Janet Thompson — Page 43 — Woman to Woman Mentoring

Kim Davis: A Modern-Day Paul

If you do not stand firm in your faith, then you will not stand at all. Isaiah 7:9 HCSB

You’ve probably been following the case of Kim Davis, the Rowan county clerk in Kentucky imprisoned in federal jail for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Kim worked in the county clerk offices for 26 years as deputy for her mother, county clerk for 40 years, and then the community elected Kim last November to that position after her mother’s retirement. However the most impressive statistic about Kim Davis is that as a Christian of only four years, she was willing to go to jail to honor God.

[Tweet “the most impressive statistic about Kim Davis is that as a Christian of only four years, she was willing to go to jail to honor God.”]

When Kim took the job as county clerk, like most of us, she never imagined a day when America, a country founded on Judeo/Christian values, would legalize a moral atrocity like same-sex marriage. Kim didn’t seek notoriety or attention and she’s not the first county clerk to object to granting marriage licenses to gays, but she is the first who was willing to put her Christian faith on the line. In her statement, she wrote that her refusal to issue marriage licenses to gays “Is not a light issue for me. It’s a Heaven or Hell decision.”

[Tweet “her refusal to issue marriage licenses to gays “Is not a light issue for me. It’s a Heaven or Hell decision.””]

She added: “I want to continue to perform my duties, but I also am requesting what our Founders envisioned — that conscience and religious freedom would be protected. That is all I am asking. I never sought to be in this position, and I would much rather not have been placed in this position.”

She also used her statement as an opportunity to give her testimony of becoming a Christian. Like the apostle Paul, and all of us, she had a past, but she’s forgiven and saved and telling others:
“In addition to my desire to serve the people of Rowan County, I owe my life to Jesus Christ who loves me and gave His life for me. Following the death of my godly mother-in-law over four years ago, I went to church to fulfill her dying wish. There I heard a message of grace and forgiveness and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. I am not perfect. No one is. But I am forgiven and I love my Lord and must be obedient to Him and to the Word of God. I never imagined a day like this would come, where I would be asked to violate a central teaching of Scripture and of Jesus Himself regarding marriage.”

Three times in the book of Jeremiah, in response to the moral sins of the people, God also said, “I have never commanded such a horrible deed; it never even crossed my mind to command such a thing!” (Jer. 7:31, 19:5, 32:35 NLT). It never crossed most of our minds that our country would ever consider doing something so abominable and against the nature of how God created marriage and men and women.

Side Note

When people ask me: “Where in the Bible does Jesus condemn homosexuality?” I counter with “Where does He condone it?” The people of Jesus’ time knew the Old Testament and they were fully aware of what constituted moral sins and what goes against God’s ways. Something our culture has forgotten. Jesus didn’t explicitly say don’t have sex with your animal either, so does that mean it’s OK and marriage to your animal whom you “love” should be legalized? And if it was, would you expect Kim to grant those licenses too?

[Tweet “The LGBT advocates and supporters have no moral argument and they know it”]

The LGBT advocates and supporters have no moral argument and they know it. Dark chooses to stay in the dark. “The look on their faces testifies against them, and like Sodom, they flaunt their sin. They do not conceal it. Woe to them, for they have brought evil on themselves” (Isaiah 3:9).

Praise God, if you’re a believer, “He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. ¹³For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son” (Col. 1:12:13).

[Tweet “What saddens me is the number of Christians and churches buying into the lie”]

What saddens me is the number of Christians and churches buying into the lie. Any Christian who supports gay marriage and doesn’t think it’s a sin, doesn’t know his or her Bible, cover to cover. I don’t care if they’re pastors, popes, priests, presidents, legislators, judges … they’re human, fallible, and wrong! “Your leaders mislead you, they confuse the direction of your paths” (Isaiah 3:12).

[Tweet ““Your leaders mislead you, they confuse the direction of your paths” (Isaiah 3:12)”]

They have stepped out of the light into the darkness. If you’re one of those people, I implore you to open up your Bible, start in Genesis and read all the way to Revelations. Don’t pick a verse here or there, read the whole Book of God and you will clearly know what God calls sin–immorality, idolatry, murder, lies, sexual perversion and lust, adultery and more …. It’s all in there along with what He thinks of those who support, encourage, and purposely engage in sin. You don’t want to be one of those people. Kim Davis, who has only been a Christian for four years, reminded us: “It’s a Heaven or Hell decision.”

[Tweet “There’s no right way to do the wrong or immoral thing!”]

I’ve had Christians ask me what I think Kim Davis should have done, and I answer, “Just what she did.” There’s no right way to do the wrong immoral thing no matter who tells you to do it or what immoral laws our government passes. If anything, they should grandfather her in and not expect her to abide by a “law” that changed long after she started working in the county clerk’s office. Granting gay marriage licenses isn’t the job she signed up for: compliance or quitting aren’t viable options. That sounds a lot like a dictatorship. Some have tried to use the verses about giving unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. Again, that tells me they don’t know their Bible. Those verses were talking about taxes. Don’t cheat on your taxes. But let’s look a little closer at the whole context of what Jesus said in Matthew 22:17-21 NLT:

¹⁷Now tell us what you think about this: Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”

¹⁸But Jesus knew their evil motives. “You hypocrites!” he said. “Why are you trying to trap me? ¹⁹Here, show me the coin used for the tax.” When they handed him a Roman coin,^[a] ²⁰he asked, “Whose picture and title are stamped on it?”

²¹“Caesar’s,” they replied.

“Well, then,” he said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”

What’s on the back of your coins?

thatyoumightknowhim.com

What Next?

Those who are honest and fair,
who refuse to profit by fraud,
who stay far away from bribes,
who refuse to listen to those who plot murder,
who shut their eyes to all enticement to do wrong—
these are the ones who will dwell on high.
The rocks of the mountains will be their fortress.
Food will be supplied to them,
and they will have water in abundance. Isaiah 33:15-16

As I write this post, Kim Davis was released from jail and we all wait for what will happen when she returns to work. Last Sunday, Kim Davis was still in jail when our pastor Brian Smith spoke on the book of Colossians. He emotionally prefaced that the Lord had him pacing in his office as he prepared this sermon, especially in light of current events. He read an introduction to us prior to the sermon. Before I share that introduction with his permission, let’s look at a few passages Paul wrote to the Colossians while he too was in prison for his faith. Remember that the Colossian believers were also bucking the Roman government who wanted everyone to recognize Caesar as Lord.

So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. ¹⁰Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy… Col. 1:9-11

Christ Is Supreme

¹⁵Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.
    He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,^[a]
¹⁶for through him God created everything
    in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
    and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
    Everything was created through him and for him.
¹⁷He existed before anything else,
    and he holds all creation together.
¹⁸Christ is also the head of the church,
    which is his body.
He is the beginning,
    supreme over all who rise from the dead.^[b]
    So he is first in everything. Col. 1:15-18

²³But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed as God’s servant to proclaim it. Col. 1:23

Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers^[a] of this world, rather than from Christ.” Col. 2:8

Pastor Brian Smith’s Opening to Sermon on Colossians:

There are voices in our world who tell us that we are to follow their authority. People who claim to know what is best for nations and individuals are hard at work to mold everyone into their image. This is not new: Rome had a plethora of gods and idols, and above all was the emperor. The people of his kingdom were to declare, “Caesar is Lord!”

China has a similar attitude, but there the government, communism, is to be recognized as the supreme ruler. To disagree is to be in jeopardy of the charge of “upsetting the social order.” Any activists can expect severe persecution or prison.

Our country is evidently following a similar secular, materialistic agenda: Federal laws are pre-eminent, government is the provider of goods for life, and to think differently brings the charge, “You are upsetting the social order!”

Christians are made to look like they missed the bus—“This is the 21^st century. Get in step with the advancements of this society and culture. Life is changing and the experts are to be followed, you dummies!”

[Tweet “Christians are confident that God’s ways have not changed”]

However, we as Christians are confident that God’s ways have not changed. He is the ultimate expert; He is Creator and Sustainer of the universe and of our lives. To contradict Him is to invite disaster, personally and universally. We’re already seeing these effects.

Our spiritual education is important; learning God’s ways is a priority and following the One who holds eternity has greater consequences than trying to have peace and security apart from God. So we need to tune into God.

He is not oblivious to your needs and circumstances. He will meet you where you are, but each of us must turn to face Him, acknowledge Him, respond to what He reveals, and obey.

Janet’s Challenge to You

Christians put an expressly Christian movie, War Room, in the #1 ranking in the box office over Labor Day weekend. Surely, we can put a Conservative, Bible-Believing-Following, Christian in the Oval Office! Let’s do it…are you with me?

Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who substitute darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who substitute bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter. Isaiah 5:20 HCSB

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September 14, 2015

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Love Your Body—Weight Loss Is NOT the Goal!

“I will read your posts on Loving Your Body. I have seen them before, but as you know, I wanted a fix but didn’t want to do the work.” Debbie Dittrich

If you’re on Facebook, you’ve probably noticed the same phenomenon I have, and maybe you’ve been part of this scenario. A peep suddenly posts a picture looking fabulous after losing a great deal of weight. Everyone congratulates her and “oohs and ahhhs” at how wonderful she looks as she joyously grins with achieved success.

Then as suddenly as the pictures appeared, months go by with no pictures, and then you see a picture and your heart sinks … at least my Dietitian’s heart sinks … she has gained all the weight back, and maybe more! Or some, like Oprah, we actually watch on television go up and down in weight over the years as she tried different diets.

What happened? Why wouldn’t they want to maintain their amazing loss? Why wouldn’t they want to stay thin and healthy? Why wouldn’t they want to enjoy wearing all those beautiful new clothes they bought?

I’ve discovered the answer is always the same—a weight loss regime they couldn’t possibly maintain for life. Fast and noticeable weight loss was the immediate goal, without a long-term goal and plan to keep the weight off.

[Tweet “”Weight loss without a realistic lifetime eating plan is doomed to failure!”]

