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Forgiveness. . . . Forgiveness. . . .

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Rick Warren on Twitter: “Someone on the internet sold Matthew an unregistered gun. I pray he seeks God’s forgiveness. I forgive him.

MATTHEW 6:15″

Like us, many of you were saddened and shocked to learn of the loss of Pastor Rick Warren’s 27-year old son, Matthew, who took his own life after suffering for years with depression and mental illness.

Pastor Rick is like extended family to my husband Dave and me. Dave and I attended Saddleback Church for over 23 years, and twenty years ago, we met each other in a small group. We’ve watched Saddleback church grow from meeting in a high school gym, to the mega church the world knows today.

Pastor Rick will always be “our pastor.” Even though we have since moved to another state and are members of a church in our community . . . . we’re still all in the family of God. And so it is that Dave and I mourn and grieve with Pastor Rick and Kay and our extended Saddleback family.

The Grieving Process Can Lead To or Away from God

Matthew took his own life with a purchased gun, but someone took my father’s life with his own gun. He was a California Highway Patrolman killed in the line of duty while trying to help the very man who killed him. My father had chosen a career protecting his community. He died two weeks before his 37th birthday doing exactly what he had signed on to do.

My mother shook her fist at God and said no just God would ever allow this to happen. I watched my mother’s bitterness and anger cause her to deteriorate emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally . . . resulting in a difficult childhood for my sister and me. Praise God, two years after my father’s death, I was invited to a church youth camp where I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

But when I became an adult, mom and I were estranged for 15 years. Then one of Pastor Rick’s sermons went straight to my heart when he said, “You’ll never experience true love if there’s someone in your life you haven’t forgiven.” I had been a single mom for 17 years and realized that if I didn’t forgive my mom, I would probably never have a happy marriage relationship. I did forgive her and within months, met my wonderful godly husband Dave.

Misconceptions Stop Us from Forgiving

In my Bible study, Face-to-Face with Euodia and Syntyche: From Conflict to Community, I discuss the myths about forgiveness and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation:

FORGIVENESS is not allowing anyone else to control your emotional life except GOD!

FORGIVENESS is VERTICAL between God and you.

RECONCILIATION is HORIZONTAL between you and the other person

If you’re struggling with forgiveness or difficult relationships, studying Face-to-Face with Euodia and Syntyche will help you discover biblical ways of resolving conflict. Here are several of the myths that prevent us from granting unconditional forgiveness:

FORGIVENESS MYTHS I LEARNED FROM PASTOR RICK

MYTH #1:  Forgiveness must be quick like God’s forgiveness.


TRUTH: Forgiveness is a process.

MYTH #2:  If I forgive, that means that the offense was “ok.”

TRUTH: Forgiveness does not make sin into good. Sin is never “ok.”

MYTH #3:  I cannot forgive until I can forget, just like God does.

TRUTH: We are not God. When God forgives, He doesn’t need to learn anything. We do!

MYTH #4:  If I forgive, I have to reconcile with the person.

TRUTH: You do not have to be reconciled to forgive, but you do have to be able to forgive in order to reconcile.

“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges” (Colossians 3:13 TLB).

Who do you need to forgive so you can be free from the chains of bitterness and anger? You can do it! Listen to Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness” ,which starts out…

It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don’t deserve

It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have to say the word…

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

April 15, 2013
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The Magnet Syndrome!

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My retired husband is constantly coming up to me asking, “What are you doing?” He said he can’t stay away—he’s drawn to me like a magnet.—Mariann

Dear God,

When we were first married, Dave literally followed me around the house wanting to do everything with me. He didn’t have any friends or interests beside his job, golf, and me. We quickly remedied that dilemma by finding him friends, serving at church, and starting guitar lessons—the guitar eventually fell by the wayside.

Now that he’s retired and home 24/7, I’m reliving those early years: it seems like every time I turn around, I’m running into him right behind me, or he’s occupying the same space I’m trying to claim. I can’t make a move without him showing up. I try having my “quiet time” outside, only to look up and see him coming out with his Bible ready to settle in across the table from me . . . which would be OK accept he doesn’t read quietly . . . he talks . . . .

