Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

After hearing the Academy Award nominations, this little song started going through my mind. Do any of you remember singing this rhyme in Sunday School?

Be careful little eyes what you see,
Be careful little eyes what you see,
There is a father up above,
Who is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes what you see.Be careful little ears what you hear,
Be careful little ears what you hear,
There is a father up above,
Who is looking down in love,
So be careful little ears what you hear.Be careful little feet where you go,
Be careful little feet where you go.
There is a father up above,
Who is looking down in love,
So be careful little feet where you go.Be careful little hands what you do,
Be careful little hands what you do.
There is a father up above,
Who is looking down in love,
So be careful little hands what you do.

Be careful little lips what you say,
Be careful little lips what you say.
There is a father up above,
Who is looking down in love,
So be careful little lips what you say.

They Said What?

Let’s look at one of those academy-nominated movies that’s been getting a lot of publicity:  The Wolf of Wall Street. Here’s how several viewers reviewed it:

  • “The message that I got at the end is that greed, sex, and getting high on drugs are the best thing in the world.”
  • “Scorsese’s ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’: A modern operatic debauch that leaves its viewers woozily addicted.”

The greatest publicity hype is that the F*** word is said over 506 times! Two talk show hosts were discussing this fact, and one said to the other, “Really? I saw it and never noticed. I wonder what that says about me?” Yes, I wonder.

That sounds “woozily addicting.” Just what Satan is hoping –we would become so desensitized by blatant immoral sex, foul language, and despicable behavior that it would go unnoticed, uncensored . . . enjoyed.

I call that lazy writing . . .  lazy acting . . .  lazy viewing.

Today it seems like movies think if they throw vulgarity into a movie enough times…it will draw bigger audiences. If you’re like me, hearing that from anyone, anytime, is like a punch in the stomach. I can’t imagine feeling punched 506 times and calling it fun.

Oh Be Careful Little Lips What You Say

Do most people really pepper their language with foul language? Not the people I know.

Naively, I thought movies with Sandra Bullock would be safe, after all, she’s Miss Congeniality, and I loved her in the Blind Side and Gravity. So how about Heat? Naught! Just heard it too is riddled with the “f” word. So I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised to hear that she dropped the F-bomb on live TV at the Critic’s Choice Movies Award. She’s a beautiful, talented actress and mother, who doesn’t just speak trash for the part. Pray for Sandra. She played a Christian mother  . . . she could become one.

It’s Just a Movie

I heard some say about the  movie Heat: The language was awful, but it was really funny. How can listening to two women spew vulgarities be funny?

Or there’s always the rationalizations—“It’s just a movie” or “They had to do that to depict reality.”  Or my all time favorite, “It’s artistic expression.” Justifications for viewing, maybe even laughing nervously at, vulgar filth. Yes, I call it filth. But don’t just listen to me.

What Does the Father Up Above Say?

How about running every movie you plan to see through the Ephesians 5:1-10 grid:

1. Is it “following the example of Christ” (v. 2)?

2. Does it contain “sexual immorality, impurity, or greed. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes”? According to God: “these are not for you . . . Such sins have no place among God’s people” (verses 3-4).

3. Are you thinking it’s just a movie and won’t influence my life? Think again—watching is participating: “Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do” (verses 6-7).

There’s a movie coming out of Hollywood on February 28, 2014 that not only passes the Ephesians 5 grid, it is the grid! We should all get excited about and support The Son of God. Watch the movie trailer.

The 10-hour miniseries, The Bible, produced by husband-and-wife team Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, was a breakout hit, garnering an average of 15 million viewers per episode. It also earned three Emmy nominations. Now they’ve made a movie about Jesus and we have the opportunity to make this movie a record-breaker too.

My husband’s so excited, he’s already ordered the Bible study to go with it. February 28, 2014 is on our calendar and I hope it will be on yours too.

For every Christian who is considering seeing a movie today, run it by the “Father up above who is looking down in love.”

Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret.  (Ephesians 5:10-12)

Ephesians 5:1-14

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

10 Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. 11 Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. 12 It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. 13 But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, 14 for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said,

“Awake, O sleeper,
rise up from the dead,
and Christ will give you light.”

 

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Die to Yourself to Live

Die to Live

If you’re a Christian feeling stressed or overwhelmed, could it be that you are trying to hold onto some of your old ways of life while putting on your new life in Christ? That will never work. “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT).

In March of 2010, I wrote a blog post about what it means as a Christian to die to self. This was the highest read blog for 2013! Almost daily, someone clicks on that post, and just last week, I received a new comment on it. That tells me many are interested in learning more about this subject. God has been prompting me to expand on my original post, so here goes, and I would love it if you shared your comments for others to read.

You Want to Do What?

I was surprised at my husband’s shocked reaction to my request; but then I’d had time to think and pray about it…

I became a believer at the age of twelve, but by my late twenties, I was a divorced single mom with a successful career. For the next seventeen years I backslid into a world dominated by a cultural shift away from Christian values. Then my hairdresser invited me to a Harvest Crusade led by Pastor Greg Laurie who challenged the crowd, “If you died tonight, are you ready?” No, I wasn’t ready!

I cried out to God that His prodigal daughter was returning and I promised to do whatever He asked and go wherever He led.

I didn’t know then the ramifications of my vow, but slowly my life began changing. I married a godly man, enrolled in seminary, started the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church, and founded About His Work Ministries. But something still didn’t feel right. I was about the Lord’s work, yet so much of me was at the core of everything I did: My ministry. My writing. My speaking. My team. My, my, my…

I opened my Bible and saw the problem and solution:

“We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives” (Romans 6:6 NLT).

