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Love Song Couples Getaway

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God’s Call?

Last fall, I was browsing Facebook and the web looking for a picture of the Harvest Crusade for a power point presentation to accompany my testimony at a retreat. 20 years ago, I rededicated my life to Christ at a Harvest Crusade led by Pastor Greg Laurie. When Pastor Greg asked if we were ready to die tonight, I knew at that time my answer would have been, “No.” Even though I had accepted Christ as my Savior at the age of twelve, as a divorced single mom I had spent many years backsliding.

On the Harvest Crusade Facebook page, there was a picture of Pastor Greg Laurie, so I decided to “Like” his Facebook page and saw that he was speaking in Maui in May 2013 at an event called The Love Song Couples Getaway at the Grand Wailea in Maui.

The Love Song Couples Getaway sounded like a perfect way to celebrate and commemorate two major life events. The same night I rededicated my life at the Harvest Crusade, I also heard God telling me to rededicate myself to the godly man He had given me to date, Dave! I did, and we were married 6 months later. So it was not only the 20th anniversary of me rededicating my life, but also our 20th wedding anniversary, which we had talked about celebrating in Hawaii. And Pastor Greg was going to be speaking at the Getaway…this had to be God!

I presented all this to Dave and he said, no. I told him that Mac Powell from Third Day would be leading worship, along with Chris August and Leeland, but still he felt it was too extravagant. So I gave up the cause . . . until December when I saw that they were having a Christmas discount. I again approached Dave, and this time he was more receptive. Several days later, he booked us to go!

The Witness

I was able to witness to so many people about why I thought God was leading us to take this trip. I told them about rededicating my life to God at the Harvest Crusade twenty years ago and that Pastor Greg Laurie would be speaking at the event in Maui, which just happened to coincide with our 20th wedding anniversary. Then I told them about how I had broken up with Dave before the Crusade, but that night we had sat in his car hashing out our relationship until the parking lot of Anaheim Stadium emptied, and how I felt God calling me to rededicate myself to Dave. I told versions of this story to people at the grocery store, hairdressers, family, friends, friends’ of friends, strangers . . . anyone who asked where we were going on vacation! It became quite a testimony.

A Glimpse of Heaven

The trip seemed so far off when we booked it last December, but May 23 we took off for the best vacation of our lives! Imagine Mac Powell, Chris August, and Leeland playing worship music on the sprawling lawn in front of the Grand Wailea chapel with the soft sound of the ocean waves accompanying them, or watching a beautiful Hawaiian sunset while listening to a worship concert by one of these amazing godly musicians. Or listening to Greg Laurie or Pastor Jim Wright (from Oregon) talk about our marriage relationship and our relationship with the Lord.

We all wore blue wristbands for admission into the Love Song events, but the wristbands also allowed us to identify each other on and off the resort. We made many new friends from all over the United States, Canada, and Australia because when you saw the wristbands, you knew this person was “family” . . . the family of God.

It was a glimpse of heaven: a tropical paradise with amazing Christian worship music morning and night and fellowshipping with hundreds of Christian believers.

When they announced where the trip would be next year—back to Maui or Paradise Island in the Bahamas—Dave was one of the first to jump out of his seat to sign up for the Bahamas.

If you’re looking for a vacation that combines Christian teaching, worship music, lots of free time, a chance to make new friends, or just be alone in a beautiful oasis, we highly recommend this God-centered vacation. The young couple orchestrating Love Song Couples Getaway feels it is their ministry to provide outstanding Christian getaways for couples. Dave and I would agree they are definitely fulfilling God’s call!

Mac Powell of Third Day and me                    Getting a book signed by Pastor Greg Laurie

Our first day                                                                             Making new friends

June 17, 2013
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The Wonders of Prayerful Handholding

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You’ve probably noticed that I’ve had guest bloggers the past three weeks while I was on vacation and participating in our churches VBS with my grandkids. A big thank you to Julie Sanders and Stephanie Shott for their great guest blogs. In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing the many God wonders from our vacation and VBS adventures, starting with today’s blog post.

Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.—Psalm 40:5

 

The Wonders of Prayerful Handholding!