Maybe they lost the weight by eliminating certain food groups, extremely low daily calories, shakes, drinks, shots, pills, surgery, ready-prepared boxed or frozen meals, eating the exact same thing daily …. Anxious for a quick fix, they did something drastic to get results with no long-term maintenance plan. They couldn’t go a lifetime on that regime. Once the weight goal was reached, or they ran out of money for the costly shots or products, they slowly, maybe quickly, went back to their old eating habits, which they hadn’t learned to modify or change.

Weight loss without a realistic lifetime eating plan is doomed to failure!

“While I know that I must eat properly I do not think that means eating the same thing for 17 years!” Debbie Dittrich

[Tweet “God made our body to operate best on the food He created in the quantities that maintain our body He created in optimal health.”]

God made our body to operate best on the food He created in the quantities that maintain our body in optimal health. When we try to circumvent His plan for good nutrition by eliminating a food group or going on a crash diet … we’re going to crash too. It’s not how God made us to subsist.

I recently saw a friend who had lost weight and I commented how great she looked. She said her goal was to be thin for her high school reunion. Her main concern now was keeping the weight off for the next two months until the reunion. And with those words, I knew that once the reunion was over—the goal of being thin for the reunion—she would feel the freedom to go right back to her old eating patterns and soon the lost weight would return. Unconsciously, she was acknowledging that what she was doing to lose the weight was going to be difficult to maintain for two months, not a lifetime. I mentioned that the first time I met her she was on a diet, and her comment was like those of so many, “I’m always on a diet.”

Maintenance is the Goal, Not Weight Loss

“This time it’s different,” my goal is to keep this and maintain this throughout my life. Before I’ve had more of a view of ‘Get to the goal, have the goal.’ Now I really looked at it as this is my life, and until I’m dead basically, I am going to keep this this way, instead of like, ‘Oh I lost 50 pounds and now I can do whatever I want.'” Kirstie Alley on the Today show January 6, 2015, after losing 50 pounds.

Kirstie Alley has publicly gone up and down with her weight. When she’s a Jenny Craig spokesperson, she does great, and when she quits the “program,” she gains it back. The above quote looks like she finally realized that weight loss was not the goal, she needed to eat the way she ate to lose the 50 pounds for the rest of her life to not gain it back. I don’t know if she was successful in sticking to the right goal.

[Tweet “people who lose weight gradually and steadily—about 1 to 2 pounds per week—are more successful at keeping the weight off.”]

Even though our human nature makes us want to see quick results, people who lose weight gradually and steadily—about 1 to 2 pounds per week—are more successful at keeping the weight off. Healthy weight loss isn’t a “diet,” “program,” or “gimmick.” It’s an ongoing lifestyle that includes long-term, doable changes in daily eating and exercise habits.

Once you’ve achieved a desirable weight, by relying on healthful eating and physical activity, you are more likely to be successful at keeping the weight off over the long term.

Losing weight is not easy, and it takes commitment.

The problem with all the fads, diets, programs, regimes …they’re meant for immediate gratification of quickly experiencing drastic change because that’s our world today. Slow and steady doesn’t’ give us the satisfaction we need. That’s why quick-fix “miracle” ads attract so many:

The 10-day Weight-Loss Program
How to Reach Your Desired Weight in a Month While Eating All You Want
Lose up to 10 pounds in a week

Or one I recently saw: “Secret Method to Getting Slim Fast.” I’ve been drinking this miracle drink for about 3 weeks now. My friends won’t stop asking how I became so thin in such a short amount of time. I’ve become half the size I once was!”

Here’s the Weight-Loss Secret Revealed—There’s NO Secret Miracle Way to Get Slim Fast and Keep it Off!

Everyone acknowledges, and few try to defy, how God created gravity—stepping off a cliff = downward plunge. But many have spent thousands of dollars trying to defy the way God created our bodies: calories in minus calories expended = our weight. There’s no big secret and no way to secretly, miraculously change it. But millions of people buy into a lie that it’s possible for them.

The Way God Created Our Bodies

Energy (calories) IN and energy OUT = maintained weight

The Only Goal that Equals Maintained Weight is a Life-Heart Change Goal

I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13

Identify:
1. Why you want to lose weight?

Why you eat?
When you eat?
What are you eating now that’s contributing to your weight?

Then set realistic goals that are maintainable and healthy:

One to two pound loss a week
Exercise, 30 to 60 minutes most days that you can and will do
Learn how to choose and prepare healthy food. Understand what constitutes a balanced diet.
Reduce portion sizes and eat three meals a day.
Track what you’re eating.

[Tweet “A healthy diet means eating a selection from all the five food groups “]

A healthy diet means eating a selection from all the five food groups in portion sizes that will help lose or maintain weight without sacrificing health.

I love the colorful Choose Plate website because it gives great information on how to determine your caloric requirement, what’s in each food group, portion sizes and so much more for the whole family. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention also has an amazing website to learn what “healthy” really looks and tastes like.

[Tweet “To be successful at long-term weight loss, we must adopt a new lifestyle,”]

To be successful at long-term weight loss, we must adopt a new lifestyle, just like when we became Christians and we put off the old way of life and put on the new. The new healthy you will make changes to adopt and embrace healthy eating habits, be more physically active, and learn how to change eating behaviors and habits.

Next month in our Love Your Body blog, the last Monday of the month, I’ll share a testimony from my friend and fellow author/speaker Debbie Dittrich who I quoted in this post. Debbie has lost a great deal of weight and shares with us the spiritual battle that kept her chained to bad eating habits for thirty years. She’s working at breaking those chains, and as they fall off, so does her weight.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Are you ready to make a dietary commitment to your health to love your body like God loves your body?

Can you see why having a weight loss goal isn’t successful without a long-range maintenance goal?

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August 31, 2015

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Would Anyone Know You’re a Christian?

Grampa Dave giving grandson, Brandon, a golf lesson!

“Darn it!” my husband Dave muttered after hitting his golf ball into the woods.

He was playing golf in a scramble game with a group of men he’d never met before.

“Is that all you have to say?” asked one of the men.

“Yes, that’s it,” said hubby.

Later in the game, Dave made a birdie putt that earned his team a 3^rd place finish. The team captain was elated, “Somebody buy that man a beer!”

Hubby, “Thanks, I don’t drink, but a Diet Coke would be great.”

A man in the group, “Are you LDS?”

Hubby, “No, I go to the Community Church.”

When my husband relayed these conversations to me, God put several thoughts on my mind:

My husband’s actions were a great witness on the golf course.
But why did they assume that because he didn’t swear or drink that he was LDS? Why didn’t they ask if he was a Christian?

[Tweet “why did they assume that because he didn’t swear or drink that he was LDS?”]

Actions Speak Louder Than Our Words, or in this Case, Lack of Words

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

I’ve heard many Christians justify their actions and words by saying they can reach more people for Christ if they “fit in,” but you’ll never find that practice supported in the Bible. Instead, the Bible instructs us to put off the old way of life and put on the new. It also tells us that we’ll be in the world, but we’re not to conform or “fit in” to the world.

¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

²⁰That, however, is not the way of life you learned ²¹when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

²⁵Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Ephesians 4:18-25

In last week’s blog post, How to Mentor in a World Forsaking God, I mentioned that corrupt tax collectors, Zacchaeus and Matthew, each invited Jesus to their home and He went. Many people like to use these two scenarios to justify their own actions in participating in worldly activities. It’s true, Jesus did receive criticism for hanging out with sinners, but He had a mission and a purpose. He didn’t go to their homes to party with them and participate in their sins and corruption … he wasn’t going to cheat people out of their money like these two men or celebrate and condone their deception with a drink and a toast.

Zacchaeus and Matthew had invited friends to their houses and Jesus had a readymade audience. He went there to tell them about the Gospel and how they could turn from their wicked ways and sins, ask for forgiveness, and become new men in Christ. He went into their world to tell them about His world–to make them His followers, not to follow them! A caveat many people miss.

[Tweet “Jesus went into their world to tell them about His world–to make them His followers, not to follow them! “]

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. ²A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. ³He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. ⁴So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

⁵When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” ⁶So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

⁷All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

⁸But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

⁹Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. ¹⁰For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:1-10

As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

¹⁰While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. ¹¹When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

¹²On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. ¹³But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:9-13

The Great Commission, Matthew 28:16-20, commands us to go to those who don’t know Christ, but our mission is to share Jesus with them, not hide our faith.

Daily Walk Devotional, August 4, 2015, Suggests an Enlightening Exercise:

Think back over the last seven days and count the number of people you have talked to: family members, coworkers, classmates, friends, neighbors, service people, store clerks [golfers or other sports participants]. Don’t forget those you communicated with by phone or e-mail, or over the back fence.

Now subtract the number of those who are already Christians. How many are left—5, 10, 20, or more? That represents the number of opportunities you have each week to offer hope, encouragement, and a word of witness to a lost world.

We Should Never “Fit In,” There Should be Something Different About Us!

[Tweet “We Should Never “Fit In,” There Should be Something Different About Us!”]

“Set yourself apart. You weren’t made to fit in. You were born to stand out!” Jim Caviezel

Jim Caviezel is the actor who portrayed Jesus in Passion of the Christ. As I was writing this blog post, the Lord got my attention on Facebook with a picture of Jim in an article that talked about his Pro-life commitment and adopting two Chinese children with brain tumors. But as I read further, I came across a video of Pastor Dave Cooper interviewing Jim at Rock Church in San Diego. As I listened to the interview, Jim said exactly what I had already written here in this blog! In the heading above, I had used the same words he uses in saying that Christians should never “fit in.” I would encourage you to watch the entire powerful interview. Here are several quotes from Jim Caviezel, a follower of Jesus:

“We all have a choice. Freedom exits not to do what you like, but to do what you ought.”

“God doesn’t send anyone to hell; they choose hell.”

[Tweet “Many Christians want to be a little bit pagan to fit in.”]

“Many Christians want to be a little bit pagan to fit in. They don’t want to be Holy”.

“You have to take Jesus with you in your life every day. He’s part of you. People need to see God in you. They’ll want what you have.”

“When you live in holiness, when you really try to stop sinning, you become braver. You become more courageous, you become a man of your word. You become a man of conviction that you’re not willing to sell out and you’re really a true knight in shining armour.” [From another related article]

How Do We Take Jesus with Us?