“My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that (Galatians 2:19-20, The Message).

Convicted, I asked my husband: “Will you pray over me to completely die to myself and only live for Christ.” I expected an enthusiastic, “Honey, that’s wonderful! Let’s do it now.” Instead, he asked, “Are you sure? You really need to pray about that.” I assured him I had prayed and I had to get me out of the way to be About His Work.

After praying about my request, Dave said if I was going to take such a significant spiritual step, he would take it with me. So we knelt, held hands, and prayed that God would help us die to our own agendas and live solely for Him. We didn’t expect suddenly to be selfless—it’s a life-long process, but we did immediately feel the significance of our commitment to the Lord and to each other.

The Secret to a Happy Marriage

Several years ago, I heard a couple interviewed on the Oprah show. It was a second marriage for the husband and wife, and the wife raved about what a wonderful husband he was and that she never knew a man like this existed. Oprah asked the husband what he did to make his wife so happy and he said, “I died to myself.” Oprah didn’t understand what he meant, and questioned something to the effect of: What do you mean you’ve died? You look pretty alive to me! The wife explained: “As Christians, we’ve died to ourselves.” Oprah was still perplexed and confused. She shook her head and changed the subject.

My husband and I understand what this couple had discovered. Here’s what my husband wrote in the Epilogue to Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man.

So I leave you with these final words: Living with your spouse in stay-at-home man seasons of life, while different, is no more challenging than any other season of married life. You just have to constantly die to self as God teaches us, consider your spouse more important than yourself, and work as a team . . . I’m still learning this principle and have to die to myself many times daily.

Experiencing the Blessing of Dying to Self

Since Dave and I prayed to exchange our ways for God’s ways, God has seen us through challenging times and amazing times and we’re always careful to give Him the glory. Every morning I pray John 30:31 “He [Jesus] must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.”

If you too want to experience the blessings of dying to self, are you ready to—

  1. Completely surrender your will to God’s will?
  2. Seek God’s direction before making decisions and respond accordingly?
  3. Be in the minority—sometimes even among fellow Christians?
  4. Care about others more than your own well-being and comfort?
  5. Live counter-culture?
  6. Care more about what God thinks about you then what people think about you?

Don’t worry if you can’t answer yes to all the questions, this is a process. Choose one area to start with and ask God to help you see things through His eyes, to hurt where He hurts and love how He loves. Get ready—you’re on your way to dying to self so that you can live a new life in Christ!

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he [Jesus] said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? Mark 8:34-37

I would love to hear your comments on what it means to you to die to yourself to live.

Picture Credits

51: Daily Inspirational Bible Verse

Source:

Flickr

Title:

51: Daily Inspirational Bible Verse

Owner:

Tito & Eva Marie Balangue

License:

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

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Balancing Grace and Truth

Reposting this, since my feed did not go out on December 30th. 

Recently on my Facebook timeline, there was a discussion about grace and truth. I made the statement that I was glad that the public debate about the GQ interview with Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty, and A&E’s subsequent suspension of him, was prompting the moral majority of Christians to speak out about their beliefs. Speak out they did, with a united voice heard around the world. People opposing, instead of tolerating, sin.

I also said Christians have erred on the side of grace resulting in sin not only being tolerated, but legalized. We know the commandment “Thou shalt not kill,” but abortion is legal and called a “woman’s choice.” The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin and marriage is between a man and a woman, but homosexual marriage is becoming legal and called a lifestyle choice. Sin has always been a choice, that’s why God sent His Son to earth to offer us grace…not grace to keep on sinning . . . but grace to choose to turn from our wicked ways, seek forgiveness, and accept eternal life with Christ. An undeserved second chance to live a righteous life— the balance of grace and truth.

Truth or Grace

  • “You’re late!” A greeting to the last arriving meeting members. Truth but no Grace.
  • “Where are you going to live?” A response to a Christian who announces she’s going to live with her boyfriend. Grace but no Truth.
  • “That dress looks terrible on you.” Truth but no Grace.
  • “It’s alright. No problem.” A reply to a friend backing out on an important commitment. Grace but no Truth.
  • “You are going to hell if you keep up that behavior!” Truth but no Grace.
  • “Ok, I understand…” Said to the friend you babysat for numerous times, but when you ask to do a trade, she’s too busy. Grace but no Truth.
  • “Congratulations!” A gay couple tells you they are getting married. Grace but no Truth

Balancing Grace and Truth

Ephesians 4:15 says for us to “tell the truth in love.” What does that really mean, and most importantly, how do we do it? Not Grace or Truth or Grace versus Truth, but Grace and Truth. Yes, they can occur simultaneously, but it takes work. Displaying both grace and truth is a delicate balance, and often, we err towards one side or the other.

When faced with a sinful situation, many Christians fear sounding judgmental so their response is full of grace, but evades the truth. This can appear to condone the sinful behavior. Or, we’re so shocked or appalled at the sin we know God hates, that we slam the person with biblical truth. Very few are receptive to a condemning approach.

I tend to err on the side of wanting the truth told, but not knowing how to present it in a grace-filled manner. How do we not condemn, but not condone? How can we tell the truth, but still extend grace?