“Bless you both,” I heard as my husband, Dave, and I opened our eyes after praying over our dinner in the Seattle airport food court. I looked up to see an elderly gentleman and his wife beaming at us from the next table. In an instant, we all knew that we shared something in common—God! When we acknowledged the husband’s comment, his wife gleefully added, “And I said to my husband, ‘Look they’re holding hands while they pray!’”.

As we chatted with the couple, we learned that they were waiting to board a plane to Orange County, our former home, and they were traveling from Canada. I later told Dave that I have always wanted to acknowledge others praying over their meal when we’re out to eat, but I never knew exactly what to say that wouldn’t be intrusive—now I knew exactly what to say!

Backing up a bit…earlier that morning, Dave and I had again held hands and prayed as we sat in the Boise airport anticipating a long travel day with a seven hour layover in Seattle on our way to Maui. We asked God to use our long waits and travel times to His glory and that He would have us encounter the people He wanted us to meet. As we said “Amen,” I heard a familiar voice calling my name and it was the sweet receptionist at our Garden Valley Clinic. She was on her way to Texas, and as we chatted together she told us of her friend she was going to help move back to Idaho, and we were able to share with her about a group we are starting in our home that might help her friend.

After sixteen hours of travel and a four hour time change, we finally made it to the beautiful island of Maui ready to enjoy a week at the Love Song Couples Getaway at the Grand Wailea Resort. Since it took us a day of travel and we arrived late at night, we had decided to go two days early and spend our first two nights before the Getaway started at a less expensive hotel near the airport on a different part of the island than the Grand Wailea.

Our first morning in this “tropical paradise,” we headed down to the hotel’s restaurant for my favorite Hawaiian breakfast: pancakes with coconut syrup.  While savoring every bite, I noticed that a couple who had just been seated at the table next to us were holding hands and praying before their meal, as Dave and I had done before they arrived. Here is my chance to try out my acknowledgement greeting.

So when I heard “Amen,” I said to them “Bless you both.” They looked a little surprised at first, but as the conversation ensued, it turned out they too were from Orange County and were also headed to the Love Song Couples Getaway, and like us, had decided to come in two days early and stay near the airport! What are the chances of that? Hmmm, God was really answering our prayer to orchestrate who He wanted us to meet.

The next day at the same restaurant for breakfast, I noticed another couple sitting next to us and they were finishing their meal as we sat down. Dave and I ordered and then held hands and prayed a blessing over our food. As the couple got up to leave, I noticed the husband gave us a kind acknowledging smile.

Later that day, we checked out of our hotel and checked into the Grand Wailea, where the Love Song Couples Getaway was being held. And who should we see in the lobby but the same couple we had seen that morning at breakfast! It turns out that they had watched us pray over our meal and the wife had said to the husband, “Why don’t we hold hands while we pray?”

Thousands of tourists are on the island of Maui ever day…what are the chances that we would meet two couples going to the same retreat we were who were staying the first two night on the same part of the island that we did, and that we would eat breakfast in the same place at the same time, and that holding hands while we prayed would be our connecting factor.

We became great friends with both of these couples while we were at the Getaway and thanks to Facebook and email, we’ll stay friends across the miles. As other couples asked us how we met each other, it gave us another opportunity to share our story of the wonders of God using handholding while praying.

I have so much to tell you about the Love Song Couples Getaway, which I will in upcoming blogs, but let me salt you with saying it was the best, God-filled vacation we have ever had and we’ve already signed up to go next year to the Bahamas with them. This vacation was better than our expectations and a wise investment of our time and resources to enhance our marriage and draw us closer to each other and God.

Do you hold hands with your spouse when you pray?

Dave and I have held hands praying since before we were married…we hold hands whenever we pray whether it be in church, over a meal anywhere and everywhere… yes even over pizza…and when we pray together at home. We also hold hands with our friends, family, kids, grandkids, visitors . . . whoever is in the circle of breaking bread together when we pray over a meal. There’s a unity that comes from clasping our hands in another’s and lifting your heart to the Lord together. And who knows….God just might use it as your witness and help you make new friends!

You might enjoy looking over some tips for Praying as a Couple that I included in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter.

