Rejection cuts like a knife, straight to the heart of our self-confidence and self-worth. Many of us can remember feeling insecure in high school, desperately wanting to be popular and accepted. Many girls who feel rejected or unloved by their dads also feel unlovable and don’t value their own dignity or respect their bodies. If Daddy doesn’t love them, then who will? They might turn to self-destruction or settling for less than they deserve because of their hunger for love from a man.
Other women rejected or dismissed by a male decide all men are bad and try to find solace in promiscuity or even same-sex relationships, to no avail.
A sinful life never soothes a hurting heart.
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Rejection comes in many forms—not just from men. Jobs. Parents. Children. Schools. Relationships. Friendships. Sports. Publishers. Auditions. Contests. Infertility. You weren’t selected, accepted, loved, or good enough.
Rejection can seem like failure and a justification to quit. Or we can view rejection as an opportunity to put our brave on and try again.
Life is often unfair. Sometimes others exclude us or treat us unjustly. We find ourselves in circumstances we can’t control or change. Rejection hurts and we’re angry, maybe even with God. We think God has rejected us when he doesn’t answer our prayers the way we want or expect.
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But soon we realize God is our only sure source of strength and courage to rally and carry on with confidence and composure. Even when we don’t feel his presence, our faith assures us of the truth that we are never alone. God has promised never to leave or forsake us, even when others fail us or abandon us.
So we pick ourselves up and bravely move forward, choosing to not let rejection define us or retaliation confine us.
Rejection or Curiosity?
Other times what we perceive as rejection is just curiosity. Maybe we’re a little different from others and they’re just trying to figure us out. Sometimes we can overcome our feelings of inferiority or insecurity by reaching out to others, even when it isn’t comfortable. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s always worth a try.
When my husband and I moved from Orange County, California, to the rural mountains of Idaho, I felt scrutinized and rejected. I was from California. I dressed differently. I’m an author and speaker, not a canner or camper. We came from a mega-church to a small church and I didn’t always know the old hymns, but I learned them. I didn’t “pack.” In short, I wasn’t a mountain woman and probably never will become one.
I felt perceived stares and disapproval, but I was here to stay, so I tried not to read into what might be behind the once-overs and whispers. I reached out, smiled, hugged, participated, talked, made new friends, and loved on them. I still don’t pack or make jelly or can, but I’ve met people who take me as I am.
I love one-time game show host Wink Martindale’s quote: “Rejection is just another point of view.”
God Won’t Reject You!
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Remember, when others reject you, God accepts you. Rejection says more about the other person than it does about you.
Rejection doesn’t define you; it refines you.
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Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me! Psalm 66:20
What lessons has God taught you through actual or perceived rejection?
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