When others are laughing at dirty jokes, we don’t laugh and change the subject.
When others are cussing or taking the name of the Lord in vain, we don’t. We might respectfully say, “Hey, that’s my Father [or God or Jesus] you’re talking about there. Is He yours too?”
When others are getting drunk, we don’t. We sip on a nonalcoholic beverage.
When offered a drink, and we don’t drink, we say, “No thank you. I don’t drink, but I’d love a glass of water.”
When someone asks us to do something we know isn’t right, i.e. take drugs, watch a movie full of sex and bad language, cheat, hang out with the wrong crowd … we refuse and try to get them to not do it also.
When others accept something we don’t accept—abortion, gay marriage, couples living together—we don’t go along with the conversation, which insinuates we agree with them. We kindly let them know we’re not in agreement and why.

Silence conveys confirmation.

We don’t give in on the little things or the big things.

¹²Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, with integrity and godly sincerity. We have done so, relying not on worldly wisdom but on God’s grace. 2 Corinthians 1:12

Why Did They Ask My Husband If He Was LDS?

The short answer to that might be because we live in a heavily populated Mormon area. But the long answer is that many Christians have let the world influence them instead of them influencing the world. Christians don’t stand out from the crowd anymore. They should, but they don’t.

Christians differ with Mormons on theology, but the one thing you can’t differ with is that you don’t see Mormons drinking, swearing, or telling dirty jokes, and they make their family a priority. Maybe you’ve see some who differ from this, but I live amongst them and I haven’t seen it yet. They are kind and generous, and I don’t think they would ever be mistaken for being “worldly” or trying to “fit in.”

So what’s wrong with Christians? We know the Truth. We know that Jesus is the son of God, He went to the cross to save us from our sins, and Jesus is the ONLY way to eternal life with Him. It’s a personal decision no one can make for us, and no amount of works or being good will save us. But familiarity can lead to complacency. We’re bombarded by tolerance to sin today, even the legalization of sin by our government.

Christians can become desensitized to sin around us and in our own spiritual life.

[Tweet “Christians become desensitized to sin around us and in our own spiritual life.”]

Desensitization: a process by which a patient with allergies receives injections containing an increasing amount of the substance to which that patient is allergic. As a result, the body in time becomes accustomed to the foreign substance and is no longer irritated by it.

Because Christians rely so heavily on grace, it’s easy to become complacent and tolerant of sin in the world and in our own life, despite the apostle Paul’s warning in Romans 6:1-2: “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

We’ve seen in the world, and even in some Christians lives and churches, sins once considered unthinkable are first tolerated, then condoned, and ultimately openly endorsed. Instead of the Christian faith influencing the world to turn from their sins and wicked ways, many Christians have let the world influence them to accept and condone some sins.

For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 1 John 2:16

Those men on the golf course knew from my husband’s actions and words that he was a man of faith and they respected him. He can still play the game of golf and be in the “world,” without compromising his beliefs, faith, or conservative standards. And guess what, they still want to play golf with him; he still “fits in” the golf world even though he doesn’t swear or drink with them and they now know he’s a Christian. What a mission field he has.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ²Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

³For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. Romans 12:1-3

What ways do you see Christians trying to “fit in” with the world?

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August 24, 2015

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How to Mentor in a World Forsaking God

See note at end of blog for Thelma Wells comment about this picture*

You might want to grab a cup of coffee or tea before you start reading because today’s post is a little longer than usual. Once I start talking about mentoring …it’s hard to stop.

Since Adam and Eve, every generation has lived in a fallen world, but I think you would agree that our culture is falling away from God faster than any time in history. What one generation did in moderation, the next generation does in excess.

[Tweet “What one generation did in moderation, the next generation does in excess.”]

Just as the apostle Paul saw the need for mentors in his day, as he wrote to the young pastor Titus, we desperately need mentors today. And yet, many who should be stepping up to mentor and teach the next generation are falling away just as quickly as our world is falling away from God. Do you see the same correlation that I do?

Such a sad, but true reality … and because spiritually older men and women are not reaching out teaching and training the next generations, young people are left to figure things out on their own while listening to the liberal barrage of worldly advice derailing them from every direction—media, schools, friends, the community…. They’re not hearing the truths of God; they’re bombarded with the lies of Satan. And yet, God set in place a way to prevent this. Yes, we could have avoided much of the evil happening in the world today if Christians and the church had been willing to invest in mentoring the next generation.

[Tweet “we could have avoided much of the evil happening in the world today if Christians and the church had been willing to invest in mentoring the next generation.”]

Praise God there are still many Sunday school teachers sharing the Gospel with the precious little ones who manage to find their way to church. And many churches have a youth ministry, but then as young people mature and start making their own decisions, the church often backs away when needed the most.

[Tweet ” The church often backs away when needed the most”]

Instead of helping young people confront the difficult issues they’re dealing with today, the church becomes shy and reserved about discussing real world issues. Instead of ensuring these young people have mature Christians involved in their lives, like Paul was to Titus and Timothy and Elizabeth was to Mary, the church pulls away and so do the young people. Abandoned when they need guidance and counsel the most! Here is just one example of what our young people and parents are dealing with today:

The witness of God on the human heart will be silenced by a culture that approves of what we naturally know is wicked and damaging. To isolate just one issue, as transgender identity spreads and is accepted, little boys and girls who years ago would have received sound counsel to inhabit their God-given bodies will instead be encouraged to undergo drastic surgery. They will experience profound confusion as a result and will be –by some estimates—twenty times more likely to commit suicide than their peers. This is just one illustration of the baleful effects of the forces that now bully our body politic into conformity to anti-wisdom and anti-truth.” Owen Strachan “What the Future Holds” Tabletalk August 2015

What Can We Do?

[Tweet ““Wisdom is the capacity to see things from God’s perspective and to respond to them according to scriptural principles.””]

So how do we everyday ordinary Christian women make a difference in today’s confused and fallen world? We speak, teach, and train the Truth straight from the Bible. In “In Touch” devotional, Dr. Charles Stanley defines wisdom: “Wisdom is the capacity to see things from God’s perspective and to respond to them according to scriptural principles.” We need to help spiritually younger women learn spiritual wisdom from the Bible to help them navigate the moral decline of our country.

For example, there are Christians and even pastors and churches today who say that Jesus never spoke against homosexuality, but no matter how many credentials these pastors and churches have behind their names, they’re only revealing how unwise and unfamiliar they are with the entire Bible. They forget that Jesus and God are One and God clearly delineates throughout the Bible the roles of men and women in marriage and sexual relationships, and that marriage is an earthly replication of Christ with His church. All you have to do is go to a concordance or Biblegateway.com to see verses like:

I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10

As a young man marries a young woman,
so will your Builder marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:5

From the beginning to the end of the Bible, you clearly see God’s plan for marriage between a man and a woman and the delineation and roles of each gender. The people of Jesus’ day knew the Old Testament teaching about sin, they didn’t need it spelled out for them by Jesus. Jesus didn’t specifically say don’t snort cocaine, don’t engage in sex trafficking, don’t murder unborn babies and sell their body parts either, so does that make them all ok? Of course not! The people of Jesus’ day knew it was a sin to degrade their bodies, engage in sexual immorality, or murder and these are still sins today. So we need to help the next generation understand how to apply the entire Bible to living a moral upright and righteous life instead of trying to use the Bible to justify a sinful immoral unrighteous life.

How Does Titus 2 Apply Today?

The verses in Titus 2:1-8 describe God’s plan for mentoring men and women and those verses are just as applicable today as they were when Paul wrote them. I’ve said many times that these verses are the job description for every Christian man and woman. I like the J.B. Phillips translation for this discussion. Let’s look at each verse starting with the men. And by the way, I want you to think of “older” and younger in terms of “spiritually older” and “spiritually younger.” Remember this is the apostle Paul telling young pastor Titus how mentoring works:

Now you must tell them the sort of character which should spring from sound teaching. The old [older] men should be temperate, serious, wise—spiritually healthy through their faith and love and patience.

So Paul tells Titus to provide sound teaching to the spiritually older men so they will be spiritually mature, wise, patient, and full of love as they lead their homes and teach the younger men (verses 6-8). Then likewise, these same things apply to the women along with areas specific to women:

Similarly, the old [older] women should be reverent in their behaviour, should not make unfounded complaints and should not be over-fond of wine.

Synonyms for reverent are worshipful, respectful, and humble. Many translations refer to unfounded complaints as not gossiping and slandering others. And interestingly Paul warns women against drinking and some translations even use the word addicted to wine. I’ve written many times on why drinking is a bad role model and Paul thought so too.

They should be examples of the good life,

This doesn’t mean the good life in terms of material possessions and a pain-free life, but the amazing joy and peace we experience as followers of Jesus and receive God’s goodness.

Those verses describe mentors who are positive godly role models—not telling, but showing mentees how to live as Christian women. I inserted “older” because you don’t have to be old in chronological years to mentor … just spiritually older than the person God asks you to mentor.

so that the younger women may learn to love their husbands and their children, to be sensible and chaste, home-lovers, kind-hearted and willing to adapt themselves to their husbands

The result of spiritual mentoring is mentees learning how to be loving wives and mothers who aren’t persuaded or influenced by the world’s ways. I love the way this translation describes keeping house as home-lovers who have kind and gentle hearts toward their husbands. How many marriages might have been saved if young wives had a mentor!

—a good advertisement for the Christian faith.

The NIV reads, “so that no one will malign the world of God.” When we live the way God wants us to live, we’re a walking Christian testimony. But people today are maligning the Word of God and trying to trash the Bible. But we can help women be a shining example of all the Bible stands for by how we live our personal lives, raise our families, and help others find the peace that only God can provide in a world quickly turning its back on God. We can make a difference one woman at a time.

And here are Paul’s final words in this passage to the young men:

The young men, too, you should urge to take life seriously, letting your own life stand as a pattern of good living. In all your teaching show the strictest regard for truth, and show that you appreciate the seriousness of the matters you are dealing with. Your speech should be unaffected and logical, so that your opponent may feel ashamed at finding nothing in which to pick holes.

