Home Archives for Janet Thompson

Communicating More But Saying Less

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Everyone looking down at a techie device

Does this conversation on a recent television sitcom between a mother and daughter regarding the son/brother who is away at college, resonate with you like it did with me?

Mom: I wrote him this big long email and he sent me a text! By the way, don’t send a text in response to an email. That’s just rude! He said, ‘Going to class gtg’. What does gtg mean?

Daughter: It means . . . ya know . . . Got to go.

Mom: What is ‘brb’?

Daughter: Be right back.

Mom: And then here’s the biggest insult, ‘love u’. Just ‘u’, not the whole word! I gave birth to ‘u’, don’t I deserve the ‘y’ and the o’? Then he sent me this little yellow smiley face. What’s that?

Daughter: A little emoji art for you.

Mom: I want to emoji art back. Show me how. Maybe he’ll respond to me then!

Are you laughing as hard as I did? I was watching this program with my adult daughter with whom I’ve had similar conversations. Here’s how the evolution of communication has spiraled with this daughter and with her brothers and sisters and their spouses! Anything similar happen in your family?

  • The phone: We had frequent conversations on old fashioned, landline phones.
  • Cell phones: Then came cell phones and we all went on the family plan and talked often.
  • Email: Free on the computer! No long distance charges or using cell minutes, so we wrote long emails regularly to each other. Even though I did miss hearing their voices, I loved receiving their newsy emails.
  • Facebook: I first got on Facebook to see what my daughter and grandkids were doing, since she stopped sending pictures by email and was only posting them on her timeline. Then, I started communicating with my readers more via Facebook, but my daughter started posting less.
  • Pinterest: “Mom you have to get on Pinterest,” so I did. Again, it was a great networking tool with my readers, but I seldom see my daughter on it anymore.
  • Smart Phones: All the kids got smart cell phones with virtual keyboards, which are a pain to type on, and if you try the speaker…who knows what embarrassing words you might be sending because the print is small and you can’t see the screen in the sunlight. But I got one anyway . . . . Even though they could receive email on their phones, the kids still didn’t respond to emails.
  • Texting: Then the kids did an intervention with my husband and me insisting that we add texting to our phone plan because that’s how they wanted to communicate with us. So we did, but again typing on phone keyboards is difficult—words are limited, and we have a limited texting plan. But they do respond better to texting, except our “conversations” now go something like this:

Wen wil u b here?

dnt no

How r u

Fine smiley face  or sometimes just smiley face

Meeting Them Where They’re At

I’ve seen some funny Facebook posts about moms and grandmas trying to text or use the speaker and the crazy things they end up “saying.” I haven’t mastered many of the imojis, and didn’t even know that’s what they’re called until I heard it on the above TV program. It took me forever to figure out how to make a heart, and I still haven’t mastered the wink, nor do I understand most other “imojis.”

However, I’ve learned: if I want to stay in communication with my kids and grandkids, I must learn to adjust, adapt, and appreciate new ways of communicating with a good attitude. It’s useless to continue sending emails that seldom get a reply. If texting is the way to get a response, then I’ll text until the next communication craze.

Some parents and grandparents throw up their hands in frustration over these communication trends and refuse to adapt. Then, they’ll complain about never hearing from their kids or grankids. We’re the losers if we stay stuck in techie avoidance, because technology is going to keep moving on whether we do or not.

Everyone’s Looking Down, Be Sure You’re Looking Up

If you observe most people today—families in homes, shoppers in the mall, diners at a restaurant or a coffeehouse—they’re looking down at their most prized possession, a cell phone. Yes, they also use tablets and Ipads, but a phone fits in a pocket or purse, and many simply hold it in their hand. Today’s generation seems desperate to stay in touch and be available, even if words are brief and few.

We can encourage our family and friends to have the Bible “AP” on their phone, and look down at that occasionally. YouVersion is a great resource and offers the Bible in all translations and yearlong reading plans. For years, I prayed that my daughter would want to read the Bible, and then her church challenged her to read the Bible via YouVersion on her smart phone. That worked for her because she checked her phone every morning, and she read the entire Bible in a year and 3 weeks. Now she gets YouVersion morning devotionals on her phone.

Remember what Satan tries to use for bad, God can always use for good.

Putting It All In Perspective

This is a great comparison of the Bible vs. the cell phone:

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone? What if . . .

We carried it around in our purses or pockets?

We flipped through it several times a day?

We turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

We used it to receive messages from the text?

We treated it like we couldn’t live without it?

We gave it to kids as gifts?

We used it when we traveled?

We used it in case of emergency?

Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!

 

BTW, I still use email, allot, so email me or visit me on Facebook or leave a comment. I love to hear from you.

Be right back       THX

September 30, 2013
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Dear God, We Need Friends!

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Wedding Day

When Dave and I were newlyweds, we prayed and asked God to bless us with Christian friends. God answered beyond our wildest expectations and He continues blessing us with new friends. As one friend recently exclaimed, “You sure do have allot of friends!”