Follow Jesus’ Example

Randy Alcorn wrote an excellent book on this topic, The Grace and Truth Paradox: Responding with Christ-like Balance. Randy points out that the early church drew thousands to Jesus by copying the only model they had at the time…Jesus himself. Today, we often ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Those people knew what Jesus would do. We could arrive at a number of adjectives describing the character of Christ that would let us know what He would do today, but Randy suggests all reduce to two character qualities…yes only two!

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” John 1:1,14.

Jesus was full of both grace and truth all the time. Not grace one time and truth another time, Everything He did and everything He said embodied both character qualities. Notice that grace comes first in the verse because it was a new concept to the early Christians. They knew about the truth of the law from the Old Testament, but the grace of forgiveness that Jesus brought was brand new to them. 

Even in Jesus’ days, with his example to emulate, some like the Pharisees still chose to rely only on truth, and we know them as legalists. Jesus pointed out that the law could only reveal sin, but the grace of Jesus Christ could remove it.

We want others to know Jesus by what they see in our life, but then we have to ask ourselves what do they see in us? Are we full of grace and truth? Does it seem like a paradox sometimes? It shouldn’t. Randy points out that grace without truth, or truth without grace, are like a bird without one wing.

He Told Me Everything I’ve Ever Done!

In John 4:7-26, Jesus encountered the “woman at the well” who was living in sin. Jesus didn’t hesitate to point out to her the truth of her sin, yet he offered her a way out by grace. He didn’t run from the truth because it would embarrass her or put her on the spot. He simply stated the truth, but assured her He was The Way to grace. And what was the result of Jesus confronting her with grace and truth? The woman left her sinful life and became one of the first women evangelists (John 4:28-30).

No Bait and Switch

Communicating with grace and truth is not telling someone something flattering, then zinging them with truth. That bait and switch approach is never effective. They feel manipulated and tricked. Have you ever had that happen to you where you wonder: Did they just compliment or chastise me? Telling the truth should never cause confusion. It needs to be clear and concise.

Grace doesn’t mean sugarcoating, That’s not what Jesus would do. The passage in John 4:7-26 is a pattern for displaying grace and truth like Jesus. Notice Jesus didn’t first compliment the woman, then slam her with the truth. He first asked her a question, “Will you give me a drink?” which was a display of grace since Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans. The remainder of the passage is an example of Jesus telling the truth with grace. He confronted her with the truth of her sin and offered her the grace of forgiveness and eternal life.

What About You?

Check yourself with Randy Alcorn’s “Two Point Checklist” to help determine if you are a grace and truth Christian.

1.  Are nonbelievers uncomfortable around you?

It could be you are erring on the side of legalistic truth. People were drawn to Christ, who was both grace and truth, but ran from the Pharisees who had only the ‘truth.’

2.  Do all nonbelievers like you?

A red flag that you are erring on the side of grace. The true spirit of grace is that you love enough to tell the biblical truth and share the Gospel.

 Truth without grace:            Destroys          Crushes

    Grace without truth:             Deceives          Cowardly

Grace and Truth together:    Draws              Christ

God’s truths are guardrails in life to prevent us from going over the cliff into the sinful abyss, not tools for beating us over the head. A means of rescue, not a weapon. Truth can release someone from bondage or rescue him or her from certain death. When we choose to bypass truth and go straight to grace, it’s no longer grace. Offering someone grace without the truth—the guardrail that protects and sets us free to know the true grace of Jesus—is sending them over the cliff in a loving way.

A quote from Randy’s book:  “Truth without grace breeds a self-righteous legalism that poisons the church and pushes the world away from Christ. Grace without truth breeds moral indifference and keeps people from seeing their need for Christ. Attempts to “soften” the gospel by minimizing truth keep people from Jesus. Attempts to “toughen” the gospel by minimizing grace keep people from Jesus. It’s not enough for us to offer grace or truth. We must offer both.”

This is something most of us will spend a lifetime trying to achieve and only Jesus was perfect at it, but the Holy Spirit will help us if we ask. Tricia McCary Rhodes writes in Taking Up Your Cross about Jesus’ grace versus the truth of our inadequacy, “To be humble is to live always with poignant awareness of God’s extravagant grace poured out in exchange for our complete inadequacy.” And isn’t that the TRUTH!

“If we get it wrong about Jesus, it doesn’t matter what else we get right.” —Randy Alcorn

Phil Robertson

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Divine Appointments

Ashley Inn in front of tree

 

If you read last Monday’s post, it was my poem “Time to Sit with You” where I challenged all of us to take time with Jesus, the Birthday Boy! Dave and I do try to practice what I preach and when we were married 21 years ago on December 19th, we vowed to put Jesus at the center of our marriage. We also vowed that even though our anniversary would only be six days before Christmas, we would always make time to celebrate our relationship with each other and with Christ.

So even as our family expanded to eleven grandchildren, and we had an annual Birthday Party for Jesus, we’ve still taken two or three days to get away from the hustle and bustle of Christmas and focus on the blessings of our marriage and our faith. On these anniversary getaways, we spend time prayerfully focusing on our goals for the upcoming year. One year, we decided we wanted our house to look more like a grandparents’ house and we came home and started remodeling. In 2004, we decided we would like to own a writing cabin in the area where we went for our anniversary getaway—Idyllwild—and God gave us the perfect cabin.

Another year, our goal was moving from California to a place we both enjoyed. We ended up in Idaho.

There were tough years, like thirteen years ago when I started radiation for breast cancer the day before our anniversary. But right after the appointment, we headed off to Julian, California where we spent several beautiful anniversaries. The great thing about our anniversary is everywhere we go, it’s decorated beautifully for Christmas—just like our wedding reception on a boat that cruised around Newport Beach Harbor with our wedding guests.

