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How Do We Love Those Who Reject God and His Ways?

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“Loving people unconditionally is not the equivalent of affirming their life choices at the expense of biblical truth.”

The above quote was a post on Facebook by my friend Susan Reinhardt. I was browsing through posts while praying for the Lord to reveal what to write about this week when I came across Susan’s post and realized this was a theme the Lord had been giving me all week.

Since the leak of the SCOTUS draft opinion by Justice Alito on the unconstitutionality of Roe v Wade and stating that abortion legislation should be decided in the states not at the Federal level, we’ve all watched the screaming, yelling, vulgar signs, and vile words of the Pro-Abortion activists taking to the streets. Pro-death protests that women should be able to kill their own children have occurred nationwide, many involving violence. Protesters have targeted the homes of conservative Supreme Court justices, vandals have targeted at least five pro-life crisis pregnancy centers across the U.S., and Catholic churches have been threatened and vandalized.

Sometimes, the protestors admit to being Satanists, but Satan is rejoicing with all the protests. I’m sure many of the protestors are women who’ve had abortions and are seeking affirmation to alleviate their guilt. Then there are those who are just following the crowd or it’s something they were told was a woman’s right and they’ve never even considered that there’s another person involved with rights, the innocent baby. Or they haven’t read or heard details of the torture and gruesome realities of abortion.

You hear some of these activists interviewed and they’ve been force-fed by the media, Planned Parenthood, liberals, Elites, and Democrats that even though science proves there’s a living feeling moving human baby waiting to be born, they’ve believed the lie that it’s not really a fellow human being until its first breath. Lies! Lies! lies!!!

Satan is the father of lies and deception and without the Holy Spirit to help discern the truth, lies can seem believable. Just like Eve was deceived in the garden by the serpent Satan who had her doubting and questioning, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” Gen. 3:1

 I’ll admit when I saw the angry, illiterate, disgusting words and signs of the protestors, I was appalled, repulsed, and angry. I’m sure many of you are too. Then I saw a sign one young woman was holding, “I wish my mother had aborted me!” The only emotion I felt was sadness for her. What little self-worth does someone possess who would rather they were never born so she’s championing that no child should have the right to life.

I realize that most of the protestors do not want to have a rational conversation, but that young woman was crying out for help. Was anyone listening? She needed someone to tell her there’s a God who created her with a purpose for her life and He wanted her to be born.

My mother once said to me, if she had known all the illnesses she was going to have in her lifetime and might pass on to her children, she wished she had never had me! I’ve never forgotten her words and I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t have had a chance to live the life I’ve enjoyed or accomplished what the Lord had planned for me, especially to be known and loved by Him. That poor girl holding the “I wish I hadn’t been born sign” needs to know she is loved by God.

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 2 Tim. 2:24 NLT

Our Battle is Not Against the Protesters or Pro-Death Advocates!

I heard a woman who leads a pro-life organization interviewed and it was pointed out to her how the pro-life groups are the exact opposite of the pro-abortion groups. Pro-life groups are typically smiling, praying, singing, holding life-affirming signs, and trying to have rational conversations with those who oppose them. When asked how she tries to combat the pro-abortion groups, she said many of them don’t really understand the barbaric torture of abortion and I wish we could just have open discussion with them. But most of the time that’s impossible. They just want to scream and not listen.

You may have seen last week during a Congressional hearing when a young pro-abortion activist said she believed that yes men can get pregnant!! It was hard not to just laugh at the absurdity of her belief, but it begs the questions: What did she not learn in biology? Where did she receive her brainwashing? Is she mentally ill or mentally incompetent? Could she give an example of that ever happening in history? Satan smiles at her illiterate response and God cries.

In the same hearing, a Planned Parenthood doctor wouldn’t answer if she had seen or removed baby body parts during abortion. Even she couldn’t verbalize the horror of what she does as a “doctor” while killing a baby in the womb. A doctor that took an oath to save life works for an organization whose sole purpose is murder under the false pretense of “healthcare.”

The Democrat led White House is already preparing for the nationwide violence they expect from their radical constituents when the Roe v Wade ruling is announced. Instead of telling their people not to riot or take violent actions and to be sure their protests are legal and peaceful, they’re expecting violence because that’s what the liberal left, progressives, and Elites do when they don’t get their way.

The woman leading the pro-life organization understood the evil one has deceived these people. Paul clearly tells us in Ephesians 6:10-13 who the real enemy is and how to combat him!

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

As Christians, What Should We Do for These Lost Souls?

Satan is blinding people to the truth and he’s unwilling to let the captives go. Even some news commentators have mentioned that the opposition we’re watching by the pro-abortion advocates and government officials seems like a spiritual battle. They can’t deny what their eyes are seeing.

Our job as Christians is to pray that the truth would set the captives free from this satanic woke cult that has invaded their heart, mind, and soul and replaced their sense of reason, common sense, and morality! I know that’s hard to do when they can be so belligerent and their actions are so detestable, but they’re lost and destined to eternal damnation. As my pastor says, they are our mission field. When we think of it that way, I don’t know about you, instead of feeling angry, I feel sorrow and even compassion for them. They are who Jesus came to save not cast aside as hopeless!

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. Luke 19:10

Many people have the false belief that because Christians are to display Christ’s love, we cannot call out people’s sin. But that makes no sense. How will they ever be convicted that their actions are wrong if someone doesn’t help them see the truth? Jesus did not agree with sin. He went to the cross to provide forgiveness for sin, but the sinner has to acknowledge their sin and repent, and then they can receive forgiveness and be blessed with eternal salvation. That’s the Truth and Good News of the gospel and there is no shortcut.

3 If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing. 4 Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God. 2 Cor. 4:3-4 NLT

It’s easy to love those who think like we do and agree with us, but it’s challenging to love our enemies or those who don’t believe like us. We are living in times when the spiritual battle between good and evil is prevalent and evident. As Christians, we must stand up for good and abhor evil. We don’t go along with evil to get along. We don’t accept evil so as not to make waves, even when it’s happening within our own family. We stand up for truth and morality always! We keep showing the love of Christ while not condemning but not condoning.

I share being in this exact situation in my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help, & Encouragement for Hurting Parents. My daughter never doubted my love for her, but she also knew that I didn’t agree with her actions at the time. They weren’t ok just because she was my daughter. I prayed daily for her for six years, never agreeing with her sinful choices but always loving her with a mother’s unconditional love and one day she accepted Christ as her Savior. Today, she’s a godly wife and mother.

I know many of you are in a similar situation right now. You have a loved one who is making bad choices. You still want a relationship with them but you don’t know how to do this without agreeing with the way they’re living. My advice to you is don’t change or waiver from your beliefs and truths. You stay consistent in living biblically but you show kindness, compassion, and love rather than condemnation. Keep communication open. Keep praying. Keep loving. Keep close to Jesus. Don’t waiver in your faith or beliefs, but don’t stop loving.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Eph. 4:15

 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good! Romans 12:9 NLT

To learn more about the Purple Sash Revolution.

To read my recent post on abortion There’s Hope for America Breaking Free from Demonic Paganism!

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Since next Monday is a holiday, there won’t be a Monday Morning Blog but God willing, I’ll be back June 6th! Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend.

May 23, 2022
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There’s Hope for America Breaking Free From Demonic Paganism!

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The title of last week’s blog was God Is Up to Something Big! That almost seems prophetic with the events of the past week and the answer to so many prayers with the SCOTUS “leak” that Roe v Wade will be overturned after the murder of over 63 million precious children in our country alone in the past fifty years since it became law. We should be rejoicing and not let victory be tainted by the way we heard about it that has set Democrats and pro-abortion advocates into a frenzy.

I want to preface this blog with a word to anyone suffering from the guilt of having an abortion and not yet asked and received the Lord’s forgiveness. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

My friend Pat Layton has a beautiful ministry Surrendering the Secret I would encourage you to look into. “A ministry designed to help women (and men) heal from the hurt of abortion. Abortion affects people of all walks of life. At STS we, provide resources for women that have had abortions, and opportunities for others to help support these women.” 

Paganism in America

I often read the Bible in a year. This year, I’m using the CBN.Com reading schedule where I read from the Old and New Testament each day. As I study, I see a stark resemblance to the world we’re living in today. No longer are we a country governed by our foundational Judeo-Christian beliefs, morals, fairness, and justice or even a belief in God We Trust.

We now have a political party in charge who worships nature through a false religion of climate control/change. Encourages mothers to murder their unwanted babies, censors and controls any dissention from their demented platform, and a President who calls anyone who is a patriot and believes in God, country, and the sanctity of life, “the most extreme political organization that’s ever existed in recent American history.”

Actually, Biden’s regime is the first administration in my lifetime who wants to destroy America, trash the Constitution, and turn us into a Marxist/Communist country. I would call that an “extreme political organization.”