I get up early and go for my walk, expecting him to be done in the kitchen when I return. To my chagrin, he doesn’t think about eating breakfast, until I do! If I get my vitamins out of the cupboard, he needs his. Bottles fall and pills fly as we reach around each other trying to grab ours off the shelf.

When I go into the bathroom to put on my makeup and dry my hair, he remembers he needs to shave. Since we only have one sink and mirror, that’s a big problem. Last night, I was trying to take a shower, and he had to go to the bathroom, even though he had just been in there flossing his teeth!

It’s like having a perpetual shadow! Lord, I need some space. Why does everything I do, trigger the exact same response in him? If I change my routine to accommodate him, he changes his routine to match mine—he’s like a magnet. Help! I love my husband, but I’m stumbling over him at every turn.

Crowded, Janet

Mentoring Moment

My friend Anita and I were walking together one morning and I was lamenting about what Dave and I now laughingly call the “Magnet Syndrome.” Anita said she and her husband, Gary, experience the same thing and then she shared the “breakfast dance” they often do in the mornings, just like Dave and me.

Anita also said she had been giving this phenomenon a lot of thought and concluded that the more time you spend together, the more you’re on the same “wave length.” You start thinking alike, your schedules are similar, and your body clocks become synchronized. You’re both hungry simultaneously and sometimes even need to use the bathroom at the same time!

Then she pointed out this is how God intended marriage: husbands and wives become as one. When we each went our separate ways during the day, we had to transition back to being “one” when we saw each other again at night. 24/7 togetherness reflects the oneness of Genesis 2:24—“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Pondering Anita’s words, I realized how right she was. Instead of operating as two separate people in a marriage, 24/7 husbands and wives truly transition into one body—spiritually and physically. Exactly what we all agreed to in our marriage vows when the pastor said, “I present to you Mr. and Mrs. _____________, (fill in your names) united in marriage. What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

*This article contains excerpts from Janet Thompson’s  Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man

April 8, 2013
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Jesus On Entertainment Tonight

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A bible, cross and lily making an Easter image

Mindlessly turning on the television and channel surfing for something to watch while cooking dinner last week, I put down the remote as I heard the name “Jesus” being used as an introduction—not in vain, the usual mode for TV and Movies. The hosts of Entertainment Tonight were actually talking excitedly about … Jesus and the Bible!

They weren’t questioning whether Jesus was real or the Bible was true. No, instead they were raving about the new TV Miniseries, The Bible, and informing their television audience that “This Sunday Jesus will meet Pontius Pilate.” Almost as if they knew Jesus and Pilate like they knew all the other celebrities and famous people they interview on their show.

They talked about the millions of people watching the series and how the first Sunday night’s airing beat out every other program on TV that night, and the next Sunday found millions tuned in to watch more of The Bible! There was no hesitation mentioning the name of Jesus. They said His name like everyone should know who He is and, of course, know the Bible that the series is based on. They weren’t embarrassed or apologetic. They were enthusiastic and passionate as they encouraged viewers to tune in next Sunday night for what’s become a “wildly-popular mini-series.”

One article about The Bible series said, “Not since Cecile B DeMille’s ‘The Ten Commandments’ has there been quite as much Biblical buzz in Hollywood.”

I have to admit, I never expected to hear Jesus proclaimed on Entertainment Tonight, but I couldn’t stop laughing and praising. Only God could take a secular TV program and use it as an advertisement for the Gospel. Only God could make the series the most watched program on TV on Sunday nights….not to mention the other nights it airs during the week. Only God could put the name of Jesus and The Bible on peoples’ tongues as they gathered around the water cooler on Monday mornings.

Only God could have given the vision for this series to Roma Downey and her husband, producer Mark Burnett, in what they describe as a “spiritual calling.”

We don’t need to make more TV,” Burnett said. “This is way more than that. . . . It’s a movement. It’s the Bible. It’s something everybody should know. Even if you don’t want to go to church, or believe, you should know these stories.” Their goal was to get people talking around the water cooler on Monday mornings and looking in their Bibles to see if that’s the way it really happened.

Of course, it’s a movie series and they’ve filled in some of the blanks where the Bible is silent, such as portraying what Sarah might have done when Abraham took Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice him. And since they’re covering Genesis to Revelation, they couldn’t hit on every story.

