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Love Your Body with a Healthy Happy Heart

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Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Today is Love Your Body Monday, the last Monday of the month. This weekend ushers in February so I want to share with you a post about heart health since February is National Heart Disease Awareness Month.

[Tweet “Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women.”]

You may be unaware that heart disease, not cancer, is the leading cause of death for women. Many of you know that I am a three-time breast cancer survivor, and I’m happy to say that I do have a very healthy heart, which I attribute to healthy eating and exercise. But my dear friend Grace Marestaing, who mentored me through breast cancer and to whom I dedicate my book Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide to Women on the Breast Cancer Journey, died in her sleep from Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) after surviving a double mastectomy and chemotherapy. Grace had no idea she had CHF.

[Tweet “Pamela Christian is a woman who miraculously survived sudden cardiac arrest “]

Pamela Christian was only in her 40’s when she miraculously survived sudden cardiac arrest and now devotes her life to increasing awareness to save physical and spiritual lives.

Pamela was working in ministry for over ten years when she literally died before defibrillation revived her. When she speaks about heart disease, Pamela asks her audiences, “What do faith and life insurance have in common?” Then she explains, “Both need to be fully in place before there’s a crisis.” From her own experience, she works to help people grasp the fragility of human life and the reality of life hereafter.

Pamela answers some questions about her near-death experience:

Pamela, you’ve been in ministry for over 20 years, but something happened in your life that greatly intensified your ministry work, tell us about that.

Yes, that “something” was a sudden cardiac arrest. I got up like any other morning, only that day I had the chance to play tennis with three women I’d not played with before. I thought the symptoms were simply a bad case of nerves. However, over the course of about twenty minutes, as my symptoms worsened, it became apparent it was much more than nerves.

You actually died. If it weren’t for the quick response to the 9-1-1- call and the Emergency Medical Professionals who witnessed your sudden cardiac arrest progression, ultimately defibrillating you, you wouldn’t be here today.

[Tweet “I was flat-lined for about one full minute”]

That’s exactly right. They documented that my heart completely stopped. I was flat-lined for about one full minute or more and during that time, my soul and spirit entered a different dimension, one that I can’t possibly describe because there are no human words to express the glorious, euphoric dimension. I can only refer to it as the threshold of heaven. I knew I was in the center of God’s sovereign care. I had no sense of any external limits, just that I was in the very center.

There was a white light off in the distance, but it didn’t beckon me. It was incredibly peaceful—again no adequate words to describe the feeling. I was aware that I was a wife and mother and not on earth or with my family, but I knew they were also in God’s sovereign care. So when the paramedics zapped me with the defibrillators, and I could sense being drawn back to my body, I felt agitated that anyone would disturb me. I didn’t want to leave that experience.

You’ve since expanded your ministry to include a heart-disease awareness effort. I love the name “Bless Your Heart.” Tell us a little more about that.

After my experience, I set out to learn more about cardiovascular disease and I learned that it, not cancer, is the leading cause of death for women. Next month is February, national heart-disease awareness month, so I’m grateful for this opportunity to share. Bless Your Heart is an awareness campaign with the slogan, “Helping Women Everywhere, Become Aware,” because with awareness we can save lives. I had no clue that my mild symptoms were the onset of sudden cardiac arrest. For most women, the symptoms are so mild that we dismiss them.

People need to know too, that sudden cardiac arrest is very different from a heart attack. Until recently, sudden cardiac arrest was sudden cardiac death—no one survived. Now with the increased accessibility of defibrillators, about 5% of witnessed victims who receive defibrillation survive.

You’ve written a power-packed E-book entitled Bless Your Heart, Your Health and Your Life – A Lifestyle Plan that Puts You in Charge. Briefly tell us about it.

Pamela Christians book

Learning that proper information, diet, and exercise, can prevent many deaths from cardiovascular disease, I had to make the information available. I’m happy to offer a PDF version of my booklet to one of your readers today. It’s available on Kindle and through my website store.

With your near-death experience, most people would slow down, but you’ve increased your ministry work. Why is that?

[Tweet “When the day comes that we die, our soul and spirit will live on somewhere else.”]

I know that God created humans with a temporal body, eternal soul, and spirit. When the day comes that we die, our soul and spirit will live on somewhere else. I’ve studied the major world religions and New Age, and I’m confident that the Bible and the Christian faith provide the only reasonable explanation for our existence. Sadly, Christian faith in America is on a steady decline as people succumb to the lie that truth is relative and all roads lead to the same God and heaven.

[Tweet “Having tasted the reality of heaven, I must spend my time helping others discover the only legitimate Truth”]

Having tasted the reality of heaven, I must spend my time helping others discover the only legitimate Truth—only belief in Jesus Christ leads to heaven. That’s why I wrote my first two books in my Faith to Live By book series, Examine Your Faith! Finding Truth in a World of Lies endorsed by Josh McDowell, and released late 2014, and Renew Your Hope! Remedy for Personal Breakthroughs, endorsed by Dr. Charles H. Kraft and others.

The reviews have been exceedingly gratifying. It’s available at all major retailers and on my web site pamelachristianministries.com. My desire is to help many more people discover and live in life-giving truth and it’s eternal hope.

No one wants to live his or her life based on a lie. But, unless we intentionally examine what we believe and why we believe it, we could very easily be deceived and not know it. Unless our hope is firmly rooted in truth, we are without hope.

Since the human soul and spirit are eternal, and what we believe in this life determines our destiny, shouldn’t the single most important quest in life be discovering the Truth?

Thank you Pam for all you do and for sharing your heart with us today.

Warning Signs of Cardiovascular Disease

All women need to be aware of the warning signs of cardiovascular disease and learn how to help save lives. Visit Pamela’s Bless Your Heart Campaign website.

Pamela’s print books are available at all major retailers.

You can hear her amazing story at blessyourheartcampaign.com.

Win a Free Book

Pamela is offering a free PDF version of her booklet Bless Your Heart, Your Health and Your Life – A Lifestyle Plan that Puts You in Charge to one of you!

If you’re reading this blog online, click on the “leave a comment” silver circle on the right at the end of this blog and a comment box will appear for you to leave your comment.

If you have received this blog via email, click here to the online blog post. Scroll to the end of the post to the “leave a comment” silver circle on the right and a comment box appears for you to leave your comment.