This year, even though we had invited 24 people to dinner three days after our anniversary, we still packed up and got a way to a magical place—Ashley Inn in Cascade, ID. The pictures you see here are from this wonderful trip. We went there our first anniversary in Idaho and were so impressed with the beautiful Christmas decorations and hospitality. It’s a spectacular place to get away and enjoy each other and the season.

We talked over next year’s goals in a little coffee shop in McCall as I wrote them out on a napkin. We mainly talked about seeking God’s will for About His Work Ministries and how we could get Dave exercising in the winter.

Each year, when we take this time away together, God shows up in divine appointments. The last night, when I went down to the breakfast room to get some hot tea and the fresh baked cookies they put out at 8:00 pm, to my surprise two couples were sitting at a table enjoying the evening treat. They said, “Oh there’s the other one staying tonight,” and that’s when I learned there were just six of us in the entire huge hotel. As we chatted, I mentioned that I was a Christian author. They asked what I wrote, and I listed several of my books and then excused myself as hubby had the DVD on pause waiting for me to return with cookies.

The next morning, as we were enjoying a late breakfast graciously provided by the hotel, one of the couples came down for breakfast and the wife was carrying a Bible, just like mine. As I commented on her great reading material, she said she had been praying that God would let us meet again before we left. As we sat and chatted, she said she wanted Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, “I need that book now!” I just happened to have one in the car, and we cried and prayed for her daughter and knew that we would stay in contact. It was a divine appointment—the kind that happen so often when we let ourselves be still and not worry about the to-do lists waiting at home. We had that sweet time together with neither of us checking our watches, because we knew God had brought us together for such a time as this.

I pray that you too will stop during the next few days and just enjoy conversation and community with those that God brings into your life. Maybe it will be family you haven’t seen for a long time or those you see every day—or neighbors—or acquaintances—or strangers—who you know you’re supposed to stop and spend a moment with.

Maybe reading this post was one of those divine appoints. If so, I’m glad I got to spend it with you. Savor every day—especially the celebration of our Savior’s birth. If He had not come to earth and become flesh and blood, just like us, life would seem meaningless. But because of Jesus, ­we have hope to cope with whatever life brings us, as we await eternal life with Him.

I would love to hear about your divine appoints this Christmas. Please share a comment for others to be blessed.

Merry CHRISTmas,  Janet

 

Ashley Inn looking at each other

Breakfast room @ Ashley Inn

Breakfast room where we met the other couple

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Time to Sit with You

­

Photo: Thanks to Mountain West Bank for presenting 2014 Winter Garden aGlow. We are glowing nightly in all weather.  Get advance tickets in all Treasure Valley Mountain West Bank locations.

I wrote this poem in 2004 as our Christmas card and it seems like an appropriate time to share it with all of you. About this time in December. we can begin to feel heavy laden with all our “to dos” and forget why we’re even doing any of them. I hope the thoughts I share with you here will help you stop for a moment and give the Lord the best gift of all–your time.

“Time To Sit With You”

Lord, so many things to do,

No time to sit with you.

There’s presents to buy,

And I must bake a pie!

But isn’t it all about Me?

What’s closed your eyes to see.

The purpose of Christmas day,

Isn’t how much you pay?

Lord, each year we hear that said,

Yet, still it comes with dread.

Anticipating all to do,

No time to sit with You!

This is MY day.

Don’t I have a say

In how you spend your time?

Remember, you are chosen…Mine!

But Lord, relatives will soon be here,

And the lawn Santa still needs reindeer!

There is so much to do,

Still no time to sit with You.

Relax and enjoy Me this season,

Let your activities have a reason.

This is My Birthday celebration,

And all I want is your attention.

Oh, Lord, we’ll make it all about You.

Do You think we should have fondue?

We’ll read the Christmas Story,

And give You all the glory.

Sit down and read My Word.

Your craziness is absurd.

Come spend some time with me,

Forget the Christmas tree.

Oh, Lord the cookies are all baked,

I have such a headache.

I know I need to pray,

But I’ve had such a day!

Lives are waiting to be saved.

Did you hear Me when you prayed?

It is certainly no wonder

Your world is all asunder.

No, God, I didn’t hear a word,

I was busy stuffing the bird.

I want to just slow down,

But I feel I’m losing ground.

You’ve made it all about you,

And all your parties too.

My message to the lost,

Overshadowed by homemade cranberry sauce.

Lord, that’s not true,

You know I do love You.

It’s just I feel a call,

To make this the best Christmas of all!

You’re wasting your time.

Do you think you could top Mine?

I had a virgin birth,

As my entrance to earth.

Oh, Lord, I’m beginning to see,

How You want to use me.

Telling Your story to all who will listen,

Is the true Christmas mission.

Spending time with Me,

Is the only way to flee

The world’s strangling control

On your time and very soul.

Oh, Lord, Your music softly plays,

As the candle glow displays,

The beauty of time spent

With our Gift heaven sent.

You’ll go against the flow

Taking time to help a lost soul.

But when the day has come to end,

You’ll have the joy of a new friend.

Oh, Lord, forgive me please.

Help me put down my car keys.

It really is so true,

There’s ALWAYS time to sit with You.

