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Has the Church Focused too Much on God’s Love and Not the Fear of God?

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Is the Church Focusing to Much on the Love of God and Not the Fear of God

“God is love. He doesn’t care,” she continued.

Those are the words of a “gospel singer” who left her husband to enter into a lesbian relationship. I couldn’t help but think this woman has sung many songs about God over the years and certainly heard as many or more sermons. So how did she conclude that because God loves us He doesn’t care when we sin? He’s fine with it?!

You can tell that she knows this is wrong or why try to justify this relationship?

Then there’s the gay Democrat presidential contender, Pete Buttigieg, who explains his homosexual relationship/marriage, “At a recent fundraiser, he said of his same-sex “marriage”: “[it] has made me a better man [and]…moved me closer to God. If being gay was a choice, it was a choice that was made far above my pay grade.”

He then added, “That’s the thing I wish the Mike Pence’s of the world would understand, that if you have a problem with who I am, your problem is not with me. Your quarrel, sir, is with my creator.”

“The reality, of course, is that the mayor’s quarrel isn’t with Mike Pence. His quarrel is with the clear texts of Scripture that both identify what marriage is and what it is for, as well as how homosexual behavior is sinful. His quarrel is with natural law, reflected in the biological roles our bodies play and the universally embraced connection of marriage and procreation, even by societies not influenced by Christian morality. And of course, his quarrel is with 2,000 years of unanimous Christian witness on marriage and sexual morality.”–The False God of Feelings: Mayor Buttigieg’s Pro-Gay Christianity

Buttigieg is rationalizing that how we live is God’s fault because He created us with the ability to make choices. Yes, it’s true God gave us free will, but we’re accountable for how we use it. We can’t blame God for the bad things we do or the sinful way we choose to live and then say He’s ok when I sin. Naught!

God made Adam and Eve too and He gave them a choice to follow His commands. And we know how their choice turned out. Following the politician and singer’s rational, it would be God’s fault for Adam and Eve’s bad choice so God was Okay with it. Again, naught!

[Tweet “Death and hell became realities when Adam and Eve chose the Devil’s ways and since the day God kicked them out of the Garden of Eden, we all have the propensity to sin, but God is not okay when we make that choice.”]

Death and hell became realities when Adam and Eve chose the Devil’s ways and since the day God kicked them out of the Garden of Eden, we all have the propensity to sin, but God is not okay when we make that choice. The Bible proclaims just the opposite. God is never OK when we give in to Satan’s evil wiles.

But the singer and “Mayor Pete’s” comments are worthy of our discussion because there are many today, even in the church, who agree that our feelings and what we want to do, even sin, is fine with God because He’s a God of love. However, they conveniently overlook the fact that just because He gave us feelings and choices, He also gave us commands and Scriptures to guide us in making the right choices and avoiding the wrong ones.

[Tweet “To say that God endorses sin of any kind in his creation is blasphemy, even when said by those who should know better in the church.”]

To say that God endorses sin of any kind in His creation is blasphemy, even when said by those who should know better in the church.

Satan knows how to twist Scripture and tempt with, “Did God really say_______?” Fill in the blank with any sin. It’s not just the homosexual lifestyle. Last week I wrote about Abortion: The Crime of Passion.

It can be cheating on your taxes, lying, stealing, coveting, taking the Lord’s name in vain, adultery, abuse, and so many more sins of choice.

Scripture is “Inclusive”

A popular word in today’s culture is “inclusive,” which can be used as a weapon for forcing people to accept precepts that go against their faith and beliefs. The Bible also uses inclusive words, but in a different  context. Everyone is born with potential to do many wrong things and we’ve all sinned. Absolutely everyone. Not just the singer or the politician, everyone. “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (Romans 3:23 NLT). That’s pretty inclusive. We all have sin in common.

But God doesn’t want us to stay in that degenerate place of sinning. “If you love me,” Jesus says in John 14:15, “you will keep my commandments.”

[Tweet “Sadly, Satan makes evil look good and blinds to the Gospel.”]

Sadly, Satan makes evil look good and blinds to the Gospel. When he turns hearts away from Jesus, we become just as we’re born, selfish and self-determining. “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5).

We want what we want and think a loving God would want that for us too.

Wrong!

Yes, God made us with the potential to do many things, but He doesn’t say everything is right. He doesn’t want us to stay sinful.

“No one is righteous—
not even one.
11 No one is truly wise;
no one is seeking God.
12 All have turned away;
all have become useless.
No one does good,
not a single one.”[b]
13 “Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
Their tongues are filled with lies.”
“Snake venom drips from their lips.”[c]
14     “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”[d]
15 “They rush to commit murder.
16     Destruction and misery always follow them.
17 They don’t know where to find peace.”[e]
18     “They have no fear of God at all.” Romans 3:9:18 NLT

There is an answer to our sinful nature: ask and accept God’s grace and forgiveness. 

All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else.

4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) Ephesians 2:3-5 NLT

Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? 2 Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Romans 6:1-2

Buttigieg may feel that his same-sex relationship has somehow brought him closer to God, but if so he would know and honor God’s commandments and sense the Spirit’s conviction.

The singer might think because God is love, he’s ok with her sinning. He is not. He loved her so much John 3:16 says  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life, so she could be forgiven to go and sin no more.

What Does It Mean to Fear God?

[Tweet “Have we forgotten how to fear God, but have turned Him into some fake God who loves us so much He has no problem with our sin.”]

Have we forgotten how to fear God, but have turned Him into some fake God who loves us so much He has no problem with our sin? My mom used to say, “Remember God is watching what you do.” That’s a good thing to remember. We’re not getting away with anything. God knows everything.

We always know our parents love us, but there should also be a healthy fear of them catching us doing something wrong because they’re going to discipline us. Not because they hate us, but because they love us. If they let us do anything we wanted from childhood, we would probably err on the side of selfishness and self-serving. That’s why they gave us boundaries and guidelines for life. And if we love our children, we should do the same.

That’s what the Bible is for Christians: a guide in how to live a life pleasing to God. And when we choose to live differently, it saddens Him because He knows we know better. But He will let us live with the consequences of our sinful choices. “Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts.” Romans 1:18-32 describes God’s anger at sin. Don’t think that those words don’t apply to all of us.

[Tweet “the consequences on judgement day will be a horrible fate for those who have spent their lives trying to make God the Deity they want Him to be: trying to make God in their own sorry sin-loving image. “]

It’s tough love and the consequences on judgement day will be a horrible fate for those who have spent their lives trying to make God the Deity they want Him to be: trying to make God in their own sorry sin-loving image.

[Tweet “Never doubt there will be a judgement day and how we have lived on earth will define our eternity.”]

Never doubt there will be a judgement day and how we have lived on earth will define our eternity. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” (Galatians 6:7)

That’s not fear, that’s fact.

Many try to describe the fear of God as simply meaning to be in awe of Him. That’s certainly one meaning, but the meaning of fear more prevalent in the Bible is reverent, respect, honoring, cherishing, fear of disappointing our Great God by doing wrong in His sight.

Just like we never stop being our parents children even when we hurt them by doing wrong, Christians will always be God’s children, but He will never be “ok” with our sin.

Dr. Jeremiah summarizes this contrast between the love of God and the fear of God in his book What Are You Afraid of?

“On many occasions throughout my forty years of ministry, people have questioned me about the subject of God’s judgement. Often they say something like this: “My God would never send anybody to hell or punish someone for doing evil. My God is a God of love.”

I usually answer by telling them that their God does not exist. There is a God to love and there is a God to fear, and He is one and the same! Did He not judge His own Son as a demonstration of His love for the world? And did He not then show His love for the Son he judged by raising Him from the dead? How silly to think that if He is a loving God, He cannot also be a fearsome God. The two attributes complement each other.”

I’m sure you’ve heard many sermons on the love of God, but when is the last time you heard a sermon on the fear of God? 

Don’t wait to hear it from the pulpit, read it for yourself in your Bible. You won’t be held accountable on judgement day for what your pastor did or didn’t preach. No, you’ll be held accountable for how you loved God enough to respect and fear Him by obeying His commands.

For the honor of your name, O Lord,
forgive my many, many sins.
12 Who are those who fear the Lord?
He will show them the path they should choose.
13 They will live in prosperity,
and their children will inherit the land.
14 The Lord is a friend to those who fear him.
He teaches them his covenant. Psalm 25:11-14

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Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

June 10, 2019
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Abortion: A Crime of Passion

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With all the discussion lately about abortion, the focus has been on the depravity of late term abortion now legalized in some states, and the life-saving efforts of other states to eliminate abortion completely. But what I haven’t heard in the public discourse is what leads to abortion in the first place: sex!

No one seems to want to touch the underlying cause of 59+ million babies murdered since Roe vs Wade became law at a time of sexual revolution with the advent of birth control pills and the availability of abortion to anyone who wanted it, regardless of age or reason. Though, originally abortion was supposed to be safe and rare, with the advent of Planned Parenthood it became another form of birth control and frequent. Approximately 20% of pregnancies end by abortion!

