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When God’s Gift is “No”

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Our guest blogger today is a dear friend and fellow author and speaker from San Diego, California, Cindi McMenamin. Cindi and I met at Mt Hermon Writer’s Conference the year she got her first book contract with Harvest House and we’ve remained encouragers and supporters of each others careers ever since. She interviewed me for stories in several of her books, and the secondary infertility story she shares below is in my book Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?

I know you are going to enjoy what she shares from her new book–

When God Sees Your Tears by Cindi McMenamin

When God Sees Your Tears by Cindi McMenamin

Do you know what it’s like to ask God for something and to keep receiving a “no”?

I do. And it hurts. But I’ve learned through the years that God’s “no” is often a gift greater than what I had originally asked for.

Whether I was trying to get a book published, trying to have a child, or trying to pry open a door of opportunity, every time I received a “no,” I later learned what God was really saying was “Wait, I have something far better for you than you thought to ask for.” Yet all I could see in front of me was a rejection letter. More waiting. Another closed door. Discouragement.

God’s Gift to Hannah was “No.”

Hannah, a woman we read about in the Old Testament, knew that discouragement, too. She longed to have a baby. Yet we find twice in the first few lines of her story that the reason for Hannah’s infertility was “because the Lord had closed her womb” (1 Samuel 1:5-6).

Ouch! Now, I would feel so much better if that sentence about Hannah read, “because she was unable to bear children.” But that verse specifically tells us that the Lord was the One withholding from Hannah the one thing she wanted most in life.

We’d like to think God is behind only the blessings we receive in life and, therefore, we have a hard time wrapping our minds around the possibility that God would allow—or even arrange—certain difficulties to come our way. Yet, that is one of the primary ways He—

  • awakens our need for Him,
  • grows our dependence on Him,
  • shapes our character,
  • and draws us closer to Him.

In Hannah’s case, she became so desperate to have a son that she poured out her heart to God in prayer, promising to give her son back to God if He would finally give her a child. It was then, after Hannah came to that place of complete surrender, that we read God’s gracious, yet timely, response: “And the Lord remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son…” (1 Samuel 1:19-20).

Sometimes “No” means Wait

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Hannah got her long-awaited son, but years later than she had anticipated. The apparent “no” from God was really “wait.” And the wait turned out to be the best blessing of all. Hannah didn’t have just any baby. She had a son named Samuel who became one of Israel’s greatest prophets and priests. He anointed Israel’s first two kings and helped turn the nation’s heart back toward God. Wow! Hannah simply asked God for a baby. But God wanted to give her—and a nation—so much more than she asked. So He waited and did it in His timing, not hers.

Scripture tells us that God can do “all things. No plan of (His) can be thwarted” (Job 42:2). Scripture also tells us that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17 NIV). So if every gift is from God, and you’re praying for a “gift” and it’s not arriving, God is the One who is deciding to withhold that gift. And I have learned that some of God’s “gifts” are the very things He decides to withhold.

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Sometimes “No” is a gift from God

God’s “gifts” sometimes take the form of difficulties, losses, frustrations, and outright pain. We don’t originally see them as gifts, but more like disappointments, aggravations, or even rejection. But they are gifts, nonetheless, that are given to us to grow us to a new level in our spiritual life or to prepare us for something better that God has in store for us; or perhaps to even help us see something extraordinary about God that we couldn’t see before.

I remember not wanting to accept one of the “gifts” God was giving me, primarily because I saw it as His withholding, not as His giving. I struggled with not being able to have a second child (what doctors now refer to as secondary infertility). It was a struggle because I remember “claiming” Psalm 84:11 as my promise that I would have another child: “No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly (NASB).”

“Surely another baby is a good thing, God,” I prayed. “Certainly You will not withhold.” And yet, God did. Apparently, what God considered a “good thing” in my life was not birthing a second child, but birthing a writing and speaking ministry, instead. Although, at the time, I felt that God was withholding something from me, I can today see His withholding as a “gift” in terms of a different life direction that He had for me.

