How “God Winks” Can Help Us Through Difficult Times

When I said in my last blog that I’d be taking a break for my husband’s knee replacement surgery, I didn’t expect to be MIA for six weeks. We heard stories of people having this surgery as outpatient or at best coming home the next day. I had no idea the journey that lay before us and we’re still venturing on, but God did. My husband continuously says he doesn’t know how anyone goes through this without God!

Praise God, He was our constant companion, even though I must admit I had a few meltdowns along the way!!!

For those of you who prayed for us, we’re grateful. Please keep praying! If you didn’t know about what we were going through, I’m sure you know someone having a difficult time right now and I encourage you to stop reading for a moment and pray for them. They’ll feel your prayers. They need your prayers.

Back to our story . . .

Dave got off to a rocky start when he had a bad reaction to the meds and anesthesia used during surgery. While he was in the hospital for five days, his oldest daughter Michelle and I were with him all day and evening. Michelle had flown out from Chicago to help us with his transition home.

Then to my shock, the doctors determined he wasn’t home ready and needed to go to a rehab facility where he would be placed in COVID quarantine. We could no longer see him! He had a negative COVID test right before they moved him, and we were all vaccinated, but those were “the rules.”

We walked with him as they wheeled him down the sidewalk to the rehab facility, but when the elevator doors shut, I was shut out of his life. Half of my heart ripped away!

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, ⁸ and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. ⁹ Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 2:7-9

I’d been his advocate in the hospital and now I was standing on the outside. I couldn’t stop crying. I’m crying now just remembering. I was one of those people you read about kept from their suffering loved ones. It’s reality to me now. It’s cruel.

I came home alone and Michelle flew home. Our family’s only visible communication with Dave, doctors, therapists, and nurses was FaceTime. Dave was there for eight days where he received physical, occupational, and recreational therapy and excellent care, but this was so beyond what we had anticipated.

I stared blankly when people asked, “Why?” Every time I heard that question, or about people who came home the next day, it only made me feel worse. Sad. Heartsick. Despondent.

There’s a lesson for us all. When someone is going through a traumatic experience, hearing how someone else sailed through it only impounds the hurt and trauma. All I wanted was a hug or a prayer. Compassion.

My worst nightmare became reality when 5’5” 122 lb. me, who had recently had surgery, would be bringing home by myself 6’4” 230 lb. hubby who could barely stand up and move by himself, even with a walker. He would have to stay in our basement “Man Cave.” It would be a long time before he could navigate stairs up to our living level.

And so the journey began even though I felt completely inadequate for what God was asking me to do on my own to successfully help this man I love so much recover well and safely. It seemed overwhelming. It was overwhelming.

But of course, I wasn’t completely alone. That’s when the God Winks started!

God Winks Don’t Miss Them!

Dave and I had prayed before his surgery and during his recovery that we would be a witness and light for God’s goodness to everyone we met, and that they would see Jesus in us, no matter what. Maybe that prayer set us on this trajectory because God wanted to use us for His glory. I can’t say I always represented Him well. My emotions at times overtook me when I couldn’t stop crying or heard myself having an unkind outburst, but there were also some amazing experiences where God’s glory shown through in spite of us.

God Wink #1

I thought daughter Michelle came to help after we got home, but it turned out God wanted to use her to support me while Dave was in the hospital and through the experience of sending him off to rehab. Michelle was my rock, a calm and steady voice, gentle pat on my back, and hug that guided me through the crisis and chaos. When I was too upset to eat, she located a smoothie shop nearby that’s now become my favorite!

We live 1 ½ hours from the hospital and rehab. So our daughter Kim, who lives closer, welcomed Michelle and me to stay as long as we needed, which meant my two granddaughters gave up their bedrooms and slept on the couch. No complaining. That’s what love does.

While I was away from home, neighbors Joni and Mike, who are also part of our Couples Bible Study Group, watered our plants and mowed our lawn. Mike takes our trash to the dump when he’s home. (We live in the rural mountains, no trash service.)

God Wink #2

One of the male nurses in the hospital stopped in Dave’s room, even though Dave wasn’t his patient that day, and said he had looked up my books on my website! He was a Christian too.

When Dave was in rehab, I brought some of his favorite juice to help him get more fluids since his BP kept dropping. The nurse that came to the door began comforting me about not being able to see him and I noticed the cross around her neck. Turns out, she’s a Christian also and Dave was her patient for the day. I knew he was in God’s hands.

She assured me that rehab was right where he needed to be. He wasn’t capable of coming home yet, but they would work to get him ready. Rehab was actually a God-Wink blessing.

God Wink #3

Several days before I brought Dave home, three men from church came over and helped prepare the Man Cave by taking off doors, moving furniture, making repairs, and taking Dave’s recliner downstairs.

God Wink #4

Leanna, a dear friend from our Couple’s Bible Study Group, got up early to leave at 6:30 am to drive down to Boise with me to pick up Dave from rehab. I don’t function well early morning, but with Leanna in the car and Jesus at the wheel, it was a beautiful morning even though it had been a rainstorm the day before.

God Wink #5

Dave’s second night home he had cramps in his calf and shooting pains down his leg. He was wreathing and crying in pain. Hot compresses helped but he couldn’t stand up. Leanna, who called me every day, had said call us no matter what time of night. So I did. She and her husband Bob and muscular son Ty came right over and the men got Dave up out of the chair and into bed. Ty gave me his number to text if I needed him in the middle of the night or next day.