Does this sound overwhelming to you? It shouldn’t, because this is how God wants every Christian to live for Him, and we’re just sharing that life with another woman: Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness—my tagline. Someone helped us learn how to live as mature Christians and now God wants us to pass on what we learned to a confused and vulnerable generation. The God of the Bible is still the God of the 21^st Century.

A Survey of Women’s Ministry Directors

Dr. Gail Hayes daughter Gabrielle was 10 yrs old when her mom brought her to an Advanced Writer's and Speakers Conference and other Christian authors mentored her. Today Gabrielle is 17 and just signed a two book contract!

Dr. Gail Hayes’ daughter Gabrielle was 10 yrs old when her mom brought her to an Advanced Writer’s and Speakers Conference and Christian authors mentored her. Today Gabrielle is 17 and just signed a two book contract!

God gave me a call into ministry and a passion for spiritual mentoring. He has imprinted on my heart the urgency of every Christian passing God’s truths on to the next generation so they will embrace His ways for themselves. Not telling them what we believe, but helping spiritually younger men and women have a personal relationship with Jesus. Then we take the next step nurturing them to develop the knowledge, wisdom, and conviction to live for Christ, even in a world quickly turning to the ways of Satan.

[Tweet “This means we need to care about the next generation more than we care about ourselves.”]

This means we need to care about the next generation more than we care about ourselves. Our hearts need to break for confused young women who don’t value their worth and virtue as they look for sexual thrills, escape reality through drugs and alcohol, become dissatisfied with their appearance, or even their gender. We need to reach them quickly with the message that they are daughters of the King before they let the world make them slaves of Satan.

I did a survey recently on Facebook asking how many in Women’s Ministry would invite, welcome, or allow young women starting around age 15 to their events. Here’s a sampling of replies. I would encourage you to prayerfully read them all and see what God says to you about your personal role in mentoring and what your church is doing to mentor the next generation:

Yes, it is a way to mentor them. I think it’s fine if they’re come with their mother, aunt or someone else who is older.
No better place for her to be than with godly role models and those with a genuine walk with Christ.
We are their example!
I think it depends on subject matter. We’ve put age limits on women’s retreats because we’re trying to make a safe place for women to share personally about difficulties that may be too intimate to come out in casual conversation at coffee after a Sunday service. These deeply private issues are not likely to be shared within a group that has younger girls in attendance. (And probably shouldn’t be)
It would depend on the occasion. Special events, yes! An overnight retreat where confidentialities are shared…not.
Specific events, yes, but not across the board. I do think that we (the organized church) have placed too much emphasis on “youth group” being kids. They really are young adults and if we trained up our children biblically, there doesn’t seem to be a time for running around with peers and treating college life as if it’s a kids club, i.e., “college kids.” I’m more open to bringing those young women along right from their pre-adulthood … more so than I used to be.
I agree. There was a time that 14/15 was seen as grown and people of that age were treated as such.
If the topic/focus is intimacy in marriage, I think 15 and up is the perfect age for girls to acclimate into women’s events. They are being inundated and influenced by the most godless culture like no other time in history. There’s something powerful about women of like faith gathering together to worship and bask in His presence. Our girls need to be in that environment as much as possible. Feeling free and safe to share and be vulnerable are best and most appropriate in smaller group settings.
For retreat … 14 and up with a pre-interview required with each girl 18 and under. In other words, I would suggest that the mother or adult woman could not simply register them. This approach works well at our Christian school, placing responsibility for success on the student, rather than the student being enrolled by their parent(s). What is the purpose of the retreat? Will the young teens hinder the purpose? OR … make sure that your adult women attendees understand that when they register, they are agreeing to be part of the mentoring team at the retreat … training for both young and old. This means 24/7… when they lie down, when they wake up, and when they walk by the way….
I agree that the youth groups can cause what I can only describe as a ‘segregated’ body. One way to get the younger women 13-16 involved is in areas of service, such as a funeral dinners, VBS, nursery helpers etc. this way they will make a connection with the women who are involved in serving in women’s ministry and true relationships are formed then they have women to look at as examples. They then have an adult they can trust and to go to when they need advice or help.
I spoke at a retreat where teens 15 and older were invited. It changed the way the women 20 and older interacted with each other – everyone was more careful. Moms with daughters present didn’t open up. I know the difference because I’d spoken at this retreat previously. Laughter, tears, and authentic sharing were subdued. However, when I spoke at a daylong conference and 15 year olds were included, it was great.
I think every woman should be a woman’s minister and 14 and 15 year olds should be invited. Our girls are so vulnerable these days that we should be training them as their maturity allows.
Great question! I love taking my daughter to the retreats I help with (she 1st attended at age 7)…sometimes if I know the speakers story is a bit too much for her, she just comes to help set up, but she’s still involved. This year (she’s now 10) she is the co-decorator for ReNEWed Life Women’s Event! I would love to see teens attend our events as well…simply living out Titus 2!!
General events, like women’s Bible classes, conferences etc. are an awesome way to start the process of developing interest and thus passion for God’s Word and ministry for teen girls. I’m not certain however it’s best to include them in small group mentoring with adult women. Many women have expressed their discomfort with being authentic and sharing adult issues and needs with children in the group. Retreats can be a good place for teens if there are appropriately centered issues for their age group. I believe however this needs to be an individual decision by the retreat leaders for an event because there are some adults who would consider a teen, a child, and be uncomfortable to share her space, time and personal story with one or more there.
I would let them at twelve years old.
I’ve done retreats where there were girls in jr high through 80. I loved it! I lead the small group discussions for the tweens and teens. In the general session talks, the girls mostly sit together. At times, I speak directly to the women and then to the teens. Lots of giggles and learning.
Tried to offer both wide range of 14-90 age, and also stage/ age specific events.
..NO QUESTION! With young women (this means girls) facing more “in your face” issues than ever before, I would definitely open it up to them. I work in schools and girls are HUNGRY and looking for reasons to remain pure. They are searching for boundaries and hoping that women will lead them. Handle your business and God’s business Girl!
It is what the Bible teaches us to do….”older women teach the younger women.” Sadly, in many cases that is not what is happening to our world today…. Young women are not being taught the values of godly living but instead Silly Women are leading them right on into worldly thinking while promoting things that will cause them much sorrows and unhappiness.
Without a doubt. Even if you are addressing issues that married women face. The girls today are savvy and if not, this bold world warrants that they be aware. Women’s events are fine for the Titus 2 connection of older teaching younger women, but the more intimate setting of home and hospitality really shouts interest, trust, and caring. We can all take part in mentoring someone to love Jesus more and more, and then they will quite naturally love and befriend the least to the greatest as opportunities arise because Jesus-living becomes their nature, not their second nature.
If breakout sessions are part of the event, you want the discussions to be age appropriate. Depending upon the intimacy of breakout topics, separate groups for the teens might be appropriate. Women who need help with abuse or other issues might be reluctant to speak if young women were present. An event encourages and promotes safety and privacy that difficult revealing and conversations will go no further than the event.
Yes, I highly recommend that ladies bring their daughters, granddaughters, and neighbors ages 12-13 and up to our monthly Sister 2 Sister events. We offer worship, meal, speaker who covers everyday issues backed by biblical truth, and we have table talk time. I encourage ladies to bring their daughters to our overnight retreats. We still have some moms who use the retreats as respite from daily life and they choose not to bring their girls. Others do bring girls, mostly 15 years and up.
Yes!! We are commanded in Scripture to teach!
Our experience…The best thing… at age 15 she can see into her future by listening to choices and consequences of others. Everyone else at the event loved the youth factor …for their wisdom and fresh perspective. It is breathtaking to watch God work through all of the women of age. My heart too, feels that God is creating a movement to LIFT women to flow THROUGH the generations, and as a result? We will IMPACT our families, businesses, and entire cultures- straight from the HEART of the home. (aka: a woman’s heart).
I would like to add, in our case, we had a very deep filled, release of fear in our class- and subjects of abuse, murder etc. All of the women were set free- including the younger generation … no one felt like they needed to hold back. However, MAYBE it depends on the type of group you have.
You could add to that: “How many of you are careful to invite OLD women who feel very left out?
We need every generation in our groups. Only then do we have the body life Paul speaks of in Corinthians. We need their wisdom!

I didn’t edit these, and as you can see the majority of these women’s ministry leaders championed including the younger generation. These young women today face worldly choices and temptations at very young ages, and we need to reach them BEFORE they make unhealthy choices that they will live with for the rest of their lives. And for those women who have already made some regrettable choices, we need to introduce them to our gracious, loving, and forgiving heavenly Father.

Mary (mother of Jesus) was probably only 15ish when the angel Gabrielle told her to go to her relative Elizabeth (John the Baptist’s mother) who was in her 80’s, and what a beautiful mentoring story. I wrote about that mentoring relationship in Face-to-Face with Elizabeth and Mary. Surely, this is still God’s will for one generation to teach and train the next!

My 9 yr-old granddaughter and I are studying together Face-to-Face with Mary and Martha

Special Offer

If you’re starting a fall women’s Bible study, I’m offering a face-to-face chat on Google Hangout with every group that orders their Face-to-Face Bible studies from our website for the remainder of August and September. Order your studies, and I’ll contact you about when we can chat.

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*Thelma Wells Facebook Note about Opening Picture

The God of the Universe has called me to speak to the nations about His mercy, grace, love and glory and has freed my daughter Vikki and her daughter Marsaille to travel with me to the Women of Faith Conferences throughout America to spread His good news. I give thanks to God in the name of Jesus for this blessing. Marsaille is 10 years old and God has called her to proclaim His name in song, poetry, dance, acting and worship. She is mentored by the best, her mother and other family members, The Women of Faith speakers and performers and gets to learn from Sadie of Duck Dynasty and entertainers like Building 429, and watch the dynamic Sandi Patty. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Dedicate your children to God, lead them to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ because you do not know what doors will be opened for them by God!
A grateful Grandmother, Thelma Wells, Core Speaker for Women of Faith

August 17, 2015

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When Is Being “Responsible” Not Righteous?

