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Our Country Desperately Needs Kingdom Culture Not Cancel Culture

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Yesterday was Father’s Day and that’s always a hard day for me. Especially now as police officers are being devalued and renounced. The incident in Atlanta where the suspect wrestled with the officers and grabbed their Taser has been especially painful. You see my father was murdered by a suspect he had pulled over who wrestled with him. Once subdued, the suspect complained of a painful ankle so my father and his partner took him to the General Hospital.

When they got the suspect into the exam room, he wrestled with them again and managed to get my father’s gun out of its holster and shot my dad pointblank. My father only lived long enough to throw the gun to his partner and with his last breath say, “He got me in the heart . . .”

When a suspect obtains possession of an officer’s weapon, the officers are in danger!

The man who shot my dad one week before his thirty-seventh birthday was a thirty-six year old high school music teacher. I was ten, my little sister was four. My mom was a thirty-two year-old widow.

Cancel Culture Instead of Kingdom Culture is Feudal!

Nothing I can do today will ever change the horror of what happened to our family. My father was protecting his community. He didn’t deserve to die doing it. His family didn’t deserve being deprived of a husband and father. My daughter didn’t deserve never knowing her heroic grandfather.

I don’t know if the murderer had a family or if he has grandchildren or even great grandchildren now. What good would it do for me to find them and demand their shame and reparations for the years their ancestor took from us?

Are they responsible for what this criminal in their heritage did to my family sixty-three years ago? Would I feel better if I rioted on their streets or defaced their homes with graffiti?

Should I hate all high school music teachers? Are music teachers systemically evil because one teacher did something despicable?

I think you would agree that the answer to all those questions is no. He and he alone murdered my father. He is the one responsible for our pain magnified by him getting off on an insanity plea and only two years in jail! But justice is mine says the Lord and the murderer died of a heart attack shortly after his release from prison.

Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” Rom. 12:19 The Message

It is true that this man’s actions forever changed our family. But he was the only one who could have tried to make restitution. If he had, which he didn’t, it would have been our choice whether to forgive him.

Hanging on to anger and bitterness causes torment and turmoil but never solves the root problem.

I can’t rewrite the large-letter headlines in the LA Times telling the world of my father’s tragic unjustified death. In 1957, it was big news when a police officer was killed on duty.

I can try to go back to find all the newspaper archives and demand all records of his murder be removed from history. I can rip up the yellowed newspaper articles in my family albums. I can research the murder’s family and demand they give our family restitution and destroy all his pictures in their family albums.

But nothing will bring my father back, change history, or heal any wounds in our family or theirs.

I hope you can see the parallel with what is happening in our cancel culture today.

Trying to blot out our country’s history or take blame for our ancestors’ actions will never solve the problems we’re facing today. It’s not a good use of our time, emotions, or energy.

The Truth About Forgiveness

In last week’s blog Every Life Matters to God, I wrote the following:

We can’t change the past or a past that we weren’t responsible for, but we can show the love of Christ to everyone God puts in our path. You can only apologize and repent for what you’ve done personally. If there’s racism in your heart, ask God to remove it. If you’ve shown racism to someone, go to him or her and ask for forgiveness, but you can’t ask for forgiveness for someone else’s sin. Likewise, someone can’t forgive you for something someone else did.

When it comes to the past sins of our forefathers, Ezekiel 18:20 speaks to it.

“The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.”

Our Christian faith is built on forgiveness. We were forgiven of all our past transgressions and sins when we asked Jesus into our heart. The slate was wiped clean for us.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

We have to ask God personally to forgive our own sins. No one can ask God for us or on our behalf. Likewise, we can’t accept blame or responsibility for our ancestors or anyone else’s sins and we can’t ask God to forgive them. That’s between each person and God and whoever they wronged.

My grandfather was prejudice. I’m not accountable for his beliefs that I don’t share. I chose to NOT follow his example and raised my daughter to not be racist or prejudice as she is also raising her children. It only takes one generation to make a difference, positively or negatively.

Just like I don’t expect the generations of my father’s murderer to be responsible for his sin, we aren’t responsible for our ancestors past sins and it shouldn’t make us feel righteous trying to do the impossible to make amends for something we didn’t do. We shouldn’t feel we’re doing something virtuous because we aren’t.

What we can do, as I said in last week’s article, is ask God’s forgiveness if you’ve participated in racism, or any sin, either in your heart or actions. If you need to go to someone and ask for their forgiveness for your unrighteous behavior, do it.

Then ask God to guide you to where He wants you to be a source of peace and reconciliation between all people!

If we’re not part of the solution, we’re part of the problem. We certainly see many problems in our world today that we could help solve by intercession, prayer, and personal action.

Every morning I pray “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matt. 6:10) Ask the Holy Spirit to help you envision what a Kingdom culture looks like from God’s perspective and then pray it infiltrates our world.

We need to realize that Satan’s goal is to divide us both as Americans and as Christians in any way he can. Race. Religion. Relatives. Relationships. Regions. And the Devil is using politics, media, and anarchists to achieve his goals.

Differences don’t need to divide us unless we let them. We have a choice.

How I Found Kingdom Peace Amidst Earthly Injustice

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Rom. 12:17-18 NLT

It’s easy to say we need to forgive but it’s so hard to do when the offense is egregious. The year after my father’s murder, I was invited to a church camp where a camp counselor sat on my cot and said, “I know you’ve lost your earthly father, but would you like a heavenly Father who will never leave or forsake you?” I accepted Jesus into my heart that day when I asked Him to forgive my sins.

I don’t think I ever intentionally “forgave” the man who murdered my father, but I was able to not let that tragedy define my life. I had peace in my pain. I grew up fatherless and my mother never worked. Somehow, someway, checks came in the mail I guess from his life insurance and maybe the Highway Patrol. I know the CHP did set up a fund for my sister and me to go to college.

Life wasn’t easy for us and we lived frugally, but God used those hardships to develop me into a woman He could use someday to be About His Work. It didn’t happen early in my life, but once I completely surrendered my will and my ways to Him, it’s been a joy serving my Lord and Savior. My ministry tagline is “Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness!” God has certainly given me many experiences to share of His faithfulness to all generations.

My mother sadly turned away from God after my father’s murder. She said no just God would ever do this to a man who was just trying to protect his community and her heart hardened toward God. I watched her physically, emotionally, and mentally deteriorate over the years. As I look back, she probably had a mental breakdown.

Only Jesus can heal a hurting grieving heart.

It was a tumultuous relationship with my mother, but I did eventually forgive her for the hurtful abusive years even though she never asked for my forgiveness. That’s what kingdom Christians do.

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt. 6:14-15 NLT

Will our country ever come to a place where we settle the past and move forward to the full potential of actually living again as the United States?

Only God knows and only God could bring that miracle to fruition. We can pray and hope!

 Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. Eph. 4:1-3 NLT

Last week, I asked you to send examples of Christians ministering during the riots and protests. I did receive the same video from several of you. It’s a beautiful example of what Kingdom culture looks like and what God can do when we answer the call He gives us to share the Gospel and help others find eternal life, the only life that really matters.

June 22, 2020
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#AloneTogether

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The one thing everyone has in common today with most people around the world is that we’re all at home. Unless you’re in the healthcare community, work at an “essential” business or one that has figured out how to do curbside pickup, you’re experiencing alone time.

Those who have children or family members at home might be laughing that you wish you had some alone time.

In recent years, there’s been infrequent unity across political and spiritual differences, but COVID-19 has leveled the playing field. Well, maybe not political divides—sadly, many are trying to make this crisis political.

The last significant unifying occurrence in America would probably be 911. While we all mourned together the horrific attack on our country, New York suffered the brunt of pain and loss.

COVID-19 is indiscriminate. It’s a pandemic. The entire world is experiencing pain and loss. We’re all in this together. Even though states and countries may be handling this crisis differently, the streets of most towns and cities are empty.

We’re #alonetogether!

Physical Distancing but Not Social Distancing

The first time I heard the term “social distancing,” it grated on me like fingernails on a chalkboard. I didn’t like it. People are saying it will be our new normal. That would be a tragic fallout of this experience.

We will probably need to stay at a physical distance from each other, maybe not hug or handshake for a while. Some say forever.

But socially isolating ourselves from each other permanently is dangerous and unsustainable. Social distancing can never become social disengagement!

We need each other. We need physical touch. We need to stay in touch!

Since the beginning of Creation, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. Genesis 2:18

God created us as social beings to interact and communicate with each other, not distance ourselves emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially, or mentally.