Through the years, I’ve seen repeatedly that God’s idea of a good thing—and ultimately what’s best for me in my faith walk with Him—may be completely different than mine. Although my opinion has often differed from God’s in His early stages of withholding something, I have learned not to question the wisdom and actions of an all-knowing, all-loving God who is much more capable of managing my life than I am.

I do not have a second child today because the Lord had closed my womb. But I could also say, “I am living the dream God has placed on my heart through my writing and speaking because the Lord had closed my womb.”

Because the Lord had . . .

I could give you a lengthy list of other “gifts” that I have received at God’s hand, but didn’t originally see as gifts because they all included the phrase because the Lord had…

           I didn’t marry Mike because the Lord had changed his heart.

           I lost a good friend, because the Lord had taken her away.

           I went through a season of loss, because the Lord had shut the door.

There are other ways of looking at those same “gifts” (or withholdings):

          I married Hugh because the Lord had changed Mike’s heart.

          I was spared further hurt, because the Lord had taken her away.

          I can minister to women today because the Lord had shut that door.

What because the Lord had phrases have affected your life and caused your tears to flow? Are you a woman who is where she is today . . .

                       because the Lord had closed that door?

                        because the Lord had changed his heart?

                        because the Lord let you get cancer?

                        because the Lord had not healed her?

Oh, my friend, God has His reasons for why He has allowed or prevented something from happening in your life. And it’s not because He wanted to punish you or make your life miserable. It’s not because He didn’t love you or didn’t care about you or didn’t hear your prayers. It’s very possible that He wants to bless you from another angle. And it’s very possible He wants you to realize that the one thing you need the most—your one missing piece—is Him.

 

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and award-winning writer who helps women find strength for the soul. She is the best-selling author of When Women Walk Alone(more than 120,000 copies sold) and a dozen other books including When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, and her newest release, When God Sees Your Tears, upon which this article is based. For more resources to strengthen your soul, marriage, and relationships with God and others, see her website: www.strengthforthesoul.com.

View More: http://chelseamariephoto.pass.us/cindi

August 4, 2014
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Will God Still Bless America?

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We’ve just celebrated the 4th of July, and I’m sure at least once over the weekend, hopefully in your church on Sunday, you sang the song God Bless America.

At Crouch Community Church this morning, Pastor Brian Smith tackled a question that should be on every Christian’s mind:

Will God still bless America?

An America that has thrown God, His Word, and prayer out of schools and public places.

An America where uttering the name of Jesus or having a Christian symbol on your desk could get you fired.

An America that legalizes the killing of babies through abortion, just like the detestable child sacrifices in the pagan cultures of the Old Testament.

An America that idolizes pleasure with no regard to the sanctity of life.

An America that tries to silence and intimidate the voice of the moral majority.

An America that embraces “syncretism,” the philosophy of our age that says the combination or conciliation of differing beliefs or practices in religion is fine with God, so let’s include a little bit of all belief systems and still call it Christianity.

An America where the people vote against changing the definition and meaning of marriage, but there’s always a judge who will overturn the people’s wishes.

An America where just like in the days of Judges in the Bible, everyone does what is right in their own eyes.

An America where atheists can speak freely and win lawsuits against Christians, but Christians are forced out of business and judged harshly for standing up for their Christian beliefs.

An America where liberty constrained by godly morality is now a foreign concept and the “Truth” is offensive.

An America where political correctness replaces free expression.

An America where a liberal president and politicians end their speeches with a glib, “And may God bless America.” What are they expecting God to bless? The breaking of God’s laws and commands and the attempt to remove Him from American culture.

What Does “God Bless America” Mean?

Most people think of a blessing as God granting peace, security, victory, and material provision. Actually, God’s idea of a blessing isn’t for the present circumstances, but with an eye on eternity. God blesses with His greatest purpose and plan for America, not man’s desires and plans.