Boys and girls, men and women, felt the freedom to have sex with whomever they wanted whenever they wanted because if they got pregnant, all they had to do was find the money to get an abortion. And many girls and women have stories that they didn’t stop having indiscriminate unprotected sex after their first abortion. No, they did it again and maybe again…

Feminist actress Alyssa Milano by her own admission wanted women to go on a sex strike when Georgia passed a law prohibiting abortion after a detected heartbeat. She said women couldn’t afford to get pregnant because they couldn’t have an abortion. In other words, abortion, not protection, is your failsafe way to deal with the product of conception: a baby! “Our reproductive rights are being erased. Until women have legal control over our own bodies we just cannot risk pregnancy. Join me by not having sex until we get bodily autonomy back.” So says Alyssa Milano.

What she and many others fail to address is that a few moments of sexual passion and pleasure can lead to a lifetime of living with the murder of their own babies. Today, you hear women, especially liberal actresses and politicians, celebrating the death of their babies, but I surmise that they’re actually angry, hurt, and anguished over what they’ve done. If they can get a group together with similar feelings, they can live in denial knowing they’re not alone. They find comfort in commonality. Like the old adage, “misery loves company.”

[Tweet “Today, you hear women, especially liberal actresses and politicians, actually celebrating the death of their babies, but they’re actually angry, hurt, and anguished over what they’ve done”]

My friend Patti Smith wrote a blog about the devastation of her own abortions: Nobody Told Me the Truth. Maybe that’s you and you were misled or misinformed. Patti learned that God is the God of forgiveness as she learned the truth. I’ve heard good things about Project Rachel: Hope After Abortion. After your own healing, like Patti, God may use your past to help another woman not let it become her future.

[Tweet “Before ultrasounds and heartbeat monitoring, women bought into the lie they were told that it’s just a blob of cells that can’t feel pain.”]

Before ultrasounds and heartbeat monitoring, women bought into the lie they were told that it’s just a blob of cells that can’t feel pain. But now, we know none of that is true. We can see the baby developing and hear the heartbeat at six weeks. We know, without a doubt, that life begins at conception. Yet there are still many lobbying for killing that human being, even after it takes its first breath! Inhuman barbaric depravity is actually celebrated in Congress and some state governments.

[Tweet “The Devil tries to seduce with deception by calling the baby a “fetus,” which sounds clinical and not like a human being.”]

The Devil tries to seduce with deception by calling the baby a “fetus,” which sounds clinical and not like a human being. But I’ve never heard a woman say she’s pregnant with a fetus or a blob of cells. She says she’s going to have a baby: a precious, fragile, defenseless human being that she can “choose” to murder or let live.

Liberals and abortion advocates try to couch the killing of babies by using terms like: A woman’s right to choose. Reproductive rights. Control over our own bodies. Healthcare. A decision between the woman and her doctor. Prochoice. A war on women.

Even a SCOTUS said you can’t call a pregnant woman a “mother”!  A woman who exercises her constitutionally protected right to terminate a pregnancy is not a mother” – Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. If she’s not a mother what is she?

Read a father’s reply to Ginsburg’s outrageous statement as he discusses that even babies who die in miscarriage still have a mommy and daddy.

[Tweet “Abortion is not a constitutional right.”]

Abortion is not a constitutional right. The Constitution says everyone has a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and that includes everyone with a beating heart. You would think a Supreme Court Judge would know that. But that’s how delusional some people have become. Another sly deception is to confuse by denying biology that every baby has both a mother and a father.

Let’s look at some common deceptions.

  1. “A woman’s right to choose.” In 99.9% of situations, a woman does have a right to choose . . . if she’s going to have sex or not. That’s her choice.
  2. “Reproductive rights” start with the right to say yes or no to sex. Sex leads to reproduction. A scientific and biological fact and a right God gave to every man and woman who chooses to have sex.
  3. “Healthcare.” There’s nothing healthy for a woman to have a baby poisoned, burned, dismembered, or sucked out of her womb.
  4. “It’s my body.” It’s not her own body. She didn’t create herself. God did by her parents having sex to create her. Then she used her body to have sex and create a body separate from hers with its own heartbeat, eyes, ears, mouth, nose, brain, organs, skin, arms, legs, sensitivity to pain, and cry.
  5. “Bodily autonomy is a human right.” Autonomy does allow a woman to choose to have sex with her body, but when she creates another body, that little body has autonomy and a human right also.
  6. “Abortion is morally good.” When murder becomes morally good and justified, we’ve definitely regressed to barbarism and savagery. Promiscuous sex is morally wrong. Two wrongs do not make a right.
  7. “It’s a decision between a woman and her doctor.” When a girl or woman goes into Planned Parenthood, they don’t see the doctor until they’re in stirrups and he’s killing her baby. And often it’s not even a doctor performing the abortion.
  8. “Prochoice.” The argument is between prolife and prodeath advocates! That’s something no one wants to say.
  9. “A war on women.” Hmm. How about we stop the war on babies, both male and female.

Abortion is a crime of passion

Why is the Movie Industry so Pro Abortion?

That answer is clear: money. Sex sells. Sex leads to unwanted pregnancy, which often leads to abortion. So Planned Parenthood, Hollywood, elites, and liberals are in the Devil’s circle.

[Tweet “Sex sells. Sex leads to unwanted pregnancy, which often leads to abortion. So Planned Parenthood, Hollywood, elites, and liberals are in the Devil’s circle.”]

Almost every movie and most TV programs show couples going on a date and having sex. Maybe not even the date first. Entertainment exploits explicit sex. Everyone sleeps together, hook ups, casual promiscuous sex is presented as the norm, and sadly, it’s become the norm. You don’t see women saying no or concerned with pregnancy.

[Tweet “Virginity is only said with respect at Christmas with the “Virgin Mary.””]

Virginity is only said with respect at Christmas with the “Virgin Mary.” Young people often don’t even know what virgin stands for today. Girls and women who’ve had multiple sex partners are still married in white, maybe pregnant or carrying their baby and no one blinks at it. I saw a program with girls picking out wedding dresses and one of them laughed, “Maybe I’m pregnant.” It was funny, not remorseful. I applaud the women who choose to keep their babies, I just wish they had also chosen to save God’s gift of virginity for the man they want to spend the rest of their life with because you can only give the gift of virginity away once.

[Tweet “Today’s culture considers abstinence until marriage archaic and laughable and scoffs at anyone who dares to suggest it, or chooses to live by God’s moral principles.”]

Today’s culture considers abstinence until marriage archaic and laughable and scoffs at anyone who dares to suggest it, or chooses to live by God’s moral principles.

And that brings us to a place those of us who have lived a while would never have expected possible in America: infanticide.

Abortion has become the accepted crime of unbridled passion and lust. Sex for murder.

[Tweet “Abortion has become the accepted crime of unbridled passion and lust. Sex for murder.”]

There’s only one entity who could bring us to this despicable time in history: Satan.

[Tweet “No matter how anyone tries to twist God’s Word, he designed sex to be between a married man and woman. That’s it! No exceptions.  “]

No matter how anyone tries to twist God’s Word, he designed sex to be between a married man and woman. That’s it! No exceptions. Everyone who is having sex any other way is sinning. I didn’t make that rule, God did. Many today try to make God into their own image the way they want to live, but you’ll always be going against God’s will for you.

God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them
reflecting our nature . . . Reflecting God’s nature.
He created them male and female.
God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!” Gen. 1:27-28 The Message

There’s no right way to do the wrong thing. There’s no justification for having sex and killing a baby because the sex was convenient, but the baby is inconvenient.

So what can you do about these atrocities?

  •  Let your voice be heard in your state’s legislature.
  • Be a voice for the voiceless. Boldly and unashamedly stand for prolife as an abolitionist.
  • Mentor women who are having indiscriminate sex, considering an abortion, or had an abortion. I give ideas about how to do this in my book Mentoring for All Seasons.
  • If you’re having sex outside of marriage, stop now!

[Tweet “Our culture today is playing God by choosing who can live and who should die. That’s not going to end well.”]

Our culture today is playing God by choosing who can live and who should die. That’s not going to end well.

Then I saw another angel flying in midair, and he had the eternal gospel to proclaim to those who live on the earth—to every nation, tribe, language and people. 7 He said in a loud voice, “Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of his judgment has come. Worship him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea and the springs of water.”

8 A second angel followed and said, “‘Fallen! Fallen is Babylon the Great,’[a] which made all the nations drink the maddening wine of her adulteries.”

9 A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice: “If anyone worships the beast and its image and receives its mark on their forehead or on their hand,10 they, too, will drink the wine of God’s fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. They will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb. 11 And the smoke of their torment will rise for ever and ever. There will be no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and its image, or for anyone who receives the mark of its name.”