June 10, 2013
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Growing a Life While Growing a Family

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I’ve invited fellow The M.O.M. Initiative Mentor Mom, Julie Sanders, back to share more about her new e-book Expectant. Her writing has been published in Declare His Name, in magazines such as The Message, P31 Woman, and in adult and children’s Bible curriculum. Julie is committed to teaching God’s word in a personal and relevant way that gives women confidence to walk out faith in life.

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As the weeks progressed, my skin stretched to capacity and I grew bigger. My heart was full with expectation about our child and motherhood. When the time came for the class session about C-sections and surgery, our instructor prepared to show a video to the parents-to-be. Never one to enjoy the inside story of the human body, I told my husband it was time for me to excuse myself from the final class. I ran out. Taken by surprise, he ultimately joined me in the hall, and we went home. After all, I insisted, a C-section wasn’t something we needed to know about.

One emergency C-section later, I wondered if that final class might have prepared me for a finale and a beginning I did not expect. As gradually as my stretch marks had appeared, my expectations expanded with each new outcome, challenge, and dilemma of being a mother. “How could anyone prepare for this?” I wondered from my hospital bed. Would the Birthing Class video have shown me what it looks like to meet your baby through the window of an incubator?  First time mothers, and even experienced mothers, often find their journey into parenting thrusts them into a world they didn’t anticipate and  aren’t ready for.

It doesn’t take long for a mom to realize motherhood is as much about growing her own life as it is about growing her family. While a woman may want to make plans, anticipate changes, and avoid the unpredictable, each day will be sprinkled with the unexpected like toys on a living room floor. Her body, her adult relationships, her new child, and her normal life will take on a new life.

Magazine images of well-groomed women with cherub-like babes fool us into expecting a baby-book ready experience we can post on Facebook. Each woman’s story is unique, but every woman’s heart is expectant.

What can a woman know for sure as she steps gingerly through the passageway of motherhood through pregnancy, foster care, adoption, or another open door?  She can know that while her own expectations are stretched, God is fully aware of every contraction, emergency, failed adoption, heart ache, longing, weakness, joy, victory:  all of it.  He knows.  Every mother and child can say to the heavenly Father, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:16) He knows, He is involved, and He works for our good.

Every mother’s expectant heart stretches with all she hopes and dreams for her child and herself.  She will not be alone. The One who saw her child before she did and wrote the days of their life in His own story book, will be with her as she discovers that mothering was everything and more than she expected.

About Julie Sanders

Julie’s first baby has grown up and gone off to college and the second is close behind. Having a baby looked different than she expected, but the motherhood journey has exceeded all she imagined. The hard won truths she discovered in becoming a mom have stayed with her while living and serving around the world, finding that moms everywhere share the same expectations in growing a family. As a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader, Julie enjoys walking the path of motherhood with moms in all seasons. When her small group of six young wives began adding children to their homes, she was inspired to write a collection of devotions that would speak to their expectant hearts.

Connect with Julie at Come Have a Peace if you would like to have Julie partner with you in your next retreat, MOPS meeting, special event, or leadership training event. Julie also writes for The MOM Initiative, Do Not Depart, and Exemplify Online.

Stop by EXPECTANT to purchase EXPECTANT for $4.99 on Kindle, iPad, or for use with the Kindle App.

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June 3, 2013
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Mentoring: It’s a Beautiful Thing!

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I am thrilled to introduce my guest today on the Monday Morning Blog. Stephanie Shott is the founder of  The M.O.M. Initiative, and I am on the Mentor Mom’s Team. Stephanie and I share the same heart and passion for mentoring, and we have walked many of the same journeys. When we met last March at the Mentor Moms Team Retreat, it was as if I was hearing myself speak and looking in the mirror 18 years ago when God first gave me the call to “Feed My sheep”.

Stephanie is the age I was when I started Woman to Woman Mentoring and I’ve often asked God who was going to carry on my legacy of helping women understand Titus 2:3-5 and apply it to their lives. I know it was a God-thing that put Stephanie and me together across the miles. Stephanie lives in Florida and I’m in Idaho…miles apart in distance…but oh so close in Spirit and love for Jesus! Here’s Stephanie…..

