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Liz Curtis Higgs Reminds Us: God Is More Faithful Than the Pizza Man

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Liz Curtis Higgs reminds us that God is more faithful than the pizza man

Did you notice there wasn’t a Monday Morning Blog from me last week? It’s Ok if you didn’t miss it. I had a short turnaround from speaking in South Carolina and heading off to Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference in Scotts Valley, California, where I had the honor and privilege of being on the faculty. As I prepared for teaching and packing, something had to give. The blog post. I know you’ll forgive me and maybe even congratulate me for pacing myself.

The conference was amazing! The theme was BOLD: “Since we have such a hope, we are very bold” 2 Cor. 3:12. God’s presence boldly permeated every area of the conference grounds and every aspect of the activities.

[Tweet “The theme of Mount Hermon Writers Conferece was BOLD: “Since we have such a hope, we are very bold” 2 Cor. 3:12. “]

A special treat was having award-winning author and speaker Liz Curtis Higgs as our keynote speaker. Liz presents her godly bold messages with humor, passion, and love. I had heard her speak at Mount Hermon before and knew we’d be in for a treat. But I also knew something would be different about Liz this year. I even wondered if she would be able to still speak at the conference.

Liz Curtis Higgs was amazing at Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference

Liz was wearing a wig and needed her husband to help her on and off the stage. She sat on a stool while speaking instead of roaming around the stage. Precious Liz recently completed surgery, radiation, and chemo for endometrial cancer. Thinking all was well and on the road to recovery, her doctors assured her a routine cat scan would reveal the cancer eradicated.

But that was not the case. While Liz was on chemo, a cancerous tumor continued to grow. Apparently, she is resistant to a platinum component of the “chemo cocktail.” Liz is not cancer free. She also has neuropathy in her feet making it difficult to stand. Yet, in three worship services, Liz shared her trademark message of God’s hope and faithfulness through laughter and tears . . . ours and hers.

[Tweet “Liz Curtis Higgs refers to her cancer as, “An unexpected journey toward hope.””]

When you look at Liz’s face in pictures taken while she was speaking, you see joy, smiles, peace, and faith. She refers to her cancer as, “An unexpected journey toward hope.”

Liz Curtis Higgs sharing her story at Mount Hermon Writers Conference

[Tweet “God is more faithful than the pizza man!–Liz Curtis Higgs”]

Which brings me to the topic of this blog: God is more faithful than the pizza man! I’ll try to paraphrase Liz’s points, and now that you know a little bit about what she’s going through, I assure you it will have even more meaning.

“Lizzie’s” Faith Message

Liz recounted for us something we’ve all done repeatedly: called the pizza man to order a pizza delivered. Usually, we don’t know the person at the other end of the line taking our order, and we don’t know the delivery man or girl. Yet, with faith and trust, we hang up the phone, no doubts that a pizza will soon be delivered to our doorstep. We have faith in the pizza man.

When the doorbell rings we don’t question, “Oh, I wonder who that could be?” We’re sure that a hot pizza is awaiting us when we open the door. We even have payment and a tip ready for the delivery person, or in faith, we gave the pizza man our credit card number over the phone.

When we open the door, we’re not shocked or exclaiming, “What a miracle!!! The pizza I ordered arrived!”

True, we might get pepperoni instead of sausage, but we never question, worry, or fret over whether or not the pizza is coming. We wait expectantly, ready to receive it from a stranger.

Now, contrast when we offer a prayer request to God, who isn’t a stranger and we know Him intimately. He’s proven to us over and over again that He hears our prayers and will answer in His timing and according to His will.

[Tweet “Yet, we often question, worry, and fret whether our Lord and Savior will actually show up at our doorstep. “]

Yet, we often question, worry, and fret whether our Lord and Savior will actually show up at our doorstep. And when He does, we’re shocked. “What a miracle!” we proclaim, as if we didn’t really have faith that He would come through for us . . . again.

Do we take time to thank God, like we thank and tip the pizza delivery person?

We trust the pizza man more than we trust God.

I say “we” because I’m right there with you if you’ve ever doubted God would really answer your prayers. And even though He’s repeatedly proven to be faithful throughout my lifetime, I wonder if I’ve reached my quota of requests.

My Recent Faith Journey

2017 was not a good year for me. If you follow my blogs, you know I wasn’t able to travel and speak due to health issues, as I wrote about in the May 1, 2017 blog, I Didn’t See This Coming. I wondered if the Lord was closing the speaking door. Then in the fall, I received several speaking requests for 2018 and the invitation to teach at Mount Hermon.

My first speaking event of 2018 was in Simpsonville, SC in early March. I wondered if I would still feel comfortable on the stage speaking. Was it like riding a bike? Would it all come back to me? I prayed and agonized before the Lord until I heard Him say, I release you to go back out and share My message. I wouldn’t send you anywhere that I haven’t equipped you to go.

My husband was with me on that speaking trip and he marveled that it was as if I’d never been on a speaking sabbatical. When I took the microphone, I knew I was back. I gave God all the glory for using me as His servant voice again.

God is so much more faithful than the pizza man!

As an attendee learning how to write at this conference for ten years, serving on Mount Hermon’s faculty was a distant dream. Then big surprise, last fall I received the invitation to lead a main track Mentoring Clinic on Writing Your Personal Story and Memoir and a workshop on Writing Engaging Bible Studies.

After I said, “Absolutely,” doubt plagued me. Would I be worthy? Did I know enough to help aspiring writers like I had been helped? Who was I to accept this tremendous responsibility? Again, I heard God’s reassuring whisper, I wouldn’t send you anywhere that I haven’t equipped you to go.

The experience was beyond anything I could imagine. I knew from the first morning of the mentoring clinic, this was exactly where I was supposed to be, at that time, and in that place.

This picture of my “mentees” on the last day of our memoir writing mentoring clinic shows that my Lord was faithful to them and to me.

 

God is truly more faithful than the pizza man.

I’m on a very expensive medication, the sixth one after others have failed or given me horrendous side effects, and we’ve reached the end of options. Insurance only gave me a good rate for four months, then what? My doctor said, “Don’t worry, let me worry about it.” His office staff said, “Don’t worry, we’ll come up with something.” My husband said, “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.” But I worried.

After much pleading with the insurance company, I learned of a program for this medication that if I qualified, it would be FREE! My doctor and I filled out the application and faxed it to the company. This time, I trusted God to figure out a way, even if I wasn’t accepted into the program. I heard God clearly say, Don’t worry. I have many more plans for you and I’m on it.

I trusted that God was more faithful than the pizza man.

I gave it over to Him, even when the 24-48 hours they said I would know the answer turned into 10 days. Then I got the call. I was prepared for the answer, either way it went, because I knew God would figure something out for me.

I was approved. I cried. I praised God and gave Him all the glory to the point that the woman on the other end of the phone was starting to cry too and said, “Yes,” every time I praised God.

Your Turn to Trust God More Than the Pizza Man

So now it’s your turn. Even in the face of cancer that didn’t respond to treatment, Liz Curtis Higgs can say . . .

As I’ve walked out my cancer journey this year, strengthened by your prayers, I’ve learned that everything the Bible says about God is the absolute truth. He is exceedingly faithful and endlessly merciful, “keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments” (Deuteronomy 7:9). Liz Curtis Higgs

What do you need to trust God with?

Where do you need to believe like “Lizzie” and me that God truly is more faithful than the pizza man?

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1 John 5:14

If you receive this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

Thank you to Karen Barnett and Jenn Fries for pictures of Liz Curtis Higgs.