12 This calls for patient endurance on the part of the people of God who keep his commands and remain faithful to Jesus.

Revelation 14:6-12

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June 3, 2019
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An Easter Morning Testimony

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IMG_4102

I thought you would enjoy a flashback with me. Our church puts on an Easter Sunrise Cowboy Breakfast down at the river behind our church for the community. It’s a great outreach.

I love that in Idaho, Sunrise Service starts at 8:00 am! When we lived in California the sun rose at 6:00 am.

My husband, Dave Thompson, was asked to give his testimony one year and he allowed me to share it with you today. Enjoy and be blessed.

Dave’s Easter Testimony

I learned about God and Jesus in my teens, but in my early adult years – I became a self-made man.

Robert Ringer’s book Looking Out For Number One became my motto – in his book he talks about don’t let anyone take your marbles, so I walked over and through everyone or anyone in my way to achieve my goals.

I was a successful corporate executive married with a young family with a large home in an influential community. I had it made, so I thought, until it all came crashing down! I was eventually divorced, my family split up.

It was then I began a real relationship with Christ.

I dedicated my life to Jesus and reversed my motto, and let the only Real #1 look out for me. He does so much better than I could ever do.

When you think about it . . . who could better look out for you than the One who is:

Omnipresent – always with you

Omnipotent – all powerful

Omniscient – seeing all and everything ahead goes before you preparing the way.

So you ask: What has Christ meant in my life? Everything!

He has taken me with all my sins and prideful ways, and made me His child, an adopted heir. He loves me more than anyone else could, or I could ever love myself.

[Tweet “[Christ has taken me with all my sins and prideful ways, and made me His child, an adopted heir. He loves me more than anyone else could, or I could ever love myself.”]

Further, I would have never met the love of my life, my beautiful wife, Janet, if it were not for my relationship with Christ. You see, we met in a church small group at Saddleback Church and have grown together in a true marriage triangle relationship with Christ at the apex.

My wife, Janet’s writing and speaking ministry, About His Work Ministries, was born out of our love for Christ and His church.  Many lives have been changed by Him using her, us, and our experiences, challenges, and trials as vessels to help others.

[Tweet “When you give your life and your time to Christ and make yourself available, He molds you and makes you into who He wants you to be and uses you and the gifts He has given you to help others.”]

When you give your life and your time to Christ and make yourself available, He molds you and makes you into who He wants you to be and uses you and the gifts He has given you to help others.  In fact, our ministry tagline “Sharing life experiences and God’s faithfulness” defines our life in Christ.

[Tweet “If you are a self-made man or woman stop playing king of the mountain, give up your fight to stay on top and let the only one who belongs there take your place.”]

So if you are a self-made man or woman stop playing king of the mountain, give up your fight to stay on top and let the only one who belongs there take your place. He will give to you more abundantly than you could ever imagine. He will not only renew your mind, but He will change your heart.

Happy Easter and God bless you all!

We hope you had a blessed Easter and a chance to tell someone, or many someones, that Jesus is Alive!

Testimony originally given on Easter April 1, 2013

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April 22, 2019
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Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband By Cindi McMenamin

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My dear author friend of twenty years, Cindi McMenamin, has a new book out 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband.  If you’re married, engaged, know someone married, or mentoring a married woman, you’re going to want to pick up this valuable book full of experience, suggestions, and tips. We all want a happy communicative marriage, but if you’ve been married for very long, you know that takes work and lots of prayer.

Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband by Cindi McMenamin

Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband

By Cindi McMenamin

As I’ve mentored women over the past two decades, I’ve seen one issue continue to plague wives, regardless of how long they’ve been married – a communication gap in their marriage that leads to emotional distance.

Can you relate? Have you heard, or said yourself, the following statements?

I don’t know how to talk to my husband without him becoming defensive.

I’ve tried everything, he just won’t talk to me.

No matter what I say it comes out wrong. Is it me or is it him?

Whether you’ve heard other women say that or you’ve said it yourself, that gap – which can leave a husband and wife feeling isolated from one another – is more serious than you may realize.

[Tweet “A lack of communication is now the No. 1 cause for divorce in America.”]

A lack of communication is now the No. 1 cause for divorce in America. Just a decade ago it was adultery, but today failing to communicate, communicating poorly, or just letting the emotional gap widen between a husband and wife can be most fatal to marriages.

[Tweet “Eliminating the communication gap is essential to experiencing more in your marriage.”]

Eliminating the communication gap is essential to experiencing more in your marriage. That is the primary reason I wrote my newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband. You and I can be experiencing more trust, more passion, and yes, more communication with our husbands when we understand what motivates them, as well as what wounds them.

For years, my husband (Hugh) and I struggled with this communication gap because of our many differences. He is an introvert. I am an extrovert. He came from a family that stuffed and stifled their feelings. I came from a family that verbally over-communicated their feelings. To this day, Hugh will readily admit he is not the communicator in our marriage. I am. But just because I’m a writer, speaker, and therefore a communicator by profession, does not necessarily mean I communicate well with him. In fact, because I know how to communicate in general I figured I had it made when I got married. I was so wrong.

Through the years (three decades of marriage, in fact), my husband and I have both had to figure out how to communicate well with each other.

We did that by developing an awareness of what was causing us to close off from one another. And get this. We weren’t even aware that we were reacting to one another out of unresolved issues in our lives.

Reacting Out of Our Pain

[Tweet “It’s human nature for couples to react to one another out of their pain.”]

A counselor friend of mine shared with me that it’s human nature for couples to react to one another out of their pain. Certain words or situations will trigger pain in us and we end up reacting defensively. It’s natural, then, to filter our life’s experiences through that grid of pain and sometimes end up seeing our spouse – rather than an unhealed issue in our lives – as the problem.

[Tweet “Identify and let God heal issues to close the communication gap with your spouse.”]

Here are some ways to identify and let God heal the issues so you can better communicate and close the gap with your husband:

  1. Realize the deeper core wound that is driving the problem or argument. When you and I first understand our own pain and insecurities and then develop a greater understanding of what causes our husbands’ pain, we can work to better communicate and reconnect. Instead of thinking my spouse is just an angry man, say “I had no idea that my husband struggled so much with feeling he was not succeeding in the relationship.” What we focus on grows. If we focus on what our husbands are doing wrong, that will grow. If we focus on the fact that he’s a good guy that will heighten our awareness to see that.

[Tweet “What we focus on grows. If we focus on what our husbands are doing wrong, that will grow. “]

  1. Resist the urge to be defensive, accusative, or angry at your husband’s words, actions, or responses. People who hurt, hurt people. When your husband lashes out or says something unkind, it’s possible he is feeling lashed out against. Be open and curious. Tell yourself, “My husband is a good man, he is loving and is maybe acting like a jerk right now, but what is going on inside of him?” Practice Ephesians 4:29 and make sure, even in the heat of the moment, that you don’t let “any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).

[Tweet “People who hurt, hurt people.”]

  1. Reject the lies that get you off course and create division between you and your spouse. Your husband’s wounds aren’t the only ones in the picture. We wives get triggered by a situation or by certain words and then we believe our lie: I am alone. I am devalued. I’m not appreciated. I’m not respected. We end up responding to our husbands because we believe a lie that doesn’t have anything to do with them.

[Tweet “Reject the lies that get you off course and create division between you and your spouse.”]

  1. Receive the truth of who you are in Christ. Once you receive the truth that you are not alone, you are valuable in Christ’s eyes, and you’re deeply loved by God, you can be more emotionally regulated and attuned to your husband. John 8:32 tells us “Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

Instead of getting anxious, withdrawing from, or lecturing your husband when you feel hurt, you can remember the One who has redeemed your life and say, “I realize when you said this I felt devalued and started to shut down, but now I realize I am valued in Christ and I can choose to be connected and get close to you.”

Each of us has to feel emotionally safe in order to start moving toward the other person to close the gap. Our only safety is in our relationship with Jesus. When we understand who we are in His eyes and we feel safe in Him, we can feel safe with others, too. And then, we can start actively closing that communication gap.

Which of these steps do you find is the most challenging?

Leave your comment below and you’ll be entered to win a signed copy of Cindi’s newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband: More Trust. More Passion. More Communication. (U.S. mailing residents only please). Winners will be notified via email on February 12.

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

4 Ways to Better communication with your husband by Cindi McMenamin

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of 16 books who helps women strengthen their relationship with God and others. She has been married 30 years to Hugh, a pastor and introvert, who shared his insights in her newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, upon which this blog is based. For more on her ministry and discounts on her resources to strengthen your soul, marriage, and parenting, see her website:www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

February 5, 2018
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How Can A Word Change Your Life?

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“My word for this year is peace,” my friend texted me.