Pamela Christian

For over twenty years, Pamela Christian has been helping people in matters of faith. Ministry for Pam began as Teaching Director for Community Bible study, followed by speaking at retreats and conferences where invited, coast to coast. Expanding her ministry included hosting live Christian talk-radio in two major markets and work in commercial television. With a certificate in apologetics from Biola University, membership with the International Society of Women in Apologetics and Christian Women in Media, all of Pam’s work is to compassionately help people discover and live in the same life-giving truth that she has been blessed to find. Her fervent interests are faith, family, friends and food, so it is not unusual to find her dotingly planning gatherings and cooking to bring all her passions together. She and her husband live in Orange County, CA, with their two grown children and families living nearby.

January 26, 2015
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How To Survive Feeling Overwhelmed

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It’s only the third week of the New Year, but maybe you’re like me and feeling a little overwhelmed with all you let go during the holidays. Some of you may still have your Christmas decorations up–we have our outside lights up still because I love them so much, and we’re still eating off of our snowman Christmas dishes. Those things don’t bother me, but a looming book deadline and preparing for speaking at a retreat in Nebraska at the end of this month, along with family and ministry obligations, now that can give me a few over-the-edge moments. So I was delighted when Dianne Barker offered to give us all a few tips on surviving what she calls, “Overwhelm City.”

Also, if you’re receiving this blog via email and would like to leave a comment on the website blog, just click here and it will take you to the online blog post. Then scroll down to the bottom of the post and you’ll see a silver circle on the right that says “leave a comment”. Click on the circle and a comment box will appear for you to write your comment.

If you’re reading this blog at the website, scroll down to the bottom of the post, click on the silver circle on the right that says “leave a comment” and the comment box will appear.

Dianne and I would both like to hear how you survive Overwhelm City.

Survival Kit for Overwhelm City

By Dianne Barker

 mother with everyone pulling at her

Yikes! Where am I? Did I misread the map? Overlook the road sign? Experience total GPS failure?

Oh, now I recognize the neighborhood. I’ve spent time here before—Overwhelm City—the home of over-commitment and complicated circumstances.

The only fix for over-commitment is saying “no.” A hard choice—but a choice.

[Tweet “The only fix for over-commitment is saying “no.””]

There’s no easy fix for beyond-our-control, complicated circumstances: crumbling marriages, prodigal children, career adjustments, financial difficulties, relationship issues, care-giving responsibilities, health concerns, assorted calamities, grief, terrorism, and fear. . . just to name a few.

[Tweet “I’ve begun to feel at home in Overwhelm City among the desperate who are crying”]

I’ve begun to feel at home in Overwhelm City among the desperate who are crying,

“Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck…the flood sweeps over me” (Psalm 69:1-2 ESV).

Although my husband and I have been caring for people we love during our forty-nine year marriage—several relatives and even a few friends who were close as family—I wasn’t prepared for an extended stay in Overwhelm City.

After leaving a successful journalism career to be a stay-at-home mom, I continued writing. My 1986 book Twice Pardoned was a number-one national Christian best-seller. The ink had barely dried when God led me from my public life as an author and speaker to a secluded life—caring for our parents as their health declined. I spent the next fifteen years in Overwhelm City, struggling to keep my head above water.

Doing the “gottas”

Routine housework wasn’t at the bottom of the list…it didn’t make the list. I did the gottas: wash dishes, make beds, clean bathrooms. My priorities were driving our parents to medical appointments, grocery shopping, cooking, and doing laundry for our three families. One week I made three trips to the coin laundry, due to plumbing problems at home, and washed a total thirty-two loads. Attending school functions involving our children and attending church completed my schedule.

Unexpected Ministry

Gradually, God eliminated every non-essential activity, shrinking my life to basics. My “shrunken life,” though limited in scope, was still significant. That season provided an opportunity to return to our parents some of the loving devotion they had showered on us. It was a fruitful time of growing closer to the Lord, immersing in His Word, and learning to depend on Him for every step and breath.

During this time, He gave me an unexpected ministry—mentoring young women He sent to my door seeking marriage and parenting advice. I shared principles the Lord was teaching me and promises I’d memorized from Scripture. As the women continued coming, I created a makeshift memorization booklet, which I later published: Walking in Victory—a Two-Year Scripture Memorization Plan. Fruit in the desert!

An Amazing Gift

During that complicated period, the Lord also gave me an amazing gift:

  • Peace that I was where He wanted me.
  • Purpose, doing what He designed.
  • Promise that someday He would expand my life again.

 

God always keeps His promises, and He never wastes an experience. He’s begun expanding my life. Besides providing opportunities to speak and publish, He surprised me with a weekly program on the Christian radio station WHCB, Bristol, Tennessee.

[Tweet “A life submersed in Christ is a better term for my “shrunken life.””]

A life submersed in Christ is a better term for my “shrunken life.” When my journey detours to Overwhelm City, I can be sure He has a purpose.

[Tweet “Survival kit for Overwhelm City”]

Survival Kit for Overwhelm City

If this fresh New Year finds you at the outskirts of Overwhelm City, a few tools from my Survival Kit will help you make the most of the experience and sweeten the stay.

  • Simplify life. Eliminate non-essentials. “He has told you. O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).
  • Draw near to Jesus. He said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
  • Accept that you are here by God’s design. “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10).
  • Believe God has a purpose. We don’t have to see it to believe it. If nothing else, He’s developing endurance. “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised” (Hebrews 10:36).
  • Keep a teachable heart. Ask: Lord, what do you want me to learn? “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8).
  • Encourage yourself with truth. “Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you” (Jeremiah 32:17).
  • Rejoice. If I rejoice today, I rejoice in these circumstances. “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances…” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

[Tweet “Overwhelm City is a sweet community of broken people.”]

Overwhelm City is a sweet community of broken people. Didn’t I just see you moving in next door? Come on over. I can’t wait to hear your story!

DianneBarker 2012

 

Dianne Barker is a conference speaker, freelance journalist, radio host, and author. This post is adapted from I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life, which won the Christian Authors Network Golden Scrolls 2014 third-place award for non-fiction book of the year (available at LifeWay Christian Stores, www.crossbooks.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.diannebarker.com.)

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January 19, 2015
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Effective Mentors Ask Questions

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two women mentoring

Kathy Collard Miller and her husband Larry Miller are the authors of a book I recently endorsed, Never Be The Same. I asked the Millers if they would share with you how some of the principles they discuss in their book could be applied to mentoring. I was delighted when I saw that they chose the topic of asking questions because that is the same advice and training I give to mentors. Instead of lecturing or trying to get the mentee to see things our way, questions can help the mentee arrive at her own conclusions. In my Bible study, Face-to-Face with Naomi and Ruth: Together for the Journey, Session Three, Day Four is on “Asking Questions.” This method works well for parents too.