When you look into the eyes of those who are demanding women have the demonic “right” to kill their unborn babies, even infanticide after birth, and who can’t define a woman and believe men can get pregnant, you see evil deception, greed, power, and pride.

Paganism! Hedonism!

King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, was also enticed by paganism, but the Lord saw everything just like He’s watching all the evil today, and He said there would be consequences to the king who once wisely saved a baby’s life. (1 Kings 3:16-28)

1 Kings 11:1-8 tells of Solomon’s downfall:

Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites. 2 The Lord had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.” Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. 3 He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the Lord.

4 In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the Lord his God, as his father, David, had been. 5 Solomon worshiped Ashtoreth, the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech,[a] the detestable god of the Ammonites.

6 In this way, Solomon did what was evil in the Lord’s sight; he refused to follow the Lord completely, as his father, David, had done. 7 On the Mount of Olives, east of Jerusalem,[a] he even built a pagan shrine for Chemosh, the detestable god of Moab, and another for Molech, the detestable god of the Ammonites. 8 Solomon built such shrines for all his foreign wives to use for burning incense and sacrificing to their gods.

Chemosh was the name of the chief pagan god of the Moabites. Molech represents the most repulsive of acts in God’s sight, the ritual sacrifice of children to a pagan god. Just like abortion sacrifices children to the gods of pleasure, convenience, selfish ambition, and money.

I wonder if all the protestors, activists, and politicians demanding that abortion remain legal have ever watched the movie Unplanned where we see a callous doctor vacuum a fetus out of a mother’s womb. Or read about the tortures children experience during abortion when saline is injected in-vitro into their heart to stop it from beating or instruments used to tear the baby apart limb by limb in their mother’s womb. If you can stand to hear details, Dr. Anthony Levatino, a former abortion doctor, graphically described the procedure to Congress.

The tortured, burned, dismembered bodies of these babies are thrown into trashcans or sold for research. That’s the reality of abortion. Most people would be aghast if this atrocity happened to puppies, yet people and politicians are actually protesting that every woman should have the “right” to mercilessly kill their unborn child. Barbaric. Hedonistic ritualistic sacrifice of humans. Paganism!

I recently heard an abortion survivor at seven months share her story. She’s a beautiful woman who founded an abortion survivors’ organization. She has a family. She had a right to life just like every aborted child had a right to its life.

Biden in defense of abortion falsely claims “Roe says what all basic mainstream religions have historically concluded, that the existence of a human life and being is a question. Is it at the moment of conception? Is it six months? Is it six weeks? Is it quickening, like Aquinas argued?”

This is an outright lie when he knows his own Catholic “religion” vehemently opposes abortion. Actually, it doesn’t matter what “mainstream religions” say, it only matters that God says, “Thou shalt not kill!” Period. No discussion or rationalization. And with modern technology and science, we absolutely do know that human life begins at conception. Now we can hear the baby’s heartbeat and literally watch the child develop in the womb! We know a baby in the womb experiences fetal pain and has viability in the second trimester and in some cases even earlier.

When an interviewer asked Dr. Levatino to give a gestational timeframe for acceptable abortion, he responded, “You were always you!” In other words, NEVER!

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.” Jer. 1:5 NLT

While lobbying for abortion and not once condemning the “leak” or supporting SCOTUS, Biden said, “abort a child,” and then declared, “I believe I have the rights that I have not because the government gave it to me . . . but because I’m just a child of God: I exist.” Yes, Mr. President you exist with rights because your mother chose life and not death for you. But God does not give the right to murder. Every aborted child is a child of God with a right to exist! Using God in your defense of abortion is blasphemy and an abomination to our Great Creator. *

Let’s read on to see what God said to King Solomon about abandoning the Lord’s ways.

9 The Lord was very angry with Solomon, for his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. 10 He had warned Solomon specifically about worshiping other gods, but Solomon did not listen to the Lord’s command. 11 So now the Lord said to him, “Since you have not kept my covenant and have disobeyed my decrees, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your servants. 1 Kings 11:9-11 NLT

No one is fooled. The Democrats were behind the SCOTUS vile leak to rev up their base because the odds are against them in November and to take the focus off inflation, crime, rising food and gas costs, and the invasion at the border. They were ready with their protestors and speeches moments after the leak. They know they’re on a trajectory to lose “their kingdom” and long ago they discarded ethics, morals, and scruples. We saw that with the last election.

What Do We Do Now?

With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies. Ps. 108:13

1. We pray for wisdom of when and what to do and say. We pray for the safety and protection of the Supreme Court Justices and their families and that they don’t waiver under pressure but vote with integrity. We don’t stay silent in the face of deception and evil. We pray for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. (Matt. 6:10)

2. We speak the truth and educate those who often don’t even know that they’re championing and protesting for mothers to kill their children.

3. We vote for anti-abortion, family-friendly truly Conservative Christian political representatives and do our homework before we vote. When abortion comes back to the states to vote, we’ll have our work to do all over again, especially if you live in blue states.

4. We support parents speaking out against the pornographic perverted sex and racist CRT taught in some schools today. I wrote more about this is my blog “They’re Coming for Our Children!”

When its age appropriate, children should be taught the biological fact that when a male sperm permeates a female egg a child results and it can happen the first time you have unprotected sex! That’s how babies are made. Don’t have sex unless you’re ready to take on that responsibility. I think it would be good for sex education to show videos of babies developing in the womb so that children won’t be deceived into thinking there’s not a real person with moving arms and legs and eyes, nose, and a mouth that smiles.

Kimberly Fletcher, founder of MomsforAmerica.us says parents need to teach their children the truth about abortion and that it is barbarically taking a life. Raise children to understand the difference between death and the value and sanctity of life. Understanding evil versus good should be taught in every home. Children are hearing lies and hyperbole and home should be a safe place to hear the truth and ask questions.

5. If you haven’t seen the movie Unplanned, watch it now to reaffirm your anti-abortion, pro-life conviction and recommend it to anyone you know who is pro-abortion, pro-death. Here’s the trailer.

6. Churches should offer counseling and ministries to provide hope and tangible help to women dealing with unplanned pregnancies. For those who have already had abortions, help them find spiritual healing that comes from seeking God’s forgiveness.

I’ll close with this story. On a panel show discussing the Roe leak, a liberal left Democrat who was distraught with the possible overturn of Roe spewed angrily, “What am I supposed to tell my daughters?!”

With those words, he epitomized the reality of what abortion has become to many, including parents, a form of accepted birth control.

I said to the TV screen, “You tell your daughters not to have promiscuous sex outside of marriage. You tell them don’t have unprotected sex unless you’re ready to have a baby. You remind them that sex is the beautiful way God created for a husband and wife to come together as one to give the gift of life to a child. You tell them abortion snuffs out a life.

They shed innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters, whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan, and the land was desecrated by their blood. Ps. 106:38

But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. Matt. 18:6 NLT

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deut. 30:19

Here are blogs I wrote previously.

What If Abortion Had Been an Option for Mary?

Why You Should See #Unplanned Movie

Prisoner’s of Choice By Patti Smith

*Note: I’ve told you in earlier blogs how God often confirms the topic I’m to write about. I hope you’ll take a moment to read an article in Blaze News by Steve Deace “The most demonic moment in the history of the presidency?” I had already written the above blog when I read Deace’s article, which conveyed similar thoughts the Lord had given to me. It was an ah-ha moment over my Friday morning coffee. Here’s Deace’s closing paragraph . . .

“If you are a Christian, you must realize that the president of the United States just brought down curses and judgement upon your nation no different than the wicked kings of ancient Israel did. He is telling you that the heavens demand human sacrifice. He is telling you, this “devout Catholic,” that salvation comes from rogue tyranny and power over others instead of from the cross. In other words, Nero still lives.”

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May 9, 2022
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Don’t Just Go to Church, Be the Church

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We’ve just come through a period we never thought could happen in America: the government shut down churches. In the beginning of Covid, everyone was still trying to figure it all out. But soon it became obvious that the closures were indiscriminate as large box stores like COSTCO and Home Depot and liquor stores were still allowed to remain open. They were considered essential and churches were not. I wrote blogs during that period encouraging churches not to acquiesce, but sadly, many did. Some closed their doors for over a year and many went online giving the government a taste of success in ruling over churches.

Praise God, many bold and brave pastors recognized the tyranny and fought against it to keep meeting. Some at great peril but they understood the church needed to be together to pray, worship, fellowship, encourage each other, and be available to those who were fearful and wanted to know more about the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Even saying the church is family didn’t impact the draconian “rules” because families were being told not to meet together!

You’ve heard it said that freedoms lost or surrendered are usually never regained. But thankfully, most churches have reconvened meeting again in person, and even with the continuing new variants, churches are staying open. Unfortunately, many Christians have not returned because they’re out of the habit or routine or they’re still living in fear. And that’s the enemy’s plan!