Hmm, I’ve read on social media about many people choosing a “word” for the year, but this hasn’t previously been a habit of mine. I talked last week about how I prayerfully set goals for the year. If you haven’t read it yet, the topic was “5 Ways to A Fresh Start in the New Year.” I also spoke of starting a daily devotional that I had requested for Christmas: The Believer’s Code: 365 Devotions to Unlock the Blessings in God’s Word. Each day’s devotion has a “Code Word,” which is a devotional thought on that day’s Scripture passage. So God had been putting the idea in my mind of a daily word from His Word, but I hadn’t considered a yearly goal word.

As my friend and I texted back and forth, I reflected on last year. God did give me a word for 2017—hope. I wrote a blog about how hope helped me traverse through a difficult health year: I Didn’t See This Coming!

How a Word Can Change Your Life, mine for 2017 was hope.

So after prayer, I decided my word for 2018 would be “calm.” If you know me personally, or have ever heard me speak, you know this will be a huge stretch for me! But hey, I wrote last week that goals shouldn’t be too easy and should cause you to stretch. My husband responded to my word, “That’s going to be a challenge for you!”

I’m a very excitable person. If they used the term ADHD when I was a kid, my mom would’ve used it to describe me! She wouldn’t tell me about fun and exciting things we were going to do because . . . well, she didn’t want me getting so excited! Since childhood, I’ve had the gift of discernment, so the minute I saw her starting to get ready, I knew something was up. Then she had to deal with my overly enthusiastic reaction. I’ve always felt I missed many opportunities to enjoy and savor anticipation.

As a public speaker, audiences tell me they appreciate my passion, enthusiasm, and excitement.

Those are positive qualities in the right context, but I can also use them in a negative way to win a disagreement or prove a point. Or I can become agitated anticipating the future. In my mom’s defense, I was such a conscientious student that I almost had an ulcer at twelve-years old! I also have IBS, which only flares up when I’m in nervous anticipation. When the situation arrives, I’m usually centered; but leading up to it can cause turmoil in my tummy.

My husband is the opposite temperament, as God often does in matching couples! We took a personality test when we were engaged, and you couldn’t get any further apart on paper than our results. And we would both admit that twenty-five years later, I still have to work at tempering my responses and he tries to rise a bit to my level of enthusiasm. He’s the calm one; I’m the whirlwind.

But I have calmed and quieted myself. Psalm 131:2

Of course, right after deciding to stay calm when more appropriate than an outburst, I was tested. The first few times, I did well . . . but then I heard myself losing my cool and I had to determinedly focus on being quiet and calm.

So calm won’t come easy and so it shouldn’t. It will keep me dependent on God to advise me when it’s appropriate to let my natural enthusiastic, passionate personality shine through, and when I need to take a deep breath, say a prayer, and let God shine through with a quiet and gentle spirit . . . something few people would describe me as possessing.

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:4 NLT

I will have to pray this Word from God often: He [God] says [Janet], “Be still, [calm] and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

[Tweet “More important than focusing on a “word” is focusing on The Word of God—the Bible—daily.”]

Even more important than focusing on a “word” is focusing on The Word of God—the Bible—daily. If we really want our transformation into a new creation in Christ, then we must immerse ourselves in His Word. There is no other way. Often people say they want to get closer to God and His Son, Jesus Christ, but that will never happen without reading His communication to us through His Word.

[Tweet “If we want transformation into a new creation in Christ, we must immerse ourselves in His Word.”]

In the beginning the Word already existed.
The Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
  He existed in the beginning with God. John 1:1-2 NLT

For the word of the Lord is right and true;

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
    their starry host by the breath of his mouth. Psalm 33: 4,6

We’re so fortunate to have many ways today to access God’s living Word: online, electronics, kindles, IPads, phones . . . and hard copy in numerous translations available for purchase at bookstores and online. Often something readily available in abundance isn’t properly valued.

[Tweet “Often something readily available in abundance isn’t properly valued.”]

  • How many translations of the Bible do you own but seldom open?
  • Do you have a phone app so the Word can be with you always?
  • Have you spent time on websites like Biblegateway.com or Blueletterbible.org where you can read the same passage in numerous translations and research commentaries?
  • How often do you read God’s Word?

[Tweet “If God is a priority , shouldn’t we want to talk to Him and hear from Him over all the chatter of the world and of others?”]

If we say God takes priority in our life, shouldn’t we want to talk to Him and hear from Him over all the chatter of the world and of others? I know you know the answer is yes!

So whether or not you arrive at a word for 2018, commit to spending time in God’s Word and you know what will happen . . . you won’t find it so hard to stay true to a specific word, or even need one, because all of God’s Word will guide your life.

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11

If you want to pick a word as a spiritual discipline this year, in addition to immersing yourself in God’s Word, Tammy Keene’s comment on last week’s blog is a true testimony of how a word from God’s Word can change your life.

Instead of resolutions, I have chosen to focus on specific words for the year. In December 2014, I was challenged to state a word God had given me. With everything that was going on in my life, I knew the word was Trust. In 2015, I trusted God and found myself looking towards 2016 and a new word for the year. My word was Faithful because God was (and is) faithful. My word for 2017 was Able from Ephesians 3:20-21. God has taught me that He is trustworthy, faithful, and able. My word for 2018 is trust His timing. I still struggle with this; however, since I have learned to Trust Him that He is Faithful and Able, I can rest in confidence that His timing is best.

If you have a word for 2018, would you share it with us in the comments? Telling others is a good way to stay accountable.

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

January 15, 2018
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Three Things I’ve Learned in 24 Years of Marriage!

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wedding-picture

Yes, as you read today’s Monday Morning Blog, December 19, 2016, hubby and I are celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary! Several of you have mentioned you enjoy learning a little about my life lessons in these Monday mornings blogs, so as I pondered what to share with you so close to Christmas, I thought what better words of wisdom than what God has taught me about loss, life, and love in our marriage. I hope you’ll keep reading, even if you’re not married, because the principles God has taught me can apply to any relationship.

Loss of Expectations

Our wedding, just six days before Christmas, was a second marriage for both of us. Dave had three children and I had one daughter. I was single for seventeen years and Dave only a few years. The kids ranged in age from fifteen to nineteen, so I didn’t anticipate any problems in everyone living happily ever after.

[Tweet “Blending families doesn’t come without its challenges, and all bring baggage and different ways of doing things from nuclear families.”]

Well, if you’ve blended a family or been around one, you’re probably laughing hysterically about now. Blending didn’t come without its challenges, and we all brought baggage and different ways of doing things from our original families. I learned right away that I was going to have to lower, and in many cases lose, my expectations: we would never be a nuclear family. Christmas or holidays or special occasions would always be a compromise of negotiating between two families, which would only become more complicated as the kids married and added extended families with their own traditions.

I couldn’t control who would be with us on what day or at what time . . . or even at all. There has only been one time since all our grandchildren were born that all four children, their spouses, and the eleven grandchildren were together, and that was at Thanksgiving six years ago at our son’s house—it wasn’t even at our home. For Dave’s 70th birthday last year, I had a dream . . . still hadn’t let go of all those expectations . . . of the whole family celebrating together for a reunion at our home in Idaho, where some had yet to visit. But one family couldn’t join us.

Dave and I have learned to pray about each event, and then enjoy who comes and not worry over who doesn’t. That hasn’t been an easy lesson for me to learn, but it has been necessary to maintain sanity and family relations. It relieves stress, worry, and disappointment when I let go of my expectations and let God fulfill His.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

What Divorced Christians Want You To Know

Life Is Ever Evolving

When we were first married, Dave had a wonderful job with great benefits. I was so happy that I would have some relief from the pressures of supporting a family after seventeen years of being a single mom. So after three years, we decided when the last child left home, I could quit my job and go into full-time lay ministry starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church. If you’re not familiar with the term “lay ministry,” it means no pay. I was never on staff at Saddleback. Three months after I quit my job, Dave was laid off from his corporate career and that was the end of a corporate job with benefits and great income . . . forever!

Read more of that story at About His Work Ministries.

Dave eventually found various labor-intensive jobs, until the last one resulted in him having to have reconstructive foot surgery and medically retire, which is how we ended up moving to Idaho. I tell that story, along with his multiple layoffs, in Dear God, He’s Home!: A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-At-Home Man.

Right before Dave’s second layoff, I had my first battle with Breast Cancer and started radiation two days before our 10th wedding anniversary. Little did we know then that I would go on to have breast cancer two more times, and 6 ft. 4 in. Dave would take a job that had him in a uniform crawling on his belly under houses and in attics. But through it all, God has kept me About His Work, and used us in a mighty way. Dave supports me as I write and speak for the Lord. Dave is my helpmate with his techie abilities, helping with the website, and for those of you who receive our newsletter, I write the articles but he puts it together.

Dave now travels with me when I speak, and the women really appreciate how we work as a team with him “manning” the book table. I used to pray that God would send me an assistant . . . I just never expected it to be Dave. Our personalities and gifts are polar opposite, but God has taught us, as life has evolved over these twenty-four years, how to combine our differences into a united effort working together for the Lord. What Satan tries to pull apart and use to separate us, we’ve learned to identify and let God make us stronger and better together.