Our prayer for you our friends and family is that you focus your life on only those things that will have Kingdom value.  It’s the only legacy worth leaving.  We love you all,

Janet & Dave

PS: The picture is from the Winter Garden Aglow at the Boise Botanic Gardens! It looks like a miniature Christmas Village, but it’s REAL. We’ve lived here for three Christmases and never gone. This year, we’re making the time to go and enjoy the beauty. What, or who, are you making time for this year?

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Elizabeth and Mary: Generation to Generation

older and younger women together You’ve probably read the story many times of Mary’s visit from the angel Gabriel in Luke 1:26-45. It’s an amazing revelation to a young teenage girl that she is to become the mother of the Messiah. But there is another parallel story told in these verses—the story of the relationship between Mary and Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist who would be the forerunner of Jesus. The passage in Luke actually sets the scene by pointing out that Elizabeth was six month’s pregnant. Two women with miracle pregnancies–one very old and one very young.

The Birth of Jesus Foretold

 In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee,  to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”  “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.” “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.—Luke 1:26-34

Mary Visits Elizabeth

At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”—Luke 1:39-45

Elizabeth Makes Time for Mary

Gabriel gave Mary a shocking message from the Lord, However, Mary also received the second part of the message that her elderly relative Elizabeth was in a similar circumstance, and that Mary would find comfort and reassurance in spending time with her. Gabriel’s mention of Elizabeth compelled Mary to go to her immediately, no matter what the inconvenience, time, energy, or sacrifice. Mary did not stop to count the cost, consider the hardships of the travel, analyze if that was really what the Lord meant, or worry about how it would affect her schedule, or wonder if Elizabeth was too old to relate to her. Mary also didn’t send a message to Elizabeth that Elizabeth should come visit her—after all, she was carrying the Messiah. No, Luke 1:39 says, “Mary got ready and hurried” to Elizabeth’s house. Young Mary seemed to know that she needed Elizabeth, and Elizabeth might need her. From Elizabeth’s response at Mary’s arrival, it doesn’t seem like Elizabeth worried or fretted that the house was a mess, or she was out of coffee and cookies, or that she looked a sight and her husband, Zechariah, really wasn’t himself these days since he could not speak after doubting God. She didn’t tell Mary that there were a million things to do to get ready for her own new baby, so this probably wasn’t a good time for Mary’s visit. She wasn’t repulsed that her unwed, pregnant, teenage relative was on her doorstep. Instead, she joyfully welcomed Mary and they had a blessed reunion!

How Does the Story of Mary and Elizabeth Apply to Us?

Today, our lives are so busy we sometimes feel we don’t have time to invest in true friendships and relationships. We fill our days with work, soccer games, church activities, house cleaning, shopping, errands—you know the routine. All good, necessary things. Yet how much of our day do we also fill with TV viewing, Internet browsing, and shopping for things we really don’t need that cause us to work more to acquire and maintain? Mentors and mentees often complain that the hardest part of their relationship is finding time in their busy lives to meet, even though they know it would benefit them both. Others report that when they surrender their schedule to the Lord, He seems to give them more time and energy in their day to accomplish all the things he knows are important. Just like Elizabeth and Mary, God will work miracles in our relationship, if we just give Him the time. I would love to hear about your “Elizabeth and Mary” experiences. Please share in the comments so others can be blessed.

Spend time with someone 20 years older and you’ll leave wiser

Spend time with someone 20 years younger and you’ll leave energized!

Sections of this post were excerpts from Face-to-Face with Elizabeth and Mary: Generation to Generation. This study has questions to do on your own, with someone else, or as a group. It would make a great gift to give to yourself and a friend to do together and learn more about this beautiful relationship.

Elizabeth and Mary cover

 

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Worry’s Growl

Thanksgiving is barely over when the pressure of Christmas and the month of December descends upon us. This seemed like a perfect time to introduce my readers to my dear friend and fellow author, Kathy Collard Miller, and her new book Partly Cloudy and Scattered Worries.

Partly  Cloudy

By guest blogger, Kathy Collard Miller

I headed out on my jog, evening the storm clouds that threatened rain above me. Oh, I so want to run, and I can’t run tomorrow. I’ve got to do it right now even if it rains. But by the time I’d run a mile, the drops started and got bigger and bigger.

Oh. I’m so disappointed, I mourned, as I turned and headed back. But then, a new resolve overwhelmed me. By golly, I’m going to run even if I get wet. It’s just too important for my health.

I continued running and the drops fell continually but were not drenching. As I ran, the rain slackened, yet clouds off in the distance were a dark, threatening color. Will it hold off? By the time I’d passed my three-mile mark, the sprinkles stopped, and when I looked up at the sky, the dark clouds were gone. Where did they go? I turned to look for them, but they had dissipated, though the sky was still overcast.

For the next two miles, no rain fell. As I reached the last half mile, the storm clouds opened up again and my clothes were reaching the wet category. But I didn’t care that my hair was wet; it had been an exhilarating run. Walking for my cool-down, a few rays of sun broke through the clouds, splashing the luscious, colorful hues of a rainbow across the sky. Wow. I would have missed it if I hadn’t risked getting wet.

My run could have been a really unpleasant experience but the warning of rain had turned out to be a worse threat than the actual rain. In the end, I was rewarded with a beautiful rainbow that I would have missed had I not run.

That day as I ran, I saw an analogy to worry. Its growl is worse than its bite. Worry can easily cause us to focus on disaster while taking away our ability to trust God. Yet even if what we fear happens, it’s often not as bad as we thought it would be. We might even experience the “rainbow” of God’s blessings in some unexpected way.