Ours was a second marriage for both of us. I had been single for 17 years, so my friends were mostly single and Dave, single only several years, had focused on work and his kids. We knew it would be important for us to have a social life comprised of couples who shared our values and beliefs, so we said an intentional prayer that God would bring those couples into our lives that He wanted us to have as friends.

Making Friends Outside the Box!

Dave and I met in a small group Bible study he was co-leading through Saddleback Church, where we were both members. This group was for people in the business world, but there were several couples in the group, so we had a head start on our quest for “couple friends.”

We were willing to look outside our church home of Saddleback Church, so when I heard about a course called Marriage Builders offered at another local church; we decided this was perfect preparation for our upcoming marriage. And you guessed it . . . we made another group of friends, had a great time socializing with the couples group at this church, and the pastor who taught Marriage Builders officiated at our wedding. A couple in the group we became very close with videotaped our ceremony.

While considering where to go on our honeymoon, I heard an advertisement on the radio for a cruise to the Caribbean with Calvary Pastors Chuck Smith, Jon Courson, and David Hawking. I thought: What a great way to spend our honeymoon on a cruise with hundreds of Christian couples. It didn’t matter what church they attended—we were all in the family of God. It was great fun being the “newlyweds” on the cruise and we came home with a new group of friends.

Come Join Our Small Group or We’ll Form One

Dave and I were intentional about asking other couples we met at the gym, at church, in the grocery store, friends of friends . . .  if they would like to join our small group Bible study. Soon the focus of the group changed from business-oriented to topical and everyone was welcome to join. As the group expanded, so did our circle of friends.

Several years into our marriage, Gary Smalley came to Saddleback with his Making Love Last Forever conference. Dave and I took a training to lead Making Love Last Forever couples groups and found ourselves leading a group of much younger couples, who had all been married longer than we had, but were newer in their faith. The couple who hosted that group in their home refers to Dave and me as, “The most influential couple in their faith journey.” That’s humbling.

We’re Moving—Opportunity for New Friends

We bought a “writing” cabin in the mountains and immediately started making new friends, even though we were “weekenders.” We attended the local church, invited neighbors to walk, come over for dinner, play games . . .  and soon people were saying I should run for mayor because I knew so many people.

Then two years ago, we made the major move from California to the mountains of Idaho where we knew no one except our daughter’s family, who live over an hour away. I wondered how we would make new friends, but I didn’t wonder for long. Again, we joined the local community church where the members embraced and welcomed us. Soon we had invitations to potlucks, football parties, game nights, and a neighbor reached out to me and we’re best friends and walking buddies—even though we our theology differs, we both love the Lord. Another group of friends surrounded us.

Vacationing with the Family of God—A Glimpse of Heaven

In my blog post “Love Song Couples Getaway,” I shared the story of Dave and me deciding to celebrate our 20th anniversary . . . just as we did on our honeymoon . . . with a group of Christian couples we didn’t know. It was the best vacation of our married life, and in just one week, we made friends with couples who have become near and dear to us. They live in Southern California, where we just moved from, but we still have our mountain cabin and grandkids in So Cal and recently joined these couples for a reunion.

Staying in Touch

The friend I mentioned in the opening paragraph who exclaimed, “You sure do have allot of friends,” was reacting to the recap of our trip to Southern California. We told him about:

Lunch with the wife of that host couple of the Making Love Last Forever group, whom we hadn’t seen in 10 years after they moved out of So Cal. We picked up the conversation like we had never been apart. I discovered they would be in So Cal the same time as us on Facebook—a great way to keep in touch with friends.   Lunch with Robin Coleman
We had a reunion with three couples we met on our Love Song Couples Getaway vacation in May. Love Song Couples Getaway reunion

Enjoyed a lovely sunset dinner with couples from that original small group Bible study where Dave and I met, and we’re always welcome to stay with them when we return to Orange County.

Dinner with our original couples small group friends

We then spent a week at our So Cal mountain cabin socializing and visiting with our friends and neighbors, including my author friend Joanne Bischof and her husband Noah

Dinner with author Joanne Bischof and Noah

Friendships Are Our Witness

In Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I tell the story of my daughter Kim contemplating becoming a Christian and worrying that she might not have any friends. But then, she said, “Well you and Dave have so many friends and you’re always having a good time. And I guess I don’t need those friends who won’t accept me.” When she made that comment, Dave and I had only been married five years …we were just getting started on making friends.

As Christians, we need to remember that someone is always watching us to see how we interact with others and are we open to fellowshipping.

We must also befriend nonbelievers or how else will they learn about the blessings and joys of knowing Christ. But those we “hang with”, and share our lives with, should share our morals and values, and we should be a support system for each other.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

Let’s be friends on Facebook!

I would love to hear how you make treasured friends.