[Tweet “What Satan tries to pull apart and use to separate us, we’ve learned to identify and let God make us stronger and better together.”]

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Love Jesus First

pastor-pete-marrying-us

If you’ve read Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter or Dear God, He’s Home! I talk about a Marriage Builders course taught at the time by Pastor Pete McKenzie who married us [picture above]. On a whiteboard, Pastor Pete would draw a triangle with God at the pinnacle, a stick figure man in one lower triangle corner, and a stick figure woman in the opposite corner. Then he would draw an arrow across the bottom of the triangle explaining that when we have our eyes on each other, we’re the farthest apart. Next he would draw arrows up each side of the triangle, explaining that as we each move closer to God, we move closer together.

[Tweet “As we each move closer to God, we move closer together.”]

triangle-charm

On one of our early anniversaries, Dave had a charm made for me (picture above) symbolizing that triangle with the pearl of God at the top and our birthstones on each corner. Yes, my birthstone is a diamond! As long as Dave and I remember to keep Jesus first in our lives, everything runs smoothly in our marriage, no matter how our expectations are dashed, or how our life is evolving for good or bad. But if we take our eyes off Jesus, even for a moment, chaos can reign in our home.

[Tweet “All relationships have challenges, and so often those magnify at Christmas and holidays.”]

All relationships have challenges, and so often those magnify at Christmas and holidays. I hope the three lessons I’ve learned in my marriage, will help you maintain peace, joy, and Jesus’s love no matter what your circumstances or challenges this year or in the New Year. They’re definitely not the only three lessons I’ve learned, but they’re definitely at the foundation of all the others.

“Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.” Ephesians 6:24

Merry Holy and Blessed Christmas to all my dear friends and family.

wedding-on-boat

 

December 19, 2016
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What Does It Mean to “Love Your Neighbor” During an Election or Anytime

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“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40

While walking and praying this past week, the Lord put Matthew 22:36-40 on my heart and impressed on me to write a blog post tying it into the November 8, 2016 election. I wrestled with the thought and wondered if He really meant I should write it after the election, when some might be reading this post happy and others upset about the results. I’ve been vocal on social media, trying to encourage Christians to take a stand for the conservative Republican platform in the election and imploring everyone to look at platforms not personalities of the two candidates. One person said she tried not to take a particular side, but to follow “Love your neighbor.” There it was again. I’ve learned that when God really wants me to do something, He doesn’t let up until I get it.

I thought about how often this verse is taken out of context instead of the complete, “Love your neighbor, as yourself.” It’s sometimes used in chastisement or even as a rationalization for accepting sin.

What Does the Greatest Commandment Say About “Love”?

Matthew 22:36-40 says the first thing we’re to do is love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and soul—love His Word and His ways more than anything else in the world! Everything in us strives to please God first: honor the way He wants us living with a pure heart and mind as the Holy Spirit indwells our soul. God’s standards . . . His Word and His Ways . . . govern every decision and choice we make, every thought we allow in our mind . . . yes, every vote.

Then the second commandment is like it . . . we do the same thing with our neighbor . . . but we don’t just love our neighbor, we love our neighbor as ourselves . . . the same self that loves God with all our mind, heart, and soul. We don’t love our neighbor by the world’s words and ways, but by God’s Word, His Ways, and the Holy Spirit.

Thus the cultural rub. When Christians apply the world’s definition of “love your neighbor” . . . tolerate your neighbor’s sin, just love on them or you’re judging them . . . we aren’t loving our neighbor as ourselves or according to God’s Word, His Ways, and the Holy Spirit. Consequently, many Christians “love their neighbors” straight into hell, without ever telling them about heaven. Not loving or caring about them enough to go to the hard places of talking about good and evil, sin, repentance, forgiveness, and eternal life with Jesus.

The most loving thing any Christian can do is tell someone about Jesus and share the Gospel.

Love them enough to tell about eternity in heaven and the reality of hell.

Meet them where they’re at, but don’t leave them there.

[Tweet “Aren’t you glad someone stepped out of his or her comfort zone to tell you about Jesus and help you make changes in your life “]

Aren’t you glad someone stepped out of his or her comfort zone to tell you about Jesus and help you make changes in your life and ask Jesus for forgiveness? I am. Otherwise, none of us would be Christians today. I would still be wallowing in my backslidden life if Greg Laurie had not loved a whole group of “neighbors” and asked us “Are you ready to die tonight?”

Christians shouldn’t just love ourselves to heaven, we should love our neighbors to heaven too!

How Did Jesus Love His Neighbor?

For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

6 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. 7 Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9 And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. 10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. Romans 5:5-11 NLT

[Tweet “It’s not easy confronting someone with their sin, but when we don’t, we’re condoning it”]

It’s not easy confronting someone with their sin, but when we don’t, we’re condoning it. We do need to establish a relationship first, then share the Gospel and help them confront their sin, ask for forgiveness, and change their ways. Three biblical examples of Jesus loving his neighbor and introducing them to Himself come to mind.

  • When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well, He asked her for a drink (relationship); He told her about living water and eternal life (shared the Gospel); asked about her husband and she admitted she had no husband (confession). He told her he knew she had had five husbands and the man she was living with was not her husband (confronted her sin). He didn’t send her back home to live with her boyfriend, He told her the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). She became the first woman evangelist, “Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I ever did.’” (John 1:4-42)
  • To the woman caught in adultery who he rescued from being stoned to death, He didn’t say: Well they’re all sinners too, we all sin, so no big deal. I don’t condemn you so just be more careful next time. He told her “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:2-15)
  • Zacchaeus was a fraudulent tax collector. When Jesus saw him he said, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” (Relationship) People were upset at Jesus for going to a “sinner’s” house, but Zacchaeus realized his sin (confronted with sin, he repented) and “Jesus said to him, Today salvation has come to this house.’” (Luke 19:1-10). Salvation not just to Zacchaeus, but to everyone in the house . . . you know Jesus shared the Gospel while he ate with them.

I wrote a blog post that might help with Balancing Grace and Truth.

What Does Love Your Neighbor Have to Do with the Election?

two-platforms

[Tweet “the top five issues of two completely different political platforms that clearly delineate God’s way versus the world’s way”]

So how does this all tie into the election? Let’s look at the top five moral issues of two completely different political platforms that clearly delineate God’s way versus the world’s way—two different Americas. Ask yourself is this what it means to “love my neighbor like myself?” Is this what I want for myself . . . my family . . .  my neighbor? Is this what God wants for His people, for America?

[Tweet “A Christian can’t straddle the line between the two platforms.”]

A Christian can’t straddle the line between the two platforms. You must take a stand for right versus wrong, good versus evil. Some “neighbors” will listen and some like the “progressive liberal atheist” lesbian couple supporting Clinton who told me they want to spend eternity in hell together, or the atheist supporting Clinton who would not answer my question asking if she knows where she will spend eternity—will not listen.

If you love your neighbor enough to hope that someday he or she will know Jesus and be in eternity with you, then you must choose the platform that will allow you to freely share the love of Jesus with your neighbor. As I look at these platforms, it’s clear to me there’s only one choice. If you’re reading this after election day, admittedly it’s going to be harder, but we still must honor Matthew 22:36-40.

  1. Sanctity of human life

Democratic

Democrats seek to repeal the 1976 Hyde Amendment so that federal funds can be used to pay for abortions. The platform says, “We will continue to stand up to Republican efforts to defund Planned Parenthood health centers.” Democrats support ratification of UN efforts that affirm “the reproductive rights of women” globally.

Republican
The GOP asserts the sanctity of human life and affirms, “The unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed.” The party supports a Human Life Amendment making clear that the 14th Amendment’s protections apply to children before birth, and it salutes states that require informed consent, parental consent, waiting periods and clinic regulation.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should give them the right to murder their unborn baby He created?

  1. Marriage

Democratic
Democrats applaud last year’s Supreme Court ruling that “LGBT people—like other Americans—have the right to marry the person they love.”

Republican
The GOP platform condemns the Supreme Court’s rulings that removed the ability of Congress and the people to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman. The GOP urges the reversal of those decisions, whether through judicial reconsideration or a constitutional amendment.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should redefine marriage to include same-sex marriage?

  1. Religious freedom—Acknowledging God

Democratic
The Democratic platform says: “We support a progressive vision of religious freedom that respects pluralism and rejects the misuse of religion to discriminate.” The party opposes a religious test to bar immigrants or refugees from entering the country.

Republican
Republicans affirm that religious freedom in the Bill of Rights protects the right of the people to practice their faith in their everyday lives. The platform endorses the First Amendment Defense Act, which would protect faith-based institutions and individuals from government discrimination.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should condone and legalize sin forcing pastors to perform gay marriages or be punished as we’ve seen with bakers, florists, photographers; students shouldn’t be allowed to use God’s name or Scripture in commencement speeches; Christian businesses like Hobby Lobby should be forced to pay for abortions?