BOOK SUMMARY AND AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY:

It is possible to worry less through trusting God more. Regardless of the storms of trials, temptations, worry, uncertainty, confusion, or regrets that you’re facing, you can trust God more. Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries offers a conversational style, personal testimonies, practical illustrations, and solid biblical teaching for breaking anxiety and the devastating effects of worry. Each chapter includes Discussion Questions for individuals or groups, along with a “Letter from God.” In addition, a profile of a woman in the Bible who struggled with or experienced victory over worry is featured in each chapter to inspire every reader to see God’s hand in her life.

Kathy Collard Miller is a speaker and author. Her passion is to inspire women to trust God more. She has spoken in 30 states and 7 foreign countries. Kathy has 49 published books including Women of the Bible: Smart Guide to the Bible (Thomas Nelson) and she blogs at www.KathyCollardMiller.blogspot.com. Kathy lives in Southern California with her husband of 43 years, Larry, and is the proud grandma of Raphael. Kathy and Larry often speak together at marriage events and retreats.

 Miller promo photo jpeg (2)

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Acquiring Overshadows Thanksgiving

Women On Shopping Sale Stock Images - 21849044

To me, Thanksgiving ushers in an end-of-year season of thanking God for our many blessings, celebrating our biggest blessing—the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ—and setting purposeful goals for the next year.

I pondered and prayed about our local Christian radio station playing Christmas music all day October 31. Were they countering Halloween or getting a head start on the Christmas shopping frenzy? Most of my FB friends chose the first explanation, and I agreed.

The Black Friday frenzy is once again creeping into Thanksgiving

Now we have the infringement of Thanksgiving Day with some stores preempting “Black Friday” by opening on Thanksgiving Thursday! Two years ago when this trend started, they opened at 9 PM or midnight, but this year many stores are pushing the envelope and opening as early as  Thanksgiving morning!

The separation between Black-Friday and Thanksgiving is blurring.

The shift to earlier hours started in 2010 and has accelerated since then, said Kathy Grannis, spokeswoman for the National Retail Federation, which is based in Washington, D.C. Last year’s Thanksgiving shopping event was the biggest yet: More than 35 million people hit the stores and shopped online, up from 29 million in 2011, according to an NRF survey conducted by BIGinsight.–Sue Doefler. The Republic

Sadly, millions of people plan a quick “Thank you God for this meal,” which they’re gulping down to be the first in line for the “can’t miss, one-time-only, one-hour-only bargains.” Seriously? These stores run sales all year round and even more at every holiday. And financial analysts show that many of those stores opening on Thanksgiving are under performers and want us to help them get back into the black. Or their trying to make up for six less shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year . . . like we’re not all going to get our Christmas shopping done if we don’t start on Thanksgiving. Again, I ask, “Seriously?”

When I mentioned at our Thanksgiving dinner two years ago that I found it sad when a grandma at the table was going home to catch a nap because she had to go to work later at Wal-Mart, there were questions as to what I saw wrong with this new “tradition.” Here were my answers:

  1. Instead of focusing an entire day on thanking God for providing all we need and already have (something we should do every day) there’s a frenzied rush to acquire more than we need.
  2. Store workers no longer enjoy an entire holiday off. While shoppers are trampling each other for the “only-while-supply-lasts deals,” store employees have had to skip dessert to get back to work.
  3. It’s definitely not God enticing crazed consumers to go shopping on a day set aside to thank Him for life and provision. So if it isn’t God . . . who else would it be whispering in ears, “Did God really say you shouldn’t go shopping on Thanksgiving? He just doesn’t want you to get that great deal.” Hmmm seems like a conversation something like that took place in the Garden of Eden.
  4. How long will it be before after-Christmas sales start Christmas afternoon? If shoppers really support the opening of stores on Thanksgiving . . . it’s only a matter of time.

God Says . . .

In Exodus 16:4, the Lord said to Moses regarding the food He was providing for the Israelites, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.” Later in Scripture, we learn that those who gathered and horded more than they needed lost everything.

In Matthew 6:24-26 God warns and assures us: “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?

And in 1 Corinthians 10:14 “So, my dear friends, flee from the worship of idols.”

Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving to You All

Enjoy what the Lord has given you this Thanksgiving, be generous with your time, pray for wisdom and discernment in your acquisitions, and above all, share with everyone you meet the greatest “deal” of all time—eternal life through believing in Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

I would love to hear from you regarding what your family is doing to avoid the commercialization of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Please leave a comment below and share ideas with others.

 

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Even Hollywood Gets It!

The Search for Santa Paws

What do the following movies have in common?

Meet the Robinsons, Elf, Kung Fu Panda 2, The Search For Santa Paws, Les Miserables, Annie, Cinderella, Peter Pan, Aladdin.

Any ideas?

My grandkids were visiting this past weekend and they brought their DVD’s. They chose to watch The Search For Santa Paws one night, a movie I hadn’t seen. As I started watching it with them, I had a “Holy Spirit” moment when I realized one of the subplots was about orphans being rescued from a bad foster care home and being adopted by a couple who couldn’t have children. The next night they watched Kung Fu Panda 2 and this movie also had an orphan theme.

I had already planned this post for Monday, but I realized the Lord was opening my eyes to how many movies are about orphans or orphanages. One website said there are 599 movies with an orphan theme, including the ones I listed above.

The Bible says “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you” (James 1:27 NLT). It’s interesting that even Hollywood understands that passage.