Liz Curtis Higgs teaches God is more faithful than the pizza man.

Liz Curtis Higgs and Mount Hermon friend and author, Jenn Fries

April 2, 2018
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Billy Graham, My Mentor

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Billy Graham, My Mentor and a story of how he lived his life.

“Someday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is dead don’t believe a word of it, I shall be more alive than I am now. I will just have changed my address.” Billy Graham

When you saw the title of today’s blog, you probably thought Billy Graham had personally mentored me face-to-face. What an amazing blessing that would have been!

Actually, we didn’t meet in person, but I had the joy of being at two of his crusades. First time, as a teenager when our church took a bus of kids from Ventura to a stadium in LA. I had never heard anyone preach like that before! Even though I was a believer, I was drawn down on the field to praise and worship God with all the new believers.

The next time was with my husband, Dave, who had never heard Billy Graham in person. I wanted Dave to have the experience so we flew to Oakland when Rev. Graham had announced it would be his last crusade. But it wasn’t his last. God kept using him, and as he said so many times, he would keep preaching until God told him to stop.

[Tweet “Whenever asked on a survey or questionnaire, “Who is the earthly person you admire the most?” My answer, “Billy Graham.””]

Whenever asked on a survey or questionnaire, “Who was the earthly person you admired the most?” My answer, “Billy Graham.” So how did the Reverend Billy Graham mentor me?

Billy Graham my Mentor with his Beloved Bible

[Tweet “Mentoring doesn’t have to be face-to-face. Observe someone’s life and let his or her words and actions mentor you from afar.”]

Mentoring doesn’t have to be face-to-face. You can observe someone’s life and let his or her words and actions mentor you from afar. A verse I use to explain mentoring to mentors and mentees is Hebrews 13:7, Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Over the years, Billy Graham mentored me as . . .

  1. I remembered the impact the gospel had in my life when hearing Billy Graham share it so powerfully in person, and following his crusades and preaching over the years.
  2. I considered his way of life, putting Jesus first above all else, studying his Bible, and living with integrity and humility. I read his autobiography, Just As I Am. I also read several biographies of his precious wife Ruth, which gave tremendous insight into her husband as a man of God and life without him when he was on the road while she raised their family almost as a single parent.

I didn’t always live with integrity or humility, but after I rededicated my life to the Lord in my early forties, everything changed for me. I had a hunger and thirst to study my Bible. I understood that putting Jesus first might cause the loss of a career, which it did! But God opened a new door into ministry.

I would lose friends, and maybe some family members would even reject me, as I devoted time and energy to starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry, writing, and speaking a biblical world view.

I would need an understanding spouse, as Ruth was to Billy, who supported my ministry and the times I would need to cloister away in solitude to write, or be on the road sharing God’s messages, wherever He sent me. God provided that godly husband in my helpmate in ministry and life, my beloved hubby, Dave.

I would come under criticism.

I would need to live my message with integrity, as best I could, with the Lord’s guidance, admonishment, and discipline.

  1. I listened to Billy Graham’s message. A simple one he never wavered from because he spoke the Truth straight from the Bible, which never changes.

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7 You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ John 3:6-7

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6 (emphasis added)

[Tweet “One generation must teach and train biblical truths to the next generation”]

God has given me a message of the need for one generation to teach and train biblical truths to the next, One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts, Psalm 145:4. And since the day I heard “Feed my sheep” twenty-three years ago, I’ve devoted the second half of my life to helping women understand the simple message of “Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness.”

  1. I admired his passion for everyone to have an opportunity to accept Jesus Christ as his or her Lord and Savior, right then, right now!

As we listened to tributes and segments of his sermons on TV last week, my husband commented on how passionate Rev. Graham was when he spoke. I remember that well. His passion came from knowing that those who did not accept the free-gift of salvation from Jesus, would not be in heaven, but in hell, and he couldn’t stand that thought.

The best compliment I hear when I speak is, “I appreciate your passion and enthusiasm!” I know that comes from the Lord. He chose me to share a simple message of mentoring, and I’ve always said, “Enthusiasm is contagious.”

  1. I observed his boldness and not wasting time defending himself!

[Tweet “Billy boldly took his message of salvation through a relationship with Jesus Christ anywhere and everywhere the Lord led him.”]

Billy boldly took his message of salvation through a relationship with Jesus Christ anywhere and everywhere the Lord led him. He was not intimidated, nor did he spend time acknowledging his critics. I’ve used this story about him many times when I talk about resolving conflict:

The third month of the Greater London crusade unreeled at the same frenetic pace as the previous two. Billy had lost fourteen pounds, and both he and Ruth were exhausted. The press had reversed their original cynical opinion of him. Several reporters had gone forward at altar calls. In part, the media’s change in attitude was due to his refusal to respond to criticism and insults “I do not intend to get . . . into endless arguments and discussion with them,” he explained in a letter to Ruth the following year. “I am going to take the position of Nehemiah when he refused to go down and have a conference with his enemies. He [Nehemiah] said, ‘I’m too busy building the wall.’ We are too busy winning souls to Christ and helping build the church to go down and argue.”

God gave Billy favor with both political sides. He was named by Americans as “One of the Ten Most Admired Men in the World,” a record-breaking 59 times with the Gallup poll.

Sadly, a Christian today would never receive that honor!

His son Franklin Graham, an evangelist carrying on his father’s mantel, receives continuous and ruthless attacks by the liberal culture and media, as do Christians. But like his famous father, Franklin doesn’t spend time defending himself. Every time I hear him speak or interviewed, he transitions the conversation to sharing the gospel, just like his father did.

[Tweet “Every time I hear Franklin Graham speak or interviewed, he transitions the conversation to sharing the gospel.”]

I’ve been called bold and either applauded or attacked. I try not to let either one influence me. If we say Jesus is the most important person in our life, shouldn’t we let people know about Him? If we know that those who don’t accept Jesus into their heart in this lifetime will be lost for eternity, how can we be quiet?!

[Tweet “If we say Jesus is the most important person in our life, shouldn’t we let people know about Him? “]

[Tweet “If we know that those who don’t accept Jesus into their heart in this lifetime will be lost for eternity, how can we be quiet!?”]

I know not everyone appreciates my boldness or style, but in our failing times, like Billy and Franklin Graham, I feel a sense of urgency that overcomes any sense of fear in sharing the gospel. Am I ever intimidated? Yes, sometimes. Do I worry about offending some people? Yes, I do. Do I still have work to do in this area? Absolutely! But Satan can’t keep me quiet or intimidate me, as I continue to pray for even more boldness.

The Bible tells us to tell the truth in love, but never waiver from telling it.

[Tweet “The Bible tells us to tell the truth in love, but never waiver from telling it.”]

What if every pastor was bold enough to share Billy Graham’s biblical message of salvation with his passion and urgency?! How many lives would be saved from eternity separated from God?

[Tweet “What if every pastor was bold enough to share Billy Graham’s biblical message of salvation with his passion and urgency?!”]

What if every Christian, you and me, took up Billy Graham’s mantel, not leaving it to his son and family alone?

[Tweet “What if each of us imitated Billy and spread the Good News that Jesus saves with every breath and in every circumstance where God puts us?!”]

What if each of us imitated Billy and spread the Good News that Jesus saves . . . with every breath we take and in every circumstance where God puts us?!

How different would our world be today?

How different would our lives be?

How different would our government be?

How different would our schools be?

How different would our children and the next generation be?