God Wink #6

Friends Cynthia and Tom, who were dropping off food they had bought for us at COSTCO, were here when the doctor’s office called about Dave’s leg cramps and shooting pains. We needed to bring him to ER (1 ½ hours away) for an ultrasound to rule out blood clots. When we got off the phone, Tom said he would drive us and Cynthia said she would sit at our house and wait for UPS to drop off medication that needed a signature.

This was the Friday of Memorial Day Weekend, a heavily traveled day in our area and I had been up all night with Dave. This couple was having a family reunion at their home in a few days, but Cynthia said that taking time to help us was confirmation to her that God had the reunion under control! Praise God there were no blood clots.

God Wink #6

The following day, the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, daughter Kim and hubby Toby came up to plant our garden, mow our lawn and do other things on my “to-do” list.

God Wink #7

Memorial Day, Barb from our Couple’s Group stopped by to ask where I needed help. She folded all my laundry and vacuumed my whole house! Amazing timing since around 4:30 pm I got a text from long-time friends from Arizona, Debbie and Jerry, that they were about an hour away and what did I need at the store?! I thought they were coming the next day, but thanks to Barb, my house was ready and I had food to feed them because Gene, another friend from church, had brought over a tray of her famous enchiladas the day before!

Debbie and Jerry had planned this trip to visit us before we knew Dave was having surgery and they said they would only still come if they could be of help. I said, “Oh yes! Please come. I need help!”

They were visiting angels as Jerry is an amazing “handyman” and Debbie just pitched in and saw the many things that needed doing while I was tending to Dave downstairs. Together they cut down on the thousands of steps I was taking up and down the stairs. Debbie went with me to Boise to grocery shop and go to a doctor’s appointment with me to take notes when my brain was exhausted.

I was sad to see them go, but we all were aware of God’s timing in bringing them to “visit” when I needed them most. I finally felt a little rested and ready to tackle Dave’s recovery on our own.

God Wink #8

Now for the over-the-top presence of the Lord showing His face in an act of kindness of two strangers, Scott and Donna May. Physical therapy recommended we get a recumbent bike for Dave. I put a request on our local community Facebook page and began getting messages about bikes for sale. One in particular looked perfect but it was pricey even used. Then there appeared a message from a gentleman who said he had one he could loan us that they only use in the winter and he could deliver it?!

I asked for a picture and it was the exact one I had considered buying. I messaged back thanking him for his generosity and he responded, “Christians help Christians!” I wondered how he knew I was a Christian, but I certainly told him he was an answer to prayer.

When Scott and Donna May brought the bike over the next day, I asked how he knew I was a Christian. Scott laughingly admitted he had looked at my profile and website to be sure I was someone he could trust to return the bike LOL!

Donna May said she refers to these serendipity experiences as “God Winks.” I assured them that God had definitely been winking at us.

And He still continues. Neighbors Bob and Theresa, also in our Couples Group, called and said they’d noticed our lawn getting pretty long again. Could they come over the next morning and mow and spray for mosquitoes. Bob also stops by and picks up our bags of trash to take to the dump.

A physical therapist we’ve been working with in town was concerned about Dave using our shower if we moved him upstairs and offered to come over to our house after work and check it out! He did a survey of our home while he was here to give us tips on moving Dave back upstairs, which we did several days later.

What’s the Take Away from Our God Winks?

1. Ask for Help!

Don’t try to go things on your own. Let people know where and when you need help! We also asked for prayer and I know our church was praying for us and for God to watch over us.

Many times people will just say, “Let us know when you need help.” But then we don’t because we don’t know what kind of help they’re prepared to give and we don’t want to be an imposition.

2. Receive Help

It’s a blessing for others to bless you! Let them. Yes, it’s humbling and maybe even embarrassing, but the Bible tells us that “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ¹⁰ If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Ecc. 4:9-10 NLT

3. Join or Form a Bible Study Group

Our Couples Bible Study Group have been through many things together and as one woman in church put it, “Your group is really tight.” We’re there for each other to celebrate the good times, help each other through the difficult times, pray and learn more together how God wants us to navigate the world through the wisdom in His Word.

4. Be Alert to Who Needs a God Wink

Because people are reticent to ask for help, or impose, let’s try and notice when and where someone needs help and then just do it. I’m sure there’s someone in your life who needs a “God Wink” right now!

Note: There are many issues in the world today that I want to write about, but I’ve been so consumed with our issues that I didn’t have the energy or brain-power to tackle them. For several nights after I returned home alone, I couldn’t even turn on the news to hear the world’s troubles because I was living through troubles in my own little world. It all seemed like more than I could process.

I told a friend that I’ll know when the Lord frees my mind to write again, and today was the first day I’ve actually sat down at the computer to write. I’m not sure how consistent, but I’ll try to be back on Mondays. We’ll find out this week when Dave will have his other knee done. Yes, we’re doing this again in the near future, but I know God’s winking at me right now and assuring me He’ll be right there seeing us through it.

All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. 2 Cor. 1:3-4 The Message

Photo by Saad Chaundhry @saadchdhry

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