Effective Mentors Ask Questions

by Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller

One of the many goals of mentoring is helping our mentee identify her motive for the choices she makes. All of us react, respond, and choose based on our desires and wants, or what we think will prevent emotional or physical pain. Helping our mentee to recognize motives is a challenge.

[Tweet “Be an effective mentor by asking questions.”]

We are lay-counselors, and as we help people make wise and godly choices, we’ve noticed that long-range change occurs with a heart transformation, not just mental assent. We have also been counseled and mentored, and appreciated the counselor or mentor who asked questions that helped us identify our motives and what we hoped to gain.

[Tweet “Mentees can choose a heart transformation.”]

Why We Wrote Never Ever Be the Same

[Tweet “Why We Wrote Never Ever Be the Same http://amzn.to/1ITmLfy @KathyCMiller”]

We wrote Never Ever Be the Same, to help people discover why they make the choices they do. Rather than encourage them to grit their teeth and vow to be better, we want them to have a deep spiritual change where they trust in God—not self-effort.

Asking Questions More than Giving Advice

[Tweet “Tweet: Ask questions rather than offer advice.”]

Asking questions rather than giving advice helps your mentee to get in touch with her motivations. If you only give advice, your mentee could depend upon you for her power rather than having a heart for God. It can be difficult to think of the questions to ask.

[Tweet “It’s difficult to think of questions to ask as we mentor.”]

Although we don’t provide a list of questions in our book, we do give examples of how we use questions with those we mentor.

Questions to Use While Mentoring

[Tweet “Here are some questions to use for mentoring. “]

Here are some questions we ask. These aren’t in any order, but use according to what the mentee is telling you. Then ask more questions based upon the mentee’s answers or response:

  1. What did the other person’s reaction seem to say about you?
  2. What if you didn’t keep doing that? What do you fear would happen?
  3. What is God inviting you into through allowing these circumstances?
  4. What would you like to say to that person who hurt you?
  5. Why do you believe that’s true when other people have told you it’s not?
  6. What were you hoping or longing for?
  7. What do you feel is lacking in your life?
  8. What does that choice provide for you?
  9. What were you saying about yourself during the time that hurtful thing happened?
  10. How does your behavior leave out God in your life?
  11. How does that behavior protect you from some kind of harm or pain?
  12. Everything is a choice. Why are you choosing that destructive behavior: to gain something or protect yourself from something?
  13. What does your choice say about who God is?
  14. What does your behavior or choice indicate is your belief about God, life, or other people?

Learning to use these questions may take time. Asking them may not bring instant change to your mentee. But the Holy Spirit can use the mentee’s new sense of self-awareness to reveal wrongly motivated thinking and choices. That kind of heart transformation will have long-range benefits.

Share a question that you have found useful in mentoring that the Holy Spirit used to bring a heart change in your mentee.

Leaving any comment here will include you in the drawing for a free copy of Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today by Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller.

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Kathy Collard Miller is the author of 50 books and an international speaker. Kathy and her husband, Larry, have been married 44 years and he is a retired police lieutenant who speaks and writes. Larry and Kathy often speak together. They live in Southern California, and have two grown children and one grandson. Visit them at www.LarryAndKathy.com and www.KathyCollardMiller.com.

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Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today (Leafwood Publishers) offers Christians hope that they can change their destructive patterns of behavior through identifying their sinful self-protective strategies and then being empowered to trust God instead. Their book includes biblical principles, insightful stories, and helpful instruction. It also provides discussion questions for individuals or groups.

Never Ever Be the Same is available at your local Christian bookstore and in both print and digital versions. Even though you may find Never Ever Be the Same can only be pre-ordered on some online bookstores, if you pre-order, your cost may be less when they mail it to you.

Amazon

Christianbook.com

Barnes and Noble

January 12, 2015
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Want a New Start in 2015?

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New Start 15 theme verse-1

 My friend and fellow author/speaker, Kathy Howard, is inviting you and me to join her in a search for holiness and a deeper walk with the Lord in 2015! In her guest blog today, she tells us more about New Start 15 and how to get involved. If you’re wondering why my Bible Studies are not listed on their Resource List, I’m writing fast and furious on a new book and wasn’t able to be a contributor for New 15, but I support it 100%. You can also consider starting 2015 with one of my Bible studies to do on your own, with a friend/M&M, or in a group.

New Start 15 by Kathy Howard

New Start 15 by Kathy Howard

I love the “undo” button on my laptop. You know the one – that little arrow that curves to the left. When you click it, the last thing you did magically disappears.

Sometimes I wish life had an “undo” button. I could click it to magically erase the unkind words I blurted. Or wipe out my selfish behavior. Or eliminate that wrong decision. To “undo” all those things that brought unwanted consequences or now weigh heavy on my conscience.

Yep. In fact, sometimes it would be great to start over all together. To get a clean slate. To get a complete do-over.

Guess what? If you’re a Christian, that’s exactly what you got when you entered into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. And sister, if things have gotten a bit off track since then, it’s not too late to undo and start new. In fact, now is a great time for a NEW START.

[Tweet “Need a do-over? It’s not too late. #NewStart15”]

New Start 15

If you’d like to “undo” a few things or even start new on a bigger scale, consider joining me for “New Start 15.” During January, a few friends and I will be leading a month-long journey into holiness. Together we’ll explore what it looks like to become a “new creation in Christ,” to practically live out the set-apart, holy life to which God calls us.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 2:17, NIV

The “old” life looks like the world around us. And it’s burdened with the weight and consequences of worldly living. But the “new” life is radically different from the world, holy and set apart to God.

There is glorious freedom and joy in living a life of holiness. Freedom from the weight and consequences of sin. And joy in a deeper intimacy with our holy God.

[Tweet “New life in Christ brings freedom & joy through a holy life. #NewStart15”]

Do you like the sound of freedom and joy? The chance for a New Start? Our God is the God of second chances, clean slates, and do-overs.

[Tweet “Our God is the God of second chances, clean slates & do-overs. #NewStart15 “]

 

Participation in New Start 15 is simple.