The media would have you think that surveys are proving the Christian population is diminishing, but you know better than to believe everything you read and hear. We live in an era where liberals are intent on demoralizing, demeaning, and denouncing Christians and everything we stand for and believe. Marxism/Socialism/Communism is anti-religion. Their cowardly tactic is shame and bullying. Trying to use the power of words, name-calling, and cancel culture to threaten and intimidate us into backing down from our faith and God’s Word. But those who live for Christ alone won’t be fooled or shaken!

I hope you stand with me in not being daunted by the enemy. But instead using this tumultuous time as an opportunity to be a vocal voice for the power of Jesus Christ to overcome evil in our world and in our life! As the apostle Paul told his mentee Timothy: “So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.” 2 Timothy 1:8

Vine’s definition of ashamed is: “A strong feeling of shame preventing a person from doing something.” Is there something preventing you from doing what you know the Lord is asking of you to do?

If God wants us to do something and the Holy Spirit prompts us—regardless of how “politically incorrect” or unpopular it might be, we need to proudly declare the name of Jesus and follow the Great Commission He left for us to live out. We must unite together against the pressures of this world—no matter how many names they call us, laws they pass to quiet us, or how unpopular we become personally … our job as Christians is to speak and live the Gospel joyfully and fervently.

The True Christian World is Not Shrinking

Reality is that the true Christian population is not shrinking—Christians who would never back down in the face of adversity are actually increasing. What is shrinking is the gap between those who call themselves “Christian” hoping for a free ticket to heaven while following the world’s ways, and those who identify with Christ and are willing to follow Him wherever He leads, even if it means suffering for the Gospel, as Paul did.

Both Jesus and Paul were rivals to the accepted culture of their day and everything they did upset the social order. Why would we think it so strange when we encounter the same reaction and persecution?

Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. John 15:20

The pseudo-Christians are looking for a gospel they’ll never find: one that allows them to not make waves and keep their faith “private.” As that becomes more impossible, their faith becomes weaker and they fall away. Those “so called” Christians become lesser in number.

But to those who have the courage to be unpopular for Christ no matter what—their faith becomes stronger and their stance against the wrongs of this world becomes bolder. Yes, praise God, the true Christian population is increasing. Again, just like Paul tells Timothy, these Christians will:

 With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. 9 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. 10 And now he has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News.—2 Timothy 1:8-10

There’s Only One Kind of Christian

God shields every Christian who believes in living out the Bible—and only the Bible. A new term has caught my attention: “Bible-believing Christian.” I shake my head every time I hear it because there is no other kind of Christian. If you don’t believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, call yourself anything you want, but don’t call yourself a Christian because that’s blasphemy and heresy.

God ordains the steps of every Christian who has surrendered their life to Jesus and is born-again. We need to be using what He has given us in the time that we have here on Earth. God had a reason for saving us. So when we speak up for God, He gives our words power and He infuses us with courage. Holy God-fearing people love God and others and tell the truth about God to everyone, even when the audience is hostile.

Liberals and nonbelievers try to taunt us with the argument that Jesus loved everyone so Christians should love everyone’s sins. But they’re twisting the word “love” to mean what they want it to mean. To use “love” to justify sin is the exact opposite of what Jesus taught and why He went to the cross.

God loves His creations so much He sent His only Son Jesus to die for them to repent of their sins.

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

It’s true that Jesus loved the world and that’s why He died for everyone to have freedom from sin—sins that God hates. Jesus didn’t go to the cross so we could keep on sinning, but so that we could live a life free from sin. That’s the true loving Gospel. Sharing the love of Christ and the Gospel with someone is the most loving thing you could do.

As Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery: “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” 12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:11-12

Sin is Sin Even When Our Family is Doing It

I know firsthand that one of the hardest things as a parent is to watch our children or grandchildren choose to sin. I wrote a book about Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter so I know the heartbreak of feeling like you can’t do anything to stop them. But you can love them and pray for them. The worst thing you can do is enable them by overlooking their sin, indulging their sin, or trying to convince yourself that their sin isn’t really that bad.

Remember, every murderer is someone’s child, but that doesn’t make murder OK. Every alcoholic is someone’s child, but alcoholism is wrong. Every thief has parents, but stealing is a sin. If your child is indulging in alternate lifestyles, having sex outside of marriage, or experimenting with “transgenderism” or homosexuality—it’s all sin. God doesn’t make any mistakes. He made girls as girls and boys as boys and he created girls to fall in love with boys, get married, and then enjoy sex as they come together as one.

The most loving thing you can do for your sinning child, or anyone, is to pray for him or her to seek Jesus, ask for forgiveness, change their sinful ways, and live a righteous life. It’s painful and it takes courage, but my daughter is so glad I never gave up praying for her and today that’s our testimony together.

Christianity is the Only All-Inclusive Faith

When the world says that Christians are “exclusive” that only shows their ignorance of Christianity, the most “inclusive” religion in the world. Jesus is available to everyone. He died for everyone, but sadly, not everyone will accept His loving free invitation to eternal life with Him.

Hell is real and when Jesus returns, those who do not believe in Him will experience that reality.

 I leave you with a scenario that depicts this tragedy:

A young boyfriend and girlfriend were in a tragic accident and died. They’re looking down on the scene:

Girl to boy: “I have to leave you now.”
Boy: “I want to go with you wherever you’re going.”
Girl: “I’m going to be with God, but you didn’t accept him so you can’t come with me.”

Boy: “Did you know this?”

Girl: “Yes …”

Boy: “Then why didn’t you tell me?”
Girl: “I was afraid I would lose you.”

Who are you so afraid of losing here on Earth that you’ll have to say goodbye to them forever in eternity? Don’t be ashamed or fearful to share the Gospel. Someone’s eternal life depends on it.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

“When God sees you, for those of us in Christ, he sees his Son, Jesus. And when we get a glimpse of how beautiful he is and how beautiful he becomes in us, we want to join him in beautifying this world!” [A quote from Saddleback Church newsletter “Three important things to believe about Jesus”]

If you don’t receive my monthly newsletter, here is a link to January’s edition and you can sign up on my website to receive it monthly. The opening article is: Are You Ready?

In case you didn’t read last week’s blog I encourage you to read it today as we watch the horrific war on our police officers! Police Officers Have Our Backs; Let’s Have Theirs!

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The opening picture was created by Joshua Lutz, reppnforChrist.com. I saw it and knew immediately what the title of my blog should be. Originally, my title was Christianity Under Refining Fire! which also is a good one to describe the article don’t you think.

January 31, 2022
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It Always Was About Jesus! He is the Real Target . . .

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“Look at China, Russia, Venezuela. First they topple statues, then they start killing people, and then they take away your rights.” David Marcus, The Federalist

I’ve never been convinced that the George Floyd murder was about racism. It was the heinous act of a demented depraved policeman. But because he was white and the victim was black, the race card was played and suddenly people were forced to take sides even though everyone agreed it was an egregious act.

It should have unified all Americans that justice needed to prevail.

But that’s not what happened. People with an agenda saw it as an opportunity to unearth racial tension as if we had never made any progress in 400 years. What started out as “peaceful protests,” even in the midst of a pandemic, turned into destructive rioting and violent mobs that didn’t care if they were hurting blacks or whites or even those on their side, they just wanted to create havoc and panic.

And so they did as Democrat governors and mayors ignored protecting their defenseless constituents. In many cases, the police, who could have stopped the chaos, were told to stand down, as the protesters then turned on them.

There seems to be no limits to what the rioters can do or demands they can make because after all it’s all about “racism.”

I’m not minimizing the need for improvement in race relations but the lawlessness we’re watching in the streets of liberal “blue” states is political not relational.

God Is Not One Dimensional!

Caucasians, who God created with white skin, are shamed and manipulated into renouncing their presumed “white privilege” as if admitting that God liked them better than his darker skinned creations. Heresy!

God made us all different colors by His design. Since we’re all made in His image, Jesus appears to each of us in our own skin color.

Just like at Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came upon those gathered there from every nation, they each heard Peter and the believers sharing the gospel in their own language:

At that time there were devout Jews from every nation living in Jerusalem. 6 When they heard the loud noise, everyone came running, and they were bewildered to hear their own languages being spoken by the believers . . . “And we all hear these people speaking in our own languages about the wonderful things God has done!” 12 They stood there amazed and perplexed. “What can this mean?” they asked each other. Acts 2:5-6, 11-12

In his article America’s Jews and Christians Are Failing the Test of Their Lives, Dennis Prager wrote:

“Isn’t it fundamental to all Bible-based religions that we are all created in God’s image, that God has no race and that Adam and Eve, from whom we all descend, had no race? If you are a Christian, do you see Christians of other races first as fellow Christians or first as members of their race? If you are a Jew, do you see Jews of other races as anything other than fellow Jews? Does God?”

Only Satan Can Pit God’s Creation Against Itself!