The ultimate punishment for someone in prison is solitary confinement, alone.

Even if you’re not typically a social person, social isolation leads to loneliness, which leads to poor physical and mental health.

How can I say that?

Well here are some statistics from a psychologist for those who suffer from loneliness:

29% are more likely to have coronary artery disease

32% are more likely to have a stroke or die

40% are more likely to have dementia, if they’re in that age group.

  • When we stop using our cognitive skills to interact, our brain starts deteriorating.
  • When we stop using our relational instincts to interact, our emotions start deteriorating.
  • When we stop using our physical impulses to interact, our body starts deteriorating.

In an article by Axel F. Sigurdsson, MD, PhD, Loneliness, Social Isolation, and Poor Health, He pointed out

“Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with increased risk of early mortality. Being socially connected increases not only psychological and emotional well-being but also has a positive influence on physical health.”

“Although loneliness is usually associated with social isolation, it is important to discriminate between the two. Social isolation refers to a lack of contact with other people, while loneliness indicates a state of mind.”

Despite these different definitions, there is significant overlap between social isolation and loneliness. Hence, the terms are often used interchangeably.”

You might be actually living alone in isolation right now or you might be feeling isolated even though you’re not physically alone.

We’re out of our routines. Maybe you went to work every day and now you’re out of work or working from home.

How many times did we complain about having to grocery shop, but now it’s considered an “essential” reason to leave home. It’s a luxury even though we have to mask up and wear gloves and deal with empty shelves, at least we’re out of the house and among other people.

We’re #alonetogether!

We Can, and Must, Stay Socially Connected Even While Quarantined

#Alonetogether

Social media probably creates more virtual friends, than face-to-face friends. Yet aren’t those of us on social media glad we have these “friends” to communicate and commiserate with because we’re all going through something similar. It gives us a sense of social connectedness.

As our fresh food supply at home started dwindling, I looked in the refrigerator vegetable drawer and there was a big package of organic Romaine hearts and a bundle of avocadoes. That was all. So I put a post on Facebook, “I have Romaine lettuce but only avocadoes to make a salad. What else do you put in your salads? #nothingfresh #stayinghome.”

I started getting immediate responses and within hours, I had 100 comments and many new ideas for my salads. I heard from people I haven’t “talked to” on Facebook or in person for years from all walks of my life. We couldn’t share a meal together, but they were eager to help me plan mine.

My cousin read the post and commented, “These all sound so good!”

It almost felt like I had a group of friends helping me make dinner, while they probably were working on their dinner too.

If you’re not a social media fan, you can use SKYPE, ZOOM, or video chatting and messaging to talk while seeing each other. I mentioned in last week’s blog, #America Works Together Keeping the Faith, how my grandkids gave me a virtual birthday party.

We can use the tools we have to stay connected with each other. Churches who have video transmitting capability are reporting more online viewers and commitments to faith than they would ever have at church on Sunday. God is using the “screen” to reach people for Christ.

God uses inconvenient, unpleasant circumstances for good and so can we. It’s not the same as being together, that’s for sure, but it’s what we have right now.

We’re #alonetogether!

A note on social media. Stay away from negative input or people that bring you down emotionally. Avoid getting into political discussions or any that cause you anxiety.

“Call Your Mama!”

In one news report, the Surgeon General was discussing why older people were more susceptible to the coronavirus. He also addressed the loneliness that especially occurs if they’re living alone or unable to drive, be active physically, or get out of the house. Now they can’t even visit with their grandchildren and friends.

He closed his talk with “Call your mama!”

I would say my daughter and I have talked more since the pandemic started than we did before. It wasn’t like we didn’t talk a lot, we just talk more now—not texting or on Facebook, but on the phone. Hearing each other’s voice, laughs, and sometimes tears!

The story of the Rosetans may help to understand the importance of family relations and social surroundings for the risk of heart disease and other physical and mental illnesses.

In 1964 a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association examined a population of recent Italian immigrants in Roseto, a small town in the state of Pennsylvania. The study was instigated because the town doctor was completely baffled by the Rosetans’ near immunity to heart disease. He reported his observation and an extensive statistical population study funded by the American State and Federal governments was conducted.

The study compared health statistics of Rosetans to neighbouring towns and the initial results were astonishing. During the seven year period of study from 1955-1961:

No-one in Roseto under the age of 47 died of a heart attack; there was a complete absence of heart disease in men under the age of 55

The rate of heart attacks in men over 65 was half the national average

The death rates from all causes was 35% lower than anywhere else

The study confirmed the town doctor’s findings and went on to examine the factors that gave the Rosetans such improved health. It became known as the ‘The Roseto Effect’.

While living in the town to conduct the study however, the researchers observed several major differences as to how the Rosetans related to others in their community. They noticed a remarkably close-knit social pattern that was cohesive and mutually supportive with strong family and community ties, where the elderly in particular were not marginalized, but revered. Put simply, the Rosetans lived in brotherhood with one another.

The Roseto effect is a term used to describe the phenomenon by which a close-knit community experiences a reduced rate of heart disease.

So call your Mama, Dad, Grandparents, or extended family! Your life and their life could depend on it right now.

#AloneTogether!

The Loneliness Epidemic

I’ve mentioned in previous blogs that God has been nudging me to write a book on loneliness. He planted the seed in my mind last fall as my latest book Everyday Brave: Living Courageously as A Woman of Faith was releasing. I kept putting God off. We spent six weeks after the release of this book in Southern California. Then we returned home to the holidays, and before we knew it, we were experiencing a pandemic where people are isolated! Alone! Lonely!

I said, “Lord, forgive me for not taking You seriously when You put the theme of loneliness on my heart.” I had been asking people to pray for me to start writing, but I often said I was afraid the Lord would ask me to personally experience loneliness before I could write about it.

Well here we are. I’m in the high-risk category for COVID-19. I’m isolated! I’m writing.

I know many of you are experiencing some type of loneliness now or you have in the past. Would you be willing to share your story to help someone else? I need to hear from you!

  • When have you experienced loneliness?
  • How are you dealing with staying home now?
  • How did it present itself to you?
  • How did you overcome it, or maybe you haven’t yet?
  • How did God help you through it or what helped you the most?

You don’t have to answer in the comments here if that’s uncomfortable, but I would so appreciate receiving your story. I’ve noticed more people want to share their stories these days to help others and to help themselves heal.

Remember we’re all #Alonetogether!

I wanted to remind you that Everyday Brave: Living Courageously As A Woman of Faith is at a reduced price on my website for the month of April. I’ll sign and personalize it for you. It might make a thoughtful Mother’s Day gift for someone or for you. We’re certainly living in times requiring us to Get Our Brave On.

April 20, 2020
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Do You Need a Pardon?

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Do you need a pardon?

Pardons were in the news last week as President Trump pardoned and commuted sentences of several prisoners. Speaking at a graduation ceremony for Hope for Prisoners, President Trump said that he “loves” finding those treated unfairly by the criminal justice system and offering them pardons.

The discussion of pardons started me thinking about how God has pardoned every Christian. Since Romans 3:23 reminds us that, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Christians are the recipients of unmerited grace and mercy.

In my Bible Study Face-to-Face with Euodia and Syntyche: From Conflict to Community, I describe it this way:

  • Justice is getting what you deserve.
  • Mercy is not getting everything you deserve.
  • Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.

Mercy is showing more love and kindness to a person than he or she expects or deserves. Undeserved pardon! Grace is undeserved forgiveness.

It’s so easy to look at the transgressions of others and say they deserved the punishment rendered, and often they do. But what about Christians who had their debt pardoned and paid for by Jesus who unjustly endured the brutal cross for us? He took the punishment that we deserved. That’s mercy! That’s grace!

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:1-5

All we had to do for a pardon was confess our sins to Jesus, ask for forgiveness, and repent! Our dark sins became white as snow. Erased! The Bible says that God has forgiven and forgotten and will never bring them up to us again.

“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18

Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Acts 3:19 (NLT)

15 And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says,

16 “This is the new covenant I will make
with my people on that day,[a] says the Lord:
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds.”[b]

17 Then he says,

“I will never again remember
their sins and lawless deeds.” Hebrews 10:15-17 (NLT)

What a gift! How did we deserve such a pardon? We didn’t! Yet, how often do we take our pardon for granted. Almost like we did deserve it. How often do we remember the price and penalty that Jesus paid for our release from the punishment due us? I would suggest, not often enough.