The first recorded blessing was on Abraham in Genesis 12:1-3.

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

2 “I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
3 I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you

Through Abraham’s family tree, Jesus Christ was born to save humanity. Through Christ, people can have a personal relationship with God and receive blessings beyond all measure for eternity. That’s the blessing that God offers every nation and every person.

What Can We Expect God to Do with America?

One of the requirements of God’s blessing of Abraham was that he obey God. God told him to pick up and move his family, even when he didn’t know where he was going. Abraham obeyed God and his decedents, his country, and his family received blessings as long as they obeyed God. Reading the Old Testament, we know that the people didn’t continue to obey God and that’s why He finally sent us a Savior—His only Son Jesus Christ.

It’s hard to know what God is going to do with America. We’ve had many “natural” disasters, and there will be more—floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, draughts, fires, and earthquakes. Illnesses without cures. Financial meltdowns. Where is our nation going to find hope in crises? In the government? The military? The police? FEMA? Doctors? Banks? They can all help, but trusting and believing in God is the only source of lasting hope.

God is in control, America is not in control:

The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
 But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations. Psalm 33: 10-11

Our security is in eternity, not in America.

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For those who know Jesus as their personal Savior, you have nothing to fear. Your future is secure:

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine. Psalm 33:18-19

Our hope is in the Lord, not in America:

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We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33: 20:22

Will God still bless America? I don’t know, but I do know that He will bless His people whatever country they live in. God will enlarge His blessing on people who put their trust and hope in Him.

America Still Stands Only by the Grace of God

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You and I are alive today by the grace of God, and God’s purpose and plan for every Christian is that we share our source of hope and joy with someone who needs to know it today. If we don’t, then who will?

I pray that God continues to bless each of you. I pray for revival in America so that we can truly sing with a knowing heart:

While the storm clouds gather far across the sea
Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer

God bless America, land that I love
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with a light from above
From the mountains, to the prairies

To the oceans white with foam
God bless America
My home sweet home

Lyrics by Irving Berlin

 

 Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty. Malachi 3:7

July 7, 2014
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Mentoring is Not an Option

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This past weekend, I had the honor of sharing the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry with churches in Sedalia, Missouri. I’ve shared this message hundreds of times throughout the United States and Canada, and I’m as excited and passionate about encouraging and equipping women to mentor, as I was when I first heard God’s call to “feed My sheep” nineteen years ago. The passion never fades—the excitement of telling a new group of women about the blessings of following God’s instructions for mentoring never wanes.

Mentoring is The Job Description for Christians 

When churches call and ask for advice on how to encourage their women to become involved in a mentoring relationship, I say: Take your women to Titus 2:1-8 where the Lord is giving a command to all Christian men and women. He says for spiritually older men to teach the spiritually younger men, and the women to do the same.

Next, I suggest that they point out that there are no qualifiers in that passage. The verses don’t say: If you have time, or if you feel like it, or if you can fit it into your schedule, or if you aren’t doing another ministry, or if you don’t work, or if you feel comfortable with it, or if you feel qualified, or if you feel called…..

They simply say for Christians to just “DO IT”—no options!

In Titus 2:5 and 8, Paul emphasizes why it’s so important for spiritually older men and women to teach the spiritually younger: “so that no one will malign the word of God” (v 5) or “have nothing bad to say about us” (v 8). But today the culture is maligning the Word of God and bad-mouthing Christians because we’ve stopped following Gods instructions in this passage.

God wants the spiritually mature to help newer believers learn how to become godly role models reflecting how His people live and have relationships and marriages so others would seek Christ through us.

Christian living should help rather than hinder the spread of the gospel.

There’s A World of Hurt

Many young women today are struggling in their roles in marriage, as mothers, as friends, as employees, as women in the church. Where are the women who will selflessly reach out and “show them the ropes” of living a life in Christ?