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Satan’s Strategy to Devour and Destroy America

  1. Use a pandemic plague to close businesses and churches and force people to stay home.
  2. Use a horrific murder by a police officer to create racial chaos.
  3. Perpetuate a falsehood that all whites are racist.
  4. Introduce sham terms like “systemic racism” and “white privilege.”
  5. Generate hate against the police and remove their capability to protect communities.
  6. Call for defunding and disbanding the police and give the preposterous idea momentum.
  7. Make government officials apathetic toward looting, burning, defacing, mob violence.
  8. Guilt Caucasians into apologizing that God made them white.
  9. Encourage whites to bow down to Black Lives Matter militia.
  10. Create a fake repentance theology of whites washing the feet of blacks or shining their shoes.
  11. Continue to keep churches closed or require prohibitive restrictions while thousands of protestors and rioters have no restrictions and passengers pack into planes.
  12. Keep pastors and “the church” silent or denounced, even arrested, if they claim religious freedom and the right to meet.
  13. Tear down all replicas of American heritage and history, good or bad, while horrified Americans helplessly watch or misguided and deceived Americans applaud.
  14. Create disunity and fear among all Americans politically, racially, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
  15. Reveal Satan’s real motive: Go after Jesus and the church, which often still isn’t meeting and pastors are still staying silent.

Jesus Has Always Been the Target

Destroying Jesus is Satan’s ultimate goal and everything in between was just carnage to distract.

Satan knows that the only answer to division and strife is Jesus and His church!

Government can’t legislate or force racial tolerance. It has to be a heart change and only Jesus can change a heart!

I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed. I’ll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. Ezekiel 36:26-27 The Message

A person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people. Rom 2:29 NLT

That’s why Satan’s ultimate target is Jesus!

If we’re too busy fighting each other over racism, defunding and disarming the police, taking down the President, rebuilding everything torn down by rioters . . . maybe we won’t notice that Satan is trying to wipe out Christ’s heritage . . . the church.

Christian and conservative content, videos, and Scriptures are already being censored on social media and YouTube.

Now Satan will Start taking down statues, pictures, replicas, or stained glass windows with “white Jesus” and defacing churches.

Next Satan will go after the cross and anything resembling the cross. He’s tried this before but hasn’t completely succeeded.

Then he’ll get the Bible censored as hate speech. There will be burning of Bibles and a law against preaching the Bible or carrying your Bible outside of your home. Maybe it will be illegal even to have a Bible.

Christians will ultimately receive the final blow because if we’re silenced, no one will hear the truth about eternal life with Jesus versus eternal hell with Satan.

Do you think these things could never happen in America? Well look at what’s already happened in the first six months of 2020 that you never could have imagined.

  • A President impeachment attempt over a diplomatic phone call.
  • Citizens mandated to not leave home. Wear a mask. Not allowed to go to a park, play tennis, or go to the beach. Schools closed. “Social distance.”
  • Small businesses closed and owners harassed, lost business licenses, fined, or jailed if they opened.
  • Hoarding of TP.
  • Not allowed to go to church and fined or jailed if you tried.
  • National monuments defaced and torn down with no one stopping the vandalism.
  • Liberal radicals take over the center of a major Capitol city with the mayor’s and governor’s help.

How will Satan achieve all of this?

By the deception of people who do not know Jesus and maybe some who do but are deceived by lies instead of trusting the truth they once knew and believed.

Satan uses people to do his work on earth.

I’ve said many times what the Bible teaches: there are only two forces at work in this world, Satan and God. If you’re not following God, by default you’re following Satan. There is no in between.

Rise Up Church!

“The most patriotic thing you can do is give your life to Jesus!” Said by Billy Graham years ago and it never changes.

The next most patriotic thing you can do is to help others know the difference between Jesus or Satan guiding a life. Share with them that . . .

  • Jesus saves. Satan destroys.
  • Jesus loves. Satan hates.
  • Jesus unifies. Satan divides.
  • Jesus heals. Satan defiles.
  • Jesus is peace. Satan is discord.
  • Jesus is courage. Satan is cowardice.
  • Jesus is truth. Satan is a liar.
  • Jesus reveals. Satan deceives.
  • Jesus is hope. Satan is despair.
  • Jesus is light. Satan is darkness.

Can you think of more?

When you see what’s happening in the world today or listen to the news, consider it through the grid of Jesus or Satan.

I’ve learned not to let what I see happening today shock me because it’s so clearly Satan’s tactics and schemes. But we have the antidote: Time is short. Death is sure. Sin is the cause. Jesus is the cure!

I love the song, The Same Power by Jeremy Camp because it reminds us that we have the same power in us that rose Jesus from the grave! “We will not be overtaken, we will not be overcome!”

Scripture tells us we have the power to pray against demons so let’s pray against demonic behavior that wants to rob and steal our country of the peace and harmony of Jesus.

We’re on the winning side but we still need to fight the spiritual battles to achieve victory.

Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned. 17 These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak in new languages. Mark 16:16-17

I want to close with a word of encouragement.

I’m blessed to see that finally the threat to the church is bringing out bold and brave pastors and churches. I hope you’ll take the time to read this post, listen to the pastor, and then pray God multiplies this ministry with pastors of all races and all denominations across the United States: Pastors Vow to Defend Houses of Worship, Not Allow Christian Heritage to be Erased.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deut. 31:6 NLT

We cannot be afraid. Pick up your sword of the Spirit and pray like you’ve never prayed before. Your life and the life of the ones you love could very well depend on it.

Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Eph. 6:17-18 NLT

Note: In my AHW Ministries June Newsletter, I share about the positive difference a mentor made in the life of Senator Tim Scott, the only black Republican Senator at this time.

June 29, 2020
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Is Your Church Being Invaded?

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Is Your Church Being Inaded?

Since the beginning of time in the Garden of Eden, Satan’s sole purpose has been to destroy God’s kingdom on earth and overtake the world with evil and his tactical invasion is succeeding, not just in the world, but also in the church.

In the past, Satan’s tactics to divide churches were things like, chairs vs. pews. Hymns vs. contemporary music. Guitars and drums vs. pianos and organs. A young pastor or a seasoned pastor? Central campus or satellite campuses? These strategies of Satan seem trivial compared to today’s divisive issues that attack the central heartbeat and foundation of Christianity. Satan has methodically and effectively:

  • Changed God’s definition of marriage. Shockingly, certain denominations embrace gay marriage and gay clergy and it’s dividing their churches.
  • Legalized the killing of unborn and born babies—many of whom might have been Christian leaders, presidents, pastors, evangelists, parents, and loud voices in the wilderness.
  • Removed God, prayer, and Bibles from schools.
  • Eliminated God from the public square.

What has the church done to stop any of this? Very little.

Instead of the church influencing culture, the culture is influencing the church.

So is it any wonder that we see Satan zeroing in for a strategic blow: destroying unity in the church body and causing bitter divisions even among evangelicals.

Liberal politicians and commentators tout that Bible-believing Christians haven’t kept up with world changes and are thus becoming extinct. There’s no longer a universal definition of evangelical. The current political arena is revealing many shades of Evangelicals and Christians in what traditionally was simply, “the church.” Some Christians find it necessary to distinguish themselves as “gospel Christians” or “Bible-believing Christians.”

For a fantastic discussion on the biblical meaning and foundation of Evangelical Christians, and what liberal secularism will mean for our country if it takes over, watch this interview with Mark Levin and Pastor John Hagee, “Secularizing of America Will Lead to Heartache and Chaos.”

In Forsaken God? Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten, I warn of Satan’s impending invasion of the church if believers, who comprise God’s church, don’t take a firm stand against the devil’s schemes (Eph. 6:18):

Satan won’t like you making a concerted effort to remember God. Satan wants you to forget God’s goodness. Let that sink in a minute. If you forget God and his role in your life, then Satan has you just where he wants you. Satan’s target is believers. He doesn’t care about those who love the world because he already has them in his grip. He focuses on luring believers to love something else more than they love God. Satan wants to break God’s heart. Unfortunately, he seems to be succeeding in many areas. If he can get believers to look to the world’s ways, and forget God’s ways, Satan smirks.

Satan’s five strategic tactics to destroy churches with worldliness invading holiness.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” —John 10:10

Secularism

In an article in the Washington Post, Michelle Boorestein quoted Pastor Rick Scarborough, who is trying to politically mobilize evangelical voters: “Evangelicals are so divided….It’s because we are living in a growing age of secularism that is forcing itself on people who hold traditional values . . . .Some frame the split as Christian pragmatists vs. Christian idealists.”

No one, not even Satan, can force secularism or pragmatism on people who stay true to biblical values and principles. It’s a choice between compromise or commitment.

Satan is hijacking high-profile liberal pastors, speakers, authors, and several mainline denominations who expound that: the Bible isn’t inerrant or relevant, God is a myth, Jesus is a legend, and the church needs to catch up with the culture and abandon God’s Word regarding sin.

Culture never trumps Scripture.