We may not have been in a cold, dark, prison cell, but we were in a cold, dark spiritual hellhole. Satan had us shackled to him in sin and shame. Then Jesus entered into our life and set us free. But Satan never gives up. He’s always trying to lure us back. We can never forget the cost of our pardon.

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

Sin Has Consequences

Just like with all pardoned prisoners, there will always be consequences of our sins that we will have to bear ourselves and assume the responsibility. God told the Israelites who refused to follow His lead, “You will bear the consequences of your sin . . .” (Numbers 14:34 HCSB)

As Christians, we must ask for Jesus’ help and strength to make restitution for our sinful behavior when possible. If we broke the civic law, or God’s law, we’ll pay the penalty. The scars will be with us, and possibly with others, for life. Often our actions negatively affected someone else. That’s on us. Jesus forgives us when we repent of our sins, but we may need to forgive others or seek their forgiveness and they might not grant it. The hurt is too deep. The debt too high.

But President Trump also told the crowd of 29 graduates from Hope for Prisoners, “the best part of your life is just beginning.” “Today we declare that you are made by God for a great and noble purpose. You are valued members of our American family and we are determined to help you succeed,” the president said.

And that’s what the Lord says to us too:

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. Micah 7:18

My Second Pardon

Do you need a pardon?

In Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I share my testimony of accepting Jesus into my life at eleven, but as an adult I backslid into a sinful life for seventeen years while raising my daughter. I was a prodigal raising a prodigal. I can’t change those years, but when I rededicated my life back to Christ, He gave me another pardon I did not deserve. Praise God, He is the God of endless pardons. I was a changed person—a new creation in Christ.

Like President Trump told the released prisoners, God did have a great and noble purpose for my life as He used me to start the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry and write and speak for Him.

But there were consequences to my wayward years. I had to ask my daughter for forgiveness, and while she didn’t understand what that meant at the time, she does now. I prayed and begged God daily to open her eyes to the life she could have with Christ. After six years of a mother’s prayers, she accepted Christ as her Savior.

No matter what you’ve done in your past, or are currently doing, Jesus waits eagerly to mercifully forgive you and restore your life for a great and noble purpose. All you need to do is ask Him for a pardon.

Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. Isaiah 55:7

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God has put on my heart that my next writing project will focus on the loneliness epidemic in our culture. If you have a story of seasons of loneliness, or you’ve helped someone through their loneliness, I would love to hear your story. Please contact me or email at [email protected].

February 24, 2020
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What Is God’s Response to ‘Ok Boomer’?

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What Does God Say About #OK Bommer

“Mom, are you a boomer?” my eleven-year old granddaughter asked my daughter.

I have to admit that none of the adults at the dinner table understood the significance of that question and so I naively answered, “No, Grammie and Grampa are boomers.” She seemed satisfied, but I continued to ponder her question. So a few days later, I texted her that boomers were born between 1946-1964. She said “thanks,” but still I wondered the genesis of her question. Something else was going on.

Then I began to see articles degrading boomers almost to the point of using ‘boomer’ as a slang or curse word, and then I REALLY wanted to know about my granddaughter’s interest in ‘boomer.’ So I asked her and she said, “Sometimes when I say something, my friends say, ‘Ok boomer,’ when I’m talking like an old person.” And that’s bad? I thought.

But it turns out it is very bad if an eleven-year old might have the perspective of something her grandmother or grandfather taught her, even if that wisdom came from a 2020 year-old person, Jesus Christ.

Being a Boomer Was Special!

I’m a boomer and I must admit most of my life it’s been a rather prestigious position. We were the largest generation in history at that time, born in the two decades after World War II when the surviving soldiers returned home after defeating the enemy. They were ready to bring normalcy back to life, get jobs, raise a family, and enjoy the American dream and ideals they fought so bravely to defend.

Because boomers represented such a vast number of consumers and voters, we influenced fashion and trends, politics, economics, business, entertainment, religion . . . the culture.

We felt respected and appreciated. And then we weren’t. Like every generation, we’ve aged, and as the “old fogies” before us, we suddenly don’t know anything and no one cares about what we want anymore. We’ve become the generation that younger people facetiously and dismissively respond to with an “Ok Boomer,” while rolling their eyes. Not in an admiring or gotcha’ manner, but you’re an old person with views and values we no longer appreciate. In fact, we’re going to blame all the world’s problems on your generation that you left for us to inherit. You’re out of touch with our problems and we don’t want to hear what you think about it.

Ouch!

Aja Romano wrote in her article “OK boomer” isn’t just about the past. It’s about our apocalyptic future.

“OK boomer is meant to be cutting and dismissive. It suggests that the conversation around the anxieties and concerns of younger generations has become so exhausting and unproductive that the younger generations are collectively over it. OK boomer implies that the older generation misunderstands millennial and Gen Z culture and politics so fundamentally that years of condescension and misrepresentation have led to this pointedly terse rebuttal and rejection. Rather than endlessly defend decisions stemming from deep economic strife, to save money instead of investing in stocks and retirement funds, to buy avocados instead of cereal — teens and younger adults are simply through.”

How Can Christians Bridge the OK Boomer Generation Gaps?

Now that I am old and gray,
    do not abandon me, O God.
Let me proclaim your power to this new generation,
    your mighty miracles to all who come after me. Psalm 71:18 NLT

Where there are differences, Satan will use them to divide.

[Tweet “Where there are differences, Satan will use them to divide. We see that division in politics, religion, and culture but now more than ever, it rears it’s ugly head in generational antagonism. “]

We see that division in politics, religion, and culture but now more than ever, it rears it’s ugly head in generational antagonism. Yes, we can say that’s always existed, but did it in your family. Did you think your grandparents were completely out of touch with the real world or did you respect and admire their wisdom?

I learned to appreciate Scripture from Granny Reed, who always read from her Bible to my cousins and me as we literally sat at her feet. Granny Hazel taught me how to care for my complexion and played games with me when she came to visit. They were a wealth of experience and I looked forward to spending time with them.

I challenge you that #OKBoomer” is not biblical!

[Tweet “God knew that Satan could use our age differences to divide us so God gave us many Scriptures to help bridge these inevitable generation gaps, and He commands us to live by them.”]

God knew that Satan could use our age differences to divide us so God gave us many Scriptures to help bridge these inevitable generation gaps, and He commands us to live by them. 

Generation after generation stands in awe of your work;
each one tells stories of your mighty acts. Psalm 145:4 The Message

_________________________________

Let me share a few excerpts from the chapter “Generation Gaps Are Not In God’s Plan” from my book Mentoring for All Seasons.

Why Do We Have Generation Gaps?

[Tweet “It was never God’s plan to have generation gaps in the church: God commanded one generation to pass down his truths to the next generation.”]

It was never God’s plan to have generation gaps in the church: God commanded one generation to pass down his truths to the next generation. But in most churches today, the gap between generations is so wide the only thing passed between the two is mistrust and misunderstanding—all in the name of Jesus.

I believe the older generation often perpetuates the gap by wanting everything to stay the same—same music, same way of doing things, same church service, same church activities. . . . Many churches relegate the young people to their own groups, and their input—whether in music or new ideas or using their talents and gifts—isn’t welcome in the main sanctuary. Then the church wonders why the youth and young adults are leaving in droves.

If we want to stay relevant in the lives of the next generation, we need to learn how to embrace their style of worship . . . their way of communicating . . . their world. If we want to have an impact in their lives—to help guide them in the ways of righteousness—we need to speak their language, care about the things they care about, and reach out to them in love with a desire to understand what’s important to them.

Mentoring: A Privilege Not a Burden

[Tweet “Do you remember when you were the next generation full of hope and ideas and ready to leave your mark on the world? I do. I also remember feeling misunderstood and unappreciated when sharing thoughts and ideas with older adults”]

Do you remember when you were the next generation full of hope and ideas and ready to leave your mark on the world? I do. I also remember feeling misunderstood and unappreciated when sharing thoughts and ideas with older adults. Yet thirty-six times in the New Living Translation of the Bible, the Lord uses the term “generation to generation.” Many more verses instruct us to pour into those who are coming up behind us in the church and in our homes. It was God’s plan for the continuation of his church throughout the generations.

Believers are to teach and train the next generation. Praise God, over the centuries believers have followed this mandate. You and I are benefactors of the sacrifices of believers who have gone before us. Over the years, followers of God and his Son, Jesus Christ, have felt compelled to ensure the next generation:

  • Has access to and knowledge of the Bible.
  • Knows how to communicate with God through the Holy Spirit and prayer.
  • Receives guidance in leading a godly life.