Here is Roma’s vision she proposed to her producer husband:

 “Mark, we should do this. We should make a TV series on the Bible. Not unconnected Bible stories, but the overarching, sweeping, loving narrative. A dramatic rendition that goes from Genesis to Revelation. We could tell that story in five two-hour episodes. We could bring it to life.”

Her husband protested: “I stared at her. It was an incredibly ambitious idea, and it’s not like we weren’t busy enough, raising three teenagers, and also producing some of the most demanding shows on TV (including The Voice and Survivor).

“How can we possibly take this on, and how can we tell this story in only ten television hours?” I asked, shaking my head.

“Think about it, Mark,” she said. “The Bible story is all the things that great television should be. It has adventure, it has drama and it has redemption.”

And that’s the story every Christian should be telling! And every Christian should be embracing this series…not criticizing it or trying to find inaccuracies…but sharing the amazing story of God brought to life in millions of viewers living rooms on Sunday night. Only God could do that!

Quotes were from a Guideposts story written by Mark Burnett himself and listening  to both Roma and Mark share their calling in a CBS interview.

March 25, 2013
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Guest Post by Kathy Howard “10 SIGNS of FLAT FAITH”

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I told her things I had always been too afraid to tell anyone before. My faith felt dead. I doubted my salvation. God seemed so distant. I saw something in Susan’s life I longed to have in mine. Her faith was vibrant and real. Even the way she talked about God demonstrated a dynamic in her relationship with Him that I lacked. I had been a Christian since childhood and actively served in church, but my face never lit up when Jesus was the topic of conversation.

While our toddlers played on the floor together nearby, I tearfully shared with Susan the doubts that had plagued me for nearly two decades. She listened with compassion, but she also challenged me to not be content with my condition.

Desperation gave way to vulnerability that day. Fed up and tired of trying to ignite my faith through my own works and activity, I humbly admitted I could not do it. Honesty with myself, Susan, and ultimately God opened the way for His activity. I could not make myself into what God wanted me to be. I could not find the abundant life Jesus promised. But God could do it all.

The encounter with Susan jump-started my journey toward a fiery faith. Along the way, God shifted a few of my attitudes and changed some of my actions to fire up my faith. God can use these same attitudes and actions to start a flame in your life.

What is Flat Faith?

The word flat can be defined as “without vitality or animation; lifeless; dull.”Many Christians with flat faith love Jesus and continue to serve Him, but they often feel as though they’re simply going through the motions of Christianity. Their love for Christ is short on passion. They serve largely out of a sense of duty or because that’s what they’ve always done. The routine of the Christian life may even feel superficial and directionless.

Although not an exhaustive list, here ten signs that may indicate your faith needs some pumping up:

  1. Relationship with Christ is not deepening and growing.
  2. Religious activities overshadow your relationship with Christ.
  3. Life of faith feels boring, tired, or overwhelming.
  4. Feeling of disconnect from God; no real sense of His presence or voice.
  5. Little excitement over or awareness of God’s activity.
  6. Little or no anticipation that God will work.
  7. Praise and worship feels dry and forced.
  8. Nagging sense you should be experiencing more.
  9. Notice fiery faith in others’ lives that you desire.
  10. Efforts and activity produce few results of eternal value.

Countless Christians experience flat faith. Some have never experienced a vibrant faith characterized by real intimacy with Christ. Flat faith is all they’ve known. Others have lost the passion for Christ they once had and desperately long to find it again.

Are You Fed Up? Let God Pump You Up!

What about you? Do you see yourself in the description above? Are you fed up? Pumped up, fiery faith is not only possible, God wants it to be yours. God never intended for our life of faith to be boring and cold. You can connect with God in real ways. You can experience His activity in and around you. Your life can bear fruit that lasts.

While we cannot grow our own faith, God expects our cooperation. He calls for our active and obedient participation in His work in our lives (1 Corinthians 9:24–27; 1 Timothy 4:7; Philippians 3:12–14). We can learn to position ourselves before God so He can accomplish in our lives the things that only He can accomplish.

The Bible is not silent about flat faith. Life examples and practical help for spiritual dryness pack the pages of Scripture. When you apply these truths to your life, you can follow God out of flat faith to a place where He can set your faith on fire!