  1. Federal Judges

Democratic
The platform says: “We will appoint judges who defend the constitutional principles of liberty and equality for all, and will protect a woman’s right to safe and legal abortion.”

Republican
The GOP platform states: “A critical threat to our country’s constitutional order is an activist judiciary that usurps powers properly reserved to the people through other branches of government.” The GOP supports the appointment of justices and judges who respect the constitutional limits on their power and respect the authority of the states.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor should allow unrighteous judges to make laws beyond their constitutional limits that enforce and legalize sin?

  1. Israel and Jerusalem

Democratic
The platform states: “We will always support Israel’s right to defend itself, including by retaining its qualitative military edge, and oppose any effort to delegitimize Israel. … While Jerusalem is a matter for final status negotiations, it should remain the capital of Israel, an undivided city accessible to people of all faiths.”

Republican
Republicans express “unequivocal support for Israel,” pointing out that it is the only Middle Eastern country with freedom of speech and freedom of religion. The GOP recognizes “Jerusalem as the eternal and indivisible capital of the Jewish state.” The party opposes the U.N.’s treatment of Israel as a pariah state.

Question: Did God mean that loving your neighbor would mean that America should aid the enemies of our ally and God’s chosen people of Israel?

These five platform issues came from Billy Gramham.org Democratic and Republican Party Platforms. More issues are described on their website.

I hope you take the time to read the platforms before you vote and don’t get caught up in the media rhetoric, because the answers to the above questions will be what we live with in the future, and depending on the results of the election, every believer must remember:

In God we trust, not in man or woman.

[Tweet “In God we trust, not in man or woman.”]

You can still make a difference. The article I wrote for Crosswalk.com might be helpful You Don’t Have to Make Movies or Get Elected to Change Culture.

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November 7, 2016
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Kim Davis: A Modern-Day Paul

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Kim Davis' mug shot

If you do not stand firm in your faith, then you will not stand at all. Isaiah 7:9 HCSB

You’ve probably been following the case of Kim Davis, the Rowan county clerk in Kentucky imprisoned in federal jail for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Kim worked in the county clerk offices for 26 years as deputy for her mother, county clerk for 40 years, and then the community elected Kim last November to that position after her mother’s retirement. However the most impressive statistic about Kim Davis is that as a Christian of only four years, she was willing to go to jail to honor God.

[Tweet “the most impressive statistic about Kim Davis is that as a Christian of only four years, she was willing to go to jail to honor God.”]

When Kim took the job as county clerk, like most of us, she never imagined a day when America, a country founded on Judeo/Christian values, would legalize a moral atrocity like same-sex marriage. Kim didn’t seek notoriety or attention and she’s not the first county clerk to object to granting marriage licenses to gays, but she is the first who was willing to put her Christian faith on the line. In her statement, she wrote that her refusal to issue marriage licenses to gays  “Is not a light issue for me. It’s a Heaven or Hell decision.”

[Tweet “her refusal to issue marriage licenses to gays “Is not a light issue for me. It’s a Heaven or Hell decision.””]

She added: “I want to continue to perform my duties, but I also am requesting what our Founders envisioned — that conscience and religious freedom would be protected. That is all I am asking. I never sought to be in this position, and I would much rather not have been placed in this position.”

She also used her statement as an opportunity to give her testimony of becoming a Christian. Like the apostle Paul, and all of us, she had a past, but she’s forgiven and saved and telling others:
“In addition to my desire to serve the people of Rowan County, I owe my life to Jesus Christ who loves me and gave His life for me. Following the death of my godly mother-in-law over four years ago, I went to church to fulfill her dying wish. There I heard a message of grace and forgiveness and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. I am not perfect. No one is. But I am forgiven and I love my Lord and must be obedient to Him and to the Word of God. I never imagined a day like this would come, where I would be asked to violate a central teaching of Scripture and of Jesus Himself regarding marriage.”

Three times in the book of Jeremiah, in response to the moral sins of the people, God also said, “I have never commanded such a horrible deed; it never even crossed my mind to command such a thing!” (Jer. 7:31, 19:5, 32:35 NLT). It never crossed most of our minds that our country would ever consider doing something so abominable and against the nature of how God created marriage and men and women.

Side Note

When people ask me: “Where in the Bible does Jesus condemn homosexuality?” I counter with “Where does He condone it?” The people of Jesus’ time knew the Old Testament and they were fully aware of what constituted moral sins and what goes against God’s ways. Something our culture has forgotten. Jesus didn’t explicitly say don’t have sex with your animal either, so does that mean it’s OK and marriage to your animal whom you “love” should be legalized? And if it was, would you expect Kim to grant those licenses too?

[Tweet “The LGBT advocates and supporters have no moral argument and they know it”]

The LGBT advocates and supporters have no moral argument and they know it. Dark chooses to stay in the dark. “The look on their faces testifies against them, and like Sodom, they flaunt their sin. They do not conceal it. Woe to them, for they have brought evil on themselves” (Isaiah 3:9).

Praise God, if you’re a believer, “He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. 13 For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son” (Col. 1:12:13).

[Tweet “What saddens me is the number of Christians and churches buying into the lie”]

What saddens me is the number of Christians and churches buying into the lie. Any Christian who supports gay marriage and doesn’t think it’s a sin, doesn’t know his or her Bible, cover to cover. I don’t care if they’re pastors, popes, priests, presidents, legislators, judges … they’re human, fallible, and wrong! “Your leaders mislead you, they confuse the direction of your paths” (Isaiah 3:12).

[Tweet ““Your leaders mislead you, they confuse the direction of your paths” (Isaiah 3:12)”]

They have stepped out of the light into the darkness. If you’re one of those people, I implore you to open up your Bible, start in Genesis and read all the way to Revelations. Don’t pick a verse here or there, read the whole Book of God and you will clearly know what God calls sin–immorality, idolatry, murder, lies, sexual perversion and lust, adultery and more …. It’s all in there along with what He thinks of those who support, encourage, and purposely engage in sin. You don’t want to be one of those people. Kim Davis, who has only been a Christian for four years, reminded us: “It’s a Heaven or Hell decision.”

[Tweet “There’s no right way to do the wrong or immoral thing!”]

I’ve had Christians ask me what I think Kim Davis should have done, and I answer, “Just what she did.” There’s no right way to do the wrong immoral thing no matter who tells you to do it or what immoral laws our government passes. If anything, they should grandfather her in and not expect her to abide by a “law” that changed long after she started working in the county clerk’s office. Granting gay marriage licenses isn’t the job she signed up for: compliance or quitting aren’t viable options. That sounds a lot like a dictatorship. Some have tried to use the verses about giving unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. Again, that tells me they don’t know their Bible. Those verses were talking about taxes. Don’t cheat on your taxes. But let’s look a little closer at the whole context of what Jesus said in Matthew 22:17-21 NLT:

17 Now tell us what you think about this: Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”

18 But Jesus knew their evil motives. “You hypocrites!” he said. “Why are you trying to trap me? 19 Here, show me the coin used for the tax.” When they handed him a Roman coin,[a] 20 he asked, “Whose picture and title are stamped on it?”

21 “Caesar’s,” they replied.

“Well, then,” he said, “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”

What’s on the back of your coins?

thatyoumightknowhim.com

thatyoumightknowhim.com

What Next?

Those who are honest and fair, who refuse to profit by fraud, who stay far away from bribes, who refuse to listen to those who plot murder, who shut their eyes to all enticement to do wrong— 16 these are the ones who will dwell on high. The rocks of the mountains will be their fortress. Food will be supplied to them, and they will have water in abundance. Is. 33:15-16

Those who are honest and fair,
who refuse to profit by fraud,
who stay far away from bribes,
who refuse to listen to those who plot murder,
who shut their eyes to all enticement to do wrong—
these are the ones who will dwell on high.
The rocks of the mountains will be their fortress.
Food will be supplied to them,
and they will have water in abundance. Isaiah 33:15-16

As I write this post, Kim Davis was released from jail and we all wait for what will happen when she returns to work. Last Sunday, Kim Davis was still in jail when our pastor Brian Smith spoke on the book of Colossians. He emotionally prefaced that the Lord had him pacing in his office as he prepared this sermon, especially in light of current events. He read an introduction to us prior to the sermon. Before I share that introduction with his permission, let’s look at a few passages Paul wrote to the Colossians while he too was in prison for his faith. Remember that the Colossian believers were also bucking the Roman government who wanted everyone to recognize Caesar as Lord.