I’ve heard the sad testimony of women who walked out of a crusade or revival meeting or the church service where they accepted Christ, and went right back into their old lifestyle. One woman told me she even went to a party with her worldly friends the very night she accepted Christ! She didn’t know any different. Many new believers backslide and go years with Christ in their heart but not in their head. Their stories have a common theme…

            I know I accepted Christ. I asked Him into my heart, but I didn’t know what that meant. My old familiar life and friends and unsaved family were all still there, and there was no one from this “new life” that would help me learn how to live it. It just seemed easier to go on as I had before. Only now I had a lot of confusion, guilt, and conviction in my life, which made me feel even worse than before I accepted Christ.

Haven’t you heard these stores yourself? We would never let our babies out on their own with no direction as soon as they could walk and talk. Yet, we let these new baby Christians go out the doors of our churches straight into the world, without a hand to hold to keep them safe until they’re ready to be spiritually on their own. This is tragic when there’s a wealth of maturity in the women of our churches. Women who have so much to offer from walking with Christ, and could help these younger Christian women mature in the Lord.

Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness

Taking the time to reach out to a spiritually younger woman is a selfless act of giving and ministry. Not to preach, but teach. To let your life—with all the wealth of good and bad experiences—be a role model that Christ was with you through it all. There are women in your church who desperately need a woman who will honor the command given to each of us in Titus 2. Women who will teach how to: study God’s Word, be a Christian wife and mother, manage a home and family, deal with temptation or crisis . . . be a “lady of the Lord.”

  • Who is assuming responsibility to transmit biblical values to these women?
  • Who is listening to their questions and their concerns and guiding them to the Book with all the answers and the One who fulfills all our needs?

Blessings of Being a Titus 2 Woman

Many of you know the blessings of accepting this Titus 2 call and command from the Lord. When we make an investment in a spiritually younger woman, it enriches our own lives, the sense of connectedness and shepherding in our church families deepens, society benefits, and we honor God’s Word.

Jesus said:  “I tell you the truth, anyone who gives a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ, will certainly not lose his reward” (Mark 9:41).

You can’t out-give God. As we share our lives with another sister-in-Christ, our own life and our church will receive immeasurable blessings.

If you’ve experienced the miracles and blessings of being in a Titus 2 mentoring relationship, please share your testimony with others who may have questions or may be hesitant to mentor. If you’ve been a mentor, please pray about making Titus 2:3-5 a permanent and ongoing part of your Christian walk.

If you’ve grown spiritually as a mentee, God will put someone in your life who is right where you once were and could use your encouragement and mentoring.

One generation commends your works to another;
they tell of your mighty acts.—Psalm 145:4

clip_image002_005-245x250To start a Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry in your  church:

Woman to Woman Mentoring How To Start, Grow, and Maintain a Mentoring Ministry

March 24, 2014
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5 Reasons to See The Son of God

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Son of God

This past weekend, the movie Son of God opened in theaters around the country. Hubby and I had the blessing of seeing it on Saturday in a wide-screen theater. Many pastors encouraged their congregations to see this movie. According to USA Today, we came out in force—Son of God came in second for box office sales over the weekend, knocking the movie Lego off top place:

Son of God, the Biblical tale that drew support of pastors nationwide, took second with $26.5 million.

The debut met expectations and was propelled in part by prominent ministers that included Joel Osteen and Rick Warren, who distributed thousands of tickets and urged vigorous turnout for the drama about Jesus’ life.

While analysts consider devout audiences an underserved demographic in Hollywood, Ray Subers of Box Office Mojo says that Son was considered a “total wild card” when it came to predicting ticket sales.

When the film was announced last year, “many scoffed at the project,” he says.

The movie “is, after all, attempting to get people to pay movie theater prices for content many have already seen via The History Channel’s popular mini-series, The Bible,” Subers says.