Those who call themselves “progressive/liberal Christians” defiantly ignore Jesus’s warning that Christians are in the world, but not of the world. And Jesus didn’t come to conform to the culture; he came to reform the culture.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. —Romans 12:2

Selfishness

The center of all divisiveness is selfishness and pride. We want things our way, the way we think is right. The church often doesn’t agree on what Christ wants for His church.

No one likes admitting they’re wrong, but the heart of Christianity is admitting mistakes and misconceptions. Selfish pride is at the root of arguments, dissention, hurt feelings, gossip, and complaining. God hates pride; Satan loves it.

For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.—1 John 2:16

Sin

When was the last time you heard a sermon on what Scripture calls sin? Parishioners often want a pastor who doesn’t challenge them. How many in congregations today are living a sinful life without feeling any pangs of remorse because the church isn’t confronting them? How many pastors are afraid of retaliation if they call homosexuality, living together, adultery, abortion, lying, or cheating a sin?

Satan is the father of sin and he has done well when the church cowers in fear of being called judgmental, haters, prejudice, legalists and the latest, racist. The very foundation of the church is that Christians confess their sins, repent, ask for forgiveness and turn their lives over to Jesus.

Why did Jesus have to endure the painful cross for forgiveness of our sins if the church now refuses to call sinning wrong? Jesus loves all people, but he hates sin—“the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:23).

If a church doesn’t know how to love the sinner without embracing the sin, it may abandon the sinner or avoid confronting them thus condoning their sin.

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!—Matthew 18:7

Scandal

Pastors, church leaders, and prominent Christians succumb to moral or financial failures. Some even lose all hope and commit suicide. Churches don’t always have, or enforce, a system of accountability and mentoring at every level of leadership. Church staff may think they’re safe and above needing protective measures, and that’s right where Satan wants them with a target on their back. When one of these Christian leaders or someone in their family falls, the media and many Christians and fellow pastors are quick to voice opinions and denounce them publically. The church may not respond biblically, which is why nonbelievers characterize Christians as the only group that “eats its own.”

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.—Galatians 6:1

Social Acceptance

Many voices are screaming louder than the church, which in its attempt to be culturally relevant, may widen the road that Jesus said is narrow. Political correctness and ideological inclusiveness overshadows biblical truthfulness.

The church should only seek the exclusive acceptance of, and answer to, the Head of the Church—Jesus Christ.

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.—John 15:19

Sensationalism

Cultural Christianity creates an entertainment church, emphasizing popular people more than Holy God. Churches try the latest trend rather than leading from the Holy Spirit. Concert-style worship can detract from the purpose of musical worship—inviting in the Holy Spirit and drawing close to God, an atmosphere Satan hates.

Satan loves it when earplugs accompany the bulletin, little children plug their ears, and only those on stage sing. Or people don’t bring their Bibles to church because it’s too dark to read them.

For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. —Eph. 5:8-9 NLT

What should the church do to combat Satan’s divisive encroaching tactics?

Believers must agree to stand together united as the Christian church—led by Christ and based on biblical truths—and fight Satan using prayer and the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God, as our battle plan and strong fortress.

But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. 18 They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.

But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. —Jude 1:17-21

Otherwise, “If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand” (Mark 3:25).

“I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought” (1 Cor. 1:10).

Is your church being invaded?

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

July 29, 2019
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When Did We Become So Uncivil?

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When Did We Become So Uncivilized on social media?

It’s almost impossible to listen to a newscast without hearing harsh accusing comments rather than factual news. So-called news today is simply opinions and biases of the person or persons using their platform to bash someone who doesn’t agree with them or they don’t like. Often, these programs digress to shouting matches instead of civil debate. Dave and I usually turn those off because you can’t hear what either side is angrily saying as they talk over each other.

[Tweet “If you post something on Facebook or social media that people don’t agree with, get ready for comments attacking you”]

If you post something on Facebook or social media that people don’t agree with, get ready for comments attacking you, often filled with profanity, accusations, name-calling, and vile language. Just try reading the comments on President Trump’s twitter page or on Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ twitter or Franklin Graham’s Facebook page. You can be sure they only use social media to reach out to their supporters and they avoid reading the disgusting, often threatening, uncivil, vile comments directed at them and anyone who posts a positive comment. I for one can’t read them.

[Tweet “People feel they can hide behind social media to be at their worst”]

People feel they can hide behind these forms of communication to be at their worst. A liberal congresswoman on the left, encourages protestors to harass those who don’t agree with them i.e. Republicans, Trump supporters, and the Cabinet. There’s a reason why celebrities get restraining orders and even indictments against harassers because it always leads to someone getting hurt. And yet, we have public officials and celebrities encouraging this kind of behavior against people they don’t like or who don’t agree with them. Seriously? Is this how civil people act!?

[Tweet “There’s a reason why celebrities get restraining orders and even indictments against harassers”]

What About the Incivility of Christians?

We’ve come to expect this kind of uncivil discourse and public displays of hostility from the liberal left and those immersed in “the world’s ways,” but what about when we see these unsavory ways coming from those who profess to be Christians? How are they justifying the unkind way they talk to others . . . even to fellow Christians? Where are they finding justification for this kind of behavior in the Bible? From God?

When I posted my Monday Morning Blog, Why Is the Church Going Dark?, several of you responded with your perspective and opinion and we had a respectful, civil dialogue back and forth. It probably helped that I knew everyone commenting, and they knew me from following my blogs. They knew that my heart is to share ideas and topics for thought and conversation to draw us closer to Jesus and to each other.

Another Christian website saw the blog and felt it was an intriguing topic. They asked if they could reprint it. I said absolutely! As I write today, the post has 14,500 shares and 127 comments on their website! This is a topic many people feel strongly about and have an opinion. Some emailed me directly, even from Malesia!

But here’s the alarming difference between comments on my personal website post, where I’m known, and the Christian website where I’m not known personally. It’s obvious I’m a fellow Christian from my bio and what I reference in the article—but many comments were not gentle, kind, and uplifting as you would expect one Christian to talk to another. Some were even uncivil, rude, and accusatory. Not just toward me, but also toward each other’s comments.

As I read a few, I saw a defensive, judgmental, harsh, cynical, often condescending attitude. If you didn’t agree with their perspective, there was something wrong with you, even as a Christian! Where else have we heard that kind of uncivil attitude? In the world, that’s where.

Most of these people probably would never say to our face the things they wrote to me and to each other, and surely not while standing in the church foyer. But with the shadow of anonymity, they felt comfortable and safe lashing out if anyone, including me, had a differing opinion from their opinion. They might have felt self-righteous because they didn’t use profanity, but their delivery still stung.

Reading several of these was enough for me. I don’t expect, or even want, everyone to agree with me, or each other. That’s when you have a good debate and a post getting the kind of traction this one did because so many have varying opinions on controversial topics. But what I did expect was a Christian attitude of civility and respect with those who have a different perspective and opinion.

We all, myself included, need to remember those filled with the Holy Spirit should display the fruit of the Spirit:

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23

[Tweet “The Bible warns us that we’re in the world, but we’re not to take on the characteristics of the world.”]

The Bible warns us that we’re in the world, but we’re not to take on the characteristics of the world. I wonder how many of you have experienced what I’m talking about? It’s dangerous when you can’t differentiate God’s people from the rest of the world.

Don’t get me wrong, all the comments weren’t uncivil, many were thoughtful and well-spoken. But it was easy to tell who was speaking from a heart full of love and grace and who was speaking from pride and ego. It saddened me to see how close believers can sound like the world.

[Tweet “It’s a dangerous slippery slope when we forget who we are in Christ.”]

It’s a dangerous slippery slope when we forget who we are in Christ.

The world is watching, and when they can’t see any difference between them and us, we’re losing the battle of maintaining civility.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

3 Because of the privilege and authority[c] God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Romans 12:2-3 NLT

What say you? Do you know what I’m talking about here? Have you experienced it?

If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

Photo by Jonathan Velasquez on Unsplash

July 9, 2018
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What to Do When You Don’t Like Your Life Season

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What Do You Do When You Don't Like Your Life Season? Cry yell scream get depressed? None of those things are going to change things. God tells us in Ecc. 3:1-8 that there's a time for every good and difficult season under heaven but read and discover how God and mentoriing can help you survive this season!

We’ve all heard it said, “There’s a time for everything.” Or “You’re just in a season, it will pass.” In fact, it’s Scriptural—

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.”—Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The good and pleasant seasons sound wonderful and just what God wants for us, right? It’s so easy to think that God couldn’t possibly want what we perceive as a bad or unpleasant season for us. And yet this Scripture passage tells us that God made both, and while we’re alive, we’re going to experience every season—the good and the bad—under heaven.

Pastor Rick Warren often says that life is like a roller coaster: if you’re going up and experiencing a good season, brace yourself because in about three weeks you’ll probably find yourself going down into an unpleasant season, screaming all the way!