I believe God took Billy Graham home because God wanted the simple message Billy preached to come alive again, not just for a day or maybe a couple of weeks, but for a revival!

[Tweet “I believe God took Billy Graham home because God wanted the simple message Billy preached to come alive again in a revival!”]

What do you think? Are you with me on this?

Let’s remember our leaders, like Reverend Billy Graham, who spoke the word of God to us. We’ll consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith! (Hebrews 13:7 personalized)

[Tweet “Let’s remember our leaders, like Reverend Billy Graham, who spoke the word of God to us. We’ll consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith! (Hebrews 13:7 personalized)”]

Who has mentored you from afar?

Billy Graham, My Mentor

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*Two pictures from BGEA

February 26, 2018
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“So That No One Will Malign the Word of God”

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So that no one will malign the word of God in our culture today, know your Bible

The title of this article is the end of Titus 2:5 (NIV). Other translations read:

so that the Christian faith can’t be spoken against by those who know them. (TLB)

In this way, the Word of God is honored. (NLV)

so that the word of God may not be discredited. (NABRE)

We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. (MSG)

that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited) (AMPC)

Here’s Titus 2:1-5 (NIV) in context, a passage often used in mentoring . . .

You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

[Tweet “The Bible remains the number one best seller in the world!”]

No other book in history have emperors, empires, authorities, and mankind tried to malign, dishonor, discredit, reproach, blasphemy and destroy more than the Bible, yet still it remains the number one best seller in the world! Those of us who believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, often come under similar attacks. The world sees us as ignorant, foolish, drinking the Kool-Aid, stupid, unenlightened, living in the dark ages, not current or relevant . . . even deplorable. I’m sure many of you have been called worse names. I know I have.

[Tweet “The culture needs to adapt to the Bible, not the reverse!”]

Today’s liberal culture believes the Bible needs to adapt to culture instead of the culture adapting to the Bible. Progressive ignorance and blasphemy.

Jesus didn’t come to conform to the culture; he came to reform the culture! Now we’re to go and do likewise, but sadly many are following the culture instead of following Jesus’ example.

[Tweet “Tucker Carlson interviews a liberal Episcopalian pastor who promotes a gender-neutral God. Blasphemy”]

My heart sank as I heard Tucker Carlson on FOX news interview a liberal Episcopalian pastor who was convinced that Jesus would be in favor of taking gender out of the Bible and no longer seeing God as the Father image, but a gender-neutral God. The pastor’s words seared my heart, “We’re not taking anything away from the Bible, we’re just adding to it.”

I screamed at the TV, Tucker, remind him of the last words in the Bible . . .

18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. 19 And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.

20 He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

Do you, like me, find it inapprehensible to live in a culture that openly, and without reproach or conscious, maligns the Word of God from politicians, officials, congressmen, media, progressives, and yes, even many churches? We’ve forsaken Paul’s warning to Titus to teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine to men and women, and likewise teach the next generations.

It’s so easy for Bible-believing Christians to scoff at the culture and bemoan liberalism, but should our churches and ourselves look in the mirror and assume some of the blame?

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. James 1:22-24

As we watch liberalism and progressivism try to eliminate genders and the roles God assigned them, normalize same-sex unnatural relations and promiscuous sex, promote slaughtering babies in the womb, and the next generation accepting these atrocities, are Christians doing anything tangible to make a difference?

[Tweet “It’s not always comfortable to stand up for what you believe, but you must!”]

It’s not always comfortable to stand up for what you believe, but when you know the Truth and take to heart that many who are deceived today will spend eternity in hell instead of heaven, how could it be comfortable to remain silent?

The Bible is the only source of Truth

How Can You Stop the Maligning of God’s Word?

  1. Know your Bible! Relate to it. Read it. Study it. Memorize it. Share it.
  2. Practice and role model the Bible’s teaching in your life and with your family.
  3. Engage with the next generation by teaching or mentoring them using God’s Word as your guide.
  4. Ask God to give you new insights into His Word and a hunger to learn more.
  5. Remember how God’s Word has changed your life and share your testimony whenever God gives you the opportunity. If you’re wondering how to do this, Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten offers life-application ways, ideas, and prompts.

Obey the Word of God. If you hear only and do not act, you are only fooling yourself.—James 1:22 NLV

I know I’m preaching to the choir, and I commend the ministries you’re involved in and the ways God has led you to grow His Kingdom here on earth. For those who feel challenged by today’s blog, pray that God will show where He needs you to make a difference. 

[Tweet “Pray God will show where He needs you to make a difference.”]

For me, it’s a personal attack when I hear anyone belittling or maligning my precious Lord and Savior and the Bible He’s given us to know how to live as believers during the time He gives us on earth. Our world today is not an easy place for Bible-believing Christians, but we must not let that stop us. Jesus told us we would be persecuted, just like He was (John 15:20), but all He asks us to do is defend His Word, the Bible, and prayerfully share His gospel message with grace and love. God will do the rest.

The Bible assures us: What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun (Ecc. 1:9), and Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Heb. 13:8).

Please share with us how God has led you to stop the maligning of His Word.

If you received this post by email, please leave a comment here.

____________

Note: In the book I’m writing now, Get Your Brave On: Women of the Bible Show Us We’re Braver Than We Think, you won’t be surprised that there is a chapter on Bold Faith. I would love to hear how God has lead you to stand up for your faith and the Bible. Please email me at [email protected] for more details.

Remember the goodness of God so you don't forsake Him in your life.

Forsaken God?

February 12, 2018
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Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband By Cindi McMenamin

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My dear author friend of twenty years, Cindi McMenamin, has a new book out 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband.  If you’re married, engaged, know someone married, or mentoring a married woman, you’re going to want to pick up this valuable book full of experience, suggestions, and tips. We all want a happy communicative marriage, but if you’ve been married for very long, you know that takes work and lots of prayer.

Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband by Cindi McMenamin

Four Ways to Close the Communication Gap with Your Husband

By Cindi McMenamin

As I’ve mentored women over the past two decades, I’ve seen one issue continue to plague wives, regardless of how long they’ve been married – a communication gap in their marriage that leads to emotional distance.

Can you relate? Have you heard, or said yourself, the following statements?

I don’t know how to talk to my husband without him becoming defensive.

I’ve tried everything, he just won’t talk to me.

No matter what I say it comes out wrong. Is it me or is it him?

Whether you’ve heard other women say that or you’ve said it yourself, that gap – which can leave a husband and wife feeling isolated from one another – is more serious than you may realize.

[Tweet “A lack of communication is now the No. 1 cause for divorce in America.”]

A lack of communication is now the No. 1 cause for divorce in America. Just a decade ago it was adultery, but today failing to communicate, communicating poorly, or just letting the emotional gap widen between a husband and wife can be most fatal to marriages.

[Tweet “Eliminating the communication gap is essential to experiencing more in your marriage.”]

Eliminating the communication gap is essential to experiencing more in your marriage. That is the primary reason I wrote my newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband. You and I can be experiencing more trust, more passion, and yes, more communication with our husbands when we understand what motivates them, as well as what wounds them.

For years, my husband (Hugh) and I struggled with this communication gap because of our many differences. He is an introvert. I am an extrovert. He came from a family that stuffed and stifled their feelings. I came from a family that verbally over-communicated their feelings. To this day, Hugh will readily admit he is not the communicator in our marriage. I am. But just because I’m a writer, speaker, and therefore a communicator by profession, does not necessarily mean I communicate well with him. In fact, because I know how to communicate in general I figured I had it made when I got married. I was so wrong.

