The Hospitality Gap by Cyndee Ownbey

I know you will all appreciate this article from Cyndee Ownbey, our guest blogger. I wonder how many of you have experienced the “Hospitality Gap” in a church you visited or maybe weren’t aware of the gap in your own church. The Lord reminds us how important hospitality is to people we might not know. Your church may have had a visit from an angel but no one introduced themself to him or her. 

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2

The Hospitality Gap by Cyndee Ownbey

The Hospitality Gap

Nowadays most churches have a procedure in place for welcoming guests.

Many churches have clearly marked parking spaces.

Signage is clear.

The entrance is marked.

You may even be ushered by a parking lot greeter to the connection center, table, or desk in the lobby.

You’ll likely be asked to complete an information card.

A free gift awaits after the service.

Due to several moves and a year-long stint in a rental home after our last move, we’ve had the opportunity to visit a large number of churches.

The welcome we’ve received has varied from church to church, but all had one thing in common.

Each church we visited suffered from a hospitality gap.

A hospitality gap occurs when a warm welcome shifts to a frigid silence.

[Tweet “A hospitality gap occurs when a warm welcome shifts to a frigid silence.”]

We’ve experienced a hospitality gap not just as we’ve attended worship services, but also when we’ve attended church events.

In every church the attempts to welcome stopped as we crossed the threshold of the sanctuary or event doors.

After being greeted warmly at the outside doors with many shouts of “Welcome!” and “Good morning!” we encountered an almost icy silence as we passed through the doors and found a seat.

No one sought us out. No one talked to us. We sat in silence as members and regular attendees greeted each other warmly with hugs and conversation.

Inside the sanctuary, folks were friendly, but only to each other.

[Tweet “Inside the sanctuary folk were friendly, but only to each other.”]

In some churches, we were able to navigate that awkward feeling of not belonging by reading through the Sunday bulletin, though many churches no longer distribute them.

At events, the hospitality gap was much more pronounced and much more painful.

Friends would rush in to grab a seat by those they love and know, while the empty chairs around me sat empty until necessity required someone to sit in the chairs beside me.

There is a solution to the hospitality gap.

In addition to positioning greeters at the doors, hospitality teams need to position greeters inside the venue.

[Tweet “To eliminate the hospitality gap in churches, hospitality teams need to position greeters inside the venue.”]

At least three people, more for larger churches and events, should be tasked with approaching and welcoming those who appear to be new or newer faces in the crowd.

This elite team needs to be staffed with people who are outgoing, warm, and friendly. They must be able to shake off the embarrassment of accidentally welcoming long-time members as new guests. They need to be trained to ask good questions and listen to those answers.

  • I don’t believe we’ve met before, how long have you been attending First Baptist?
  • Welcome! Sure is a hot one out there today! Are you all enjoying your summer?
  • Hello, I’m Marie. I couldn’t help but notice you have a son that looks to be about the same age as mine. What grade is he in?
  • Good morning! Are you all new to The Refuge?

Earlier this year I shared on Facebook about an experience I had at a church event where I experienced the hospitality gap. I pre-registered so there was every reason for the planning team to know I was a new person.

Not only was the hostess missing from her post at the door, but I sat alone for almost 10 minutes, watching all of the other women warmly greet one another.

I felt so unwelcome…

Many women commented that they wouldn’t have stayed. One even said she would have hidden in the bathroom. Another said she would have cried.

I admit, part of me wanted to cry and part of me wanted to bolt never to return again.

I have no doubt God allowed me to experience that awkward loneliness so I could share my experience and encourage those in leadership to literally stand in the gap. In this case, the hospitality gap.

Many of your visitors won’t give your church a second chance to make them feel unwanted.

I pray we’ll take that extra step, fill our hospitality gaps, and warmly welcome every person that walks through the door.

Have you ever experienced the hospitality gap at a church worship service or event?

What steps can you take to make certain the guests at your church don’t fall through the cracks?

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

The Hospitality Gap by Cyndee Ownby

Cyndee Ownbey is passionate about ensuring every guest receives a warm welcome. With almost 20 years of experience ministering to women, she encourages and equips women’s ministry leaders and Bible study leaders with an abundance of resources on her site: Women’s Ministry Toolbox. You’re invited to follow and connect with Cyndee on Facebook and Instagram.

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Comments

  1. We just visited the friendliest church ever. We arrived early and people greeted us from across the room. One man in a wheelchair came by and chatted maybe 10 minutes. A gal in front of us picked up on a place we mentioned and turned around and chatted another 5 or 10 minutes. the pastor came by and greeted us. We have visited churches when on vacation during our 57 years of marriage, and I am not exaggerating to say this was the most relational congregation of all. May their tribe increase!!!

  2. Excellant post Cyndee. It is Really on point. If we want the relationships they had in Acts 2- then we have to be quick to welcome new ones we see. After all, if they are a Christian then we are just welcoming a family member(brother or sister in Christ) and if they are not a Christian yet-then this is a chance to give them a “taste of Jesus” and make them want more!

  3. Thank you so much for this article. Sometimes I feel so nervous when trying to introduce myself to visitors, but I know that God can help me be bolder and show His love to anyone. I look forward to sharing this article with my church and really helping our visitors feel welcomed! May God bless you with many more important lessons!

    • Janet Thompson says

      Kathie, I actually had a visitor come up to me when I was talking with our pastor yesterday after church and thank me for my warm welcome to his wife and him. He said that it said a lot about our church, so let God use you to be a blessing. You never know when you’re entertaining angels.

    • Kathie, I completely understand. It is hard and it can be uncomfortable. I try to remember that my temporary discomfort is nothing compared to how hard it is to be a new visitor. Praying God will increase your confidence! Thank you for your comments (and for sharing the post with your church). 🙂

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