Recently, as I’ve been taking a vocal stand against immorality and championing morality, I’ve experienced some pushback and been called names like “legalistic,” “righteous,” and “self-righteous.” I’ve also read many arguments justifying unrighteous behavior as being “responsible.”

So the Holy Spirit started stirring thoughts in my heart about why being righteous is a good thing, actually a gift from God, but responsibly doing an unrighteous act is a wrong thing. There’s no right way to “responsibly” do the wrong thing…I’m just sayin’ it doesn’t compute.

Let’s Look at Righteous Versus Self-Righteous

⁷But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you. ⁸And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment. ⁹The world’s sin is that it refuses to believe in me. ¹⁰Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more. ¹¹Judgment will come because the ruler of this world has already been judged. John 16:7 NLT

[Tweet “No one is able to earn a righteous standing in God’s sight, so in His grace and mercy God gave us righteousness as a gift through Jesus Christ.”]

No one is able to earn a righteous standing in God’s sight, so in His grace and mercy God gave us righteousness as a gift through Jesus Christ. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin (Romans 3:20).

For if, by the trespass of the one man [Adam], death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ. Romans 5:17

So when someone calls me “righteous” when I’m speaking against sin or unrighteous behavior, I say, “Thank you! As a Christian, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I strive to follow in the righteous footsteps of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. So you’ve just confirmed I’m making progress. And BTW isn’t it interesting that the root word of righteous is right.”

If they call me self-righteous or legalistic, I correct them: “No, because I’m speaking from God’s Word and not my words or feelings, I’m God-righteous. Do you have a problem with God’s righteousness? No one can be righteous on his or her own, we’re all unrighteous sinners, but we’re made righteous through our relationship with Jesus Christ. Would you like to know more about how to live in righteous peace? The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever (Isaiah 32:17).” And

¹⁰For,

“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.
¹¹They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
¹²For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. 1 Peter 3:10-12

What’s Wrong with Being Responsible?

[Tweet “Responsible is usually a good thing, but it can also justify bad or sinful behavior”]

Responsible is usually a good thing, but it can also justify bad or sinful behavior. Let me give you examples:

Scenario One

A young girl goes to Planned Parenthood to get birth control pills because she wants to have “responsible” sex with her boyfriend. An oxymoron: Having sex with her boyfriend is irresponsible, but she’s justifying her immoral behavior by “responsibly” getting birth control pills! Naught. The responsible and righteous thing to do would be to tell her irresponsible boyfriend that she’s not having sex until she’s married, and if he’s not OK with that, she’ll find a boyfriend who responsibly respects her. That would be responsible. Instead of teaching young people to be righteous and moral, our culture is teaching them how to be “responsible” sinners!

Scenario Two

In my book, Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I tell the story of how my daughter left for college to live with her boyfriend. But while she was still in high school, she told me she wanted to go live with him at his parent’s house because that would be the “responsible thing to do to determine if they were compatible.” I was able to talk her out of doing such an irresponsible thing, but I couldn’t talk her out of living with her boyfriend in college … but I did pray her out of that relationship … and eventually prayed her into wanting to live a responsible righteous life as a follower of Jesus. Praise God!

Scenario Three

A pregnant woman goes to Planned Parenthood to get an abortion as the “responsible thing to do considering her circumstances.” Our culture tells her that instead of doing the righteous thing and giving her child life and then perhaps finding a good home for the baby, she should “responsibly” kill it.

Then there’s the ensuing aborted baby “tissue” and baby parts, so our culture says the responsible thing to do is to sell them for research. So abortionists have become “responsible” barbarians.

Scenario Four

The topic of drinking always brings up the word responsible. And you know what? Everyone has a different definition of what “responsible drinking” looks like. Some will say only wine, others only beer. Some will say one drink … maybe two. Others say it’s OK to drive after one or two drinks, while others say it’s only responsible to drink at home, even though it’s in front of your kids. So really everyone makes up their own definition of “responsible drinking” to justify the way they want to drink.

There’s always the argument that you can reach the world better if you fit in more with them. Jesus definitely went to Zacchaeus’ and Matthew’s house, but His sole purpose was to help them and their friends change their ways and become His followers … not to responsibly join in their sinful behavior.

Scenario Five

There’s the argument that letting gays get married will make them more responsible about not transmitting AIDS and other diseases characteristic of homosexuality. Really? Legalizing a practice that goes against everything God created man and woman to be and defiling His design for marriage, is simply, “responsible” sinning.

Holy and Set Apart

In God’s Best for Your Life, a Bible study I wrote for First Place 4 Health, I discuss that as Christians, the Bible clearly instructs us to live holy, righteous, and set apart lives: in the world but not of the world. The world today isn’t going to like us because our Christian lives convict them and make us look “holier than them.” Hmmm … maybe that’s because through Christ we are sanctified. What’s wrong with living holy lives as God calls us to live? Why would we be offended or try to fit in more with culture than with God’s kingdom here on earth?

¹⁶For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. ¹⁷For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.” Romans 1:16-17

We’re responsible as Christians to live righteous, holy lives as best we can, and not try to find loopholes in the Bible to “responsibly” justify our unrighteousness. So sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, abortion, abusing our bodies with drugs and alcohol, and any immoral behavior isn’t responsible or righteous.

[Tweet “If we prayerfully make righteous choices, they’ll be responsible choices!”]

If we prayerfully make righteous choices, they’ll be responsible choices!

Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; ¹⁷for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. ¹⁸For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Romans 14:16-18 NKJ

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August 10, 2015

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How to Reach Out to a Young Mom

Today’s guest post is by Arlene Pellicane, author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom. As I read Arlene’s post today, I thought back about the young mother who just moved into our community and is trying so hard to make friends. I invited her to bring her three kids over to play with my grandkids this week and they had several fun play dates, including time at the pool. Then at church this morning I told another young mom who also lives in our “mountain community” about our new neighbor. I suggested I get these two moms together to meet for coffee and she was all for it. Then I read, the following post and realized I’d been doing exactly what Arlene is talking about here … and I, of course, am not a young mom … I’m a Grammie who God can use to encourage and mentor younger moms.

I’m also honored that some of my own story is in Arlene’s new book and she’s offering a free copy to one of you. So just leave a comment on the blog to enter the drawing. Be sure you check the box to receive email responses to the blog or include your email address so I can let you know if you’re the winner.

Guest Post by Arlene Pellicane

Whether you are an introvert, extrovert, or a mix in-between like me, everyone needs to be in some kind of community. I know many women who left the workforce to become a mom, only to find the days eerily lonely. Motherhood can be a lonely profession. When you meet a new mom, take a moment to ask a few questions. You might be the bridge between that lonely mom and another woman who may share common interests.

[Tweet “Motherhood can be a lonely profession. “]

You Can Be the Difference

Recently I was at a birthday party for one of my child’s classmates. A nicely dressed woman came my way and said, “I don’t know if you remember me, but I met you years ago at the library. You told me about a mom’s group. I wanted to let you know I joined and it made a huge difference to me and I wanted to thank you.”

After she told the story, I did remember striking up that conversation during a “mommy and me” reading time. She was a new mom looking for support and I pointed her to a local group for moms. She acted on the suggestion and gained a solid group of new friends as a result.

You could be the difference for a lonely woman around you. Look around in your circles. Is there a mom who could use a friend? Are there two people in your life who you could connect because they have common interests or common stages of life?

[Tweet “You don’t have to set up an elaborate meal at your home to show someone hospitality. “]

Don’t be afraid to invite a young mom to coffee. She’ll be honored at the invitation. You don’t have to set up an elaborate meal at your home to show someone hospitality. Just spend less than $10 at a coffeehouse and one hour of your time. That could make a huge difference in the heart of a struggling mom.

Hug a Friend in Real Life

[Tweet “But if we’re not careful, we can think social media serves all our needs for community. Yet nothing replaces a hug from a friend.”]

The advent of social media allows you to look at photos of friends and family members in faraway places. But if we’re not careful, we can think social media serves all our needs for community. Yet nothing replaces a hug from a friend. Hugging a friend or laughing out loud with someone is a natural way to fight stress and anxiety. Social media can meet a need in our lives for connection to a degree, but it can’t replace physically meeting other moms who understand your life. In my book, 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom, my friend, Laura Petherbridge, the Smart Step-Mom, gives this advice:

One of the most encouraging things I can say to a step mom who’s feeling like a failure or a total disappointment as a stepmom, is God created us for community. He created us for community with people in similar circumstances. I cannot encourage a stepmom enough to get into some type of a group or event with other stepmoms who understand her pain and loss. At the stepmom retreats I lead, the number one thing moms tell me is I finally feel like I am not alone anymore. I finally feel like I am not the wicked stepmother. Now I have one or two sisters who get it. When they are up, they can help me and vice versa. It’s not commiserating; it’s not about bashing the biological mom or stepkids. It’s getting with a strong group of stepmoms who want their marriage to be strong and thriving and encouraging each other. There is nothing I have discovered that takes the place of that.

Laura’s counsel about being in community with like-minded moms rings true, whether you’re a stepmom or not. And when reaching out to moms, remember the advice of Dale Carnegie, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

By the way, you may be a young mom yourself who can reach out to a mom who is the same age, but who has younger children.

What’s something you have done to reach out to a mom? What worked? What didn’t?

Giveaway book: 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom. Just leave a comment on the blog to enter the drawing. Be sure to include your email address or check the box to receive email notices from the blog so you’ll know if you are a winner.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She is also the co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Gary Chapman). She has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.

Arlene lives in the San Diego area with her husband James and their three children.

To learn more and for free family resources such as a monthly Happy Home podcast, visit www.ArlenePellicane.com

You’ll also enjoy this short video created by Arlene Pellicane and her sweet children.https://youtu.be/SV2ewzM1THE

August 3, 2015

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Love Your Body–Use Technology to Lose Weight

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

It’s Love Your Body Monday and today my beautiful daughter Kimberly Mancini is our guest blogger. Here’s her story of how even a fitness instructor has to count calories—exercise alone will not get you to your ideal body weight unless you’re willing to also reduce caloric intake. I recently heard a woman say, “I know I don’t look like it, but I’m on the treadmill every day.” I wanted to interject … if you would change your diet, you would look like it!
Many people tell me, “I don’t eat anything all day. Or I barely eat anything. I don’t know why I can’t lose weight.” They are eating because that’s what puts on extra weight–maybe it’s mindless snacking, or cleaning up a kids plate, or eating the wrong foods at meals. So Kim has a great calorie-counting-made-easy encouraging story:

Forty is the New Twenty … Naught

By Kim Mancini

Forty is the new twenty. At least that’s what they say right? I entered my forties feeling great. As a fitness instructor for the past 10 years, I work hard to stay physically fit. I’ve always eaten healthy foods in moderate proportions. I’m by no means a “clean” eater, but I do make healthy choices.