We try so hard to hold onto those feel-good seasons, and there’s nothing wrong with that—we should have times of joy, dancing, laughing, loving, and peace. But when the not so good times roll, we need to remember that God has not left us. He’s walking right beside us through the mourning, weeping, uprooting, and war seasons, and that’s when a mentor is so helpful to remind us that she made it through her tough seasons and we will too.

[Tweet “A mentor is helpful to remind us that she made it through her tough seasons and we will too”]

The focus of my book Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture has Forgotten is for us to remember how good God has been in all the seasons of our life. God never abandons His children. This is a message we need to share with each other and with the culture, especially during these challenging times we live in today.

Reasons for Not Liking our Life Season

Usually we don’t like our life season because:

It’s painful or uncomfortable.

We’re jealous and like what someone else’s life looks like more than our own life.

We’re living with the consequences of our, or someone else’s, behavior or decisions.

We’re discontent or discouraged.

We’re not sure if God still cares about us.

What would you add to the list?

We all have difficult seasons we want to end. Or maybe we’re in a wonderful season that we never want to end. Many life seasons we have no control over, even though advertisers and the culture would try to make you believe differently. They set us up to fail either way by thinking if we just drink the right cola, take the right pill, own the right car, use the right cosmetics and anti-aging products, eat the right food, reach success . . . every season of our life will be heavenly. The aging clock is going to stop and somehow God made our life to be different from everyone else’s life.

But that’s a lie and those who buy into it will never be content because everything God lists in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 is a season that everyone will experience.

What to Do When We Don’t Like Our  Life Season

We probably feel like crying, screaming, maybe yelling, getting depressed, ignoring, or trying to get out of it. If we’re honest, we’ve all been there.

[Tweet “The only thing that works when we don’t like our life season is to ask God how He wants us to deal with it”]

But soon we realize that the only thing that works when we don’t like our life season is to ask God how He wants us to deal with it, and then listen carefully to how the Holy Spirit speaks to us. It’s that still small voice we hear guiding us when we cry out to God. We might not know how to get through the season, but God does. So often He’s talking, but we’re not listening.

Someone on a friend’s Facebook post asked how my Christian friend knew what God wanted. Did he have a direct line to God? I thought, Yes he does! Every Christian has a direct line to God the world doesn’t understand, and one we don’t use nearly enough: praying to Jesus who hears every word and the Holy Spirit who intercedes for us even when all we can do is groan.

For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus. 1 Timothy 2:5

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

While writing this post, I met a woman whose husband has cancer. As she shared her story, I heard in my mind hug her and pray for her. Mind you, we had just met, and I had already told her I would be praying for her husband and their family since I understood having had breast cancer three times. But as she kept talking, I knew I was to pray for her now. So I said, “Let me pray for you,” and stepped forward to hug her; but she didn’t realize that I meant right then. I knew God meant right then! She needed it and she was so grateful.

I had tried to talk myself out of it, and how many times is God trying to tell us what to do “right then,” but we’re dismissing His words of wisdom to see us through this season and on into the next one. That’s when a mentor can step in and do just what I was able to do for this woman, even though we barely knew each other. Can you imagine how much comfort can come from two women who have a personal mentoring relationship?!

[Tweet “Can you imagine how much comfort can come from two women who have a mentoring relationship?!”]

God doesn’t want us going through any season alone, but He also doesn’t want us listening to anyone who isn’t giving us biblical wisdom. That’s why in Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, every season has Scripture to study together that applies to the various issues women might experience in that season.

[Tweet “Being a mentor doesn’t mean you have all the answers or have the Bible memorized. “]

Being a mentor, or a mentee reaching out to another woman for guidance, doesn’t mean the mentor has all the answers or the Bible memorized. It just means she’s willing to search God’s Word and pray together for Him to tell you both what to do in the life seasons you might not like right now; and then, you both reach out and help someone else going through something similar.

And that’s exactly what Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us we need to do when we’re going through a life season we don’t like!

What to Do When You Don't Like Your Life Season? Find a mentor who has experienced it already and let her support and encourage you. Read some helpful tips on how to survive those unpleasant life seasons.

Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness is available now for order or Kindle or signed by the author.

Author Bio

Janet Thompson is an international speaker, freelance editor, and award-winning author of 19 books. Her latest release is Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness.

She is also the author of Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten; The Team That Jesus Built; Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?; Dear God They Say It’s Cancer; Dear God, He’s Home!; Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter; Face-to-Face Bible study Series; and Woman to Woman Mentoring: How to Start, Grow, & Maintain a Mentoring Ministry Resources.

She is the founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring and About His Work Ministries.

Visit Janet and sign up for her Monday Morning blog and online newsletter at womantowomanmentoring.com

www.facebook.com/Janetthompson.authorspeaker

http://www.linkedin.com/in/womantowomanmentoring/

www.pinterest.com/thompsonjanet

https://twitter.com/AHWministries

August 7, 2017
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Love Your Body—Be Brave!

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Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

I’m back! Did you miss me? For the first time since starting the Monday Morning Blog when I launched my website January 2013, I took a three-month sabbatical to finish writing my latest book, Mentoring for All Seasons: Women Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness. Those who have followed my blog, know that in the past I’ve blogged right through writing books or invited guest bloggers—which by the way still requires me to edit and post, so there’s work and time involved. But this new book had a very short writing window and I had lots of travel and some health issues requiring medication, so I decided to love my body and prioritize my energy and time limits. Not that I don’t love writing to all of you, and it was anticlimactic every Monday morning not reading your comments, but I knew you would understand.

I’m Writing a New Book and I Need Your Stories!

Mentoring for All Seasons is in the editing process now, and thanks to many of you, there are amazing stories from both mentors and mentees from every season of life from tweens to aging! I know this book will bless you and it will be available fall 2017. I’ll keep you posted as the publishing process progresses.

Looking at the calendar and seeing that this is the last Monday of the month—where did September go—I realized I would be starting up the blog again with Love Your Body Monday! I knew then the Lord wanted me to share with you a post I had planned on writing later . . . but during my walk this morning, God said now was the time for two reasons:

[Tweet “I’m Writing a New Book and I Need Your Stories”]

  1. My next book—yes, you read right—God has put another book on my heart based on brave women of the Bible encouraging women of today to be brave. I’m NOW receiving stories of times God has asked or challenged you to be brave spiritually, physically, emotionally, or in any way. I would love to share your story in my next book, so contact me for more information.
  2. Elizabeth Vargas recently shared her testimony on TV and has a new book on being an alcoholic—last night hubby and I watched the 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer and Elizabeth Vargas that we had DVR’d, since it aired originally while I was still finishing my book.

I’ve always admired Elizabeth’s news anchor reporting and how confident she seemed. She’s articulate, classy, attractive and was doing well in a male-dominated profession. Several years ago, I was sad to hear her announce that drinking, mainly wine then, had gotten out of control and was interfering with her family and work, and she had sought help. I was surprised, but applauded her acknowledging her addiction. I had no idea that her battle with all alcohol had continued until in her own words: “I was nearly fired from my job. My husband left me while I was in rehab, I hurt my kids tremendously, and I nearly lost my life.”

[Tweet “Alcohol destroys families, marriages, leads to death and tragedies, and is a disastrous role model for children and grandchildren”]

If you follow my blog or Facebook, you know my thoughts on drinking alcohol. It’s a recreational drug, and in my backsliding years I drank so I know exactly what alcohol does. It destroys families, marriages, leads to death, health issues, and tragedies, misbehavior, loss of inhibitions, and is a disastrous role model for children and grandchildren—and yet alcohol lines the shelves of family grocery stores and is in many home pantries or out in plain view on kitchen counters and wine racks.

[Tweet “most “moderate drinkers” are in denial”]

And just like Elizabeth Vargas, most “moderate drinkers” are in denial and justify their drinking as: being able to handle it, not hurting anyone, takes the edge off, relaxes me, only drink socially, like the taste, everyone drinks a little . . . even my friends from church . . . until as Elizabeth found, “I drank moderately for 20 years. It wasn’t until my 40s that I fell off a cliff.”

In an interview with Elizabeth, Dorri Olds wrote in 20/20 Anchor Elizabeth Vargas Talks to The Fix About Anxiety, Alcoholism, and Recovery: “When Diane Sawyer and Vargas did research for their recent 20/20 special, they learned that 63 percent of female alcoholics suffer anxiety. Being postpartum or perimenopausal puts you at even higher risk for self-medicating with alcohol. And women with anxiety issues are twice as likely to relapse.”

Is that you or someone you know? Postpartum? Perimenopausal, or menopausal? Anxious? Worried? Overwhelmed? Do you or they have a glass or two or three every night that started out after the kids were in bed, but now starts while fixing dinner or early afternoon . . . or after the kids leave for school? Are you or they hiding how much you/they drink? Do you/they drink and then drive . . . with children in the car? If yes to any of these or similar questions, you/they need help.