[Tweet “Sharing with the next generation some of what God and life has taught us is truly an honor and a privilege.”]

Sharing with the next generation some of what God and life has taught us is truly an honor and a privilege. “I will bring honor to your name in every generation. Therefore, the nations will praise you forever and ever.” (Ps. 45:17 NLT)

A Plea from the Younger Generation

[Tweet “I often hear from the older generation that the reason they don’t mentor is because the younger generations aren’t interested in being mentored, but his is a misconception and lie of the enemy.”]

I often hear from the older generation that the reason they don’t mentor is because the younger generations aren’t interested in being mentored, but his is a misconception and lie of the enemy. A young woman named Tracy, [and there were many more like her in Mentoring for All Seasons] pleads, “I beg the older generations to please be the mentor God called you to be—take up your cross and invest in the future. It takes patience, perseverance, and Christianity. The woman you invest in today may turn around and invest in tomorrow’s generation.”

_______________________________

[Tweet “If you’re a boomer like me, let’s continue the trend of being the largest influential generation for God!”]

If you’re a boomer like me, let’s continue the trend of being the largest influential generation for God!

That means we ignore the exasperated #OKBoomer meme and turn it into an eager #OKBoomer share with me what you’ve learned about God. Let’s not be offended by this meme but use it for God’s glory!

If you’re one of the younger generations, seek out a Christian boomer who will share with you how God helped her through the seasons of her life and is eager to bestow some of that God-fueled faith with you.

3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. Titus 2:3-5 NLT

Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life and God’s Faithfulness is available signed and personalized on my website or also on Amazon and Kindle.

February 17, 2020
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7 Tested Tips for Moms of Teens by Letitia Suk

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Letitia Suk is a guest on the Monday Morning Blog today with some great advice for moms of teens and tweens from her book Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens. This is a delightful and practical guide for grandparents too. As I was reading, I thought about my thirteen-year old granddaughter who was coming with her friend to stay with us for a week. Our tendency is to fall back on our own parenting style with the next generation, but I knew I could learn a few tips, and I did. Leave a comment for a chance to enter the drawing to win this precious book!

My new book Everyday Brave: Living Courageously as a Woman of Faith is now available for preorder on Amazon. Mothering tweens and teens is a courageous and brave endeavor that I know we would all agree we couldn’t do without the help of God. Chapter 7 is “Brave Mothers.” 

7 Tested Tips for Moms of Teens

by Letitia Suk

7 Tested Tips for Moms of Teens

Parents and teens will clash, often! If you are a parent of a teen, you have been on both ends of the clash at some point in your life. Remember?

As much as it feels challenging to get through this roller coaster season of parenting, choose the long view. This current crisis will pass but your relationship with your teen lasts the rest of your life.

[Tweet “One of the primary tasks of parenting teens is to establish a bond of closeness that can be drawn on for the long journey ahead.”]

Your pediatrician might not have mentioned it, butone of the primary tasks of parenting teens is to establish a bond of closeness that can be drawn on for the long journey ahead.

Hard as it is to believe, most of the years spent with our child in our lifetime will be in an adult-adult relationship that will outlast these exciting, fun-filled, and often challenging years.

[Tweet “Most of the years spent with our child in our lifetime will be in an adult-adult relationship”]

Looking for help?

If you need some help today, 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens is a grab and go guide to read along the way. Each short, stand-alone tip provides an immediate opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your teen for both now and for the decades ahead.

Here is a sample of some of the tips you can try right now. 

  1. Keep Texts Friendly.

Chances are your teen prefers texting to most other forms of communication. Choosing to use this tool in a friendly way is a great way to stay in touch. Tell them you love them and are praying for their test. Ask them if they need anything from Walmart or send fun tidbits of information. TM can also be used to ask questions like when will the car be back? Will you be home for dinner? Could you please pick up a gallon of milk?

Decide that you will only use this creative tool for positive thoughts or simple questions. This is not the vehicle to complain (the kitchen is a wreck), criticize (you never leave gas in the car), or accuse (you were out too late last night). Keep it upbeat and they’ll want to keep opening their inbox.

  1. Ditch the Dread.

“Wait till they’re teenagers!” was the foreboding warning that awaited me on almost every turn of the stroller. “Wait till they start mouthing off” or “Wait till they get to high school” or “Wait till they get their driver’s license” have been part of the mom to mom network from the playground to the boardroom. It was never clear what the wait was for, it didn’t have the same hopeful note as waiting to go on vacation.

[Tweet “Instead of expecting the worst, start the day with a hope and a prayer that your teen is going to be OK.”]

            Instead of expecting the worst, start the day with a hope and a prayer that your teen is going to be OK.

Talk back to your inner critic and tell her you’re doing just fine as a mom. Don’t let moments of doubt turn into dread-fests. Be the voice of the yay-sayer instead of the naysayer to other moms. Expect the best and wait for it to come!

  1. Wave the White Flag.

If you are the parent of a teen, you have engaged in some conflict. In fact, you might have instigated it or inflamed it. It is never too late to wave the white flag and start a round of peace talks in your family. Someone needs to step up and stop yelling, door   slamming, or silent treatment. Might as well be you!

Calling for peace is not glossing over incidents but acknowledging your part in the current conflict. “I was angry, and I insulted your character, I’m sorry.” “I was tired, and I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair.” Asking for forgiveness is also a huge step but necessary to move on.

[Tweet “Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever.”]

Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever.

What your teen sees from you in the way of how to do resolution will shape their future interactions as well.

4. Leave on a positive note.

When your teen leaves the house for an outing with friends, make a point to say have a good time, you look great, I love you.

[Tweet “The last few minutes of your interaction with your teen can set the tone for the rest of the evening.”]

The last few minutes of your interaction with your teen can set the tone for the rest of the evening.

If your teen leaves the house feeling good about you and about themselves, they will carry those positive feelings with them. Likewise, if they leave home angry, feeling misunderstood, or belittled, those feelings may shape their evening. If you really want to make a lasting impression, occasionally slip a little unasked-for cash!

  1. Avoid Micro-Managing Your Teen’s Faith.

It has been said that “God has no grandchildren” meaning we each have our own faith experience separate from our parents. In our spiritually aware culture, most teens are searching for something/someone to believe in. Your teen’s faith journey might parallel yours, lag behind, or leap ahead. Most likely, it will not be identical just as your faith experience is not the same as your parents.

[Tweet “Your role as a parent is to provide spiritual training for your children, but not to force their faith development.”]

            Your role as a parent is to provide spiritual training but not to force their faith development.

In these teen years, you can nurture your teen’s faith by your prayers, your example, your encouragement, and trust God to work out the big picture. Keep in mind, his timing is rarely the same as ours.

  1. Differentiate Between Rules and Policies.

Try less rules, more policies. A policy has flex to it, a rule is fixed. Use policies for the minors of life such as room cleaning, late phone calls, attendance at family events, established study times, etc. A policy can be changed by request, “I need to talk to Sara tonight, but she won’t be home till 10:30. Can I call her later?” You: “OK, thanks for asking.” Exception given, policy still in place.

Rules, however, cover the majors and are not flexible. No point in your teen asking if they can have a party when you’re out of town. Ditto, there won’t be an exception as to whether they can drink and drive or have a sleepover with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Policies can be created on the spot and revised often. Keep the actual rules very few and very clear.

Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion. 

[Tweet “Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion in children.”]

  1. Bless their Friends, Even the Ones You Don’t Like.

You won’t like all your teens’ friends. Usually announcing that you don’t like a friend quickly elevates this person into sainthood in your teen’s life. The secret is not to let your feelings be known unless your teen is in danger or serious risk from a “friend.”

Find something, anything to comment on positively about the friend. “I like the way ____    is passionate about causes, knows a lot about music, isn’t afraid to be different.” then you might say something casually like, “I am a little concerned about his/her ____(driving?, ditching school? lying? poor relationship with parents, etc.” (choose only one) then follow with, “What do you think about that?” Listen and don’t comment. Very hard tactic to follow but so worth it. Wait it out and see if your impression was wrong or your teen recognizes it’s not a healthy relationship. It almost always happens.

Interested in reading more?

Ninety-two more tips are available in 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens (Ellie Claire/Hachette, 2019.) Beautifully designed with inspirational quotes on motherhood interspersed throughout, this book makes an excellent gift for yourself or a friend.