A baby—precious, fragile, helpless, dependent, sweet, needy, and full of potential—without a family is destitute, institutionalized, alone . . .  heartbreaking.

Any child at any age without a home, without a family, without love is heartbreaking.

James 1:27 tells the church, and every Christian, that it isn’t enough to feel sad or compassionate about an orphan. The very foundation of our faith says we will take care of them. I have to think that when God uses the term “caring for orphans”, He means more than putting them in orphanages and the foster care system—He means they are the personal responsibility of the church.

National Adoption Awareness Month

November has been designated National Adoption Awareness Month, and specifically this year, November 23 is National Adoption Day. Eight years ago, my family became a “forever family” to my precious grandson, Brandon, and he became legally ours in a courtroom on National Adoption Day. We can’t imagine our family without Brandon, and I try not to focus on what his life would have been like had his teenage mother not put him up for adoption—or even worse—had she availed herself to a morning after pill or aborted her baby or left him on a doorstep. I’m still in awe and wonder that God bestowed such a precious gift to our family— baby Brandon.

God’s Plan A

Today 1 in 6 couples struggle with infertility, but with advances in infertility treatment, adoption is not always considered a viable option, or maybe considered as a Plan B when all else fails. My daughter Kim and her husband Toby, Brandon’s “forever parents,” struggled for years with infertility and, then, felt God calling them to a “ministry of adoption.” Many of you may have felt that same call to adopt a child into your family and have experienced the joys and blessings of “caring for the orphans.” It was never meant to be Plan B, it’s always been God’s Plan A. But my daughter stresses that a couple shouldn’t consider adoption until they can look at it as God’s plan for them becoming a family or adding to their family.

Adoption blesses the adopted family, the adopted child, and the birth mom.

God’s Plan for Orphans Is Not Just for the Infertile

In the Bible, God talked openly, and often, about orphans and the responsibility of the church to take care of them. Many churches today focus on caring for other nation’s orphans, which is admirable. But what about the orphans in their own communities and in the overflowing foster care system?

It’s an awesome thing to have your family sponsor a child through Compassion International or one of the other Christian organizations that help indigent children in foreign countries, but it’s also our calling to do something up close and personal for a child without a family in our country.

One of my son-in-laws regularly visited the local county orphanage to play with the children. Sadly, the foster care programs today are overflowing with children who need a loving, Christian home and parents. What is your church doing to help? What are you doing? What is your family doing?

Facts from The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute Website

In the U.S. 400,540 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. 115,000 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 40% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted.  Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

Around the world, there are an estimated 153 million orphans who have lost one parent. There are 17,900,000 orphans who have lost both parents and are living in orphanages or on the streets and lack the care and attention required for healthy development. These children are at risk for disease, malnutrition, and death. Source: UNICEF and Childinfo

According to the U.S. State Department, U.S. families adopted more than 9,000 children in 2011. Last year, Americans adopted the highest number of children from China followed by Ethiopia, Russia, South Korea, and Ukraine. Source: United States State Department

No child under three years of age should be placed in institutional care without a parent or primary caregiver. This is based on results from 32 European countries, including nine in-depth country studies, which considered the “risk of harm in terms of attachment disorder, developmental delay and neural atrophy in the developing brain.” Source: Mapping the Number and Characteristics of Children Under Three in Institutions Across Europe at Risk of Harm: Executive Summary

Children raised in orphanages have an IQ 20 points lower than their peers in foster care, according to a meta-analysis of 75 studies (more than 3,800 children in 19 countries). This shows the need for children to be raised in families, not in institutions. Source: IQ of Children Growing Up in Children’s Homes A Meta-Analysis on IQ Delays in Orphanages

Each year, over 27,000 youth “age out” of foster care without the emotional and financial support necessary to succeed. This number has steadily risen over the past decade. Nearly 40% had been homeless or couch surfed, nearly 60% of young men had been convicted of a crime, and only 48% were employed. 75% of women and 33% of men receive government benefits to meet basic needs. 50% of all youth who aged out were involved in substance use and 17% of the females were pregnant. Source: Fostering Connections

Nearly 25% of youth aging out did not have a high school diploma or GED, and a mere 6% had finished a two- or four-year degree after aging out of foster care. One study shows 70% of all youth in foster care have the desire to attend college. Source: Midwest Evaluation of the Adult Functioning of Former Foster Youth

As of 2011, nearly 60,000 children in foster care in the U.S. are placed in institutions or group homes, not in traditional foster homes. Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

States spent a mere 1.2-1.3% of available federal funds on parent recruitment and training services even though 22% of children in foster care had adoption as their goal. Source: Adoption Advocate No. 6: Parent Recruitment and Training: A Crucial, Neglected Child

Over three years is the average length of time a child waits to be adopted in foster care. Roughly 55% of these children have had three or more placements. An earlier study found that 33% of children had changed elementary schools five or more times, losing relationships and falling behind educationally. Source: AFCARS Report, No. 19

What is Our Responsibility as a Church?

As Christians, we should understand the concept of adoption since we’re all adopted into the family of God.

As you give thanks around your tables this Thanksgiving for the blessings and the families God has given you, who do you need to reach out to who longs for a family of their own— the orphans, the empty-arms parents, the pregnant women trying to decide what to do with her baby?

Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans. (Isaiah 1:17 NLT)

 

My daughter Kim, and other mommies-in-waiting, tell their adoption stories in Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey. We’re running a special for the remainder of November and December on this book at our website shop. If you know a couple struggling with infertility, or you are that couple, give a gift of hope and encouragement.