Here are a few ways you can get involved:

 

  • Use the New Start 15 Bible Reading Plan in your personal quite time January 5 – 23. (Free download)
  • Like the New Start 15 Facebook page to keep up with daily devotional blog posts, get words of encouragement, and share thoughts from your own journey. (You can also download the New Start 15 bloggers list and schedule.)
  • Follow the New Start 15 “blog hop” January 5-23 (weekdays only) as the New Start 15 team blogs about living the new, holy life in Christ. (List of New Start 15 Contributors)
  • Check out the New Start 15 Resources List for books, Bible studies, blog posts, printables and more to help you on your journey. (Free Download)
  • Invite your friends to join you in the New Start 15 journey by sending them the link to this post.

Do you long for deep intimacy with God? Do you desire for your life to please and glorify Him? Do you want your life to point others to Jesus? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then New Start 15 is for you! Join us in January as we dig into God’s Word to find out what He says about living the new, holy life in Christ.

 

Are you ready for a New Start? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments. Or simply let me know you’re in! Happy New Year!

Kathy Howard

Kathy Howard

 

 

 

January 5, 2015
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Parents of the Bible Mentor Today’s Parents

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Our guest post today is by friend and fellow The M.O.M. Initiative mentor mom, Lindsey Bell. Next week, I’ll be sharing how I set goals for the New Year for my personal, ministry, and married life. One of those goals is to read through the Bible in a year. I love to read in different translations or use different guides to change it up each year so I was eager to learn more about Lindsey’s new book and how parents of the Bible could mentor us today!

 

A Resource for Spending More Time with God in the New Year

Lindsey Bell

 

With a new year right around the corner, many of us are already thinking about our New Year’s Resolutions. One New Year’s Resolution that seems to be a favorite among Christians is to spend more time in the Word…to read the Bible every day, or pray more often, or go to church regularly.

I want to share with you today about a new resource that can help you spend more time with God.

[Tweet “I want to share with you today about a new resource that can help you spend more time with God.”]

It’s a book called Searching for Sanity: 52 Insights from the Parents of the Bible.

This year-long devotional is designed for busy women who want to spend time with the Lord, but don’t have a lot of time to spare.

[Tweet “This year-long devotional is designed for busy women who want to spend time with the Lord”]

Each week provides a new devotional, as well as simple activities to do throughout the week to help reinforce the application points.

Here’s a little bit more for moms about the book:

Have you ever looked at your beloved children and wondered, what in the world am I doing? Why did God trust me—of all people—to raise them?

[Tweet “Motherhood is the most difficult job many of us will ever take.”]

Motherhood is the most difficult job many of us will ever take. Searching for Sanity offers moms an opportunity to take a breath, dig into the Word, and learn from parents of the past.

In short devotions designed for busy moms, this book uses the parents of the Bible—both the good and the bad—to inspire today’s mothers.

You can read through this devotional alone or with a group of moms!

Let’s talk: what are your favorite resources to begin the year well?

[Tweet “Leave a comment for a chance to win six of @Lindsey’sBell’sbooks!”]

This post is part of Lindsey Bell’s December blog tour. To enter to win Lindsey’s MEGA-GIVEAWAY (the winner will receive 6 books!), leave a comment on any of Lindsey’s guest posts this month (including this one).

Enter to Win Lindsey Bell's Mega-Giveaway-1

For a full list of participating blogs (and other ways to enter!) visit this post on Lindsey’s blog.

You can pick up a copy of Searching for Sanity at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

 Lindsey Bell_web format-2

About Lindsey Bell:

Lindsey Bell is the author of Searching for Sanity: 52 Insights from the Parents of the Bible. She’s also a stay-at-home mother of two, minister’s wife, avid reader, and chocolate lover. You can find Lindsey online at any of the following locations:

Her blog: www.lindsey-bell.com

Her website: www.lindseymbell.com

Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindseyMBell

Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorLindseyBell

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/LindseyMBell01

December 22, 2014
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Expecting the Unexpected at Christmas

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Our guest post is from author/speaker Julie Sanders. Julie and I are Mentor Moms on The MOM Initiative team, and today Julie talks about the unexpected happenings that each Christmas brings to all of us, starting with Mary, the mother of Jesus. In my Bible study Face-to-Face with Elizabeth and Mary, I talk about how Elizabeth, who was expectant with John the Baptist, mentored Mary through those first three months after her visit from the angel Gabriel telling her she would be the mother of Jesus.

I also know how difficult this season can be for women with an expectation of being mothers this Christmas season. In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?, my daughter Kim describes the worse Christmas of her life when all three of her siblings had children and she was still struggling with infertility. She had plans and expectations of being a mother that Christmas, but her arms were empty. Little did she know that the New Year would bring her two babies within nine months!

If you’re going to be around friends or family who are struggling with infertility and worried you might say the wrong thing or don’t know what to say, the blog post I wrote during National Infertility week will help you: “Hug an Infertile Couple This Week.”

If you’re the infertile couple, dreading the holidays, the post 10 Ways to Survive the Holidays When You’re Infertile is for you.

“Mary” by Julie Sanders

Every heart is Expectant 400-1

Her betrothal was still fresh when her expectations dissolved in the light of the angel’s arrival. To be old enough to be promised was to be mature enough to bear a child. Before Mary even had time to adjust to changes in her own body or warm up to the name “Joseph,” everything she anticipated fell away. There would be no joyous gathering of girlhood friends, envious of her new status. None of the other girls wanted to swell with a child before uniting with a husband.

[Tweet “When what we expect falls apart, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. “]

When what we expect falls apart, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. At the first sign of a change, Mary was troubled and frightened. She had questions. Before she had time to learn the physical ways of womanhood or enjoy intimacy with a man, her body would be taken over for purposes bigger than she could conceive.

“And the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. ‘”(Luke 1:30)

No experience has the power to stir a woman’s hopes like that of becoming a mother. Whether she enters in through adoption, infertility, or traditional pregnancy, a mother learns to sacrifice her expectations for the gift of raising a child. Instead of being paralyzed by the sudden uncertainty motherhood brings, confidence can be found in knowing, “There will never be a time when our children are out of God’s sight or apart from His presence,” (from EXPECTANT, Calling the Shots). Every journey is unique, but every heart is expectant.

[Tweet “No one anticipates interruptions like job loss or a life lost. “]

Most of us have plans for this Christmas season. No one anticipates interruptions like job loss or a life lost. Such unexpected events never appear on our wish list. We rarely address the severity of suffering in our Advent readings. But in the erasing of our expectations and the dissolving of our decisions comes God’s opportunities to display His grand plan. He takes our hand, leading us to unwelcoming inns, simple stable accommodations, and to exile in Egypt. Our Father lets us glimpse the greater glory found when life encircles the Prince of Peace.