My book, Fed Up with Flat Faith, highlights ten key attitudes and actions found in Scripture that help God’s people position themselves for Him to work in their lives. These ten practical, biblical steps of faith will shift your attitude and change your behavior to put you in the center of God’s activity.

Are you ready to let God pump up your flat faith? You don’t have to give up or pretend. You don’t have to settle. Instead, get fed up with flat faith and embrace the full life of faith Jesus offers.

This article is excerpted from the first chapter of Fed Up with Flat Faith: 10 Attitudes and Actions to Pump Up Your Faith by Kathy Howard.  Find out more about the book at http://www.kathyhoward.org/fed-up-with-flat-faith/  Fed Up with Flat Faith is available from your local Christian bookstore and all online stores.  Find out more about Kathy, her ministry, and her other books at www.kathyhoward.org.

FedUpFlatFaith_N134110

March 18, 2013
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Dear God, He’s Home! Part 2

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(This post is continued from last Monday. To read Part 1 go to March archives)

Dear God, He’s Home! Trailer

 

You, and He, Need an Outlet

When Bob retired, he bought two snowmobiles. I didn’t like those smelly things, but I didn’t want him to go alone. I was so happy when he met other snowmobilers and I didn’t have to go anymore! Then he started making friends who play golf and I gained some space to do my gardening.—Michelle

 Dear God, He's Home! T-shirt

A stay-at-home man can become a wife’s full-time job, as he tries to make her his new hobby! When does she retire from the household management or being a caregiver or parenting? Here are several creative ideas to help both of you adjust to, and even enjoy, this stay-at-home man season:

  • Develop individual hobbies, and if possible, do one together.
  • Both learn something you’ve always wanted to know how to do.
  • Leave the house on your own at least once a week.
  • Plan a weekly or monthly date together. Put it on your calendars.
  • If still parenting, join a babysitting co-op, trade off babysitting with friends, or if finances permit, hire a sitter and go have fun.
  • If you’re caring for a sick or disabled husband, ask a friend or family member to stay with him and do something for you—not just running errands and chores.
  • Exercise daily.
  • Serve as a volunteer for a charitable organization or a ministry.
  • When a husband retires, the wife retires from one home chore. Her choice.

Words of Wisdom from Wives with a Stay-at-Home Man

  • Make each day the best it can be. You don’t know how many days you’ll have left together. —Alice
  • Understand where your husband is at in his life and don’t make his retirement or at-home-experience miserable. —Alice
  • Don’t belittle or put down your husband—build him up. Find out his concerns and needs, don’t just focus on your own. —Alice
  • Communicate your needs honestly and lovingly. —Joan
  • When shopping together, pick a store that also has sporting, gardening, or electronic departments and let your husband browse or send him to find something. —Sue
  • What’s important to your spouse should also be important to you and what’s important to God should be important to both of you! —Janet (me)

My Stay-at-Home Man Shares

My husband, Dave, selflessly understood that I would have to write vulnerably and honestly about our messes and our miracles. In the Epilogue of Dear God, He’s Home!, Dave offers this closing advice:

So I leave you with these final words: Living with your spouse in stay-at-home man seasons of life, while different, is no more challenging than any other season of married life. You just have to constantly die to self as God teaches us, consider your spouse more important than yourself, and work as a team. I like the wise council I gleaned from Promise Keepers years ago and ultimately conveyed to my son, sons-in-law, and men’s small group studies—marriage isn’t a 50/50 proposition as proposed by some, but 100/0. If you give 100% and expect zero in return, you’ll grow to love your spouse as Christ loved the church, and your marriage will thrive.

This is a continuation of Part 1 posted last Monday. To read part 1 go to March archives)

March 11, 2013
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Dear God, He’s Home!

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Today, I’m doing the happy dance because tomorrow, March 5, my book Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man releases.This book is the third in the “Dear God” series. The first two are: Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey and Dear God, Why Can’t I Have a Baby? A Companion Guide for Couples on the Infertility Journey. I’ve traveled these three journeys, and my hope is to mentor, bless, and encourage other women who are on the journey now.