September 23, 2013
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Will You Be My Spiritual “Big Sis”? Guest Post By Pat Ennis

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Our guest blogger today, Pat Ennis author of The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook , confirms my passion and mission to encourage churches to be more intentional about applying Titus 2:3-5 in the lives of the women in their congregations. We often think of a mentor as a spiritual mom, but Pat offers the perspective of a mentors being a spiritual big sister—

 

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My commitment to mentoring comes from my early years as a young professional when there was an absence of older women who were willing to lend a helping hand. Many offered criticism, few offered help. I vowed that if I survived, I would be willing to help others on their spiritual and professional journeys. The young women whom I have mentored serve our Lord throughout the world. I love the times when I answer the phone to find one of them on the other end of the line. Their personal visits are always a blessing and their e-mails, cards, and letters often arrive to encourage and minister to me on challenging days. I am looking forward to our reunion in heaven and count it a privilege to be “the older woman” in their lives!

The strategy outlined in Titus 2:3-5 provides the biblical foundation for understanding the mentoring relationship, while the book of Ruth details an example of its application.  However, despite the fact that Titus 2:3-5 is an instruction, not a suggestion, to Christian women . . . few are willing to mentor.  Excuses range from, “I don’t have time” to “no one cares what I have to say”.

A Revealing Survey 

The “Perceptions of Homemaking Study,” which established the foundation for The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook, revealed the twenty-first-century woman’s knowledge of—and ability to perform successfully—life skills commonly associated with the management of the home. In the study, 2,315 respondents completed a 30-item survey. Each respondent could list four skills to complete this statement: The homemaking skills many Christian women lack are. . . .

The 4,599 responses revealed that many younger Christian women lack the homemaking skills of cooking, sewing, organization, time management, hospitality, and cleaning.

Women who would be considered “older women” in their churches (35 and above) comprised 62.9% (1,459) of the respondents. They overwhelmingly replied that they are confident in their homemaking skills. However, as they responded to the open-ended questions, the women expressed concern for the lack of biblical character and practical skills possessed by the younger Christian women (15-34 in age) they encounter.

A Break in the Mentoring Cycle

The results suggest a break in the circuit: he Titus 2:3-5 model is being ignored in our evangelical cycle of women’s ministry. The survey results pose a thought-provoking question: Have the younger women become less teachable or have the older women failed to teach?

Seeing answers, I spoke with the editor of the Biblical Womanhood Blog to discuss how the Titus 2:3-5 passage can be practically applied to a mentor/mentee relationship. A gifted, well-educated young woman in her mid-twenties, she provided some insight to what comprises a meaningful mentoring relationship. She commented that in her opinion a mentor is like having a “big sister” who is willing to make a life-to-life relational investment—nurturing, involved, invested, and a willingness to walk with you through “your journey”.

Probing a bit deeper I asked where the “spiritual big sis” draws the line between being interested and intrusive. I so appreciate her suggestions:

  • Ask questions rather than make demands.
  • Serve instead of control.
  • Demonstrate a willingness to mentor.
  • Be an available voice.
  • Avoid perfectionism. The scriptures challenge us toward excellence. Perfectionism is God’s responsibility. That means the mentor needs to be willing to share her “mess ups” so she doesn’t give the impression she walks on water.

Formal or Informal Mentoring

I believe that mentoring relationships can be either formal or informal and have some practical suggestions for each to share with you.

Formal Mentoring Suggestions

  • Reading and discussing a Christian women’s book together (for example, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy DeMoss, Loving God with all Your Mind by Elizabeth George, or my book with Lisa Tatlock, Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God).
  • Completing a study like Janet Thompson’s Face-to-Face Bible study series, written for mentors and mentees to do together.
  • Reading and discussing a commentary on a book of the Bible (such as Titus).
  • Memorizing Scripture or keeping a prayer journal and then spending time talking and praying together each week.

Informal Mentoring Suggestions

  • Discussing questions raised by the younger woman (regarding relationships, skills, or life experiences).
  • Working on projects together such as planning events or holidays to learn practical skills in management (set goals then work together to accomplish them).
  • Simply spending time together talking and letting the younger woman see your life and family.
  • Sharing your knowledge about practical home management (menu planning, cleaning house, or paying the bills).

Whether formal or informal, “The Seasons of Mentoring Cycle” begin when younger and older women regularly spend time together.

Pat Ennis is a distinguished professor of Homemaking and Director of Homemaking Programs at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Fort Worth, Texas. She is a speaker and author, and her most recent release is The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook with Dorothy Patterson (Crossway, March 2013).

Christian Homemaker's Handbook

September 16, 2013
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Ways to Survive a Husband’s Lay Off! By Mary Aucoin Kaarto

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I wrote my latest book Dear God, He’s Home: A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at Home Man! to help wives with husbands home for any reason—disability, illness, unemployment, retirement, reintegration from military deployment—whatever has caused hubby to be home 24/7.