[Tweet “Motherhood has a way of causing our expectations to fall away”]

Motherhood has a way of causing our expectations to fall away. From the moment young Mary received her angelic message, nothing unfolded as she imagined, but she found the greater glory in God’s greater plan. “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19)

Let’s agree that this Christmas will probably not be according to our plans–hold loosely to your expectations. Let’s look for God’s greater glory with hearts that are expectant.

Father God,

I want to treasure Your actions in my life. I want to glimpse the glory of being part of Your story. Help me to hold to my expectations loosely and to welcome your plans for me.

 Cropped Courtyard

 

Julie lives where tea is sweet and grits are cheesy. She and her husband of 25 years have two nearly grown kids. EXPECTANT: 40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms was born when God brought a group of young couples into their lives, just as they began to long to grow their families. Julie loves to teach God’s word to women in her hometown and across the globe; she is passionate about fighting human trafficking and helping women of all tribes and tongues find God’s peace for life. Check out Julie’s blog home Come Have a Peace  (www.juliesanders.org) and Marriage Mondays to find reasons for peace and information about her ministry.

Expectant_FlatforeBooks-1

EXPECTANT is available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Follow Julie at:

Facebook: with One Minute4MOM

Twitter: @JulieSanders_

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December 15, 2014
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Celebrate CHRISTmas with a Birthday Party for Jesus!

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Christmas tree 2013

Our Christmas Tree

I posted the above picture on my Facebook timeline and received many questions about the Birthday Bag for Jesus in front of the Christmas tree. At our house, that Birthday Bag is a reminder that we are celebrating the birthday of Jesus.

[Tweet “Christmas is Jesus’ Birthday! Celebrate”]

A Christmas Party with Purpose

[Tweet “Have a Purpose for Your Christmas Party “]

The tradition of celebrating Jesus’ birthday at Christmas started early in our marriage. Since our anniversary is December 19th (22 years this year!), it’s already a packed month for us, but we knew the Lord was prompting us to throw Jesus a party, and so we did. The first year, we invited a few family and friends and had the kids attending act out the manger scene which we set up in our backyard (you can do that in Southern California in December LOL). We had a birthday cake with candles and gave everyone a party favor that represented the true meaning of Christmas.

The highlight of the party was the Birthday Bag. We made “birthday” cards on the computer and gave everyone a card as they came through the front door. The heading on the card had the date, Happy Birthday Jesus, and “This year I give Jesus….” They were advised to think about what they would like to give Jesus as a gift . . . maybe more of their time, or energy, or money . . . and then write it on the card. Perhaps getting involved in a ministry, or spending more time with family and less time at work would be his or her gift.

They could sign the card or leave it anonymous and place it in the birthday bag. On Christmas Eve, our family read the gifts and prayed that each gift giver would stay true to their intent.

An Annual Event

As the years went by, the party grew larger and larger. People heard about it and wanted to come, and those who had attended in previous years started expecting it each year. It also became an outreach as we invited neighbors and unchurched friends. One year, we had someone offer to take pictures of guests in front of the manger scene and then we gave them a printed picture. Our Birthday Party for Jesus became the highlight of many people’s Christmas season.

We have since moved to a rural area, and while we don’t have the Birthday Party, we do have the Birthday Bag under the tree with the “birthday gift cards” and guests to our home are invited to give Jesus their gifts. We also have a manger scene that our grandkids enjoy acting out the first Christmas, and on Christmas Day, we have cupcakes or a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.

Our Idaho Manger scene

Our Idaho Manger scene

Below are some tips for throwing your own Birthday Party for Jesus and setting up a simple manger scene in your home.

Throw A Birthday Party for Jesus!

Keep it simple so you don’t get overwhelmed and invite friends and family to help.

For the manger scene:

  •     Buy hay at an animal feed store
  •     Use a barrel, box, large pot, wash basin, basket…for the “bed” and cover it in hay
  •     Wrap a lifelike baby doll in a baby blanket and place on the hay
  •     You can add lights or small artificial Christmas trees
  •     Hang a paper star over the manager
  •     Put stuffed animal sheep and donkeys around the manger

Let the children act out the manger scene and Christmas story.

  •     Shepherds and Joseph: Use large bath towels and cloth ties to wrap on their head,
  •     Wise Men: Drape colorful pieces of material around their heads and adhere with cloth ties.
  •     Mary: Take an old sheet, cut a hole to go over her head, and cinch at waist with a tie. Drape another piece of sheet over her hair.
  •     Angel: Again a white sheet works great with gold ties.
  •     Have enough towels, ties, and pieces of material for every child who wants to participate.
  •     Have someone read the story from Luke 1:26-38 and 2:1-20 as the children act it out.
  •     Sing several Christmas carols the children will know.

Here is a short video of my grandchildren acting out the first Christmas. As we started having grandkids, I bought Christmas costumes for them. I highly recommend Little Adventures Nativity Costumes…they’ve lasted well through all my grandkids!

Keep Food simple!

Serve finger foods so you don’t need silverware (use plastic if you do use it). If people want to bring something simply say “Sweet or sour finger food please.” That way you get a variety.

  •     Can also purchase a 5-6 ft Subway sandwich
  •     Birthday Paper plates, cups, and napkins
  •     Punch and hot cider, hot chocolate, and coffee
  •     Put candles in cupcakes or have a decorated birthday cake

Invitations, Favors and Birthday Cards for Jesus

  • Use Birthday invitations or make your own on Christmas stationary, and mail or  send out online. Be sure to give your kids a stack to give to their friends.
  • I found Christian, inexpensive party favors at Oriental Trading Company or you can check at a party store or Christianbook.com. Be sure the favors relate to the theme of the party. One year we gave everyone a small battery operated “flame” with the theme of the light of the world being born on Christmas.
  • For the Birthday Cards to give a gift to Jesus, design them on the computer and then print four to a page on cardstock. Or use Christmas stationary or we’ve even found birthday cards with four to a page and we can print “Happy Birthday Jesus! My gift to you this year is:” and the guests write out their gift to Jesus. Be creative!

IMG_0413Gift to Jesus Birthday Cards

[Tweet “What gift are you giving Jesus on His Birthday?”]