Through the years (three decades of marriage, in fact), my husband and I have both had to figure out how to communicate well with each other.

We did that by developing an awareness of what was causing us to close off from one another. And get this. We weren’t even aware that we were reacting to one another out of unresolved issues in our lives.

Reacting Out of Our Pain

[Tweet “It’s human nature for couples to react to one another out of their pain.”]

A counselor friend of mine shared with me that it’s human nature for couples to react to one another out of their pain. Certain words or situations will trigger pain in us and we end up reacting defensively. It’s natural, then, to filter our life’s experiences through that grid of pain and sometimes end up seeing our spouse – rather than an unhealed issue in our lives – as the problem.

[Tweet “Identify and let God heal issues to close the communication gap with your spouse.”]

Here are some ways to identify and let God heal the issues so you can better communicate and close the gap with your husband:

  1. Realize the deeper core wound that is driving the problem or argument. When you and I first understand our own pain and insecurities and then develop a greater understanding of what causes our husbands’ pain, we can work to better communicate and reconnect. Instead of thinking my spouse is just an angry man, say “I had no idea that my husband struggled so much with feeling he was not succeeding in the relationship.” What we focus on grows. If we focus on what our husbands are doing wrong, that will grow. If we focus on the fact that he’s a good guy that will heighten our awareness to see that.

[Tweet “What we focus on grows. If we focus on what our husbands are doing wrong, that will grow. “]

  1. Resist the urge to be defensive, accusative, or angry at your husband’s words, actions, or responses. People who hurt, hurt people. When your husband lashes out or says something unkind, it’s possible he is feeling lashed out against. Be open and curious. Tell yourself, “My husband is a good man, he is loving and is maybe acting like a jerk right now, but what is going on inside of him?” Practice Ephesians 4:29 and make sure, even in the heat of the moment, that you don’t let “any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).

[Tweet “People who hurt, hurt people.”]

  1. Reject the lies that get you off course and create division between you and your spouse. Your husband’s wounds aren’t the only ones in the picture. We wives get triggered by a situation or by certain words and then we believe our lie: I am alone. I am devalued. I’m not appreciated. I’m not respected. We end up responding to our husbands because we believe a lie that doesn’t have anything to do with them.

[Tweet “Reject the lies that get you off course and create division between you and your spouse.”]

  1. Receive the truth of who you are in Christ. Once you receive the truth that you are not alone, you are valuable in Christ’s eyes, and you’re deeply loved by God, you can be more emotionally regulated and attuned to your husband. John 8:32 tells us “Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

Instead of getting anxious, withdrawing from, or lecturing your husband when you feel hurt, you can remember the One who has redeemed your life and say, “I realize when you said this I felt devalued and started to shut down, but now I realize I am valued in Christ and I can choose to be connected and get close to you.”

Each of us has to feel emotionally safe in order to start moving toward the other person to close the gap. Our only safety is in our relationship with Jesus. When we understand who we are in His eyes and we feel safe in Him, we can feel safe with others, too. And then, we can start actively closing that communication gap.

Which of these steps do you find is the most challenging?

Leave your comment below and you’ll be entered to win a signed copy of Cindi’s newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband: More Trust. More Passion. More Communication. (U.S. mailing residents only please). Winners will be notified via email on February 12.

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

4 Ways to Better communication with your husband by Cindi McMenamin

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of 16 books who helps women strengthen their relationship with God and others. She has been married 30 years to Hugh, a pastor and introvert, who shared his insights in her newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, upon which this blog is based. For more on her ministry and discounts on her resources to strengthen your soul, marriage, and parenting, see her website:www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

February 5, 2018
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Mentoring Includes Allowing Women to Suffer by Kathy Collard Miller

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Mentoring Includes Allowing Women to Suffer to let God refine them.

So often I hear from parents and mentors who step in to try and shelter their mentee or children from suffering pain. It’s a natural protecting instinct. But Kathy Collard Miller asks us to consider: Are we getting in the way of God?

Mentoring Includes Allowing Women to Suffer

by Kathy Collard Miller

Over many years, I have taught small group women’s Bible studies and mentored many women. I’ve gone through the gamut of thinking my words will protect a woman and blaming myself when a woman doesn’t respond the way I’m leading. I’ve learned a prominent principle: trust God for a good plan even if God allows her to suffer difficulties.

[Tweet “Trust God for a good plan even if God allows us to suffer difficulties.”]

God the Father loved his only Son well to the maximum, but still asked Jesus to leave heaven’s joys to demonstrate the Father’s love for sinful humanity. All for the sake of bringing glory to the Father. God also suffered himself watching his beloved Son suffer. He provided darkness to cover his Son’s unbearable pain on the cross.

The physical suffering Jesus endured wasn’t the most painful aspect of his crucifixion. No, the most painful and important aspect was the indescribable emotional agony Jesus suffered by being separated from his Father’s fellowship. God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit had always enjoyed perfect fellowship, unity, and joy in each other. When Jesus took on the sins of the world, though he had lived a sinless life he became sinful, which separated him from perfect fellowship in the holy Trinity. That separation was the ultimate suffering. God’s heart grieved, yet he had a purpose in Jesus’ crucifixion.

[Tweet “God’s heart grieved, yet he had a purpose in Jesus’ crucifixion.”]

God Knows His Purposes for Us Struggling

I can’t imagine any of us willing to send our mentee to a cross. But we don’t need to willingly send anyone into difficulty because we’re all challenged more than enough in this sinful world. Yet God’s purpose is often to purify through trials. Cooperation with God’s purposes means we resist rescuing others, and especially excusing their sinful choices.

[Tweet “We’re all challenged more than enough just being part of this sinful world, yet God’s purpose is often to purify us through those trials.”]

Think of James 1:2-5.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Recently, I meditated on those verses from a different angle. When I try to protect or rescue anyone I’m mentoring, in a sense I’m standing before God exclaiming, “You may not speak James 1:2-5 to her. You may not challenge her to count it all joy. It’s just too much for me to think of her suffering. You aren’t capable of using this situation for her good. You being glorified through her difficulties is not as valuable to me as her comfort and ease.”

Isn’t That Shocking?

Are you shocked to think of it that way?

Here’s something even more shocking. In a sense, we’re demanding, “You must remove those verses from the Bible. They aren’t true.”

Shocking, yes, but we deceive ourselves thinking shielding our mentees is for their best. God doesn’t agree. He loves each one of us perfectly, and yet he says, “You will suffer and count it all joy.” Why? Because then, as the passage says, the payoff is strength, steadfastness, wisdom, growth, and maturity.

Aren’t those qualities what you desire for the woman you are mentoring? Only God’s use of difficulty will produce those benefits.

[Tweet “Aren’t strength, steadfastness, wisdom, growth, and maturity qualities you desire for your mentees? Only God’s use of difficulty will produce those benefits.”]

I’m not saying we never help or assist, advise, or support. But we must be honest about our motives in order to know what’s best for them. Sometimes we don’t want them to suffer because it hurts us to see their pain. Or if they struggle, it might reflect upon our own mentoring abilities. Desiring God’s glory clears up those muddy motives.

Over these many years, this principle has not only allowed me to get out of the way of God’s purifying work in others’ lives, but it has given me peace by trusting that God works through difficulty.

How has such a principle been helpful for you in your mentoring of others? Please leave a comment and share your thoughts. If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

Enter a book drawing for Kathy’s new book, Pure-Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory. Enter by January 29 by leaving a comment here along with your email address. The winner will be drawn on January 30. (US addresses only can win.)