Our guest on Monday Morning Blog is fellow author Mary Kaarto who wrote a book to help men and women who are out of work. Today’s article speaks to wives with laid off husbands. Mary and I share the same passion to help marriages thrive and survive during the transition of having a stay-at-home man!

 HELP for the LAID OFF

One day you’re out getting your nails done and arguing with Little Sally over which backpack to choose for the new school year, blissfully unaware of how blessed you are that this may be the biggest problem you have. Then your husband drags through the door with a look like you’ve never seen before.

You instinctively know something is wrong, because he heads straight to wherever he goes to hide—the bedroom, his home office, the backyard . . . . Ecclesiastes 3:7 reminds us there is a time to be silent and a time to speak. Only you know whether it’s best to leave him alone for a while – or immediately go find him to ask what is wrong.

For Better or Worse . . .

Most traditional marriage vows include “for better or worse, for richer or poorer” and layoffs provide a challenging – but phenomenal – opportunity for couples to live up to their vows. To grow closer to God and each as the wife supports her husband. Wives can, and should, consider helping their husbands through this gauntlet of pain that seems like it will never end.

Ways to Help a Laid Off Husband

We’re all familiar with the boring drills on airplanes before take-offs, when the airline’s employees remind us to put our oxygen masks on first before helping others, during an emergency. In a similar fashion, it’s important that wives don’t lose sight of their own needs during this time. We cannot take care of our husbands, if we don’t take care of ourselves as well.

  • If you’re not already active in a women’s Bible study class or small group, please consider joining one. We women are emotional creatures, genetically wired and created by God to talk ninety-miles-a-minute at any given time! Women NEED to express their thoughts and feelings pretty much all the time, but most husbands cannot handle hearing them at length, especially during a layoff. The poor guys need a break, so consider venting to your family and friends right now.
  • One of the highest priorities wives have is to pray for their husbands on a daily basis, in good times and bad. If possible, find a good devotional book for couples to share together each evening after supper and the kids are in bed. Having a regular quiet time together allows couples the security of a routine during a shaky time, and it gives them some semblance of normalcy and something to look forward to at the end of the day.
  • Years ago, there was a popular country & western song by Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings, which addressed the importance of “getting back to the basics of love.” Remember what’s most important in life: faith, family, and friends. It’s not about buying things you can’t afford with money you don’t really have so you can keep up with the Jones. Sadly, in today’s economic climate, the Jones may be headed to bankruptcy court.
  • When you have time, make an itemized list of your expenses – including upcoming costs for getting kids back to school, Christmas and birthdays – and see if you can reduce or eliminate them all together. Depending on the age of your children, they may be old enough to understand and learn to be happy with one special gift, rather than many, to open this year. I know, as a mother, this will be very hard to do, but your family’s survival depends on this.
  • Show your husband that you’re willing to cut back as much as possible without throwing a fit; it will help lift unnecessary burdens from his shoulders. I’d like to add that this layoff will not kill your family or your kids; it will bring you closer together and your kids will learn some very valuable lessons like … the value of a dollar, money doesn’t grow on trees, how to create and stick to a budget, etc.

All He Needs Is A Little Respect

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. – Proverbs 25:11

  • Many, if not most, men say the number one need from their wives is respect. By speaking highly of your husband – especially to him and in front of others (but within his earshot) – you help boost his self-esteem when he needs it most and remind him of your love. Men have fragile egos; don’t hurt them unnecessarily by belittling, especially when the world’s already beating them to a pulp.
  • Keeping the lines of communication open is important for both husbands and wives, but it’s common for men to shut down when they’re in pain. Pastoral counseling may prove helpful, whether receiving it together as a couple or on an individual basis. Going before God, our wisest Counselor and the best Comforter we could ever have, is always the best idea.
  • Physical affection and loving gestures, maintaining direct eye contact, giving your undivided attention whenever possible.
  • Continue with your family’s normal life rhythms.
  • Most husbands need sexual intimacy like women need to talk, so creating, and occasionally initiating, opportunities for making love may be a good idea. Pray about this, because your husband may be under such pressure that he’s unable to perform sexually and you don’t want him to perceive this as another “failure.”

Although I learned to thrive, and not just survive, during my own two layoffs, I did so as a single mother. From these difficult-but-doable life experiences, I learned that being laid off can be, and often is, one of the best things that can ever happen to someone.

It all depends on their response. Will they turn to, trust, and follow God, their Divine Employer – or will they continue to rely on their own human strength and wisdom? As one of my favorite pastors and authors, Dr. Charles Stanley, always says, “Trust and obey God, and leave all the consequences to Him.”

My web site, www.marykaarto.com, includes a “10 Ways to Support Your Husband During a Layoff” free handout, among other information.

My free devotionals blog is found at www.facebook.com/helpforthelaidoff.

HELP for the LAID OFF is available at bookstores, including Amazon and all online web sites.