[Tweet “trigger points to drinking such as tired, angry, lonely, hungry “]

In the 20/20 interview, Diane Sawyer listed trigger points to drinking such as tired, angry, lonely, hungry . . . and Elizabeth says hers is anger. Diane asked what she does now, and Elizabeth said she picks up the phone and calls someone. A mentor would be so helpful. A brave step.

What Should a Christian Do?

Here’s where many of you will disagree with me, and that’s certainly your freedom . . . a word tossed around a lot lately . . . but it’s also my freedom to say my opinion. Elizabeth Vargas cannot be around alcohol anywhere; she lives one sober day at a time. How many women in your sphere of influence might be in that same situation and you don’t know it? I’m saddened when I hear of Church moms, women’s, Bible study, or small groups going out for “drinks” or having wine and alcohol when they get together in the name of the Lord. How many “Elizabeths” might be among you who are too embarrassed to get up and leave, and you’ve just contributed to their temptation and possible downfall . . . you’ve caused them to stumble. Or maybe you’re the “Elizabeth.”

tell-time-generic

Is this really how you want to teach your kids to tell time?

I’ve seen this “How To Tell Time” sign tossed around Facebook with many women, including Christians, “liking” and laughing about it. Mommies who are responsible to help their children tell time . . . putting this sign up in their homes for impressionable kids to infer that the way to tell time is . . . you sit with a coffee cup and Bible in your hand in the morning and a wine glass and wine bottle in your hand at night. What kind of message does this send to your children? Or if Elizabeth Vargas walked into your home after “coffee time,” she would have to politely leave:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone [including your children, grandchildren, seekers,new believers, addicts, unbelievers] to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:31-33

Being Brave Often Requires Vulnerability

Elizabeth has written a memoir to help others who might see themselves in her story and get help before they lose everything like she almost did; she did lose allot including her marriage and time she can never recover being the mom she wanted to be to her children. Vargas said she would die for her sons. “I love them more than anything in the world. I would do anything for my children. But I couldn’t stop drinking for them.”

elizabeth-vargas

I chose to talk to you, my followers, today about Elizabeth Vargas’ story because of her vulnerability, not only in her book, Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction, but also in the 20/20 interview on National TV, which was an extremely brave act of courage. The woman we see in the interviews about her addiction and her new book is not the woman we all saw anchoring the news for years . . . even as far back as 911 and before!

On Amazon, the description of the book uses the word brave: “From the moment she uttered the brave and honest words, ‘I am an alcoholic,’ to interviewer George Stephanopoulos, Elizabeth Vargas began writing her story, as her experiences were still raw.”

The night before the interview with Olds, Elizabeth said, “I asked my son last night, ‘Why do you think I’m writing this book?’ He said, ‘Because you’re brave and want to help people.’ I hope people will be kind.”

As the 20/20 interview closes, Elizabeth said she has a “favorite saying” . . .

When you pray to God, there are three answers:

  1. Yes
  2. Not Now
  3. I have something better for you.

In another interview when asked what helps her stay sober, she said mediation and prayer. To Diane Sawyer she said, “When I lay in bed at the end of a good day, I say, ‘Thank you God for this day.’”

To read a blog I wrote Love Your Body—Don’t Drink Alcohol

For the full 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer and Elizabeth Vargas

To share your Brave story with me for my next book.

If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

It’s good to be back!

September 26, 2016
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A Miracle Story of Love, Family, and Restoration

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Ricky praising

Most Sunday mornings, Ricky was in the front row of church, sitting next to his parents Jean and Don. Often Ricky would accompany the worship team by playing the drums, strategically placed for him next to his front-row seat. I’m told that at one time, he joined the praise band on stage.

Ricky and drums

When Dave and I moved to Garden Valley and started attending Crouch Community Church, we didn’t know the history of the Brown family. We did, however, immediately see the love this senior couple had for each other—always holding hands—and for their adult son, Ricky, who occasionally had to have his drumsticks quieted after the music had stopped playing.

You see Ricky was a very special son, and as the church overflowed with family and friends at Ricky’s memorial last week, we learned more about just how special he was. If you have a special person in your life who can’t communicate clearly, or at all, there’s probably a depth of spirit like Ricky displayed in unique ways. God has a way of gifting these special people with love, compassion, and spiritual insight.

[Tweet “If you have a special person in your life who can’t communicate clearly, or at all, there’s probably a depth of spirit”]

Enjoy Ricky’s miracle story, shared at his memorial service, and his family now shares with you:

 

Ricky Lee Brown born August 28, 1956, passed from the arms of his parents to the arms of Jesus on Saturday March 19, 2016, at the age of 59. Ricky left behind . . . for now . . . his parents, Don and Jean Brown, his sisters Sheri, Cindy, and Lindi, and countless family and friends.

Ricky’s life story is one of restoration, the strong bond of a loving family, and the unending miracles of God.

[Tweet “A miracle story of restoration, the strong bond of family, and the unending miracles of God.”]

Ricky is the firstborn, and only son, of Don and Jean Brown. At birth, he only weighed 4 lbs. 10 oz., and it took a month for him to gain enough weight to come home from the hospital. This was the beginning of nine and a half months in and out of hospitals.

During that time, doctors and family members suggested putting Ricky in Nampa State School. Doctors said with Ricky’s health and physical issues, he wouldn’t live past eleven or twelve and would never walk. With the overwhelming advice from doctors and family, Don and Jean went through the court system and made Ricky a ward of the state when he was 8 1/2 months old. It was the most painful thing that Don and Jean had ever done.

They visited Ricky regularly and introduced him to his three sisters Sheri, Cindy, and Lindi. Right from the beginning, Ricky was compassionate. Jean remembers one time when he was in the state home, a baby started to cry. Ricky pulled himself with his arms over to the crib and patted the baby, trying to comfort it.

To everyone’s amazement, Ricky miraculously started walking at age eleven—the age doctors had predicted he wouldn’t live past—and he finally stopped running a persistent high fever. His sister, Cindy, started working at the Nampa State School in her late teens so she could spend more time with Ricky.

In his twenties, the family moved Ricky to a group home in the Boise area as part of a new program to try to teach life and work skills to disabled individuals. After Ricky’s three sisters left home, the Browns were able to visit Ricky more frequently.

Ricky loved classic country music and liked listening to it loud!

He also loved to tear apart anything he could get his hands on—radios, bikes, and in later years, his clothes. He loved to gas up the car, even if it was only to top it off.

[Tweet “Ricky could only put five words together, at most, but he used those words “]

Ricky could only put five words together, at most, but he used those words to ask people: if they were going to work? If they had a payday? And if they were going to church? Ricky’s happy smile and his thumbs up were his trademarks!

smiling RickyRicky thumbs up

Another Miracle

When Ricky was thirty-seven, he became extremely ill while still living in the group home, so Don and Jean made the decision to bring him home. Doctors told the Browns they would just be taking him home to die, but they said, “So be it. He’s our son, and we want him with us.”

By the grace of God and the help of family, they discovered that the current health problems were yeast related. Jean found a book on how to treat yeast with diet, and she became vigilant with Ricky’s diet and nursed him back to health. This same son, who doctors said would not live past eleven or twelve, would never walk, and was sent home at thirty-seven to die, fully recovered from the “terminal” illness! That’s what God, love, and family can do!

Don and Jean couldn’t bear the thought of giving Ricky up again, so he continued to live with them and they started the parenting season all over again. The Lord redeemed the years they lost while Ricky was in group homes, and they had twenty-three glorious years living together as family.

Ricky and sisters

Ricky’s relationship with his sisters and other family members flourished as he became a part of family reunions, jam sessions, weddings, and birthday parties. As a trio, Don, Jean, and Ricky traveled the country playing music and enjoying countless adventures. One of Ricky’s greatest loves was the drums. He had a set in his room and spent hours listening to music and playing along. He also spent hours tearing his drum set apart. He loved smashing cans and taking them to the recycling center for a “payday,” which he promptly put in the offering box at church.

Family picture

Ricky and Don on horse

 

Ricky and Don camping

As Ricky got older, he enjoyed putting together puzzles and sorting coins or Legos. Amazingly, he was able to put puzzles together picture-side down on the table. For someone doctors said wouldn’t live past eleven, and would surely die at thirty-seven, Ricky enjoyed a long life of almost 60 years surrounded by his loving family, friends, and community.

[Tweet ” For someone doctors said wouldn’t live past eleven and would surely die at thirty-seven,”]

Ricky touched many lives with his joyful spirit and his love for Jesus. Just as Jesus said in Matthew 18:3, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,” Ricky was a great example of childlike innocent faith. We know that right now he is enthusiastically enjoying heaven.

*********

The Brown family hopes that Ricky’s miracle story has been a blessing to you, and especially an encouragement to all who have a “Ricky” in their life. If you have a story to share with the Browns, or want to tell them how their sweet restoration story touched you, please leave a comment to encourage them and pray for them as they grieve the loss of their beloved son.