With each child I birthed, I held onto a residual five pounds, which I embraced. In the six years since my youngest was born, I’ve been the exact same weight. No matter how good or bad I was with my eating, the scale never budged one way or the other.

That was until this past year. It budged … I stepped on the scale and to my surprise, a new number appeared … up two pounds. No biggie. I was slightly alarmed, but no need to panic, yet. I would simply skip the ice cream tonight, and problem solved. I confidently stepped on the scale the next day fully expecting to see a familiar number, but that was not the case ….Up two more pounds!

I tried to convince myself that I was probably just retaining water since I had done a hard workout at the gym the previous day. My body was most likely holding onto the extra water weight to cushion my sore muscles. Of course, there was a perfect explanation. I would wait a week or so and weigh again when I wasn’t feeling sore after a workout.

When I did decide to revisit the scale, I didn’t expect to see what I saw. That darn thing moved up two more digits. What was happening? I had now crossed over into a new set of tens, and that wasn’t something my head could easily wrap around. I panicked a little at this point. It looked like it was time to get more serious about things. I would need to end my love affair with ice cream. We’re talking about the girl whose freezer is constantly stocked with what my mom likes to call “31 Flavors.” Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Fear of the Scales

Product Details

I became frightened of the evil scale lurking in my bathroom. It took me a while to work up the courage to revisit my old friend, but eventually I came around. Two more pounds … Ugh! And then again, two more a couple of weeks later. A total of eight pounds gained within about four months. Things were not looking good.

I seriously needed to re-evaluate what was happening in my life, and it was time to make some changes. I had recently started substitute teaching while my kids were at school and this had been cutting into my gym schedule. I had gone from teaching about 10+ classes per week at the gym to now only 5 per week. Even though I had cut my exercise in half, I was still working out regularly and staying active. This shouldn’t be so hard. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was now in my forties. Even though I felt like I was in my twenties, this was not the case.

Getting Serious About Losing the Extra Pounds

[Tweet “Eating more calories than your body uses equals weight gain!”]

My husband received a Samsung smart watch for Christmas, and let me borrow his device to accurately track my physical activity. (Some people use a Fitbit). Once I saw that I was reaching the minimum goal of 10,000 steps per day (sometimes more than double that), I realized my eating was leading to my sudden weight gain.

Product Details

In May of this year, I began to log on a fitness App, linked to the smart watch, what I ate and drank. I could calculate how many calories I should be consuming based on my activity level and how much weight I wanted to lose in a given amount of time by going to a website such as this: https://www.supertracker.usda.gov/bwp/index.html.

You simply plug in age, height, weight, gender, activity level, and how much weight you want to lose over a given time. The calculation tells you how many calories you need to maintain your current weight, or lose desired weight and maintain your new weight.

Now to count my calories. I used a default App on my Samsung phone, but there’s many health and fitness free Apps available through the play store on Android phones, or iTunes on Apple. Just search “health” or “fitness” and you’ll find many choices. Another popular site is myfitnesspal, and my husband uses mapmyfitness.

Now, armed with this new information, and logging EVERYTHING that went into my mouth for a month, (including the three pretzel sticks dipped in Nutella), the weight came off rather quickly. I lost seven of the, “being Forty-something is NOT Twenty-something,” eight pounds that I had gained over the last year. I was on a roll! I only had one more pound to go, in addition to the extra baby weight I’d become accustomed to over the years. Might as well lose that too right?

Counting Calories Works!

At this point, I thought I had things under control, so I backed off logging my food/drink intake, and guess what happened? As soon as I stopped logging, I stopped losing. Could there be a correlation? I think so. Suddenly all my progress came to a screeching halt.

There’s something about knowing I was going to have to log that extra handful of (fill in the blank _____________). I would ask myself if I really wanted those calories to take up some of my total daily intake. Watching the calories add up throughout the day, put a stop to the mindless snacking and kept me sticking to portion sizes. It looks like I’ll be back to food logging. It works!

Why do you spend your money on junk food,
    your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?
Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
    fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
    listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.–Isaiah 55:2-3

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July 27, 2015

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Is the Light On In Your House?

“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”

Jesus said to every Christian in Matthew 5:14-16

Have you ever noticed that the Holy Spirit shining through you can either light up a room or clear it? I’ve often told my husband that I wonder if we’re not invited to certain events because of our conservative Christian beliefs. We don’t drink, swear, tell dirty jokes or laugh at them … but we’re a lot of fun, kind to people, and remember everything we said or did the night before!

Proud to be a “Right-Winger”

Recently, I had a conversation that shed some light [pun intended] on why some people might be uncomfortable around us. I was talking with a repairman who had recently done some work in a new neighbor’s house. He described them as: “They’re really nice people, but very right wing! I couldn’t get the h*** out of there fast enough.”

Seeing the shocked look on my face, he quickly interjected, “But they’re really, really, really nice people!”

I thought to myself, Of course they’re really nice … they’re Christians.

A friend recently wrote a blog about her missionary work in Brazil where their group went into homes sharing the Gospel, and experienced the same reaction as this repairman. She wrote:

“The aroma of Christ – Wow! Now I get it! Those whose hearts were open to the leading of the Holy Spirit said “Yes” to Jesus. Those who closed themselves off from the Holy Spirit could not wait for us to leave their house. Either way, God was pleased as we continued to share the awesome gift of salvation.”

Two verses come to mind:

They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Ephesians 4:18

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

Then I wondered how many workers or guests had come into our Christian home and couldn’t wait to get out? Probably a few. Our prayer is that they would be attracted to our light and not repelled.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10.

My Walk on the Dark Side

For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life. Psalm 56:13

I remember clearly what it was like when I was walking in spiritual darkness during my backsliding days, and so I have insight into people blinded to the light of Jesus. Maybe God allowed me to experience those dark days so I would know how to reach people stumbling in the dark, who think their sin is actually fun and become defensive when someone tries to shine the Light into their evil dark world.

During my dark days, I wasn’t ready to listen to anyone, even though God tried many ways to reach me. I can remember making frequent business trips from Orange County to Bakersfield and the only radio station that would come in was a Christian station. Often, the same thing would happen at home.

I also had a Christian girlfriend who was single like me and our children were friends. She would often talk to me about the things I was doing, but I wrote her off as just a really nice friend; but I didn’t let her words penetrate my hardened heart.

Another time, I hired a Christian as an insurance agent to work in my division and he brought several others on board. I remember looking out of the high-rise office-building window and seeing them huddled together in prayer in the parking lot. I was appalled at their open display of faith. I wonder now if maybe they were praying for me. Later, after I rededicated my life to the Lord, I found myself out of a job for professing my faith!

God protected me during the many dark days when I made foolish choices, even as I would sit in church on Sunday morning and know I was going to sin that night. Only by the grace of God did my daughter and I survive my role modeling to her the dark side of a seemingly successful life. I write openly about those days in my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. I was a prodigal raising a prodigal.

We’ve All Experienced the Dark

I get so frustrated with those who are intentionally living a sinful life today … stumbling around in the dark, especially those who know better … Christians, who like me, walked out of the light back into the darkness. Satan makes sin seem alluring, just like he did with Eve. He even makes it seem fun. After all, if sin wasn’t fun, why would anyone do it? When the Light shines on that “fun,” we all look back and think how could I have thought that was fun … it was sick and depraved.

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord. Psalm 89:15

Those of us who now live in the Light all came out of some kind of spiritual darkness, blinded to the truth of the Gospel. It’s hard to imagine that anyone would choose to go deeper into the dark when they’ve experienced the light, but sadly many do and many are sitting in our churches today. They show up on Sunday, maybe attend a Bible study, and even could serve in a ministry, but they’re living a lie. There’s blatant sin somewhere in their life and the Light is convicting them…but not enough to change their ways.

You know what I’m talking about, the couple that looks so perfect sitting together and smiling through a Sunday morning service and the shock the church feels when they find out the husband has been having an affair for years or is addicted to porn. Maybe that husband was your pastor. No one is above the wiles of Satan! That’s why I am such a proponent of mentoring and accountability. We all have potential to fall away … we need someone shining the light into our life and asking us hard questions.

[Tweet “Our world is falling into darkness at a faster speed than ever in history.”]

Our world is falling into darkness at a faster speed than ever in history. Who would have imagined 20 years ago that:

The Supreme Court would change the definition of marriage to accommodate same-sex marriage, when homosexuality is abominable to our God and marriage is the sacred replication of Christ and His church?
A once God-fearing nation would now try to take God out of every aspect of public life?
Planned Parenthood would not only be murdering babies in their mother’s womb, but also be selling precious unborn baby body parts? Barbaric is the word we would have used! Detestable unbelievable!
Or that our government would sign a treaty with our enemy and put our ally Israel in direct danger?

And yet, every day, there’s another shocking headline that our world is submerging deeper into the depths of darkness, a mire from which we may never recover.

Where is our Hope?

[Tweet “How do we keep our light shining when the world wants to snuff it out? “]

How do we keep our light shining when the world wants to snuff it out?

How do we stay strong and keep the aroma of a Christ-centered home?

No other way, but through abiding in Jesus and the Word of God. No other way! Do you believe that? Are you in His Word EVERY day? Are you praying every day for a revival of the Light? Don’t lose hope and don’t lose courage.