About the Author

 Mary Kaarto2

Mary Aucoin Kaarto is a long-time follower of Jesus Christ, happily remarried after nearly 20 years as a contented Christian single, devoted mother, and “Nammi” to two precious grandkids. She is also the author of HELP for the LAID OFF, a Christ-centered book about trusting God during a layoff. In her former life, Mary covered the oil & gas and healthcare industries in addition to writing numerous freelance articles for the Houston Chronicle and other various publications.

September 9, 2013
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Mentoring Tips on Raising Godly Children By Crystal Bowman

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In my book Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I point out that every parent of a prodigal wishes we had done things differently and started praying for our children when they were young, before they became prodigals. In the following guest post, Crystal Bowman author of My Mama and Me—Rhyming Devotions for You and Your Child, shares mentoring tips on raising godly children.

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No Greater Joy

One of my mom’s favorite Bible verses is 3 John 1:4 — I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.

Now that I am a mother and grandmother, that has become one of my favorite verses as well. My husband and I have raised three amazing children who are all walking with the Lord. As I mentor many young mothers through MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers), they want to know how we did it!

I believe you can be a wonderful, godly parent and still have children who walk away from the faith when they grow up. Many times it is only for a season, but for some, it is longer.

A Solid Foundation

The best thing we can do as parents is give our children a solid biblical foundation by teaching them about God from the time they are babies to the time they leave home. Since most of my books are for preschool children, I pray that the books I write will be a helpful resource for parents as they read and talk about spiritual things with their little ones. Reading with your children is one of the precious gifts of motherhood, and sharing your faith is the most important gift you can give your child.

Kid-friendly Devotions

Making time for bedtime Bible stories or mealtime devotions is a great way to teach children about God and encourage meaningful discussion. My newest book, My Mama and Me—Rhyming Devotions for You and Your Child features twenty-five devotions, each including a rhyming message that teaches children about God, a Scripture verse, a prayer, and an activity that reinforces the theme. The devotions are spiritually solid, yet fun and enjoyable for young children.

The Importance of Prayer

Many of the moms whom I mentor were not raised in Christian homes. They know it is important to pray for their children, but at times they feel inadequate. I remind them that God knows their hearts and they just need to talk to God like they talk to a friend. With that in mind, I wrote a prayer at the end of the book for mothers to pray over their children.

Just Released

My Mama and Me has just been released by Tyndale House Publishers. If you get a copy of the book, you will notice the book was written by two authors—Crystal Bowman and Teri McKinley. I am Crystal Bowman and Teri McKinley is my daughter. I have no greater joy!

Bio: Crystal Bowman is the author of over 80 books for children including The One Year Book of Devotions for Preschoolers, and My Grandma and Me—Rhyming Devotions for You and Your Grandchild. She is also a national speaker, a lyricist, and a regular contributor to Clubhouse Jr. Magazine.

www.crystalbowman.com

www.facebook.com/crystaljbowman

 Crystal Bowman and Teri McKinley

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August 26, 2013
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Mentor From Your Mess

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Kathy McDaniel and me

Kathy and Janet in Colorado

I saw the following post on the Facebook page of a dear long-time friend of the family. Kathy is a mom weathering through a difficult and long divorce. I asked to share her sage words of wisdom with my readers because she describes lived-out mentoring.

Kathy said absolutely and prays that her sharing will help many others!

God doesn’t allow us to go through difficult circumstances just to build our own character. As we experience His faithfulness in all situations, He wants us to share where our strength comes from with someone on a similar journey.

My passion is to help other women understand that mentoring is simply—Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness—my tagline for living the Christian life. Kathy gets that. I hope you do too!

Kathy’s Facebook Post with editorial review:

Reach Out and Touch Someone

I continue to hear more and more stories of women in the midst of divorce or separation, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, and the victims of financial “money moving.” If you know someone going through this, please reach out to her. Let her know you care and that you’re there for her.

Pray consistently for her and her children! I can’t tell you how isolating it can be when your world is crashing down: you’re bruised and battle scarred, scared, and trying to be strong for your kids. It’s so easy to isolate because you have nothing left to give; but that’s when you need others to hold you up, pray for you, and bring you a Costco pizza so you remember to eat and feed your kids.

Don’t Let Anyone Walk Through Difficulty Alone

I never would have made it through without my family, friends, and church family, huddling around me and lifting me up in prayer. They wouldn’t let me isolate—even when I tried—and I am so blessed because of it. The numbers of women walking through this battle is staggering, and we need to make sure they don’t walk alone! And if you know a dad in this situation, reach out to him. The numbers aren’t as great, but the pain is just as deadly!

Honor Faithful Love

My heart aches when I see so many families torn apart by infidelity, abuse, porn, and arrogance. To those with a faithful spouse who keeps walking with you in the middle of life’s chaos, hold him/her close. Treasure them, pray for them!

Adopt a broken family into your hearts. Let their kids see a healthy marriage—they need to know it’s possible.