  • Decorate with birthday balloons and I found a flag to fly in front of our home.

IMG_20141206_115246

The most important thing about the party is to remember the Guest of Honor. Have a joyous fun time doing everything to the glory of God. Be ready because your guests are going to want you to do this again next year too!

Many people tell me they did similar things when their children were little, but we never grow too old to have a birthday party, right! I would love to hear about your Birthday Party for Jesus or creative ideas for the party. Please share in the comments for everyone to enjoy.

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

 [Tweet “See the birth of Jesus through a child’s eyes”]

 

December 8, 2014
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Sadie Let Her Light Shine!

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Sadie RobertsonSadie Robertson shines on the last night of Dancing with the Stars!

I’m not typically a follower of Dancing with the Stars. The only clips I see are when we DVR Castle and the DVR tapes the end of DWTS. As we fast forward, I notice that the costumes are often revealing and the dances sensuous. But all that changed this season when I heard that Sadie Robertson, granddaughter of Phil and Kay Robertson and of Chrys and John Howard, was going on the show: I took notice.

I’ll still have to admit that we didn’t watch any of the shows, but Monday nights before bed, I watched the online video clips of Sadie’s dances and cast my vote.

Backing Up a Bit

We are strong supporters of the Robertson family and their bold profession of faith that runs throughout their popular TV program Duck Dynasty, in their public appearances, and in private life. What Christian could not support that kind of a witness? Willie Robertson is the son of Phil and Kay Robertson and Sadie Robertson’s proud dad.

Sadie’s mom, Korie Howard Robertson, is the daughter of Chrys and John Howard who were my publishers for Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer and Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. I first met the Howards when they came to a conference at Saddleback Church. We had already signed the contract for Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer and they wanted to meet me. This was my first “trade” book contract after publishing the Woman to Woman Mentoring Resources with LifeWay, who flew me to Nashville, so I thought meeting the editors was the norm in Christian Publishing. Seventeen books later, I now know it’s not.

Chrys and John Howard were down-to-earth people interested my journey through breast cancer. John had just battled colon cancer, so we understood much about each others journey before we even met. I appreciated Chrys and John for their sincerity and profession of faith from the minute I met them on the Saddleback Church patio.

After the release of Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer, I was often at publishing events with the Howards and they welcomed me as family, just as they did with all their authors. They always invited me to dinner with them and supported my writing and ministry. So I was thrilled when we signed a second contract for Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter and I was able to stay in the Howard Books family.

The Howards later sold their publishing company to Simon & Schuster and are no longer the owners of Howard Books, but we are still friends. So it was with surprise and delight when I started reading about this new program that was taking TV by storm, Duck Dynasty, and read that Willie Robertson was married to Korie Howard Robertson, the Howard’s daughter.

It wasn’t long before Dave and I were Duck Dynasty fans, and after hearing Phil Robertson preach at Saddleback Church, we were fans of Phil too. How could we not be? The Robertsons use whatever fame and fortune God blesses them with to further the kingdom and tell the world about Jesus.

This Little Light of Mine . . . I am Going to Let It Shine

 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

When I heard that Sadie Robertson was going to be on Dancing with the Stars, I knew the Lord was opening up yet another “worldly” platform for Jesus to shine through the Robertsons…and shine He did. From the very beginning of the show, the media focused on Sadie setting boundaries on her costumes, dance moves, and choreography. The news liked to say her refusal to wear sinuous, revealing costumes was because of a segment on Duck Dynasty where her dad Willie insisted that her prom dress be modest. So at first the media and the show made a big deal about Willie approving of her costumes, but Sadie said that offended her a bit because it wasn’t just her dad’s approval she was seeking, it was God’s. She wouldn’t wear anything that offended God anyway, so of course her Dad would approve.

During the first few weeks, I read many speculations that Sadie wouldn’t be taken seriously because of her age and her values/faith. The media said the judges and audience would judge her harshly because of her “morals and faith” and didn’t give her much of a chance at success. I think at first this might have been true; but so many were praying for her, and there was just no way the judges and the audience could find fault with the effort, enthusiasm, and earnestness with which she gave her all and did fantastic. Soon the media swapped those dire predictions for acknowledgement of how well she was doing and the amazing talent she was showing and developing. That’s what happens when God’s on your side.

Sadie had no dance experience, and yet we watched her week after week give amazing performances that shocked the judges and the audience. She had hopes of making it through the third round of dances, and last week we saw her and her dance partner, Mark Ballas, as one of the four finalists and many thought she would win. She came in second, which was still phenomenal for a girl who had never danced before.

[Tweet “#Sadie came in second, which was still phenomenal for a girl who had never danced before.”]

But more important than whether she placed first or second, was the impact of her sweet attitude, even under criticism—her smile, sincere and bright—her “light” that all the judges commented was infectious and shined through all her performances on and off the stage.

We know where that “light” comes from—the world was seeing Jesus’ light shine through this 17-year old young lady, who put herself out there for the scrutiny of the world, and even some Christians I might add, but she never let her light go out. The program aired her testimony and didn’t edit out when she talked about God and Jesus. One headline said she prayed twice before each performance, once with her family and once with her dance partner, Mark Ballas.

[Tweet “#Sadie shined bright for Jesus. She never let her light go out. “]

All Glory to God’: Sadie Robertson’s Inspiring ‘DWTS’ Farewell Message — and Why One Judge Called Her ‘An Excellent Role Model’

Before millions of people, Sadie expressed her gratitude at the end of the show and thanked God for the journey.

“It’s just been an amazing experience. I just want to say I’m so thankful to God who has brought me this far in this competition,” she said. “I feel like I really accomplished what I wanted to accomplish on this show and I’m so glad it was Alfonso. He deserves it.”

In an Instagram message posted after the finale, Sadie also thanked her fans for helping her make it to the end of the competition and, again, offered up praise to God for the experience.

“All glory to God for this crazy experience,” she said.

[Tweet ““All glory to God for this crazy experience,” #Sadie said.”]

The judges had plenty to say about Robertson’s skills on the dance floor, also showering her with praise for her moral character and peppy demeanor.

[Tweet “The judges had plenty to say about #Robertson’s skills on the dance floor, also showering her with praise for her moral character and peppy demeanor.”]

“Sadie, I think you’re an excellent role model and a representation of what youth should be today,” judge Carrie Ann Inaba proclaimed. “You’re clean, you’re elegant … everything about you I love.”