[Tweet “If you’ve let the darkness slip back into your life, repent, ask Jesus for forgiveness,”]

If you’ve let the darkness slip back into your life, repent, ask Jesus for forgiveness, and turn from your wicked ways now. Find a mentor or a pastor to help you make the necessary changes and then walk in the Light.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

If you understand what I’m talking about when I say “live in the Light” then shine your spiritual flashlight into the lives of those you know who need Jesus. None of us knows when He’s coming back, but we do know that He is coming and those still in the dark will be in darkness forever. I hope that’s a sobering thought for you as you think of that relative, friend, neighbor, or co-worker who needs salvation and needs it now.

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

Many liberals on the left side are angry, defensive, and lashing out calling us things like “righteous” as if that’s a dirty word. “Christian” is spit out as vial. “Right wing” someone they need to avoid. They’re so angry and mean … because they’re living in a world of Satan’s darkness with no hope beyond this life. This is all they have and they have no hope for any kind of life after death … which could be right around the corner for any of them. Christians say death where is it’s sting, and they cry don’t let me get stung by death.

“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.—1 Corinthians 15:55-57

I don’t have all the answers as to how God will let you shine your light, but God does, so ask Him. What does He want you to do? How does He want you to do it? Then listen for that still small voice and look for that bright spotlight He’s going to shine on the opportunity. You have nothing to lose, but you just might be the flashlight He will use to wake someone up to the Truth that will set them free from the grip of Satan.

The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there.

Revelation 21:23-25

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July 20, 2015

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Losing My Job for Living Out My Faith Was the Best Thing That Could Have Happened to Me!

Daily we hear of people fired or sued for standing up for their Christian beliefs in a culture that is no longer Christian-friendly or God-honoring. As I read about the case of the Atlanta Fire Chief Kelvin Cochran, fired for publishing a men’s devotional book for a Baptist church group on his own time, God reminded me of how He changed the course of my life in a similar way.

In Cochran’s book, “Who Told You That You Were Naked?” he addressed issues of homosexuality, gay marriage and premarital sex from a biblical perspective.

Cochran has been a firefighter since 1981 and was appointed Atlanta’s fire chief in 2008. In 2009, President Obama appointed him as U.S. fire administrator for the United States Fire Administration in Washington, D.C. In 2010, he returned to serve as Atlanta’s fire chief.

The controversy with his book began in late 2014, when gay activist groups caught wind of the literature and demanded that Cochran be dismissed. Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed then acted to suspend Cochran and ordered him to undergo “sensitivity training.”

[Tweet ““In the United States of America, Americans should not have to choose between keeping your job and living out your faith,””]

“In the United States of America, Americans should not have to choose between keeping your job and living out your faith,” Cochran told The Daily Signal in an exclusive interview. “And that’s the position the city of Atlanta actually has taken—that I have to have a choice to live out my faith or to keep my job.”

Cochran’s story took me back to December 14, 1995, when something very similar happened to me.

My Unjust Demotion Was A Divine Moment

Many of you know that the Lord called me into ministry when He told me to “Feed my Sheep.” You can read more of my story on my website. At the time, I was running a successful branch of a national insurance company and had been attending Fuller Theological Seminary at night and on the weekends for a year.

I joined the insurance company in 1987, while still in my worldly, backsliding, single days, and worked my way up from an insurance agent to a Division Manager. In the summer of 1992, I rededicated my life to the Lord at a Harvest Crusade with Pastor Greg Laurie, and that December I married my godly husband Dave. My life took a radical change and I no longer participated in many of the “social” activities of the business, and I was open about my faith and my rededication to Christ.

My boss heard about me attending seminary and on December 14, 1995, he called me into his office. For some reason, I sensed I might need a witness, so I asked one of my District Managers who worked for me if he would accompany me. This gentleman and his wife were fellow Christians and we had become friends as couples.

Neither of us could have imagined what would happen next. To this day, my friend says he witnessed a “divine moment” and he has told the story many times as a testimony

My boss started the conversation by saying he’d noticed a difference in me. Something to the effect that I wasn’t “all-about-the business anymore.”

[Tweet “I told him my priorities had shifted to putting God first, then my family, and my job in that order, “]

I told him my priorities had shifted to putting God first, then my family, and my job in that order, but I was still maintaining all my sales numbers and fulfilling my management responsibilities. I had a great team working for me and our sales remained high.

He responded: “In a perfect world, that might work; but in this world [he named the insurance company] must be your god and the company must come first in your life! So I’m demoting you from Division Manager and you’ll now work as an agent again out in the field under …” and he named a person leading a division an hour away from my home.

Division Manager had been a high-paying, high-profile job with lots of prestige, independence, and success. But now, it was as if Jesus was standing behind my boss’s chair asking me who I was going to serve: the company or Jesus?

[Tweet “At that moment, it was as if Jesus was standing behind my boss’s chair asking me who I was going to serve.”]

Easy decision. I prayerfully resigned and launched the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church, completed my Masters of Arts in Christian Leadership at Fuller Theological Seminary, and started About His Work Ministries, my writing and speaking ministry.

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.—Matthew 6:24

I Could Have Sued

With today’s anti-God culture, I’m not sure I would have a legal case against my boss and the company, but 20 years ago I might have had one, and I had a witness who was more then ready to take an oath to all that he had witnessed.

This wasn’t the first time I’d been harassed by this same boss. While supposedly interviewing me for a training video, he first started asking questions about my sex life in front of the camera crew. When I quit the company, the camera crew came forward and said they would gladly testify to what they had witnessed.

I prayed about both situations and realized that I should thank this boss for helping me make a hard decision. When you’re comfortable and making a good living, even though you know it’s not where God wants you … it often takes something like this to plummet you into doing the right thing.

The Lord reminded me that vengeance was His and that I was not to waste my time, energy, or money on a lawsuit. God would take care of it…and He did. I later heard that this boss was fired from the company over similar misuses of his position.

[Tweet “The Lord reminded me that vengeance was His “]

Using My Talents and Gifts for God

[Tweet “What if you used your talents for God?”]

As a Division Manager in the insurance agency, I gave daily presentations to recruit new sales agents. I was often one of the top recruiters in the company, and I had been a successful agent too. I found that sales came easy to me. Over the years, I had given the same recruiting presentation so many times, I could think about other things simultaneously. So one day as I gave the rote presentation, I heard God’s voice saying to me, “What if you were as good at winning souls for me and doing something you believe in, as you are at winning recruits for a business you don’t believe in as much?”

God planted the seed, but I wasn’t ready to take such a huge risk and quit my job even though I knew I no longer belonged there. My husband and I were blending a family, we had a mortgage, car payments, lived in expensive Southern California… couldn’t I just go to seminary and then wait to see how God wanted to use me when I finished?

That would have been the safe, comfortable, easy way, but that day in my boss’s office, God was asking me pointedly, “Who will you follow … right this moment? Man or Me?”

“I Envy You!”

As I was packing up my office after I resigned, one of the other Division Managers who had recently become a Christian came over to take some of my supplies. He had a large family, lived an expensive lifestyle, and knew about our boss’s misuse of his position, but he felt trapped. He said, “I envy you. You’re getting out.”

My happy ending didn’t tie up neatly in a bow. I continued going to seminary and started the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry in my home in January 1997, but in March of that year, my husband was laid off from the job that was supporting us. Still God whispered, “Where I guide, I will provide.” And He did … our lifestyle changed drastically, but the mentoring ministry was spiritually maturing and winning women for Christ. You can’t put a dollar value on that!

[Tweet “Where God guides, He will provide!”]

And today, God has taken Woman to Woman Mentoring around the world and thousands of women have experienced the blessings of growing together in Christ through resources I wrote to help churches start their own mentoring ministries.

On my website, I tell the story of how this was the time where About His Work Ministries got its name.

Choose Today Who You Will Follow—Man or The Messiah

[Tweet “It’s not popular today to take a stand for God in a world turning away from God’s Words and His ways.”]

It’s not popular today to take a stand for God in a world turning away from God’s Words and His ways. You’ll be rebuked, unfriended, called names, maybe even spit on …just like Jesus was. It would be easier to remain silent or not voice the Truth that you know in your heart. The risk might be too high you say. What if I lose my job? My friends? My standing in the community?

But what is anything worth without your integrity and the peace of knowing that you did not deny Christ in your heart, your words, or your actions. God will honor your loyalty to Him … He guarantees it.

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.—Matthew 16:25-27

What if I hadn’t quit that insurance agency? What if I had fought for my just rights in the company and in court? Woman to Woman Mentoring might never have been birthed.

God had a plan, and while I didn’t know what it was at the time, I knew it would be big because He was giving me a big testimony to share. My husband and I have never looked back from that defining moment in our lives, when God so clearly asked me, “Who will you follow: man or Me?”

Where do you need to take a risk for God today?
When have you been silent and you know you need to speak up?
Who is watching how you live out your faith?
What changes do you need to make to live out your faith more boldly?

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July 13, 2015

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Caught Between Gay and God

I’m back after taking a brief blogging sabbatical in June. We had a wonderful family reunion and then I headed off to Orlando for the Advanced Writer’s and Speaker’s Conference and the International Christian Retail Show. And that’s where I was when I heard the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize gay marriage. The room swirled around me and I felt nauseated. How could this have happened? Why were five judges allowed to try and overrule The Judge? How could they make a legal ruling on a moral issue? What was God feeling about all of this? What should Christians do? What should I do?

So many questions without answers, except for the ones about what should Christians and I do? We should stand firm on the Bible even though there are those who try to twist the Bible to support their opposing views. God showed me that the gay community calls heterosexuals “straight” and here’s the definition of straight from Roget’s Super Thesaurus:

Unbent, undeviating, linear, direct, square, aligned.
Honest straightforward, frank, candid, upfront, forthright, trustworthy, reliable, sincere.
Undiluted, pure, whole, unmodified, unmixed.

So stay straight and undeviating in your faith, aligned with God’s “undiluted” Word.

If heterosexuals are straight what are homosexuals? Often they are meandering, mixed up, confused, off track, and lost their moral compass. They may turn to the gay lifestyle because of something in their past. No one is born homosexual, but circumstances in their life might lead them to seek refuge in the gay community and they need our help, love, and guidance in straightening up their life from the twists and turns it’s taken. What they don’t need is for us to twist, bend, and expand Scripture to make it support the culture’s view of homosexuality.