The First Step in Healing is Helping

For those who have walked the broken road and survived, share your story, wisdom, failures, hugs . . . as God leads you. Offer hope to those who can’t see past today! God allows us to go through trials because He has a greater purpose than we can see. One of those purposes is to comfort those who are on a similar journey. You understand what they are dealing with, when no one else can. You know how to pray for them. You know how to help them avoid things that you didn’t avoid. Guide them through the deep waters so that one day they can guide someone else.

Most importantly, point them to the ultimate Guide: Jesus Christ!

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Kathy is living out my paraphrase of Titus 2:3-5: Teach another woman what you’ve been taught so she can someday teach what you taught her . . .

Read more of Janet’s thoughts on mentoring.

August 19, 2013
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Good Morning, Lord!

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Photo: Feeling right at home with Dave Thompson!

Elk Ridge Bed and Breakfast in Keystone, South Dakota

My husband, Dave, and I have just returned from a two-week road trip to Colorado visiting grandkids, and to South Dakota where I spoke at LifeWay’s You Lead Women’s Ministry Training in Sioux Falls. After the training, we continued up to the Black Hills where hubby had booked us into the Elk Ridge Bed and Breakfast in Keystone for a little site seeing on our way home.

Motorcycles Everywhere!

(Overhead Warning Road Signs in South Dakota and Wyoming)

 

To our surprise, we discovered after arriving in South Dakota that our visit to the Black Hills coincided with the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally—as in Harleys everywhere! The population in the Black Hills triples during this rally with bikers coming in the week before and staying the week after. Dave and I in our Subaru Forester with a luggage compartment on top were sorely out of place as we toured Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and the scenic drive through Custer Park with packs of motorcycles. The music in our ears was the roaring Harley engines and the food we learned to eat was Buffalo Burgers when buffalo was the only item on the menu!

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Dave eating a buffalo burger next to some Harley bikers from Switzerland!

South Dakota, Where God is First, and Reminders of the Lakota Warriors are Everywhere.

(On The Elk Ridge Bed and Breakfast website)

 

It’s amazing that Dave was able to get a reservation at the Elk Ridge Bed and Breakfast because all the hotels and campgrounds sell out during this annual Motorcycle Rally event. Other guests at the B&B had traveled on their motorcycles from Pennsylvania and Ohio, and when we checked out, our room went to another biker couple.

But God opened the door for us to be at this B&B at this time. The night we arrived, as I visited with our hosts, Leslie and Ron, I sensed immediately that they were Christians. As I often do . . . I just asked them if they were Christians, and they said absolutely!

Their strong faith was evident again the next morning at breakfast as the guests all gathered around the table and started getting to know each other. Leslie stood at the head of the table and quietly interjected “Shall we bless the food…” Without hesitation, she clasped her hands, bowed her head, and prayed: “Good morning, Lord! Thank you for this beautiful day and this beautiful place…” She went on to pray a protection over all of us who would be on the roads and asked a blessing for the food.

This was natural for Dave and me—we pray before every meal, everywhere. I don’t know where the other guests were spiritually, and I didn’t open my eyes to see who bowed with us in prayer, but there was respectful silence as Leslie prayed. When she said “Amen,” we started passing food around the table and went back to conversing.

After breakfast, I thanked Leslie for praying and asked if she prayed a blessing over breakfast every morning. She said yes, unless she can’t get her guests’ attention. On those mornings, she says “Well, Lord I tried, but let me pray for them.”

Elk Ridge was not featured as a “Christian B&B”…it is a lovely B&B operated by Christians who aren’t afraid to display their faith and love of the Lord and welcome each day with “Good morning, Lord.”

Questions to Think About . . .

If you owned a Bed and Breakfast or similar establishment, would you boldly pray a blessing over the food as Leslie did . . . even when you didn’t know, or you did know, the spiritual persuasion of your guests?

Do you pray over meals at your home when you know all your guests aren’t Christian? Why or why not?

Titus 1:16 says that some “people claim they know God, but they deny him by the way they live.” Leslie and Ron know God and acclaim Him by the way they live. Ah, if that could be said for everyone professing to be Christians, our world would be a different place today. Do you agree?

To find out more about Elk Ridge Bed and Breakfast.

More Pictures from Our Trip

Photo

Only room to park motorcycles in Keystone and every city nearby.

Photo: Now that's impressive!!!

Even Pastor Greg Laurie joined the Motorcycle Rally. Here he is at Mt. Rushmore!

Photo: At Mt Rushmore.

August 12, 2013
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Celebrate National Grandparent’s Day with Prayer

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Grandparents day

Grandparents laughing with grandchildren 

Did you know there is actually a National Grandparents Day? This year it is on September 13. Have you been planning a celebration?  It certainly isn’t recognized like Mother’s Day for Father’s Day, but those of us who are grandparents know what a blessing it is to have grandchildren…and that’s celebration enough for me!

[Tweet “I LOVE being a grandparent. I like to say that God saved the last for best.”]