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As the sun began to sneak a peek through the horizontal lines of my mini blinds, I was reminded that another hectic day awaited me. It wasn’t easy being an early bird and a night owl in the same skin, but as a single mom who was struggling to be all and do all, I didn’t have a choice.

Each day held its own basket full of burdens for a girl who wore too many hats and didn’t realize the significance of her role as a mother. I was a single mom without Christ, without a clue, and without a mentor.

As the years passed, I married, and not long after that I became a Christian. Everything changed except for the fact that I still didn’t have a mentor and I barely had a clue.

That was twenty-five years ago and as I reflect back on the seasons of my life, I can’t help but wonder where all the mentors were when I was raising my children. I remember looking up to several women in the church but was somehow unable to wiggle my way under their wing.

Occasionally, I noticed older women walking through a season of life with a younger woman and couldn’t help but think, “What a beautiful thing!”

Perhaps I wasn’t trying hard enough. Maybe they just didn’t notice my need – but I was definitely in need of their words of wisdom as I walked through those important days of motherhood.

But times have changed and while many women still struggle with the whole mentoring thing, there seems to be a resurgence of women who understand the Titus 2 mandate is not only a calling to fulfill but it’s packed with the purpose of leaving a legacy of faith.

The tide is turning and Titus 2 seems to be gaining ground in the hearts of women on both sides of the mentor equation. Women are not only noticing their own need for a mentor, but those who are older are rising up to make a mark on the next generation.

  • It’s a beautiful thing to see women mentor other women through various seasons of life.
  • It’s a beautiful thing to hear how one woman has helped a young college student successfully sort through the decisions that lie before her.
  • It’s a beautiful thing to see a woman be a shoulder to cry on and a heart to listen while a younger woman walks through a painful place in her life.
  • It’s a beautiful thing to hear how a single mom who was struggling to be all and do all found a friend who was older and a bit wiser, and who was willing to step in and help her through those trying times.
  • It’s a beautiful thing to see a sea of women who understand that mentors matter and are now ready and willing to take on that very important role.

When I started The M.O.M. Initiative, I wasn’t sure how women were going to respond. My experience in the 80’s left me wondering if our culture has somehow become so isolated that women wouldn’t even consider mentoring. But what I have found is the opposite is true.

Women are not only longing to be mentored, but mentors are longing to step into their God-given Titus 2 roles and make a difference for such a time as this. Seeing women mentoring others to leave a legacy of faith and change the world one life at a time…well, that truly is a beautiful thing!

Stephanie Shott is the founder of The M.O.M. Initiative

Leading Women to Live Full, Fearless and Faithful Lives
Founder of The M.O.M. Initiative
Author of: Ecclesiastes: Understanding What Matters Most

 

May 27, 2013
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Who Needs to Hear Your Story?

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Sharing Your Story

Another term for “your story” is “your testimony.” A testimony focuses on God, not us. It describes our lives before we turned them over—or returned—to God and on how He changed and transformed us. Your story doesn’t have to have a “happy ending” for you to share it. We give our testimonies to show God’s faithfulness in spite of the circumstances, to let others know they’re not alone, and maybe just to stop someone else from making the same mistakes we did.

When people tell me their hardships, I often advise them to begin journaling because it’s recording the story that will become their testimony.  We must be willing to share our hurts and hang-ups and how God helped us through difficult times. It’s our witness to His faithfulness. It’s the opportunity to give purpose to a crisis. Otherwise, we spend our lives feeling sorry for ourselves. Revealing is the first step to healing.

The Bible tells us that“the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). Hidden sin has us in a death grip that will kill us from the inside out. But exposed sin loses its power. We don’t have to worry about others finding out about our past. We can “Thank God we’ve started listening to a new master, one whose commands set us free to live openly in his freedom!” (personalized from Romans 6:18 The Message). One of the steps in most recovery programs is openly telling one’s testimony to a group. Public sharing frees us and allows God to minister to someone in the audience who is going through something similar.