You Probably Know a Person Sinning Sexually

[Tweet “You Probably Know a Person Sinning Sexually”]

Most people today know someone who is living in sexual sin. Maybe it’s a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, a niece or nephew, a sister or brother. Maybe it’s one of your own children. Sadly, our culture now normalizes many of these sexual sins—hooking up, sex outside of marriage, living together, getting pregnant before marriage .. or maybe no intention of marrying, transgenderism…. While adultery still seems acknowledged as a sin and unacceptable, the gay agenda is becoming accepted and now the courts have had the audacity to legally change the definition of marriage to include a relationship outside of God’s design. But no law can change the laws of God. There’s no right way to do the wrong thing!

Today’s culture not only tolerates sexual sin, it accepts and celebrates it. So what are you to do about that person you know who is choosing a sinful, immoral sexual lifestyle, when the majority of society has decided it’s no big deal? You love that person and you want to continue the relationship, even though as a Christian you feel convicted that something isn’t right about this. You want to support them, and try to convince yourself that because it’s your child or loved one who has chosen sin, it’s really not all that bad.

Many of you are torn between love for your friend or relative and love for God’s Word? If that’s you, ask yourself some hard questions: How could I confront them about the sin and help them find their way to God’s forgiveness? How could I let them wallow in the dark, knowing that for those who have accepted the world’s ways over Jesus’ ways, they’re going to end up in eternal fire instead of eternity with Jesus? How could I ever forgive myself for not praying for them to change their ways? How could I go before Holy God with a clean heart knowing that I might have enabled my friend or loved one’s sin rather than loving him or her to the cross?

A friend recently posted this on Facebook “I am finding so many Christians waffling in their beliefs because they have become more concerned with the approval and appeasement of someone they know and love rather than being more concerned with that person’s eternity.”

This is exactly what I’m seeing too and it’s breaking my heart. I wonder if Christians who have changed their profile picture to a gay flag, realize that they’re waving a flag that says a professed Christian now has decided to oppose God’s ways in favor of the world’s ways? How will they explain that to God when they meet someday? How will they tell Him that the applause of men meant more to them than the applause from heaven?

[Tweet “How will you tell God that the applause of men meant more to you than the applause from heaven?”]

How could anyone interpret “Love your neighbor as yourself” to mean loving your neighbor’s sin? Does anyone love himself or herself more when sinning? Is anyone happier when he or she sins? Do you celebrate your sin and even try to get it legalized?

[Tweet “Do you celebrate your sin and even try to get it legalized?”]

What About the Person Who Claims to be a Christian but Also Persists in Sexual Sin or Approves of Same-Sex Marriage?

Last week, I attended the International Christian Retail Show and picked up John Bevere’s Good or God? It caught my attention since my new book coming out in March is How Good is God? I Can’t Remember…. Here’s an excerpt from Bevere’s book:

“Have you encountered someone who professes to know Jesus Christ, and has done so for some time, but lives as if he or she has never met Him? Why is this? This person is simply not experiencing the process of transformation. They are not being changed into His likeness.

“Paul prophesied that our days will be difficult. Interestingly, he wrote that these stressful times will not result from persecution for our faith, as in his day, but from professing Christians who don’t keep the words of Jesus.

“Paul clearly stated, “They will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power (2 Timothy 3:5 TEV). These professing believers are deceived, for they will be “always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7 TEV)…. Many such “believers” attend churches, conferences, worship nights, Bible schools, and connect groups. They love learning but remain unchanged in character and behavior.

“Here’s the bottom line: only those who walk in holiness can see God—can enter His presence. Jesus couldn’t have made it any clearer when He said, “A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me … I will love him and manifest Myself to him” (John 14:19, 21).

Jesus stated that only those who keep His commandments are the ones He will make Himself apparent to. They will be the ones who see Him, who enter His presence and thereby come to know Him intimately. This privilege is not promised to all believers, only to those who pursue obeying His Word—those who pursue holiness.”

A good word from John Bevere to those who profess to be Christians but are living in sin instead of holiness or are enabling and cheering on someone living in sin. If I just described a Christian you know, here is what believers are called on to do…

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. (Galatians 6:1-2)

Our Story

Lest you think I don’t know what it’s like to have a loved one choosing to sin, or haven’t been there myself, I wrote a book sharing the journey of praying for my daughter who was living with her boyfriend … something I had modeled to her when I was in my backsliding years running from God. Now, you may say that it’s no big deal anymore with so many people choosing to live together…but I beg to differ with you. Sin is ALWAYS a big deal no matter how many people are doing it. Majority never trumps morality.

[Tweet “Majority never trumps morality.”]

I had rededicated my life to the Lord and thought Kim would follow in my footsteps, but she didn’t. I had a hard choice. I loved my only daughter with an unconditional love, but I could not love what she was doing. I never condemned her, but I never condoned her chosen lifestyle. I did nothing to enable, celebrate, or support her choice.

Instead, I loved her like crazy with an unending mother’s love, kept communication open, and prayed every single day for her out of God’s Word. I prayed Scripture over her and for her. That didn’t make her happy, and she wanted nothing to do with my faith. But that didn’t daunt me. Knowing that she was not a believer and was going to hell, kept me on my knees every day for six years. Today we share our story together in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter and in person, and she always thanks God and me that I never gave up or gave in to the sins she was committing.

[Tweet “Do you love your friend or relative enough to stand in opposition to their sin and stand in the gap for their salvation? “]

Do you love your friend or relative enough to stand in opposition to their sin and stand in the gap for their salvation? You will be accountable for how you answer that question. I pray you choose eternal life for them, it’s the most loving thing you could do. Ignoring their sin, condoning their sin, and celebrating their sin, loves them straight into hell, which is real. We’re all going to die and go to either heaven or hell. What kept me on my knees for my daughter was a recurring dream of her calling out to me from the fiery pit asking me why I didn’t tell her where she was going? I knew that I would continue to expectantly and persistently pray for her until my final breath. Praise God, I got to witness her transformation into the godly woman she is today.

⁴For God did not spare even the angels who sinned. He threw them into hell, in gloomy pits of darkness, where they are being held until the day of judgment. ⁵And God did not spare the ancient world—except for Noah and the seven others in his family. Noah warned the world of God’s righteous judgment. So God protected Noah when he destroyed the world of ungodly people with a vast flood. ⁶Later, God condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and turned them into heaps of ashes. He made them an example of what will happen to ungodly people. ⁷But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. ⁸Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day. ⁹So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment. ¹⁰He is especially hard on those who follow their own twisted sexual desire, and who despise authority.—1 Peter 2:4-10 NLT

Here is an example of how I prayed Scripture:

I pray that my daughter Kim will know the truth and that the truth will set her free. (1 John 8:32 )

Lord my daughter Kim has lost her footing and been swept off her feet by lawless and loose-talking unsavory people. Please grow her in grace and understanding of You, our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 3:28 MSG)

I pray that in all ways Kim will submit to you and you will make her ways straight. (Psalm 3:6)

There are 40 Days of Praying Scripture in the Appendix of Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter which would apply to anyone you are praying for and there are also stories from praying mothers of lesbians and other sexual sins.

Stand Strong

If like me, you’re speaking out against the immoral atrocities taking place in our culture and getting a push back from professing Christians, the Holy Spirit reminded me that this is what Moses and Jeremiah must have experienced. Or Paul when he saw the churches who professed to know Jesus and follow Jesus, turn to sinful and immoral ways. How he pleaded, begged, professed his love with them in 1 and 2 Corinthians, Ephesians, Romans, Galatians, Colossians and left those pleadings and counsel for us to read and apply today…and yet look at how far we’ve fallen away. Yes, grace can cover a multitude of sins … but grace and mercy comes after confession, repentance, asking for forgiveness from Jesus, and a sincere change of heart to go and sin no more!

[Tweet “grace and mercy comes after confession, repentance, asking for forgiveness from Jesus, and a sincere change of heart to go and sin no more!”]

This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. 1 John 1:5-10.

If you received this post by email comment here.

Here are additional posts you might want to read. I wrote the one on Balancing Grace and Truth last year.

Balancing Grace and Truth

These 35 Companies Just Told America Exactly What They Think About the SCOTUS Gay Marriage Ruling

40 Questions for Christians Now Waving Rainbow Flags

Here We Stand: An Evangelical Declaration on Marriage

A Surprise Prophetic Word about the Supreme Court Same-Sex Marriage Ruling

July 6, 2015

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Side Note

What Next?

Pastor Brian Smith’s Opening to Sermon on Colossians:

Janet’s Challenge to You

Maintenance is the Goal, Not Weight Loss

Here’s the Weight-Loss Secret Revealed—There’s NO Secret Miracle Way to Get Slim Fast and Keep it Off!

The Only Goal that Equals Maintained Weight is a Life-Heart Change Goal

Actions Speak Louder Than Our Words, or in this Case, Lack of Words

Daily Walk Devotional, August 4, 2015, Suggests an Enlightening Exercise:

We Should Never “Fit In,” There Should be Something Different About Us!

How Do We Take Jesus with Us?

Why Did They Ask My Husband If He Was LDS?

What Can We Do?

How Does Titus 2 Apply Today?

A Survey of Women’s Ministry Directors

Special Offer

*Thelma Wells Facebook Note about Opening Picture

Let’s Look at Righteous Versus Self-Righteous

What’s Wrong with Being Responsible?

Holy and Set Apart

Guest Post by Arlene Pellicane

You Can Be the Difference

Hug a Friend in Real Life

Forty is the New Twenty … Naught

By Kim Mancini

Fear of the Scales

Getting Serious About Losing the Extra Pounds

Counting Calories Works!

Proud to be a “Right-Winger”

My Walk on the Dark Side

We’ve All Experienced the Dark

Where is our Hope?

My Unjust Demotion Was A Divine Moment

I Could Have Sued

Using My Talents and Gifts for God

“I Envy You!”

Choose Today Who You Will Follow—Man or The Messiah

You Probably Know a Person Sinning Sexually

What About the Person Who Claims to be a Christian but Also Persists in Sexual Sin or Approves of Same-Sex Marriage?

Our Story

Stand Strong

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