Which of these tips did you need today? 

Have you used any of these tips successfully?

Please leave a comment here for a chance to win a free sign copy of 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens.

About the Author:

7 tested Tips for Moms of Teens

Letitia Suk invites women to chase the intentional life. She is the author of 100 Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens, Getaway with God: The Everywoman’s Guide to Personal Retreat & Rhythms of Renewal. Letitia’s Amazon page

She and her husband, Tom, live in the Chicago area and are parents of four grown children. Letitia’s Website

August 5, 2019
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Climate Change Won’t Kill You, but Moral Change Will

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Climate change won't kill you but moral change will

Today, many are calling it a “moral obligation” to warn us about climate change before it “kills us.” But these are some of the same people who advocate legalizing immoral change destroying our country. They have no concern for killing babies, every second of every day; in fact, they champion it, but stop eating hamburgers now! That’s their real concern.

[Tweet “When’s the last time you heard a pastor speak on Romans 1:18-32 and speak about the truths of God’s anger toward sin?”]

Our pastor recently spoke on Romans 1:18-32. When’s the last time you heard a pastor speak about the truths of God’s anger toward sin, many of which our culture idolizes and tries to force on us as “tolerant” and acceptable. God is never tolerant or acceptant of sin. Never! I put a link to these verses because I want you to go read them and then think about the moral change happening in our country today.

You can’t study the great Book of Romans without addressing these verses, and yet many churches, pastors, and Christians are not only ignoring them, they’re trying to whitewash them out of the Bible. God’s Words ignored because the world tells us they’re irrelevant and don’t actually apply to a 21st Century culture or even worse that they’re “hate speech!”

[Tweet “God’s Words ignored because the world tells us they’re irrelevant and don’t actually apply to a 21st Century culture or even worse that they’re “hate speech!””]

Many have applauded my last few blogs, and others have said I’m preaching to the choir. Well that’s exactly who I want to reach. I want the “choir” to get out of their safe pews, take off their protective, comfy choir robes, move out of the safety of like-minded people groups, and take a stand for God’s Words and God’s ways before moral change completely envelops our country.

[Tweet “Today the biggest problem facing America is how humans are redefining morality not how humans are changing the climate.”]

Today the biggest problem facing America is how humans are redefining morality, not how humans are changing the climate.

In my blog, 5 Examples of How to Join God in Bringing Good out of Evil, I made the point that everyone knows right from wrong and has a conscience. People who are doing wrong, know that it’s wrong, but they do it anyway for any variety of reasons: greed, power, social pressure, self-gratification.

[Tweet “People who are doing wrong, know that it’s wrong, but they do it anyway for any variety of reasons: greed, power, social pressure, self-gratification.”]

Romans 1:18-23 (NLT) reminds us that every living human being has to acknowledge God. Even those who are so worried about the climate change are looking at the air they breathe, the forests, the water, the animals . . . and so: 19 “They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. 20 Forever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. 22 Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. 23 And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.”

So anyone who doesn’t acknowledge God and his ways, leaves himself or herself wide open for Satan to take hold of their mind, will, and actions. They become dark and confused . . . “utter fools” . . . which aptly describes many of the secular population.

[Tweet “Anyone who doesn’t acknowledge God and his ways, leaves himself or herself wide open for Satan to take hold of their mind, will, and actions. They become dark and confused.”]

And don’t we see a flood of dark, confused, “foolish ideas” today. We’re baffled how adults can actually champion with a straight face the absurdity of “the new green deal” with no cows, no planes only trains, every building in America rebuilt and on and on…and if you don’t get on board you’re going to die in 12 years, which was also predicted in 1989, 1999, and will still be “12 years” in 10 years from now! Foolish!

Or foolish talk of Socialism for America. Or defending and lying about an illegal coup to take down a duly elected president. Or an actor who gets away with a sloppy contrived hate hoax. Or rich parents thinking they’ll never get caught cheating their children’s way into college. Foolish! Dark!

[Tweet “How deceived the churches, denominations, pastors, and Christian speakers/authors who are foolishly ignoring Romans 1:24-32 and trying to convince us that these sins aren’t really sin”]

But what about the foolish confused churches, denominations, pastors, and Christian speakers/authors who are foolishly ignoring Romans 1:24-32 and trying to convince us that these sins aren’t really sin. I just read an article “French bishops spokesman calls homosexual relationships ‘something of God’. Here’s what God’s something says about it:

24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God [and the way he created them sexually] he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. . . .Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too. Romans 1:24-32 NLT

So what are we to take from these verses that describe the same world today that Paul described in Rome? And almost every family today has one of these issues described in the above verses. God says he doesn’t release people to sin, but if they won’t listen to him, he does withdraw his loving restraint. (Romans 1:24) Like so many claim today, they do have a choice and a right to do what they want, and God will let them make that choice, but He’ll also let them suffer the consequences.

[Tweet “Like so many claim today, everyone has a choice and a right to do what they want, and God will let them make that choice but He’ll also let them suffer the consequences.”]

So does that mean we should give up on them? Absolutely not! But it does mean that we don’t get caught up endorsing what God calls wicked by redefining sin. That’s not helping them. If we say that because we love someone it means their sin is Okay, we’re essentially giving up on them and their eternal salvation.

[Tweet “If we say that because we love someone it means their sin is Okay, we’re essentially giving up on them and their eternal salvation.”]

C.S. Lewis summed it up this way: “There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell.”

I would add that all who are in Heaven choose it too.

Climate change is nothing compared to eternity in Hell. That’s what kept me on my knees praying for my daughter, and I hope there’s someone you’re staying on your knees for too. Because if you’re truly a Christian, you know that Heaven and Hell are real. Pastor Greg Laurie recently wrote a devotional where he said:

“I want to do everything I can to warn everyone I know so they won’t end up in that horrible place. Tell them about what Christ has done for you. Tell them about the hope of Heaven. Tell them about the forgiveness of sin. And tell them what the repercussions are if they don’t believe. Don’t leave that out. Don’t dilute it. We have the hope of Heaven, but we don’t want anyone to go to Hell.”

But let’s make that clear. “You don’t get to Heaven by living a good life. And you don’t end up in Hell by living a bad life. Heaven is not for good people; Heaven is for forgiven people. Everyone who turns from their sin can go to Heaven. This is why God sent His Son, Jesus, to die for us on the cross.”

[Tweet “We’re not helping or showing love to anyone when we condone their sin. And much of what the world endorses, God condemns. “]

This is why we celebrate Easter. This is the message churches should be sharing. We’re not helping or showing love to anyone when we condone their sin. And much of what the world endorses, God condemns. And so should we. When immoral evil is condoned and legalized, as Christians we don’t tolerate it or obey it. We fight it with everything we have in us.

O.S. Hawkins says in his book The Believer’s Code: “Yet the Bible gives clear instructions: we are compelled to disobey civil law when it is in direct opposition to God’s laws.”

[Tweet “Today, you will be called all sorts of horrible names when you don’t go along with immoral laws. But so what?”]

Today, you will be called all sorts of horrible names when you don’t go along with immoral laws. But so what? Jesus said: “Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also” (John 15:20).

If we offend with the Gospel, then Glory be to God. Hardships and persecution are all part of a life devoted to Christ.

[Tweet “If we offend with the Gospel, then Glory be to God. Hardships and persecution are all part of a life devoted to Christ.”]

Don’t shy away from calling sin a sin. Even in our own lives. We sin too. Hopefully, not in the ways described in Romans 1:18-32, but in other ways unpleasing to God.

[Tweet “Don’t feel like you have to defend God. He can defend himself. He’s made his presence known to everyone, some just choose to ignore him”]

Don’t feel like you have to defend God. He can defend himself. He’s made his presence known to everyone, some just choose to ignore him. But God is always good in His invitation: His call to everyone is to repent and be saved. Not saved from climate change, but from moral change.

[Tweet “But God is always good in His invitation: His call to everyone is to repent and be saved. Not saved from climate change, but from moral change.”]

John 3:18 says,  “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.”

It’s not just that someone is a sinner; it’s that he or she rejected God’s solution to moral change in his or her own life.

“God is saying, ‘I love you. I don’t want you to go to Hell. I put My own wrath on my Son, whom I love, so you can be forgiven.’ That rejection of Jesus is what brings judgment. It isn’t going to be a sin question in the final day. It’s going to be a Son question: What did you do with Jesus?” Pastor Greg Laurie

[Tweet “The most loving thing you can do as a church and as Christians is to not give up on someone you know who has rejected Jesus. Climate change is nothing compared to an eternity separated from God.”]