Bruno Tonioli added, ”Your personality is so bubbly, so vivacious, your charm always shines through in everything you do. Mark has really done a fantastic job in making you look like a dancing princess.”

I’m Facebook friends with John and Chrys Howard, and as I watched the glowing comments and congratulations flood their Facebook pages, this comment captured the ministry Sadie has had—

“Congratulations on all she has achieved and thank her for inspiring us to live out our faith every moment and always reach for the stars!”

The Bible tells us not to hide our light, but to let it shine for the world to see. The brightest a light shines is in the dark. When we only give our testimony or witness to other believers, we may be preaching to the choir already living in the light. But when we’re willing to take the challenge of letting our light shine into the darkness, that’s where we can really light up the world. Sadie danced her way into the hearts of a dark dark world, and her light became the topic of conversation. Often it was said with a baffled or surprised influx…like I don’t know what this is I’m seeing in you, but I like it. Sadie and her family always let everyone know that light was Jesus.

A Family Ministry

Unlike so many innocent young “stars” that have been thrown into the limelight by their families, who seem to let their precious daughters go the way of the world, the Robertsons and Howards were with Sadie every step of the DWTS journey. Grandma Chrys Howard, “2-Mama” made the commitment to be with Sadie the entire time she was in Los Angeles. And every show had many of the Robertson-Howard clan cheering for Sadie and Mark.

The last night of the finals, the camera caught the tears of proud daddy Willie Robertson as he watched his precious daughter shine on the dance floor. How many girls long for a daddy that sensitive who sees the beauty and grace of the young woman his daughter is becoming?

What Can We Learn from Sadie?

[Tweet “What Can We Learn from #Sadie #Robertson?”]

I posted on my FB page:

This is the face of a leader in the next generation for Christ! Without any dancing experience, she came in 2nd last night in ‪#‎DWTS but on God’s platform she’s a winner. She was a bright light shining in LA and to millions who watched. It was a joy to watch her win over the judges. Last night judge Carrie Ann Inaba (who I thought had been really hard on Sadie and admits that she was skeptical in the beginning) commented also on Sadie’s “light” and smile and said she was a role model for her generation! That’s huge coming out of Hollywood. Sadie was bold about her faith and standards in a loving natural way that won over everyone’s hearts. Keep shining that light for Jesus Sadie…God has great plans for you. And mamas let Sadie and her family be a role model for your daughters and granddaughters!

Sadie had a book release during her time on DWTS Live Original: How the Duck Commander Teen Keeps It Real and Stays True to Her Values . This would make a great Christmas present for your teenage girls.

Sadies' book 2

Sadie has also teamed up with fashion designer Sherri Hill to create a collection of “daddy approved” prom dresses, which balance fashion with modesty and fill a niche for Christian girls and their families.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

December 1, 2014
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Love Your Body During the Holidays

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Love Your Body Like God Loves It

Love Your Body Like God Loves It

No escaping it, the Holidays are upon us with all the temptations and frustrations of trying to maintain a healthy diet.

I think the downward slope starts with Halloween and the candy and then we slide into fall recipes using yummy pumpkin that always includes lots of sugar. Just as the last of the candy wrappers disappear in the trash . . . along comes Thanksgiving. The day we thank God for His provision by feasting.

This year, as Thanksgiving weekend ends . . .  it’s already December 1 so Christmas parties start the next week touting cookies, candy, fudge, eggnog, cakes, pies, and lots of calorie-ridden, fat-laden food! It’s easy to lose heart—literally and figuratively—and decide you’ll just throw caution to the wind and get back to that healthy eating January 1.

But hey, then there’s the nibbles watching the New Year’s parade and football, and it’s too cold to go outside and exercise so those extra few pounds over the holidays can quickly morph to a couple of new dress sizes. Then it’s Super Bowl parties, Valentine’s Day, and the indulging cycle continues as New Year’s resolutions to do better this year become a faint memory.

What’s a Body to Do?

Thanksgiving

[Tweet “There really is a way to stay in control of your health and still enjoy the holidays.”]

There really is a way to stay in control of your health and still enjoy the holidays. I do it every year and you can too; but you have to have a plan in place. Pray about how you’re going to deal with all the tempting food you’ll soon be encountering before you encounter it. Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment on what to eat, how much to eat, what to cook, how to cook it, and what to avoid.

Our usual tactic is to promise ourselves we’ll be good, and then when we get to the party throw caution to the wind . . . and then beat ourselves up the next day when we get on the scales. So here are some tips I’ve found helpful over the years. Please share any you have too:

1. I do get on the scales every day so I can keep a handle on my weight. If you wait until noticing those extra pounds in how your clothes fit, chances are you’re going to have a tough time getting them off. If I see I’ve gained a few pounds, I take that seriously and layoff desserts and eat smaller portions until I lose the extra weight.

[Tweet “If you have an exercise regime don’t stop. If you don’t have one, start! “]

2. If you have an exercise regime don’t stop. If you don’t have one, start! Even though the holidays can be crazy, do this for you! Give yourself the gift that keeps on giving. Exercise helps with stress, gets the endorphins pumping, and burns calories. Find a way to fit it in. In bad weather, take laps around a mall, or I’ve done laps inside a church. Get some girlfriends to join you. I have an elliptical machine in the garage that keeps me exercising throughout the winter.

3. Take a green salad with olive oil and vinegar dressing to a potluck or party. That way you know there’s something healthy for you to eat. As you go down the buffet line, take only a spoonful of things you really love and be especially mindful of Jell-O salads usually loaded with sugar and fat. Don’t go back for seconds.

4. When there’s a selection of desserts, have a small piece of the one you love the most. Or take tiny servings of several. If you bite into one and it isn’t as good as you thought it would be, don’t eat it!

5. Let your stomach guide you. Most of us feel uncomfortable when we overeat, so when you start to feel the belt or waistband tighten around your middle, STOP eating.

6. If you love bread, let yourself have a small piece but don’t use butter. If it’s store-bought dinner rolls, skip them.

7. If you’re out to dinner, make a visual line down the middle of your plate and only eat half of the meal. Ask for a to-go box for a tasty lunch tomorrow.