Kathy Collard Miller author of Pure Hearted discusses letting mentees suffer as God uses their trials to strengthen them.

Learn more about starting a mentoring ministry in your church at womantowomanmentoring.com/mentoring/

For how to mentor women in all seasons of life and be a mentee in all seasons of life my new book Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness will be helpful.

Kathy Collard Miller writes about letting God work through suffering in mentoring.

Kathy Collard Miller is an award-winning author of over 50 books that include Christian living topics, women’s Bible studies, and Bible commentaries. She is a speaker who has shared in 8 foreign countries and over 30 US states. Kathy and Larry have been married for 47 years and are the parents of 2 and grandparents of 2. They live in Southern California and often write and speak together. Visit her at www.KathyCollardMiller.com. She would love to hear from you.

This guest blog is adapted from Pure-Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory. Filled with biblical principles, practical instruction, and motivational stories, Pure Hearted is written for women. Every chapter includes a profile of a biblical woman along with discussion questions for groups or individuals.

Order Pure-Hearted at: http://amzn.to/2jzYdWi

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January 22, 2018
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Stop the Politicization of Prayer!

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Stop the politization of prayer, couples who pray together stay together.

I’m back from cataract surgery. Well partially back, so this will be short but wanted to let you know that I’m seeing so much better. Still working on close up vision, but it will come. Every day is an improvement. Thank you whoever prayed for these two surgeries. I felt those prayers! Speaking of prayers . . . .

The Attack on Prayer

The attack on prayer is what God told me to discuss today. Yes, God talks to me, and if you’re a believer He talks to you too, just like you talk to Him . . . in prayer. As I prayed about the topic for my first blog back, I woke up this morning with a definite word from the Lord: Write about the return to politicization of prayer. “Return” because it was politics that removed prayer from schools. Politics removed mentioning God and Jesus in schools. Politics has removed God from the public square and replaced the ways of God with the ways of Satan.

[Tweet “Politics has removed God from the public square and replaced the ways of God with the ways of Satan.”]

That’s right, it’s not God’s culture today, it’s Satan’s culture. Jesus talked a great deal about the ways of the “world” and reminded his disciples and followers that Christians—us— are not of this world, we’re only in the world. We aren’t to conform to the world, but change the world.

[Tweet “We aren’t to conform to the world, but change the world.”]

I [Jesus] am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by[a] the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. John 17:13-121

Mentoring Can Change the World: Starting with Our Children and Grandchildren

Right now, a federal appeals court has banned prayer at the opening of town council meetings. Because the commissioners said Christian prayers, which they have done for years, the angry atheists and the ACLU filed a lawsuit to ban the prayers, but the ACLJ is fighting back at the Supreme Court. Pray for the SCOTUS to uphold the right to pray before these meetings.

Our President and Vice President called for prayer after the horrific massacre in the small First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, TX. As prayer vigils were held in that tiny town, the media, entertainers (I use that term loosely), and liberal politicians began criticizing prayer.

Which brings me to the world’s view of prayer:

They don’t understand prayer . . . because they don’t understand God.

They don’t believe in prayer . . . so they don’t believe in God.

They don’t think prayer is “enough” . . . they think action is enough.

They don’t want God’s laws . . . they want culture’s laws.

They mock prayer as weak . . . while they remain arrogant, prideful, and ignorant.

They don’t recognize the power of prayer . . . only the power of man.

They are lost souls without prayer!

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[a] in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:16-18

Listen to Pastor Paul Buford, who pastors River Oaks Church two miles from Sutherland Springs First Baptist Church, when A MSNBC Anchor Asks Texas Pastor if Prayers Are ‘Enough’ After Church Shooting — His Answer Is On-Point

Thoughts and Prayers

Here’s my opinion on the phrase “thoughts and prayers.” Unbelievers say, “My thoughts are with you.” I even heard a member of a media talk panel clarify that he only supported “thoughts, not prayers!”

But Christians often say, “My thoughts and prayers are with you.”  What good are thoughts? Thoughts are how the situation makes us feel and may cause us to do something kind for the person suffering . . . but thoughts aren’t transmitted tangibly, mentally, or spiritually to the sufferer.

[Tweet “Thoughts aren’t transmitted tangibly, mentally, or spiritually to the sufferer.”]

“Thoughts” however can prompt us to pray for the person or situation. Every time we “think” about them, the Holy Spirit prompts us to pray. I think a better witness to the unbelieving world criticizing “thoughts and prayers” . . . and a more sincere comfort to those suffering . . . would be, “Every time the Holy Spirit brings you to mind, I pray for you!”

[Tweet “I see social media full of “praying” and prayer emoji’s comments, but we must not write that unless we’re actually praying”]

I see social media full of “praying” and prayer emoji’s comments, but we must not write that unless we’re actually praying. It’s often a sentimental response, but we’re lying if we don’t follow through and actually pray for that person or situation. They’re counting on those prayers.

Forsaken God?

If you haven’t read my book Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten, I encourage you to read it now! Here is a comment from an Amazon reader who said the book reminded her of the importance of every believer keeping God in the forefront of his or her life, and how we can impact our failing culture.

This is a very thoughtful and timely book. We watch even now, as our society pushes God out of the picture and yet Janet reminds us through scripture as well as personal stories of how much God wants to be in our lives and His goodness toward us. When we remove Him from our lives and our culture, we are the ones who pay the price as we forsake Him. I love the practical application steps at the end of the chapters. They are easy to do and follow and a reminder of the blessings that are available to us when we simply recognize and walk in the goodness of God.

Read Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten today!

I also want to encourage you to watch a new Fox News program, The Ingraham Angle, 10 ET weeknights. We DVR it. Some jealous media critics have labeled Laura Ingraham “The church lady” because she always wears a cross necklace, is bold about her faith on the program, and confronts assaults on religion. I’m impressed with her reporting style and conservative platform. Here is her coverage of “Are Thoughts and Prayers Now Political?”

My Surgery Prayer Witness

I guess I just can’t write a short blog. I’ve missed all of you, so I’ll close with a “prayer story” from my second eye surgery. When everyone left the room after the pre-surgery prep, like the first time, my husband took my hands, we closed our eyes, bowed our heads, and Dave prayed for my surgery. When we lifted our heads and opened our eyes, surgery nurse Martha was waiting with the wheelchair to wheel me into the surgery suite. The room was just as cold as before, and as they positioned me on the table, I began to tremble . . . like the last time. Maybe nerves, maybe the freezing temperature!

Nurse Martha calmly said, “You have nothing to worry about, you’re all prayed up!” I knew then she had seen us praying and waited quietly at the door until we finished.

She was right. I then told her how Jesus had reminded me that morning that He would be watching over the surgery. Then I added, “Of course Jesus is always with me. And so many people are praying for me, they’re praying for the doctor, and for all of you too.”

[Tweet “Don’t let prayer become political. Don’t let prayer become controversial. “]

Don’t let prayer become political. Don’t let prayer become controversial. Never be ashamed of a conversation with your precious Lord and Savior. Stand firm in the power of prayer.

Pray continually! 1 Thessalonians 5:17

See also my blog The Miracle of Steve Scalise: A Testimony to the Power of Prayer

Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, is available at all Christian bookstores, online book stores, Amazon, Kindle, and signed by Janet at her website store

Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten is available at all Christian bookstores, online book stores, Amazon, Kindle and signed by Janet at her website store.