The most loving thing you can do as a church and as a Christian is to not give up on someone you know who has rejected Jesus. Climate change is nothing compared to an eternity separated from God.

If you received this blog by email, please leave a comment here.

If you haven’t already read last week’s post, Why You Should See #Unplannedmovie.

If you haven’t seen Unplanned, please go see it and take someone with you. Lives are depending on the truth of the immorality of abortion to be known.

April 8, 2019
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What Kind of Person Kills a Newborn Baby?

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My daughter’s birthday was last week, February 26. Since she posted a picture with candles on her cake, I think she’ll be OK with me telling you I gave birth to her forty-six years ago. But like all mothers, when our children have birthdays no matter how old they are, we reminisce about their birth.

Where it took place.

How long or short was our labor?

Hearing our newborn’s first cry.

The nurse laying our precious gift from God on our chest as we kiss his or her cheek.

I remember like it was yesterday. Back then, we didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl, so I still have memories of the doctor holding her up and announcing, “It’s a girl!”

Then the nurse pronounced time of birth at 11:00 AM.

This year, Kim’s birthday fell on the day after Democrats in the US Senate blocked the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act, which would mandate that doctors must try to save the life of a baby born after attempts at abortion.

[Tweet “Democrat endorsed legalized infanticide. Republicans voted in favor of bill to save innocent baby’s lives.”]

All Democrats, except for three, endorsed legalized infanticide: killing an infant. While all Republicans, except for three who didn’t vote, voted in favor of the bill to save innocent baby’s lives.

What Kind of Person Let's Newborn Baby Die?

Without the passage of the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act, the doctor can legally ask the parents if they want their newborn baby to live or die. If the parent’s give the death sentence to their new baby, the nurse removes the baby and lets this precious creation of God . . . cry or choke to death.

Then the nurse pronounces the time of death.

[Tweet “Doctors can ask parents if they want their newborn baby to live or die.”]

What kind of doctor, who took an oath to save lives, looks at a newborn baby, and asks, “Should we let him or her live or die?

What kind of nurse participates in this barbaric killing?

What kind of mother who gave her baby life, carried her baby in her tummy, went through delivery, and heard her baby’s first cry instructs the doctor to kill her baby?

What kind of Senator knows that this bill has absolutely nothing to do with abortion laws, but everything to do with saving the life of a newborn baby, votes for infanticide?

What kind of “political base” could these Senators be trying to please, who expect them to vote against a  Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act,  which would have required that “any health care practitioner present” at the time of a birth “exercise the same degree of professional skill, care, and diligence to preserve the life and health of the child as a reasonably diligent and conscientious health care practitioner would render to any other child born alive at the same gestational age.”

What kind of country tolerates infanticide?

What kind of church leader doesn’t denounce infanticide?

My friend Patti Smith asks this same question in her blog Where is the Outrage of Church Leaders and Infanticide?

What kind of Christian does nothing?

Some friends who are speaking out have said they’ve taken a lot of online abuse from Christians who call this a “moral quandary” – and we should not judge others. I suggest they ask their critics, “So do you consider it judgement or a “moral quandary” to try and stop someone from being murdered?”

Then ask: “If abortion wasn’t legal, would you still think it was okay for a woman to have her baby burned, poisoned, or torn apart? Is it a moral quandary for that baby with a beating heart, who feels pain and is trusting his mommy’s tummy is the safest place in this world, to have a chance at life?”

Our job as Christians is to live by God’s ways, not compromise because they’re not popular.

[Tweet “Our job as Christians is to live by God’s ways, not compromise because they’re not popular.”]

Anyone who says they’re a Bible-believing Christian and refuses to take a stand against abortion, late-term abortion, and now infanticide is falling into Satan’s trap: “Did God really say that we shouldn’t kill, inside or outside the womb, His babies made in His image?” Yes, He did.

Christians must fight for the sanctity of life at all ages! With many Democrats threatening Socialism in America, how long will it be before the government decides how long you can live before you become a burden or inconvenience to society?

The Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act didn’t effect abortion; it was designed to protect the life of a baby that survives abortion. But here’s the fear of the liberal left and why they voted against it. If they agree that a baby is a human when it’s born after a botched abortion, it leads back to the argument that a baby is a human when the abortion was attempted in the womb. The Democrats couldn’t take the chance that the public might start thinking of unborn babies as humans, so they can’t recognize that the born infant is a human!

The Democrat’s rationale: If parents wanted assisted killing of their baby in the womb, they should be allowed to also have assisted murder of the baby if the abortion failed, and horror of all horrors, their baby lived!

We need to keep reminding the public that from the moment of conception in the mother’s womb, each baby has a unique genetic code with its own personal DNA and fingerprint. Scientifically, no one can deny that humanity is not determined on a sliding scale of whether you’re wanted or not wanted. The March for Life theme this year was “Unique from Day One!”

[Tweet “The Democrats couldn’t take the chance that the public might start thinking of unborn babies as humans”]

It’s unimaginable that we’ve arrived at a time in a supposedly civilized society where we’ve reverted to barbaric times when babies were drowned or left on a hillside to die if they weren’t wanted. Or like in the days of the worship of Bael, burned alive.

4 “‘For Israel has forsaken me and turned this valley into a place of wickedness. The people burn incense to foreign gods—idols never before acknowledged by this generation, by their ancestors, or by the kings of Judah. And they have filled this place with the blood of innocent children. 5 They have built pagan shrines to Baal, and there they burn their sons as sacrifices to Baal. I have never commanded such a horrible deed; it never even crossed my mind to command such a thing!” Jeremiah 19:4-5 NLT

When I visited with my daughter on her birthday, she said that before going to bed the night before, she had read the final Senate ruling on the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act. She, like many of us, couldn’t sleep. She kept thinking of all the birthday wishes she would receive celebrating her life, while thousands of newborn babies would never see their first day of life because they were unwanted, an inconvenience.

No celebration of his or her life. No funeral. Their coffin a trash can. Nameless. The abortionist was supposed to murder the baby before it was born. Now they’re live human beings left to die, and maybe even dismembered and body parts sold.

What Kind of Person Let's a Newborn Baby Die?

Kim realized she has life because I wanted her and loved her. She has three children that she dearly loves, and her first child was adopted from a teenage mom who didn’t abort but chose to give her baby life and give our family a blessing.

[Tweet “How could a mother who gave birth to her child choose death for that child?”]

It was hard for Kim to reconcile, as it is for any of us mothers, that a woman could give birth and then choose death for her child.

With states like New York passing laws that a baby can be aborted up and through delivery, and now infanticide, the one hope we can cling to is that the public will become outraged and no longer able to ignore the atrocities of abortion.

A civil society doesn’t kill its babies in the womb or in the world.

[Tweet “A civil society doesn’t kill its babies in the womb or in the world.”]

And yet, Abortion is the Leading Cause of Death in 2018 with 41 Million Killed.”

“Globally, just under a quarter of all pregnancies (23 percent) were ended by abortion in 2018, and for every 33 live births, ten infants were aborted. There were more deaths from abortion in 2018 than all deaths from cancer, malaria, HIV/AIDS, smoking, alcohol, and traffic accidents combined.”

Listen to this interview of Ainsley Earhardt with a former abortionist as he describes why he stopped “murdering” other people’s baby boys and girls. You need to hear this. Have a Kleenex ready. Then support the upcoming movie Unplanned in which he plays the part of an abortionist. He’s not an actor, but who knows better how to portray the horror than someone who has experienced it firsthand.

I encourage you also to listen to an interview with Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act’s, chief sponsor.

Listen to a mother who almost aborted her baby until told by Planned Parenthood practitioners that if her baby was delivered alive, they would break it’s neck!

I hope the interviews and the movie trailer keep you up at night too. I hope you’re asking God what He wants you to do about this travesty. I hope you’re not thinking who are you to make a difference. You are a believer, that’s who you are, and that makes all the difference!

I hope you’re championing for life, because anyone of us could be related to a baby who was left on a cold metal table to die and ended up in a trashcan, maybe torn apart.

What to Do With Your Anger Over Evil

Don’t Just Cry, Do Something!