If you received this blog by email, you can comment here.

April 4, 2016
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Someone You Know Has Breast Cancer

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Blanket made for me by my daughter-in-law and grandkids for first recurrence.

Blanket made for me by my daughter-in-law and grandkids for first recurrence.

“I’m sorry…but you do have breast cancer.”

Those shocking words crackling through my cell phone rocked my world thirteen years ago. I was running errands…trying to outrun suspected bad news. After the doctor’s parting words, “You’ll be fine,” I fired up the car engine and started driving and dialing. The first person I called, after I told my husband, was my best friend, but she couldn’t comprehend the diagnosis. “A positive biopsy doesn’t mean it’s malignant, does it?” she asked.

[Tweet “It’s hard to know what to say or do when a friend or relative drops the bombshell news that she has breast cancer. “]

It’s hard to know what to say or do when a friend or relative drops the bombshell news that she has breast cancer. Often our natural response is to recoil and retreat. Maybe it’s the fear of facing our own mortality or the time and emotion required if we do get involved. We ease our conscience by thinking: she would rather be alone right now anyway. Or she needs her family at a time like this. Or she has so many friends; I know someone will help her.

We may send a card or make a call offering to help, closing with “I’ll be praying for you,” then on we go about our life while her life crumbles. Yet the Bible clearly tells us to, “Help each other in troubles and problems. This is the kind of law Christ asks us to obey” (Galatians 6:2 NLV).

How can we put that verse into practical terms? What does it truly mean to help each other in troubles and problems? Perhaps you can glean some ideas from the ways my friends and family came along side me during my initial breast cancer journey and two recurrences.

[Tweet “October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I pray that God will make you aware of the women around you with breast cancer”]

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I pray that God will make you aware of the women around you with breast cancer and that you’re getting regular exams yourself!

Helping with the Bad Days

[Tweet “Don’t Just Offer to Help—Do Something Tangible”]

Don’t Just Offer to Help—Do Something Tangible

Most of us find it difficult to receive help; we’re hesitant to impose on others. When asked the generic question, “How can I help you?” our common response is, “I’m fine, but thank you for asking.” Truthfully, we need everything, but we don’t know if the person is offering to mop our floors or pick up our kids from school—both of which we need, but are afraid to ask.

Another well-meaning comment I received was, “Just call me if you need anything.” Now how many women are going to pick up the phone and ask for help, especially if they are not feeling well? Again, we don’t know what the person is willing to do for us, and we don’t want to be a burden.

So instead of offering to help—just jump in and do something. If you know your friend well, you know where she needs help; and even if you don’t know her well, you know where all women need help. If she is in the midst of cancer treatment, she is going to need assistance with every area of her life, especially if she is single. Here are some practical ideas:

  1. Schedule her friends, family, and church to bring meals. Use your lunch break to take her lunch and eat with her.
  2. Offer to drive her to doctor’s appointments or treatments and take notes for her.
  3. Shuttle her kids to and from school or find someone who can.
  4. Sit with her during chemo treatments or accompany her to radiation. Talk, read a book to her, or just hold her hand.
  5. Take her children on a play date or to your house.
  6. Do her laundry.
  7. Do her grocery shopping. If she is too sick to dictate a list, take an inventory of her refrigerator and cupboards and make your own list.
  8. Answer her email.
  9. Bring her a gift that makes her feel feminine.
  10. If she feels like talking, sit and chat with her. When she doesn’t feel like talking, just be a presence in her home so she doesn’t feel alone.
  11. Babysit her kids so she and her husband can have some private time.
  12. Clean her house or pay someone to do it.
  13. Go with her to pick out a wig or prosthesis.
  14. Pick up prescriptions.
  15. Run errands.

[Tweet “Don’t Say, “I’ll Pray For You,” Unless You Mean It”]

Don’t Say, “I’ll Pray For You,” Unless You Mean It

At church a couple came up to greet my husband and me and asked if they could pray for us. That meant so much to me as we wrapped our arms around each other, and there on the church patio, this precious couple prayed for my recovery and Dave’s strength for the journey. When we finished, the wife asked where we needed help. I hesitated because I knew this woman didn’t like to cook, but Dave quickly interjected, “We could use a meal.” She didn’t flinch. She said they would be over the next night with dinner, and they were…and they prayed for us again.

“I’ll pray for you” is said too often with the casualness of “Have a nice day.” But a promise to pray isn’t just a feel good phrase. We are telling someone that we will petition God on her behalf, and we are living falsely if we don’t. I find it’s best to stop in the moment and pray right then. It keeps me honest and blesses the other person.

Helping to Enjoy the Good Days

[Tweet “Be happy with your friend with breast cancer when she’s happy”]

Be Happy with Her When She’s Happy

Cancer is a grim word. Overnight life becomes serious, tense, and laden with fear. There is very little laughter during those first shocking days following the “dreaded diagnosis.” But life continues and there are going to be good days interspersed with the bad. An insightful friend will capitalize on the moments of reprieve when there is an opportunity to laugh or smile. Be ready, because it may only last a moment, but the break from pain and fear is immeasurable.

If your friend is having an especially good day, avoid topics that you know will bring her down. You aren’t minimizing or making light of the seriousness of the situation, but you are giving her a recess from the intensity. Don’t fake happiness, but take advantage of humorous or lighter moments. Smile. Laugh. Be happy. Don’t let the serious eclipse the humorous.

I remember laughing at myself one day in the shower when I realized that I was so carefully not shaving under my left arm because of the lymph node surgery, that I also wasn’t shaving my left leg. I frequently retold that story so people could laugh with me.

[Tweet “Nurture a breast cancer survivor’s need to feel like a little girl again”]

Nurture the Little Girl Inside Her

When I was in the hospital, the nurse in charge of the breast-care unit gave me a white stuffed toy sheep named “Fleece.” Taking Fleece with me everywhere, I held him as a shield in front of my sore breast, tucked him under my arm as an armrest, and snuggled next to him in bed. For six months, I indulged my childish need for security and no one chastised me for it. In fact, they acted like it was normal. And I discovered when I was writing my book, Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer, that it was normal! One woman who shared her story in the book had a black stuffed sheep named “Lamby” that she cuddled in her hospital bed. Another received a baby-sized pillow, and she recalls, “That pillow became a part of my wardrobe for eighteen months.”

stuffed sheet

Comfort and Security Gifts

  • A stuffed animal, pillow, or quilt.
  • A favorite food.
  • A game she loves to play and play it with her.
  • A movie she loved as a kid and watch it with her.
  • A surprise reunion with childhood friends.
  • A tea party.
  • A fun hat—even if she hasn’t lost her hair, she might not feel like fixing her hair.
  • A new nightgown that buttons down the front.
  • An ice cream cone.
  • A nightlight
  • A copy of  Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer a Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey signed by me to her. Many women tell me it’s as if I’m walking right beside them.

[Tweet “Shower with love a woman with breast cancer”]

Shower Her with Love

Kay Warren shared with me about her breast cancer experience, “I don’t know how we would have gotten through this difficult time without the outpouring of love and support from so many. I have not felt alone at all…which is such an amazing gift!” And that it is…love is the best gift you can give to your friend suffering with breast cancer. Don’t desert her when she needs you most. Right now, she requires extravagant love, and God will help you when your heart is breaking or it just seems too sad or too hard. John 13:34 tells us to love one another just as God has loved us. God is the author of love and He knows just what your friend needs, and He will show you how to love her when she is feeling unlovable.

Surprise her. What woman doesn’t love an unexpected gift or demonstration of how valuable she is to us? We were in the midst of a messy kitchen remodel when breast cancer assaulted me. Everything in my life seemed out of control. But I felt so loved the day I returned home after the painful needle biopsy and spotted amongst the rubble—gift bags full of treats with balloons attached and a card from two girlfriends assuring me they had been praying during the ordeal.

Ideas For Showering Your Breast Cancer Friend With Love

  • A Spa day at a salon, which treats women with breast cancer.
  • If she wears a hat or scarf, wear one too.
  • Tell her how much you love her and what a great friend she is.
  • Stick with her even when the treatment lingers on. Her biggest fear is that others will not endure the journey.
  • Include her in as many activities as she feels up to.
  • Go to a breast-cancer support group with her.
  • Plan a girls’ day or night out, when she feels up to it.
  • Sit and watch old movies with her—even if she falls asleep.
  • Do her makeup.
  • Pray for and with her.

The Bible assures us in Proverbs 17:17 that “A friend loves at all times.” What a privilege it is to put that verse into practice for your precious friend with breast cancer. You probably won’t be able to do everything I suggest and I hope you have ideas of your own, but as a three-time breast cancer survivor, I assure you there are three things that will endure through the good and the bad times—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

The Top Thirteen Things to Do or Say and NOT to Do or Say to Someone with Breast Cancer

Article includes excerpts from Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey.

Breast cancer book If you received this blog by email, leave a comment here.

October 5, 2015
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