When I told people I was writing Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter and would be including my daughter Kim’s story, they often asked, “How does she feel about that?” I assured them she wanted her story told to help others and, in fact, wrote portions in her own words:

Mom, I want to share my story in your book because you also need my perspective. How can you effectively write about you and me if you don’t know what I was feeling? You can’t teach others what to do correctly if you don’t know what works and doesn’t work with kids. I’m so thankful I’ve come to know the Lord, that my life is so blessed, and that I didn’t make too many serious mistakes along the way. If I can help you save one daughter by sharing my story, then that’s what I want to do!

Your testimony won’t always be shared in a public setting. God will bring people across your path and the Holy Spirit will prompt you to share one-on-one. When people ask Kim and me how we made it through, the best answer we can give them is, “We couldn’t have done it without God.”  And that’s your best answer too!

Kim and I had the opportunity to share “Our Story” at a Mother Daughter Tea at The Journey Church the Saturday before Mother’s Day. Watching my sweet daughter articulately share her prodigal journey as I shared mine, I could only imagine how God was smiling down on us. So many women came up and thanked us for being open and vulnerable.

What story is God asking you to tell and who needs to hear it? In all of my books, I give others the opportunity to have a venue for telling their story. I am currently receiving stories for my next three books. If any of these titles spark your interest, please contact me.

  • How Good is God? I Can’t Remember….10 Ways to Never Forget God’s Faithfulness
  • Dear God, Life is Hard
  • Mentoring: A Way of Life from the Pulpit to the Pew

 

You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14–16 The Message)

 

Excerpts in this article are taken from Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter.

 Kim and me Mother's Day Tea
Kim and me sharing “Our Story” at The Journey Church Mother’s Day Tea
May 20, 2013
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Interview with Julie Sanders, Author of “Expectant”

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Today’s blog post is an interview with Julie Sanders, my fellow Mentor Mom for The M.O.M. Initiative,  about her new E-book release,  EXPECTANT:  40 Devotions for New and Expectant Moms

Tell us what we can expect from EXPECTANT.

EXPECTANT is a collection of 40 devotions for new and expectant moms that uses transparent stories and biblical truth to offer hope and wisdom to women transitioning into motherhood. If you have dreams and hopes of what mothering will be, your heart is already Expectant.

Women enter motherhood in a variety of ways, so EXPECTANT shares encouragement for every mom as she grows into being a mother. That may mean she grows a pregnant belly or a home study for adoption, but she will grow. By talking about real issues like changes in your body, your marriage, your work, and your schedule, EXPECTANT helps new moms think through necessary transitions to find hope and confidence right there on the changing table or playground.

Like spending time with a loving, honest mentor over coffee, EXPECTANT uplifts women. The devotions are organized into sections about you, other grown-ups, the baby, and your new normal. Each one includes words from Scripture to grow your heart, as well as questions to get the conversation started with a friend, mentor, or dad-to-be. It’s formatted so that it would be easy to do with a partner or small group of moms.

Each journey into motherhood is unique, but every mother’s heart is expectant.

How is motherhood different than you expected?

I knew I would love our children, but I never imagined how much I would enjoy our children. Every season has been amazing, but moving through the changes of childhood, along with the accidents and surprises, has kept me prayerful. Being a mom is great for your prayer life!

Being a mom has stretched me more personally than I ever expected. God uses motherhood to expose my weaknesses, my failures, and my sin. While I’ve been watching our kids grow, God has been growing my heart and life.

What are some of your favorite motherhood books?

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp is foundational. Sharon Jaynes’ book Being a Great Mom, Raising Great Kids really challenged me when I was deep in the elementary years. I was so inspired to make the most of time with our kids. Vicki Courtney’s 5 Conversations books for boys and for girls gave me direction as JoHanna and Jacob were growing, especially since I never had a brother. I needed the wisdom from those authors!

One thing I’ve learned as a mom is that I should never stop learning, so I’m always excited to find a new book or resource to make me a better mom. If I ever think I’ve got all the bases covered, something changes and I’m sent to my knees, searching for wisdom!

Your website is called Come have a Peace. How do you find peace as a mother?

I’m convinced God means for us to live out our days experiencing His peace in the practical, real life, relational stuff of our days. For a mom, it seems impossible sometimes, but we aren’t meant to stay in heavy, discouraged places on our mothering journey. We’re meant to find peace, and Jesus said we find it in Him, (John 16:33). Mamas need that message all day, every day, and often through the night.