 So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. 10 Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better. We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy… Col. 1:9-11

Christ Is Supreme

15 Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.
    He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,[a]
16 for through him God created everything
    in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see
    and the things we can’t see—
such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
    Everything was created through him and for him.
17 He existed before anything else,
    and he holds all creation together.
18 Christ is also the head of the church,
    which is his body.
He is the beginning,
    supreme over all who rise from the dead.[b]
    So he is first in everything. Col. 1:15-18

23 But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed as God’s servant to proclaim it. Col. 1:23

 Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers[a] of this world, rather than from Christ.” Col. 2:8

Marriage should be honoredPastor Brian Smith’s Opening to Sermon on Colossians:

There are voices in our world who tell us that we are to follow their authority. People who claim to know what is best for nations and individuals are hard at work to mold everyone into their image. This is not new: Rome had a plethora of gods and idols, and above all was the emperor. The people of his kingdom were to declare, “Caesar is Lord!”

China has a similar attitude, but there the government, communism, is to be recognized as the supreme ruler. To disagree is to be in jeopardy of the charge of “upsetting the social order.” Any activists can expect severe persecution or prison.

Our country is evidently following a similar secular, materialistic agenda: Federal laws are pre-eminent, government is the provider of goods for life, and to think differently brings the charge, “You are upsetting the social order!”

Christians are made to look like they missed the bus—“This is the 21st century. Get in step with the advancements of this society and culture. Life is changing and the experts are to be followed, you dummies!”

[Tweet “Christians are confident that God’s ways have not changed”]

However, we as Christians are confident that God’s ways have not changed. He is the ultimate expert; He is Creator and Sustainer of the universe and of our lives. To contradict Him is to invite disaster, personally and universally. We’re already seeing these effects.

Our spiritual education is important; learning God’s ways is a priority and following the One who holds eternity has greater consequences than trying to have peace and security apart from God. So we need to tune into God.

He is not oblivious to your needs and circumstances. He will meet you where you are, but each of us must turn to face Him, acknowledge Him, respond to what He reveals, and obey.

Janet’s Challenge to You

war-room-2Christians put an expressly Christian movie, War Room, in the #1 ranking in the box office over Labor Day weekend. Surely, we can put a Conservative, Bible-Believing-Following, Christian in the Oval Office! Let’s do it…are you with me?

Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who substitute darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who substitute bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter. Isaiah 5:20 HCSB

If you received this post by email, comment here.

September 14, 2015
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Caught Between Gay and God

9

The Bible

I’m back after taking a brief blogging sabbatical in June. We had a wonderful family reunion and then I headed off to Orlando for the Advanced Writer’s and Speaker’s Conference and the International Christian Retail Show. And that’s where I was when I heard the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize gay marriage. The room swirled around me and I felt nauseated. How could this have happened? Why were five judges allowed to try and overrule The Judge? How could they make a legal ruling on a moral issue? What was God feeling about all of this? What should Christians do? What should I do?

So many questions without answers, except for the ones about what should Christians and I do? We should stand firm on the Bible even though there are those who try to twist the Bible to support their opposing views. God showed me that the gay community calls heterosexuals “straight” and here’s the definition of straight from Roget’s Super Thesaurus:

  1. Unbent, undeviating, linear, direct, square, aligned.
  2. Honest straightforward, frank, candid, upfront, forthright, trustworthy, reliable, sincere.
  3. Undiluted, pure, whole, unmodified, unmixed.

So stay straight and undeviating in your faith, aligned with God’s “undiluted” Word.

If heterosexuals are straight what are homosexuals? Often they are meandering, mixed up, confused, off track, and  lost their moral compass. They may turn to the gay lifestyle because of something in their past. No one is born homosexual, but circumstances in their life might lead them to seek refuge in the gay community and they need our help, love, and guidance in straightening up their life from the twists and turns it’s taken. What they don’t need is for us to twist, bend, and expand Scripture to make it support the culture’s view of homosexuality.

You Probably Know a Person Sinning Sexually

[Tweet “You Probably Know a Person Sinning Sexually”]

Most people today know someone who is living in sexual sin. Maybe it’s a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, a niece or nephew, a sister or brother. Maybe it’s one of your own children. Sadly, our culture now normalizes many of these sexual sins—hooking up, sex outside of marriage, living together, getting pregnant before marriage .. or maybe no intention of marrying, transgenderism…. While adultery still seems acknowledged as a sin and unacceptable, the gay agenda is becoming accepted and now the courts have had the audacity to legally change the definition of marriage to include a relationship outside of God’s design. But no law can change the laws of God. There’s no right way to do the wrong thing!

Today’s culture not only tolerates sexual sin, it accepts and celebrates it. So what are you to do about that person you know who is choosing a sinful, immoral sexual lifestyle, when the majority of society has decided it’s no big deal? You love that person and you want to continue the relationship, even though as a Christian you feel convicted that something isn’t right about this. You want to support them, and try to convince yourself that because it’s your child or loved one who has chosen sin, it’s really not all that bad.

Many of you are torn between love for your friend or relative and love for God’s Word? If that’s you, ask yourself some hard questions: How could I confront them about the sin and help them find their way to God’s forgiveness? How could I let them wallow in the dark, knowing that for those who have accepted the world’s ways over Jesus’ ways, they’re going to end up in eternal fire instead of eternity with Jesus? How could I ever forgive myself for not praying for them to change their ways? How could I go before Holy God with a clean heart knowing that I might have enabled my friend or loved one’s sin rather than loving him or her to the cross?

A friend recently posted this on Facebook “I am finding so many Christians waffling in their beliefs because they have become more concerned with the approval and appeasement of someone they know and love rather than being more concerned with that person’s eternity.”

This is exactly what I’m seeing too and it’s breaking my heart. I wonder if Christians who have changed their profile picture to a gay flag, realize that they’re waving a flag that says a professed Christian now has decided to oppose God’s ways in favor of the world’s ways? How will they explain that to God when they meet someday? How will they tell Him that the applause of men meant more to them than the applause from heaven?

[Tweet “How will you tell God that the applause of men meant more to you than the applause from heaven?”]

How could anyone interpret “Love your neighbor as yourself” to mean loving your neighbor’s sin? Does anyone love himself or herself more when sinning? Is anyone happier when he or she sins? Do you celebrate your sin and even try to get it legalized?

[Tweet “Do you celebrate your sin and even try to get it legalized?”]

What About the Person Who Claims to be a Christian but Also Persists in Sexual Sin or Approves of Same-Sex Marriage?

Last week, I attended the International Christian Retail Show and picked up John Bevere’s Good or God? It caught my attention since my new book coming out in March is How Good is God? I Can’t Remember…. Here’s an excerpt from Bevere’s book:

“Have you encountered someone who professes to know Jesus Christ, and has done so for some time, but lives as if he or she has never met Him? Why is this? This person is simply not experiencing the process of transformation. They are not being changed into His likeness.

“Paul prophesied that our days will be difficult. Interestingly, he wrote that these stressful times will not result from persecution for our faith, as in his day, but from professing Christians who don’t keep the words of Jesus.

“Paul clearly stated, “They will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power (2 Timothy 3:5 TEV). These professing believers are deceived, for they will be “always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7 TEV)…. Many such “believers” attend churches, conferences, worship nights, Bible schools, and connect groups. They love learning but remain unchanged in character and behavior.

“Here’s the bottom line: only those who walk in holiness can see God—can enter His presence. Jesus couldn’t have made it any clearer when He said, “A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me … I will love him and manifest Myself to him” (John 14:19, 21).

Jesus stated that only those who keep His commandments are the ones He will make Himself apparent to. They will be the ones who see Him, who enter His presence and thereby come to know Him intimately. This privilege is not promised to all believers, only to those who pursue obeying His Word—those who pursue holiness.”

A good word from John Bevere to those who profess to be Christians but are living in sin instead of holiness or are enabling and cheering on someone living in sin. If I just described a Christian you know, here is what believers are called on to do…

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. (Galatians 6:1-2)

Our Story

Lest you think I don’t know what it’s like to have a loved one choosing to sin, or haven’t been there myself, I wrote a book sharing the journey of praying for my daughter who was living with her boyfriend … something I had modeled to her when I was in my backsliding years running from God. Now, you may say that it’s no big deal anymore with so many people choosing to live together…but I beg to differ with you. Sin is ALWAYS a big deal no matter how many people are doing it. Majority never trumps morality.

[Tweet “Majority never trumps morality.”]

majority

I had rededicated my life to the Lord and thought Kim would follow in my footsteps, but she didn’t. I had a hard choice. I loved my only daughter with an unconditional love, but I could not love what she was doing. I never condemned her, but I never condoned her chosen lifestyle. I did nothing to enable, celebrate, or support her choice.

Instead, I loved her like crazy with an unending mother’s love, kept communication open, and prayed every single day for her out of God’s Word. I prayed Scripture over her and for her. That didn’t make her happy, and she wanted nothing to do with my faith. But that didn’t daunt me. Knowing that she was not a believer and was going to hell, kept me on my knees every day for six years. Today we share our story together in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter and in person, and she always thanks God and me that I never gave up or gave in to the sins she was committing.