We officially became Brandon’s forever family on Adoption Day 2005 but he had been “ours” since he was three weeks old. By the time Adoption Day rolled around, he had a baby sister, Katelyn! God doubly blessed us all. Here he is with mommy and daddy and the judge who made it legal! What an amazing day it was and still is…

Dear-God-Why-Cant-I-Have-a-Baby11-200x300

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A Veteran Mother and Mentor

Today is Veteran’s Day . . . a day we honor all the men and women who risk their lives for our freedom. My husband and son are both veterans and I’m so proud of both of them. As Christians, we know that there is also a spiritual battle taking place all around us . . . one that tries to keep us from the freedom that comes from knowing Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.

Our guest blogger today, Brenda Nixon, is a friend, fellow Leafwood Author, and veteran mom helping Amish children who want to escape the Amish life. Brenda’s story gives quite a different perspective to the romanticized Amish novels that are so popular today. 

Brenda, hubby, and Mosie

Late at night he crept down the steps and out the door of his farm house. He walked along the shadowy country road for two miles conflicted about his decision to leave. Wearing handmade, plain clothes, and with $50 tucked into his pocket, he tearfully made his stealth escape fearing being caught and stopped, yet dreading the painful consequences if he succeeded.

Eighteen-year-old Mosie, born into a New York Amish family, one of twelve children, turned from his life and culture because “there had to be more” yet he’d later say, “I never felt so wrong and so alone.”

Mosie walked it to his English (non-Amish) neighbor’s home and used their telephone to dial another Amish runaway. “Can you get me now?” he whispered. Then he sat and waited until a car made its way down the country lane and quietly inched into the driveway. With a sigh of relief, Mosie climbed in. His contact, David, brought him to Ohio where, one year later, our lives intersected.

My husband and I met Mosie when he tagged along with other “Ex-Men” – as my daughter affectionately called them.  The group consisted of young, polite, hardworking men who’d all left the Amish life and were struggling to adapt to life “outside.”

We learned that Mosie had just received a letter from his Amish parents telling him he was not welcome back, “even for a wedding or a funeral.” He was, in essence, shunned or ostracized by his family now. A teenager with no family contact or support. My heart broke for him.

“If his parents don’t want him, we’ll take him,” I immediately said upon hearing about his rejection.

Within weeks of meeting Mosie – and after much prayer – we suggested to him that we become his English parents. “I’d like that,” he softly replied, his brown cow eyes cast downward.

Mosie moved in and lived with us for a year. During that time I “mothered” him the best I could; teaching him about personal hygiene, car insurance, dating, and other life lessons our teens take for granted. I mentored him in making new friends, tutored him in his GED studies, included him in our family vacation – his first time to see the ocean – paid for his dental care, eye exam, and other childhood necessities. I prayed for and with him, explained Bible verses, and gave him lots of “mom” hugs and verbal affirmation. The year he lived with us wasn’t easy; it was an emotional roller-coaster for everyone in our family.

After getting a job, car, and a place to permanently live, he moved out and onward. Today Mosie lives in North Carolina, is active in an Evangelical church, and has a job, home, and girlfriend. He’s happy. We recently visited him and he proudly introduced us to his new friends as “my English mom and dad.”

My husband smiles. “Now we’re seeing the end result.”

Mosie was my first. Since then God has entrusted me with Harvey, Josh, Levi, Noah, Sarah, Monroe, and more.  Although mentoring each is different as is my level of involvement, God is showing me that I can “Mother” and mentor anywhere, anytime . . . I just need to be available, sensitive to His purpose, and ready to respond. Sometimes it’s as simple as including them for holiday dinners so they’d have a home away from home; others need physical basics like a birth certificate, Social Security number, job, housing, toiletries and English clothing. Many just need a “mom” hug.

Because my experiences being a “Mom” to the ex-Amish – as Marvin first called me – I’ve begun blogging about my learning curve at www.BrendaNixonOnAmish.blogspot.com . I’ve learned there are many different Amish Orders; not all are the same, and they avoid mingling the Orders. Not all offer Rumspringa, which is a stereotype. I’ve learned the Orders are referred to as “higher” or “lower” depending upon their rules and behavior. So far my experiences are with Swartzentrubers – the most insular, punitive, and legalistic sect – the lowest Order and Old Order Amish. And they’re nothing like those in romance fiction books.

For years I’ve earned my living as a parenting speaker and author. I’ve traveled around the country speaking at family and childcare conferences and have penned books but, never did I imagine God would morph me parenting adolescents from an American sub-culture which is highly misunderstood and often idealized. It keeps me on my knees, satisfies my soul, and makes me jump for joy.

Are you in a club, school, church, employed environment or a volunteer position? God has placed you there for a purpose. I encourage you to receive the priceless experiences of “mothering” and mentoring where you are. He may pick you to be a prayer partner for someone, to “mother” a homesick college student, teach a Sunday school class, start a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group, visit and encourage new moms, lead a Bible study, or mentor a new believer in God’s word.

Brenda’s story can be found in Moments of Miracles and Grace (Leafwood Publishers) http://www.amazon.com/Miracles-Moments-Grace-Inspiring-Stories/dp/0891124047. Visit me at www.BrendaNixonOnAmish.blogspot.com, learn a bit, break stereotypes, and leave your comments. Perhaps you might even want to wrap your heart and arms around an ex-Amish.

 

Brenda, Mom to the ex-Amish

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