God has used major transitions, distance from family, and multiple crises in our lives to show me my “peaceful mom’s heart” does not depend on my circumstances. I’ve become a “pray all day” kinda mom who cries out often and openly to the only perfect Parent we know, God Himself. I’ve learned to give myself a lot of grace and let myself off the hook of expecting perfection, refusing to compare myself to moms around me. (Remind me of that, will you?) And I give our kids a lot of grace, trying to keep the “big picture” in mind as God unfolds His plans for them. He’s doing a great job with them!

The greatest complement I receive is when our kids have friends over and they say, “Your house is so … peaceful.”  Love that!

What was most difficult for you during the “young years?”  How did you grow as a mother?

When I delivered our first baby, it was quite a finale to our pregnancy! Nothing happened the way we anticipated. I was left with fear and disappointment, and it took a long time for me to feel whole again. Feeling fragile was not only hard, it wasn’t what I expected.

I always wanted to have children, but I also loved being a teacher. Making a transition to spending the day with the baby at home was not as easy as I thought it would be, and before long I found myself overcommitted and worn out. I was challenged to take a close look at where I found my identity and where I placed my trust. Motherhood turned out to be as much about growing me as growing our children.

It seems like women in their early twenties are discouraged to become a mother so young. What type of encouragement do you have for young couples ready to become parents?

No one is every fully prepared to be a mom, but giving yourself a chance to grow and mature in wisdom helps you be the best mom you can be and want to be. God is able to do extraordinary things with moms who start as ordinary women. If you wait until you’re perfect and have a well-padded portfolio and house with a fence, you might wait a long time.

A wise mentor once encouraged me not to rush through the sweet years of just being a couple. Strengthen your oneness during your pre-child season, and you’ll be better parents when the time comes. As you enter parenthood, you’ll find that it’s a lot about growing yourselves while growing your family.

I’m thankful my mentor slowed us down; God’s timing is unique for everyone. Seek Him together. The most important part of the decision about when to start a family is unity between the mom and dad-to-be. It’s never worth it for one anxious spouse to push the other forward. Your hearts must be longing and expectant together.

Will you be overwhelmed if you start young? Every mom is overwhelmed at times, regardless of age, but God will be there to Father you lovingly into an experience more amazing than you ever imagined. He has a tender place in His heart for moms, and He knows all you hope and all you anticipate, (Isaiah 40:11). He is the one who has grown your mama’s heart to be so EXPECTANT.

Stop by the EXPECTANT page to find out more and to purchase your copy for $4.99 on Kindle or for use on the Kindle App.

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May 13, 2013
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Mother’s Day: Happy or Hurting

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“I hate Mother’s Day!” said my dear friend who is longing for a baby. “You know that women struggling with infertility don’t go to church on Mother’s Day.” Kris agrees, “I was that mom-in-waiting for 16 years; I stayed away from baby showers, church, and friends who would get pregnant. I didn’t stop praying, but it WAS the worse pain.” Lisa concurs, “I am guilty of having skipped church a few years before we adopted my son.”

In my book, Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey, my own daughter wrote about her painful Mother’s Day experience:

Dear God,

It’s almost Mother’s Day and I don’t know if I can handle seeing all those happy moms at church and brunch. I’m trying to focus on my mom and not think about how I’m missing out on being a mommy on yet another Mother’s Day. This year is especially hard since we’ve been trying to be parents for so long and so hard, only to be repeatedly disappointed. At the store looking for a card for my mom, I see the cute cards at the end of the aisle “To Mommy”…oh God, I wish I were someone’s mommy! I look away and continue focusing at the task ahead, getting my mom and mothers-in-law their cards.

Today’s the day, it’s Mother’s Day. I don’t think I can bear it. It’s just begun and already I want this day over. I pull myself out of bed and get ready for church. I’m not looking forward to the sermon about children being a blessing and honoring mothers. God, help me focus on my mom.