Last week, I received the author’s copies of Dear God, He’s Home! and holding your new “baby” never gets old. Today’s blog is part of a two-part post that will introduce you to the heart of the book. Next Monday you will hear from my stay-at-home man.

Photo: Look what was waiting for me when we got home tonight! Another baby birthed LOL:)

The wife of a stay-at-home man is going to talk to God—a lot!

Maybe she’ll write a cathartic letter in her journal: Dear God,. . . . Another wife might begin her pleading or thankful prayers with “Dear God,”. . . . Still other wives in times of desperation or frustration cry out, “Dear God, HE’S HOME!”

The various times my husband has been a “Stay-at-Home Man,” I regularly expressed each of those “Dear Gods,” as do the wives who submitted stories for my book Dear God, He’s Home! A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man. So if you have a stay-at-home man and he’s driving you crazy, don’t feel guilty if you haven’t always been joyous about this new closeness in your marriage relationship. And don’t feel alone. When I sent out a request for stories of women with a husband home due to retirement, illness, disability, out of work, home office, the military . . . whatever reason…the stories flowed into my inbox and my ears.

With unemployment at an all-time high, baby boomers reaching retirement age by the droves, military pulling out of many areas and returning home, businesses down-sizing or setting up virtual offices in homes, chances are pretty good you either are or know a woman with a stay-at-home man.

Whenever I mention the title of my book, wives smirk with raised eyebrows and knowingly remark, “Boy, do I have a story for you!” “I need this book.” “I know someone who could use this book.” Or “I’m going to need this book soon, write fast!”

Myriad emotions and reactions erupt from both spouses when an otherwise out-of-the-home-every-day husband is suddenly home all day—every day. Many wives have their own label for this occurrence. In Honey, I’m Home for Good!, Mary Ann Cook calls it spouse-in-the-house syndrome.” Then there’s retired-husband syndrome” or military reintegration syndrome.

Every couple’s response to their unique syndrome evolves from how they’ve dealt with previous transitions in their relationship. Couples who stumbled and fumbled without finding workable resolutions in the past, will probably stumble and fumble through this new situation too. However, couples who have successfully developed and implemented coping techniques may be better equipped to adjust to a full time “stay-at-home man.” Even so, unexpected issues can blindside both spouses.

There’s no age qualifier for a husband suddenly being home 24/7. Sometimes it comes as a shock and other times it’s the natural progression of expected retirement or return from deployment. But even when we know it’s coming, the reality of a hubby being home full-time can still be shocking and disarming. A woman recently wrote me:

My dad has just announced that he’ll be retiring the end of March, so I’m excited to read your book and send it along to my mom afterwards. We didn’t handle his retirement from the Marine Corps so well 20 years ago. I was just laughing about it with him on the phone today, but he has better laid plans to transition out this time around.

Planning is essential, if you have that luxury. Each time my husband has been home, it’s always been a surprise and no time to plan. It hit us both hard and we struggled through adapting to the transitions and changes we each experienced.

For Better or For Worse but Not For Lunch

There’s a universal frustration expressed by wives of stay-at-home husbands: He’s invading “my space” and my work load is increasing while his is decreasing. The prospect of fixing lunch every day can push a wife over the top.  John expresses the lament of many wives:

When I retired from the Navy (and was a stay at home retiree) my wife (after a few weeks) said, “I promised for better or worse, but I didn’t promise lunch every day. Go out and get another job. So I did…John

John J. Cline

 John

Not every husband can go out and get another job, at least not right away. Instead of feeling resentful or overwhelmed, we wives need to put into perspective issues like lunch or helping with household duties and discuss with our husbands in the same way we would discuss a major decision or planning a trip—talk it out.

Most husbands were used to eating lunch somewhere —maybe driving up to a takeout window, or sitting in a restaurant and ordering, or going to the lunchroom and eating the lunch we packed. They don’t know how to change that pattern unless we help redirect them to making their own lunches now or going out with the guys. One husband, who went from working in an office to working out of the home, still gets in his car and drives to lunch. It was what he always did and it feels right. I’m sure it feels right to his wife too!

Part 2 of Dear God, He’s Home! to be continued next Monday Morning. Have a great week. I’m going to have fun sharing my book with wives who I hope will be blessed and encouraged in this season of their lives.