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November 13, 2017
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Touching Another Generation (TAG) by Tammy Keene

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If you receive my blog by email on Monday mornings, you may have noticed it didn’t come the past three weeks. I did have cataract surgery, but also had some amazing guests each Monday and just discovered there was a glitch in WordPress. Thanks to my amazing web designer Holly Smith at Crown Laid Down Designs, who diagnosed the problem, we’re coming to you this morning with guest Tammy Keene. Here are the blogs you missed:

Hope For All Seasons by Renee Fisher

The Lasting Fruit of Mentoring by Pam Farrel

Could Mentoring Have Protected Young Actresses by me, Janet Thompson

I met Mentoring Ministry leader Tammy Keene when she ordered Woman to Woman Mentoring Resources from our website for the mentoring ministry at her church. We developed a friendship as we began to chat through email. I asked Tammy to share with you today how God led her to start the TAG mentoring ministry at her church, First Baptist Church Riverview in Florida, and why she’s so passionate about mentoring.

Touching Another Generation

By Tammy Keene

“When you’re not the same person you used to be, you have no business going where you used to go.” Priscilla Shirer

I love Facebook memories! I love looking at pictures of when my kids where younger and fun memories with friends, but I especially love seeing memories about Bible studies I’ve completed. It’s great to look back at memories and reflect on the lessons I’ve learned, but also the distance I’ve traveled since then.

I resonate with Priscilla’s statement: You’re not the same person….you have no business going where you used to go. This is truth. This is a process that’s easier when you have a trusted Christian woman walking along side you as you travel this journey called life.

Tammy’s Mentoring Story

When I share my mentoring story, I always begin at 2013, but I realize that my mentoring story really began much earlier.

Mentoring relationships at different seasons of my life have blessed and encouraged me. I lived in a Christian home with a godly Mom, who led me to Christ at an early age. As a teenager, a woman of faith at our church came alongside me. She was intentional in our interactions and I always knew I could count on her. As a young adult (and again as a young mom), an Air Force wife spoke into my life! Since moving to Florida in 2004, several women have encouraged me and walked alongside me.

What is the common thread among all of these relationships? Simply, godly women have walked beside me experiencing life together. I’m the woman I am today because of their influence.

I stepped out in faith to launch a mentoring ministry because these women spoke into my life and believed in me!

In a recent sermon, our pastor spoke of the importance of confessing to a trusted friend.

How do you find that trusted someone?

Ask someone to be your mentor. If you’re not sure what that looks like, get Janet Thompson’s new book Mentoring for all Seasons.

This book is a great resource for women. Not only is it the “how to” for finding a mentor or mentee, it’s also a great guide for the different seasons of life. There are testimonies from mentors and mentees who have experienced seasons of life and share how God sustained them through each one.

Saying NO to say YES to God

During Priscilla Shirer’s Bible study, “Discerning the Voice of God,” I learned how to listen for God’s voice. During the “Breathe” Bible study, I found the importance of the word “No.” Priscilla Shirer’s dedication to Kay Arthur and Beth Moore in her “Breathe” Bible study still speaks to me about the importance of No:

For teaching me to say “No.” For inspiring me to put first things first. For showing me by your example the importance of margin and Sabbath. For reminding me that doing everything is not the same as doing the best things.  Thank you. You have taught me that life is better when it has room to breathe.

[Tweet “No is a simple word when used appropriately!”]

No is a simple word when used appropriately. For such a small word, I really struggled with it. During our church’s new member orientation, I learned that one of my spiritual gifts was “helps.” I thought this meant I should help with every ministry opportunity. This could not be further from the truth.

As I was obedient to say “No” to new opportunities and began stepping away from other ministries, I felt a great peace. The ministries I was involved in weren’t bad, but they were taking me away from home and pulling my attention away from the lesson God was trying to teach me.

God taught me how to hear His Voice – in a song, a post on Facebook, a sermon at church, and most importantly, His voice heard in time spent in God’s Word.

He taught me that sometimes the right answer really is “No.” As I passed on the leadership for the three Bible studies I was leading, God called two leaders for each one. Two is better than one!

Janet Thompson heard the call to “Feed My Sheep,” which prompted her first mentoring opportunity. During a sermon, I could hear the Holy Spirit speak to me about the importance of a mentoring ministry for our church. Even as I heard the message, I began arguing that God could not possibly want me to start a mentoring ministry.

God confirmed this new ministry in many ways. Within a very short time, God orchestrated mentoring training, the support of the church leadership, and a ministry team ready to begin work launching the new ministry. When I was faithful to let others have the blessing of leading ministries I loved, I was able to prepare for this new ministry. 

If I had not been obedient to God’s desire for me to step away, I would not have launched the mentoring ministry, “Touching Another Generation” (TAG). 

Touching Another Generation (TAG) should be the theme of every mentoring ministry

[Tweet “Waiting is hard, but being out of the will of God is even harder.”]

God taught me that His timing is best. Waiting is hard, but being out of the will of God is even harder. He taught me that walking with a Sister-in-Christ is something we all need, even me.

As we were preparing for the launch of TAG 2016, I was also preparing to return to school to complete my bachelor’s degree. Another benefit of saying No was having the time to devote to school. I still cannot explain how there are enough hours in the week for all God allows me to accomplish, so I won’t try. I’ll just give God the glory.

Tammy’s Passion for Mentoring

Why am I so passionate about mentoring? I’ve been richly blessed by amazing women God has placed in my life!

Mentoring brings the generations together.

Tammy (upper left corner) and her mentor Kathy

[Tweet “A mentor can help you discern the importance of a simple No. “]

A mentor can help you discern the importance of a simple No.

Mentors don’t have to be Bible scholars, just possess a willingness to invest time in the life of another woman. It may become a source of your greatest blessings.

[Tweet “Mentors don’t have to be Bible scholars, just possess a willingness to invest time in the life of another woman.”]

Looking back, I see that God taught me some very important lessons He meant for me to share with others.

A mentor can also help you evaluate the events from your past to help you see the lessons God is teaching you now.

[Tweet “A mentor can also help you evaluate the events from your past to help you see the lessons God is teaching you now. “]

God created women with a desire to share life with one another. Life isn’t a solitary expedition.

In some area of your life, you’re a role model – a person of influence—and another woman needs to hear your story.

[Tweet “In some area of your life, you’re a role model – a person of influence—and another woman needs to hear your story.”]

Finally, I leave you with Touching Another Generation’s (TAG’s) key verse: Psalm 145:4 “One generation shall praise your works to another and shall declare your mighty acts.”

Mentoring for All Seasons is a book that helps women live out mentoring in all seasons and generations.

Tammy has Mentoring for All Seasons and the Woman to Woman Mentoring DVD packet on display as her church prepares for their TAG gathering. Mentoring for All Seasons and The Woman to Woman Mentoring resources are available at our website shop, always signed by me.
Mentoring for All Seasons is available at Amazon, all online and Christian bookstores, and also in Kindle format.

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November 6, 2017
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HOPE FOR ALL SEASONS

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Today’s guest post is from Renee Fisher. Renee and I met when she submitted a story for Mentoring for All Seasons, which you’ll find on page 265. You’ll enjoy Renee’s reflection on . . .

Hope for All Seasons

By Renee Fisher

Seasons change. I never realized the spiritual significance of the changing of seasons until I learned how to cultivate a life of my dreams.

Jesus is quoted twice in the Gospels talking about spiritual seasons in Matthew 16:2-3 (NIV) and Luke 12:54-56 (NIV):

He replied, “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’ and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times”

He said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain,’ and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It’s going to be hot,’ and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret this present time?”