But audiences gathered en masse for the movie, which scored an A- among moviegoers, says CinemaScore. Critics were more skeptical: Just 24% gave it their blessing, according to Rotten Tomatoes. But 81% of fans said they enjoyed it, according to the site.

Five reasons why pastors wanted their congregations to go see Son of God on opening weekend and continue to see it at theaters:

 

1. To Send a Clear Message to Hollywood

The USA Today article described “devout audiences” as an “underserved demographic in Hollywood.” When Hollywood takes a risk, as 20th-Century Fox did with Son of God, Christians need to show our support. Opening weekend numbers make news and Son of God coming in second was huge! Those of you who haven’t seen it yet, need to go soon. If a movie isn’t bringing in revenue to movie theaters, they won’t keep showing it.

We sent a clear message with the millions who watched the television mini-series The Bible and Hollywood took note. So even if you saw The Bible, give the same support to this movie if you want to see more movies we can stand behind come out of Hollywood.

2. Son of God is Our Story

Son of God portrays the ministry of Jesus, the agonizing cross, and glorious resurrection—every Christian’s heritage and testimony. Christ died and rose again for us. We should never tire of telling, hearing, or seeing the story behind our salvation. We need a reminder of what Christ endured to give you and me eternal life and the ministry responsibility for each of us to continue.

3. Son of God tells the Easter Story

Son of God ushers in the Easter season. As churches prepare programs, cantatas, and services, this movie reminds of what we’re celebrating. Jesus died a horrible death for us, but He arose and lives among us. The movie is a depiction of the Gospel story—the Good News.

4. Son of God is Biblically Accurate

I knew what the actors’ next words were going to be because they were from the Bible! Watching the Bible come alive is exciting, and you’ll know more Scripture than you thought you did.

5. Son of God is an Outreach

Invite unchurched neighbors and friends to go to the movies with you. There is also a Son of God Bible study, so offer to host a small group Bible study in your home after you see it at the movies.

We, the “Devout Audiences,” Can Make a Difference—For Good or Bad

Many scoffed at the Son of God project and predicted it’s failure, but the faithful came out and showed that the moral majority are mighty in numbers. We can make a difference. We don’t have to put up with the junk that typically comes out of Hollywood.

Here’s the caveat: We negate the impact of Son of God coming in second place on opening weekend, if next weekend we go watch R-rated, or even some PG 13, movies. In January, I wrote a blog post “Be Careful Little Eyes What You See,” and suggested running every movie through the Ephesians 5:1-10 grid. As a reminder, verses 3-4 warn:

“Sexual immorality, impurity, or greed. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes”? According to God: “these are not for you . . . Such sins have no place among God’s people.”

There are more faith-based movies coming out in upcoming months. Let’s cast our vote by seeing these movies and abstain from seeing any movie that would offend The Son of God.

March 3, 2014
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Slow Down You Move Too Fast!

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IMG_20140201_162933_202

Thought you might want to see what the garage door looks like down for a feel for the scene of the “accident”

Garage door half open

About where the garage door was when I ran into it–of course the car was not in the garage but out in the driveway.

All my life, someone has been telling me to slow down. I walk fast, talk fast, move fast, think fast, type fast . . . you name it, I do it fast. Consequently, I often run into things and usually am touting a bruise to prove it. When I had my tonsils out at five years old, the hospital was ready to turn my parents in as child-abusers because my legs were battered and bruised. My parents quickly explained that I was just an accident-prone, fast-moving kid.

I’d like to say I’ve outgrown those clumsy, fast-moving tendencies . . . but alas, I have not. Last Sunday morning, I overslept so I was rushing to get ready for church. I heard my hubby start up the car, so I grabbed my Bible and purse and flew down the stairs and into the car. Just as Dave was pulling out of the garage and telling me how nice I looked, a questioning voice came into my mind, Did you unplug the straightening iron?

Without stopping to consider if I had or not, I leaped out of the car telling my husband over my shoulder that I had to run back in the house. He just happened to be in the process of putting down the garage door . . . and the next thing I remember I was lying flat on my back in the snow looking up at the half-way down garage door above me.