We’re Running a Special for the Month of March

At our website store, you can purchase Dear God, He’s Home!  personalized and signed for only $9.99 (regular price $14.99) for the month of March.

If you would like to read the first two chapters go to this snippet.

Next week I’ll have a book trailer to share with you.

March 4, 2013
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Goodreads Book Giveaway

Dear God, He's Home! by Janet Thompson

Dear God, He’s Home!

by Janet Thompson

Giveaway ends March 16, 2013.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

 

https://womantowomanmentoring.com/2013/02/16857/

February 25, 2013
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40 Years of Love!

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“I’m sorry, but you’ll never have children.” Those were the doctor’s words to me at a post-op visit after surgery for a ruptured ovarian cyst. “Your ovaries look like those of a 90 year-old woman.” I was a twenty year-old, newly engaged college student. My life was over. Or so I thought.

After three years of marriage, I was thrilled to hear another doctor congratulate me: “You’re pregnant!” My mother called it a miracle, but I just wanted to be like any normal woman who could get pregnant and have a baby.

The last week of pregnancy, when my baby was a week overdue, everyone kept calling to see if I was “still home.” I enjoyed every moment of those 9 months and one week, and even steeled myself through a natural, long delivery, but nothing could prepare me for what it would feel like to hold my baby girl—instant, unconditional love.

I was a mom at last! But I had no concept of the life-changing responsibility I was undertaking or the importance of my being an exemplary role model for her. After all, she was just an infant and I would have so many years to work out all the details of mothering.

Where did those years go? This week, February 26, my baby girl, Kimberly Michele, turns 40 and she is a mother herself of three precious children. I remember the day I turned 40 and it doesn’t seem that long ago.

Kim and I didn’t have the life journey I anticipated upon first looking into her dark brown eyes. When she was only 2 years-old, her dad and I divorced, and I would spend the next seventeen years as a single mom juggling motherhood and a career. To the outside world, I did a great job as I moved up the career ladder of success; but as I moved further into the world and father away from the Jesus I asked into my heart at eleven, I role modeled the world’s ways to Kim.

Kim loved our life and all that I was able to provide her, even though she often cried that she missed me, as I headed off on another business trip. But we had time, right? She was still young and eighteen years is a long time…. I’ll make up to her the time we’ve been apart.

But in a blink of an eye, she was sixteen and dating. Then within moments, she was nineteen and declaring she was going off to college to live with her boyfriend, and she didn’t care what I had to say about it. I had recently rededicated my life to the Lord and was now trying to tell her this lifestyle was wrong, but she wasn’t buying it.

I mistakenly thought that when I changed my life and returned to God, she would follow right behind me. Wrong! That’s when the Lord assured me that, yes, I had let the first nineteen years of her life slip by without including Him in the parenting, but it wasn’t over yet. And so I began praying—daily, biblically, expectantly, persistently, sacrificially, unceasingly, and thankfully—as I describe in the first seven chapters of my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter.

I’d like to say that she instantly changed her ways, but it would be another six years of daily praying before she returned to me and to the Lord.

The Lord graciously restored the years the locust had eaten. I had the opportunity to do what I should have done from the day she was born: mentor her in how to be a godly woman. Today, I am so proud of the woman she has become. We’re now speaking together as “Two About His Work,” and she’s giving her testimony in a few weeks at her MOPS group.

Even through the difficult years, my love for Kim never faltered. She knew I didn’t condone her behavior, but neither did I condemn her. Our relationship has endured and grown stronger in spite of divorce, single parenthood, a traveling mom, both our prodigal years, my remarriage and blending a new family, my breast cancer, her infertility, and all the trials and joys of life.

I thought I would feel terribly old the day she turned 40; but instead, I feel blessed with the 40 years God has given me to love my precious daughter, and I’m grateful that the work He has done in my life will carry on through the work He is doing in her life. She’s my legacy, and I have given her the most valuable of inheritances: belief in Jesus Christ. 40 years is nothing in light of spending eternity together.