I LOVE being a grandparent. I like to say that God saved the last for best. My husband, Dave, and I have eleven grandchildren and we plan our schedule around spending time with each of them.

My friend Lillian Penner is the National Prayer Coordinator for the Christian Grandparenting Network and I invited Lillian to be a guest blogger today to talk to grandparents about how to celebrate National Grandparents Day by praying for our grandchildren. I pray for each of my eleven in my morning quiet time, and I can visibly see God at work in each of their lives. Enjoy Lillian’s post today–

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Christian Grandparenting Network is asking grandparents all over the world to unite in prayer for their grandchildren on Sunday, September 13, 2013. This date is the official United States National Grandparents Day designated by a Senate proclamation signed by President Jimmy Carter in 1978.

            Our grandchildren are living in a desperate moral and spiritual climate navigating in a world hostile to truth. Satan has launched an aggressive attack on our families, schools and our nation to desensitize our children to truth and righteousness. Perhaps at no other time in our history is a call to prayer more urgently required than it is today for our grandchildren.

[Tweet “Perhaps at no other time in our history is a call to prayer more urgently required than it is today for our grandchildren.”]

            The mission of Christian Grandparenting Network (CGN) is to promote effective grandparenting, which is intentional about assisting our children and grandchildren to know and follow Christ wholeheartedly. CGN is issuing a call to all grandparents to join with other grandparents in their churches, community and around the world to “Stand in the Gap” for an intentional day of prayer for the next generation.

[Tweet ” Will you stand in the GAP to join grandparents worldwide on Sunday September 13 to pray for the next generation that they may walk in the truth? “]

Will you stand in the GAP to join grandparents worldwide on Sunday September 13 to pray for the next generation that they may walk in the truth? Will you volunteer to plan an event with your friends or in your church?

To join the movement  go to our Facebook page, “Like” our fan page and under the “more” tab, you’ll find a link to my free e-book Reflecting on My Grandparenting Journey.

For additional information and resources go to www.gocgn.com or contact Lillian Penner [email protected].

August 5, 2013
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A Blessing and A Hearbreak

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agold-book

Last week, I was grumbling about filling out a long form for a local author’s group. I really don’t like forms and had procrastinated until the night before the due date. I decided to go to Amazon for ISBN numbers and descriptions, and there it was—I couldn’t believe it—Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey was in the top 100 Best Sellers for breast cancer books —#28 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Diseases & Physical Ailments > Cancer > Breast Cancer!

I seldom look at my Amazon sales numbers, which change daily. If I let those numbers influence me, I might never write again. So I have no idea how long this book has been on Amazon’s bestseller list—every author’s dream—or how long it will stay there. Let me clarify that my book was not in the top 100 of all books on Amazon, but it was in the top 100 in its category. The number fluctuates from day to day, but it’s stayed in the top 100 for awhile.

In shock, I clicked on the link to the page displaying the top 100 books; and yes, there it was #28! A joyous “Yahoo!” quickly turned into a heartbreaking moan . . . this could only mean that more and more women are being diagnosed with breast cancer. In the span of a few moments, my feelings transgressed through shock, joy, gratefulness, praise, sadness, and finally humbleness that God would use me to comfort and encourage so many breast cancer sisters.

Reaching Out

Recently, I learned on Facebook that two author friends have breast cancer. One I have known for years, and the other I’ve only recently met on Facebook. I’ve left occasional comments and “likes” on their timelines, but I felt the Holy Spirit persistently nudging me to engage with these breast cancer sisters on a more personal level.

I knew what I was to do—I messaged each one and simply said: I’m a three-time breast cancer survivor and I’ve written a book that might bring you comfort. I’m praying for you and want you to know that I’m here for you if you have questions or just want to chat or cry. Immediately, both responded back thanking me and had so many questions that only someone who has been through this heartbreak could answer. One wrote: Thank you for reaching out to me. I’ve asked the Lord to bring me together with women who have experienced this and that can encourage me. You are one of them.

Sharing Life’s Experiences and God’s Faithfulness

People all around us are praying that the Lord will bring someone experienced in what they’re going through. God has allowed me challenging experiences like having a prodigal, infertility, breast cancer, divorce, being a single parent, my father murdered, blending a family, and chronic back pain to name a few. In dealing with life’s hard times, I have two choices—as  do you—1) wallow in self-pity that spirals into depression and a victim personality, 2) trust God and turn hurts and pains over to Him and let Him use them to His glory.

It’s A Choice

I will rejoice that God has used my breast cancer to help me pen Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer to comfort, encourage, and walk beside other women who are dealing with this devastating disease. And I will rejoice that for now, it is an Amazon Best Seller because hopefully the publisher will keep it in print longer to bless other women. That has been a long-time prayer because publishers need to see books selling in order to keep investing in them.