I thought the door was coming down on me, so I jumped up just as my husband was getting out of the car to see if I was OK. I took inventory that nothing was broken, ran back in the house, confirmed that the straightening iron was indeed unplugged, and ran back to the car.

I asked my husband “What just happened?” He said that he was in the process of putting down the garage door and “You jumped so fast out of the car that I tried to stop the door from coming down. But before I could get it back up, you ran right into it.” That explained the extreme pain I had over my left eye. He said I lay on the ground for a while before getting up, and he was just coming to see if I was all right, when I stood up.

Fortunately, I fell back onto a soft mound of snow, which saved me from pounding the back of my head on cement and probably doing some real damage. As I walked into church that morning, I was still dazed and seeing stars. I wondered if I had a concussion and worried that I was for sure going to have a black eye and a goose egg on my forehead, since there was no time to ice it. Or I should say, I didn’t take time to ice it . . .

As I sat in church and started seeing more clearly, I began praising God that He must have laid me down gently in the snow after my forehead went full speed into the open edge of the garage door. And I thought about the fact that I knew the straightening iron was unplugged, so why did I question myself?

Deadline Attacks

I just happened to be on a book deadline and always seem to come under attack when I am writing something about strengthening marriages and family. Then I knew the source of the questioning voice—it was Satan planting doubt in my mind. And because I do everything fast, I hadn’t stopped to discern the origin of that voice. I had run right into what could have been a devastating accident. In hindsight, I saw clearly the trap I had fallen into because of my rushing.

 Hearing God's Voice

Then to confirm my enlightenment, I came across the above diagram on Facebook. Some of you might have seen it since I posted it on my timeline and explained how I had let Satan’s voice cause me to . . .

  • Obsess over the straightening iron not being unplugged, even though I knew for sure I had turned it off. So even if still plugged in, there wouldn’t have been a problem. But I also knew that I had unplugged it. I fell for the doubt trap that sly Satan set for me.
  • Worry that I might cause the house to burn down in the hour and a half we were at church.
  • Confusion about whether or not I had unplugged the straightening iron.
  • Pushed out of the car.
  • Frightened that I was going to have a concussion.
  • Rushing all morning . . . head long into an accident.

What To Do When You Hear Satan’s Voice

When I heard that doubting voice, I should have:

  • Prayed and asked Dave to wait a moment.
  • Rethought my steps of leaving the house.
  • Confirmed in my mind that I had turned off and unplugged the straightening iron, or calmly told Dave I had to go back in the house.
  • Waited for him to put the garage door back up.
  • Walked slowly back into the house.
  • Looked where I was going.

I have printed out God’s Voice/Satan’s Voice diagram, and it’s on my desk to remind me to slow down and take the time to listen carefully and know the source of the voice I am hearing. You may be wondering if you can really hear God or Satan, and the answer is absolutely. Usually, we don’t stop long enough to hear the still small voice of God because it’s drowned out by the clamoring loud voice of Satan.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).

If you’ve ever felt obsessed, worried, condemned, discouraged, confused, pushed, frightened, rushed, defeated, exploited, depressed, anxious—you were listening to Satan. God doesn’t talk in that tone of voice to us.

God’s voice is calm, comforting, convicting of sin, encouraging, enlightening, guiding, reassuring, loving and “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God’” (Psalm 46:10).

“In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son.” (Hebrews 1:1-2).”

After a lifetime of rushing, slowing down will not come easy for me, but I know with the help of Jesus, “I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13, NLT)

How about you? Anyone tracking with me? Please let me know how you’ve learned to slow down. There’s strength in accountability, and I need all the help I can get!

February 3, 2014
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The Magnet Syndrome!