It doesn’t take much effort to walk outside and determine if it’s going to rain that day. It does, however, take time to learn how to pray and read the Word to determine which spiritual season you are in.

[Tweet ” It takes time to learn how to pray and read the Word to determine which spiritual season you’re in”]

[Tweet “Your ability to praise the Lord despite your circumstances has the power to awaken your dreams, including the dreams of future generations.”]

Your ability to praise the Lord despite your circumstances has the power to awaken your dreams, including the dreams of future generations.

Dreams, like seasons, change often.

If you are unsure how to cultivate a life of your dreams, ask yourself these four questions to determine how to move forward.

  1. Summer: My dreams are ripe. Even in the heat of summer, we can relax and take a much-needed vacation. We can taste and see that the Lord is good (see: Psalm 34:8).
  2. Fall: My dreams are harvested. We can mature and save up for the winter season knowing that we are rooted and grounded in love (see: Ephesians 3:17). We can choose not to be moved away from the hope of the gospel (see: Colossians 1:23).
  3. Winter: My dreams are not dead. Winter brings a much-needed break, although it might feel like coming to a screeching halt. We may feel uncomfortable with the process of solitude and silence, but it will help us uncover what’s in our hearts. To admit, like Elijah, the answer to the question, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (see: 1 Kings 19:9, 13).
  4. Spring: My dreams are newly planted. We may not understand, at first, that the storms and rain are actually a blessing to drive that tiny seed deeper and further under the soil to die so that it can come back to life. We can plant in tears knowing we will harvest with shouts of joy in a future season (see: Psalm 126:5).

Spiritual seasons can be tricky. It took me almost an entire year to realize I was in a winter season last year, and to acknowledge that my dreams were not dead—just waiting for spring.

This spring, I thought that my dreams were coming back to life, only to have a mound of dirt piled on top of me so these baby dreams can grow for a later harvest in a future season. It’s so complicated that I sometimes feel like giving up. Will my desires ever be met? But, if I’m honestly asking myself that question—I already know the answer. Of course they will! God has been faithful before and He will again.

[Tweet “Whatever season you’re in, don’t quit! Don’t run away! Bloom where you’re planted. “]

I don’t know what season you are in, but don’t quit! Don’t run away! You can bloom where you’re planted.

“There will always be flowers for those who want to see them.

There will always be dreams for those who want to live them!

QUESTION: How do you mentor a woman who’s in a different season than you?

*1 Quote from Henry Matisse

In Hope for All Seasons, Renee Fisher tells us not to give up whatever season you're in right now.

 

Renee Fisher is a spirited speaker, coach, consultant and author, who published her first nine books in under eight years. A self-proclaimed “Dream Defender,” Renee is passionate about calling dreams to life in others. A graduate of Biola University, she lives in Austin, Texas with her handsome husband and their fur child named “Star.” Connect with Renee Fisher on Facebook, Instagram, and her Website.

*Excerpt from Unloved: Finding Freedom by Embracing Your Inner Critic, a short but powerful eBook that empowers women to find freedom by embracing their inner critic. You can purchase on Amazon for $2.99 here: http://bit.ly/UnlovedBook

Hope for all Seasons is an excerpt from Renee Fisher's book Unloved.

October 30, 2017
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The Lasting Fruit of Mentoring

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Today’s guest post is written by my good friend and fellow author/speaker Pam Farrel. I can still remember Pam and her husband Bill sitting on our deck as I told her about writing my new book Mentoring for All Seasons and how hard it was to find stories on mentoring during midlife, menopause, and downsizing seasons. Pam readily offered her own stories of those seasons. Now Pam also has a new Bible study Discovering Hope in the Psalms: A Creative Bible Study Experience, one of the most complete and creative studies I have ever read on the book of Psalm. You’ll definitely want to get this study for your personal and group study.

The Lasting Fruit of Mentoring

By Pam Farrel

Last year, my friend Janet Thompson invited me to share a story of how mentoring had transformed my life for her book Mentoring For All Seasons. And concurrently , this fall, my 45th book released: Discovering Hope in the Psalms: A Creative Bible Study Experience. To me, these books form parallel tracks, that have moved my life forward—and my prayer is they will also move millions of women’s life forward.

Discovering Hope in the Psalms is a study by Pam Farrel

When you release a new book, one of the tasks your publisher wants you to do is send a sample, or complimentary copy of the book to gatekeepers, or women of influence who believe in God, believe in you, and believe in the ministry God has given to you. This always takes me on a mental trip down memory lane. I look back on the series of amazing mentors God has given me in my life. These women have poured wisdom, truth, strength, and common sense into me. They have built and blessed me.

[Tweet “Mentors pour wisdom, truth, strength, and common sense into mentees. “]

I would not be who I am except for God escorting each of them across my path at just the right moment. All I had to do was keep a hungry heart to want to know and grow more.

[Tweet “Psalms in Pam Farrel’s Hope Bible study captures the kind of heart God is looking for receptive to learning what those older and wiser have to share “]

A few of the Psalms in my Hope Bible study captures the kind of heart God is looking for—the kind of heart receptive to learning what those older and wiser have to share:

God is looking for thirsty hearts.

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? (Psalm 42:1-2)

This word picture is of a deer searching, longing, desperate for living water to quench her/ his dying thirst. To me it is much like the kind of person Jesus talks about in the Sermon on the mount that God wants to bless: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” (Matt. 5:6)

God is looking for contrite hearts.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:17)

Broken in this verse means to “shatter into tiny pieces”. And contrite is to “crush to bits” I like to picture this as the tiny pieces of stained glass that in the hands of an artist becomes a magnificent work of art, more beautiful and valuable after it has been broken. In my life, many of my mentors have served as the artisans that God has used to put my life back together.

[Tweet “Many mentors have served as the artisans that God has used to put Pam Farrel’s life back together. “]

God is looking for grateful hearts

Enter his gates with thanksgiving   and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations (Psalm 100:4- 5)

People with grateful hearts, seek out spending time with others who want to thank and praise the goodness of God. All the many mentors of my life have taught me to be grateful, thankful, appreciative of every moment someone has shared with me, sacrificed for me, so I could learn to know God better.

This fall, I looked for ways to go, in person, and thank many of my mentors:

I spoke at Tina’s church. Tina was the Campus Crusade staffer, just a few years older than me, who taught me some of the basics of the Christian walk: How to have a quiet time, how to walk by faith, how to walk in the power of the Holy spirit, how to share my faith, and how to make much better relationship decisions.

God also allowed me to say thanks to Nora, who mentored me in my role as a mother. Bev who mentored me in my role as a Pastor’s wife. Pat my mentor in my role as a Women’s Director, and Jill, my mentor as Christian speaker. There are many more, and in the coming months, I will look for ways to go, in person, give each a copy of Discovering Hope in the Psalms Bible study, thank them, and assure them that I value each minute they sacrificed to pour wisdom into me.

[Tweet “In eternity mentors will meet women who began a relationship with the Creator God all because they cared and shared as mentors”]

The seeds each planted have blossomed into lasting fruit around the world–and one day in eternity, each of these mentors will meet women who began a relationship with the Creator God, and grew into reproducing leaders who mentor others also—all because they cared and shared as mentors.

As each of us, who care about mentoring others, looks and prays about who God might want us to mentor, there will be women with thirsty, contrite, grateful, ready hearts we can pour into.