I’m just a baby, without a voice
Life interrupted by another’s choice
My heart was beating…but now it has ceased
And my precious life didn’t end in peace
I cried and I cried…but to no avail
Couldn’t you hear me? Why did you fail?
To give me a chance to sing my own song
I could have dreamed dreams, but now they are gone
I was a baby…but now I’m no more
Life interrupted by a vote on the floor
But I hold no grudge for the wrong that you’ve done
For I’m now in the arms of Jesus, God’s son
With millions of others, who had the same plea
I’m just a baby…please look out for me.

Merissa Lee Kelley
Feb 28, 2019

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained
for me were written in your book before one of them came
to be.” Psalm 139:16

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March 4, 2019
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In Today’s Culture, I Might Have Been Aborted

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In Today's Culture I Could've Been Aborted

“I wouldn’t have had you if I knew I would be passing on health issues to you!” My mom said to me.

As states are rapid-fire passing abortion laws that allow babies to be aborted for any “health” reason, even up through and after delivery, my mother’s words echo in my mind. I was just a young girl and I tried to frame her words in love. But I wondered then, as I do now, why wouldn’t she want me? Were her words coming from a point of regret or concern about my future? She’s gone now and I never asked.

[Tweet “Ultrasounds have made strides in helping to determine when a heart starts beating as new parent’s excitedly watch the development of their baby in mommy’s tummy.”]

Ultrasounds have made strides in helping to determine when a heart starts beating as new parents excitedly watch the development of their baby in mommy’s tummy. There are so many benefits of ultrasounds, especially in letting hesitant mommy’s know their baby is not just tissue or a fetus, but a kicking, smiling, yawning, sleeping, squirming baby boy or girl.

Ultrasounds and amniocentesis also detect early developmental issues. Often a baby’s life can be saved by intrauterine surgery or detecting that the mommy needs to be on bedrest.

[Tweet “Before ultrasounds detecting problems babies would have a chance at life. Today doctors encourage fearful parents to abort “and try again.””]

But these same tests can detect problems that can’t be treated until the baby is born, or maybe not treatable ever.

Before intrauterine technology, those babies would have a chance at life. Today doctors might encourage fearful parents to “abort and try again.” Even though we read story after story of the doctor and the tests being wrong and a beautiful baby boy or girl surprises everyone. A baby almost killed because he or she might not be perfect.

I would’ve been one of those imperfect babies.

Today’s technology could probably detect that I would have a spine with severe debilitating congenital scoliosis. Doctors might have told my first-time parents that without treatment I would be deformed and why not “get rid of me and try again for a better baby next time.” But my mom was pregnant before ultrasounds. Parents had to anxiously wait until their baby was born to even know if they were having a boy or a girl. So I lived.

But as I grew, my mother continually told me to stand up straight and had me standing for hours with my back against the wall hoping my spine would straighten on its own. But it only got worse until doctors told her if I didn’t have surgery to put a metal rod down my spine or be put in traction and wear a plaster cast from just under my ears to my hip bones until I finished growing, my left arm would eventually drag the ground. There was no way to correct the S-shaped curvature, only stop it from getting any worse and I would endure a lifetime of back pain.

She probably repeated in her mind, “I shouldn’t have had you.”

In Today's Culture, I Could've Been Aborted Because I had a deformed spine

At Christmas with my younger sister. The plaster cast you see around my neck went all the way down to my hip bones. I’m bracing myself with my left hand because I could barely sit up.

Or maybe she would’ve started experiencing many of her “health issues,” and when she became pregnant, she didn’t want to pass them on to me. I would be better off not being born. Aborted.

When I had breast cancer three times after she was gone, had she been alive, she might have said again, “I shouldn’t have had you.”

But praise God . . . she did have me.

In Today's Culture, I Could Have Been Aborted

[Tweet “God had a plan for me like He has for every one of His creations and none of us are perfect.”]

God had a plan for me like He has for every one of His creations and none of us are perfect.

Mothers often express in delight, “My baby is perfect as they count ten toes and fingers, four limbs, two eyes, two ears, one nose and a mouth, but no one really knows what awaits each of us. And that’s a good thing. If we knew a two-year old was going to get cancer, would we not want to have those two precious years with our child? What about if doctors could predict asthma or allergies? Would those be considered enough “health issues” to abort?

Now that they can detect Down’s Syndrome and cleft palates, should those darling children not have a chance at life? Savagely, doctor’s give parents that choice today.

[Tweet “Every life has a purpose, and while we’d like our life to be pure joy and happiness, we’re all going to have challenges.”]

Every life has a purpose, and while we’d like our life to be pure joy and happiness, we’re all going to have challenges. God’s plan is for all His children to be a part of human history for however long or short our time on earth or how imperfect our bodies or minds.

It’s not our call to play God.

[Tweet “It is not our call to play God.”]

Here’s some ways God has used my less than perfect body.

  1. I had a beautiful baby girl, who could’ve possibly had scoliosis, but she doesn’t. I tried so hard to have her while I struggled with infertility and not once did I ever think, “Maybe God doesn’t want me to have a baby.” I love being a mother.
  2. My daughter has three beautiful children. I love being a grandmother.
  3. I have a godly husband who is devoted to Jesus and to me. I love being a wife.
  4. I had the opportunity to start the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry over twenty years ago and only God knows the number of women throughout the world who have been, and continue to be, blessed by mentoring relationships. I love being About His Work.
  5. At the age of 50, I became an author! September 2019 will be the release of my twentieth Christian nonfiction book, all written to the glory of God. I love being an author.
  6. I’ve had the opportunity to speak and encourage women throughout the United States and Canada about how to live a life for Christ. I love speaking and mentoring.

It’s true I’ve had, and continue to have, many health issues, but I’m so glad my mother did choose to give me life.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

Psalm 139:13-14

In a recent post Don’t Just Cry About It, Do Something, I said one of the things we can do is put a face to the inhumanity of abortion by telling our stories. I’m sure all of you have a story to tell too of someone, maybe you, who might’ve been aborted today. Share with us your story in the comments and tell someone else today! You might just be saving an unborn life.

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*Opening picture is from the Christian Conservative

February 18, 2019
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Why I Have Hope for Katy Perry

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My book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: Hope, Help & Encouragement for Hurting Parents, is about a prodigal, aka me, raising a prodigal. As I’ve read about Katy Perry’s recent public confessions of why she turned away from her childhood Christian faith, I saw a certain parallel to my life. No, I never became a multimillion dollar, outrageously popular pop star, but I did turn my back on my Christian faith after my divorce and became a very successful businesswoman living a worldly life while raising my prodigal.

Katy’s father is a pastor and her childhood home was faith-filled. In her public therapy session aired on Viceland, she went by her birth name Katheryn Hudson. Faithwire wrote an article from this session, Why Kathy Perry’s Rejection of Her Childhood Faith Should Concern Every Bible-Believing Christian. They quoted Hudson as saying, “I grew up with a lot of born-again Christian beliefs around me, and so I had people around me — like-minded people — and I would say it was a bit of a bubble,” Hudson explained. “I was a very curious person, and the curiosity — sometimes it wasn’t allowed because you had to have faith.”

The article goes on to say that Hudson explained she was “curious about what was going on in the rest of the world, and how they lived, and what they saw as they were living . . . I felt like I was missing out.” She decided to explore her singing career further to “pop [her] own bubble, to get out of [her] own situation.”

“I guess I was just trying to get out of one way of thinking. It was like ‘do as I say, no ifs, ands, or buts. It was based on my religious upbringing… I have so many questions. I ask all the questions in the world, and all the questions in the world have gotten me to where I am at now.” [To read the whole article]

There is so much in that last statement about finding answers in the world, which made her rich and famous, but spiritually bankrupt denouncing her faith and  singing songs with provocative, shocking lyrics and movements that many young girls listen to and imitate.

[Tweet “Why did Katy Perry turn to the world for answers to her questions?”]

Why did she turn to the world for answers? Because she couldn’t find answers to her questions in the church. She was raised around born-again Christians, but never actually says she was born-again.

In Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten, I challenge the church with that same thought: “If we don’t teach our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to. Not encumber them with rules easily broken, but guide them toward a relationship they wouldn’t forfeit or jeopardize for anything.” I ask the question: “How many are making sure their children and grandchildren understand, accept, and embrace the Christian lifestyle? How many know, for certain, their children have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

[Tweet “How many parents know, for certain, their children have a personal relationship with Jesus?””]

Again I warn in Forsaken God?: “The church failed to reach out to the next generation with a message relevant to the world they live in today, but the secular world was ready and waiting for them. . . .Today, even children from Bible-believing homes may not have the tools or fortitude to equip them to face a liberal world drifting away from the God of the Bible.”