[Tweet “Do you love your friend or relative enough to stand in opposition to their sin and stand in the gap for their salvation? “]

Do you love your friend or relative enough to stand in opposition to their sin and stand in the gap for their salvation? You will be accountable for how you answer that question. I pray you choose eternal life for them, it’s the most loving thing you could do. Ignoring their sin, condoning their sin, and celebrating their sin, loves them straight into hell, which is real. We’re all going to die and go to either heaven or hell. What kept me on my knees for my daughter was a recurring dream of her calling out to me from the fiery pit asking me why I didn’t tell her where she was going? I knew that I would continue to expectantly and persistently pray for her until my final breath. Praise God, I got to witness her transformation into the godly woman she is today.

4 For God did not spare even the angels who sinned. He threw them into hell, in gloomy pits of darkness, where they are being held until the day of judgment. 5 And God did not spare the ancient world—except for Noah and the seven others in his family. Noah warned the world of God’s righteous judgment. So God protected Noah when he destroyed the world of ungodly people with a vast flood. 6 Later, God condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and turned them into heaps of ashes. He made them an example of what will happen to ungodly people. 7 But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. 8 Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day. 9 So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment. 10 He is especially hard on those who follow their own twisted sexual desire, and who despise authority.—1 Peter 2:4-10 NLT

Here is an example of how I prayed Scripture:

I pray that my daughter Kim will know the truth and that the truth will set her free. (1 John 8:32 )

Lord my daughter Kim has lost her footing and been swept off her feet by lawless and loose-talking unsavory people. Please grow her in grace and understanding of You, our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 3:28 MSG)

I pray that in all ways Kim will submit to you and you will make her ways straight. (Psalm 3:6)

There are 40 Days of Praying Scripture in the Appendix of Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter which would apply to anyone you are praying for and there are also stories from praying mothers of lesbians and other sexual sins.

Stand Strong

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2015/june-web-only/here-we-stand-evangelical-declaration-on-marriage.html?utm_source=ctweekly-html&utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_term=11212054&utm_content=366195810&utm_campaign=2013&start=1

If like me, you’re speaking out against the immoral atrocities taking place in our culture and getting a push back from professing Christians, the Holy Spirit reminded me that this is what Moses and Jeremiah must have experienced. Or Paul when he saw the churches who professed to know Jesus and follow Jesus, turn to sinful and immoral ways. How he pleaded, begged, professed his love with them in 1 and 2 Corinthians, Ephesians, Romans, Galatians, Colossians and left those pleadings and counsel for us to read and apply today…and yet look at how far we’ve fallen away. Yes, grace can cover a multitude of sins … but grace and mercy comes after confession, repentance, asking for forgiveness from Jesus, and a sincere change of heart to go and sin no more!

[Tweet “grace and mercy comes after confession, repentance, asking for forgiveness from Jesus, and a sincere change of heart to go and sin no more!”]

This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. 1 John 1:5-10.

If you received this post by email comment here.

Here are additional posts you might want to read. I wrote the one on Balancing Grace and Truth last year.

Balancing Grace and Truth

These 35 Companies Just Told America Exactly What They Think About the SCOTUS Gay Marriage Ruling

40 Questions for Christians Now Waving Rainbow Flags

Here We Stand: An Evangelical Declaration on Marriage

A Surprise Prophetic Word about the Supreme Court Same-Sex Marriage Ruling

July 6, 2015
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When You’re Mom #2

24

As many of you know, Dave and I are a blended family. Our children were all in their teens when we married and I thought it would be smooth sailing, but we definitely had many challenges. With Christ at the center of our marriage, and agreeing that divorce would NEVER be an option, praise God we made it through and our sweet kids are all brothers and sisters in Christ and in family.

But during the difficult years, I longed for someone to mentor me from the perspective of “been there done that, made it through with Christ and you will too” and I’ll pray for you and help you. But I never found that mentor. I bought the few Christian books there were for step families and Dave and I joined a support group at church. I would have gone to a retreat in a heartbeat. I know Laura Petherbridge personally as a friend and fellow author and speaker, and if you’re a stepmom you will enjoy her book and this retreat. If you know stepmoms or have a support group at your church, please share this blog post.

Laura is giving away a copy of her book, 101 Tips for the Smart Stepmom so leave a comment to enter the drawing and check the box to receive follow up emails to this post so we can let you know if you won, or check back on Friday. We’ve given away a book a week all month. I love it.

Helping Hurting Women

By Laura Petherbridge

Sisterhood of stepmoms logo

“Please remove my name from your mailing list,” the woman’s email requested. “I am no longer a stepmom.”

My heart sank as I finished her note. Divorce. Again. She became one of the census statistics which reports that 60-73% of stepfamilies fail.

I cried out to God, “Lord, one more marriage gone. One more home fractured. One more child believing, ‘marriage doesn’t work’ because he/she has now witnessed two demolished families.”

“Lord, help me to reach stepmoms before it’s too late. Please, show me how to provide help, healing and hope. They need a spa for their weary soul, they need a—RETREAT!!”

Last year when I had the idea to conduct a stepmom retreat, I assumed it would be a one-time event. I asked a few stepmom sisters who offered a similar stepmom outreach to join me. And that one step, that one decision, has rocked my world.

We Can’t Stop Now

cover 101TipsSmartStepmom

Since I’ve written two books for Stepmoms I’ve gotten used to them emailing me for help, but now at the retreat they were in my arms. Their tears, pending divorces, and the voices of their hurting children, were looking me in the eyes. And their begging pleas, “I’m afraid I might not make it. I feel like a failure. Show me how to survive life in a stepfamily,” could not be silenced in my head.

“What are we going to do now?” was the question each teammate asked as we ate lunch together after the retreat.

“We can’t stop now,” one team member shared. “We must do more of these events, more stepmoms need our help.”

And so with no money, no sponsor, no guidebook to follow, and no website established, we launched a ministry, Sisterhood of Stepmoms.

Within two weeks of establishing a Facebook page we had 700 likes, and now one year later, it’s over 2400. Stepmoms from everywhere began sharing how grateful they were to receive help and a place to find healing.

The Church Typically Doesn’t Understand

[Tweet “The church rarely has a ministry that meets the needs of stepmoms.”]

The church rarely has a ministry that meets the needs of stepmoms.

“I went to a mom’s conference, and a women’s retreat geared for families, but none of the issues they addressed applied to my situation,” stepmom Lisa shared.

“I need to know how to parent alongside my stepson’s mother. She lives very differently than we do, with completely diffident view of what is right and wrong. Plus I can’t figure out how to handle my husband’s inability to discipline his kids. Even though his ex-wife is the one who left the marriage for another man, he is plagued by guilt because his kids are from a divorced home.”

[Tweet ” A ministry specifically designed for stepfamilies, which can address their unique issues is a huge need. “]

This is why a ministry specifically designed for stepfamilies, which can address their unique issues is a huge need. Many statistics show that there are more stepfamilies in the USA today than there are first time families. They avoid the church because there isn’t a place for them.

God Has Other Plans

Before this stepmom mentoring occurred, I kept asking God for a “nice, clean” women’s ministry. You know something with pink ribbons and flowing butterflies. I was seeking a ministry that the annual church women’s luncheon would eagerly embrace for their keynote.

Wrong.

God had other plans, and I’m so glad. Whether it’s; the childhood shame and trauma associated with my parent’s divorce, the devastation when my husband walked out of our marriage, or the stress of being a stepmom, the wounds of my past provide me with the insight to mentor, encourage, or instruct others. When given to Jesus, my scars serve a higher calling. The destruction is transformed into a restoration for another.

I’m thrilled to be on this journey. Here’s another email that explains why. It reads differently than the previous.

“Dear Laura, Thank you for your ministry to stepmoms. I want you to know it saved my marriage. I was on the verge of divorce; I couldn’t take stepfamily living anymore. And you taught me that with God’s help I can learn how to live above the circumstances. You offered practical, no-nonsense, real life information which changed my attitude and perspective. You gave me tools and hope. My husband immediately noticed, and now I think we will make it.”

It doesn’t get any better than that.

[Tweet “The next retreat, geared for ANY women who is a single parent or dating, engaged or married to a man with kids (young or old), is April 17-19th,”]

The next retreat, geared for ANY women who is a single parent or dating, engaged or married to a man with kids (young or old), is April 17-19th, at the gorgeous Sandy Cove Retreat Center.

What Can YOU Do?

Won’t YOU be the one to reach out to a stepmom, and show her where to find help, healing and hope?

Leave a comment to enter drawing for a free book. Be sure to check the box to receive follow up comments to this post or check back on Friday to see if you won!

Copyright © 2014 Laura Petherbridge. All rights reserved

 

petherbridge headshot closeup 2008

Laura Petherbridge is an international author and speaker who serves couples and single adults with topics on relationships, step-parenting, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is the author of 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom—Expert Advice from One Stepmom to Another and When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, and a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series. Her book The Smart Stepmom, is co-authored with stepfamily expert Ron Deal. Her website is www.TheSmartStepmom.com

 

March 23, 2015
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