school lunchroom.
Perhaps, you’re not comfortable with yourself anywhere, anytime.
I’m using “You” generically. Not a literal you, but a universal you. Or maybe it is you.
Christmas loneliness is especially raw . . .
Spiritually—When you don’t know this Jesus everyone is talking about born in a manger; or you do know about Him but haven’t gotten to know Him personally. Maybe you’re a Christian but not living a life Jesus would approve of so you’re trying to keep your distance from Him and the warmth of having Him nestled in your heart. Or you love Jesus passionately and know you’re never really alone, but at this time of year, you’re lonely. You need Jesus with skin on.
Physically—There’s no one to exchange gifts or celebrate with or you can’t make it home for Christmas. No invitations for Christmas dinner, or it’s not your year with the kids. Maybe your loved one is deployed, or you’re ill and you just want the pain to stop.
Emotionally—You’re grieving a loss. The first Christmas without a loved one. Waking up to an empty house or an empty heart. It’s been a hard year. You’re sad and the last thing you want to do is be around joyous people and put on a happy face.
Mentally—You’re depressed. Memories of past happier Christmases torment you as you’re inundated with all the Christmas trappings shouting that this is the best time of year. You want to shout back, and maybe you do in an inappropriate way. Or maybe you just try to numb the pain with pills or alcohol or food or ______________.
There are so many other reasons for loneliness, but this time of year magnifies each one, and probably if we’re honest, we’ve all felt the twinges of loneliness at some time in our life.
If You Are the Lonely One This Year
[Tweet “Make a plan. Don’t let Christmas loneliness engulf you this year.”]
My blogs are read by a diverse group of people and maybe as you read this one, tears started rolling down your face because I’m describing you. Make a plan. Don’t let Christmas loneliness engulf you. Here are some suggestions:
- Volunteer to serve somewhere in the community on Christmas eve or Christmas day or both.
- Offer to work for a fellow employee so they can be with their family.
- Visit a nursing home, hospital, or the elderly and play games or read the Christmas story to them or watch a Christmas movie together.
- Accept invitations from friends and family.
- Find others at church who don’t have plans and go out to dinner and a movie together or have a potluck.
If you’re depression and sadness don’t lift, reach out for help.
Here are toll free 24 hour confidential prayer lines to call and talk with prayer counselors who will pray with you.
The 700 Club 1-800-759-0700
Global Destiny Prayer Center 1-888-935-8100
TBN Prayer and Praise Line 1-888-731-1000
DAYSTAR 1-800-329-0029
BREAKTHROUGH 1-800-424-8644
We All Have a Story.
I remember one Christmas when I was a single mom and had to share holidays with my daughter’s dad. I was a Registered Dietitian at a hospital and had to work on Christmas day. So my daughter and I celebrated Christmas Eve, but when I came home to an empty house after work on Christmas Day, tears of loneliness burst into sobs. I vowed to never work on Christmas Day again, and I didn’t.
[Tweet “Do you know someone who is lonely and as you read this blog, the Lord is tugging at your heart to invite that person to join your Christmas festivities.”]
Maybe you know someone who is lonely and as you read this blog, the Lord is tugging at your heart to invite that person to join your Christmas festivities. Yes, inviting him or her to Christmas Eve services might be a start, but remember they might still feel lonely in your familiar place. Introduce them to your friends, but keep the focus on your guest or guests and then include them in what you’re doing after church.
Dave and I enjoy going to dinner with elderly couples we know who have no one to celebrate with on Christmas Eve. Over the years, the group has gotten smaller as some have passed away or aren’t able to participate. Several years, it’s been pizza at one of their homes when they can’t come out on a snowy night. It’s become a cherished tradition for us and each year is a little different depending on where these couples are physically and mentally.
[Tweet “What is God asking you to do right now to extend Christ’s love and hospitality to those who are lonely this Christmas?”]
What is God asking you to do right now to extend Christ’s love and hospitality to those who are lonely this Christmas? You might even save a life.
When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13 NLT
God places the lonely in families. Psalm 68:8a NLT. Maybe in your family!
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Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
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