We met my parents at church and I put on my happy face, when inside I was crying watching all the mothers with big smiles dressed in pretty spring dresses and children running all around. This was a day of celebration and I just wanted to go back to bed. The pastor started the message with asking all the mothers to stand up. Hundreds of women stood and everyone applauded. I couldn’t take it any longer and sat slouched over in my seat quietly crying. Toby put his arm around me and my mom held my hand, but nothing took away the pain. I barely heard the rest of the message.

After brunch, I came home, collapsed on my bed, and cried myself to sleep where I remained the rest of the day. God, please don’t make me go through another Mother’s Day with this hole in my heart. I want to stand up in church with all those other mothers beaming from ear to ear and have everyone applaud me. God, please let me stand up next year.

Mother’s Day is especially hard for mommies-in-waiting, but for most of these women, every day is hard. With 1 in 6 couples experiencing infertility, you are, or know, a woman experiencing this heartache. Often we don’t know what to say to them, so we say nothing, or maybe unintentionally say something that makes them feel worse. Kris, who I mentioned in the opening paragraph, says, “We cannot ignore them [women longing for a child]. I know how hard it was for people to talk to me. But I would have loved it if they did.”

In Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby?, I offer tools to help you know the “Top Fifteen Things Not to Say or Do And To Say or Do to Someone Experiencing Infertility.” This list is also on the Infertility Support page on my website.

When I was writing the book, women often told me that the place they felt the loneliest was the church. That breaks my heart.  Jesus said he came for the sick, and that includes heartsick. The church should be a safe place for the hurting, not a place where they feel shunned or outcast.  How does your church comfort mommies-in-waiting on Mother’s Day and every day?

Mothers of Prodigals

Another group of women who will be hurting on Mother’s Day are the mothers of prodigals. They may not even know where there child is, or know all too well where they are and what they are doing that breaks a mother’s heart and the heart of God. These moms also need comforting, a hug, a reminder that this day is for them too and they are not forgotten or ignored.

I was that hurting mom and in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, I tell the story of praying daily that my daughter would find her way back to God, and six years later, she did. This Mother’s Day weekend she and I will be sharing our story at a Mother/Daughter tea. I’ve had a vision of us doing this for many years and prayed expectantly that God would bring my dream to life, and He has.

And Kim who was that heartsick mommy-in-waiting on Mother’s Day is now blessed with a family, but when we speak to the women God brings to this Mother’s Day Tea, neither of us will ever forget what it felt like to be hurting on Mother’s Day. We will speak with caring and compassion a comforting message of hope in God’s plan and timing. We won’t ignore these women, we will love on them!

I hope that you will do the same for the mommies-in-waiting, the moms of prodigals, or the moms who have lost a daughter or a son who may need a shoulder to cry on . . . a prayer . . . an understanding hug. If you’ve been where they’re at, mentor them like only someone who has been in their shoes can. If you haven’t been in their shoes, just let them know you can’t possibly understand, but you’re there for them and God is too!

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

NOTE: Besides not knowing what to say, many of us don’t know what to give a mommy-in-waiting or a mom of a prodigal, and so we usually give them nothing. The books I have written for these women are full of hope and encouragement from the voices of other women who have walked the same journey, as well as from God’s Love Letter.  So for the month of May I’m running a sale on my website for Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? and Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Another helpful book might be Face-to-Face with Sarah, Rachel, and Hannah: Pleading with God. I will sign and personalize each book.

May 6, 2013
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Dear God, He’s Home Trailer!

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April 30, 2013
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Sisters in Christ

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My husband, Dave, and I have just returned from a three-week road trip to California and Oregon. The purpose of our trip was for me to speak at the Christian Ministries Training Association’s annual conference in Pasadena, CA, and at LifeWay’s You Lead event in Eugene, OR. Along the way, we visited with friends and family.

When Dave and I were first married, we prayed for God to bring us Christian friends we could enjoy together as a couple. We each came from divorce and it’s often uncomfortable being around couples that were friends with your former spouse. God has continued to answer our prayer over our twenty years of marriage and we have a multitude of Christian friends in both California and Idaho. What we have noticed is how these friendships traverse time and distance. When we return to California we pick up right where we left off . . . almost as if we never left.

In the family of God, we share a common bond that binds us together across the miles and over the years.