I stress exactly what Katy Perry said she couldn’t get from the Christian “bubble.”

They need mentors and parents to have the tough, honest discussion about abortion, sexuality, sexual exploitation, marriage, same-sex attraction, transgenderism, radical Islam, cults, drugs, alcohol, suicide . . . whatever they’re facing in their world.

My “Katy Perry” Story

When I left my good-girl Christian lifestyle, even though I was a born-again Christian since age eleven, I felt just like Katy that I was missing something “out in the world.” Satan makes sin seem fun and enticing. And there were plenty of people ready to teach me the “world’s ways.” I was naïve enough not to understand how quickly I was being sucked into that lifestyle.

[Tweet ” Satan makes sin seem fun and enticing.”]

I wasn’t raised in a Christian home like Katy was, but I did have a very devout grandmother who planted the seeds of faith in me. My mother would drop me off at church, but I was on my own. I loved everything about church and did find mentors and “spiritual mothers” to answer my questions until I went away to college and there was no one guiding me not to marry an unbeliever or pray with me about my choices.

What Brought Me Back to the Lord?

After seventeen years of backsliding, I was invited to a Harvest Crusade where Pastor Greg Laurie asked the crowd if they were ready to die that night? The Lord had gradually been bringing me back to Him through attending Pastor Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, and I knew the answer to Pastor Laurie’s question was, no. I rededicated my life to the Lord that night and God has been using me About His Work ever since.

[Tweet “Do you know where you’re going if you die tonight?”]

I think Katy Perry, Katherine Hudson’s, public “therapy” session is her cry for help. I know she feels God on her shoulder calling her back with every provocative move, word, and action she uses to try to separate from Him.

[Tweet “I think Kathy Perry’s public “therapy” session Katy Perry is her cry for help”]

What Can We Do?

Katy Perry’s mother, a minister’s wife, author, and a mentor to many Christian women, has some advice that she shared in an interview by J. Lee Grady, Charisma News, “How Katy Perry’s Mother Praises God Through the Pain.” Grady asks: How does a Christian mother handle it when she sees her daughter drifting so far from the values she taught her?

“The devil definitely tries to steal my joy,” Mary told me. “I sometimes have to fight depression.” A few years ago, Mary anchored her soul to Psalm 113:9, which says, “He gives the barren woman a dwelling, making her the joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!”

“That verse inspired her to write her 2015 book, Joyful Parent, Happy Home. Mary believes if you want your children to live for God, “You have to get happy and stay in the ‘God zone.’ Mary’s close friends also support her unconditionally. And she asks new friends to agree with her in prayer for a miracle turnaround for her daughter . . . Mary believes parents of prodigals must focus on others rather than wallowing in their own pain. For the past 11 years she has poured her life into women who attend her Arise conferences.” The full interview is at CharismaNews.

[Tweet “Katy Perry’s mother encourages parents of prodigals to focus on others rather than wallowing in their own pain”]

Mary also mentioned something important that I share in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter: show unconditional love to your prodigal, and as much as it is up to you, keep the lines of communication open.

Praise God, both my daughter and I enjoy a wonderful relationship with God and each other. I now have precious grandchildren to help pour into spiritually. I want to make sure I’m not just telling them what to believe, but helping them come to their own conclusions. To feel free to ask us questions and to help them solve their faith problems without giving them the answers we think they should arrive at. To help them develop problem-solving techniques and know where and how to go to the Bible when they question something happening in the world.

When they ask if I know that Katy Perry “used to be a Christian,” we talk about the fact that if she did give her heart to Jesus as a child, she still is a Christian, but she’s not living like one, so let’s pray for her.

The 6/26/17 issue of Time Magazine, quoted Katy’s apology for “criticized acts of cultural appropriation”: “I didn’t know that I did it wrong until I heard people saying I did it wrong. And sometimes that’s what it takes.” Let’s pray Katy hears from God that she’s been doing wrong and apologizes to Him. Someday, Katy could have an amazing testimony and God will use it for good. Pray it’s soon before she influences more young girls and women for the world.

[Tweet ” Someday, Katy could have an amazing testimony and God will use it for good.”]

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

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PS I just realized this is the end of June already and should be Love Your Body Monday, but this post was on my heart so I’ll post a Love Your Body blog for the 4th of July week!

June 26, 2017
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Are You The Woman Today You Want Your Daughter to Become?

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If you’ve followed me for awhile, you know I’ve been writing, editing, and proofing a new book, Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness. Last week, I turned in my final proof edit to the publishers, Leafwood Publisher, as I anticipate it’s September 12, 2017 release. Then I learned the exciting news that this book is now on Amazon ready for preorders! You can order now, and as soon as it’s in stock at Amazon, you’ll receive your pre-release copies. The more preorders, the more they bring in stock. Will you help me get this book into the hands of mentors and mentees, those wanting to know how to be a mentor or mentee, and Women’s Ministry Directors to guide women in all seasons of their life.

This book will guide and equip women from tweens to twilight seasons in how to biblically mentor or be a mentee! I think it’s the first book of it’s kind written for both M&M’S! One endorser has already said every Women’s Ministry Director needs this book in her library. As the summer goes on, I’ll share more tidbits about this book for all women.  So drum roll please . . . I’m unveiling the cover!

The Mothering Season

[Tweet “When I speak to woman about mentoring, I tell them that their first mentoring responsibility is to their daughters if they have daughters or nieces. “]

When I speak to women about mentoring, I tell them that their first mentoring responsibility is to their daughters if they have daughters or nieces. They’re the role model for these young girls and they’re mentoring to them what it looks like to be a woman today: either a woman of the world or a woman of the Word. And then, I ask the question: Are you the woman today you want your daughters to become because they’re watching you, and as much as they don’t want to be like you, they will probably become just like you at sometime in their life.

In Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I share how during my backsliding years, my daughter wanted to be just like me. I realized some of the poor choices she was making were a reflection of the poor choices she was watching me make.

That was a huge revelation to me that I needed to make some changes in my life. When I did rededicate my life to the Lord and start living a godly life, she didn’t want any part of it. She liked the way we were living more by the world’s standards than by God’s ways. And that’s the story I talk about in Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. I went down on my knees and prayed Scripture for her daily for six years; all the time showing and role modeling for her the blessings of being a rededicated woman of faith.

[Tweet “I went down on my knees and prayed Scripture for my daughter daily role modeling a woman of faith.”]

I’m happy to say our story took a happy turn and Kim did eventually give her heart to Jesus, and she has done a much better job than I did raising her three children in a Christian household. She’s mentored them in character qualities that her two daughters and son are obviously noticing. For a school project, 3rd grader Sienna was to write why her mom should be in People Magazine. I must admit, I was troubled by this teacher’s choice of a magazine that 3rd graders had no business knowing about or writing an article for, so I was relieved when Sienna said she had no idea what People Magazine was, anyway!

[Tweet “Would your children see these character qualities in you?”]

But what did impress me were the character qualities Sienna wrote that she saw in her mom. My daughter is a fitness instructor with a fabulous figure, she’s gorgeous, dresses stylishly, and always looks beautiful. So when Sienna decided to write about why her mom should be on the cover of People Magazine, she easily could have talked about these superficial, outward qualities, but at eight-years old this is what she wrote, exactly how she wrote it, no edits from Grammie:

My mom should be on the cover of the People magazine. My mom’s name is Kim Mancini. My mom is medium height, has brown hair, and her eyes are brown. There are so many reasons why my mom should be on the cover of the People Magazine.

One of the amazing things about my mom is that she is trustworthy. My mom trusts me all the time. My mom does not lie. My mom is trustworthy with my whole family. Now you know why my mom is trustworthy.

My mom is the most honest person in the world. She is honest with me. She once said, “Do not be scared that’s not real.” My mom is honest with my grandparents. There is no doubt, my mom should be on the People Magazine because she is so honest.

My mom is so helpful. My mom helps me when I am hurt. My mom helps me with my homework. She helps me get ready for school. My mom should win an award for being the best mom ever. My mom is the best mom in the world.

By Sienna

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Sienna’s mom, is trustworthy, honest, and helpful. Later she wished she had included hardworking. Isn’t that what every mom wants all her children, not just her daughters, to say about her?! Good job Kim.

What would your kids write why you should be on the cover of People Magazine?

The Mancini family. Sienna is next to her brother

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June 5, 2017
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