8. Drink water! Avoid punches, juices, soft drinks, and alcohol.

9. Enjoy stuffing or mashed potatoes without gravy. They’re delicious on their own. Also avoid “sauces.”

Cooking for the Holidays

I used to bring out all my recipes for childhood holiday favorites and spend a day or two in the kitchen making cookies and candy. Then I realized I was the one eating most of it! So now, I pick a favorite or two, and that’s it. Here are some ideas for making your recipes healthier:

1. Never use shortening in anything! Substitute coconut oil.

2. When a recipe calls for “vegetable” oil, again use coconut oil (you can melt it) or grapeseed oil or applesauce.

3. Cut the amount of sugar in half and substitute Stevia for the other half or use all Stevia, or stick with just half the sugar.

4. Use 2% milk, almond or coconut milk.

5. Substitute whole-wheat flour for some of the white flour (I use organic for both)

6. I don’t do gluten-free, but if you do, follow the recipes for the flours you use.

7. Avoid recipes that are pure sugar or fat. They’re not good for anyone.

8. If you’re making cookies with the grandkids, send most of the goodies home!

[Tweet “Remember that these holidays are not about food! “]

Remember that these holidays are not about food! When you gather together, it’s about the fellowship as you thank God for all His blessings and the greatest gift of all, His Son Jesus Christ.

I’m thankful for each of you and appreciate your following on my blog and your desire to live the best life you can for the Lord by loving His gift of your precious body. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

happy-thanksgiving

November 24, 2014
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Lower Expectations for the Holidays and Enjoy Them More

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Kathy Carlton Willis Enjoying a Stress-Free Christmas

Kathy Carlton Willis Enjoying a Stress-Free Christmas

When Dave and I became a blended family six days before Christmas 1992, I quickly learned that the best gift we could all give each other was grace and flexibility–especially during the holidays. Then when our four children married and started having their own children–grace and flexibility took on a whole new meaning! Our guest blogger today, Kathy Carlton Willis gives some excellent pointers on how to lower our expectations and enjoy the stress-free holidays like she did as a child in the picture above. Isn’t that how Jesus tells us to come unto Him–as little children.

How to Grin with Grace through the Holidays
by Kathy Carlton Willis –

What causes you to grit your teeth during the holidays? Perhaps it’s a certain expectation you have in yourself or unreasonable expectations others have in you. Or maybe you’re stressed by unmet expectations you have in others. If there’s one thing you could take a pass on this year to alleviate tension, what would it be? Perhaps your irritant made the list:

I’m stressed because someone else expects me to:

  1. Give more money toward a gift than I have budgeted, or to give a gift to someone not on my list.
  2. Go to a function that conflicts with another event I really want to attend.
  3. Enjoy a family gathering with drunk Uncle Troy there.
  4. Stop what I’m doing to help bail them out of an emergency caused by their poor planning, which will put me behind on my own schedule.

I’m stressed because I expect myself to:

  1. Decorate my house as festive as Martha’s.
  2. Plan and cook a meal that will rival Julia’s.
  3. Be as creative during the holidays as all those amazing women on Pinterest.
  4. Look as svelte as Heidi in my special outfit at the big Christmas shindig.

What if you could learn to grin with grace rather than grit your teeth through the holidays?

[Tweet “What if you could learn to grin with grace rather than grit your teeth through the holidays?”]

Expectations. Don’t worry. We all have them—especially this time of year. Unmet expectations, unrealistic expectations, unhealthy expectations. These lead to disappointment—in others, in ourselves, even in God.

Sometimes expectations are based on what we want to see happen—no matter how unrealistic. Other times our expectations are based on what another person has promised. But not everyone carries out his or her promises.

What to Do:

  1. Pre-plan a healthy way to handle your expectations. It’s impossible to have a godly response in the heat of the moment without having a predetermined course of action.
  2. Focus on the difference between reactions and responses. Reactions are based on emotional reflexes and are governed by the heart.Responses are based on disciplined actions and are led by the Spirit.
  3. Disengage your feelings from the response so you’re not allowing others to push your buttons. (And we all have buttons—usually a mix-matched set!) Take it out of the realm of feelings and put it in the realm of godly thoughts and actions.
  4. Pray for God’s wisdom and discernment.
  5. When a situation arises, be intentional rather than irrational. Remove yourself for a timeout if you need to disconnect from your feelings. Refocus on what Christ’s response would be. Being intentional means you have a strategy in place ahead of time, and you act on that strategy. This is called reframing your thoughts.

 [Tweet “Being intentional means you have a strategy in place ahead of time, and you act on that strategy—reframe your thoughts.”]

Bible Remedies for Expectations:

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

  • How can your expectations be a cause of anxiety?
  • What is to accompany your prayers and supplications?
  • What do you need to let God know about?
  • What does God promise that His peace will do for you?

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)

  • What can you expect God to give you when you truly trust in Him?
  • When you focus on the unmet expectations, you overlook all the amazing stuff that God is doing in your life and in the world

[Tweet “When you focus on the unmet expectations, you overlook all the amazing stuff that God is doing in your life and in the world.”]

Prayer Points:

  • When you have unmet expectations, take them to Jesus.
  • Allow your unmet expectations to draw you closer to the One who can do “abundantly more than all you can ask or imagine.”
  • Focus on the ways Jesus exceeds our expectations. He has eternity in mind, not just today.

[Tweet “Focus on the ways Jesus exceeds our expectations. He has eternity in mind, not just today.”]

What’s Grace Got to do With It?

God is teaching me to give grace through the benefit of the doubt. I’m also praying a little differently. I’m learning to reframe my expectations by infusing these prayers with God’s grace.

What I’m learning from expectations:

  • Everyone has unplanned “stuff” that keeps them from fulfilling their commitments, and I need to be as flexible with others as I hope they will be with me.
  • When others respond in ways that rub me the wrong way, it’s because I had in my mind a more acceptable response and they missed the mark. I expected them to respond in a situation like I would. They are not me (obviously).
  • My timetable is not the same as others. My priorities aren’t the same as others. I need to extend grace regarding timing and priorities, and be okay with the differences, even thanking God that we are all different.

Finally

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, focus on the relationships of the season rather than the expectations. When you let love motivate your prayers, you will discover a new grace-infused way to interact with others—even when they make you want to grit your teeth. And there will be enough grace to go around. Use some of it on yourself.

 [Tweet “When you let love motivate your prayers, you will discover a new grace-infused way to interact with others”]

Kathy Carlton Willis writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. She shines the light on issues that hold women back and inspires their own lightbulb moments. Almost a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books releasing over the next three years, including Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas. Learn more at: www.kathycarltonwillis.com/

 kathy carlton willis-64

 

November 17, 2014
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