I am humbled that God has gifted me with the ability and desire to share my life experiences with others to offer hope in God alone. It’s hard to believe He thinks I am worthy of such a calling, but as long as we are on this earth, there is going to be pain and suffering, and if He thinks I can help comfort the afflicted then I am blessed, even if it’s heartbreaking.

 

What experience do you think God is asking you to share with someone who is hurting right now?

 How can you reach out and let them know that God is there for them and so are you?

Breast cancer book

July 22, 2013
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Got Books?

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academic,books,leisure,libraries,research,shelves,volumes,information,knowledge,stacks

My former Pastor, Rick Warren, says that every leader is a reader. Pastor Rick is a voracious reader, and consequently, knowledgeable and well versed on a variety of topics. I understand and share Pastor Rick’s passion for reading as evidenced by visitors to our home: walls of bookshelves overflowing with books, and books and magazines bookmarked or dog-eared in every room. I never want to find myself without something to read, so I’m often reading many different books and articles in different rooms of the house, at the same time. I had to laugh when my 7 year-old granddaughter asked why I had a magazine rack in the bathroom! That seemed normal to me J.

Sharing a Love of Reading and Writing

This past Saturday, I enjoyed spending the day with others who share my love of books. I presented my authored books at the Pacific Northwest Church Librarians annual conference held in Nampa, Idaho. Many local authors were there with their books too, and we all enjoyed a keynote presentation from the delightful and prolific Lauraine Snelling, author of 70 books and still writing.

Lauraine asked if we could remember a librarian who had influenced us as a young reader. Since her audience was comprised of librarians and authors, all our hands shot up! Lauraine mentioned that when she was a child, the librarians at her local library and the bookmobile fostered her love of books.

Lauraine’s question prompted memories of my childhood and the bookmobile that parked in our neighborhood every other week. If you’re too young to remember bookmobiles, they were libraries on wheels. The closest thing I can compare them to is a very large, gutted out motor home with bookshelves full of books lining the walls. The local neighbors could check out and return books.

As a kid, I would ride my bike to the bookmobile and check out my limit of books—the library limit or the limit I could fit into the basket on my bike, whichever came first. When I was sixteen and could drive, I spent countless weekends at the library doing research for class projects. I would pack a lunch and spend the day. Just walking into the library gave me the same rush as walking into a bookstore does today. So many books, so little time, as I’ve always been a slow, but persistent, reader.

Fostering the Love for Books in the Next Generation

Today, I live in a tiny rural town—no bookmobiles, but we have a brand new library where my grandkids love to go when they come to visit. We check out their limit of books, DVDs, and backpacks full of fun activities—going to the library is actually right up there with going to the pool and the river—well maybe a close second. But I love it when one of them asks if we can go to the library!

Many of our eleven grandchildren have their own library card at their local libraries, and Grampa and I often choose books for birthday and Christmas gifts for the grandkids and their parents.

How Can Reading Change Your Life?

I did not set out to be a writer. I have degrees in Food Administration, Business Administration, and Christian Leadership, but not writing. I’ve always been in awe of those who could engage a reader by mastering the art of conveying and organizing thoughts, ideas, research, and words into a book. I never thought that would describe me someday. Then in 1997, without me seeing it coming, God asked me to put into writing how to start a mentoring ministry. Still I didn’t consider myself an author; I was just writing a manual for how to start, grow, and maintain a mentoring ministry. Then those who used Woman to Woman Mentoring How to Start, Grow, and Maintain a Mentoring Ministry to start their mentoring ministries wanted to know how to train, and offer mentor and mentee handbooks. More “resource” writing.

Next, it was my husband suggesting I write Bible studies for the mentors and mentees to study together and the Face-to-Face Bible Study series was born. Then, I had breast cancer and longed for a book not yet written. God prompted me that the purpose in my breast cancer was to write that book, and Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer was written out of my pain and desire to provide my breast-cancer sisters with the book I wished I had: a mentor, friend, record keeper, love letter from God, snippets of other women’s stories, and places to write my own story.

Now, here I am seventeen books later and working on the next book. Had I not been an avid reader, I couldn’t have started and lead the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry. I read every book I could get my hands on that dealt with mentoring—starting with the Bible. I could have never written Bible studies without reading the Bible, commentaries, and researching how to write Bible studies.

Reading may not prompt you to become a writer, but it will expand the horizons of your mind and your world. However, let me encourage you to be selective with what you read. Not all books are equal, and not all books are good for our minds. Many books, like many movies and television shows, are actually detrimental to our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. There’s power in the written word: for good or evil. Be selective in what you read. Remember: trash in, trash out.

I recommend selecting reading material from Christian bookstores and Christian book sites like christianbook.com. Of course, the best book to start with is the best seller of all time—the Bible.

I would love to hear what made you a lover of books and what books you’re reading now. Please leave a comment and let’s share with each other. I’m reading Congo Dawn by Jeanette Windle and really enjoying her knowledge of the Congo and the story line. Ok, now it’s you’re turn.

July 15, 2013
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