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My retired husband is constantly coming up to me asking, “What are you doing?” He said he can’t stay away—he’s drawn to me like a magnet.—Mariann

Dear God,

When we were first married, Dave literally followed me around the house wanting to do everything with me. He didn’t have any friends or interests beside his job, golf, and me. We quickly remedied that dilemma by finding him friends, serving at church, and starting guitar lessons—the guitar eventually fell by the wayside.

Now that he’s retired and home 24/7, I’m reliving those early years: it seems like every time I turn around, I’m running into him right behind me, or he’s occupying the same space I’m trying to claim. I can’t make a move without him showing up. I try having my “quiet time” outside, only to look up and see him coming out with his Bible ready to settle in across the table from me . . . which would be OK accept he doesn’t read quietly . . . he talks . . . .

I get up early and go for my walk, expecting him to be done in the kitchen when I return. To my chagrin, he doesn’t think about eating breakfast, until I do! If I get my vitamins out of the cupboard, he needs his. Bottles fall and pills fly as we reach around each other trying to grab ours off the shelf.

When I go into the bathroom to put on my makeup and dry my hair, he remembers he needs to shave. Since we only have one sink and mirror, that’s a big problem. Last night, I was trying to take a shower, and he had to go to the bathroom, even though he had just been in there flossing his teeth!

It’s like having a perpetual shadow! Lord, I need some space. Why does everything I do, trigger the exact same response in him? If I change my routine to accommodate him, he changes his routine to match mine—he’s like a magnet. Help! I love my husband, but I’m stumbling over him at every turn.

Crowded, Janet

Mentoring Moment

My friend Anita and I were walking together one morning and I was lamenting about what Dave and I now laughingly call the “Magnet Syndrome.” Anita said she and her husband, Gary, experience the same thing and then she shared the “breakfast dance” they often do in the mornings, just like Dave and me.

Anita also said she had been giving this phenomenon a lot of thought and concluded that the more time you spend together, the more you’re on the same “wave length.” You start thinking alike, your schedules are similar, and your body clocks become synchronized. You’re both hungry simultaneously and sometimes even need to use the bathroom at the same time!

Then she pointed out this is how God intended marriage: husbands and wives become as one. When we each went our separate ways during the day, we had to transition back to being “one” when we saw each other again at night. 24/7 togetherness reflects the oneness of Genesis 2:24—“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Pondering Anita’s words, I realized how right she was. Instead of operating as two separate people in a marriage, 24/7 husbands and wives truly transition into one body—spiritually and physically. Exactly what we all agreed to in our marriage vows when the pastor said, “I present to you Mr. and Mrs. _____________, (fill in your names) united in marriage. What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

*This article contains excerpts from Janet Thompson’s  Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man

April 8, 2013
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Praying Scripture is Praying God’s Will

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Have you ever wondered what God’s will was for your life or your children’s life? Wondered what to pray? Well I have found that personalizing God’s Word and praying it back to Him is one way to assure myself that I am praying with a pure heart.

Personalizing scripture is simply putting in names and pronouns. For example: “Lord, I pray that You will guard my daughter_____’s heart above all else, for it determines the course of her life (Proverbs 4:23 NLT).” In my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I have a section titled “Forty Days of Praying Scripture for Your Daughter,” which is simply personalized scriptures for the parents to insert their daughter’s name into and pray.

Three parents in our Hope for Parents of Prodigal Daughters Support Group had a breakthrough with their daughter after only praying scripture for three weeks. One daughter even was saved!!

Another parent wrote me: “Praying for our daughter has made her become more touchable to me through prayer than any other experience I tried to make happen. Our daughter has been separated from our family for 16 years…Praying Scripture has given me new insight into God’s Word and into my own heart, and becoming more real, and seeing our daughter as God sees her and intends her to be and become.”

If you haven’t prayed scripture before, try it this week in you quiet time with the Lord. If you have questions, just leave a comment and I’ll try to answer them.

Prayer works because we are partnering with God.

About His Work,
Janet

April 18, 2008
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