Mentoring Words to Moms:

  • Are you the woman today you want your daughter to become?  You’re the closest role model and mentor your daughter has.
  • It’s never too early to pray daily for your children. Pray for them before you have a problem.
  • Praying personalized Scripture—God’s Word back to Him—keeps you praying God’s will and not your own.
  • Enjoy every day of your children’s lives—they never get younger and neither to do you. Make each day count.

Janet-and-Kim

My daughter Kim and I speak together as Two About His Work.

February 25, 2013
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Whose Birthday Is It?

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Who are these men?

I asked my Facebook friends if they knew which president’s birthdays we were celebrating today and when their real birthdays were. As it turned out, the only ones who knew the answer were probably 50 or older. Do you know?

I was prompted to ask “Whose birthday are we celebrating on President’s Day” when I mentioned to a 28-year old friend that my husband and I were going to see the movie Lincoln. I said I thought it was appropriate since his birthday was the previous day, February 12. She said, “Oh, really?” I knew that fact had escaped her.

Then I spoke at a MOPS group and one of the young mothers at my table admitted that she only knew whose birthday we celebrated on “President’s Day” because her young son came home from school and told her.

When I was growing up, we had two president’s birthday holidays in February, and we knew why we were out of school. Until 1971, both February 12 and February 22 were observed as federal public holidays to honor the actual birthdays of Abraham Lincoln (February 12) and George Washington (February 22). In 1971, President Richard Nixon proclaimed one single federal public holiday, the Presidents’ Day, to be observed on the 3rd Monday of February.

So President Nixon gave America a three day weekend, instead of the two separate holidays of Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays. It’s not unusual to celebrate a birthday on a different day than it actually falls, especially for children’s birthdays so they can have a Saturday party with their friends, but we never forget their actual birth date. And how would you feel if for convenience, your parents made you celebrate your birthday every year with another sibling, or maybe a distant relative, so the family would only have to come to one party? Maybe that did happen to you . . . and I wonder how you felt about it.

The fall out of “President’s Day” is that there are now generations who enjoy a three day weekend in February, but have absolutely no idea why they have the day off.

How many generations does it take to make something obsolete? The answer: One.

As has happened with honoring the birthdays of the first president of the United States and the president who emancipated the slaves, if we don’t pass down the Christian faith to the next generation, Jesus’ birthday and ministry could also become obsolete.

We see this every Christmas and Easter when the secular world tries to take Jesus out of the celebration, and it will happen in our Christian world too…families…children…generations to come. . . if we don’t continue to tell the Gospel story of Jesus and His love.

As the Scriptures say,

“People are like grass;
 their beauty is like a flower in the field.
The grass withers and the flower fades.
     But the word of the Lord remains forever.—1 Peter 1:24

 

 

PS: Take advantage of a preorder special on Dear God, He’s Home! until its release date 3/5!

February 17, 2013
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Who’s Your First Love?

1

True Love Heart

February is the month of love and romance. Red and pink hearts are everywhere in honor of Valentine’s Day—the universal day for showing and sharing love. Of course, we don’t just love in the month of February—or one day a year—but it is the day we focus on finding ways to demonstrate our love.

Little children certainly don’t limit their display of love to just one day! Whenever my grandkids come to visit, they leave me love notes with their sweet heart drawings all over the house and on my white board. And at home they do the same for mommy and daddy. They seem to have an abundance of love and they don’t mind telling the world about it!

Brandon's love note

Fill in the blank with the first thing that comes to your mind: I LOVE_________

 Love is a word we often use loosely and it can take on many different meanings….

  • I love pizza!
  • I love pink!
  • I love my husband!
  • I love my kids!
  • I love my new vacuum!
  • I love Trader Joe’s!

I think you get the idea. Obviously we love our husbands and kids more than we love pizza. So how would you fill in the following blank?

My FIRST love is _____________.

You might have had trouble completing that sentence. If you’re married, how could you possibly differentiate between your husband and your children as your first love? If you have more than one child . . . how could you determine which one of them you love first? You can’t. But when you fill in that blank with…My FIRST love is Jesus . . . He gives you the ability to have limitless love for Him and for others:

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”—Matthew 22:37-40 The Message

You probably know people who would fill in the blank with …

  • My FIRST love is myself.
  • My FIRST love is my career.
  • My FIRST love is fame and fortune.
  • My FIRST love is my car or house or bank account…..