When I speak to groups of Christian women, that same bond is evident. It’s as if there is an unspoken sisterhood. We share a common love for Jesus and reach out to each other with that love. I’m always welcomed with gratitude for the time I’ve spent preparing and the energy I put into presenting. I take a personal interest in helping each woman work on her ministry and relationship with Jesus.

Usually, I’ve never met these women, but by the end of my session or sessions or retreat or conference, I’ve made new friends. During my time with them, I’ll point out that we are all sisters in Christ with the same heavenly Father, and I’ll have them turn to each other and say: “Hey sis, did you know we have the same Father?” It makes them smile and laugh, but it also brings home the point that Christians are all in the family of God.

Dawn Stephenson, a LifeWay trainer and women’s ministry director who was also a trainer at You Lead with me in Eugene, explains it like this: “Amazing how God weaves our relationships together for our good and His glory!”

In my Bible study Face-to-Face with Mary and Martha: Sisters in Christ I point out that:

In spite of the scene in Luke 10:38-42, Mary and Martha were very much a part of each other’s lives, and perhaps were friends as well as sisters: the Scriptures always mention them together. Like Mary and Martha and the sisters in this Bible study, sisters who share a family heritage often remain close throughout life. However, sisters also can go separate ways as adults. But sisters in Christ have a spiritual heritage that is often stronger than blood ties.

I’d love to hear about your sisters in Christ and the role they play in your life. I wish I had a closer relationship with my blood sister, but I’m so grateful that I share with so many sisters in Christ the love for Jesus who shed His blood for each of us.

 

PS I’m writing a new book with a working title of How Good is God? I Can’t Remember . . . 10 Ways to Never Forget God’s Faithfulness. If you have a story of forgetting God’s goodness (and don’t we all) or ways that help you remember God’s faithfulness, I’d love to see your story for consideration in the book. You can reach me from the website or leave a comment here.

April 29, 2013
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5 Things You Should Know About “Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man”

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1. It’s humorous.

When I was writing the book and telling people about it, there was always laughter and chuckles. My husband noticed this and asked me if it was going to be a funny book. I told him there would be some funny parts . . . but the book wouldn’t portray husbands in a negative light or poke fun at them.

Sometimes the best way to handle a transition or new situation is to laugh—at yourself and the circumstances. The humor comes from our humanness and some of the crazy things we do and say. God will turn your tears into laughter, and your mourning into dancing, if you let Him (Ecclesasties 4:10)

2. It’s also serious.

The book had to include serious moments because the circumstances that bring a husband home are often very serious—illness, accidents, disability, layoffs, PTSD, unplanned retirement . . . just to name a few. And the transitions that the wife and husband experience can at times be serious. God takes our problems and trials seriously (Matthew 11:28), so the book includes Love Letters from God (personalized Scripture) and Let’s Pray (prayers to personalize).

3. It’s been described as “raw.”

I am open, vulnerable, and “real” when sharing about myself, but always make sure to give God the glory for the amazing things He has done in my life. My tagline is “Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness,” and that’s the heart of mentoring—my passion and my purpose. So I do discuss my fears, inadequacies, anxious moments, and difficulties in adjusting to our new 24/7 lifestyle, as do the women sharing their stories in the book. In our weakness, God’s strength prevails (1 Corinthians 4:10).

4. It contains questions for couples, small groups, & readers’ groups.

My vision for the book is that it will encourage husbands and wives to talk about their “issues.” Often problems escalate for lack of communication. It also would be advantageous for women with stay-at-home men to form support/small groups or couples’ groups: there’s a leader’s guide included to help facilitate the group. This would be a perfect book for book clubs. God tells us to meet together and encourage each other (Hebrews 10:25).

5. It features my husband as the hero of the book, but he says he’s the “sacrificial lamb.”

My husband graciously allowed me to share our lives and hearts with the readers. He also wrote the epilogue to give a window into his experience as a stay-at-home man. He is my helpmate and my biggest encourager. I could not do the things God has led me to do without my husband cheering me one. As God has ordained for marriage, we truly have become one (Mark 10:8).

To read a snippet.

To learn more about Dear God, He’s Home!

April 22, 2013
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