[Tweet “As women who care about mentoring others, look and pray about who God wants us to mentor. There are women everywhere with thirsty, contrite, grateful, ready hearts we can pour into.”]

Who might God want you to mentor?

Who could be a mentor to you?

 

Pam Farrel is an international speaker,  Co-Director, with her husband, Bill Farrel of  Love-Wise, and the author of 45 books including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and her newest, co-authored with Jean E Jones and Karla Dornacher’’, Discovering Hope in the Psalms.

Read more of Pam Farrel’s story as mentor and mentee in chapters 14 and 15 of  Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, available at all Christian bookstores, online book stores, Amazon, and signed by Janet at her website store

October 23, 2017
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Could Mentoring Have Protected Young Actresses?

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How Could Mentoring Have Helped Hollywood actresses speak out sooner if the older actresses had taken the time and effort to mentor them?

“Let’s forget about ourselves and worship Christ the Lord!”

Singing this stanza in church yesterday, reminded me of mentoring: a mentor selflessly thinks more about helping her mentee learn to worship Christ than she thinks about herself and the time and effort it might require.

[Tweet “A mentor selflessly thinks more about helping her mentee learn to worship Christ”]

Last week, we learned the awful truth that many in Hollywood—older, seasoned actresses and actors—as well as politicians, knew or had an idea of what a wealthy influential producer was doing sexually to young actresses. But everyone kept quiet until a reporter’s well-researched story finally went public. The perpetrator’s pride, wealth, and influence led him to believe he was indestructible and could bribe or ruin careers of anyone who threatened to expose him, and it seems it worked for years.

Many young actresses defiled and intimidated into believing that giving into his sexual demands and overtures was the only way to advance in the industry. Most became successful by Hollywood’s standards—wealth, Oscars, awards, movie contracts, fame—but at the cost of their own dignity and self-worth. The irony, and yes hypocrisy, is that most of Hollywood lectures and ridicules conservatives, while fostering this travesty in their own camp. Ignoring despicable and decrepit sexual abuse.

Why didn’t these young women speak out sooner? Probably their naivety, intimidation, and desperate desire for a career in Hollywood.

[Tweet “Why didn’t older actresses mentor younger ones not to succumb to the producer’s overtures”]

Why didn’t older actresses mentor them with encouragement that they were better than succumbing to this man’s overtures? So many professing “feminist” actresses and female politicians demanding higher pay and better roles for women, didn’t stop this man preying on these young actresses.

Others in Hollywood joked at Oscar presentations, in private, at Hollywood parties where many liberals attended regularly, about what many admit, “Everyone knew or surmised what was happening.”

Some victims tried to speak out but were hushed. No one wanted to hear their story or take them seriously, and the more they protested the fewer parts they received.

Now women are feeling empowered to come forward with their stories of sexual harassment and even rape; but it took a male reporter to bring down a sexual predator while the women who knew kept silent.

Reading the Book of Psalms, I see so many Scriptures documenting what’s happening right now: the foundation of deceit, sin, pride, and worldly ways crumbling . . . it always does . . . eventually.

 I have a message from God in my heart
concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
There is no fear of God
before their eyes.

2 In their own eyes they flatter themselves
too much to detect or hate their sin.
3 The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful;
they fail to act wisely or do good.
4 Even on their beds they plot evil;
they commit themselves to a sinful course
and do not reject what is wrong. Psalm 36:1-4

What if someone had mentored these young actresses from God’s Word?

Spread Your faithful love over those who know You,
and Your righteousness over the upright in heart.
11 Do not let the foot of the arrogant man come near me
or the hand of the wicked one drive me away.
12 There the evildoers fall;
they have been thrown down and cannot rise. Psalm 36:10-12 (HCSB)

Do not be agitated by evildoers;
do not envy those who do wrong.
2 For they wither quickly like grass
and wilt like tender green plants.

3 Trust in the Lord and do what is good;
dwell in the land and live securely.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you your heart’s desires.

5 Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act,
6 making your righteousness shine like the dawn,
your justice like the noonday.

7 Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him;
do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way,
by the man who carries out evil plans.

8 Refrain from anger and give up your rage;
do not be agitated—it can only bring harm.
9 For evildoers will be destroyed,
but those who put their hope in the Lord
will inherit the land.

The wicked person schemes against the righteous
and gnashes his teeth at him.
13 The Lord laughs at him
because He sees that his day is coming.

The little that the righteous man has is better
than the abundance of many wicked people.
Psalm 37:1-9, 12-13, 16 (HCSB)

[Tweet “What if someone cared enough to get involved in the young actresses lives and share Jesus with them.”]

What if someone cared enough to get involved in the actresses lives, lead them to the Book with all the answers for every situation, and assure them the wicked don’t prosper in God’s economy? Helped them see the choices they make to advance their career stays with them forever—but maintaining their dignity and pride also stays with them forever.

What Can the Church Learn From Hollywood?

[Tweet “What Can the Church Learn From Hollywood?”]

This Hollywood “scandal” has uncovered a topic to discuss right now with the young women in our churches. Instead of focusing on the evils of Hollywood and politicians enabling this horrific discovery, let’s use it to talk to young women about protecting their own purity. How often do you hear sexual purity talked about from the pulpit!? The definition of sin . . .any kind of sin!?

How many boyfriends pressure women and young girls to have sex and they succumb fearing he will dump them or ridicule them to peers? How many abortions result because no one stepped into these young women’s lives with God’s truth, assurance of options, and how to live virtuous pure lives? How many, even in the church, have given up on the concept of purity with the attitude: everyone is having sex, there’s nothing we can do, and it’s inevitable? How many Christians have accepted the ways of the world instead of the ways of Jesus?

[Tweet “How many Christians have accepted the ways of the world instead of the ways of Jesus?”]

How is this any different in our churches from the powerful producer seducer and the seasoned actresses staying silent because they didn’t want to get involved, felt it wasn’t their place, or didn’t want to jeopardize their own careers?

I wrote a blog post about this very topic in January 2017: Love Your Body: Revive Sexual Purity.

Jesus wrote to believers about the ways of the world. Isn’t it our job as Christian men and women to help protect the next generation from the evil one? John 17:15 is our assignment from the Lord.

“My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.”

[Tweet “My book Mentoring for All Seasons, has tips to help mentors deal with sensitive issues to protect mentees from sin”]

In Mentoring for All Seasons, I have tips to help mentors deal with sensitive issues to protect children and women mentees by not ignoring sin in their lives. I also quote Dr. Owen Strachan from his article “What the Future Holds,” in Tabletalk Magazine, August 2015, 22. Dr. Strachan, assistant professor of Christian theology and church history at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky., and president of the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, warns what will happen if we don’t:

…we will minister to a people who are suffering the effects of rampant sin. There will be profound moral and spiritual consequences of the new sexual secularism. America is in the midst of a spiritual un-awakening. In everyday terms, this means that human suffering in America will increase. Children will be less protected. Families will feel pressure to pull apart. Marriages will prove harder to sustain. Lostness, the chief form of suffering in this world, will spread.

What lesson can the church take and apply from Dr. Owen’s prediction?

How could mentoring prevent his predictions?

What could you and I do?

PS: I’m having cataract surgery October 17 and 31. I appreciate your prayers for a smooth recovery, but while I’m healing, I’ve invited wonderful guest bloggers to share their thoughts and stories with you, until I can return to writing. I hope to be back with you soon.

Excerpts from Mentoring for All Seasons used with approval from Leafwood Publishers.

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Older women should teach and train the younger women.

 

 

October 16, 2017
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