Every day we see on the news or in our neighborhoods, the tragic results of lives lived with the wrong priorities.

Analogy: Earthy Love and Love for Jesus

I once read a satirical advice column:  Dear Dr. Lovelorn, Where do I go to find a lukewarm love for the rest of my life to grow old with?

Of course, none of us ever plan for our romantic love to turn lukewarm. Remember when you were first in love: when time, money, and energy were never a concern. You talked lovingly about each other nonstop, couldn’t stand to be apart, showered each other with affection, and wanted the whole world to know you were in love.

Then when you marry and children join your happy family, it becomes harder and harder to find the time, money, and energy to expend on each other. Yes, your love has matured, but you have to be careful that mature love doesn’t mean the passion and excitement has turned to lukewarm and routine. Even God wants our marriages to stay as on fire, as when we were first in love….

“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 18-18 NLT)

God also wants us to maintain the passion and excitement we had when we first fell in love with His Son, Jesus. Have you been around a new believer lately? They have a radiance and glow…just like a new bride. New believers are on fire for the Lord and there’s a joy and exuberance about them that’s contagious and often leads others to want to know where this new found joy came from.

But as we spiritually mature, we may become like the church in Ephesus who Jesus spoke of in Revelations 2:4-5 (NIV): “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.  Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”

Removing the lampstand meant they would no longer be an effective church . . . effective Christian witness . . . effective role model to the next generation.

Only when we place Jesus first in our life and heart, can we love others with a genuine Christ-like love. It’s His love that fuels us to be better wives and mothers and grandmothers. . . . women. Jesus helps us do things for our families lovingly, not dutifully. There’s a difference between preparing a delicious meal because we love our family, versus throwing something together just to get them fed.

How Do We Return To Our First Love?

Just like we have to make an effort to rekindle the romantic fire in our marriages, we occasionally have to reignite the fire for Jesus in our hearts! Here’s an acrostic for L O V E that works for me, and I know it will work for you too:

Linger with Him!

“Oh, how I love your instructions!  I think about them all day long.”—Psalm 119:97 NLT

Find ways to have a quiet time with the Lord every day. I know that’s not always easy if you Susanna Wesleyhave small children; but take a tip from Susanna Wesley, the mother of John and Charles Wesley, the founders of the Methodist movement. Susanna had 19 pregnancies, and 10 of her children lived past the age of two. That in itself requires great faith, but even with 10 children running around, Susanna believed strongly in daily prayer and if she couldn’t find a private place in the house to pray, she put her apron over her head as a sign to the children to be extra quiet, mom was praying!

 

Find that private place in your home where you can “throw your apron over your head” and help yoMother Daughter prayingur children learn to respect your time of prayer and reading your Bible. This will teach them more about the value of prayer than any Bible study. My daughter has three children 4, 7, 8 and she just read the Bible in a year on her phone by using YouVersion.

cell phone

 Obsess Over Him!

“I will praise the Lord at all times.  I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together.”—Psalm 34:1-3 NLT

The dictionary describes obsession as:

  • Preoccupied
  • Dominated
  • Fixed
  • Immersed in
  • Gripped by
  • An Infatuation
  • A Passion

AH…that we would all be deliriously, madly, and obsessively in love with Jesus!

Value Him!

“Let the whole earth sing to the Lord! Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does.  Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods.”—1 Chronicles 16:23-25

Synonyms for value:

  • Worthy
  • Worship
  • Love

We can tell what we value most by looking at our checkbooks and our calendar. Where do you spend most of your money and time? Ask yourself if it has Kingdom value.

Enjoy Him!

I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence.—Proverbs 8:30 NIV

Happy In the Lord

When we L O V E Jesus Christ with total abandonment, our hearts begin to change and we’re able to reach out with His love to those around us and L O V E them as Jesus commanded:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”—John 13:34-35 NIV.

 

Share with us ways you’ve found to keep Jesus first in your life and how you L-inger with O-bsess over V-alue and E-njoy Him!

Have a Happy Jesus is “My First Love” Day!

PS: You might also find it helpful to do my Bible study Face-to-Face with Priscilla and Aquila: Balancing Life and Ministry

February 11, 2013
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